I'm a fan,I'm subscribed your channel,it's good to know information about opposite relationship,it gives me more information to help my straight friends
At My age.. 70.. here is my advice..., Find someone who has the same interest as Yourself.., Someone who does not Drink.nor use Drugs.., Some one who works. Full time.., Someone who is able to Take care of their Self..., Someone that is Fairly content.. and Kind-hearted..! If You find that.. You have found a possible mate. GOOD LUCK..BLESSINGS TO U BOTH...!
The best advice I ever got was this: "Pay attention to how a man speaks to and treats his mother for that is exactly how he will treat you!" At 64, I've learned it's the truth!
I tell my nieces - pay attention to how they treat their mothers & their sisters (if they have any). I also tell them to pay attention to how they treat kids & how they are around babies. It says a lot.
Not true my ex seemed amazing to his mother, and that’s what impressed me so much to date him. Turns out it was all an act when we moved into our own place. He became extremely physically and mentally abusive. I never saw it coming or expected it the first time he knocked me out I was in shock.
I met my husband of nearly 42 years on a blind date that neither of us wanted or needed. Our mutual friend kept pushing until we both said okay, I’ll do it to make you happy! I was 32 yo, 5’7”, slim, busty, natural long dark hair, nice skin. What impressed my husband most was my long, painted natural fingernails that I took care of myself. I was past 40 before I had a professional manicure, but I did my own nails well! He told me that he felt like a woman who took care of her nails took good care of herself. I lost him 15 months ago after all those years of being so in love, combining families of our four teenage girls and my one ADHD son. We had plenty of challenges, but made it through them all because our love was so strong until our last moment. As terribly as I miss him, I’m so grateful for what we had.
You sound like 41 yrs with a wonderful man and the major feeling I have had since he passed away a year and a half agohas been of a deep sense of gratitude and thankfulness, I mourned him, of course, BUT I realized how lucky I was while he was still alive....there was not one day I didnt tell him how much loved him....we made all our dreams come true together...
1. I never gossip 2. I'm not on social media 3. I take a shower every day, I brush my teeth and floss and go dentist regularly and I always smell nice 4. I almost never wear makeup 5. I have nice female friends who I know in past few years and they always advise me what's best 6. Both my parents are lovely and obviously my dad is nice 7. And I'm good with emotions and I recognise my emotions and admit my emotions. + I'm low mentenance and good with finances, and I bought my own house + I respect and adore men Guess what, I'm single and looking in past 3 years 🤦♀️😂😂
Men are attracted to and look for sexy women. They love classy looking fashionable women. Curves are a must but not overweight. They are visual. It really helps if you're not very bright bc they're intimidated by educated professional women.
The problem here is : you don't need saving. My independence was always a snag with guys. Other women I knew via family or friend or acquaintance that had a mental disorder, alcohol problem, drug problem, or couldn't manage money, all attracted men like flies to honey. But I'd rather be single than with a man who can't accept a woman who isn't needy but balance in life. Yeah, I'm single 😅
@@franwebb7756 I’ve noticed that men seem to prefer women who are “broken” or messed up in some way, which, frankly, is creepy to me. …but the women who have their lives together, men are terrified of us. Make it make sense. 😂🙃👸🏻
My husband and I met 34 yrs ago. We instantly felt like we were home when we went on our first date. It was the sign we knew we didn't want that to end. It wasn't fire works and butterflies. It was calm, centered, like 2 pieces of puzzle connecting together so naturally.
So beautiful. I had exactly that too. A blind date, my first date at the age of 25. The second date he took me out to the countryside to a little old fashioned pub with a roaring fire. Even though I was being driven down these dark quiet country lanes by a man I knew little about, I sensed nothing would happen to me. I felt safe and secure. That night we talked for hours, we had the same life values. Everything just clicked for us. We were engaged a month later and married the next year. Life had its ups and downs but we survived together. Mutual respect and a shared sense of humour helps. We had 32 years of marriage together. He died two years ago. I lost my best friend and my soul mate. Life is very lonely now. I miss him. I also miss male company and conversation.
As a happily married woman, I watched your video out of curiosity for what these noticeable traits were. It all sounds good but please know that there is one thing outside the control of a woman. That is her relationship with her father. Mine was verbally and physically abusive to me, my mother, and my 4 siblings. It is very hard for me to say anything nice about him. So what did it do to me? It made me incredibly independent and strong and very defensive. Fortunately my husband understands this about me and will give me gentle reminders he is not my father. Indeed he is not. As for what I would like to recommend to all people when searching for a partner, look for someone with a similar intellect and sense of humor. It is a winning combination.
I can totally relate to your experience, because I went through almost the same experience. But it has not caused for me to label all men, because there are some good men out there. It indeed just takes the right man to love an understand you. Not having had the best relationship with your dad, does not mean that as a woman you are doomed and can never find true love.
We took it to the next level. Studied personality types, identified our gifts (individually and skill set). It's been a fun relationship. We get to be what our parents were not and the grandparents we always wanted to be.
@@raissavanvarsseveld6488 You are 100% correct My wife and I were with the "wrong man" and I "wrong woman", until we met. Two researcher types makes for a fun relationship. Yes, she still my bride of 29yrs.
That's honorable, but not practical. As a man, I WANT to be the best I can be for someone, and that means I may need to change myself a bit. I will need to be healthier, less lazy, more caring, more willing to sacrifice my time for that person. If you are not willing to do that, you may miss out.
@@theeclectic2919 Would you change yourself for a woman? Not to mention she is talking about her base self. in a good relationship, everyone changes some. It when there is an expectation that one party changes a lot to 'please' the other party that is unhealthy. If you want to best the best man you can be , you don't need a woman in your life to so that.
@@gusmonster59 No. I'm talking about changing yourself BEFORE you find the right one for you. If you can make yourself better before you meet the right person, you should be able to maintain that for life. The original poster said, "The right man FOR ME will be happy with the real me." Whatever you are at anytime is the real you. Why can't the real you be a better person that YOU created?
This is clearly an argument of semantics. It is reasonable to change yourself in healthy ways for a partner, and sometimes to compromise on important things you have different perspectives on. So, yes, it's good to gossip less, have good self care and avoid toxic chemical fragrances. It is not ok to change who you are,. So say you love having pets and you meet someone that would prefer you didn't have dogs, it's probably better to move on than change yourself. Or you're into astrology, or are religious and meet someone who doesn't share your values or is dismissive of your interests, in those situations you should not change.
The best advice I ever got was from my grandmother. She told me to never trust a man that doesn't like cats (I don't remember her ever having a cat). Her reason was simple and made so much sense. She said men usually don't like cats because they can't control them. And controlling men are not good partners.
That's a very good observation. You can tell dogs to sit, stay or what have you and dogs will be more than happy to comply. Most men are control freaks and they don't even have control of there own lives and them selves.
My ex hated my cat. That's one of the biggest reasons he's now my ex. I will never go out with a guy who doesn't like cats again. To me it shows a big personality flaw and your explanation has made me understand this even better.
I thought it was hilarious and very telling that cats, in general, did not like my ex (who didn't like them) and I noticed that cats almost always went out of their way to pester him. It made all kinds of sense to me.
Just be yourself. A man who chooses you will love you regardless of how much makeup you wear or how you smell. Also, advice from others is great, but you should find love on your own. You know in your gut what feels right, especially the older you get. Don't share your journey with anyone else, as even people who know you well will not share the same perspective as you. This video is great, but when it comes to love, there are no rules.
It's nice to know that us daughters who were abandoned or abused by our fathers are forever doomed to be damaged goods and are not worthy of a healthy relationship. Continuing to victimize the victim Edit: I'd like to address the quick assumptions of many of the comments. I'm in the process of healing. Our family has suffered alot of grief and trauma, I am 1 of 5 children, 2 of us are now passed and 2 are suffering severe mental illness and addiction I am the only one of 5 who has done the work through therapy and healing, I am successful, actively working on myself everyday, I don't engage in distructive activities ( dont drink or use substances) I have a strong support of people who have been there as family to me. So to all the "Dr. Phil's" on this feed, maybe do a little self reflection of your own before you break out your internet psychology degrees. I'm sick of people painting people who had a hard life with a negative brush because some of us are winning wars, you couldn't survive witnessing, let alone fight in.
Well, sad but true, which is why a loving father is so important. Children are healthier when they have both parents but it doesn't always happen. I did not have that. No father and a narcissistic mother that left me damaged all my life with CPTSD. Then we are sentenced to healing ourself for the rest of our lives. One thing I learned, it's best not to label yourself a victim. Life is hard but if one works on their healing they will attract likeminded.
That’s not what he said, he was actually very correct he didn’t say you can’t be in a relationship but let’s be honest, if you have a terrible father you do see men through that lens and the bar is set very low, you don’t have much expectation of him because you were already trained to live in one sided relationships where you are subconsciously seeking his approval which makes you a target for very toxic men. If you understand this in yourself and heal that, it’s a different story but emotionally intelligent men can see from a mile away if a woman has been abused. The can see it, they do not need to ask but the right man will help you if your not toxic because of it. No man with any integrity wants to be with a woman who has no emotional regulation or maturity, who yells and behaves irrationally just because someone else hurt you and no one should ever have to deal with that. If you don’t heal yourself before entering into a relationship you will bleed all over someone who didn’t cut you. No man should ever have to deal with being abused because someone abused you.
@@christinestone391 You CAN heal! I have done it. I had a great relationship with my dad but my psychopathic mother got to the point where she had to destroy him because she was jealous. She succeeded when I was 14 and I have suffered CPTSD too. It took me until I was 73 to figure out what was wrong but I have.Mercifully, the last narc in my life died, 3+ years ago so I have been free and healing much faster. I also have refound Faith. I don't want to be specific because you have free will which faith to follow or none, but I strongly advise getting on a spiritual track if you aren't already.
Nobody's victimizing the victim, it's up to the victim to do the work to get healed and whole. Instead of putting your broken self on a man, men are not nature to be able to handle that. That's not the way things are or the way things work. Do your work! It's not blame it's just the way things work. We have to live life as it is and not as we wish it would be. And I'm one of these women you're talking about so I know.
You triggered my emotions just by one sentence about how the connection with your father was. Mine has passed away and he was so awesome. He was the kind of man who, when i visited my parents went outside in the snow without saying anything and when i went home i saw that he has cleaned the car Windows from snow and ice just so that i would have a safe drive home, i forgot it but that,s one for you guys to remember, if you want to impress a woman make her feel safe and nurtured...
Yes and this makes a good woman more feminine calm easy to be around enjoyable and able to serve & pamper her man! As a woman vote Yes on your comment!
Women notice:1) how much a man talks about himself. 2) how many times he looks at his phone 3)his smell 4) how he dresses and how he is groomed, including if he takes care of his teeth and body 5)his relationship with his mother and how he views women in general 6) his employment record, is he lazy ..not is he rich..but will she end up having to support him 7) how critical he is 8) does he look at other women while she is with him. BTW, a smart girl will have her best friend come onto him to see if he will jump ship
I had a Housemate recently, who is totally dedicated to his mom, and he is a true mama’s boy. Talks to her every day, adores her, loves her, and, what’s more is that he’s been single forever. Why? Because mommy needs to come first. His mommy tells him who he can marry. This is true. And, the guy’s in his 30s, PLUS, has a serious defiance disorder because his mama is a control freak. So watch for the red flags. If too involved with mommy that is a big one.
Hi Ismael! I clicked on your video merely out of curiosity as Hubby and I will be celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary this coming August. I completely agree with w hay you have listed here with a caveat about parents. Not all people who creat a baby should be parents, and in that case I assert that how a prospective partner treats everyone should provide that information. I would also add one more thing to the list. How easily conversation flows between you is a HUGE indicator. We have spent so many hours just yakking about anything and everything under the sun and have since we were set up on a surprise blind date 42 years ago. Because of this we have a deep and intimate understanding of each other. This was extremely helpful raising our three children as we knew without argument if the topic was ‘a hill the other would die on’, so what’s the point of arguing?
This from a guy who says he’s been in love several times. Also, there’s way way way way way more things men notice. Lastly, there are other factors in a relationship that are way way way way more important such as common interests, religion, vibes, proper communication, and more.
1. I don’t gossip. 2. I don’t have social media. 3. I don’t wear perfume but some say I smell good. 4. I don’t make up. 5. I don’t have any. 6. I don’t have a real relationship with my father. 7. I handle dissapoinment with OK, I’ll do it myself.
@@michelemoneywell8765Are u actually taking notes with this? Present as YOU! Have your own agenda in what YOU'D like. The right man will love u as u are! (Unless u'r smelly 😂 jk)
The comment about love from your father really hit the target for me. My father loved my brother he tolerated me, I was nothing to hide, he never told me he loved me and now I see that is what I've wanted my whole life! And I accepted any love I was given because that was what I was groomed to accept.
💃💅🏽Baby girl fall in love with yourself!! How much love have you given away to people who don't deserve it? *YOU* are an incredible, kind and sweet lady!! ❤️🫶 It's time to give to yourself what you gave away for too long! And if your dad is too silly to see it, that really is sad for HIM. My dad was like yours, what a shame he too sexist to recognise a great person if it's a girl! Because baby, although I love my sons dearly, it's my daughters who pay attention to me and shower love, kindness and help! Many women were lied to like we were, thinking boys validate our existence. But no, sweet child,,,,true love is EVERYTHING!!! Give it to yourself a while ❤❤
At 64, having been married over 2 decades, I can testify that much of what he says is true! I wish I had learned it earlier, but came from a disturbed home background with a very unusual father who was also abusive. So, I erred in many areas and it took me awhile and lots of heartache to figure things out. I’m still learning. And, tho he skipped #1 thing that all men notice: your physical appearance (sorry girls), he was correct about those interested in a serious relationship. Fortunately, however, each man looks for somewhat different things, and it’s good to assess yourself accurately both physically and as to character, as he suggested. My FAVORITE point was when he mentioned that if you flaunt the physical, you will attract that kind of man. The bait you use is the fish you catch. 🎣🐠🐡
And I... have the opposite dad and that’s also not how I see all men. Wait... Are women capable of discernment AND outgrowing their childhood education? Who knew? 😄
Yeah, he got this one wrong. But I will say, the most sensible girl I ever dated was the one who had the best relationship with her father. She didn't perceive all men to be like him, but I think she felt like the ideal man should be someone similar to him. I think the guy in the video was trying to say that women might occasionally compare other men to their father, but he did a poor job of getting that point across.
@@theeclectic2919 You sum things up sensibly, but I will add that the reason several people are triggered by that point is that it’s way too reductive. Psychology is more complex than that, for either men and women. Obviously people who grew up in a safe, loving home with humane values are set up for emotional intelligence from the get-go, when others need to work on it. Which is the important factor that was thrown out the window here. The important question when you meet someone should indeed be: Have they worked out their history if needs be? Besides, even if said person hadn’t worked on themselves and were still operating from an immature place, psychology is much more complex than ‘seeking a boyfriend that reminds her of dad’ just because they’re both men. Sometimes we’re drawn to the opposite type. Sometimes we’re drawn to someone that subconsciously reminds us of our mother, or brother, or sister or aunt, or any person we grew up with. Gender doesn’t matter. Patterns do. So yeah... the point he made on this was so reductive... it just makes me laugh that men would rely on crutches like this, thinking it will give them discernment. Way to watch the world with eyes wide shut.
Especially the older they get. Sit around drinking coffee in thr morning and gossip. Then in the evening a beer and they gossip. My brother in law and husband do this and yet they claim we are gossiping. Usually we're eating dessert and talking about how good it is. 😋
Research Narcissists❗️ I failed, And Blew/flushed down the toilet over 18 years with a minion of ol' split foot hairy legs.......and Lost our child at age of 16 &1/2 years old, its been since Sept.2015 and my Soul Cries. Seems like Narcissists are even more plentiful now in 2024😢
I loved my dad dearly and he loved all five of us children. He treated our mom like a queen, despite the ups and downs. That is the kind of man I was married to for 48 years. Dad was a great example. So was my children’s dad. Both are now deceased. God bless them.
Listening to my husbands male customers when they came to his shop, I can say they can be terrible gossips and bitchy too about each other. And, have nick names for everyone they know.
@@khadeejaansari9860 I know what intimidation is, do you? There is not one woman in the world I'm intimidated by. The so called strong, independent woman is not intimidating, they want a simp and most real men are not simps so they avoid those types of women.
@@hermit1620 Ha ha, the fact that you are here trying to prove that you are not intimidated is in itself proof enough that you have been definitely intimidated, several times in your life, by several strong, confident and independent women. This time around - by me. 😄
My dad is 91 and I still love to do special things for him. He loves a special snack I make, and I keep him supplied, lol. He was always someone I could go to, has been a wonderful grandfather to my son, age 24, and they are best buddies. I am grateful for the father I have!
Lol... my father was a malignant narcissist who enjoyed seeing his children suffer. He used to tell me how useless I was and how anyone could do better than me. He used to be happy when I failed and did everything in his power in order for me to be miserable. Luckily, he's dead now. I love and respect men. I enjoy their company, I do not cheat, I find them extremely funny and interesting. I've been in a very happy relationship for two years now, so no... obvioulsy I don't agree.
I completely agreed with you and know exactly how you felt and feel 🩷 Btw, he also said that girls without father's love upbringing tend to accept breadcrumbs and think they only deserve little ...
My step father wanted my mother all to himself so i 100% understand where you are coming from...... the constant belittling !! I'm glad i have no one around me that forces me to seek their approval any more.... it was an impossible task for over 60 years. I feel sorry for my stifled mother..... her trying to keep him away from me, known as "keeping the peace", turned me into a narc magnet for decades...... i'm so grateful for my freedom now. I won't be worrying about any male relationships any time soon! I'd make a good man's life a misery by not trusting him....
Been there Dad was miserable, controlling, manipulative, abusive… I was broken, but I’m now whole in Christ. Getting ready to celebrate 25yrs of marriage It’s not how you start, but how you finish. A broken past doesn’t have to dictate your future
I can say with a fathers love, my dad was only "conditional" in the way he loved us. Nothing seemed good enough to earn his approval...so true that I have always been anxious concerning love and its been very hard to believe/receive a mans love. I finally decided to rewrite the script and see my Father GODs Love that is Unconditional toward me. He is healing my heart and rewriting the emotional script. Im finally learning to settle into the idea that I dont have to prove myself or be good enough for a man to love me. Im lovely as I am and I have Gods unconditional love which fills my soul completely. A man is just icing on the cake. Gods Love is the cake. Thats just what ive come to see over the years
Amen, Sister! Heavenly Father’s love is perfect, so if our earthly fathers made some mistakes, we can forgive, knowing that Father God offers forgiveness for all.
We met when we were both newly bereaved and both 81. He wore starched cotton shirts and was clean-shaven, and therefore smelled nice. I started seeing signs that he was becoming interested in me! I couldn’t figure out why. We’re now 84 and in an established relationship. I did everything wrong, according to this video. Except reacting calmly to trouble. I did do that.
I was deeply in love with a girl when I was young and she only wore a small amount of makeup and never wore perfume. She had only two scents and both drove me wild: 1. Her hair. She washed her hair with Agree shampoo (which is no longer made). I don't know what was in it, but it was amazing. 2. The natural scent of her skin. Just a gentle whiff of her shoulder was intoxicating.
@@jeepsishumate2021I have a guy still that way with me and he is married. It broke my heart that of all the men I thought he was in deep love with whom he married! I have lost faith in love now
My father was an abusive alcoholic who I hated when I was younger. As I grew older my biggest desire was to understand him because all I wanted was he's love and attention. Fortunately with time and understanding we healed our relationship and I learned many things about him which left me with only admiration for him. He loved me dearly, thankfully I got to know this before he passed on 🙏❤️ It has left me with a desire to admire the next man who comes into my life.
I am so glad that you came to a lovely place of healing. So many people don’t realize that they can get help that can work magic. One phone call and 2 people of the same sex will come and take you to a meeting. You can be drunk. You will never have to say anything , for 2 days or for 20 years.❤
@@turquoisemama33 I guess you have never gone to an AA meeting.( I never needed AA, but a family member did.) It is not a just a meeting. Magic happens, over time. Just go to one open meeting, and I promise, your eyes will open.
Most men Do Not subconsciously understand a female will react in certain ways bc of some underlying psychological things. More like the world revolves around them & what do u mean they're not great enough it wasn't truly all on them to steer out every outcome there ever was. They're that important, truly. Alot of men r not that emotionally mature to even look that far in depth to begin with. Actions r indeed louder than words.. But since we're there, no, I don't like my dad. He's not much of 1. But I will say about him is that he knows way more true stereotypical male things than I've seen a lot of others be ignorant about. & Don't conveniently claim credit bc he's the same gender either. & Don't paint it like my choices this & that. I live in this world too. And by world I don't mean that little bubble of mine that's only in a barn however that saying goes. What I mean is I can talk about anyone, race, age, status, etc. They still can't do some certain things. Also also I saw a jokeish thing about at least my generation of crackheads knew how to rig yada yada about a car. Like wth does this generation do? First, *generation: all ages living at the same time. 2nd) no, I am absolutely not a crackhead. But 3) I def have seen some thirsty sketchy "ghetto" "redneck" ish , thinking wtf in the world .. but it turns out to be true. :/ like why the f would I (I'm a female, k...) put 1 of those white plastic tubing things in front end of my car for? Is that not a fire hazard. Lol I don't even know what I was getting at but in short to each their own
There’s so many other things men observe that puts them off such as: if she rushes to grab a seat on public transport; if she’s being rude to a waiter, salesperson, service staff; if she bargains for trivial items at the market; if she cuts a queue; if she talks on her phone while being served; and so on…..
It’s been my experience over a long life that immature men don’t notice or care about the behaviours you listed, as long as the girl/woman is pretty and is willing to have sex with them despite not being married.
Those things tell if a human is a decent person. We kicked a woman out of our friend group after she bragged about cutting in line at Disney to get a selfie with a celebrity. She’s out.
@@verenamaharajah6082 Not only immature men, but men in general don't care about such characteristics as long as the woman is pretty. I know also mature and good men who do not care about these listed behaviours here in this video. They don't care because there are actually other things more important for them.
Thank you for this valuable information. I finally found the man of my dreams when I worked on myself and can say I truly love myself--good and bad. I feel so much joy and I think he felt that Wishing all who watch this happiness and love ❤❤❤
Many men gossip more than women frfr; dude men gossip about their wives and the women they sleep with all the time. Men, grown men, ask other men what to do and how to handle their relationship allll the time..goh……well, I fart all the time so there’s that 😭😭😭😭😭😭…he can take me as I am or bite the dust… I’m not doing anything extra for a man…
THIS! Thank you! A+ Men gossip way more than us, lowkey on getting any gossip out of us (or anyone really) so they also know what others know (aka staying in the loop) and then say they don't like gossip as a way of trying to trick mainly women into thinking that men don't gossip.
Handling disappointment is something new I heard in your video only. There is so much scope to level up oneself in terms of inner peace and kindness if one learns to handle disappointments gracefully. Thank you for sharing this video.
I remember in college that one of the women was always in full make-up. Over the top actually compared with the rest of us. She began dating one of the guys and then one day I saw the two of them and she had a clean, natural face. I was shocked as I had never seen her like that. I wasn't close to the two of them, but within a day of seeing her 'au natural' they were engaged and she was back wearing her make-up. I always wondering if he had insisted on seeing the real her before he would propose. I found your comment about fathers interesting. My father abandoned us when I was a little girl, so I never had that close relationship and it did leave me prone to making mistakes in the men I choose to have in my life.
My husband of over 30 years told me what attracted him was the fact that I lived independently, financially self supported, worked full time. So romantic!
That only means you'll do most of the housework for him, pay the restaurant, that he won't have to pay for you and that you will cope alone in adversity. Very romantic indeed.
@@joycewright5386 When what, starts ? You have a definition of romantism I call materialism that's all. And standing a long time together does not mean you love each other, as it is not hard to keep a man, even some of the ugliest ones manage to do so.
I have only been married to my hubby for 50 years +. We did not have social media when we met. We talked about everything. We agreed on some stuff and disagreed about other things. That was ok. We had lots in common although we came from different backgrounds. We were young and still had a lot to learn. We grew together, faced so much together even though his job took him away for long periods of time. We had some difficult times but throughout our lives we have supported each other. Our children are grown and we are grandparents now. I don't think any of what you have detailed was ever considered. We fell in love.
I have these traits you describe, and I had found the king of my heart. We were going to get married next May, but I lost him this January 😔🖤 He did tell me that the reason why he insisted on our relationship, approaching me as a close friend first 4 years ago, was because he saw beauty in my authenticity. I loved him as a person even before we became a couple. My soul fell in love with his soul 🖤🖤 He taught me many things about life, apart from how to live without him by my side 😔🖤 Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It is only sad to observe the modern world and realize that people pay attention to temporary pleasure, wasting themselves and avoiding to let themselves love wholeheartedly.
I did not have a loving father growing up, It wasn't until I was born again (true Christian) that I began to know the Father in the Bible. He began to show me such great love and mercy, a love I'd never known or comprehended before. He is so good. He led me into celibacy 7yrs ago. He has been teaching me to submit to His ways, and where I hated men before, or disregarded them, now I have begun to appreciate their beauty and strength, most of all I know my Father is teaching me to love and submit to Him, and if He marries me off one day to a man of His choice, I will be able to love that man more fully in a healthy way. Repent of your sins and follow Jesus Christ, His love is the greatest of all.
Was trying to do my make-up glam for a wedding. Following a tutorial and took a class from a makeup artist back home. My man saw me in the hotel finishing my make-up. And laughed. Totally killed my confidence. Hid my tears.
Other than the make-up women notice men for the same things. Instead of make-up women pay attention to whether or not men are a slob or if they put effort into their grooming. Women, however, tend to judge men less harshly than men judge women.
Not true. Women judge EVERYONE's physique more harshly, both men and women. They don't spend all their time looking at themselves in the mirror, taking selfies and so on for nothing.
@@mayodog1591 Men and women are motivated by different biological impulses. This leads the genders to value specific things over others, and they are not the same. In general men and women will judge other's appearance certainly, but men place more importance and value on the appearance of potential mates than women.
@@DanteVelasquez Dude, I understand se**al dimorphism lol, and I still disagree with you (respectfully, of course). This is the only thing you need to understand about this topic: men compete, women choose. Period. And this doesn't just apply to humans. Men are not more visual than women, that's an oversimplification. The average man values a woman's looks more than anything, sure, but *only in comparison to everything else the woman has to offer.* Meaning: a man will want a woman who's at least a 5 physically (or higher), even if she's below a 5 in several other areas. The "biological explanation" for this is that a man doesn't really need a woman for anything other than reproduction. Women value EVERYTHING more than men, INCLUDING looks. Meaning: a woman wants a man who's at least a 6-7 or higher in everything (looks, and that includes height; social status; charisma... and so on). The "biological explanation" for this difference is that reproduction is more costly for women (they get pregnant for 9 months and, when that happens, they're vulnerable; unlike men, who can reproduce recklessly several times a day with no problems), and that's why it makes absolute biological sense for women to be pickier than men across the board... and they are.
Ladies, he is telling us how men view us but it doesn’t mean we have to conform to their idea just how men don’t always conform to a woman’s idea of a man. There will always be differences. They don’t want us to wear too much makeup because they don’t want their woman to gain attention among other men. Have your own beauty standards, don’t settle for less and always look your best❤ you don’t have to tone down your makeup for a man.
No. Men don't like lots of make up because it looks, smells, tastes awful. Be fun, confident, and in good physical condition to make me more interested in getting to know you. Beauty emanates from within. Fake-up is a repellent.
So basically, I have to change every part of me just so a guy can like me? If I wear make up, it's not good enough. If I don't wear make up, then I don't put in effort. If I tell him how I feel and that I am stressed and depressed the guy will think I can't handle life? I'm sorry, but I don't live a laddy dah life which makes me positive and pretty. I live in a toxic world with toxic people and if I can't confide in my partner or be my natural self, what is the point of being in a relationship?
I feel a lot of resentment in your words. I hope you're doing well dear. If you believe the world is toxic, you will only see toxicity in people. Have a great day.
There's literally NO POINT... Be in a loving relationship with YOURSELF, that's enough...❤❤❤ The vast majority of men are narcissists, they try to test you in order to know how easily you can be manipulated... 😳🙈 DECENTER men and start centering YOURSELF... 🙏🤗🍀🍀
You sound like me!! 😂 I feel exactly the same frustration! And it's amplified, every time I listen to any of these advisory "experts." All men want are trophies. Young faces with thin bodies, & monster boobs. Oh and who've never had sex, but are suddenly Triple X material after one date with them! The only men I'm thinking about now are which ones to do cosmetic surgery with. 😝😜🤗🫠
The part where he talks about makeup is actually true. Girls, you can take this advice (about makeup) fearlessly. This part is very true. Tried and tested time and time again. Best of luck, girl friends! 💟
I avoid gossiping because it troubles me. I have not social media accounts; I opt for a modest nude lipstick; my smile serves as my makeup. Yes, the relationship with the father as a significant influence on women’s thinking about men. In crucial moments, I look in the right direction to find the solution. Life is full of challenging moments which reshape us or specially designed to come our way to redirect us from a possible wrong path. Thank you for the 7 secrets 😊
I don’t gossip. I hate it people who gossip about others. I also don’t post everything in my social media or Facebook,instagram. I’m a woman but I don’t used deodorant ever since. I don’t have bad smell like onions ✌️ About make up , I can go out to superstore or mall without make up. I also want to show my natural look. Not the temporary look. I want a man to like me in my natural looks. I’m my father’s loving daughter . And my father is my encouraging to fulfill all my dreams. He also my good adviser. Because of my father, that’s who I am today. Thank God for giving me a loving and caring father. If disappointment comes , just breathe and think that God has a purpose in everything. That’s how I handle disappointment in my life.
I agree with you! I have never been comfortable around gossip. Don’t like a lot of makeup either, it feels like mud on my face. I can’t stand social media except TH-cam and Instagram posts, but don’t have personal accounts on any of them. I prefer personal interactions with people from all walks of life, and don’t give a shit if I’m different than everyone else, I don’t like the continuous scams, trolls and hacks on all those platforms. I’ve got better things to do than spend most of my life looking at my phone. I think it’s rude if you’re talking to someone and they’re more focused on their phone than the conversation. I usually ditch those kind of people.
If you have good habits, you work hard and you are honest with yourself and not betray others, that’s all counts, I won’t change anything about me for anyone, leave alone a man…
I wish I had heard this kind of advice when I was a young woman - I wouldn't have wasted my time seeking bare minimum attention because I thought that was “enough”... You are a wise young man and what a blessing you are to women you need to hear the truth! God bless you young man, and the lucky woman who will be smart enough to appreciate you and your intelligence, compassion, and thoughtfulness! 👍👍👍
0:16 they lost interest because I/we don’t sleep with random guys I/we just met. I don’t kiss random guys I just met. So it sounds like a them problem. 😂
I was married for 24 years before my husband passed. I think your advice is 100% correct. We can change everything about us but our hearts. People see the real you.
Well that's been promised too. "New heart and new mind". I needed both. 1 w^r, peace with God, and a serious self look... looked good on outside but a failure. Once at the bottom, time to build up.
Boy, what a misconception a man can have who thinks that the way I talk about my father is how I see all the other men in my life😄! I have never seen or met as honourable, dignified, kind and loving man in my life as my father was. I certainly don't see other men like him.
@@CocoisagordonsetterYou are right. I do have high standards, but my parents' marriage was so harmonious and loving that I had no idea toxic relationships and manipulative behaviour existed. It took a while to recognize that. I grew up thinking that all marriages were as loving and caring as my family.
Yeah, that's the problem. No man is ever going to be good enough for you. There are some wonderful men out there. You've described my father too but I seen men like him all the time. Most are married but I have hope there is a widower among them and I still have a chance for a rightly ordered marriage after one annulment and one dying.
@@tinalettieri I only talked about my own dear father. I certainly didn't describe anyone else's. I have nothing to reproach or blame, nothing to accept or "try to understand" about my parents. They have been the best part of my life and I'm happy that I was lucky enough to grow up as a child of the soulmates. They were a team -- the best one. I have always been loved, always felt their love towards me, my sisters and each other.
Oh, don't worry about it! This is just an inverted "knowledge" of "what women notice in a man", i.e. how a man talks about his mother. Men don't really judge a woman by how she talks about her father. It would be absurd to admire or praise, for example, a father who was a drunkard, neglected his family and drank himself to death😂.
@@ojala5555 They judge by how she describes the relationship and how she has handled any negatives. Everyone is flawed, even our beloved fathers. But I try to understand, forgive him his sins and accept the love he had for me. Thus when I speak of him, I only speak well and in praise of his many good points. The weaknesses can't hurt me anymore.
@@tinalettieri No, they don't. I haven't talked to any man about my parents' marriage, especially about my father or their relationship, because NO ONE MAN has asked about it. There are completely different things that motivate men to be interested in women. This is only womanly trait to ask men about their mother and the relationship between them. Men, on the contrary, have told me they don't want to know about other people of the same gender in my life as themselves, including my father, because they feel unnecessary competition when they were good, and too much trouble when they were not.
Do the work it takes to heal. Don't put your broken self on a man, men are not made to deal with that it's just not how things work. Get therapy, study things online, read things, work on yourself because nobody who isn't reasonably whole to a decent percentage 70/80 percent so at least, needs to get in a relationship is not your psychotherapist doctor mommy daddy big brother or girlfriend. I'm a woman so I know. I've had to walk the same path myself! Do the work! Men shouldn't get to have a relationship until they straighten out their broken cells to a good degree as well, we're not their healers mamas therapist or doctors either. In order to have a relationship, two people need to be reasonably hole, and veterans of working on themselves if they're damaged. And you don't have to be old to do it, just get going and get the work done. Make yourself whole enough to be a good partner, be responsible for you. And stop feeling sorry for yourself. Having a relationship is not a commodity in life. It is an extra thing even though we think of it as something we de facto deserve. It's not. You have to earn it and become the kind of person who can be in a relationship because a relationship is work! If you can't do the work on yourself, you're not ready for a relationship I don't care how old you are. I'm old. I've had to learn all this. You can too.
At age 63 I found a Christian husband in church. I was married 19 years, single for 19 years, working helping with my grandchildren ,not interested in any dating, I was content. But God had other plans Across the aisle was a wonderful Christian divorced Christian man, who also was not interested in a relationship. Long story , Good Lord willing we will celebrate our 5th anniversary this June
If he was divorced, it’s unlikely God put you two together, unless she cheated and he left because she cheated. Otherwise, for him to marry you is adultery. You shouldn’t get a divorce, but both of you should repent.
@@IamParalegal I was divorced too. My spouse cheated as did his. We both are Born-Again Believers , saved by Jesus dying on the cross for us and being tisen again. God does allow for divorce in His Bible because He knows mans nature. We were both raised in a denomination where they think a priest can give you penance and that he can firgive you of your sins and that Mary is an intercessor on footing or even abouve Jesus. These are nothing but man made rules. Mary was like every other human born on Earth, a sinner in need if a savior. She was used to give birth to our Savior. We do not follow man made rules or denominations. We have a relationship with Jesus who saved us
In my 30s I thought what right do I have in depriving a God loving fearing woman of a loving Yah fearing man? "No good for man to be alone." The rest is history 29 yrs ago.
I ALWAYS attract with my intelligence and wit. I don’t focus on physical appearance because looks fade. All guys have told me that I’m not like other women. I don’t cause drama and I’m always honest and blunt. Men like honesty. Women play too many mind games and expect men to know how they feel and what they think. They don’t! Men are simple. Don’t play mind games and tell them what you want. Period.
I agree that a woman who had/has a good relationship with her father tends to attract better relationships with men and the same goes for men who have good relationships with their mother. Still, some parents are abusive or neglectful and that's not our fault if we don't have a good relationship with them. However I've learned that part of maturing is healing from those issues with our parents and come to a point where we can understand why they were/are the way they are, and be able to move on to healthier relationships.
I am me... I am my true self...I am not waiting..surching...fishing on a partner...to me authentic friends are important... either somebody loves me or they do not. 😉😊
I really liked this video. As one who didn't have the attention of my father, I went through some bad relationships. I tried to see them as lessons. My latest relationship was a man who showed me how I should be treated. He loved me and I loved him. He set a new standard for me. He passed away almost three years ago, and I've stayed single since. I now know my worth. I will wait for the man with whom I can have a healthy relationship. Until then, I'm happy being single. Thank you for this video.
Love is two sided. Just like "Give respect and get respect " Give love and get love. Understanding each other's means, abilities, needs and hobbies are very important. Care for each other, sharing not only what we have but daily happenings too, each one has an unique character. Understanding and bearing with one another's shortcomings is very important. If you are good parents not greedy after money or cheating each other, then our children also will be good both in character and helping others.
Very interesting about the father daughter relationship…I adored my father as a little girl, craved his attention and affection..he didn’t know how to respond I don’t think ..bought up by Victorian parents . And yes ..I believe I’ve previously accepted ‘lack ‘ from my choices . Thank you ..this is an education 😊
Haha! I know exactly what men notice about me. The man I eventually married was the only man I dated that knew the color of my eyes after the first date.
Ladies be very careful, men who notice these things tend to be very judgmental. And who the hell are you to judge anyone? We are all human and we have human flaws. Trust me from my life experience, the right men DO NOT CARE! If he truly loves you, you can do whatever you want and if you want do change yourself or habits, do it for you, not him.
It is not judgement. It's choosing a woman who is pleasant to you. If a man uses tobacco,consumes alcohol and has poor hygiene not just any woman is gonna want him. So,if a woman cakes on make-up, wears an unpleasant perfume and eats like a slaughter hog then not any man is gonna spend his life with her just because he loves her.
Here here, he describes a whitewashed idealised boring prude who allows a man to control her social life (friends, social media, reactions, family) or a female Buddha. But men , being the gatekeepers of relationships, do. like to play God don't they?
Well, the jokes on you. I am not on social media - except TH-cam which really isn't all that social. My father is dead, so there isn't much of a relationship there anymore. A woman's relationship with her parents in general, is an unfair judgement. Perhaps there was abuse, poverty, drug use. Men need to think about the person before them and not be so worried about the past. And, a lot of men gossip worse than women. Men notice the physical thing first. Period. The rest MIGHT come later. If a woman isn't pretty in his eyes, he isn't going to bother to get to know who she is unless they have a lot contact naturally (work, social circle).
Yes I think looks has a lot to do with if you're lucky in love and in life. It's the first thing people notice is how attractive you are. Ugly or unattractive people get less dates if any, gets teased/bullied at school, have lower paying jobs, are not likely to achieve or get promoted, are way less popular, have fewer friends, which in turn all these negative things plays a huge impact on their self worth and esteem, which impacts their ability to interact with others and how they see themselves. It's a vicious cycle.
Known fact observable, Beta/ simp gossip. 1st thing I saw in my wife. Her face... big eyes (good eye contact), genuine smile, and her lovely acorn haircut and that I had to look up. My thought, "Always wanted a woman I could look up to." Not her breast. Not her butt. Next her smarts, wow could she express her thoughts. I could listen to her for hours on end. I watch a short this morning, "Touch the part you like most". The guy place his hands on her head going down to her feet ftom, back and her hands, all of her. He got itbright
Ignore the haters,Ismael. I know I am not your target audience, but a 50 year marriage to a great guy gives me some authority here. You are 100% correct on all, except one. Again, my personal experience with a biological father who abandoned my mom with two young kids, and who was an emotional abuser, adulterer and criminal-in other words no loving male to look up to. But my Catholic faith and my strong Sicilian mother were my moral compass. I survived. I thrived. My life is blessed. If it was possible for me, it’s possible for other women, too. Again, excellent video, Ismael.
Personally, I hate pretence. How long will I continue to pretend in order to please a man ?😅 Pls, I like being myself and can't afford to keep pretending just to appear perfect
Wow, out of all of the relationship advice videos I’ve ever watched. This one is hands down the most on point & honest. There are a few areas I can definitely apply this advice. The parts I have down made me smile. Thank you so much for providing honest awareness.
This is interesting and confirms what my husband has been telling me all these years. I thought he was nuts for liking me without makeup better than with even though I don’t wear much.
When I was 18, I asked my boyfriend how I looked as we were getting ready to go out ... he replied, "Don't worry, no-one's going to look at you, anyway." Almost forty years on and I hardly even look in a mirror because I can still hear those words ...
Fuck that guy, seriously. You are a grown woman. There is no reason that CHILD and his inane bs should still be affecting you. You are WAY better than that.
You don't say whether you married him or not, but oh God, I hope you ditched that vile piece of s.....t. straight away. At 18 there were plenty more out there, you did not need to keep that obnoxious pimple around.
Do Not continue to allow another person’s incorrect opinion to shadow your life any longer! Let that shit go! It was just someone being rude & inconsiderate but should Not be taking up space in your brain any longer
I’m 61 years old and have been with my husband, married for 29 years. The MOST IMPORTANT thing a person must look for in a mate is DO THEY LOVE GOD ? If so your chances are very good that that will be kind, respectful, patient and a person who places their family high on their priorities.
I agree completely! I’m 63 and my husband said that one of the most compelling things about me was that I would love God even more than I would love him and that I wanted the same from my husband. My husband is a wonderful, virtuous man and a great example of what a good husband is!
@@gretchensharpe827 I made the the mistake to tell her to chose between God and me... oops. I realized "my bad", I knew as soon as it came out of my mouth. That was 29yrs ago.
I understand what you’re saying. Those are all things to strive for. In my 69 year old opinion. I prefer living alone. I don’t need someone to ‘complete me’. If I offend someone with my wavy, curly messy hair…..I don’t care. Thank you for telling us. 😊
I’m just working on being myself. Really finding my passions , finding what lights me up and makes me smile. I agree with the father thing. I had a very abusive father and it caused a lot of insecurity in relationships. Now I am healing I’m ready for a man to really love me.
Oh, the father one is HUGE! My dad was like an angel. He truly loved me. They say women should look at how a man interacts with his mom. Totally agree.
Yes! I dropped a 30yr friendship for gossip#1. I warned her & warned her about it. She also wouldn't take seriously things I said to her. I thought about it very hard. I actually dropped 5 old " friends" at once. The gossip female included. So happy I did this!!! 3 females & 2 males.
When I first began dating my future husband, most of my friends advised against it. The more they talked bad about him, the more I wanted to date him and find out for myself. Even some of HIS friends said not to! We were both just 17. We married at 20 and it was a great 30 year marriage til death did we part. Take people's advice under advisement but find out for yourself. You may be surprised.
As a woman, I agree with all of this except blaming adult women for what they suffered as children. Their having been victimized does not equate to a broken person. The women (and men) friends I have who were abused as kids are far more kind than the women and men who were coddled and pampered and taught the sun rose and set on them. They, are the mean ones. It’s awful that armchair psychologists victimize the victims. It is never the fault of the child that their parent mistreated them. For people to paint these kids all the way through their adult lives with a negative brush is disgusting.
My husband noticed I wasn't fat. His friends always hooked him up with fat women. He also noted I worked two jobs in a bad economy. Many of his other dates had no jobs. They were looking for a man to support them. This is what he told me. We've been married almost 33 years.
Am 78. Did enjoy your chat. 28 years married and after divorce another relationship. Am now alone and happy to be so. I do however have 2 wonderfull children and will always be grateful to my husband for them.
my father left my mother when I was 2, literally walked out the door never to be seen again so I grew up without a father, well it didn’t damage me, I had a perfectly fine upbringing and never had a problem with relationships with men, I have been married to my wonderful husband for the last 23 years, who is a great father to our daughter.
Hi Ismael, what you said about guys noticing if a girl has a good or bad relationship with her father was very interesting. Please make a video that goes more in depth about that topic. There are many of us who grew up with abusive or absent fathers. How should we tell our partner that information without them using it against us because they know we don’t have a male role model who set high standards for us to find in a partner? Should we tell them the truth or should we lie about it? Can you share tips on how we can be a high value woman and find a high value man when we have a very abusive father and toxic family.
After having cancer, I could give a rats ass on the little shyt. I also still cry when anyone mentions my mom or dad, I miss them so much. Relationships are too much work and not worth my energy. Sorry, I just relish my single life.
Disappointment - So if I we back from a trip overseas. And my fiancé decided to sleep with one of my hangout buddies. I understood she didn't want didn't want "just me". Though a messed up way of communicating, I got the message. I forgave them both, broke the engagement, and was done with the guy too. So then again guys didn't care for a woman until I did. So I did the reset and "lone wolfed" it.... I solace in being by myself cycling , swimming, dining by myself (I enjoy good food). I still kept the hope (held on for "something better", "something more", I wanted it all in the human experience of life). The "foil" did not care to probe my spiritual, historical, biographical, etc depth. Ex.: "wrong woman" over and over again, they didn't go beyond my body. The shoe was on the other foot. I felt like a sandwich. My wife is very edu., well articulated, and a most lovely embassador for women.
My ex had a bar. It was low. M y young mind could understand. I felt confident in my decisions as a young woman. No alcoholic was my goal in a husband. Not knowing I had set the bar pretty low. Good place to start, not stop. You seem very wise. I look forward to watching your videos. Thank you.
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I'm a fan,I'm subscribed your channel,it's good to know information about opposite relationship,it gives me more information to help my straight friends
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😂
I dont care a fuck what men noticed.
Man doesnt deserve much atention.
At My age.. 70.. here is my advice..., Find someone who has the same interest as Yourself.., Someone who does not Drink.nor use Drugs.., Some one who works. Full time.., Someone who is able to Take care of their Self..., Someone that is Fairly content.. and Kind-hearted..! If You find that.. You have found a possible mate. GOOD LUCK..BLESSINGS TO U BOTH...!
True❤
Amen❤
I’m 61 and I totally agree with you 100%
This is the truth in a nutshell
🥰
The best advice I ever got was this: "Pay attention to how a man speaks to and treats his mother for that is exactly how he will treat you!" At 64, I've learned it's the truth!
I agree with you. My husband treated his mother well. He treated me the same. I lost him in March of 2023. No one can take his place.
@@reginabyers5378Absolutely spot on. I wish I had known that years ago.
Have to disagree here, because this is not always true. U got blessed, many are not in the same boat as you 😔
I tell my nieces - pay attention to how they treat their mothers & their sisters (if they have any). I also tell them to pay attention to how they treat kids & how they are around babies. It says a lot.
Not true my ex seemed amazing to his mother, and that’s what impressed me so much to date him. Turns out it was all an act when we moved into our own place. He became extremely physically and mentally abusive. I never saw it coming or expected it the first time he knocked me out I was in shock.
I met my husband of nearly 42 years on a blind date that neither of us wanted or needed. Our mutual friend kept pushing until we both said okay, I’ll do it to make you happy! I was 32 yo, 5’7”, slim, busty, natural long dark hair, nice skin. What impressed my husband most was my long, painted natural fingernails that I took care of myself. I was past 40 before I had a professional manicure, but I did my own nails well! He told me that he felt like a woman who took care of her nails took good care of herself. I lost him 15 months ago after all those years of being so in love, combining families of our four teenage girls and my one ADHD son. We had plenty of challenges, but made it through them all because our love was so strong until our last moment. As terribly as I miss him, I’m so grateful for what we had.
You sound like 41 yrs with a wonderful man and the major feeling I have had since he passed away a year and a half agohas been of a deep sense of gratitude and thankfulness, I mourned him, of course, BUT I realized how lucky I was while he was still alive....there was not one day I didnt tell him how much loved him....we made all our dreams come true together...
Thank you for sharing such personal feelings and memories
God strengthen you and comfort you each moment you need it. 🙏
You are very fortunate to have married a wise man and enjoyed a long and beautiful marriage. It takes two to make if work. 💫✨❤️✨💫
I take care of myself but the nails break from autoimmune. Guess I’ll never find the one. 😂😂
1. I never gossip
2. I'm not on social media
3. I take a shower every day, I brush my teeth and floss and go dentist regularly and I always smell nice
4. I almost never wear makeup
5. I have nice female friends who I know in past few years and they always advise me what's best
6. Both my parents are lovely and obviously my dad is nice
7. And I'm good with emotions and I recognise my emotions and admit my emotions.
+
I'm low mentenance and good with finances, and I bought my own house
+ I respect and adore men
Guess what, I'm single and looking in past 3 years 🤦♀️😂😂
😂😂😅！Good luck to you!
Men are attracted to and look for sexy women. They love classy looking fashionable women. Curves are a must but not overweight. They are visual. It really helps if you're not very bright bc they're intimidated by educated professional women.
The problem here is : you don't need saving. My independence was always a snag with guys. Other women I knew via family or friend or acquaintance that had a mental disorder, alcohol problem, drug problem, or couldn't manage money, all attracted men like flies to honey. But I'd rather be single than with a man who can't accept a woman who isn't needy but balance in life. Yeah, I'm single 😅
@@franwebb7756
I’ve noticed that men seem to prefer women who are “broken” or messed up in some way, which, frankly, is creepy to me.
…but the women who have their lives together, men are terrified of us.
Make it make sense.
😂🙃👸🏻
@@ExoticalT369Men need to be needed.
My husband and I met 34 yrs ago. We instantly felt like we were home when we went on our first date. It was the sign we knew we didn't want that to end. It wasn't fire works and butterflies. It was calm, centered, like 2 pieces of puzzle connecting together so naturally.
So beautiful!! God has truly blessed you both!! ❤❤
Butterflies and fireworks aren't good signs. The calm contentedness you had is the best.
Shit I got both contentment at home with my puzzle piece BUT we make fucking 🔥🔥🔥
That's beautiful!! I want that! ❤
So beautiful. I had exactly that too. A blind date, my first date at the age of 25. The second date he took me out to the countryside to a little old fashioned pub with a roaring fire. Even though I was being driven down these dark quiet country lanes by a man I knew little about, I sensed nothing would happen to me. I felt safe and secure. That night we talked for hours, we had the same life values. Everything just clicked for us. We were engaged a month later and married the next year. Life had its ups and downs but we survived together. Mutual respect and a shared sense of humour helps. We had 32 years of marriage together. He died two years ago. I lost my best friend and my soul mate. Life is very lonely now. I miss him. I also miss male company and conversation.
Those who gossip to you, gossip about you. Never forget that
I stay away from people that gossip, I dislike it so much! I have and grew up with several good girl friends and never gossiped.
So true. I noticed that as a child. Maybe that's why I had very few friends.
100%
True!
A narc trait !
As a happily married woman, I watched your video out of curiosity for what these noticeable traits were. It all sounds good but please know that there is one thing outside the control of a woman. That is her relationship with her father. Mine was verbally and physically abusive to me, my mother, and my 4 siblings. It is very hard for me to say anything nice about him. So what did it do to me? It made me incredibly independent and strong and very defensive. Fortunately my husband understands this about me and will give me gentle reminders he is not my father. Indeed he is not. As for what I would like to recommend to all people when searching for a partner, look for someone with a similar intellect and sense of humor. It is a winning combination.
YES!
You are the BEST!
I can totally relate to your experience, because I went through almost the same experience. But it has not caused for me to label all men, because there are some good men out there. It indeed just takes the right man to love an understand you. Not having had the best relationship with your dad, does not mean that as a woman you are doomed and can never find true love.
We took it to the next level.
Studied personality types, identified our gifts (individually and skill set).
It's been a fun relationship. We get to be what our parents were not and the grandparents we always wanted to be.
@@raissavanvarsseveld6488
You are 100% correct
My wife and I were with the "wrong man" and I "wrong woman", until we met.
Two researcher types makes for a fun relationship. Yes, she still my bride of 29yrs.
The thing is I'm myself and will continue to be myself , I'm not altering myself for a man . The right man FOR ME will be happy with the real me.
That's honorable, but not practical. As a man, I WANT to be the best I can be for someone, and that means I may need to change myself a bit. I will need to be healthier, less lazy, more caring, more willing to sacrifice my time for that person. If you are not willing to do that, you may miss out.
@@theeclectic2919 the men I changed myself for always left me the man i.didnt change myself for im.now happily married to
@@theeclectic2919 Would you change yourself for a woman? Not to mention she is talking about her base self. in a good relationship, everyone changes some. It when there is an expectation that one party changes a lot to 'please' the other party that is unhealthy. If you want to best the best man you can be , you don't need a woman in your life to so that.
@@gusmonster59 No. I'm talking about changing yourself BEFORE you find the right one for you. If you can make yourself better before you meet the right person, you should be able to maintain that for life. The original poster said, "The right man FOR ME will be happy with the real me." Whatever you are at anytime is the real you. Why can't the real you be a better person that YOU created?
This is clearly an argument of semantics. It is reasonable to change yourself in healthy ways for a partner, and sometimes to compromise on important things you have different perspectives on. So, yes, it's good to gossip less, have good self care and avoid toxic chemical fragrances.
It is not ok to change who you are,. So say you love having pets and you meet someone that would prefer you didn't have dogs, it's probably better to move on than change yourself. Or you're into astrology, or are religious and meet someone who doesn't share your values or is dismissive of your interests, in those situations you should not change.
The best advice I ever got was from my grandmother. She told me to never trust a man that doesn't like cats (I don't remember her ever having a cat). Her reason was simple and made so much sense. She said men usually don't like cats because they can't control them. And controlling men are not good partners.
🎉👏🙏❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
That's a very good observation. You can tell dogs to sit, stay or what have you and dogs will be more than happy to comply. Most men are control freaks and they don't even have control of there own lives and them selves.
My ex hated my cat. That's one of the biggest reasons he's now my ex. I will never go out with a guy who doesn't like cats again. To me it shows a big personality flaw and your explanation has made me understand this even better.
I thought it was hilarious and very telling that cats, in general, did not like my ex (who didn't like them) and I noticed that cats almost always went out of their way to pester him. It made all kinds of sense to me.
💯👏👏👏
Just be yourself. A man who chooses you will love you regardless of how much makeup you wear or how you smell.
Also, advice from others is great, but you should find love on your own. You know in your gut what feels right, especially the older you get. Don't share your journey with anyone else, as even people who know you well will not share the same perspective as you. This video is great, but when it comes to love, there are no rules.
Well said!!❤
I just needed someone to say this. 100%
It's nice to know that us daughters who were abandoned or abused by our fathers are forever doomed to be damaged goods and are not worthy of a healthy relationship. Continuing to victimize the victim
Edit: I'd like to address the quick assumptions of many of the comments. I'm in the process of healing. Our family has suffered alot of grief and trauma, I am 1 of 5 children, 2 of us are now passed and 2 are suffering severe mental illness and addiction I am the only one of 5 who has done the work through therapy and healing, I am successful, actively working on myself everyday, I don't engage in distructive activities ( dont drink or use substances) I have a strong support of people who have been there as family to me. So to all the "Dr. Phil's" on this feed, maybe do a little self reflection of your own before you break out your internet psychology degrees. I'm sick of people painting people who had a hard life with a negative brush because some of us are winning wars, you couldn't survive witnessing, let alone fight in.
Well, sad but true, which is why a loving father is so important. Children are healthier when they have both parents but it doesn't always happen. I did not have that. No father and a narcissistic mother that left me damaged all my life with CPTSD. Then we are sentenced to healing ourself for the rest of our lives. One thing I learned, it's best not to label yourself a victim. Life is hard but if one works on their healing they will attract likeminded.
No, you are not doomed for this. Just don't victimize yourself and don't believe every kind of crap! Learn to distinguish between nonsense and sense!
That’s not what he said, he was actually very correct he didn’t say you can’t be in a relationship but let’s be honest, if you have a terrible father you do see men through that lens and the bar is set very low, you don’t have much expectation of him because you were already trained to live in one sided relationships where you are subconsciously seeking his approval which makes you a target for very toxic men. If you understand this in yourself and heal that, it’s a different story but emotionally intelligent men can see from a mile away if a woman has been abused. The can see it, they do not need to ask but the right man will help you if your not toxic because of it. No man with any integrity wants to be with a woman who has no emotional regulation or maturity, who yells and behaves irrationally just because someone else hurt you and no one should ever have to deal with that. If you don’t heal yourself before entering into a relationship you will bleed all over someone who didn’t cut you. No man should ever have to deal with being abused because someone abused you.
@@christinestone391 You CAN heal! I have done it. I had a great relationship with my dad but my psychopathic mother got to the point where she had to destroy him because she was jealous. She succeeded when I was 14 and I have suffered CPTSD too. It took me until I was 73 to figure out what was wrong but I have.Mercifully, the last narc in my life died, 3+ years ago so I have been free and healing much faster. I also have refound Faith. I don't want to be specific because you have free will which faith to follow or none, but I strongly advise getting on a spiritual track if you aren't already.
Nobody's victimizing the victim, it's up to the victim to do the work to get healed and whole. Instead of putting your broken self on a man, men are not nature to be able to handle that. That's not the way things are or the way things work. Do your work! It's not blame it's just the way things work. We have to live life as it is and not as we wish it would be. And I'm one of these women you're talking about so I know.
You triggered my emotions just by one sentence about how the connection with your father was. Mine has passed away and he was so awesome. He was the kind of man who, when i visited my parents went outside in the snow without saying anything and when i went home i saw that he has cleaned the car Windows from snow and ice just so that i would have a safe drive home, i forgot it but that,s one for you guys to remember, if you want to impress a woman make her feel safe and nurtured...
Yes and this makes a good woman more feminine calm easy to be around enjoyable and able to serve & pamper her man! As a woman vote Yes on your comment!
Yes
I love your dad and I don't even know him. Take notes, fellas!🥰
Beautiful, this is great
That's the sweetest thing I've ever read. God bless your father
Women notice:1) how much a man talks about himself. 2) how many times he looks at his phone 3)his smell 4) how he dresses and how he is groomed, including if he takes care of his teeth and body 5)his relationship with his mother and how he views women in general 6) his employment record, is he lazy ..not is he rich..but will she end up having to support him 7) how critical he is 8) does he look at other women while she is with him. BTW, a smart girl will have her best friend come onto him to see if he will jump ship
😂😂😂😂😂❤
No don't play games
Let's not forget fingernails. Nothing more disgusting than a man who bites his nails
All except for the girlfriend. Never trust any female around your man.
@@cynthiacrawford6147 .. exactly .. it might bite ya in the ass 😯😂
I’m 78… find one that’s still alive first
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🇦🇺🥰
Hahahaha
😅😂
😂😂😂
Thats right!
I adored my father. He made me feel loved and safe. I always wanted to please him and make him happy.
Women should also pay attention about how men talk about their parents, especially their moms because that's what they are looking after.
I'd also add how he speaks about his father because that influences the way he treats women as well.
He treated his mother like shit and I took over the mantel
I had a Housemate recently, who is totally dedicated to his mom, and he is a true mama’s boy. Talks to her every day, adores her, loves her, and, what’s more is that he’s been single forever. Why? Because mommy needs to come first. His mommy tells him who he can marry. This is true. And, the guy’s in his 30s, PLUS, has a serious defiance disorder because his mama is a control freak. So watch for the red flags. If too involved with mommy that is a big one.
@@janetpattison8474
Sounds kind of narcissistic to me or at least not a real mature men...a mommy's boy. Boring and dangerous.
Hi Ismael! I clicked on your video merely out of curiosity as Hubby and I will be celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary this coming August. I completely agree with w hay you have listed here with a caveat about parents. Not all people who creat a baby should be parents, and in that case I assert that how a prospective partner treats everyone should provide that information.
I would also add one more thing to the list. How easily conversation flows between you is a HUGE indicator. We have spent so many hours just yakking about anything and everything under the sun and have since we were set up on a surprise blind date 42 years ago. Because of this we have a deep and intimate understanding of each other. This was extremely helpful raising our three children as we knew without argument if the topic was ‘a hill the other would die on’, so what’s the point of arguing?
This from a guy who says he’s been in love several times. Also, there’s way way way way way more things men notice. Lastly, there are other factors in a relationship that are way way way way more important such as common interests, religion, vibes, proper communication, and more.
I'm not a man but I also think that men notice many other things
Agree with this 💯 Percent.
He said 7, not all.
I think he was talking about start up thinking. Your comment is true but when it is long term
He is probably just joking😉
1: Gossip (do you gossip)
2:Your Social Media
3: Your Smell
4: Your Makeup
5: Your Friends
6: Relationship With Your Father
7: Handling Disappointment
1. I don’t gossip.
2. I don’t have social media.
3. I don’t wear perfume but some say I smell good.
4. I don’t make up.
5. I don’t have any.
6. I don’t have a real relationship with my father.
7. I handle dissapoinment with OK, I’ll do it myself.
Not wear perfume 😮
With the smell, was he saying a distinct good scent was a plus, too much is no good, or both?
@@michelemoneywell8765go to macys if you have one. And smell estee lauder “pleasures” fkora never smelt so classy and smooth
@@michelemoneywell8765Are u actually taking notes with this? Present as YOU! Have your own agenda in what YOU'D like. The right man will love u as u are! (Unless u'r smelly 😂 jk)
The comment about love from your father really hit the target for me. My father loved my brother he tolerated me, I was nothing to hide, he never told me he loved me and now I see that is what I've wanted my whole life! And I accepted any love I was given because that was what I was groomed to accept.
💃💅🏽Baby girl fall in love with yourself!! How much love have you given away to people who don't deserve it? *YOU* are an incredible, kind and sweet lady!! ❤️🫶 It's time to give to yourself what you gave away for too long! And if your dad is too silly to see it, that really is sad for HIM.
My dad was like yours, what a shame he too sexist to recognise a great person if it's a girl! Because baby, although I love my sons dearly, it's my daughters who pay attention to me and shower love, kindness and help!
Many women were lied to like we were, thinking boys validate our existence. But no, sweet child,,,,true love is EVERYTHING!!! Give it to yourself a while ❤❤
At 64, having been married over 2 decades, I can testify that much of what he says is true! I wish I had learned it earlier, but came from a disturbed home background with a very unusual father who was also abusive. So, I erred in many areas and it took me awhile and lots of heartache to figure things out. I’m still learning. And, tho he skipped #1 thing that all men notice: your physical appearance (sorry girls), he was correct about those interested in a serious relationship. Fortunately, however, each man looks for somewhat different things, and it’s good to assess yourself accurately both physically and as to character, as he suggested. My FAVORITE point was when he mentioned that if you flaunt the physical, you will attract that kind of man. The bait you use is the fish you catch. 🎣🐠🐡
Valid evaluation
AMEN!!! ❤
My father was the only person who ever loved me unconditionally. He was my favorite person. That is certainly NOT how I perceive ALL men.
And I... have the opposite dad and that’s also not how I see all men.
Wait... Are women capable of discernment AND outgrowing their childhood education?
Who knew? 😄
Yeah, he got this one wrong. But I will say, the most sensible girl I ever dated was the one who had the best relationship with her father. She didn't perceive all men to be like him, but I think she felt like the ideal man should be someone similar to him. I think the guy in the video was trying to say that women might occasionally compare other men to their father, but he did a poor job of getting that point across.
@@theeclectic2919 You sum things up sensibly, but I will add that the reason several people are triggered by that point is that it’s way too reductive. Psychology is more complex than that, for either men and women.
Obviously people who grew up in a safe, loving home with humane values are set up for emotional intelligence from the get-go, when others need to work on it. Which is the important factor that was thrown out the window here. The important question when you meet someone should indeed be: Have they worked out their history if needs be?
Besides, even if said person hadn’t worked on themselves and were still operating from an immature place, psychology is much more complex than ‘seeking a boyfriend that reminds her of dad’ just because they’re both men.
Sometimes we’re drawn to the opposite type. Sometimes we’re drawn to someone that subconsciously reminds us of our mother, or brother, or sister or aunt, or any person we grew up with. Gender doesn’t matter. Patterns do.
So yeah... the point he made on this was so reductive... it just makes me laugh that men would rely on crutches like this, thinking it will give them discernment. Way to watch the world with eyes wide shut.
My Dad…the most intelligent, funny, caring man I’ve ever known and the only man whoever got me! I miss him everyday!
Nobody will ever love you as much as your Dad! I heard that a lot growing up!
Oh please! I know men that gossip much more than women! This is very funny. Look at yourselves 😂
Especially the older they get. Sit around drinking coffee in thr morning and gossip. Then in the evening a beer and they gossip. My brother in law and husband do this and yet they claim we are gossiping. Usually we're eating dessert and talking about how good it is. 😋
Lol
Research Narcissists❗️
I failed, And Blew/flushed down the toilet over 18 years with a minion of ol' split foot hairy legs.......and Lost our child at age of 16 &1/2 years old, its been since Sept.2015 and my Soul Cries.
Seems like Narcissists are even more plentiful now in 2024😢
Waitresses know. Men gossip much more than women
My husband is a dump truck driver. Him and his friends are huge gossips!
I loved my dad dearly and he loved all five of us children. He treated our mom like a queen, despite the ups and downs. That is the kind of man I was married to for 48 years. Dad was a great example. So was my children’s dad. Both are now deceased. God bless them.
About point 1? You know men gossip as well.
Listening to my husbands male customers when they came to his shop, I can say they can be terrible gossips and bitchy too about each other. And, have nick names for everyone they know.
Yes... Beta/ simps gossip and redefine it to be communications.
Other males just talk or reserved/ guarded in speech.
I prefer productive dialogue.
Whoever commented here that "a strong-willed, confident and independent woman intimidates men" is absolutely right.
In a good way
Its not intimidation.
@@hermit1620
Kindly look up for the meaning of the word "intimidate" in a good dictionary.
@@khadeejaansari9860 I know what intimidation is, do you? There is not one woman in the world I'm intimidated by. The so called strong, independent woman is not intimidating, they want a simp and most real men are not simps so they avoid those types of women.
@@hermit1620
Ha ha, the fact that you are here trying to prove that you are not intimidated is in itself proof enough that you have been definitely intimidated, several times in your life, by several strong, confident and independent women. This time around - by me. 😄
My dad is 91 and I still love to do special things for him. He loves a special snack I make, and I keep him supplied, lol. He was always someone I could go to, has been a wonderful grandfather to my son, age 24, and they are best buddies. I am grateful for the father I have!
Blessings!!! ❤❤❤ this is awesome. And what a beautiful example and Gosh we need more men stepping up to the plate!
Lol... my father was a malignant narcissist who enjoyed seeing his children suffer. He used to tell me how useless I was and how anyone could do better than me. He used to be happy when I failed and did everything in his power in order for me to be miserable. Luckily, he's dead now. I love and respect men. I enjoy their company, I do not cheat, I find them extremely funny and interesting. I've been in a very happy relationship for two years now, so no... obvioulsy I don't agree.
I completely agreed with you and know exactly how you felt and feel 🩷
Btw, he also said that girls without father's love upbringing tend to accept breadcrumbs and think they only deserve little ...
My father's a narcissist as well! They are evil creatures!
Yes, my father was that way. The man I’m with is confusing because he doesn’t yell and get angry a lot. 🤷🏻♀️
My step father wanted my mother all to himself so i 100% understand where you are coming from...... the constant belittling !! I'm glad i have no one around me that forces me to seek their approval any more.... it was an impossible task for over 60 years. I feel sorry for my stifled mother..... her trying to keep him away from me, known as "keeping the peace", turned me into a narc magnet for decades...... i'm so grateful for my freedom now. I won't be worrying about any male relationships any time soon! I'd make a good man's life a misery by not trusting him....
Been there
Dad was miserable, controlling, manipulative, abusive…
I was broken, but I’m now whole in Christ. Getting ready to celebrate 25yrs of marriage
It’s not how you start, but how you finish. A broken past doesn’t have to dictate your future
It's not her fault if she didn't have normal childhood fr her father ... she forgave eventually and she move on and held her head high ❤
💯
Same here, remain Strong!!
Amen. Glad someone else feels like i do.
I can say with a fathers love, my dad was only "conditional" in the way he loved us. Nothing seemed good enough to earn his approval...so true that I have always been anxious concerning love and its been very hard to believe/receive a mans love. I finally decided to rewrite the script and see my Father GODs Love that is Unconditional toward me. He is healing my heart and rewriting the emotional script. Im finally learning to settle into the idea that I dont have to prove myself or be good enough for a man to love me. Im lovely as I am and I have Gods unconditional love which fills my soul completely. A man is just icing on the cake. Gods Love is the cake. Thats just what ive come to see over the years
Amen, Sister! Heavenly Father’s love is perfect, so if our earthly fathers made some mistakes, we can forgive, knowing that Father God offers forgiveness for all.
We met when we were both newly bereaved and both 81. He wore starched cotton shirts and was clean-shaven, and therefore smelled nice. I started seeing signs that he was becoming interested in me! I couldn’t figure out why. We’re now 84 and in an established relationship. I did everything wrong, according to this video. Except reacting calmly to trouble. I did do that.
What a sweet, endearing story. Congratulations to you both
Perfect! Very sweet and inspiring story.
Simple it's not good for man to be alone.
Important to find one's soul-mate.
I was deeply in love with a girl when I was young and she only wore a small amount of makeup and never wore perfume. She had only two scents and both drove me wild: 1. Her hair. She washed her hair with Agree shampoo (which is no longer made). I don't know what was in it, but it was amazing. 2. The natural scent of her skin. Just a gentle whiff of her shoulder was intoxicating.
I miss Agree shampoo! It smelled so good! ☺️
Is that you Gary? Remember saying - "Gee, your hair smells terrific!, I Agree!"
you my dear was infatuated....ah the fun years
@@jeepsishumate2021 True. I was. It was wonderful!
@@jeepsishumate2021I have a guy still that way with me and he is married. It broke my heart that of all the men I thought he was in deep love with whom he married! I have lost faith in love now
My father was an abusive alcoholic who I hated when I was younger. As I grew older my biggest desire was to understand him because all I wanted was he's love and attention. Fortunately with time and understanding we healed our relationship and I learned many things about him which left me with only admiration for him. He loved me dearly, thankfully I got to know this before he passed on 🙏❤️ It has left me with a desire to admire the next man who comes into my life.
I am so glad that you came to a lovely place of healing.
So many people don’t realize that they can get help that can work magic. One phone call and 2 people of the same sex will come and take you to a meeting. You can be drunk.
You will never have to
say anything , for 2 days or for 20 years.❤
@@maryshanley329 What are you talking about? A meeting that will negatively affect one's life til they die? Being drunk is NEVER a good thing.
@@turquoisemama33 I guess you have never gone to an AA meeting.( I never needed AA, but a family member did.)
It is not a just a meeting.
Magic happens, over time.
Just go to one open meeting, and I promise, your eyes will open.
@@maryshanley329 I do know what goes on at those meetings and it is NOT good.
Most men Do Not subconsciously understand a female will react in certain ways bc of some underlying psychological things. More like the world revolves around them & what do u mean they're not great enough it wasn't truly all on them to steer out every outcome there ever was. They're that important, truly. Alot of men r not that emotionally mature to even look that far in depth to begin with. Actions r indeed louder than words.. But since we're there, no, I don't like my dad. He's not much of 1. But I will say about him is that he knows way more true stereotypical male things than I've seen a lot of others be ignorant about. & Don't conveniently claim credit bc he's the same gender either. & Don't paint it like my choices this & that. I live in this world too. And by world I don't mean that little bubble of mine that's only in a barn however that saying goes. What I mean is I can talk about anyone, race, age, status, etc. They still can't do some certain things. Also also I saw a jokeish thing about at least my generation of crackheads knew how to rig yada yada about a car. Like wth does this generation do? First, *generation: all ages living at the same time. 2nd) no, I am absolutely not a crackhead. But 3) I def have seen some thirsty sketchy "ghetto" "redneck" ish , thinking wtf in the world .. but it turns out to be true. :/ like why the f would I (I'm a female, k...) put 1 of those white plastic tubing things in front end of my car for? Is that not a fire hazard. Lol I don't even know what I was getting at but in short to each their own
There’s so many other things men observe that puts them off such as: if she rushes to grab a seat on public transport; if she’s being rude to a waiter, salesperson, service staff; if she bargains for trivial items at the market; if she cuts a queue; if she talks on her phone while being served; and so on…..
It’s been my experience over a long life that immature men don’t notice or care about the behaviours you listed, as long as the girl/woman is pretty and is willing to have sex with them despite not being married.
I agree. I can't stand that behavior in either gender!
Those things tell if a human is a decent person. We kicked a woman out of our friend group after she bragged about cutting in line at Disney to get a selfie with a celebrity. She’s out.
These behaviors are done by all humans and noticed pretty much by all humans. It's not gender specific at all.
@@verenamaharajah6082 Not only immature men, but men in general don't care about such characteristics as long as the woman is pretty. I know also mature and good men who do not care about these listed behaviours here in this video. They don't care because there are actually other things more important for them.
Thank you for this valuable information. I finally found the man of my dreams when I worked on myself and can say I truly love myself--good and bad. I feel so much joy and I think he felt that Wishing all who watch this happiness and love ❤❤❤
Many men gossip more than women frfr; dude men gossip about their wives and the women they sleep with all the time. Men, grown men, ask other men what to do and how to handle their relationship allll the time..goh……well, I fart all the time so there’s that 😭😭😭😭😭😭…he can take me as I am or bite the dust… I’m not doing anything extra for a man…
THIS! Thank you! A+ Men gossip way more than us, lowkey on getting any gossip out of us (or anyone really) so they also know what others know (aka staying in the loop) and then say they don't like gossip as a way of trying to trick mainly women into thinking that men don't gossip.
SO TRUE.. SHOCKS ME
It all starts at the relationship with your Father.
My Father has always been my "Heavenly Father"
❤🙏🙌
Amen🥰
Amen! ❤
The only man that I can count on!
@@Portia620
God bless you!!
Amen. GOD IS THE ONLY FATHET WHO LOVED ME N STILL DOES. THE HUMAN ONE... NO WORDS WILL EVER DESCRIBE
Handling disappointment is something new I heard in your video only. There is so much scope to level up oneself in terms of inner peace and kindness if one learns to handle disappointments gracefully. Thank you for sharing this video.
Thanks for the compliment.
I remember in college that one of the women was always in full make-up. Over the top actually compared with the rest of us. She began dating one of the guys and then one day I saw the two of them and she had a clean, natural face. I was shocked as I had never seen her like that. I wasn't close to the two of them, but within a day of seeing her 'au natural' they were engaged and she was back wearing her make-up. I always wondering if he had insisted on seeing the real her before he would propose. I found your comment about fathers interesting. My father abandoned us when I was a little girl, so I never had that close relationship and it did leave me prone to making mistakes in the men I choose to have in my life.
It's an important help to have a caring father. To many dads don't understand the importance. Bless you
My husband of over 30 years told me what attracted him was the fact that I lived independently, financially self supported, worked full time. So romantic!
That only means you'll do most of the housework for him, pay the restaurant, that he won't have to pay for you and that you will cope alone in adversity. Very romantic indeed.
@@ludmillaannaovna well that hasn’t happened yet and we are together since 1985. When does it start?
@@joycewright5386 When what, starts ? You have a definition of romantism I call materialism that's all. And standing a long time together does not mean you love each other, as it is not hard to keep a man, even some of the ugliest ones manage to do so.
My ex proposed to me by saying he wanted to declare me on his taxes, so let's get married before the end of the year.
@@lisefrazier5984 My ex did the same with his new wife so I suspect him having married me for the same sort of "sentimental" reasons.
I have only been married to my hubby for 50 years +. We did not have social media when we met. We talked about everything. We agreed on some stuff and disagreed about other things. That was ok. We had lots in common although we came from different backgrounds. We were young and still had a lot to learn. We grew together, faced so much together even though his job took him away for long periods of time. We had some difficult times but throughout our lives we have supported each other. Our children are grown and we are grandparents now. I don't think any of what you have detailed was ever considered. We fell in love.
One of the best responses here. Human nature is unpredictable. There is no formula.
In you relationship, if you did a timeline and itemized the benchmark moments I'm sure you can come up with a list that might overlap his.
I have these traits you describe, and I had found the king of my heart.
We were going to get married next May, but I lost him this January 😔🖤
He did tell me that the reason why he insisted on our relationship, approaching me as a close friend first 4 years ago, was because he saw beauty in my authenticity.
I loved him as a person even before we became a couple.
My soul fell in love with his soul 🖤🖤
He taught me many things about life, apart from how to live without him by my side 😔🖤
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It is only sad to observe the modern world and realize that people pay attention to temporary pleasure, wasting themselves and avoiding to let themselves love wholeheartedly.
May he rest in peace.
@@pemcortes9467 Thank you 🖤🖤
I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm sure his love for you taught you even more about how to be blessed! Stay strong!
@@pemcortes9467 Thank you 🖤
@@pemcortes9467 Thank you 🖤
Love me or not...your choice..I know who I am and what I offer...not worrying about alllllllllllll
that.❤
And the same goes for you men!!!
Yes, watch out when he wears makeup.
🤣🤣🤣@@SaveTheMessenger yes yes we must watch out for men wearing makep🤣🤣🤣
shut up opinion rejected
@SaveTheMessenger yep, when he is a metalhead!
Touche', LOL!
I did not have a loving father growing up, It wasn't until I was born again (true Christian) that I began to know the Father in the Bible. He began to show me such great love and mercy, a love I'd never known or comprehended before. He is so good. He led me into celibacy 7yrs ago. He has been teaching me to submit to His ways, and where I hated men before, or disregarded them, now I have begun to appreciate their beauty and strength, most of all I know my Father is teaching me to love and submit to Him, and if He marries me off one day to a man of His choice, I will be able to love that man more fully in a healthy way. Repent of your sins and follow Jesus Christ, His love is the greatest of all.
Amen! Celibacy is a gift from God. I am no longer looking for a man and am enjoying my own company with the Lord.
Was trying to do my make-up glam for a wedding. Following a tutorial and took a class from a makeup artist back home. My man saw me in the hotel finishing my make-up. And laughed. Totally killed my confidence. Hid my tears.
Other than the make-up women notice men for the same things. Instead of make-up women pay attention to whether or not men are a slob or if they put effort into their grooming. Women, however, tend to judge men less harshly than men judge women.
Not sure about that
Not true. Women judge EVERYONE's physique more harshly, both men and women. They don't spend all their time looking at themselves in the mirror, taking selfies and so on for nothing.
@@mayodog1591 Men and women are motivated by different biological impulses. This leads the genders to value specific things over others, and they are not the same. In general men and women will judge other's appearance certainly, but men place more importance and value on the appearance of potential mates than women.
@@DanteVelasquez Dude, I understand se**al dimorphism lol, and I still disagree with you (respectfully, of course). This is the only thing you need to understand about this topic: men compete, women choose. Period. And this doesn't just apply to humans.
Men are not more visual than women, that's an oversimplification.
The average man values a woman's looks more than anything, sure, but *only in comparison to everything else the woman has to offer.* Meaning: a man will want a woman who's at least a 5 physically (or higher), even if she's below a 5 in several other areas. The "biological explanation" for this is that a man doesn't really need a woman for anything other than reproduction.
Women value EVERYTHING more than men, INCLUDING looks. Meaning: a woman wants a man who's at least a 6-7 or higher in everything (looks, and that includes height; social status; charisma... and so on).
The "biological explanation" for this difference is that reproduction is more costly for women (they get pregnant for 9 months and, when that happens, they're vulnerable; unlike men, who can reproduce recklessly several times a day with no problems), and that's why it makes absolute biological sense for women to be pickier than men across the board... and they are.
Ladies, he is telling us how men view us but it doesn’t mean we have to conform to their idea just how men don’t always conform to a woman’s idea of a man. There will always be differences. They don’t want us to wear too much makeup because they don’t want their woman to gain attention among other men. Have your own beauty standards, don’t settle for less and always look your best❤ you don’t have to tone down your makeup for a man.
You make a point!
We don't have to do anything for a man. Let them eat cake.
No. Men don't like lots of make up because it looks, smells, tastes awful. Be fun, confident, and in good physical condition to make me more interested in getting to know you. Beauty emanates from within. Fake-up is a repellent.
What happens when that heavy makeup come off 👀 😅
He, and other people alike, that subscribe to this gendered bullshit say nothing of importance at all
So basically, I have to change every part of me just so a guy can like me? If I wear make up, it's not good enough. If I don't wear make up, then I don't put in effort. If I tell him how I feel and that I am stressed and depressed the guy will think I can't handle life? I'm sorry, but I don't live a laddy dah life which makes me positive and pretty. I live in a toxic world with toxic people and if I can't confide in my partner or be my natural self, what is the point of being in a relationship?
I feel a lot of resentment in your words. I hope you're doing well dear. If you believe the world is toxic, you will only see toxicity in people. Have a great day.
Yeah,. I think you missed the point completely! Haha
There's literally NO POINT... Be in a loving relationship with YOURSELF, that's enough...❤❤❤ The vast majority of men are narcissists, they try to test you in order to know how easily you can be manipulated... 😳🙈 DECENTER men and start centering YOURSELF... 🙏🤗🍀🍀
Very true, don't have kids with someone you can't trust to begin with.
You sound like me!! 😂 I feel exactly the same frustration! And it's amplified, every time I listen to any of these advisory "experts." All men want are trophies. Young faces with thin bodies, & monster boobs. Oh and who've never had sex, but are suddenly Triple X material after one date with them! The only men I'm thinking about now are which ones to do cosmetic surgery with. 😝😜🤗🫠
The part where he talks about makeup is actually true. Girls, you can take this advice (about makeup) fearlessly. This part is very true. Tried and tested time and time again. Best of luck, girl friends! 💟
Dating only in a chaparone setting, a serious mature man will accept the terms if honorable.
I avoid gossiping because it troubles me. I have not social media accounts; I opt for a modest nude lipstick; my smile serves as my makeup.
Yes, the relationship with the father as a significant influence on women’s thinking about men. In crucial moments, I look in the right direction to find the solution. Life is full of challenging moments which reshape us or specially designed to come our way to redirect us from a possible wrong path.
Thank you for the 7 secrets 😊
"My smile serves as my makeup." What a beautiful statement that is.
@@SaveTheMessenger Rubbish. Women don't need to smile or be submissive to you to be attractive.
I don’t gossip. I hate it people who gossip about others.
I also don’t post everything in my social media or Facebook,instagram.
I’m a woman but I don’t used deodorant ever since. I don’t have bad smell like onions ✌️
About make up , I can go out to superstore or mall without make up. I also want to show my natural look. Not the temporary look. I want a man to like me in my natural looks.
I’m my father’s loving daughter . And my father is my encouraging to fulfill all my dreams. He also my good adviser. Because of my father, that’s who I am today. Thank God for giving me a loving and caring father.
If disappointment comes , just breathe and think that God has a purpose in everything. That’s how I handle disappointment in my life.
You sound like you are applying for a date
Me either…my private life is my private life. Besides we all need an air of mystery.
I agree with you! I have never been comfortable around gossip. Don’t like a lot of makeup either, it feels like mud on my face. I can’t stand social media except TH-cam and Instagram posts, but don’t have personal accounts on any of them. I prefer personal interactions with people from all walks of life, and don’t give a shit if I’m different than everyone else, I don’t like the continuous scams, trolls and hacks on all those platforms.
I’ve got better things to do than spend most of my life looking at my phone. I think it’s rude if you’re talking to someone and they’re more focused on their phone than the conversation. I usually ditch those kind of people.
Sounds good
If you have good habits, you work hard and you are honest with yourself and not betray others, that’s all counts, I won’t change anything about me for anyone, leave alone a man…
I wish I had heard this kind of advice when I was a young woman - I wouldn't have wasted my time seeking bare minimum attention because I thought that was “enough”...
You are a wise young man and what a blessing you are to women you need to hear the truth! God bless you young man, and the lucky woman who will be smart enough to appreciate you and your intelligence, compassion, and thoughtfulness! 👍👍👍
0:16 they lost interest because I/we don’t sleep with random guys I/we just met. I don’t kiss random guys I just met. So it sounds like a them problem. 😂
They are not worth the time and effort. When the right guy comes, he will love and respect you for having values and high standards.
I was married for 24 years before my husband passed. I think your advice is 100% correct. We can change everything about us but our hearts. People see the real you.
Well that's been promised too. "New heart and new mind". I needed both.
1 w^r, peace with God, and a serious self look... looked good on outside but a failure.
Once at the bottom, time to build up.
Lots of men strangers, have just said straight out they love how I smell out of the blue and women as well. It makes me feel confident.
Boy, what a misconception a man can have who thinks that the way I talk about my father is how I see all the other men in my life😄! I have never seen or met as honourable, dignified, kind and loving man in my life as my father was. I certainly don't see other men like him.
@@CocoisagordonsetterMaybe... but you didn't consider that the MOTHER might be the cause of a daughter's insecurities.
@@CocoisagordonsetterYou are right. I do have high standards, but my parents' marriage was so harmonious and loving that I had no idea toxic relationships and manipulative behaviour existed. It took a while to recognize that. I grew up thinking that all marriages were as loving and caring as my family.
Yeah, that's the problem. No man is ever going to be good enough for you. There are some wonderful men out there. You've described my father too but I seen men like him all the time. Most are married but I have hope there is a widower among them and I still have a chance for a rightly ordered marriage after one annulment and one dying.
@@tinalettieri I only talked about my own dear father. I certainly didn't describe anyone else's. I have nothing to reproach or blame, nothing to accept or "try to understand" about my parents. They have been the best part of my life and I'm happy that I was lucky enough to grow up as a child of the soulmates. They were a team -- the best one. I have always been loved, always felt their love towards me, my sisters and each other.
@@ojala5555 Well said,
So what are us women who do not have a good relationship with our fathers by no fault of our own…what are we supposed to do?
Oh, don't worry about it! This is just an inverted "knowledge" of "what women notice in a man", i.e. how a man talks about his mother. Men don't really judge a woman by how she talks about her father. It would be absurd to admire or praise, for example, a father who was a drunkard, neglected his family and drank himself to death😂.
@@ojala5555 💯
@@ojala5555 They judge by how she describes the relationship and how she has handled any negatives. Everyone is flawed, even our beloved fathers. But I try to understand, forgive him his sins and accept the love he had for me. Thus when I speak of him, I only speak well and in praise of his many good points. The weaknesses can't hurt me anymore.
@@tinalettieri No, they don't. I haven't talked to any man about my parents' marriage, especially about my father or their relationship, because NO ONE MAN has asked about it. There are completely different things that motivate men to be interested in women. This is only womanly trait to ask men about their mother and the relationship between them. Men, on the contrary, have told me they don't want to know about other people of the same gender in my life as themselves, including my father, because they feel unnecessary competition when they were good, and too much trouble when they were not.
Do the work it takes to heal. Don't put your broken self on a man, men are not made to deal with that it's just not how things work. Get therapy, study things online, read things, work on yourself because nobody who isn't reasonably whole to a decent percentage 70/80 percent so at least, needs to get in a relationship is not your psychotherapist doctor mommy daddy big brother or girlfriend.
I'm a woman so I know. I've had to walk the same path myself! Do the work!
Men shouldn't get to have a relationship until they straighten out their broken cells to a good degree as well, we're not their healers mamas therapist or doctors either.
In order to have a relationship, two people need to be reasonably hole, and veterans of working on themselves if they're damaged. And you don't have to be old to do it, just get going and get the work done. Make yourself whole enough to be a good partner, be responsible for you. And stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Having a relationship is not a commodity in life. It is an extra thing even though we think of it as something we de facto deserve. It's not. You have to earn it and become the kind of person who can be in a relationship because a relationship is work! If you can't do the work on yourself, you're not ready for a relationship I don't care how old you are.
I'm old. I've had to learn all this. You can too.
At age 63 I found a Christian husband in church. I was married 19 years, single for 19 years, working helping with my grandchildren ,not interested in any dating, I was content. But God had other plans
Across the aisle was a wonderful Christian divorced Christian man, who also was not interested in a relationship. Long story , Good Lord willing we will celebrate our 5th anniversary this June
Congratulations ❤
If he was divorced, it’s unlikely God put you two together, unless she cheated and he left because she cheated. Otherwise, for him to marry you is adultery. You shouldn’t get a divorce, but both of you should repent.
@@IamParalegal I was divorced too. My spouse cheated as did his. We both are Born-Again Believers , saved by Jesus dying on the cross for us and being tisen again. God does allow for divorce in His Bible because He knows mans nature.
We were both raised in a denomination where they think a priest can give you penance and that he can firgive you of your sins and that Mary is an intercessor on footing or even abouve Jesus. These are nothing but man made rules. Mary was like every other human born on Earth, a sinner in need if a savior. She was used to give birth to our Savior. We do not follow man made rules or denominations. We have a relationship with Jesus who saved us
In my 30s I thought what right do I have in depriving a God loving fearing woman of a loving Yah fearing man?
"No good for man to be alone."
The rest is history 29 yrs ago.
@@IamParalegal
One thing not preach nor even given to men... Dt28.30, 2Sam12.11, Jer8.10, "Give your betroth/ wife to another".
I ALWAYS attract with my intelligence and wit. I don’t focus on physical appearance because looks fade. All guys have told me that I’m not like other women. I don’t cause drama and I’m always honest and blunt. Men like honesty. Women play too many mind games and expect men to know how they feel and what they think. They don’t! Men are simple. Don’t play mind games and tell them what you want. Period.
Much wisdom in your words.
Honesty is the best policy
When dating my wife I made sure I was chaperone, to avoid her being compromised.
The value is in the boundaries
I agree that a woman who had/has a good relationship with her father tends to attract better relationships with men and the same goes for men who have good relationships with their mother. Still, some parents are abusive or neglectful and that's not our fault if we don't have a good relationship with them. However I've learned that part of maturing is healing from those issues with our parents and come to a point where we can understand why they were/are the way they are, and be able to move on to healthier relationships.
Well said. We cannot pick our parents, but it's our responsibility to mature and heal those wounds.
@@SaveTheMessenger So, fix yours then. You are clearly disillusioned.
Tip: this video? It is a red flag to many women. Thank you for warning so many women against dating you.
Yes, this guy is an incel in the making. He seems very bitter and entitled.
Lol 😅😅😅 it's okay.
The honorable rise to the occasion.
I am me... I am my true self...I am not waiting..surching...fishing on a partner...to me authentic friends are important... either somebody loves me or they do not. 😉😊
AND DO THEY EVEN KNOW HOW TO LOVE IN THE FIRST PLACE ??
I really liked this video. As one who didn't have the attention of my father, I went through some bad relationships. I tried to see them as lessons. My latest relationship was a man who showed me how I should be treated. He loved me and I loved him. He set a new standard for me. He passed away almost three years ago, and I've stayed single since. I now know my worth. I will wait for the man with whom I can have a healthy relationship. Until then, I'm happy being single. Thank you for this video.
I'm sorry to for your loss❤
@@AllisonABC393 Thank you
Love is two sided. Just like "Give respect and get respect " Give love and get love. Understanding each other's means, abilities, needs and hobbies are very important. Care for each other, sharing not only what we have but daily happenings too, each one has an unique character. Understanding and bearing with one another's shortcomings is very important. If you are good parents not greedy after money or cheating each other, then our children also will be good both in character and helping others.
Very interesting about the father daughter relationship…I adored my father as a little girl, craved his attention and affection..he didn’t know how to respond I don’t think ..bought up by Victorian parents . And yes ..I believe I’ve previously accepted ‘lack ‘ from my choices . Thank you ..this is an education 😊
Definitely know what you mean by accepting "lack". me too
Men tend to be handicapped but there is hope.
I use to tell ppl we can still sort and resolve our parents even after they are gone.
Haha! I know exactly what men notice about me. The man I eventually married was the only man I dated that knew the color of my eyes after the first date.
I actually never noticed the eye color of the men I dated, even the long term relationships. Or maybe I just don't remember anymore.
Ladies, stop deflecting. Just listen, he is trying to tell you something helpful
I have seen successful men leaving their beautiful wife for a below average.
" the few times I've been in love in the past' 😂😂😂😂 and this guy's giving advice!? 😅
Ladies be very careful, men who notice these things tend to be very judgmental. And who the hell are you to judge anyone? We are all human and we have human flaws. Trust me from my life experience, the right men DO NOT CARE! If he truly loves you, you can do whatever you want and if you want do change yourself or habits, do it for you, not him.
It is not judgement. It's choosing a woman who is pleasant to you. If a man uses tobacco,consumes alcohol and has poor hygiene not just any woman is gonna want him. So,if a woman cakes on make-up, wears an unpleasant perfume and eats like a slaughter hog then not any man is gonna spend his life with her just because he loves her.
Here here, he describes a whitewashed idealised boring prude who allows a man to control her social life (friends, social media, reactions, family) or a female Buddha. But men , being the gatekeepers of relationships, do. like to play God don't they?
"If he truly loves you, you can do whatever you want." Don't you think that's a bit of a stretch?
@@SaveTheMessenger I'm speaking from experience, so for me, I would say it isn't. 🙂
The point of the vid is, from my view, correcting the "Daddy/ male fail" that was not talked about earlier.
It opens up dialogue.
Men don't know how to handle disappointment, they explote but wanted us to handle disappointment that's a NO NO.
Few.i agreed but not all
Well, the jokes on you. I am not on social media - except TH-cam which really isn't all that social. My father is dead, so there isn't much of a relationship there anymore. A woman's relationship with her parents in general, is an unfair judgement. Perhaps there was abuse, poverty, drug use. Men need to think about the person before them and not be so worried about the past. And, a lot of men gossip worse than women. Men notice the physical thing first. Period. The rest MIGHT come later. If a woman isn't pretty in his eyes, he isn't going to bother to get to know who she is unless they have a lot contact naturally (work, social circle).
Yes I think looks has a lot to do with if you're lucky in love and in life. It's the first thing people notice is how attractive you are.
Ugly or unattractive people get less dates if any, gets teased/bullied at school, have lower paying jobs, are not likely to achieve or get promoted, are way less popular, have fewer friends, which in turn all these negative things plays a huge impact on their self worth and esteem, which impacts their ability to interact with others and how they see themselves. It's a vicious cycle.
Known fact observable, Beta/ simp gossip.
1st thing I saw in my wife. Her face... big eyes (good eye contact), genuine smile, and her lovely acorn haircut and that I had to look up.
My thought, "Always wanted a woman I could look up to."
Not her breast. Not her butt.
Next her smarts, wow could she express her thoughts. I could listen to her for hours on end.
I watch a short this morning, "Touch the part you like most". The guy place his hands on her head going down to her feet ftom, back and her hands, all of her.
He got itbright
Ignore the haters,Ismael. I know I am not your target audience, but a 50 year marriage to a great guy gives me some authority here. You are 100% correct on all, except one. Again, my personal experience with a biological father who abandoned my mom with two young kids, and who was an emotional abuser, adulterer and criminal-in other words no loving male to look up to. But my Catholic faith and my strong Sicilian mother were my moral compass. I survived. I thrived. My life is blessed. If it was possible for me, it’s possible for other women, too. Again, excellent video, Ismael.
Personally, I hate pretence. How long will I continue to pretend in order to please a man ?😅 Pls, I like being myself and can't afford to keep pretending just to appear perfect
Thanks so much for sharing this information . 😃
Now I understand why the most contented times in my life have been when I was free and single !
I’m 76. Every word he said is true ladies. Take heed.
Our friends don't define us. We are all individuals with our own thoughts, feelings, and morals.
Wow, out of all of the relationship advice videos I’ve ever watched. This one is hands down the most on point & honest. There are a few areas I can definitely apply this advice. The parts I have down made me smile. Thank you so much for providing honest awareness.
This is interesting and confirms what my husband has been telling me all these years. I thought he was nuts for liking me without makeup better than with even though I don’t wear much.
When I was 18, I asked my boyfriend how I looked as we were getting ready to go out ... he replied, "Don't worry, no-one's going to look at you, anyway." Almost forty years on and I hardly even look in a mirror because I can still hear those words ...
Fuck that guy, seriously. You are a grown woman. There is no reason that CHILD and his inane bs should still be affecting you. You are WAY better than that.
Your post made me sad and angry. I am so sorry that someone hurt you like that. You are beautiful. I hope you can heal and move past those ugly words.
You don't say whether you married him or not, but oh God, I hope you ditched that vile piece of s.....t. straight away. At 18 there were plenty more out there, you did not need to keep that obnoxious pimple around.
Do Not continue to allow another person’s incorrect opinion to shadow your life any longer! Let that shit go! It was just someone being rude & inconsiderate but should Not be taking up space in your brain any longer
Nothing wrong with looking.
I spend 3 days helping my wife with her wardrobe and accessories. She can look all she wants.
I’m 61 years old and have been with my husband, married for 29 years. The MOST IMPORTANT thing a person must look for in a mate is DO THEY LOVE GOD ? If so your chances are very good that that will be kind, respectful, patient and a person who places their family high on their priorities.
That's the bottomline.
Correct!
I agree completely! I’m 63 and my husband said that one of the most compelling things about me was that I would love God even more than I would love him and that I wanted the same from my husband. My husband is a wonderful, virtuous man and a great example of what a good husband is!
@@gretchensharpe827
I made the the mistake to tell her to chose between God and me... oops. I realized "my bad", I knew as soon as it came out of my mouth.
That was 29yrs ago.
I understand what you’re saying. Those are all things to strive for. In my 69 year old opinion. I prefer living alone. I don’t need someone to ‘complete me’. If I offend someone with my wavy, curly messy hair…..I don’t care.
Thank you for telling us. 😊
I’m just working on being myself. Really finding my passions , finding what lights me up and makes me smile. I agree with the father thing. I had a very abusive father and it caused a lot of insecurity in relationships. Now I am healing I’m ready for a man to really love me.
Oh, the father one is HUGE! My dad was like an angel. He truly loved me. They say women should look at how a man interacts with his mom. Totally agree.
If her scent was forgettable, how did you remember all that😂?
Mature female friends will drop you over gossip too. So I would drop gossip all together.
Yes! I dropped a 30yr friendship for gossip#1.
I warned her & warned her about it. She also wouldn't take seriously things I said to her. I thought about it very hard. I actually dropped 5 old " friends" at once. The gossip female included.
So happy I did this!!!
3 females & 2 males.
Another reason why backstabbing is in. Everyone knows that so to Stay In the know...everyone puts on the monkey mask and pretend.
Ladies, you MUST love yourself first......if you don't then you can't actually LOVE a man the way he wants to be loved.
When I first began dating my future husband, most of my friends advised against it. The more they talked bad about him, the more I wanted to date him and find out for myself. Even some of HIS friends said not to! We were both just 17. We married at 20 and it was a great 30 year marriage til death did we part. Take people's advice under advisement but find out for yourself. You may be surprised.
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
A persons character defines their destiny. Choose a mate wisely. They will represent 90 % of your happiness or 90% of your misery.
You did such a nice presentation. The Father relationship is so important.
Thank you...too many are focused on looks alone.
As a woman, I agree with all of this except blaming adult women for what they suffered as children. Their having been victimized does not equate to a broken person. The women (and men) friends I have who were abused as kids are far more kind than the women and men who were coddled and pampered and taught the sun rose and set on them. They, are the mean ones. It’s awful that armchair psychologists victimize the victims. It is never the fault of the child that their parent mistreated them. For people to paint these kids all the way through their adult lives with a negative brush is disgusting.
The one's that can talk are the "survivor".
Otherwise you have those still playing the victim card (Foil).
My husband noticed I wasn't fat. His friends always hooked him up with fat women. He also noted I worked two jobs in a bad economy. Many of his other dates had no jobs. They were looking for a man to support them. This is what he told me. We've been married almost 33 years.
A man marries a woman not an attribute.
As for fat, nothing a BigFig adjustable bed can't handle to support cuddling, etc. My wife loves it.
Am 78. Did enjoy your chat. 28 years married and after divorce another relationship. Am now alone and happy to be so. I do however have 2 wonderfull children and will always be grateful to my husband for them.
my father left my mother when I was 2, literally walked out the door never to be seen again so I grew up without a father, well it didn’t damage me, I had a perfectly fine upbringing and never had a problem with relationships with men, I have been married to my wonderful husband for the last 23 years, who is a great father to our daughter.
Exactly - if people have self awareness these things don’t always apply
Hi Ismael, what you said about guys noticing if a girl has a good or bad relationship with her father was very interesting. Please make a video that goes more in depth about that topic. There are many of us who grew up with abusive or absent fathers. How should we tell our partner that information without them using it against us because they know we don’t have a male role model who set high standards for us to find in a partner? Should we tell them the truth or should we lie about it? Can you share tips on how we can be a high value woman and find a high value man when we have a very abusive father and toxic family.
After having cancer, I could give a rats ass on the little shyt. I also still cry when anyone mentions my mom or dad, I miss them so much. Relationships are too much work and not worth my energy. Sorry, I just relish my single life.
Women notice how men handle disappointment also. Trust me.
Disappointment -
So if I we back from a trip overseas. And my fiancé decided to sleep with one of my hangout buddies.
I understood she didn't want didn't want "just me".
Though a messed up way of communicating, I got the message.
I forgave them both, broke the engagement, and was done with the guy too.
So then again guys didn't care for a woman until I did. So I did the reset and "lone wolfed" it....
I solace in being by myself cycling , swimming, dining by myself (I enjoy good food).
I still kept the hope (held on for "something better", "something more", I wanted it all in the human experience of life).
The "foil" did not care to probe my spiritual, historical, biographical, etc depth. Ex.: "wrong woman" over and over again, they didn't go beyond my body.
The shoe was on the other foot. I felt like a sandwich.
My wife is very edu., well articulated, and a most lovely embassador for women.
My ex had a bar. It was low. M y young mind could understand. I felt confident in my decisions as a young woman. No alcoholic was my goal in a husband. Not knowing I had set the bar pretty low. Good place to start, not stop. You seem very wise. I look forward to watching your videos. Thank you.