This man needs a hell of a lot more views. This is the most professional and knowledgeable psychologist I have ever seen. I am educated upon psychology myself and I am thankful to have found your thoughts and analysis that goes beyond what I have seen so far.
I am right there w you. This guy uses examples and simplicity, he talks to everyone- on all levels.. this is extremely helpful because he starts w the symptoms- then follows all the way through until suggested solutions- in 15 minutes, he manages to be encouraging and educational- exceeding most clinicians I have seen
When you're freaking out, ask yourself always whether you've eaten. Lower blood sugar can cause a lot of anxiety and irritability. Taking care of yourself and your body could help reduce possible influences.
Being able to listen to someone talk about BPD issues makes me able to relate and recognize what's actually happening to me. In therapy I feel like I'm just talking, I never know if I'm talking about the right things and dont feel I get a response as to what it is and what's happening to me. Does anyone else feel this way? These videos help me so much. Thank you
Battydragon yes. I’ve had several therapists recently and have felt I was never getting the realization/‘click’/epiphany I need to change. Lots of talking, venting, explaining. About to start a new therapist now too! And I DO catch myself doing this. I was just doing this tonight on the way home, with such a really negative and limited mental bandwidth “I’m never gonna move to a new city” or “Nobody is going to want to love me or want me”. There’s a lot of ‘impossibles’ when I’m really stuck in this groove and it just makes me more angrier at myself and the world.
Childhood trauma will do that to you and having a mom with BPD and a drinking narcissistic father. I was always in fight/flight/freeze as a child. And depression as far back as kindergarten 😪
@@ritaknak1741 I think there are a lot of us who had similar experiences. I read the comments of others and feel the same way, “that happened to me.” I hope you’re on a path to good mental health and happiness. It’s been a journey for me. Sending you good wishes.
Oh wow those are like my parents too! Well my mom is mainly a codependent but does have bpd traits. But my dad is the alcoholic narcissist!! My condolences friend 🙏
The no immediate response to someone with BPD will cause one to go immediately into worst case scenario. This has destroyed a few of my relationships. You also feel like they are doing it just for the purpose of hurting you.
When I was younger I would literally vomit before going to a party or getting severely anxious before going to a concert or event. Even when I was with friends, it was hard to regulate my emotions, even though I really did want to have fun and have experiences! So...now I’m older and all my life I have pushed myself, which has paid off. Now if I could just over come ruminating thoughts, texting anxiety, will anyone ever love me issues...I’d be great! Lol!! You just have to re direct mind constantly, and hope you learn some new patterns! My best wishes to all, who also suffer from BPD!
Thanks, Dr. Fox. I’ve watched nearly all of your videos on BPD. I was diagnosed many years ago but don’t have the insurance or financial means for help with it. This video is a very different topic than you have previously discussed (that I know of at least) and it’s a major piece of the puzzle that I was struggling to find answers for. I catastophize nearly all day everyday. I thought it was just anxiety but I believe now that this may not always be caused by my anxiety but in fact it likely is what’s causing a lot of my anxiety. I will definitely try to use the advice you have given to at least slow down the rate that I catastrophize. Your videos are the therapy and guidance that I need now that I can’t afford to get the actual therapies and help that I need. You’re making a huge impact, Dr. Fox and I greatly appreciate the time you take to make these videos. You help me find hope, when not long ago, I didn’t think I would ever find hope. Thank you.
Even if you could afford help its so difficult to find anyone who works with ppl with bpd. I havnt been able to find anyone. I have no money either. I see therapists & they dont get it. I already feel like an alien. Its like Im speaking a language noone understands .If only there were more like Dr Fox around
I can convince myself of a great deal more since covid and news about anything can spin me out for...ever. Got a crochet hobby and found your channel and am not catastrophizing about anything today. Its real, I see it. Do you think covid has been actively involved in difficulty for BPD?
Destiny, I hope you feel better now a couple years since you wrote your comment. A lot of notable people have bpd and by the way may have been misdignosed with bipolar. The person that comes to mind is Dusty Springfield. (Lots of youtube videos and couple of documentaries.) She pulled herself out of years of cocaine and alcohol and made a world class "comeback" with the Pet Shop Boys in the 80's Her life story ended up on Broadway before the pandemic .She is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Also received the Order of the British Empire (OBE) from the queen in her native England. Several biographies have been written. A real musical genius. Best wishes.
What has helped me most for catastrophizing is visualizing ALL possible outcomes. Being rational and immediately arguing with myself by challenging that catastrophy. Yeah, the worst could happen, but the best is just as possible, so why should I worry. What will be will be. It's becoming more and more automatic with time too! I'll add the positive reminders about myself after doing the rationalizing. Thank you for this video, it's helped me after a rough day.
Wow…. thank you so much for this… simply replacing the outcome with a positive one hasn’t helped me much, but your idea is already changing the game for me 😍
I have been catastrophising my entire life. Was diagnosed 10 years ago but didn't accept or research to realise this is actually me!!! The BPD 'label' wasn't something I was willing to own but recently, it has freed me. Thankyou so much! 🙂🙏 Have ordered your workbook, I reside in South Australia so may take a while to arrive but excited all the same. My son needs for me to make changes. I want to learn to love who I am also. I'm a good Mum and person but catastrophe me doesn't agree 😂 I endeavour to watch an episode of your channel each night when I'm starting to internally unravel. You've honestly changed my life and I thankyou grately 🙂
I do this all the time and I never even realized it was a specific symptom. If my boyfriend leaves and doesn't answer me for a while, I get ridiculously worried and tend to assume he must've died. I used to cry every single day before work and freak out thinking "I can't handle this today and I'm going to do something stupid or wrong and I'm gonna lose my job, maybe I just shouldn't go". I don't usually feel like I can do anything on my own without feeling like I'm going to mess it up or be perceived as stupid or unstable. The fight, flight, or freeze thing is so real for me. I try very hard to calm myself when I feel this way, but often times I'll either lash out at who I'm closest to at the time(started with my parents as a teenager and now it's usually my boyfriend or my best friend) that used to be how I'd handle it most of the time but trying to recognize and deal with that one has been really hard for me. Now when I feel it coming I'll often just shut down or dissociate bc dealing with it seems so hard at the time and at least I'm not lashing out at a person I love. I've found recognizing my symptoms and watching these videos specifically have helped me so much, but it's still really hard, even if I could get the therapy I'm sure it would still be so hard. I have loving and supportive people in my life and not pushing them away or trying as hard as I can to not treat them poorly has actually been the most uplifting part of this journey to recovery. ACCEPTING love from people instead of assuming they have some ulterior motive or it's eventually going to turn to shit anyway. I haven't made the feelings completely subside but I can recognize that it's my disorder talking and if I want to get better I need to let people love me. It feels like a big step even though I know there's so much more to learn. Thank you Dr. Fox for being one of the only mental health professionals on TH-cam who actually delves into the disorder and explains it in understandable terms. You've helped me so much and continue to with every new video, thank you!!
I needed this today, I procrastinated for 5 hours today as I attempted to write my first lab report at university. I managed to produce 1 sentence in that time due to catastrophising and berating myself like a self grown terrorist in my own mind to the point that I ended up disabling myself from producing more than that 1 sentence. I left feeling despondent and useless, but I’m going to stick at it even if it kills me. I’m attempting to study psychology, I believe in it and most of all I need it. Tomorrow I’m going to try again and this time I will attempt to use the skills and suggestions you’ve outlined in this video. Thanks for sharing this advice ⭐️
Same here. I guess for most of us, "therapy" is a lonely process, and we have to be both our therapist and our patient😅 I have lost trust in psychiatrists and other mental health's specialists anyway. So this format is ideal, and Dr Fox is very gentle with bpd people.
Great video, Dr. Daniel! Please make a video about how bpd loved ones should coping when they isolate themselves and starting to ignoring you for no reason.
Yes, like I'm stable and he isn't and I think he's breaking up with me right this second, holy fuck, 4 years, my baby daddy, idk what to do and noone is awake
As a FP of a BPD, I can relate that the smallest slights from others that may have nothing to do with her, she will interpret as a total catastrophe aimed at destroying her specifically
What if I distract too much? I find myself constantly listening to something or watching a video on TH-cam to distract myself from thinking in general. I catastrophize so much it caused me to drop out of school and it affects me every day at work
This is me, too. Distracting myself and disassociating have become my only certified coping mechanisms, and as a result I have become completely disengaged in my life. I was "fine" with that until it started interfering with my ability to work or even want to work. Have you found anything to pull you back yet?
ugh same here i get everything done, but ALWAYS w headphones on. i have my headphones on ALL day. the silver lining is that i've listened to some very good content on podcasts, interesting books and good music.
Dr Daniel, you are a godsend. I was diagnosed with CPTSD , ADHD and BPD at age of 40. I was always different, so angry, frustrated from minute I woke up until I laid down being unable to sleep. I'd run and still do, worst case scenario in my head whether it's past, present, or future. Your videos are very helpful yet easy to understand. Keep on educating us, you have a gift. Thank you so much for doing these videos. I'm just starting to understand and getting to know myself after all these years. Trauma after trauma, we become different, our brain rewires and it's unfortunate. Unlearning old behavior is germane to our future. I'm a masterpiece in progress. Blessings Doctor Daniel.
"Trauma after trauma, we become different, our brain rewires and it's unfortunate. Unlearning old behavior is germane to our future. I'm a masterpiece in progress." This is brilliantly beautiful and accurate, writing this down. Thank you
I catastrophised yesterday when my long distance boyfriend stopped watching s show we put on together from afar to have a shower and didn't tell me. I thought 'he can't love me or care about me. I care too much, I have to pull back or punish him.' Now I see it more clearly and think so what? He didn't communicate effectively and so I misunderstood him - that's the shade of grey.
Ohhh yes i recognise that pattern....oh yes i too pull back feel the urge to punish them, n secretly feel that's the only way I can withhold thier love, that's the only way I can keep it coming
Good for you for noticing it and stopping it!!! I wish I was there too! But soon!!!! Anything that helped you? Or just taking a broader look and finding the gray?
I would immediately feel like I did something wrong of he didn't want to talk to me or I was boring him. I do this anytime someone I like even as a friend doesn't text me right away
@silvershadow7655 I am not sure if my answer is correct, but I have a loved one that does this to me at times. I think it may have to do with the "splitting" seeing me as all good or all bad. The fear of abandonment emotion is so painful he lashes out. I am trying to set boundries because I am tired of being disrespected during his punishment rage splitting. He had a horrible childhood and I understand his pain and want to be supportive but not reinforce this behavior. I am learning so much through this wonderful doctor. I love his encouraging people with BPD.
This is the issue I have the most difficulty in. Thank you for the insightful video and tools, Dr. Fox! I always appreciate all the vids you upload immensely, especially the BPD ones. My negativity is a way of survival and you're right, it's a hard way to live. It's so heartbreaking to think anyone has to live like this, so I don't know how I can let myself live like this at all. Trying to be better one step at a time. Soft hugs to everyone here in turmoil. I hope we all make it through.
I just want to share how much I get from your videos. You sound non-judgmental and really seem to get what we are going through. They really help me and I have referred your videos out many times. Thank you so much!!!
Absolutely spot on as usual Dr Fox. I have to say your knowledge of our crippling condition is second to none, your videos are doing SO much good, particularly as most of us either cannot afford or access good treatment, you really are making a huge difference. Thankyou 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you so much for all of your videos... you really understand people with BPD, all you are saying is truth... It's like you're in my head...This is very helpful. I've always said that I prefer to set myself up for the worst, because if it happens, I'll be prepared, and if it turns out that it's not so bad, it will positively surprise me ... And I convince myself that this way I avoid disappointments. Only it doesn't work like that ... I torment myself with bad thoughts and fears and I don't know how to change it because I can't think about anything else if I'm worried about something. I try to do different things to distract myself, to not to think about the worst, but when I'm stressed, my thoughts overwhelm me.
Thank you for doing this video having a medical procedure today under anesthesia yes theirs always the risk, with any type of surgery. Realistically the percentage of having something drastic happening is fairly low. Hopefully l can look back and say " my worried thoughts were out of proportion." Slow my thinking down"
Thank you, Dr Fox! All the examples you mentioned: never going to find a solid and meaningful relationship, going to be without job and homeless, mom & dad were right, in ambiguity we conjure thoughts that other people are negatively talking about us behind their back, if the worst does not happen then pleasantly surprised thus persistent anxiety that exhausts and require alleviation... incredibly accurate to the exact letter on thoughts I'm undergoing currently. This video means so much to navigate those difficulties. Wish I knew these when I was younger, so that its easier to change, but really glad that there is such a treasure trove of information such as your video
It really is impressive how very well you understand the nuances of the way these individuals think, believe, behave and perceive the world around them; that's not meant to be flattery either. I suspect it has taken you years of research and many therapeutic relationships with people who suffer from BPD to gather the body of knowledge and understanding you have. It really is so very generous of you to share this so freely on TH-cam, as this is one population that really needs a clinician who genuinely understands how they think, feel and believe. Thank you for being that kind of clinician; there seem to be so few of you in existence.
Fascinating and informative. Thanks for providing strategies to manage and ease tendency to catastrophize (is that a word?). My tendency is to play out worst case scenario in my mind. Whether it is facing job loss, severe financial difficulties (current situation), bad relationships, inability to reach out to others, seeking help. My mind will ruminate around different versions of worst case scenario, for example financial ruin or bankruptcy. And conclude either that no one else cares, or that I’m powerless to change the course of events. This feeling of helplessness, inability to find a way forward, is rooted in self doubt, feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem, and lack of self determination.
I really struggle with this. It’s like 90% of my thoughts. Thanks for this helpful video!! I knew I was doing this but couldn’t put my finger on what it was exactly
You are a wonderful clinician, educator, and human being and are making a tremendous difference in the world. Your compassionate, hopeful attitude towards people with BPD is genuinely lifesaving.
I am so grateful I found this channel. I have found most therapists don't even attempt to recognize BPD at all. I had to point it out myself. Just last month, I had an altercation with my neighbor. I started worrying they would retaliate. I even thought, oh my god, what if she poisons my dogs now? I started watching them every minute I left them outside. Then I got asked to go to a huge meeting for work ... 4 hours away, in a very large city, to stay overnight, and go out to dinner. My anxiety went into full gear and I swear I thought of every horrible scenario possible. This is so debilitating, but now that I know what it is, I feel like I can move forward.
I love this channel so much! Everytime I click on a video I learn so much, I feel like I'm in class learning how my own brain works and how to deal with it haha
Every time I watch this video, I learn something new. I have been on my BPD recovery journey for 15 months. I have gotten to the point where I can realize that I am engaging in a maladaptive behavior because of the intense anxiety that goes along with maladaptive beliefs, but I am having trouble identifying the triggers and the specific behaviors while the situation is happening. This causes a lot of confusion for me and it can lead to a string of very bad days. One of the topics in this video that helped me today, was leaning not to catastrophize about my BPD. I realized for the first time that I have been doing that constantly. I have been telling myself (wordlessly, of course) that I will never recover, that I am not as far along in my recovery as I thought I was, and that I am only fooling myself when I think I can get better. Thank you for pointing this out to me. I am so grateful for your channel, for your compassion towards those of us who suffer from BPD. Another important take-away today is the 80% recovery rate and hope that I CAN recover. Borderline personality disorder is treatable. I am going to be better about seeing how far I've come, instead of kicking myself for still qualifying for BPD because I have come a very long way. I am 6 months clean from drugs! I work hard every day to get better. I am going to give myself credit for that.
I like the topic word placed above you. Pls continue w it. Could you speak on blaming others and anger as a distraction from dealing w difficult uncomfortable situations?
Dr Fox, I seriously cannot thank you enough. I have watched many of your videos and they have all been very helpful, supportive and motivating. You have brought me hope where none existed.
I don’t have bpd but I do have PTSD and I definitely resort to catastrophizing when I know I have to face the source of original trauma (medical negligence). If I assume the worst (when I have to interact with healthcare system) then anything other outcome is a positive situation. After being hurt repeatedly I keep my expectations super low.
Dr. Fox I cannot thank you enough for offering this information to us. Emotionally I am in a difficult place right now, and I would not be coping as well as I am without the help of your workbook and informational videos.
What i have found is when things are calm in my life or just peaceful and still , i start to find ways to catastrophise or create a drama that must be coming my way
you are one of the few specialists who talk on the same level as the patient or your client, who don't even talk about clichés. who consider BLP just a bunch of symptons each one of which you take the bother to understand deeply. who talk to a BLP-diagnosed as a person and not considering them as pure insanity. it's not just about BLP but about all kinds of the so called mental disorders and how people usually feel them as a threaten instead of no common lifestyles that can drive the humans who suffer it away from society. i'm very thankful for your knowledge and wisdom
Thank you for understanding, explaining and believing in us Dr. Fox. I have never felt so understood and hopeful. I carry a lot of shame from my way of thinking, secretly knowing how deeply needy and empty I am has been embarrassing. I was diagnosed at 15 but never fully understood or addressed it. I'm 28 now and your videos have helped me accept and open up to my S/O about my diagnosis after two years of being together. I had him watch your videos too and we are both blown away by how much sense this makes. Thank you for helping me face this head on and wrap my mind around it. Every video just resonates with something deep within me. I feel like I can fight this way of thinking.
This is an excellent video. Thank you for posting. One of my favorite strategies you mentioned is to keep reminding myself that I am strong, resilient & tenacious and will handle whatever comes along. Very powerful strategy. Thank you again!
I used to do a lot of meditation and now I realize it's not enough, we need to gain awareness on our particular bad habits. And that with meditation can be a way out of a dark place. Thank you so much it helps a lot.
I have Dr Fox's book and I honestly recommend it. Great help for people whose lives have been broken by BPD and complete lack of belief of health professionals in recovery at times.
Yep. I have always, ALWAYS expected the worst and hoped for the best so I wasn't let down. I never realized how that impacted my life negatively. My bf tells me I'm so negative I would answer back that I'm just being realistic. But I never realized that this was something that people with bpd did. Thank you for making this video and making me aware of this.
Useful information. I am grateful that someone here is available to give us another point of view on people's "catastrophizing" practice. I know I often has this tendency, and I tend to conceptualize it as 1) I have insufficient knowledge about the world, 2) I need to catastrophize and think of the potential problems so that I can prepare for them, and so that I can become safe and successful like other people, 3) I am not sure what part of my being and mental functioning should I change and adjust so that I can really avoid the potential problems, and 4) I never get any affirming or falsifying feedback from the "world" so to know the proper magnitude should I have for my preparedness of potential problems, so that I can move my attention on to something else. And I then is "hanging" in that wondering state. I never thought of my condition as too borderline before. I tend to view that I was deprived in guidance and parental support in my upbringing although my parents are there to satisfy my basic survival needs. However, I couldn't manage to learn the method of how my parents reach to this current social-economic level and success through observing their everyday's practices, so that I have to build myself models of how the outside world actually function, how actually my parents behaved in workplace, how they are fortunate of getting what they currently have even though they are actually less competent to other couples who is having this current standard of living, through "imagination", and to use their every day actions and behaviours as "signs" or "symbols" to attach my wondering of their functioning and success.
I think I am trying to pair up other's externally displaying behaviours with my speculation and wondering or model building of how that individual reached to that current state of being, instead of learning the rationale of other's actions, compare them with my own, and see if I can learn from their practices so to improve my own, in order for me to achieve my own goals in a more successful manner.
I used to think that I lack a caretaker who oversees my past development, oversees the functioning of the society, understand my potentials, and is willing to give me continuous guidance in my pursuit of goals.
I experienced some catastrophizing today, such as feeling that I will never be able to feel as happy as I was when I was a child. It’s difficult to rationalize when those really dark feelings appear, but I will try your strategies. Your videos actually make for great distractions so thanks for that!
I run away from everyone and everything....which causes me to create the catastrophe for myself. I manufacture and orchestrate the abandonment I dread so much. Painful life.
You're so awesome, Dr. Fox. You're so informative on BPD, and so much of your stuff is so spot on and actually helps. I've been in the process of trying to unlearn certain thought and behavior patterns and am trying to be more mindful with how I think, feel, and react. It definitely takes time, especially the more severe things are, like you said, but you have to start somewhere. Everything is progress, even if it is gradual. Just thanks for everything you do to try to help those of us with BPD and realizing many with it went through some serious things in their lives. It honestly helps to try to remember that to not completely beat myself up, which I do a lot for so many things and my episodes, etc. It definitely makes it hard when people around don't understand and demonize and shame things, too. I know accountability matters, too, but I think at certain points it can sort of push someone backwards and hinder them (especially if it isn't done in an appropriate manner). I think people usually need to be at a certain stage to take on certain things like that, especially in different areas. I think you can really help lead different people in that direction, though, and towards the right path. Keep doing what you do. ❤
i appreciate your videos so much, you really help me learn more about how to cope with my bpd and make me realize stuff i never wouldve realized without you talking about them. thank you for posting
I really need this right now I'm struggling with catastrophising after a bpd impulsive mess up. I really thought i wasn't going to make it through last night because I lost control over my emotions and for a minute the direction of my life. Thankfully my diagnosis means when that downwards spiral starts to happen and I'm losing grip of everything i can have that moment of clarity and remember this is my bpd and i can find my way back no matter how hard it is every time.
Looking good Dr. 🦊 The blue shirt looks great on you. And what a fantastic video. Thank you so much. I've noticed my badly developed sense of autonomy links into my catastrophizing. I think I won't be able to achieve things (often academically related) and that causes depressive feelings and increase in stress. I've noticed I get stuck in the distraction phase. Internal dialogue completely shuts down and I try to keep things quiet by focusing on like said gaming or TH-cam, Netflix whatever else. After distraction thoughts must be challenged and faced or how else will things change For me writing in a journal helps. And also making word webs to organize my thoughts and to think of practical solutions.
I do this a lot with potential relationships. I automatically think and feel that the guy wants nothing to do with me or that I'm not worry enough and he's either being nice and not saying it or he's a narc and is using me. Its really A struggle especially when things are going good and he gets quiet on me or he gets busy with his own life stuff and I start thinking I did something wrong, I screwed up, and I start going back over everything i said when we last spoke and I analyze and dissect trying to figure out where I messed up. And when I can't find anything obvious, I tart scenarios and dialogue in my head about what or why this happened. I've learned to start questioning those but I still struggle because they seem to be stronger then my rational positive talk. (My angel and demon arguments lol) Even when I have someone who knows me and know the way I am who is there to talk me down when I start, I still struggle getting out of my head about it. Definitely find myself splitting at some point along the way. Thank you for giving me some ideas to try and slow it down and hopefully eventually stop it in its tracks. ❤
I wish I had you on speed dial. I live in South Africa. Been diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists with bpd only a couple years ago. At the age of 27 it is not easy to make big life decisions I should be making as an adult.
YES! I used catastrophizing today to manipulate my daughter...who was trying to control/ torture me, to give me what I want SOONER. Not later. I was not excessive. It is definitely a SKILL. Projecting my worries out there to my daughter IF I don't get what she has.
I love watching every one of your videos on BPD. They are very informative, insightful, sometimes makes me feel sad too. I am diagnosed with BPD. I'm still on a journey to live through it, and be better at working around it.
I am so grateful because I found your channel and now I can benefit of your experience with this giant problem I am facing. I had a terrible period of more than 6 months after losing my favorite person. Now I am trying to stand up and you are being so helpful.
I don't have bpd, but Dr. Fox's explanations are comprehensive, easy to understand and simply amazing... and I like learning. I definitely catastrophize a lot... about everything... so this video is very helpful.
So informative and helpful and well said- What works for me, and it took a year to get there all the time- Since I’m a physical being, my consciousness is more than my thoughts- so I learned to observe them without the emotion - and now I actually laugh at the negative story of my thoughts because they sound ridiculous where I used to believe them
I love your videos. They are so informative. Recently, my Mental Health providers have started charging co-pays. I can not afford to pay these co-pays. So I started catastrophizing. I’m not getting the care I need... what if I can’t see my Psychiatrist...I will not be able to get my medication...Social Security Disability will be cut off because I’m not going as often as I was...I will lose my home...I have no place to go...I will be homeless... So I really appreciate your addressing this topic. You really are helping people with your videos. Please keep doing what you’re doing. And I will take all of the coping skillsI can get. Thank you Dr. Fox
I’m so thankful I’ve found your videos. You are very understanding and don’t condemn those with this disorder. You have helped me understand myself more than I ever have through therapy or just being medicated by some psychs. Thank you so much for all of your videos
By God's Grace I've been sober 12 years alcohol and pot 2 yrs the last month I've been slammed with bad news after and another awful awful news in family Dr ur videos are awesome thank you. Ty for this video I love ur wisdom
Definitely one of my fave videos. I have it saved, so that when I’m Catastrophizing, I can watch it. It almost always helps me calm down. Ambiguity is def a trigger for me. Having to wait for an outcome is tough. I read this article once that stuck with me, and it said when you’re imagining the worst, tell/ask yourself these things: 1) how likely is it to happen?; 2) is it happening right now?; and 3) am I creating my own suffering my worrying?...I also tell myself that I can handle anything that comes to me. Dr Fox was right about clients being “survivors/livers”-I think I def subscribe to a “you’re not taking me down” kind of attitude. I also think catastrophe thinking comes from a lower self esteem place driven by “I can’t do it/I’m not sure of myself/they don’t like me” kinda of thought process rather than a self assuring one. I try to remember and focus on “do I like me,” instead of worrying if others like me.
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This man needs a hell of a lot more views. This is the most professional and knowledgeable psychologist I have ever seen. I am educated upon psychology myself and I am thankful to have found your thoughts and analysis that goes beyond what I have seen so far.
Right this guy is incredible. His videos have been more helpful than any therapy session in my entire life
@@SerialHustler wow that puts it into perspective!
Absolutely!
I am right there w you. This guy uses examples and simplicity, he talks to everyone- on all levels.. this is extremely helpful because he starts w the symptoms- then follows all the way through until suggested solutions- in 15 minutes, he manages to be encouraging and educational- exceeding most clinicians I have seen
What a blessing
When you're freaking out, ask yourself always whether you've eaten. Lower blood sugar can cause a lot of anxiety and irritability. Taking care of yourself and your body could help reduce possible influences.
great advice I have noticed in me that thirst manifests as depression and paranoia HALT!
Thanks
when i get hungry. i explode
Yes, there is a mind to gut connection big time. Symptoms can improve with probiotics also!
Zoe Guzman I so needed to see this comment. Thank you
I do this all the time too. I love how Dr Fox is so optimistic about us recovering.
Hes truly a clinician to be deeply appreciated.
💯
He is awesome 👏🏾
Yesssss he says it with so much loveee thankful for hom
His workbooks are so empathic and understanding.
Slow responses to texts or messages kill me inside. This video is a mirror 😩
K Norway you wouldn’t like me then, I hate speaking on the phone or texting. My friends know this though and don’t expect it much from me.
@@tracik1277 nah i need to work on my rejection sensitivity 😒
K Norway 🌹
Yeah
Ditto... Drives me to actual suicide ideation
Being able to listen to someone talk about BPD issues makes me able to relate and recognize what's actually happening to me.
In therapy I feel like I'm just talking, I never know if I'm talking about the right things and dont feel I get a response as to what it is and what's happening to me.
Does anyone else feel this way?
These videos help me so much. Thank you
Battydragon yes. I’ve had several therapists recently and have felt I was never getting the realization/‘click’/epiphany I need to change. Lots of talking, venting, explaining. About to start a new therapist now too!
And I DO catch myself doing this. I was just doing this tonight on the way home, with such a really negative and limited mental bandwidth “I’m never gonna move to a new city” or “Nobody is going to want to love me or want me”.
There’s a lot of ‘impossibles’ when I’m really stuck in this groove and it just makes me more angrier at myself and the world.
Yes! I'm just finding out about bpd and I can relate to this in my therapy appointments.
Same
YES! God Blessed All Of Us!💞🌷💪🙏
Childhood trauma will do that to you and having a mom with BPD and a drinking narcissistic father. I was always in fight/flight/freeze as a child. And depression as far back as kindergarten 😪
The story of my life.... literally.
Yup
Absolutely, can relate 100%.
@@ritaknak1741 I think there are a lot of us who had similar experiences. I read the comments of others and feel the same way, “that happened to me.” I hope you’re on a path to good mental health and happiness. It’s been a journey for me. Sending you good wishes.
Oh wow those are like my parents too! Well my mom is mainly a codependent but does have bpd traits. But my dad is the alcoholic narcissist!! My condolences friend 🙏
The no immediate response to someone with BPD will cause one to go immediately into worst case scenario. This has destroyed a few of my relationships. You also feel like they are doing it just for the purpose of hurting you.
When I was younger I would literally vomit before going to a party or getting severely anxious before going to a concert or event. Even when I was with friends, it was hard to regulate my emotions, even though I really did want to have fun and have experiences! So...now I’m older and all my life I have pushed myself, which has paid off. Now if I could just over come ruminating thoughts, texting anxiety, will anyone ever love me issues...I’d be great! Lol!! You just have to re direct mind constantly, and hope you learn some new patterns! My best wishes to all, who also suffer from BPD!
For me as a man with bpd, financial stress, heated arguments with my wife are both very strong triggers of catastrophizing
Thanks, Dr. Fox. I’ve watched nearly all of your videos on BPD. I was diagnosed many years ago but don’t have the insurance or financial means for help with it. This video is a very different topic than you have previously discussed (that I know of at least) and it’s a major piece of the puzzle that I was struggling to find answers for. I catastophize nearly all day everyday. I thought it was just anxiety but I believe now that this may not always be caused by my anxiety but in fact it likely is what’s causing a lot of my anxiety. I will definitely try to use the advice you have given to at least slow down the rate that I catastrophize.
Your videos are the therapy and guidance that I need now that I can’t afford to get the actual therapies and help that I need. You’re making a huge impact, Dr. Fox and I greatly appreciate the time you take to make these videos. You help me find hope, when not long ago, I didn’t think I would ever find hope. Thank you.
Even if you could afford help its so difficult to find anyone who works with ppl with bpd. I havnt been able to find anyone. I have no money either. I see therapists & they dont get it. I already feel like an alien. Its like Im speaking a language noone understands .If only there were more like Dr Fox around
You can but the DBT books and look up Marsha Linehan
I can convince myself of a great deal more since covid and news about anything can spin me out for...ever. Got a crochet hobby and found your channel and am not catastrophizing about anything today. Its real, I see it. Do you think covid has been actively involved in difficulty for BPD?
Destiny, I hope you feel better now a couple years since you wrote your comment. A lot of notable people have bpd and by the way may have been misdignosed with bipolar. The person that comes to mind is Dusty Springfield. (Lots of youtube videos and couple of documentaries.) She pulled herself out of years of cocaine and alcohol and made a world class "comeback" with the Pet Shop Boys in the 80's Her life story ended up on Broadway before the pandemic .She is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Also received the Order of the British Empire (OBE) from the queen in her native England. Several biographies have been written. A real musical genius. Best wishes.
Blessings!💞💪🙏
What has helped me most for catastrophizing is visualizing ALL possible outcomes. Being rational and immediately arguing with myself by challenging that catastrophy. Yeah, the worst could happen, but the best is just as possible, so why should I worry. What will be will be. It's becoming more and more automatic with time too! I'll add the positive reminders about myself after doing the rationalizing. Thank you for this video, it's helped me after a rough day.
Wow…. thank you so much for this… simply replacing the outcome with a positive one hasn’t helped me much, but your idea is already changing the game for me 😍
I have been catastrophising my entire life.
Was diagnosed 10 years ago but didn't accept or research to realise this is actually me!!!
The BPD 'label' wasn't something I was willing to own but recently, it has freed me.
Thankyou so much! 🙂🙏
Have ordered your workbook, I reside in South Australia so may take a while to arrive but excited all the same.
My son needs for me to make changes.
I want to learn to love who I am also.
I'm a good Mum and person but catastrophe me doesn't agree 😂
I endeavour to watch an episode of your channel each night when I'm starting to internally unravel.
You've honestly changed my life and I thankyou grately 🙂
I do this all the time and I never even realized it was a specific symptom. If my boyfriend leaves and doesn't answer me for a while, I get ridiculously worried and tend to assume he must've died. I used to cry every single day before work and freak out thinking "I can't handle this today and I'm going to do something stupid or wrong and I'm gonna lose my job, maybe I just shouldn't go". I don't usually feel like I can do anything on my own without feeling like I'm going to mess it up or be perceived as stupid or unstable. The fight, flight, or freeze thing is so real for me. I try very hard to calm myself when I feel this way, but often times I'll either lash out at who I'm closest to at the time(started with my parents as a teenager and now it's usually my boyfriend or my best friend) that used to be how I'd handle it most of the time but trying to recognize and deal with that one has been really hard for me. Now when I feel it coming I'll often just shut down or dissociate bc dealing with it seems so hard at the time and at least I'm not lashing out at a person I love.
I've found recognizing my symptoms and watching these videos specifically have helped me so much, but it's still really hard, even if I could get the therapy I'm sure it would still be so hard. I have loving and supportive people in my life and not pushing them away or trying as hard as I can to not treat them poorly has actually been the most uplifting part of this journey to recovery. ACCEPTING love from people instead of assuming they have some ulterior motive or it's eventually going to turn to shit anyway. I haven't made the feelings completely subside but I can recognize that it's my disorder talking and if I want to get better I need to let people love me. It feels like a big step even though I know there's so much more to learn.
Thank you Dr. Fox for being one of the only mental health professionals on TH-cam who actually delves into the disorder and explains it in understandable terms. You've helped me so much and continue to with every new video, thank you!!
Amazing thankyou for sharing i too will LET people love me 💖🌻🙏🌺💓
Good luck to you, I feel you and hope and pray you can break thru
I was diagnosed with BPD . Hearing and reading about BPD felt like a punch to the gut. I had so much emotions about this personality disorder.
Same. I felt like they gave me a death sentence, like I was a maladaptive human. It hurt me so much 💔
I needed this today, I procrastinated for 5 hours today as I attempted to write my first lab report at university. I managed to produce 1 sentence in that time due to catastrophising and berating myself like a self grown terrorist in my own mind to the point that I ended up disabling myself from producing more than that 1 sentence. I left feeling despondent and useless, but I’m going to stick at it even if it kills me. I’m attempting to study psychology, I believe in it and most of all I need it. Tomorrow I’m going to try again and this time I will attempt to use the skills and suggestions you’ve outlined in this video. Thanks for sharing this advice ⭐️
This hit home. All your videos do. I’ve struggled with my borderline for years and feel so thankful I found you.
Sir, you’re the closest thing to therapy I’m able to have at this moment, through a very difficult time. Thank you so so so so much.
Same here. I guess for most of us, "therapy" is a lonely process, and we have to be both our therapist and our patient😅
I have lost trust in psychiatrists and other mental health's specialists anyway.
So this format is ideal, and Dr Fox is very gentle with bpd people.
Great video, Dr. Daniel! Please make a video about how bpd loved ones should coping when they isolate themselves and starting to ignoring you for no reason.
Yes, like I'm stable and he isn't and I think he's breaking up with me right this second, holy fuck, 4 years, my baby daddy, idk what to do and noone is awake
Please do a video on this my boyfriend is doing just this and I’m trying to be supportive and understanding. So he doesn’t feel shamed.
You’re a great person for putting in the work. I know it’s not easy as someone w/BPD who has bad troubled relationships. 🧡 to you.
As a FP of a BPD, I can relate that the smallest slights from others that may have nothing to do with her, she will interpret as a total catastrophe aimed at destroying her specifically
Yes ! My boyfriend is like that
What if I distract too much? I find myself constantly listening to something or watching a video on TH-cam to distract myself from thinking in general. I catastrophize so much it caused me to drop out of school and it affects me every day at work
This is me, too. Distracting myself and disassociating have become my only certified coping mechanisms, and as a result I have become completely disengaged in my life. I was "fine" with that until it started interfering with my ability to work or even want to work. Have you found anything to pull you back yet?
A new day helps me. And dr fox. And folks care u don't know helps me think better about my bpd.
Im exactly the same, take care everyone🙏🏼
Me too, I haven’t been able to get to sleep without the tv on in years... cannot shut out my thoughts in silence
ugh
same here
i get everything done, but ALWAYS w headphones on.
i have my headphones on ALL day. the silver lining is that i've listened to some very good content on podcasts, interesting books and good music.
Dr Daniel, you are a godsend. I was diagnosed with CPTSD , ADHD and BPD at age of 40. I was always different, so angry, frustrated from minute I woke up until I laid down being unable to sleep. I'd run and still do, worst case scenario in my head whether it's past, present, or future. Your videos are very helpful yet easy to understand. Keep on educating us, you have a gift. Thank you so much for doing these videos. I'm just starting to understand and getting to know myself after all these years. Trauma after trauma, we become different, our brain rewires and it's unfortunate. Unlearning old behavior is germane to our future. I'm a masterpiece in progress. Blessings Doctor Daniel.
"Trauma after trauma, we become different, our brain rewires and it's unfortunate. Unlearning old behavior is germane to our future. I'm a masterpiece in progress."
This is brilliantly beautiful and accurate, writing this down. Thank you
zaneta monika sekulski liuliulil
I catastrophised yesterday when my long distance boyfriend stopped watching s show we put on together from afar to have a shower and didn't tell me. I thought 'he can't love me or care about me. I care too much, I have to pull back or punish him.' Now I see it more clearly and think so what? He didn't communicate effectively and so I misunderstood him - that's the shade of grey.
Ohhh yes i recognise that pattern....oh yes i too pull back feel the urge to punish them, n secretly feel that's the only way I can withhold thier love, that's the only way I can keep it coming
Good for you for noticing it and stopping it!!! I wish I was there too! But soon!!!! Anything that helped you? Or just taking a broader look and finding the gray?
I would immediately feel like I did something wrong of he didn't want to talk to me or I was boring him. I do this anytime someone I like even as a friend doesn't text me right away
If you love your boyfriend, why do you feel the need to punish (hurt) him? Genuinely want to understand.
@silvershadow7655 I am not sure if my answer is correct, but I have a loved one that does this to me at times. I think it may have to do with the "splitting" seeing me as all good or all bad. The fear of abandonment emotion is so painful he lashes out. I am trying to set boundries because I am tired of being disrespected during his punishment rage splitting. He had a horrible childhood and I understand his pain and want to be supportive but not reinforce this behavior. I am learning so much through this wonderful doctor. I love his encouraging people with BPD.
This is the issue I have the most difficulty in. Thank you for the insightful video and tools, Dr. Fox! I always appreciate all the vids you upload immensely, especially the BPD ones. My negativity is a way of survival and you're right, it's a hard way to live. It's so heartbreaking to think anyone has to live like this, so I don't know how I can let myself live like this at all. Trying to be better one step at a time.
Soft hugs to everyone here in turmoil. I hope we all make it through.
Awww soft hugs for u tooo 💯💖🙏🌻💓🌺
I just want to share how much I get from your videos. You sound non-judgmental and really seem to get what we are going through. They really help me and I have referred your videos out many times. Thank you so much!!!
Absolutely spot on as usual Dr Fox. I have to say your knowledge of our crippling condition is second to none, your videos are doing SO much good, particularly as most of us either cannot afford or access good treatment, you really are making a huge difference. Thankyou 🙏🙏🙏
So true thankyou doc thankyou so much 💓🌺🙏🌻💖💯
Well said!
Thank you so much for all of your videos... you really understand people with BPD, all you are saying is truth... It's like you're in my head...This is very helpful.
I've always said that I prefer to set myself up for the worst, because if it happens, I'll be prepared, and if it turns out that it's not so bad, it will positively surprise me ... And I convince myself that this way I avoid disappointments. Only it doesn't work like that ... I torment myself with bad thoughts and fears and I don't know how to change it because I can't think about anything else if I'm worried about something. I try to do different things to distract myself, to not to think about the worst, but when I'm stressed, my thoughts overwhelm me.
I have ptsd and I have problems with thinking this way too. Fight or flight reactions. Thank you for bringing light to this matter.
Thank you! Can you do a video on bpd and the feeling of emptiness/boredom and also one on fear of intimacy? Thanks:)
Haley Bean yes!!
Up
Thank you for doing this video having a medical procedure today under anesthesia yes theirs always the risk, with any type of surgery. Realistically the percentage of having something drastic happening is fairly low. Hopefully l can look back and say " my worried thoughts were out of proportion." Slow my thinking down"
Thank you, Dr Fox! All the examples you mentioned: never going to find a solid and meaningful relationship, going to be without job and homeless, mom & dad were right, in ambiguity we conjure thoughts that other people are negatively talking about us behind their back, if the worst does not happen then pleasantly surprised thus persistent anxiety that exhausts and require alleviation... incredibly accurate to the exact letter on thoughts I'm undergoing currently. This video means so much to navigate those difficulties. Wish I knew these when I was younger, so that its easier to change, but really glad that there is such a treasure trove of information such as your video
It really is impressive how very well you understand the nuances of the way these individuals think, believe, behave and perceive the world around them; that's not meant to be flattery either. I suspect it has taken you years of research and many therapeutic relationships with people who suffer from BPD to gather the body of knowledge and understanding you have.
It really is so very generous of you to share this so freely on TH-cam, as this is one population that really needs a clinician who genuinely understands how they think, feel and believe. Thank you for being that kind of clinician; there seem to be so few of you in existence.
thank you Dr.Fox you are an angel.
Fascinating and informative. Thanks for providing strategies to manage and ease tendency to catastrophize (is that a word?).
My tendency is to play out worst case scenario in my mind. Whether it is facing job loss, severe financial difficulties (current situation), bad relationships, inability to reach out to others, seeking help.
My mind will ruminate around different versions of worst case scenario, for example financial ruin or bankruptcy. And conclude either that no one else cares, or that I’m powerless to change the course of events.
This feeling of helplessness, inability to find a way forward, is rooted in self doubt, feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem, and lack of self determination.
Beautifullly put....thank you for sharing your wisdom
I do this also. How are you now?
I really struggle with this. It’s like 90% of my thoughts. Thanks for this helpful video!! I knew I was doing this but couldn’t put my finger on what it was exactly
Me too
You are a wonderful clinician, educator, and human being and are making a tremendous difference in the world. Your compassionate, hopeful attitude towards people with BPD is genuinely lifesaving.
I am so grateful I found this channel. I have found most therapists don't even attempt to recognize BPD at all. I had to point it out myself. Just last month, I had an altercation with my neighbor. I started worrying they would retaliate. I even thought, oh my god, what if she poisons my dogs now? I started watching them every minute I left them outside. Then I got asked to go to a huge meeting for work ... 4 hours away, in a very large city, to stay overnight, and go out to dinner. My anxiety went into full gear and I swear I thought of every horrible scenario possible. This is so debilitating, but now that I know what it is, I feel like I can move forward.
I’m so glad you found the video helpful. Be well.
I love this channel so much! Everytime I click on a video I learn so much, I feel like I'm in class learning how my own brain works and how to deal with it haha
That is very kind of you to say. I'm so glad they're helpful :)
Thank you for being positive when talking about BPD makes me feel not so hopeless. I'm so grateful that I found your page.
I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.
Every time I watch this video, I learn something new. I have been on my BPD recovery journey for 15 months. I have gotten to the point where I can realize that I am engaging in a maladaptive behavior because of the intense anxiety that goes along with maladaptive beliefs, but I am having trouble identifying the triggers and the specific behaviors while the situation is happening. This causes a lot of confusion for me and it can lead to a string of very bad days.
One of the topics in this video that helped me today, was leaning not to catastrophize about my BPD. I realized for the first time that I have been doing that constantly. I have been telling myself (wordlessly, of course) that I will never recover, that I am not as far along in my recovery as I thought I was, and that I am only fooling myself when I think I can get better.
Thank you for pointing this out to me. I am so grateful for your channel, for your compassion towards those of us who suffer from BPD. Another important take-away today is the 80% recovery rate and hope that I CAN recover. Borderline personality disorder is treatable. I am going to be better about seeing how far I've come, instead of kicking myself for still qualifying for BPD because I have come a very long way. I am 6 months clean from drugs! I work hard every day to get better. I am going to give myself credit for that.
I like the topic word placed above you. Pls continue w it.
Could you speak on blaming others and anger as a distraction from dealing w difficult uncomfortable situations?
Dr Fox, I seriously cannot thank you enough. I have watched many of your videos and they have all been very helpful, supportive and motivating. You have brought me hope where none existed.
+Apollo Ace 🦊👍
I don’t have bpd but I do have PTSD and I definitely resort to catastrophizing when I know I have to face the source of original trauma (medical negligence). If I assume the worst (when I have to interact with healthcare system) then anything other outcome is a positive situation. After being hurt repeatedly I keep my expectations super low.
I love your videos thank you for being a light we all need as people with BPD watching
Dr Fox I don’t know how Else i can thank you… you truly opened my eyes. Knowledge really is power.
this is my main struggle in bpd thank you so much
I think this is one of your BEST videos . You hit the nail on the head -beating life to the punch to make it worse than it is ...
Dr. Fox I cannot thank you enough for offering this information to us. Emotionally I am in a difficult place right now, and I would not be coping as well as I am without the help of your workbook and informational videos.
I’m trying so hard not to cry. This is so true
What i have found is when things are calm in my life or just peaceful and still , i start to find ways to catastrophise or create a drama that must be coming my way
You are the therapist everyone with a personality disorder needs. Thank you for your help!
Thanks for saying that. Be well.
I find myself laughing because this is EXACTLY WHAT MY BRAIN does and listening this person sound crazy as hell 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
you are one of the few specialists who talk on the same level as the patient or your client, who don't even talk about clichés. who consider BLP just a bunch of symptons each one of which you take the bother to understand deeply. who talk to a BLP-diagnosed as a person and not considering them as pure insanity. it's not just about BLP but about all kinds of the so called mental disorders and how people usually feel them as a threaten instead of no common lifestyles that can drive the humans who suffer it away from society. i'm very thankful for your knowledge and wisdom
Yep! That's me...these episodes don't last too long anymore now...thank you Dr Fox
Thank you for understanding, explaining and believing in us Dr. Fox. I have never felt so understood and hopeful. I carry a lot of shame from my way of thinking, secretly knowing how deeply needy and empty I am has been embarrassing. I was diagnosed at 15 but never fully understood or addressed it. I'm 28 now and your videos have helped me accept and open up to my S/O about my diagnosis after two years of being together. I had him watch your videos too and we are both blown away by how much sense this makes. Thank you for helping me face this head on and wrap my mind around it. Every video just resonates with something deep within me. I feel like I can fight this way of thinking.
This is an excellent video. Thank you for posting. One of my favorite strategies you mentioned is to keep reminding myself that I am strong, resilient & tenacious and will handle whatever comes along. Very powerful strategy. Thank you again!
This now makes so much sense. From the opening line
You are keeping me alive Dr Fox👏
I used to do a lot of meditation and now I realize it's not enough, we need to gain awareness on our particular bad habits. And that with meditation can be a way out of a dark place. Thank you so much it helps a lot.
I have Dr Fox's book and I honestly recommend it. Great help for people whose lives have been broken by BPD and complete lack of belief of health professionals in recovery at times.
thank you.
I love your videos. And I love the moon on the fence!!! Thank you for helping so many people💕💕💕
Yep. I have always, ALWAYS expected the worst and hoped for the best so I wasn't let down. I never realized how that impacted my life negatively. My bf tells me I'm so negative I would answer back that I'm just being realistic. But I never realized that this was something that people with bpd did. Thank you for making this video and making me aware of this.
It’s comforting having this dude here
I'm so happy I found you Dr Daniel. 🥰.
Useful information. I am grateful that someone here is available to give us another point of view on people's "catastrophizing" practice. I know I often has this tendency, and I tend to conceptualize it as 1) I have insufficient knowledge about the world, 2) I need to catastrophize and think of the potential problems so that I can prepare for them, and so that I can become safe and successful like other people, 3) I am not sure what part of my being and mental functioning should I change and adjust so that I can really avoid the potential problems, and 4) I never get any affirming or falsifying feedback from the "world" so to know the proper magnitude should I have for my preparedness of potential problems, so that I can move my attention on to something else. And I then is "hanging" in that wondering state.
I never thought of my condition as too borderline before. I tend to view that I was deprived in guidance and parental support in my upbringing although my parents are there to satisfy my basic survival needs. However, I couldn't manage to learn the method of how my parents reach to this current social-economic level and success through observing their everyday's practices, so that I have to build myself models of how the outside world actually function, how actually my parents behaved in workplace, how they are fortunate of getting what they currently have even though they are actually less competent to other couples who is having this current standard of living, through "imagination", and to use their every day actions and behaviours as "signs" or "symbols" to attach my wondering of their functioning and success.
I think I am trying to pair up other's externally displaying behaviours with my speculation and wondering or model building of how that individual reached to that current state of being, instead of learning the rationale of other's actions, compare them with my own, and see if I can learn from their practices so to improve my own, in order for me to achieve my own goals in a more successful manner.
I used to think that I lack a caretaker who oversees my past development, oversees the functioning of the society, understand my potentials, and is willing to give me continuous guidance in my pursuit of goals.
I experienced some catastrophizing today, such as feeling that I will never be able to feel as happy as I was when I was a child. It’s difficult to rationalize when those really dark feelings appear, but I will try your strategies. Your videos actually make for great distractions so thanks for that!
I come back to this video all the time. I can’t explain how grateful I am for these videos. Thank you, Dr. Fox, for your work.
I run away from everyone and everything....which causes me to create the catastrophe for myself. I manufacture and orchestrate the abandonment I dread so much. Painful life.
+Marissa Forte learn strategies to break the cycle. It’s possible.
Thank you Dr. Fox, I wish you were my therapist!
That’s very kind of you to say and I’m glad that you found the video helpful. I wish you all the best.
You're so awesome, Dr. Fox. You're so informative on BPD, and so much of your stuff is so spot on and actually helps. I've been in the process of trying to unlearn certain thought and behavior patterns and am trying to be more mindful with how I think, feel, and react.
It definitely takes time, especially the more severe things are, like you said, but you have to start somewhere. Everything is progress, even if it is gradual.
Just thanks for everything you do to try to help those of us with BPD and realizing many with it went through some serious things in their lives. It honestly helps to try to remember that to not completely beat myself up, which I do a lot for so many things and my episodes, etc.
It definitely makes it hard when people around don't understand and demonize and shame things, too. I know accountability matters, too, but I think at certain points it can sort of push someone backwards and hinder them (especially if it isn't done in an appropriate manner). I think people usually need to be at a certain stage to take on certain things like that, especially in different areas.
I think you can really help lead different people in that direction, though, and towards the right path. Keep doing what you do. ❤
i appreciate your videos so much, you really help me learn more about how to cope with my bpd and make me realize stuff i never wouldve realized without you talking about them. thank you for posting
I'm so glad to hear that my videos are helping you cope with BPD! Your support means a lot to me.
I really need this right now I'm struggling with catastrophising after a bpd impulsive mess up. I really thought i wasn't going to make it through last night because I lost control over my emotions and for a minute the direction of my life. Thankfully my diagnosis means when that downwards spiral starts to happen and I'm losing grip of everything i can have that moment of clarity and remember this is my bpd and i can find my way back no matter how hard it is every time.
Looking good Dr. 🦊 The blue shirt looks great on you. And what a fantastic video. Thank you so much.
I've noticed my badly developed sense of autonomy links into my catastrophizing. I think I won't be able to achieve things (often academically related) and that causes depressive feelings and increase in stress. I've noticed I get stuck in the distraction phase. Internal dialogue completely shuts down and I try to keep things quiet by focusing on like said gaming or TH-cam, Netflix whatever else. After distraction thoughts must be challenged and faced or how else will things change
For me writing in a journal helps. And also making word webs to organize my thoughts and to think of practical solutions.
I’m having a bad breakdown this week and it’s the second time I watch this video, you articulate all my feelings and this is really helpful 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I do this a lot with potential relationships. I automatically think and feel that the guy wants nothing to do with me or that I'm not worry enough and he's either being nice and not saying it or he's a narc and is using me. Its really A struggle especially when things are going good and he gets quiet on me or he gets busy with his own life stuff and I start thinking I did something wrong, I screwed up, and I start going back over everything i said when we last spoke and I analyze and dissect trying to figure out where I messed up. And when I can't find anything obvious, I tart scenarios and dialogue in my head about what or why this happened. I've learned to start questioning those but I still struggle because they seem to be stronger then my rational positive talk. (My angel and demon arguments lol) Even when I have someone who knows me and know the way I am who is there to talk me down when I start, I still struggle getting out of my head about it. Definitely find myself splitting at some point along the way. Thank you for giving me some ideas to try and slow it down and hopefully eventually stop it in its tracks. ❤
I'm happy and grateful to be here.
I wish I had you on speed dial. I live in South Africa. Been diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists with bpd only a couple years ago. At the age of 27 it is not easy to make big life decisions I should be making as an adult.
Holy shit this is so accurate..... dear god I’m not crazy or psychotic.... thank you for this truly 🙏
YES!
I used catastrophizing today to manipulate my daughter...who was trying to control/ torture me, to give me what I want SOONER.
Not later.
I was not excessive.
It is definitely a SKILL.
Projecting my worries out there to my daughter IF I don't get what she has.
OMG I wish I lived in TX! This Dr. Is amazing! He was speaking to me to a point I wanted to get up and clap.👏👏👏👏
I love watching every one of your videos on BPD. They are very informative, insightful, sometimes makes me feel sad too. I am diagnosed with BPD. I'm still on a journey to live through it, and be better at working around it.
I am so grateful because I found your channel and now I can benefit of your experience with this giant problem I am facing. I had a terrible period of more than 6 months after losing my favorite person. Now I am trying to stand up and you are being so helpful.
I’m glad it’s helping and stand tall!
Dr. Fox, thank you for all these videos. I love learning this knowledge you are sharing.
Dr. Fox! You are my favorite therapist for BPD on TH-cam! It's like you know me in person! Thank you so much again for such a helpful video!
I don't have bpd, but Dr. Fox's explanations are comprehensive, easy to understand and simply amazing... and I like learning. I definitely catastrophize a lot... about everything... so this video is very helpful.
I love that you’re outside
So informative and helpful and well said-
What works for me, and it took a year to get there all the time-
Since I’m a physical being, my consciousness is more than my thoughts- so I learned to observe them without the emotion - and now I actually laugh at the negative story of my thoughts because they sound ridiculous where I used to believe them
Dr Fox is my new favorite person
Thank you and I hope that my material helps you grow and develop and see different parts of your world to control it and manage it as best you can.
OMG, this is me every single day.
I'm often imagining things I shouldn't. Things are great and I should recognize that. Great advice! I feel shiny and new.
These videos are so well done. I'm recovering from BPD however my mother is still very much entrenched in the disorder.
I love your videos. They are so informative. Recently, my Mental Health providers have started charging co-pays. I can not afford to pay these co-pays. So I started catastrophizing. I’m not getting the care I need... what if I can’t see my Psychiatrist...I will not be able to get my medication...Social Security Disability will be cut off because I’m not going as often as I was...I will lose my home...I have no place to go...I will be homeless...
So I really appreciate your addressing this topic. You really are helping people with your videos. Please keep doing what you’re doing. And I will take all of the coping skillsI can get. Thank you Dr. Fox
I’m so thankful I’ve found your videos. You are very understanding and don’t condemn those with this disorder. You have helped me understand myself more than I ever have through therapy or just being medicated by some psychs. Thank you so much for all of your videos
I’m so glad you find the videos helpful. Be well
I can't tell you how helpful you've been for me I watch all your videos thank you so much
I’m so glad. Be well.
I do not know what I would have done if I didn't stumble across your channel, Dr. Fox. Thank you for all of the information and positivity!
By God's Grace I've been sober 12 years alcohol and pot 2 yrs the last month I've been slammed with bad news after and another awful awful news in family Dr ur videos are awesome thank you. Ty for this video I love ur wisdom
Your videos have helped me understand my condition better than the 13 consecutive years of therapist/therapy. Thank you so much!
you’re the most calming man I’ve ever heard
Your the smartest doctor thank you this video expresses my everyday life lately
Definitely one of my fave videos. I have it saved, so that when I’m Catastrophizing, I can watch it. It almost always helps me calm down. Ambiguity is def a trigger for me. Having to wait for an outcome is tough. I read this article once that stuck with me, and it said when you’re imagining the worst, tell/ask yourself these things: 1) how likely is it to happen?; 2) is it happening right now?; and 3) am I creating my own suffering my worrying?...I also tell myself that I can handle anything that comes to me. Dr Fox was right about clients being “survivors/livers”-I think I def subscribe to a “you’re not taking me down” kind of attitude.
I also think catastrophe thinking comes from a lower self esteem place driven by “I can’t do it/I’m not sure of myself/they don’t like me” kinda of thought process rather than a self assuring one.
I try to remember and focus on “do I like me,” instead of worrying if others like me.
He brings us hope and understanding . Bless you Dr. Fox.