Small add-ons to the first story: Sister and her friends had invited more people over, so it was a bunch of them. 24 cinnamon rolls gone because of it. The other girls took stuff as well. Ruff estimate it being worth $3,200, so a LOT of stuff taken from OP's wife. One girl is being punished by working in her parents' restaurant for free after they went over and paid OP's wife for the items she stole. All four girls are being punished. Also, there are some unaccounted for items as well. The girls' coach was informed of what happened and there is some kind of punishment coming to them.
the best man sounds like a much better parent, maybe even brother than op's parents. op's brother though, i'm not sure if he's toxic or not, but i have read about the second story before and i have to give it to op's friend
Those parents in the wedding story are major AH. If you’re not going to show up to your son’s wedding (and for the idiotic reason they gave!) they deserve to have it aired out on social media. I love his response though of saying he’ll take it down when they make it up to him…..HOW!?!?!
Op dad : " I'll make it up to you" Op :" how"? Op sister hears this and throws another tantrum.. Op "dad" : " oops sorry sister heard you wanted happiness we can't have you be happy op it's not fair to her"..
"love his response though of saying he’ll take it down when they make it up to him…..HOW!?!?!" I think that was OP's point; it's probably *nothing* they can do to make it up to him.
First Story, YTA: OP is constantly letting his sister walk all over OP’s wife and steal from her. All OP did was just keep replacing things rather than try to solve anything. OP needs to stop enabling his sister. I’m glad OP did make things better and is doing better Second Story, NTA: OP’s parents clearly just favor OP’s sister and just want to save their already shit reputation. Imagine missing a wedding because the dog is sick and sister is upset 😂 Third Story, NTA: Honestly I would’ve done the same thing. How could u trust someone who is constantly late. OP simply did what he had to do
And being late, one thing I can't absolutely stand is people being late,as I'm always on time ,I leave early to get on time ,everywhere,and I find it absolutely disrespectful to be late all the time..once in a while is acceptable ,but not all the time ..
Whats most annoying about story 1 is she supposedly did all these things because she thought her life was rough..or at least once she realized people had real problems it gave her a moment of pause. I find that verrrry aggravating
The first sentence of the first story was so telling. "My wife loves to serve people." No. No. OP loves to think that his wife loves to serve him and his family members. And he repeatedly put her in a position where she had to. His solution to wrongdoings was "I'll buy replacement items, I'll hire a maid to clean up." In the end he apparently changes his ways a little to the better. But not before he was about to lose his wife completely when she walked out.
The parents don't feel remorse. they're just upset that they got called out. Who remembers the story of the parents that got pissed because their blatant favoritism of that OP's brother got caught on video?
I remember an old one where OP missed so many of her daughter's moments to take care of the younger, autistic son, that the daughter cut them both out of her life.
OP is lucky that his wife is such a compassionate and forgiving person. If she had wanted a divorce over this betrayal of trust, I'd be totally on her side and OP would've 100% deserved it.
@@CidVeldoril There's nothing "minor" about this. The wife set hard boundaries, and he crossed them behind her back. He made her feel unsafe in her own home.
@@CidVeldoril Yeah, especially if your family is destroying property and committing theft. Put on your clown shoes and walk your honking ass out of here.
Starting out their post with "she loves to serve" is a huge red flag too. Comes across like he doesn't see her as an equal. There are countless better ways to say that she's a giving person who likes to help others
For that last story, consider the alternative: OP doesn't create a special invitation and the mother arrives 45 min later than the ACTUAL start time, which would partially ruin the wedding and would give OP pictures of their wedding similar to the one of the story before. Now with the special invitiation OP's parents were actually part of the wedding and had a lovely time, not nowing about the shenanigans. I'd say this outcome is better for both OP and the parents.
Exactly, and what makes it so much worse is that the mom knew that she was late for that wedding, saw things happened to be "starting late," took advantage of that to act like she did nothing wrong, then tried to use that one time where she knows that on her own merit she would've been late as an excuse to gain the moral high ground and say that she isn't technically ALWAYS late, like being on time for once in her life somehow erases every time she wasn't. From her own perspective, she was lying through her teeth. Then she finds out that she only made it because she was lead to believe she was late and the only logical conclusion one can come to in that situation is that everything she's hearing about herself is true, but what does she do? She lashes out and starts blaming everyone but herself because she cannot fathom the concept of her being in the wrong.
While that maybe very true in the initial post, I'm very glad that op is working on fixing things with his wife. Too often is the "just divorce him" card played. Instead of the full 5/5 I was inclined to give op, I think it dropped down to a 2/5 for bettering himself.
OP’s a spineless coward that enables his sister and family’s theft of his wife’s property, even PIGGING out on cinnamon rolls meant for the wife’s friend! It’s like he’s just brushing things off and not taking things seriously! It’s also HIS responsibilities to control his family’ entitlement! “I talked to my family.” NOT ENOUGH! You’ve turned on your wife and allowed the family to do as they please, with NO CONSEQUENCES! An absolute jerk OP is! Update: WOW… What a complete Entitled Karen and thief OP’s Sister is! Glad to know that OP FINALLY had the common decency and sense to stand up against the Sister! Like, you’re not entitled to break into your Brother and his wife’s home, do whatever you damn well please and steal ALMOST ALL of his and his wife’s things! Yeah, this is GROUNDS for a lawsuit against the Sister for doing the things she did, but the Wife has a big heart and didn’t do that, but only wanting the Sister to remake the cinnamon rolls for a four year old with cancer. The Husband still gets some butthole scores for enabling the Sister’s actions and brushing this off.
First story. Changing locks is an escalation point that should raise flags that something isn't right and ignoring and reverting the locks was assuredly the wrong move
@@nicholasfarrell5981 if your house was consistently getting broken into and the person youre supposed to consult is perfectly fine with it happening, you wouldnt change the locks first? I agree she should have spoken to him about it but it clearly would have changed nothing. She isnt the AH for trying to stop getting robbed
@@nicholasfarrell5981 I agree with the score. I feel like communicating is key, even though he seems to not listen. Ugh too bad sis didn't take anything of his. Then again he still may not care.
@@laughableInflection it's only about the lack of communication, especially since she got angry that he reverted the locks without discussing it with her first. I agree that she's NTA for not wanting to get robbed, but the fact that OP only learned about the locks being changed when he got home that day (after they were changed) doesn't sit well with me.
OP's parents in the second story are lucky OP is even in contact with them at all. I would've cut them out and stopped inviting them for anything. They chose their golden child, after all. I love OP's answer to his father's pathetic attempt at getting the video taken down, saying "we'll make up for it", because unless they can time travel to the wedding day to be there, there's no making up for that. They both know it, and as such the video isn't going down, ever. The parents and the sister will have to live with that shame.
The parents probably do just enough to keep in their non-preferred child's graces just in case their golden baby fails them. Which she inevitably will, because AFAIK, golden children never come through for their parents.
1: Yes you are. Your wife changed the locks so she could gave some peace of mind in her own home! You keep allowing your sister to wreck the place and steal. The updates don’t change my mind, all of it could have been avoided if you just listened to your wife. (Way too forgiving Rslash) 2: NTA. Parents are playing favorites, and honestly the sister is an adult she doesn’t need her parents to baby her because her dog is sick. 3: NTA trust is earned not freely given. OP’s mom will likely be late for her own funeral.
There are people that are absolutely blinded by family love. Not spousal love but familial love. While what he did was definitely an a-hole move, it's less because he's arrogant, more so he's a giant idiot. It'll take a lot to make up for it, but it is a good start. I'm glad to see Reddit managed to whip him into shape. With luck that bag of his wife's belongings was a wake up slap to the face on just how bad the situation was. I'd say he's absolved of his past error, but he is NOT yet to be trusted.
Story 1: "I asked my sister and she said it wasn't her" Op. Literally who else could it be? It's not like your wife is stealing her own stuff. As for the cinnamon rolls, she was told _No_ and still did it anyway, ruining hours of hard work, and your response is "We'll just buy some from the store"?
Devils advocate: The sister comes over with friends so it could be them. That said, If that were the case then I would not have changed the locks back. I mean, even if the friends were taking stuff, the sister is still responsible for their actions as she invited them.
See that's literally why you should never ask the accused "Who dun it?" Unless there is already obvious guilt the answer will always be "Not me" 1st story OP is not a thinker at all.
People on reddit tore him a new one over those cinnamon rolls. I gotta admit, I had no idea how much labor and skill were involved in making them... but even so I knew that store-bought ones are not an equal substitute for homemade ones.
To all kleptomaniacs who refuse to change, wouldn't it be great to have an enabling sibling like OP? (sarcasm, in case that wasn't obvious). Edit: at least he is changing for the better
This was a reality in my family for a while. I have three older brothers, and Brother the 3rd use to steal stuff, and then brother the 2nd would purposely take the blame for him. It stopped when my parents realized that Brother the 3rd had a lot of stuff they never bought for him.
I wouldn’t say kleptomania since kleptomaniacs steal items that aren’t important to them. It’s for the thrill of the theft. Considering these items are expensive and something I can imagine a 17 yr girl would want, I don’t think it’s a mental disorder. Just entitlement
1st story: I am barely into the first story and I already want to divorce OP, and I am not even his wife. 2nd story: I am laughing my ass off, his family ganging up on him, for showing what other family members did to him showed everyone who they truly are. What a family, caring about appearances more than other family members.
First story got worse when I realized what the family emergency was, for ALL of us. I was thinking heart attack or something - all bad things, of course, but a dying child?! :( And I actually think OP deserves extra a-hole scores because even if his sister didn't know, he knew. Come on.
Story 2: my sister in law's Grandmother did the same thing. She intentionally put herself in the hospital on my brother and hers wedding day for a "headache", forcing SIL's grandfather to stay with her and miss it. That devastated my SIL because she wanted him to walk her down the aisle.
What is with these parents and not caring about their childrens weddings? And you know damn well they would have been pissed if their own parents did that
The sister got caught with the stolen things in her room and ruined most of her stuff. Then steals a priceless family heirloom ring of her grandma. This entitled teenager definitely needs to learn a lesson, or she'll end up in jail or worse when she steals from the wrong person.
I got the impression that she did learn her lesson when OP's wife took her to give the cinnamon rolls to the dying child according to an update in OP's story. I mean meeting dying a child whom you stole from is a pretty big wake-up call. Imagine how guilty she must have felt.
@@healingthroughchrist1988 some people just don't care, I hope she felt bad. I had a friend who would of thought it would of been funny and laughed about it
*First OP:* OP should've told his sister not to bring her friends to his and his wife's house. OP's sister and her friends should've cleaned up their messes instead of OP's wife. OR ... or, OP can clean up after the guests! I also forgot that the sister's friends _stole_ from OP's wife, too. Can OP's wife report missing items to the police? OP is TA. He should've tried harder to "right the wrongs". *First OP UPDATE:* OP is starting to redeem himself. Hopefully, his sister will do likewise especially after learning about OP's wife's coworker. *Second OP:* Now I know why OP picked his friend as his Best Man. If OP's parents were upset about the video, then they shouldn't have blown off OP during special moments in his life _including his wedding!_ And they ditched _OP's wedding_ because _his sister's dog got sick!?_ OP is NTA. I want to see the video now, lol. *Third OP:* I think this OP and the second OP should form a support group. 😛 At least this OP's parents showed up to the wedding, even if OP had to trick them into doing so. OP is NTA. Hopefully, his mother will be more punctual in future events.
First story - OP is the asshole for tolerating his sister disrespecting his wife. That's all there is to it. To his credit, OP has clarified in updates that he has since agreed to put in the work to fix things with her and set boundaries with his sister, but he never should have allowed it to get this far. Also kudos to OP for letting his wife punish his sister like that. Second story - OP is NTA. His parents have chosen to favor his sister over him time and again and have refused to simply just be there for him. Then they missed his wedding, because his "baby" sister wasn't in the mood for it. Yeah, they deserved to be called out for it. Also there should be asshole scores for every member of OP's extended family who thinks the video should be taken down. Third story - OP is NTA. HIs parents are chronically late, so he did them a favor. He could have actually given her the right time, proceeded with the ceremony, and when she showed up it would have led to even more drama. No harm, no foul.
@@songohan3321 I think after the 1st time she helped the family with the terminally ill toddler, she was faced with something no teenager like her wants to hear. That she was a horrible person and stole someone's happiness from her actions. This was a beautiful punishment. And she will be fine.
Last story: If the father from the beginning had left his always late wife and got himself to where ever they were going on time, she'd probably have changed her ways. But since everybody is catering to her rudeness, why bother. Seems she's been enabled the whole time.
OP from the first story was absolutely planning on letting it keep going until his wife left the house. If she didn't put her foot down he would've just let it continue to happen.
Both those sets of wedding parents made their own beds. They proved their priorities. That mother in the last story in particular is a straight-up negligent b-word - and this is coming from someone who constantly struggles to be punctual myself. All of them deserve the public shame. They have things to feel ashamed FOR.
My most hated social sin is tardiness. It disrespects everyone's time and at best delays fun and reduces fun time, while at worst it can get someone killed or, in a social situation, at worst it can have everyone sit around waiting for hours before needing to leave with nobody having gotten the promised good time.
I too hate it when people are late (unless they have a good reason and call to let me know.) I just think it's rude to not show up to an event at the time you were supposed to.
I know! We actually had someone like this in our family (a cousin), and my sister was taking him and his friend to a movie. When she was arrived the house to pick them up, he wasn't ready at all and they missed the movie because of it. My sister scolded him so hard that day about disrespecting her and everyone else's time that he hasn't been late to things since as far as I know
I have a guy in my friend group who does that. When he's with another member I'm supposed to meet up with, it takes an hour or so, sometimes it gets canceled without even giving me a notice. I just stopped hanging with him if there isn't anybody else with us or isn't a group outing. This stuff is just too disrespectful to people's schedule. If there is a friend group, I just ask him where they are and THEN I go meet them.
We had a friend couple like this. We set a date and a time, and then ooh noo, they have to clean, and shop, and talk on the phone, and take kid somewhere, and this and that, and suddenly 4 hours had passed, while we were just sitting around waiting for them to get ready
First story : YTA. Your wife told you what was going on, you ignored it. YOU decided it was the hill to die on. Your sister or her friends are stealing from your wife. They make a mess of everything and YOU don't care about what your wife is experiencing and living through here. You're letting your sister walk all over your wife and if she says anything you say that you "talked to your sister" but that does NOTHING! Actions should have consequences! You're basically implicitly giving the green light to your sister to do anything she wants because you won't get mad at her. Update : Well at least OP realized how wrong he was with everything. And not surprised the sister was the one stealing indeed.
Oh my God that guy's wife is a literal saint. Baking and cleaning for that family and also showing the sister how to care for others as a lesson wooooow. God bless this woman. I hope the husband realizes how lucky he is. The wife deserves -10 points
Last story: Your mom was late, you told her it would be earlier than it was and she showed up on time, your plan worked because she was late. And then continue to be late for other stuff, I'm surprised you're the first person to do this.
When I was in high school I started telling my dad times that were 15-30 min earlier than actual starting times. Finally I actually started getting places on time. The invitation to the wedding in the last story was a great idea.
The last story is great! 🤣 I don’t know WHY her husband hasn’t tried lying about the start time for events to force her to be on time. At least the son got what he wanted. 😁
My parents do that to me and it works really well LMAO. One time i misremembered the start time of a dinner reservation and panicked thinking I was 30 min late, only to realize I was there 15 min early. ADHD is a bitch lol
I'm actually proud of the OP in story one. Not only did he see the error in his ways, he went above and beyond to right what he did, stood up for his wife, and agreed to take on more duties to help her. And his mom? That lady is definitely doing something right with her reactions to what the sister did. I do agree OP deserves 2-2.5 buttholes, but towards the end, I could drop him to a 1, as he did realize what he was doing wrong and made major efforts to fix it after being given advice. Anyone can get advice. Not everyone can accept and learn from that advice and use it moving forward to improve lives.
Tricking people into being on time is perfectly fine. Being late for literally everything is disrespectful and if you can’t be on time you deserve to be tricked. But I stop inviting late people, I have zero patience for lateness.
If you're gonna purposely be late for everything at least be less pathetic about it "I'm just like that" procrastination is an art, it doesn't work like that
I'm scatterbrained and a bit of a procrastinator, so I know my odds of being a little late are high. Some people have a harder time being punctual than others **but** that means you work around your shortcomings. I tend to start getting ready for things far earlier than anyone else, I make checklists for things I need, I set out items like clothing and jewelry the night before, and plan a leaving time for at least 15-20 minutes more than I would technically need. This means sometimes I'm even early. Sometimes I am sitting ready to go for a while and head out the door when it's time. Consistently being over 15 minutes late to things is so goddamn rude, I can't even imagine trying to hand wave that away.
To the third story: That is exactly how to deal with people who are consistently late. Just give them an earlier start time. They will never change and they are just AHs for not learning how to show up on time. 2/5 AH score for the mother who just cannot handle being on time.
Last story is hilarious, love that him and sis were going to heist and switch the invitation so she'd never know. I wonder how dad feels about it, probably just thinking dang I should've thought of doing that
that last story, as a texan, it's weird to me to think there are people convinced it's not standard practice to wait until everyone shows up to the BBQ to start the grill, the only thing that should be started ahead of time is the smoker because that takes, at least, three hours to cook, but more reasonably six to eight hours if you do it properly
Last story I'm rounding up to 3 out of 5. She's late to everything and expects a pat on the back when she arrives on time after a letting down her kids the entire time.
11:57 3.5?!?!? For missing every meaningful event in OP's life? The parents, maybe, but the sister deserves at least 4 for manipulating her parents into abandoning OP.
Third story: OP is not the AH. My mom use to be chronically late to things. One year my grandma told my mom she was having thanksgiving at 1pm. We actually got there around 12:30 which would’ve made us early but dinner wasn’t actually until 2pm. So we were super early that year. My mom laughed at it that the one time she would’ve been just a little early she was super early. She still at it and now we get there about 30minutes early whenever we have something going on.
First story: nice to know he is sticking by his wife. Even if he doesnt understand he still went with his wife. Good job to him for working things through
OP in the first story really pisses me off. Even when trying to reconcile with his wife, he never makes it sound like he learnt the lesson (that he was putting his family way too far ahead of his wife, particularly when his family was violating their trust repeatedly). Just kept talking about all the actions he could take and material things he could do to, what it sounded like, 'appease' his wife. She honestly sounds too good for him.
Last story: I did the same thing with my mom on my wedding day. We were getting our makeup done at the venue. She needed to be there at 1. I told my brother and his girlfriend (one of my bridesmaids) to tell her to be there at 11:30. They went to the squarium first that morning and didn't get there until 12:45 🙄
Story 2: That sister is definitely a attention seeker and feels that she deserves all attention instead of OP, and is willing to ruin other people's important lifetime moments because she is THAT selfish. And the parents are complete a--holes for backing her up.
As someone who is late to a lot of things I struggle with time management but I make an effort to leave early to anything important so I won't be late Anyone who is constantly late and makes no effort to correct it is just an asshole and even us late people hate them
@@user-lr7dk7mt2w Agreed. It basically equates to narcissism. If you are forgetful, you can always set reminders on your phone to start getting ready for things, but it seems like that mother would have just ignored those alarms, regardless since she ignores her husband when he tells her to get ready because gossiping on the phone is more important. Being late to informal events is no big deal, but your own kid's wedding? At least do the bare minimum.
The audacity of the mother to moan at OP for not trusting her. If she was 45 mins late to her son's wedding, how can she possibly think that she can be trusted to be punctual?
“My mother is angry that I didn’t trust her.” Well, you think maybe, and hear me out here OPs mom, that a lifetime of breaking that trust could be a good reason to have zero trust in your punctuality?
last story: "you didn't trust me to turn up at the proper time!" "Well, you did turn up at the proper time, but only because we reset the time on your invitation. But for that you'd have been late - as usual."
You can't argue that your child doesn't trust you to be on time, when if they hadn't told you to show up an hour early you would have been late. You are pretty much using proof that you can't been on time for even something as important as a wedding that you are in as an excuse to be mad.
Story 1 I heard this one. Getting treated like a servant in your own home is terrible. Plus the fact it took the wife leaving to get op to pull his head out of his @$$. I say she should still leave him. Because this will happen again. The sister just needs to show she's "changed".
No, it's not your place to say based on this. It's resolving properly, and you haven't got a wider understanding of the relationship. That's a drastic suggestion for what's not fully known.
@@ReigoVassal I feel it was less 'I don't want to clean' and more 'have a professional deep clean', which is a lot harder for an untrained individual to do. Like, I agree, he should have done it himself, but it's nice having a professional clean done.
@@JadeAnnabelArt The point was the deep clean, yes, which he would be unlikely to be able to do himself. They would both work on it moving forwards, ideally. But this hyperfocus on one specific aspect is exactly why I don't believe it's anyone's place to start screaming divorce. This is someone's relationship, not a sideshow in a video game. There's a lot more to even his penance than just the one thing. If you believe after all that was listed that he "still believes money can solve all the problems" then frankly that's a you problem. Being focused on one thing to twist into a cynical form is far more problematic. He's not some villain from a Disney film, he's a real human being. People can, and do, improve, and I would suggest people here work on being more forgiving. After all, if the time comes that someone is trying to change and be better for you, and you just spit on it all the time, then you may find yourself labeled as a spiteful asshole.
I'm willing to bet that the sister is not manufacturing events that cause the parents to miss their sons milestones. But the parents just being so lazy and complacent where it comes to their son that THEY are the ones who manufacture bad reasons to miss their sons milestones.
Story1: Glad to hear the OP finally removed their rose-colored glasses, as did the mother of the thief. Still, this should have never happened in the first place. The wife should not have faced the burden of disrespect and insecurity in her own home for so long. Story2: Either the sister made her own dog sick or the dog was never sick in the first place. This was orchestrated for the sister to have all of the parents' attention all the time. I REALLY hope that dog wasn't deliberately poisoned by its owner and it was just an excuse dreamed up by the parents to avoid having to say 'your sister threatened a tantrum if we went'. Story3: So... parents WOULD have missed the wedding if they weren't tricked, but attempted to use that as proof that they weren't always late? Absolutely hilarious, I would've spilled the beans too. I also have a person in my life who is regularly late to things. If we have a BBQ or something at a home, we don't wait and they know it. Whenever we arrange an outing with them, we tend to make EVERYONE gather an hour+ before the time to go to ensure that this one person is not late for the actual leaving time and spend the free time chatting etc. Only if we have absolutely no other choice (with extremely important things during time-sensitive moments) do we sometimes lie to them about the starting time, but that is obviously quite rare and if it's important to them they are NEVER late. And every time they found out the truth when we had lied/tricked them, they were embarrassed or amused and they NEVER blamed us, only themselves. They adjust their expectations of what we do and we adjust our actions to where we can to include them. A perfect compromise.
3:18, the husband here is a complete a******. What the hell was this guy thinking? His wife w i f e wasn't feeling comfortable and was being robbed. What a jerk. I have to say I love the wife! She handled this like a boss!
I dont blame OPs wife because her husband's sister has been leaving a mess and after she changed the locks because she didn't want OPs sister in her home any more, also glad OP finaly realized his sister was in the wrong, also I hope that OPs sister has snapped out it and chnaged for the better and I agree with his rating. 2nd story heck no dont take the video down, they always bailed on OP and was never there for him and always favoring his sister, also laughed a crap ton at hearing the video and glad it put them in their place and calling them out!
Story 3: So the mother is pissed for being tricked into being on time and the OP is thinking that he might be a Asshole for tricking his mother even though his mother was still late, his Mother is never going to change
I've done something similar to that last story to my husband. my husband decided to cut back on his cigarettes by "rolling" them himself (he had an electronic cigarette packer that filled the empty paper tubes he bought), and if we were planning on going somewhere he would only "roll" what he needed, but he wouldn't take care of it until it was time to go, even though i always gave him a 20 minute warning before it was time to go (so he would have time to make his cigarettes), resulting in us always being late. so, I started telling him we had to leave in 20 minutes 40 or 50 minutes before we had to leave then telling him 20 to 30 minutes before we had to leave that we had to leave then. then he would make his cigarettes and we would actually leave on time. I did eventually tell him once he had been cigarette free for 6 months, he was a little pissed i did that, but he understood and didn't hold it against me. P.S. I only started doing it when I had a doctor's appointment canceled because I was more than 5 minutes late because he didn't have his cigarettes made when it was time to go, despite the 20 minute warning I gave him. he had to drive me because I don't know how to drive, and I didn't want to have to walk a mile on ice covered hilly roads just to get to the closest bus stop to our home.
The last story reminds me of my uncle. My grandma was the one who started telling him the time an hour earlier than everyone else. He found out at some point but told my grandma to keep doing it.
The last one is similar to a situation I had with my sister and brother-in-law. For my daughter's 16th birthday, I lied to my sister and brother-in-law and told them a different time so they would be on time. It worked and I let them know what I did. We had a good laugh.
Story one: At least OP did his best to fix things. Like, it'd be one thing to just wave it off and stick to his guns, but he didn't. He did his best to mend things with his wife. Story two: Lol, sucks for the parents. I'd have gone no contact years ago. I don't think it's the sister manufacturing emergencies for attention, I think it's just the parents are clearly choosing favourites. The best man just called them out. Story three: Lol, if you'd just been f*cking on time, Op wouldn't have made a special invite just for her.
The wife is the first story is a literal saint. Her literal wedding ring from her grandmother was stolen, her hardwork made for a dying 4-year-old who might not make it to another day was stolen, she had to constantly clean up after her home was trashed, with a husband who was completely unsupportive and biased. Yet not only did she tolerated it for such a long time, she had the heart to forgive the both of them and actually made her "punishments" a major teachable moment in OP's sister life. She is a literal saint. The mother who is always late doesn't get to be upset about anything. I'd if anything continue doing it and double down if she inevitably gets even later thinking the invitation doesn't have the right time until she actually improves. If she decides to never show up to things any more then that's too bad but it's her choice. It's not like she could be seen at the event anyway. The sister stealing OP's spotlight story OP shouldn't forgive his parents.
second story: all of those reasons are valid reasons for the SISTER to not be there, not for the parents. if my beloved pet was sick, i wouldnt go to a wedding unless it was my own, mainly because i wouldnt forgive myself if my pet ended up dying without me being there, me disliking large events is another reason but its secondary. however, it doesnt take 3 people to watch a sick dog. his sister being sick is an excellent reason for HER to miss the basketball game not his parents, if it was severe you could argue that one of the parents stay with his sister while the other goes to the game his sister having a bad day at work is a mediocre but acceptable reason for HER to miss his graduation, but not for his parents his sisters dog being sick is a perfectly fine reason for HER to miss the wdding but not for his parents.
The only thing I'll say is: first story, the wife went and changed the locks on her decision then yelled at him for doing the same. That's the only reason I'd have given the wife a .1 BH score
I will say that the best man didn't cause drama at the wedding. He posted the video after they had left for their honeymoon so the wedding was done and it went off without a hitch. The drama came afterwards.
First story is like: wife “the rain through the hole in the roof is destroying our stuff”. Op “but I had a talk to the rain “. Big storm destroys more stuff Wife ...gets roof fixed. It’s threatening to rain... op undoes roof repair “bUt iT PrOmIsEd Not To dEsTrOy aNyThInG”. Wife leaves. Yeah, op, yta
Rslash you didn't even mention the cringe of how it's his "sweet sister" and his beautiful wife who "loves to serve". It's weird that he described them that way. Gives me the ick.
As someone who has made cinnamon rolls from scratch before, the wife absolutely was in the right to make that the bill to die on. Cinnamon rolls require SO much effort to make, that it’s almost not worth it. Also I would’ve divorced the husband.
Honestly, it sounds like the parents just didn't want to go to wedding story OP's minor and major life events if they're willing to use a sick dog as an excuse to not go.
He had a few updates and it seems like he's putting forth an effort to change into a better person. I guess the people in the comment section of OP's post set him straight.
Holy nutballs. That first story was a total 180 and I'm proud of OP for admitting they were wrong and that their sister is a complete butthole. They still have to repair the trust in their relationship with their spouse, but that's one of the most redeemable stories I've heard on this channel
Story 1: Bruh, that wife sounds like a saint, she gets -2 out of 5 buttholes. She was wrong, and allowed to punish the sister for wronging here. She could have justifiably given out a punishment that would have benefited her directly as recompensation, for example a deep cleaning of the house, or some other labor to replace some of the broken/damaged stuff. But no, this saint of a women use her opportunity to punish the sister to use it to do a super kind thing for another family who is dealing with what has to be one of the worst things imaginable. Holy crap OP, im glad you came to your senses eventually, but you fucked up big time, and you better beg and grovel for months man
As soon as rslash asked "how exactly do you plan to make up my wedding?" I got an ad of a woman who snapped her fingers and said "like that!" How ironic.
The best friend in the next-to-last story, about the sister who was always ruining OP's special days, is very ballsy. If he were my best friend and I had faced a similar situation, I'd be buying him beer for the rest of his life AND naming my first-born after him if he did that. And no, I wouldn't take it down. For the last story, reminds me of my maternal grandmother. She was always late getting ready, especially for a movie. She'd always say, "well, there's always a cartoon or two plus other fluff." No, there's not. They haven't shown news reels and cartoons before movies since at least the 1950s. We were always late to a movie. I think my mom had to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with her concerning that.
Whoever's reading this, i pray that whatever you're going through gets better and whatever you're struggling with or worrying about is going to be fine and that everyone has a fantastic day! Amen
As someone who has a mom who is also chronically late, I love that last story. So many times have I said to extended family "just tell her it's an hour earlier, then we'll be there on time." I can see myself doing the same thing, 100 percent.
I've been 17. I had a slight klepto problem when it specificity comes to coins. Not fucking rings from dead grandmas. I'm definitely a glutton. If I ask to eat something and was specifically told "NO," I'd just find something else to snack on. It really isn't that hard. These kids are so immature and possibly dangerous.
There really aren't very many acceptable reasons to miss the wedding of someone you care about. Another friend of my best friend missed his wedding because his sister's wedding was on the same day, and, several years later, we still give him crap for it. Admittedly, that falls into that acceptable reason category, but it's a grey area, and he's our friend so we will rib him for it for the rest of our lives.
The sisters dog is sick?! And that's why you can't come to your son's wedding?! Have the sister take the dog to the vet and sit with it if she is so upset! Your daughter's dog has nothing to do with you going to your son's wedding. Aholes, both the parents and the sister
First story, I was all for the rules about no one can be in their house without them there. However, these "rules" about doing more chores? Yeah, no, sounds like that is going to start the husband down a path of a sexless marriage, because she has already lost respect for him and he is probably not getting it back.
I have an aunt who always arrived really late. According to my sister, they had to do her invitation saying the wedding was to start at 12 but actually start at 3. 3 hours early so the wedding could start on time. When she found out she was pissed. I'm still confused to this day as to why she was pissed.
Small add-ons to the first story:
Sister and her friends had invited more people over, so it was a bunch of them. 24 cinnamon rolls gone because of it.
The other girls took stuff as well. Ruff estimate it being worth $3,200, so a LOT of stuff taken from OP's wife.
One girl is being punished by working in her parents' restaurant for free after they went over and paid OP's wife for the items she stole.
All four girls are being punished. Also, there are some unaccounted for items as well.
The girls' coach was informed of what happened and there is some kind of punishment coming to them.
nice, consequences!
Wish the husband was punished as well, for enabling and not taking his wife's side.
@@AlmightyAphrodite Bet the wife is expected to absorb a hundred percent of the expense of the theft and also a hundred percent of the cleanup.
Second story, the best man went and proved himself the bestest man by putting OP's parents on blast like that with everyone
That man took the title of Best Man very seriously. 10/10
OPs parents no longer need to attend any BBQs because they got ROASTED!
@@Nerobyrne Nah man they got incinerated. 🤣🤣
the best man sounds like a much better parent, maybe even brother than op's parents. op's brother though, i'm not sure if he's toxic or not, but i have read about the second story before and i have to give it to op's friend
Put that man in the human being hall of fame
Those parents in the wedding story are major AH. If you’re not going to show up to your son’s wedding (and for the idiotic reason they gave!) they deserve to have it aired out on social media. I love his response though of saying he’ll take it down when they make it up to him…..HOW!?!?!
That's the point! Op knows they can't make it up to him so he won't have to take it down if he doesn't want to.
That's the best part. They can't.
Op dad : " I'll make it up to you"
Op :" how"?
Op sister hears this and throws another tantrum..
Op "dad" : " oops sorry sister heard you wanted happiness we can't have you be happy op it's not fair to her"..
It gives off the vibes "tell me you're the favorite child without telling me you're the favorite". If they are legit reasons sure but a bad day? 🤦🏼♀️
"love his response though of saying he’ll take it down when they make it up to him…..HOW!?!?!"
I think that was OP's point; it's probably *nothing* they can do to make it up to him.
First Story, YTA: OP is constantly letting his sister walk all over OP’s wife and steal from her. All OP did was just keep replacing things rather than try to solve anything. OP needs to stop enabling his sister. I’m glad OP did make things better and is doing better
Second Story, NTA: OP’s parents clearly just favor OP’s sister and just want to save their already shit reputation. Imagine missing a wedding because the dog is sick and sister is upset 😂
Third Story, NTA: Honestly I would’ve done the same thing. How could u trust someone who is constantly late. OP simply did what he had to do
Exactly ! The parents are especially disgusting here.. I can't stand people like these!
And being late, one thing I can't absolutely stand is people being late,as I'm always on time ,I leave early to get on time ,everywhere,and I find it absolutely disrespectful to be late all the time..once in a while is acceptable ,but not all the time ..
the third story: I even did this to myself by speeding up the clock at my house by 30 minutes, never been late ever since
Whats most annoying about story 1 is she supposedly did all these things because she thought her life was rough..or at least once she realized people had real problems it gave her a moment of pause. I find that verrrry aggravating
The first sentence of the first story was so telling. "My wife loves to serve people." No. No. OP loves to think that his wife loves to serve him and his family members. And he repeatedly put her in a position where she had to. His solution to wrongdoings was "I'll buy replacement items, I'll hire a maid to clean up." In the end he apparently changes his ways a little to the better. But not before he was about to lose his wife completely when she walked out.
The parents don't feel remorse. they're just upset that they got called out. Who remembers the story of the parents that got pissed because their blatant favoritism of that OP's brother got caught on video?
I remember an old one where OP missed so many of her daughter's moments to take care of the younger, autistic son, that the daughter cut them both out of her life.
I don’t remember! Did RSlash do that story? 😮
Do you have a link for that vid?
@@ericarose853 I don't know if he did. It was on one of those reddit videos on TikTok
9 times out of 10 people aren't sorry about what they did, only that they got caught.
OP is lucky that his wife is such a compassionate and forgiving person. If she had wanted a divorce over this betrayal of trust, I'd be totally on her side and OP would've 100% deserved it.
1000% facts
If divorce can happen over something so minor, then taking the side of your family is always the right choice.
@@CidVeldoril There's nothing "minor" about this. The wife set hard boundaries, and he crossed them behind her back. He made her feel unsafe in her own home.
@@CidVeldoril Yeah, especially if your family is destroying property and committing theft. Put on your clown shoes and walk your honking ass out of here.
Starting out their post with "she loves to serve" is a huge red flag too. Comes across like he doesn't see her as an equal. There are countless better ways to say that she's a giving person who likes to help others
In the last story the line "Me and my sisters where already planning a heist to replace it" that line is just wonderful I love it
For that last story, consider the alternative: OP doesn't create a special invitation and the mother arrives 45 min later than the ACTUAL start time, which would partially ruin the wedding and would give OP pictures of their wedding similar to the one of the story before. Now with the special invitiation OP's parents were actually part of the wedding and had a lovely time, not nowing about the shenanigans. I'd say this outcome is better for both OP and the parents.
Exactly, and what makes it so much worse is that the mom knew that she was late for that wedding, saw things happened to be "starting late," took advantage of that to act like she did nothing wrong, then tried to use that one time where she knows that on her own merit she would've been late as an excuse to gain the moral high ground and say that she isn't technically ALWAYS late, like being on time for once in her life somehow erases every time she wasn't. From her own perspective, she was lying through her teeth. Then she finds out that she only made it because she was lead to believe she was late and the only logical conclusion one can come to in that situation is that everything she's hearing about herself is true, but what does she do? She lashes out and starts blaming everyone but herself because she cannot fathom the concept of her being in the wrong.
@@metanightmare4454 The mother sounds like a grade A narcissist.
Story 1: Yes OP, you are TA... Your wife is 100% right and you're feckless for letting your family interfere with your marriage.
I hope the sister finally understands that she was a jerk. Im thinking that she was easily influenced by her friends.
He's very stupid. It's never about the lock. It's even far from about cinnamon roll.
While that maybe very true in the initial post, I'm very glad that op is working on fixing things with his wife. Too often is the "just divorce him" card played. Instead of the full 5/5 I was inclined to give op, I think it dropped down to a 2/5 for bettering himself.
@@seabass819 yea im glad for that too.
OP’s a spineless coward that enables his sister and family’s theft of his wife’s property, even PIGGING out on cinnamon rolls meant for the wife’s friend!
It’s like he’s just brushing things off and not taking things seriously!
It’s also HIS responsibilities to control his family’ entitlement!
“I talked to my family.” NOT ENOUGH!
You’ve turned on your wife and allowed the family to do as they please, with NO CONSEQUENCES! An absolute jerk OP is!
Update: WOW… What a complete Entitled Karen and thief OP’s Sister is!
Glad to know that OP FINALLY had the common decency and sense to stand up against the Sister!
Like, you’re not entitled to break into your Brother and his wife’s home, do whatever you damn well please and steal ALMOST ALL of his and his wife’s things!
Yeah, this is GROUNDS for a lawsuit against the Sister for doing the things she did, but the Wife has a big heart and didn’t do that, but only wanting the Sister to remake the cinnamon rolls for a four year old with cancer.
The Husband still gets some butthole scores for enabling the Sister’s actions and brushing this off.
First story. Changing locks is an escalation point that should raise flags that something isn't right and ignoring and reverting the locks was assuredly the wrong move
Still, Wife should've told OP she was doing that. In no way does it excuse anything OP or his family did, but it's still, I dunno, .125 BH for me.
@@nicholasfarrell5981 if your house was consistently getting broken into and the person youre supposed to consult is perfectly fine with it happening, you wouldnt change the locks first?
I agree she should have spoken to him about it but it clearly would have changed nothing. She isnt the AH for trying to stop getting robbed
@@nicholasfarrell5981 I agree with the score. I feel like communicating is key, even though he seems to not listen. Ugh too bad sis didn't take anything of his. Then again he still may not care.
@@laughableInflection it's only about the lack of communication, especially since she got angry that he reverted the locks without discussing it with her first. I agree that she's NTA for not wanting to get robbed, but the fact that OP only learned about the locks being changed when he got home that day (after they were changed) doesn't sit well with me.
@@nicholasfarrell5981 thats fair. I think i would probably not want my enabling spouse in the home either though lmao /hj
OP's parents in the second story are lucky OP is even in contact with them at all. I would've cut them out and stopped inviting them for anything. They chose their golden child, after all.
I love OP's answer to his father's pathetic attempt at getting the video taken down, saying "we'll make up for it", because unless they can time travel to the wedding day to be there, there's no making up for that. They both know it, and as such the video isn't going down, ever. The parents and the sister will have to live with that shame.
The parents probably do just enough to keep in their non-preferred child's graces just in case their golden baby fails them. Which she inevitably will, because AFAIK, golden children never come through for their parents.
Honestly this is the best punishment you can give to your parents who show favoritism, no threats, no blackmail, just shame
1: Yes you are. Your wife changed the locks so she could gave some peace of mind in her own home! You keep allowing your sister to wreck the place and steal. The updates don’t change my mind, all of it could have been avoided if you just listened to your wife. (Way too forgiving Rslash)
2: NTA. Parents are playing favorites, and honestly the sister is an adult she doesn’t need her parents to baby her because her dog is sick.
3: NTA trust is earned not freely given. OP’s mom will likely be late for her own funeral.
There are people that are absolutely blinded by family love. Not spousal love but familial love.
While what he did was definitely an a-hole move, it's less because he's arrogant, more so he's a giant idiot.
It'll take a lot to make up for it, but it is a good start. I'm glad to see Reddit managed to whip him into shape.
With luck that bag of his wife's belongings was a wake up slap to the face on just how bad the situation was.
I'd say he's absolved of his past error, but he is NOT yet to be trusted.
Story 1: "I asked my sister and she said it wasn't her" Op. Literally who else could it be? It's not like your wife is stealing her own stuff. As for the cinnamon rolls, she was told _No_ and still did it anyway, ruining hours of hard work, and your response is "We'll just buy some from the store"?
That wife is a saint!!!!
Devils advocate: The sister comes over with friends so it could be them.
That said, If that were the case then I would not have changed the locks back. I mean, even if the friends were taking stuff, the sister is still responsible for their actions as she invited them.
See that's literally why you should never ask the accused "Who dun it?" Unless there is already obvious guilt the answer will always be "Not me" 1st story OP is not a thinker at all.
People on reddit tore him a new one over those cinnamon rolls. I gotta admit, I had no idea how much labor and skill were involved in making them... but even so I knew that store-bought ones are not an equal substitute for homemade ones.
To all kleptomaniacs who refuse to change, wouldn't it be great to have an enabling sibling like OP? (sarcasm, in case that wasn't obvious).
Edit: at least he is changing for the better
This was a reality in my family for a while. I have three older brothers, and Brother the 3rd use to steal stuff, and then brother the 2nd would purposely take the blame for him. It stopped when my parents realized that Brother the 3rd had a lot of stuff they never bought for him.
I wouldn’t say kleptomania since kleptomaniacs steal items that aren’t important to them. It’s for the thrill of the theft. Considering these items are expensive and something I can imagine a 17 yr girl would want, I don’t think it’s a mental disorder. Just entitlement
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 oh, I just know the theft aspect
1st story: I am barely into the first story and I already want to divorce OP, and I am not even his wife.
2nd story: I am laughing my ass off, his family ganging up on him, for showing what other family members did to him showed everyone who they truly are. What a family, caring about appearances more than other family members.
First story got worse when I realized what the family emergency was, for ALL of us. I was thinking heart attack or something - all bad things, of course, but a dying child?! :( And I actually think OP deserves extra a-hole scores because even if his sister didn't know, he knew. Come on.
It’s incredibly trashing to replace homemade goods for store bought trash
Story 2: my sister in law's Grandmother did the same thing. She intentionally put herself in the hospital on my brother and hers wedding day for a "headache", forcing SIL's grandfather to stay with her and miss it. That devastated my SIL because she wanted him to walk her down the aisle.
What is with these parents and not caring about their childrens weddings? And you know damn well they would have been pissed if their own parents did that
The sister got caught with the stolen things in her room and ruined most of her stuff. Then steals a priceless family heirloom ring of her grandma. This entitled teenager definitely needs to learn a lesson, or she'll end up in jail or worse when she steals from the wrong person.
I got the impression that she did learn her lesson when OP's wife took her to give the cinnamon rolls to the dying child according to an update in OP's story. I mean meeting dying a child whom you stole from is a pretty big wake-up call. Imagine how guilty she must have felt.
@@healingthroughchrist1988 some people just don't care, I hope she felt bad. I had a friend who would of thought it would of been funny and laughed about it
*First OP:* OP should've told his sister not to bring her friends to his and his wife's house. OP's sister and her friends should've cleaned up their messes instead of OP's wife. OR ... or, OP can clean up after the guests! I also forgot that the sister's friends _stole_ from OP's wife, too. Can OP's wife report missing items to the police? OP is TA. He should've tried harder to "right the wrongs".
*First OP UPDATE:* OP is starting to redeem himself. Hopefully, his sister will do likewise especially after learning about OP's wife's coworker.
*Second OP:* Now I know why OP picked his friend as his Best Man. If OP's parents were upset about the video, then they shouldn't have blown off OP during special moments in his life _including his wedding!_ And they ditched _OP's wedding_ because _his sister's dog got sick!?_ OP is NTA. I want to see the video now, lol.
*Third OP:* I think this OP and the second OP should form a support group. 😛 At least this OP's parents showed up to the wedding, even if OP had to trick them into doing so. OP is NTA. Hopefully, his mother will be more punctual in future events.
The first story is a full anime redemption arc
I just want to say that I’m so happy that OP’s mom wasn’t entitled and punished her daughter for what she did.
First story - OP is the asshole for tolerating his sister disrespecting his wife. That's all there is to it. To his credit, OP has clarified in updates that he has since agreed to put in the work to fix things with her and set boundaries with his sister, but he never should have allowed it to get this far. Also kudos to OP for letting his wife punish his sister like that.
Second story - OP is NTA. His parents have chosen to favor his sister over him time and again and have refused to simply just be there for him. Then they missed his wedding, because his "baby" sister wasn't in the mood for it. Yeah, they deserved to be called out for it. Also there should be asshole scores for every member of OP's extended family who thinks the video should be taken down.
Third story - OP is NTA. HIs parents are chronically late, so he did them a favor. He could have actually given her the right time, proceeded with the ceremony, and when she showed up it would have led to even more drama. No harm, no foul.
I love the first story. Yes, OP messed up big time, but hearing how he is activly improving himself is comandable. And his wife is an absolute saint!
Too bad the sister is not. I hope they can tackle this problem early otherwise the sister will be a Level 5 Karen.
@@songohan3321 She is 17. A kid. She needs guidance and good role models, now she has both. There is a difference between malice and teenage egoism.
@@songohan3321 I think after the 1st time she helped the family with the terminally ill toddler, she was faced with something no teenager like her wants to hear. That she was a horrible person and stole someone's happiness from her actions. This was a beautiful punishment. And she will be fine.
Last story: If the father from the beginning had left his always late wife and got himself to where ever they were going on time, she'd probably have changed her ways. But since everybody is catering to her rudeness, why bother. Seems she's been enabled the whole time.
She has ADD. The family just has to learn how to manage her. And she has to accept being managed.
@@MyFiddlePlayer How do you know?
OP from the first story was absolutely planning on letting it keep going until his wife left the house. If she didn't put her foot down he would've just let it continue to happen.
Both those sets of wedding parents made their own beds. They proved their priorities. That mother in the last story in particular is a straight-up negligent b-word - and this is coming from someone who constantly struggles to be punctual myself. All of them deserve the public shame. They have things to feel ashamed FOR.
My most hated social sin is tardiness. It disrespects everyone's time and at best delays fun and reduces fun time, while at worst it can get someone killed or, in a social situation, at worst it can have everyone sit around waiting for hours before needing to leave with nobody having gotten the promised good time.
I too hate it when people are late (unless they have a good reason and call to let me know.)
I just think it's rude to not show up to an event at the time you were supposed to.
I know! We actually had someone like this in our family (a cousin), and my sister was taking him and his friend to a movie. When she was arrived the house to pick them up, he wasn't ready at all and they missed the movie because of it. My sister scolded him so hard that day about disrespecting her and everyone else's time that he hasn't been late to things since as far as I know
I have a guy in my friend group who does that. When he's with another member I'm supposed to meet up with, it takes an hour or so, sometimes it gets canceled without even giving me a notice.
I just stopped hanging with him if there isn't anybody else with us or isn't a group outing. This stuff is just too disrespectful to people's schedule. If there is a friend group, I just ask him where they are and THEN I go meet them.
At least none of you grew up fudging Mormon. "Mormon Standard Time" was a fudging nightmare.
We had a friend couple like this. We set a date and a time, and then ooh noo, they have to clean, and shop, and talk on the phone, and take kid somewhere, and this and that, and suddenly 4 hours had passed, while we were just sitting around waiting for them to get ready
First story : YTA. Your wife told you what was going on, you ignored it. YOU decided it was the hill to die on. Your sister or her friends are stealing from your wife. They make a mess of everything and YOU don't care about what your wife is experiencing and living through here. You're letting your sister walk all over your wife and if she says anything you say that you "talked to your sister" but that does NOTHING! Actions should have consequences! You're basically implicitly giving the green light to your sister to do anything she wants because you won't get mad at her.
Update : Well at least OP realized how wrong he was with everything. And not surprised the sister was the one stealing indeed.
Oh my God that guy's wife is a literal saint. Baking and cleaning for that family and also showing the sister how to care for others as a lesson wooooow. God bless this woman. I hope the husband realizes how lucky he is. The wife deserves -10 points
Yet he describes his sister as ‘sweet’
15:16 OP is chillin. He made it so his mom who is chronically late to everything would be on time. She’s just mad that it’s out in the open
Last story: Your mom was late, you told her it would be earlier than it was and she showed up on time, your plan worked because she was late. And then continue to be late for other stuff, I'm surprised you're the first person to do this.
Fr and she was 45 MINUTES LATE to her early invitation time
She absolutely would of been late to the wedding
When I was in high school I started telling my dad times that were 15-30 min earlier than actual starting times. Finally I actually started getting places on time. The invitation to the wedding in the last story was a great idea.
The last story is great! 🤣 I don’t know WHY her husband hasn’t tried lying about the start time for events to force her to be on time. At least the son got what he wanted. 😁
My parents do that to me and it works really well LMAO. One time i misremembered the start time of a dinner reservation and panicked thinking I was 30 min late, only to realize I was there 15 min early. ADHD is a bitch lol
I'm actually proud of the OP in story one. Not only did he see the error in his ways, he went above and beyond to right what he did, stood up for his wife, and agreed to take on more duties to help her. And his mom? That lady is definitely doing something right with her reactions to what the sister did. I do agree OP deserves 2-2.5 buttholes, but towards the end, I could drop him to a 1, as he did realize what he was doing wrong and made major efforts to fix it after being given advice. Anyone can get advice. Not everyone can accept and learn from that advice and use it moving forward to improve lives.
Tricking people into being on time is perfectly fine. Being late for literally everything is disrespectful and if you can’t be on time you deserve to be tricked. But I stop inviting late people, I have zero patience for lateness.
Honestly they should even be happy that they were even invited. Cause the mom deserve to no longer be in OP's life
If you're gonna purposely be late for everything at least be less pathetic about it "I'm just like that" procrastination is an art, it doesn't work like that
I'm scatterbrained and a bit of a procrastinator, so I know my odds of being a little late are high. Some people have a harder time being punctual than others **but** that means you work around your shortcomings. I tend to start getting ready for things far earlier than anyone else, I make checklists for things I need, I set out items like clothing and jewelry the night before, and plan a leaving time for at least 15-20 minutes more than I would technically need. This means sometimes I'm even early. Sometimes I am sitting ready to go for a while and head out the door when it's time. Consistently being over 15 minutes late to things is so goddamn rude, I can't even imagine trying to hand wave that away.
To the third story: That is exactly how to deal with people who are consistently late. Just give them an earlier start time. They will never change and they are just AHs for not learning how to show up on time. 2/5 AH score for the mother who just cannot handle being on time.
Last story is hilarious, love that him and sis were going to heist and switch the invitation so she'd never know. I wonder how dad feels about it, probably just thinking dang I should've thought of doing that
that last story, as a texan, it's weird to me to think there are people convinced it's not standard practice to wait until everyone shows up to the BBQ to start the grill, the only thing that should be started ahead of time is the smoker because that takes, at least, three hours to cook, but more reasonably six to eight hours if you do it properly
Last story I'm rounding up to 3 out of 5. She's late to everything and expects a pat on the back when she arrives on time after a letting down her kids the entire time.
4 out of 5 .. it's emotional abuse..
@@thetruth1816 fair point, I agree!
11:57 3.5?!?!? For missing every meaningful event in OP's life? The parents, maybe, but the sister deserves at least 4 for manipulating her parents into abandoning OP.
That first story, it really does sound like the room temperature is higher than op's IQ.
Fr man wtf 💀
LOL
Third story: OP is not the AH. My mom use to be chronically late to things. One year my grandma told my mom she was having thanksgiving at 1pm. We actually got there around 12:30 which would’ve made us early but dinner wasn’t actually until 2pm. So we were super early that year. My mom laughed at it that the one time she would’ve been just a little early she was super early. She still at it and now we get there about 30minutes early whenever we have something going on.
First story: nice to know he is sticking by his wife. Even if he doesnt understand he still went with his wife. Good job to him for working things through
There is no universe in which “I’ll just buy some cinnamon rolls” is an acceptable apology for eating like 2 whole trays of handmade FROM SCRATCH ones
OP in the first story really pisses me off. Even when trying to reconcile with his wife, he never makes it sound like he learnt the lesson (that he was putting his family way too far ahead of his wife, particularly when his family was violating their trust repeatedly). Just kept talking about all the actions he could take and material things he could do to, what it sounded like, 'appease' his wife.
She honestly sounds too good for him.
Last story: I did the same thing with my mom on my wedding day. We were getting our makeup done at the venue. She needed to be there at 1. I told my brother and his girlfriend (one of my bridesmaids) to tell her to be there at 11:30. They went to the squarium first that morning and didn't get there until 12:45 🙄
Story 2: That sister is definitely a attention seeker and feels that she deserves all attention instead of OP, and is willing to ruin other people's important lifetime moments because she is THAT selfish. And the parents are complete a--holes for backing her up.
Just wait until her wedding!
@@GeorgeVCohea-dw7ou It's gonna be a mess.
One of my biggest pet peeves are people who are consistently late. It’s like being told the only person whose time matters is their own.
Yep. I hate it too. It's just rude.
As someone who is late to a lot of things I struggle with time management but I make an effort to leave early to anything important so I won't be late
Anyone who is constantly late and makes no effort to correct it is just an asshole and even us late people hate them
@@user-lr7dk7mt2w Agreed. It basically equates to narcissism. If you are forgetful, you can always set reminders on your phone to start getting ready for things, but it seems like that mother would have just ignored those alarms, regardless since she ignores her husband when he tells her to get ready because gossiping on the phone is more important. Being late to informal events is no big deal, but your own kid's wedding? At least do the bare minimum.
@@user-lr7dk7mt2w Agreed.
If I have a flight to catch and make it on time, then I can make it on time to a wedding
The audacity of the mother to moan at OP for not trusting her. If she was 45 mins late to her son's wedding, how can she possibly think that she can be trusted to be punctual?
Simple: Arrogance
“My mother is angry that I didn’t trust her.”
Well, you think maybe, and hear me out here OPs mom, that a lifetime of breaking that trust could be a good reason to have zero trust in your punctuality?
last story: "you didn't trust me to turn up at the proper time!"
"Well, you did turn up at the proper time, but only because we reset the time on your invitation. But for that you'd have been late - as usual."
You can't argue that your child doesn't trust you to be on time, when if they hadn't told you to show up an hour early you would have been late. You are pretty much using proof that you can't been on time for even something as important as a wedding that you are in as an excuse to be mad.
Story 1 I heard this one. Getting treated like a servant in your own home is terrible. Plus the fact it took the wife leaving to get op to pull his head out of his @$$. I say she should still leave him. Because this will happen again. The sister just needs to show she's "changed".
The fact that OP hire someone to cleans up meaning he still thinks "money will fix the relationship"
And that's why divorced are so high people don't work on their marriages and just jump to divorce.
No, it's not your place to say based on this. It's resolving properly, and you haven't got a wider understanding of the relationship. That's a drastic suggestion for what's not fully known.
@@ReigoVassal I feel it was less 'I don't want to clean' and more 'have a professional deep clean', which is a lot harder for an untrained individual to do. Like, I agree, he should have done it himself, but it's nice having a professional clean done.
@@JadeAnnabelArt The point was the deep clean, yes, which he would be unlikely to be able to do himself. They would both work on it moving forwards, ideally.
But this hyperfocus on one specific aspect is exactly why I don't believe it's anyone's place to start screaming divorce. This is someone's relationship, not a sideshow in a video game. There's a lot more to even his penance than just the one thing. If you believe after all that was listed that he "still believes money can solve all the problems" then frankly that's a you problem. Being focused on one thing to twist into a cynical form is far more problematic. He's not some villain from a Disney film, he's a real human being. People can, and do, improve, and I would suggest people here work on being more forgiving.
After all, if the time comes that someone is trying to change and be better for you, and you just spit on it all the time, then you may find yourself labeled as a spiteful asshole.
I'm willing to bet that the sister is not manufacturing events that cause the parents to miss their sons milestones. But the parents just being so lazy and complacent where it comes to their son that THEY are the ones who manufacture bad reasons to miss their sons milestones.
Story1: Glad to hear the OP finally removed their rose-colored glasses, as did the mother of the thief. Still, this should have never happened in the first place. The wife should not have faced the burden of disrespect and insecurity in her own home for so long.
Story2: Either the sister made her own dog sick or the dog was never sick in the first place. This was orchestrated for the sister to have all of the parents' attention all the time. I REALLY hope that dog wasn't deliberately poisoned by its owner and it was just an excuse dreamed up by the parents to avoid having to say 'your sister threatened a tantrum if we went'.
Story3: So... parents WOULD have missed the wedding if they weren't tricked, but attempted to use that as proof that they weren't always late? Absolutely hilarious, I would've spilled the beans too.
I also have a person in my life who is regularly late to things. If we have a BBQ or something at a home, we don't wait and they know it. Whenever we arrange an outing with them, we tend to make EVERYONE gather an hour+ before the time to go to ensure that this one person is not late for the actual leaving time and spend the free time chatting etc. Only if we have absolutely no other choice (with extremely important things during time-sensitive moments) do we sometimes lie to them about the starting time, but that is obviously quite rare and if it's important to them they are NEVER late. And every time they found out the truth when we had lied/tricked them, they were embarrassed or amused and they NEVER blamed us, only themselves. They adjust their expectations of what we do and we adjust our actions to where we can to include them. A perfect compromise.
3:18, the husband here is a complete a******. What the hell was this guy thinking? His wife w i f e wasn't feeling comfortable and was being robbed. What a jerk. I have to say I love the wife! She handled this like a boss!
I dont blame OPs wife because her husband's sister has been leaving a mess and after she changed the locks because she didn't want OPs sister in her home any more, also glad OP finaly realized his sister was in the wrong, also I hope that OPs sister has snapped out it and chnaged for the better and I agree with his rating.
2nd story heck no dont take the video down, they always bailed on OP and was never there for him and always favoring his sister, also laughed a crap ton at hearing the video and glad it put them in their place and calling them out!
its almost like shes mad because she couldnt be late and walk in like shes the most important person in the room
"I was told my sister wouldnt stop crying" and thats new? It seems like she never stops crying anyway
Story 3: So the mother is pissed for being tricked into being on time and the OP is thinking that he might be a Asshole for tricking his mother even though his mother was still late, his Mother is never going to change
Oh my god... stealing from a dying child? That's got to be hard reality to face now that she spent time with the child.
She needed that wake-up call. Imagine how guilty she must have felt when she found out she stole from a dying child.
I've done something similar to that last story to my husband. my husband decided to cut back on his cigarettes by "rolling" them himself (he had an electronic cigarette packer that filled the empty paper tubes he bought), and if we were planning on going somewhere he would only "roll" what he needed, but he wouldn't take care of it until it was time to go, even though i always gave him a 20 minute warning before it was time to go (so he would have time to make his cigarettes), resulting in us always being late. so, I started telling him we had to leave in 20 minutes 40 or 50 minutes before we had to leave then telling him 20 to 30 minutes before we had to leave that we had to leave then. then he would make his cigarettes and we would actually leave on time. I did eventually tell him once he had been cigarette free for 6 months, he was a little pissed i did that, but he understood and didn't hold it against me.
P.S. I only started doing it when I had a doctor's appointment canceled because I was more than 5 minutes late because he didn't have his cigarettes made when it was time to go, despite the 20 minute warning I gave him. he had to drive me because I don't know how to drive, and I didn't want to have to walk a mile on ice covered hilly roads just to get to the closest bus stop to our home.
you don't need an arch enemy when you have family members like these
The last story reminds me of my uncle. My grandma was the one who started telling him the time an hour earlier than everyone else. He found out at some point but told my grandma to keep doing it.
Are we ignoring ‘she loves to serve others’?
That still doesn't mean to take advantage of the person who serves others
Not getting your point here.
@@mariposa9506 it’s a very demeaning way to say it..it sounds like he’s talking about an indentured servant, not a beloved wife
The last one is similar to a situation I had with my sister and brother-in-law. For my daughter's 16th birthday, I lied to my sister and brother-in-law and told them a different time so they would be on time. It worked and I let them know what I did. We had a good laugh.
This felt like the horrible family edition of AITA. These stories made me so thankful for my own family.
First story: "Well... I tried nothing, and now I'm all out of ideas!"
Story one: At least OP did his best to fix things. Like, it'd be one thing to just wave it off and stick to his guns, but he didn't. He did his best to mend things with his wife.
Story two: Lol, sucks for the parents. I'd have gone no contact years ago. I don't think it's the sister manufacturing emergencies for attention, I think it's just the parents are clearly choosing favourites. The best man just called them out.
Story three: Lol, if you'd just been f*cking on time, Op wouldn't have made a special invite just for her.
The wife is the first story is a literal saint. Her literal wedding ring from her grandmother was stolen, her hardwork made for a dying 4-year-old who might not make it to another day was stolen, she had to constantly clean up after her home was trashed, with a husband who was completely unsupportive and biased. Yet not only did she tolerated it for such a long time, she had the heart to forgive the both of them and actually made her "punishments" a major teachable moment in OP's sister life. She is a literal saint.
The mother who is always late doesn't get to be upset about anything. I'd if anything continue doing it and double down if she inevitably gets even later thinking the invitation doesn't have the right time until she actually improves. If she decides to never show up to things any more then that's too bad but it's her choice. It's not like she could be seen at the event anyway.
The sister stealing OP's spotlight story OP shouldn't forgive his parents.
second story: all of those reasons are valid reasons for the SISTER to not be there, not for the parents. if my beloved pet was sick, i wouldnt go to a wedding unless it was my own, mainly because i wouldnt forgive myself if my pet ended up dying without me being there, me disliking large events is another reason but its secondary. however, it doesnt take 3 people to watch a sick dog.
his sister being sick is an excellent reason for HER to miss the basketball game not his parents, if it was severe you could argue that one of the parents stay with his sister while the other goes to the game
his sister having a bad day at work is a mediocre but acceptable reason for HER to miss his graduation, but not for his parents
his sisters dog being sick is a perfectly fine reason for HER to miss the wdding but not for his parents.
The only thing I'll say is: first story, the wife went and changed the locks on her decision then yelled at him for doing the same. That's the only reason I'd have given the wife a .1 BH score
I will say that the best man didn't cause drama at the wedding. He posted the video after they had left for their honeymoon so the wedding was done and it went off without a hitch. The drama came afterwards.
The husband changes the locks so someone can steal from her? Ok, every single time, she gets to steal from you
Story 2: Never play favorites. It's gonna bite you hard down the road because the others will call you out.
First story is like: wife “the rain through the hole in the roof is destroying our stuff”. Op “but I had a talk to the rain “. Big storm destroys more stuff Wife ...gets roof fixed. It’s threatening to rain... op undoes roof repair “bUt iT PrOmIsEd Not To dEsTrOy aNyThInG”. Wife leaves. Yeah, op, yta
Rslash you didn't even mention the cringe of how it's his "sweet sister" and his beautiful wife who "loves to serve". It's weird that he described them that way. Gives me the ick.
As someone who has made cinnamon rolls from scratch before, the wife absolutely was in the right to make that the bill to die on.
Cinnamon rolls require SO much effort to make, that it’s almost not worth it.
Also I would’ve divorced the husband.
Story 3: Man, don't you hate it when someone is constantly late to everything?
Best video in a long time. XD I was laughing every other minute instead of groaning at terrible people. Nice palette cleanser.
Damn I am dying laughing at the fact she framed that invitation...
This is a family story worth framing for all of the wrong reasons!
Honestly, it sounds like the parents just didn't want to go to wedding story OP's minor and major life events if they're willing to use a sick dog as an excuse to not go.
First story.... OP is definitely the AH! He won't support his wife, when she is being robbed.
He had a few updates and it seems like he's putting forth an effort to change into a better person. I guess the people in the comment section of OP's post set him straight.
Holy nutballs. That first story was a total 180 and I'm proud of OP for admitting they were wrong and that their sister is a complete butthole. They still have to repair the trust in their relationship with their spouse, but that's one of the most redeemable stories I've heard on this channel
Story 1: Bruh, that wife sounds like a saint, she gets -2 out of 5 buttholes.
She was wrong, and allowed to punish the sister for wronging here. She could have justifiably given out a punishment that would have benefited her directly as recompensation, for example a deep cleaning of the house, or some other labor to replace some of the broken/damaged stuff.
But no, this saint of a women use her opportunity to punish the sister to use it to do a super kind thing for another family who is dealing with what has to be one of the worst things imaginable. Holy crap OP, im glad you came to your senses eventually, but you fucked up big time, and you better beg and grovel for months man
As soon as rslash asked "how exactly do you plan to make up my wedding?" I got an ad of a woman who snapped her fingers and said "like that!" How ironic.
And the other part of the reason she's mad is because now everyone knows she'll never change
The best friend in the next-to-last story, about the sister who was always ruining OP's special days, is very ballsy. If he were my best friend and I had faced a similar situation, I'd be buying him beer for the rest of his life AND naming my first-born after him if he did that.
And no, I wouldn't take it down.
For the last story, reminds me of my maternal grandmother. She was always late getting ready, especially for a movie. She'd always say, "well, there's always a cartoon or two plus other fluff." No, there's not. They haven't shown news reels and cartoons before movies since at least the 1950s. We were always late to a movie. I think my mom had to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with her concerning that.
Whoever's reading this, i pray that whatever you're going through gets better and whatever you're struggling with or worrying about is going to be fine and that everyone has a fantastic day! Amen
Be gone bot
As someone who has a mom who is also chronically late, I love that last story. So many times have I said to extended family "just tell her it's an hour earlier, then we'll be there on time." I can see myself doing the same thing, 100 percent.
Isn't the method of dealing with consistently late people is to tell them an earlier time so they will show up on time?
I've been 17. I had a slight klepto problem when it specificity comes to coins. Not fucking rings from dead grandmas. I'm definitely a glutton. If I ask to eat something and was specifically told "NO," I'd just find something else to snack on. It really isn't that hard. These kids are so immature and possibly dangerous.
Welcome to rslash where we will pee and poo gracefully
wa
yes
There really aren't very many acceptable reasons to miss the wedding of someone you care about. Another friend of my best friend missed his wedding because his sister's wedding was on the same day, and, several years later, we still give him crap for it. Admittedly, that falls into that acceptable reason category, but it's a grey area, and he's our friend so we will rib him for it for the rest of our lives.
Did anyone here R/Slash trying not to cry in the first story? My heart breaks for that poor baby too
The sisters dog is sick?! And that's why you can't come to your son's wedding?! Have the sister take the dog to the vet and sit with it if she is so upset! Your daughter's dog has nothing to do with you going to your son's wedding. Aholes, both the parents and the sister
First story, I was all for the rules about no one can be in their house without them there. However, these "rules" about doing more chores? Yeah, no, sounds like that is going to start the husband down a path of a sexless marriage, because she has already lost respect for him and he is probably not getting it back.
Hey fellas, does being kind and considerate to the woman you married make you a beta cuck?
?? Chores= no sex?
That wedding friend isn't an AH, he's _legend._
Nah the girls in the first story aren't even mean girl characters, they're Euphoria Characters
😂💀
I have an aunt who always arrived really late.
According to my sister, they had to do her invitation saying the wedding was to start at 12 but actually start at 3. 3 hours early so the wedding could start on time. When she found out she was pissed. I'm still confused to this day as to why she was pissed.