Thank you so much for this episode Sally and Alex! The piece about expressing anger and having the difficult conversations when appropriate really rings home for me as it’s something I struggle with. At home my expressing anger and having the difficult conversations has been quite traumatising in the past as it has most often engendered the throwing back of a lot of anger, hatred, denial, dismissal back to me... which has felt extremely damaging and painful and hurtful so I avoid at all cost, although I do try and address some of the issues in as light a way as possible... just to test the waters ... and even then the majority of the time there is immediate hypersensitivity, rejection, denial, an attempt to shut me down etc ... so the territory is a tricky minefield especially as I live at home So it’s good to have this opportunity to reflect on this point and explore the issue in a little bit more depth Thank you so much 🙏
Sally you are so strong and resilient .honour yourself and your progress for this wonderful quality. Thank you for inspiring us all and sharing with us and helping us all on our healing journey.. I liked what Alex said Patience - Persistence and Practice and having the ability to see and how this is a good defence in our healing journey to recovery. I feel I have to be a warrior in my life to overcome so much that has happened so I like this quote from Leo Tolstoy " The two most powerful warriors are patience and time". Go gently and kindly with yourself,wishing you all the best.
Thank you. I found that really helpful. I really struggle with my emotions, I'm completely overhwelmed at the moment. I wish I could feel/express my sadness. It's really helpful to hear that expressing her emotions made her feel better physically - it encourages me to be braver, my gut dysmotility has kicked off because I'm so stressed. I've just reduced my painkillers, I can feel the tensions I'm holding in my shoulders and neck and I'm noticing migraines much earlier.
This week I can relate closely. I have so much unsaid because I can't see how saying it would resolve anything. But now I understand that I'm holding it all in my body and it's making me sick
Holly, thank you so much for sharing. I can so relate! My stepfather did the same after my mum died. It was like a soap in the face. So disrespectful! But after a while I realized it's his inability to cope that drove him in the arms of another woman. It's not my place to judge. But... I also had to ventilate my feelings about it. Just like I can't judge him, he doesn't have the right to judge me for the feelings I have about it. It just is.... I wish you all the best and will follow your journey.
I can really relate to this today... had to have an uncomfortable conversation that I'd been putting off. What I had to focus on was that the conversation would suck for only a short time, when in comparison the issue was causing so much more misery in my life. Short term discomfort for much longer term happiness. Also putting my own needs ahead of making other people happy... still working on that!
What a good reminder of how holding in emotion can increase symptoms. I have put off a few uncomfortable conversations and this is making me revisit that decision, in terms of timing, expectations, facing my fears of rejection or of being targeted by the person’s anger, etc. Much for me to sort out. A great video! Sally is so honest with herself and I admire that very much.
I cannot even imagine how tough it is to try and get better from cfs and hold down a job. I was fortunate to have a husband who supported me leaving work over 10 years ago, and supports me totally financially. We are not wealthy by any means, he is not in a high paying job. I don't know how we have managed + raising two teenagers at the time ( a few bank loans along the way) .Without him I would be on a sickness benefit, and living I don't know how or where . it is so tough . Sally gets a new job working from home in the end - that is great I hope it really works out for her for the better.
A useful session for me to listen to Sally and Alex. Bravo for your honesty and brave openness about this painful and challenging time in your life Sally, you're great! Really connect on the somatising of the pain bit. Understand the wisdom of getting the timing right for a "courageous conversation". I'm curious to know what a constructive alternative would be while waiting to have that conversation... what came up for me was shouting into a pillow, having a good rant in the cellar or appropriate hidden location, a more demonstrative EFT session with colourful language and heartfelt expression of emotion.
Thank you so much for this episode Sally and Alex!
The piece about expressing anger and having the difficult conversations when appropriate really rings home for me as it’s something I struggle with.
At home my expressing anger and having the difficult conversations has been quite traumatising in the past as it has most often engendered the throwing back of a lot of anger, hatred, denial, dismissal back to me... which has felt extremely damaging and painful and hurtful
so I avoid at all cost, although I do try and address some of the issues in as light a way as possible... just to test the waters ... and even then the majority of the time there is immediate hypersensitivity, rejection, denial, an attempt to shut me down etc ... so the territory is a tricky minefield especially as I live at home
So it’s good to have this opportunity to reflect on this point and explore the issue in a little bit more depth
Thank you so much
🙏
Sally you are so strong and resilient .honour yourself and your progress for this wonderful quality. Thank you for inspiring us all and sharing with us and helping us all on our healing journey.. I liked what Alex said Patience - Persistence and Practice and having the ability to see and how this is a good defence in our healing journey to recovery. I feel I have to be a warrior in my life to overcome so much that has happened so I like this quote from Leo Tolstoy " The two most powerful warriors are patience and time". Go gently and kindly with yourself,wishing you all the best.
Thank you. I found that really helpful. I really struggle with my emotions, I'm completely overhwelmed at the moment. I wish I could feel/express my sadness. It's really helpful to hear that expressing her emotions made her feel better physically - it encourages me to be braver, my gut dysmotility has kicked off because I'm so stressed. I've just reduced my painkillers, I can feel the tensions I'm holding in my shoulders and neck and I'm noticing migraines much earlier.
This week I can relate closely. I have so much unsaid because I can't see how saying it would resolve anything. But now I understand that I'm holding it all in my body and it's making me sick
Holly, thank you so much for sharing. I can so relate! My stepfather did the same after my mum died. It was like a soap in the face. So disrespectful! But after a while I realized it's his inability to cope that drove him in the arms of another woman.
It's not my place to judge. But... I also had to ventilate my feelings about it. Just like I can't judge him, he doesn't have the right to judge me for the feelings I have about it. It just is....
I wish you all the best and will follow your journey.
I can really relate to this today... had to have an uncomfortable conversation that I'd been putting off. What I had to focus on was that the conversation would suck for only a short time, when in comparison the issue was causing so much more misery in my life. Short term discomfort for much longer term happiness. Also putting my own needs ahead of making other people happy... still working on that!
What a good reminder of how holding in emotion can increase symptoms. I have put off a few uncomfortable conversations and this is making me revisit that decision, in terms of timing, expectations, facing my fears of rejection or of being targeted by the person’s anger, etc. Much for me to sort out. A great video! Sally is so honest with herself and I admire that very much.
I cannot even imagine how tough it is to try and get better from cfs and hold down a job. I was fortunate to have a husband who supported me leaving work over 10 years ago, and supports me totally financially. We are not wealthy by any means, he is not in a high paying job. I don't know how we have managed + raising two teenagers at the time ( a few bank loans along the way) .Without him I would be on a sickness benefit, and living I don't know how or where . it is so tough . Sally gets a new job working from home in the end - that is great I hope it really works out for her for the better.
A useful session for me to listen to Sally and Alex. Bravo for your honesty and brave openness about this painful and challenging time in your life Sally, you're great! Really connect on the somatising of the pain bit. Understand the wisdom of getting the timing right for a "courageous conversation". I'm curious to know what a constructive alternative would be while waiting to have that conversation... what came up for me was shouting into a pillow, having a good rant in the cellar or appropriate hidden location, a more demonstrative EFT session with colourful language and heartfelt expression of emotion.
😢 I feel for you Im struggling to feel better xx