The thing I found that helped me with my Parasympathetic Nervous system is Slow Deep breathing at 3 Breaths a Minute. When I started my breathing was 20 odd shallow breathes per Minute It took me Months to master it and sometimes I would spend 8 hours a day doing NOTHING else other then focussing on my breathing. It has paid off big time, as now when I become aware that I have become stressed, I go into my Slow Deep Breathing and usually within 5 to 10 Minutes, 30 Minutes worst case, my shoulders drop my arms drop and my body relaxes, it is amazing. Now having mastered this tool I am able to work on my emotions which have been supressed (It is how I survived My Highly Dysfunctional Childhood) for all of my 74 years.
Thats so good yourve found what works for you. Ive also heard other spiritual teachers say to activate your parasympathetic nervous system to relax and meditate or to calm the mind this breathing technique works. Breathe in slowly through the nose to the count of 4, hold for 2, breathe out slowly(through pursed lips or not) to the count of 6 pressing your abdomen into your backbone as you go, repeat about 3 times or as needed. I find it works to centre and calm when feeling emotional overwhelm , when triggered for any reason,or just to relax a busy mind.
That’s incredible, I am 65 and keep thinking why haven’t I managed to process things but the pattern of repressing is tough to get out of. Can it be 4 breaths per minute
@@sampaterson1352 I have tried various Therapies over decdes without success until l tried the Deep Breathing. I hasten to add that I did not go straight from 20 Breaths a Minute to 3, I did it in stages, first 10, then 8, then 6, then 4, then 3 and this took about 6 Months Now that I have mastered the breathing , I am having amazing results with Internal Family Systems (IFS).
@sampaterson1352 I do 4 7 8. 4 seconds in, hold for 7, out for 8. I never heard of only 3 breaths a minute. I'll have to look that up and how to learn it.
ALEX... you simply are amazing!.. Your true, compassionate self is so evident, as always, which, as you know, is so tremendously important in any therapeutic communication... I have watched a lot of your videos... Your knowledge and empathy and interventions are awe-inspiring. THANK YOU-from my heart and soul! 💖💖💖
ACCESS the emotions and sensations ("learning to feel" is a great way to put it), breathe into them, explore the experience and even the thoughts associated - these things help to inform our nervous systems we are SAFE and can connect, engage, etc. Just like we need to breathe while stretching or working out or our bodies will tighten up and shut down, it teaches our system we can actually handle the perceived threat.
Present moment awareness, listening to your few videos to be with my breath and body and present moment, some of Irene Lyons neuro sensory practices, yoga nidra. I also just recently purchased your book and looking forward to diving in deeper.
For me, the best way to "come to my senses" is to spend time in the wild. As you say, healing is a "natural state" so all we have to do is reconnect with nature and bring ourselves to feel we are an integral part of it.
Understanding and accepting that it was my perception of my abuser that was exploited to hurt me, helped with feelings of depression. However, I still deal with feelings of anger and thoughts of revenge.
So, so good. I love EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and the Sedona Method (learning how to welcome and release emotions) and sometimes I combine them together. It helps SO much. 💗
Nice video, as always. (A gentle comment: the trend now is to have background music on videos like this and I actually find it dysregulating and distracting.)
I find it very difficult to let go of the pain of the past perhaps because operating in a high state of alert and always preparing for bad things to happen has served me well in the past and I find it difficult to let that go. I am afraid i wont be prepared anymore. and will not be able to cope if anything bad happens.
I dont have money either. But there are free things we can do. Walking, meditating (I use insight timer) the free app version. It's an ongoing process and we dont have to buy a book. Believe me I get it. People with money do have a huge advantage and it feels like crap to be unable to get the same tools. I'm trying hard to help myself because living in a fight or flight mode is torturous.
@@marcia2toogreat attitude. I’ve found so much free yoga on TH-cam (I love Yoga with Adrienne) and around town. And the library has everything- free books, free audiobooks etc. and nature is free. Bare foot grounding is free and helpful. If you have a bathtub, a warm bath is super healing too. And a for me 12 step programs (all free) for family members from addictive families was clutch.
Spousal abuse also causes trauma which is why I got divorced last year. My childhood abuse put me at a disadvantage when I got married nearly 30 years ago. If I had known then what I know now I would have stayed single until I found someone who knew how to be a good provider, protector and partner
My system is too calm. The freeze and dissociate response. It’s terrible I can’t do anything I want to do. I’m so calm I barely react anymore. Feeling my feelings I can do that to push me into an anxiety state which is better than shut down. But I go right back into freeze mode.
I cured myself with the optimum health clinic for about two weeks and then I took on some extra stress and I totally crashed and I wasn't sure how to deal with it and I've struggled ever since. It's kind of frustrating to get so close but there's nowhere to go for help,
I honestly don't know, the stress comes when I take on something extra, a new job, course, hobby etc and I it makes me crash, I'm not sure how to deal with it @@LeonM144
Regulation does not equal calm ;) Regulation means autonomic regulation of the primal part of the nervous system and i we need to use strategies that are brain based (now I need to use this technique to calm myself etc.), that is not real regulation.
The thing I found that helped me with my Parasympathetic Nervous system is Slow Deep breathing at 3 Breaths a Minute. When I started my breathing was 20 odd shallow breathes per Minute
It took me Months to master it and sometimes I would spend 8 hours a day doing NOTHING else other then focussing on my breathing.
It has paid off big time, as now when I become aware that I have become stressed, I go into my Slow Deep Breathing and usually within 5 to 10 Minutes, 30 Minutes worst case, my shoulders drop my arms drop and my body relaxes, it is amazing.
Now having mastered this tool I am able to work on my emotions which have been supressed (It is how I survived My Highly Dysfunctional Childhood) for all of my 74 years.
Thats so good yourve found what works for you. Ive also heard other spiritual teachers say to activate your parasympathetic nervous system to relax and meditate or to calm the mind this breathing technique works. Breathe in slowly through the nose to the count of 4, hold for 2, breathe out slowly(through pursed lips or not) to the count of 6 pressing your abdomen into your backbone as you go, repeat about 3 times or as needed. I find it works to centre and calm when feeling emotional overwhelm , when triggered for any reason,or just to relax a busy mind.
That’s incredible, I am 65 and keep thinking why haven’t I managed to process things but the pattern of repressing is tough to get out of. Can it be 4 breaths per minute
@@sampaterson1352 I have tried various Therapies over decdes without success until l tried the Deep Breathing.
I hasten to add that I did not go straight from 20 Breaths a Minute to 3, I did it in stages, first 10, then 8, then 6, then 4, then 3 and this took about 6 Months
Now that I have mastered the breathing , I am having amazing results with Internal Family Systems (IFS).
Thank you for sharing - so simple and powerful
@sampaterson1352 I do 4 7 8. 4 seconds in, hold for 7, out for 8. I never heard of only 3 breaths a minute. I'll have to look that up and how to learn it.
I put some good dance music on and visualise myself how I want to be and the life I want to live as if I’m living it.. Always makes me feel better
ALEX... you simply are amazing!.. Your true, compassionate self is so evident, as always, which, as you know, is so tremendously important in any therapeutic communication... I have watched a lot of your videos... Your knowledge and empathy and interventions are awe-inspiring. THANK YOU-from my heart and soul! 💖💖💖
You are such a lovely kind man, Thank you ❤
I find walking in nature and EFT tapping to be particularly effective together.
ACCESS the emotions and sensations ("learning to feel" is a great way to put it), breathe into them, explore the experience and even the thoughts associated - these things help to inform our nervous systems we are SAFE and can connect, engage, etc. Just like we need to breathe while stretching or working out or our bodies will tighten up and shut down, it teaches our system we can actually handle the perceived threat.
Present moment awareness, listening to your few videos to be with my breath and body and present moment, some of Irene Lyons neuro sensory practices, yoga nidra. I also just recently purchased your book and looking forward to diving in deeper.
For me, the best way to "come to my senses" is to spend time in the wild. As you say, healing is a "natural state" so all we have to do is reconnect with nature and bring ourselves to feel we are an integral part of it.
Your videos are the best I've seen on these topics because they are direct, compact and easy to understand.
These videos are so helpful. They point me in the right direction,but I feel like I should go to therapy as well. I’m so traumatized and broken.
Lots of thanks! ❤
Understanding and accepting that it was my perception of my abuser that was exploited to hurt me, helped with feelings of depression. However, I still deal with feelings of anger and thoughts of revenge.
So, so good. I love EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and the Sedona Method (learning how to welcome and release emotions) and sometimes I combine them together. It helps SO much. 💗
Thank you! The topic you address is always good!🙏🙏
Thanks for sharing
Appreciate for sharing, God bless you
I need the book
Where do we find your Book please ?
Healing comes when you learn to truly love yourself. Its ok not to be ok.
I cry...a lot 😢
I highly recommend the Books of Pete Walker
Me too especially now that I find myself suffering from illness and pain and see no way out
@@LeonM144 Pete Walker's work has been a bible for me ❤
Nice video, as always.
(A gentle comment: the trend now is to have background music on videos like this and I actually find it dysregulating and distracting.)
The background noise. Ugh. I want to hear you but the rhythm of the music is distracting. I strain to hear
Relax and Breathe 😊❤
I find it very difficult to let go of the pain of the past perhaps because operating in a high state of alert and always preparing for bad things to happen has served me well in the past and I find it difficult to let that go. I am afraid i wont be prepared anymore. and will not be able to cope if anything bad happens.
Of course, but something! What if you don’t have money? Too bad? I hate this society, punish the most vulnerable and it’s all about money 😢
I dont have money either. But there are free things we can do. Walking, meditating (I use insight timer) the free app version. It's an ongoing process and we dont have to buy a book. Believe me I get it. People with money do have a huge advantage and it feels like crap to be unable to get the same tools. I'm trying hard to help myself because living in a fight or flight mode is torturous.
@@marcia2toogreat attitude. I’ve found so much free yoga on TH-cam (I love Yoga with Adrienne) and around town. And the library has everything- free books, free audiobooks etc. and nature is free. Bare foot grounding is free and helpful. If you have a bathtub, a warm bath is super healing too. And a for me 12 step programs (all free) for family members from addictive families was clutch.
You can try parasympathetic nervous system breathing by going to headfulness-Luke Horton channel here on TH-cam 😊❤
I’ve spent so much time in an over loaded state - I have over whelming brain fog that never goes away. The brain fog started when I was 12.
You are not alone.
Spousal abuse also causes trauma which is why I got divorced last year. My childhood abuse put me at a disadvantage when I got married nearly 30 years ago. If I had known then what I know now I would have stayed single until I found someone who knew how to be a good provider, protector and partner
My system is too calm. The freeze and dissociate response. It’s terrible I can’t do anything I want to do. I’m so calm I barely react anymore.
Feeling my feelings I can do that to push me into an anxiety state which is better than shut down. But I go right back into freeze mode.
Struggling😢😢😢
💕
Healing is not linear. Sometimes it's really hard, but it gets better. You are not alone ❤
What if you are lacking some nutrients the body can’t heal without fixing them first no?
I cured myself with the optimum health clinic for about two weeks and then I took on some extra stress and I totally crashed and I wasn't sure how to deal with it and I've struggled ever since.
It's kind of frustrating to get so close but there's nowhere to go for help,
It sounds like you are already stronger than before. How can you beat the new difficulties?
I honestly don't know, the stress comes when I take on something extra, a new job, course, hobby etc and I it makes me crash, I'm not sure how to deal with it @@LeonM144
Regulation does not equal calm ;) Regulation means autonomic regulation of the primal part of the nervous system and i we need to use strategies that are brain based (now I need to use this technique to calm myself etc.), that is not real regulation.
Slow running or a walk