I think it’s worth noting that most of us grew up in households where our mothers submitted wholeheartedly to men who were not great leaders (abusers, cheaters, financial illiterate, etc) and because of that most of us women vowed to never blindly submit to men because we viewed it as a weakness that our mothers had. Personally I find it hard to submit because I was raised or rather “trained” to submit my future husband. I hated every bit of it because why am I taught at 15 to submit to my future husband while my brother doesn’t get trained to be a great leader for his future wife? Why is it that the submission narrative is pushed so much more than the leader narrative? Most men can go their whole lives without being told/taught how to be a great husband.
Thats where the problem is. We watched our mothers' hard earned money be squandered through poor financial habits amd decisions and we are expected to emulate submission???? How??
Good point. As a man, I whole heartedly agree with you but fortunately your great mothers “trained” you to be amazing wives but us men had no leaders or father figures to “train” us to be great leaders. And society continues to pay the price for that.
Cathartic:) I'm a licensed couples therapist here in the US and I absolutely love how you guys navigate through tough conversations like these. I believe that you both are right. A wife's lack of trust (submission) is a reflection of her and should not be taken personally by her husband but because we are humans with emotions it is almost impossible for husbands to not be upset. Husbands have every right to navigate through their own upset about this with God, just as wives should navigate thier lack of trust with God. As mentioned, things become harmful when those upsets & doubts are thrown at eachother. I love you guys! Keep making content like this, it's so needed! -Tonea Smith
I always struggled with submission. After listening to Iyanla Vanzant in an interview recently and she mentioned how a lot of women are men in skirts. Basically, she was saying we show up with masculine energy. It was a light bulb moment for me. I grew up in a very patriarchal home, my father had the final say on everything. Viewing this as a child and how my mother seemed not to question, it created a belief in me that femininity was a weakness. For most of my childhood, I emulated my father more than my mother. My guard goes up whenever i feel like im being told and not asked.
At 25-27 min my heart broke for Phethola. Although she attributed her mood to tiredness, I feel her struggles with trust have a deeper root that needs to be explored more. I think primarily, it could be that trust puts us as women in a vulnerable position. When people fail us , we develop defence mechanisms that keep us safe from disappointments, hurt and unmet needs. Those walls are particularly what we struggle with as women in marriage. Our primary need is safety so if we've been let down in the past, we unintentionally monitor, question, argue, pester, fight to avoid the feeling of being let down because it really hurts. On the other hand, I think as you rightfully said, we all need to give each other grace in the area of submission and leadership. I feel Lerato has a strong need for trust. This affects him because it affects his confidence as a man. When Phethola says, "dont take it personally", I feel it dismisses his emotions and make him go into his shell which is painful. I am so proud that you brought up this Convo guys, so many people struggle and never work through these issues. As a Specialist Wellness Counsellor, I learnt a lot.
@@malerekomochekoane6444 Awww Yes.. I was a member of UCTSCF while I was a student. Small world indeed!. Please pass my greetings to him. What is his name?
I feel like I agree with Mrs Makhs when she says "don't take it personally" and to me, I understood it as "you will feel some type of way about it, we can't control how we feel, but give me the grace to know that I am not doing this as a personal attack to you, don't take it personally"
You know what I appreciate about Mrs Makhs? That she can see when she’s wrong and takes ownership of it and vocalizes it to her husband, something that some wives (including myself) find really difficult to do. I’m inspired to start having these really vulnerable conversations that I’ve been shying away from for a long time.
Hey sis. Noted. I’ve mentioned it in other installments that it makes me shy. I sometimes prefer the compliments in private and not so much on our public platform🫠
I remember reading this devotion that convicted me, at basically said God will bless you for your obedience as a wife. So when you submit to your hubby as unto God He will bless your obedience. So even your hubby's bad decisions the Lord will work it out together for your good simply because you were obedient to God's word. That really helped me see Submission differently
41:07 😅 I stand to be corrected, I think what Lerato is trying to preach is that wives should trust God and that wives submitting to their husbands should be as a result of their trust in and submission to God first, not as a result of wives trusting their husbands, but it doesn't take away from the fact that they'd want to be trusted by their wives and it really does hurt learning that they are falling short in some areas that they'd want to be good and fully trusted in. ❤❤❤ This episode has blessed my heart so much.
I cried a lot in the beginning of this video because I realised that I resonate a lot with Mrs Makh ,she 100% articulated the root causes of my current struggle (trust) I am experiencing in my relationship and I know for sure had I not listened to this video I was going to struggle even more to fully submit to my future husband . I met my first boyfriend when I was 24 years and I think being independent for a very long time contributed a lot to this struggle and honestly I wasn’t aware of the harm it can cause to my partner but after listening to this video I had to do a lot of self introspection and ask God to help me. I will definitely share it with him so that he can also play his part😊 I love the fact that I didn’t only cry but also laughed through out the episode. May God continue to bless your union fam❤🫶🏽 ,we are learning and growing 📍here 😇
Great mothers “train” daughters to be amazing wives but us men had no leaders or father figures to “train” us to be great leaders. And society continues to pay the price for that. It’s hard for woman to trust us when we fighting a lot internal and external battles and straying away from Christ.
Allow the man to have his feelings. He desires that you trust him and when that desire is not met (for whatever reason) it will disappoint him and hurt him. Allow him his experience. He understands where you’re coming from, but that understanding doesn’t change his emotional experience
I agree. This conversation was a bit unfair for me. I feel like Pheto was a bit unfair to Lerato. She attributed her inability to submit to Lerato's lack of leadership. She took responsibility, but not really. She passed it on to him. It was uncomfortable for me to watch.
This conversation shows that indeed there was "a fire conversation" had behind closed doors. It also got intense real quick at the beginning. I didn't know if I should keep my eyes on the screen or watch with my eyes low. lol. I loved it. I pray for you lovely beings that as you pour into us, God will pour into you massively. May the roots of this marriage grow deeper in love and with love. God is for you. Love yall
Mrs Makhs mara your honesty is giving. You guys are so mature love love. Other partners will be upset for days if their partners said " I'm not taking a bullet for no one
That “GUYS LIKE THE VIDEO!!! LIKE THE VIDEO! LIKE THE VIDEO!” Yeeey it made me like it before even listening 😂😂 yoh uzosishaya uLerato at this point ! 😭😂 we love yall ❤️❤️❤️
I have to say this, this channel always brings me closer to God.. the world is so corrupted that sometimes we sway too far off the grid and not follow Him
One thing about you guys? YOU ALWAYS DISH OUT VULNERABILITY AND ORIGINALITY, especially in serious matters like this one and that's honestly one of the reasons I keep on getting back to this channel. Also, this was very informative and thank you so much for giving me perspective. ❤️❤️❤️ Oh, and Cathartic. 😂✌🏼
Cathartic 🌸 This was really good. I feel like we need a part 2 of this 🥺 From a woman’s perspective I think we as women find it hard to submit because we think that it’s letting a man control us and also most of us grew up in homes where we never saw what submission looked like, we actually saw the opposite, hence why we might fight it at first. So when we get into relationships like marriage we unconsciously practice what we saw growing up. I think we need more conversations like this and also from the women’s side to teach our new generation that there is power in submission, and you submitting as wife does mean you are weak at all, it’s the opposite
I think I’ve said this plenty times but your ability to engage such conversations in a concise and empathic manner. In a way that young couples can relate. I mean I relate to both sides, the trusting of me as a helper but also the inability to fully trust my husband with leading, both have lead to breakdowns in our relationship. What a powerful sermon and I’m going to call it that because you were preaching.
Although I rarely comment, this was such a beautiful conversation. I love your way of disagreeing but still trying to understand one another. I'm 19 years old and I've learnt so much. Honestly submission used to seem like a weak part of myself but now I see it as my strength. Absolutely inspiring. I'm going to share this to my dad 🙂.
Love this! I agree with Lerato, submission should not have conditions. I really think it's about trust - across the board. I love that Stephanie Ike mentioned that if one isn't wholly submitted to God , it will be hard to submit to your husband... Submission should not be mistaken for weakness and being a doormat door though. and to the men, to lay your life down for your wife is also not conditional🙂
What a wholesome conversation❤ I love the submission definition. Also, I agree with Lerato that submitting isn't supposed to be conditional because it's a command from God. Same as "Do not murder" for instance. We are not supposed to rely on our feelings but the Holy spirit working in us to be obedient to God. It comes with humbleness also. When Jesus was about to be crucified, He asked God if there wasn't any other way to carry out God's plan, He however submitted to God's will above his own. Stephanie Ike once mentioned that marriage is like an office in God, men as leaders are ought to create an environment where women can strive in their divine gift as wives of which submission is one of them. God created marriage for a divine purpose, for His Kingdom. The enemy doesn't like that hence we have a woke culture that goes against everything the Bible says. Satan's plan is to discredit God that how he created things to be aren't how they are supposed to be. When I often to trust God, I know my feelings are wrong because He's the all knowing God, I can't even trust myself. God knows best. I love you also mentioned that we cannot do it without God. But truth is we are not without God, as born again Christians we have Christ living in us, and we have the mind of Christ.
You know, what you guys talk about here is quite something. We all need to have more of these talk as couples. My husband would normally credit and it would make me feel uncomfortable, cause in all honestly I give credit to God. So I always tell, it God, not me. I had to unlearn a lot of things regarding love, and showing that to my husband. So I simply would pray constantly for God to make me love my husband the way my husband need. And thats where it started.... because my kind of love may not be the kind of love my husband needs. Mind you, I love my husband very much! but the more I leaned on God for that, the more I saw positive growth and affirmation from my husband.
You guys are literally flashing God all around. I'm in awe of the transparency here. This conversation is an issue in the body of Chirst not only in marriage but in relationship with God nje. May God fully BLESS you guys for spreading Him around the way you just did. Beautiful!
If anything this conversation has done is to broaden my mind and sharpened my lens about marriage. May you continue to be so bold and real about real issues. Submission becomes easy when the leadership has a clear vision and when the vision is painted boldly. I also think that as women we eventually submit to vision especially when the vision comes from God who gives it to the husbands.
I love it here! I struggle alot with commenting but I've made it a point to change my habits and be intentional like you guys are always intentional with delivering content that helps us!!! Forever grateful ❤
Wow! Profound installment. This is why Marriage truly is the depiction of Christ's love for His bride( the church). So much sacrificing and crucifying of the flesh to do just as Christ has done for us. Im in waiting for my boaz and trust is definitely something i too struggle with. Been providing for myself for so long and doing things by myself. Only Gods devine intervention will transform my tainted heart and this was a good reminder to keep seeking Him concerning this topic. ❤
Carthatic 💖 What stood out for me is what Mrs Phetola was trying to emphasis that we have our seasons of finding it difficult to trust God (our heavenly father) which could ultimately make it difficult to trust mere man (and this can include our spouse, earthly parents etc.) and this is not intentional. What Mr Lerato is also trying to emphasis on is that when we do have seasons of mistrust like the Israelites did, it grieved God. So if this grieved God (heavenly father), how much more our spouses (earthly beings) - It is okay to take it personal. Always so refreshing to learn from you BOTH ❤. Thank you for your vulnerability 😊. God bless you ALL.
Cathartic. Being a young adult and gradually becoming the best that God wants me to be, I'm learning so much from this beautiful couple. Love and light. ❤️
I admire the level of maturity at which you both handled this conversation. At some point it got uncomfortable for sis Pheto and swayed a bit but you both brought it back with so much love and honesty. Indeed it is an uncomfortable subject especially for us wives and a requirement we often struggle with. But thank God for such platforms. We learning, unlearning and relearning. We shall come out the best versions of what God wants us to be - to submit as wives (Ephesians 5:22)…and yes, it was cathartic 😍🤩
I feel like you guys think you ramble and maybe other people think so but the time you take to talk about things, the way you talk about things, the depth at which you talk, the thought, the entire process of the conversation you share with us is so crucial. I say this because its a lesson to a lot of us. We are learning a higher level of maturity, in communication and in just loving one another in our marriages. Thank you for sharing your lives with us. This is a ministry in itself. God bless your marriage, may He continue to use you. Love you guys all the way from Botswana
This amount of vulnerability to help others is honorable and a raw conversation from the people of God is very important for couples of our times. Thank you guys for this powerful conversation. I've gained a lot. The Lord bless you 😊❤!
Cathartic, that was a very insightful conversation. I think submission and love should not be expectations that one holds for the other because you will be disappointed. Expect nothing, and you will receive everything!
Y'all are so real with us, we don't deserve this!!! This is completely insane! You people are a blessing to us as a generation. I cannot wait to watch this channel with my husband one day!
I absolutely love how you are not afraid to have the difficult conversations. It is the reason I keep coming back and yearning for more. The honesty from both of you is refreshing. Please keep these conversations coming.
Thanks for sharing this Nomsa. Wow, was a real conversation, filled with trigger points indeed. As a young man, seeing my mom and dad still battle with this till today. Gives me a reality check and I realise that submission and leadership are hard and will never be perfect in our worldly point of view but their perfected by God as marriage is introduced and perfected to give Him glory. Thank you for not compromising on the standards of God. I love the fact that this conversation was because the Holy Spirit revealed to Mr Makhs. #Cathartic #leadership
Cathartic ❤ These are really good conversations. My mom introduced me to your channel when I was in grade 8 which is 2 years ago. I am now in grade 10 and I have grown to love you even. This installment was about submission but I learnt a lot from your words that I can apply in other areas of my life as a teenager in christ.. Mr Makhs said that "God's standard is against the flesh so much that it is nearly impossible to meet it without him".. That anchored my heart.. Mr Makhs said "Explanation isn't equals to Justification".. A lot of times when my mother reprimands me for doing something bad I think that just because I can explain why I did it, it means she must take my actions.. But now I understand responsibility from your words.. I love the fam❤.. You are making an impact more than you think you are... From a 15 year old.. I love you ❤
We got triggered & healed all in one video! Kuningi for us all, male & female but with such videos, we are encouraged to have conversations & be vulnerable. Siyabonga guys!
Such an honest discussion, however with this installment I felt like in most parts Mrs Makhs wasn't listening to Mr Makhs 100, she seemed ready to defend herself though she didn't need to because she did say she was hurt with what he said about this matter when they spoke prior to shooting. She wouldn't let him finish some of the points he was trying to make. Overall they do communicate well, Dr Phil would say you can't change what you can't acknowledge... love this channel ❤ growth definitely is uncomfortable.
🔥🔥🔥🔥☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️ I was either standing or at the edge of my seat. Thank you for this unfiltered conversation. The Holy Spirit did this!! May He keep on using you and increase your anointing🙌🏼🙌🏼 God will restore His order in our generation. Your honesty (testimony!) alone, has launched an attack in the enemies camp. Bless you💕😘 P.S I’m not even married yet but the Lord has revealed to me how the enemy is especially attacking marriages in this season. May He continues to sustain and protect your union♥️♥️♥️ #cathartic!!
Awesome podcast as always. We need to stop thinking submission=slavery/oppression.... I think that's why most times we women just at the mention of the word. Learned alot today and this opened up my eyes 'wide'! Trust goes with submission ...powerful.. we must just trust God and just submit(no excuses, we should all play our rolls accordingly). Show grace always knowing that we also not perfect. I am really blessed by this installment. May God continue to grow you both in your marriage cause you doing great. I pray that you keep winning together as a family. #cathartic Love your love❤
You know this conversation is so deep, I’m reminded of when I’m speaking to my partner as well about things of God, sometimes we find ourselves literally saying the same thing but keep going in circles in disagreement because one has not yet had the revelation, or giving every explanation you can give about a thing yet the person still doesn’t get it until “Will Smith” or “Stephanie Ike” says it one day and a they get a light bulb moment, that is when the revelation from the Holy Spirit comes upon the person. Lerato is making a fair point about taking it personally when Petola doesn’t trust his leadership (as a servant of God, and a spiritual leader for his family) and Petola is also making a fair point of giving each other Grace when it comes to submission and headship. Therefore, Lerato shall give you Grace at times of lack of trust and Petola shall give Grace when your spirit is grieved by her lack of trust. I also struggle with full submission to God or to my partner but it takes work , awareness and intention.
Cathartic Thank you Mr and Mrs Makhs for allowing us to sit in during your 'therapy session'. I've garnered so much insight on communicating through uncomfortable topics in such a graceful and authentic way. Your channel has been an absolute blessing. Blessings and favour to you both 🧡 P. S. Y'all are also helping me expand my vocabulary big time 😄
A beautiful space of vulnerability that you guys provide in here....we love it ! Yeh submission is quite a topic!!! Not even from a place of 'being anti submission or being faminist in marriage" but from a point of Saying, Trusting (submitting)your man in arears where he has display some failures or have let you down, And im not even talking about unfaithfulness noo, arear such as being in a position where he is unable to provide for the home and it is something that you feel could have been avoided, So at that times as a wife you just dont know if ar thus time and going foward can i trust him to make right decision (i.e submitting to his leadership in this area ) To the point of Mrs Maks-which is a beautiful summery "If husband cant follow through it's hard to trust that they will follow through for us" Okay, I'm glad I listened to this till the end , and I have come to amend my comment 😂 #The trusting God(i.e trusting the man ) finally made sense toward the end *Thank you so much this episode really have set me free
I really love how you guys have these difficult conversations to show us that it is possible to talk through it... We might not even agree with each other at the end of the day but the important thing is you can pick and understand where the other partner is or where they are coming from on that particular subject. Thank you so much the Makhs for being vulnerable and unpacking such a touchy subject...
Great conversation guys.I think we need to trust God in our husbands. Because if we trust God in them, we will be able wait (in faith)as long as it takes for our expectations to be met. We trust the Creator that he can put the desire in them to meet our expectations conveniently.
Thank you so much for opening your hearts and home to us. I had different motions at different times, but it takes some wisdom and acknowledgment of the current state to post it. May God reach you where you are ❤. I have been observing Mr Makhs when he struggles with somethings, he is not forceful but persuasive. His level of trusting God appears now and then. What do I mean he let God reveal things that are of concern to his wife. Mrs Makhs you’re blessed and a blessing in your home ❤❤
Not Mr Makhs makin Mrs Makhs blush with that CATHARTIC!! new subscriber alert!!! i felt bad coz i am one of those who has been watching UNSUBSCRIBED!!!!!!!for ages, eish mara askies. CATHARTIC, CATHARTIC, CATHARTIC...love BW
Cathartic bazalwane 😂. I loved this conversation, especially because earlier this week I was watching the same chat Pastor Stephanie was having with Pastor Brenda. These conversations are needed, even though I'm not married it's so eye opening and valuable for the future. Thanks for being vulnerable enough to do this in a public space.
Carthatic.! What i have always admired about the Makhs is AUTHENTICITY! Raw and unfiltered conversations,my husband and i loved this and as is the norm whenever we listen to you guys we pause and reflect on our own marriage! You are the Esthers of this generation! Born for such a time as this! THIS INSTALMENT WAS MY FAVOURITE BY FAR! Love from Botswana.
The number of times I've deliberately ignored this video because I wasn't ready to watch without being defensive... 🤣 I'm glad I watched it when I did. It was indeed CATHARTIC. 😆 I'm sending it to my husband so we can also have this discussion. Thank you, Makhs. You guys are phenomenal. ❤
First of all, cathartic 😂 Second: I understand what Phetola is saying about “taking it personally” because I have felt the same in relationships. But where I think we need to grow is understanding that the knowledge of the “why” doesn’t absolve anyone from the experience or how something makes you feel. That’s why even when we have all the tools, we don’t always do what we know we’re supposed to.
This authenticity is very inspiring. Also, this podcast has made me realize that I'm not as ready to submit as I thought. 😂 Area of sanctification unlocked 😅
If all married couples could create such space to discuss issues affecting them there wouldn't be high divorce rates. Letato and Phetelo your vulnerability and nakedness wow amazing.
It's how y'all came from the point of disagreement and boom, you started complementing each other's points. Just here writing how these videos are therapy for you and Pheto says so. This surely was a tight one but you came out as a team, each one of you knowing your role to help the other better perform at theirs. Kudos to you 🎉 and yeah, Trust God.
Cathartic..sums it very well..thank you for a very honest conversation..shuu..I am 50 years old...and this has truly ministered to me. May the Lord continue to speak to you, through you, and indeed speak for you.
I must say I agree with Lerato’s perspective on the trust issue. If I say to someone “I don’t trust you” it IS personal, and it’s unrealistic for that person to not take that statement personally because I’ve essentially indicted them for not being trustworthy. Whether or not it’s part of the ebbs and flows of relationships, that kind of sentiment/accusation won’t land easy. If someone said to ME “I don’t trust you,” I’d take it personally-not to then go on the defensive, but to search my heart for why they have concluded I’m not trustworthy. Having our faults and failures called out hurts even if called out by someone we love. Grace is due on both ends. (Words in caps are for emphasis, not yelling.) I came back to add, that I DO understand Phetola’s perspective as well. It hurts to discover I’ve grieved God and/or loved ones. (I often beat myself up about it.) God takes it personally when we don’t trust Him, but He also extends grace to help us renew our minds and cleanse our hearts to the point that we CAN trust Him. Without faith it’s impossible to please Him. His grace affords us the opportunity to grow in our faith so that we can please Him.
✨Cathartic ✨ You guys are too real for this chat. The vulnerability, I totally get when you say this was counseling for yourselves. Truly appreciate how you guys keep it 100 with us. ❤
I genuinely love the honesty and the vulnerability. It was such a touchy subject, but I love how you both handled the conversation. You guys are amazing and thank you for always keeping it real!
Wow this conversation is good. Lol I see a lot of myself in Mrs. Makhs. This has opened room for me to introspect and think hard on the type of man I want to marry. I think after this, when i get in a relationship with someone i will consider things like "Do i trust him", "do i trust his leadership" coz i see how trust is largely related to submission.
Mrs Makhs you just hit home when you talked about changing of the light bulb. Trust I think its broad but when a man does not do things like that or take out the trash at first one will be understanding and you start helping because his busy, then it ends up being your responsibility, then its taking the car to the car wash, & and &😒😒. It can build a resentment of some sort.
The light moment at 28mins sent me😭🤣🤣😂😂😂 Mr. Mahks said "bantu ba Modimo" it's rough out here 😭. Beautiful Pheto, as the Lord has convicted you concerning this subject along with it comes the grace to transition from what you thought, to God's ideal standard. I am praying for you, we can't wait to hear a testimony of how it's going sooner than we know. Xo❤
There is so much revelation coming this video. I personally struggle with submission because my mom taught me not to depend on anyone and also because I’ve realised that I don’t trust that God is abundant. But I feel like if one is self aware and is willing to work on surrendering to God then everything else ( submission in a romantic relationship) will fall into place.
Lets be honest...It is hard for a strong and driven woman who naturally is a leader to submit to a man who has not proven to be a good leader...Guys some husbands have no vision and cant make decisions...now a wife must wait forever? I therefore agree that women need to pray for help from God to learn to submit and also men need to seek wisdom from God to lead better and accept help from their wives (which may come thru criticism, questioning) Lerato, your wife is driven and can get things done. When she questions you she is not being nonsubmissive but helping you to lead better😂 I loved it, cause I have the same issues and have learned a lot!❤ Cathartic🎉
33:25 … naaah, consistency is not easy. I think this also needs grace…. it can take quiet a few attempts to get it right yet you’d still be on the right path of discovering yourself and your path. And it’s also important to get out there to try this and that or start such and such coz that’s the only way you’ll discover yr path… and not all of it will be what we initially wanted it to be
Present. Cathartic. Could spend the whole day with the Makhs ❤❤ Can I just say, it's so easy to be submissive to a man who shows great leadership and trusts in God (both of these). Submission is inherent there. A woman won't even think about it. It just comes, nje.
Cathartic:). What a word! What an installment! 1 year later and we are still so blessed. I'm new to your channel and my heart is full. We are grateful to you for allowing God to use you as vessels! Peace and more blessings to your family.
1. Present. 2. Carthatic. Thank you for your allowing God to minister to us with your openess and valnerability. May God bless your union and bring your closer to Him. Niyathandwa.
Cathartic!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂, What an awesome and thought provoking conversation. That submission definition is the best i have heard as well because some of the ones society has taught are the reason we struggle with what really is innate in us as women. Loved every second, thank you for this one. ❤️
Cathartic ❤ This was a wholesome conversation. I agree that submission is possible if one is able to submit to God because personally I was happy to have only gotten married after I was fully surrendered to God. Because I know I would not have been able to fully submit to my husband.
16mins in an I can’t hold back! 1-I saw the title a few days back and started debating it before listening, I wanted to say a man that doesn’t love his wife right can’t expect thorough submission but was battling with using “love”. I’m thrilled to realise what I was actually looking for is “trust” 2-I beg to differ on Christ submission to God being like human wife husband submission. Remember we’re given a directive to submit, Christ was never given a directive because not only is He God in flesh, He is faultless and submitting to a faultless God. When the Word gives instruction it is because God knows are nature could and would sometimes lead us astray. BUT one huge thing we never mention is that this is mentioned in the context of marriage being the most sacred covenant after that of man and God, so this presupposes that the man has taken a wife in the Christlike way, where issues that bring out blatant insubordination would be almost unheard of because the man’s fear and reverence of God wouldn’t let Him abuse his power which leads me to 3-I think a man that verbalises “you must submit” or finds himself having to make that demand is either unevenly yoked or has already failed in his role as a leader, it could be through a number of things such as complacency and disrespect. Submission comes pretty easy to a secure woman, security is brought about by multiples of factors, feeling heard, protected, loved, given reason to take the man at his word. My view is that by nature women are wired to be cared for and one submits to the one that heads their life by caring(also B-road not just financial). A woman that can’t submit usually has a trauma informing that behaviour.
Shu,the honesty and love in this conversation is beautiful. You guys literally thrashed this thing out, in love, till you reached a common ground. I would like to add though that, "I want to do everything for a woman who can do anything for herself" is not biblical ❤ It distorts too many things. Adam brought Eve into a garden. Boas brought Ruth into a field. Xerxes brought Esther into a whole kingdom. This statement creates,or rather, has the potential to perpetuate this unhealthy boss woman complex that a lot of women struggle with. And don't even know that they struggle with it. Which then also negatively effects our understanding of submission. Or the desire to submit to a man.
This conversation was great. Thank you for always being vulnerable on this platform, I can imagine it's not easy, but it brings forth a lot of practical insights to your viewers. Thank you for your obedience in serving the Lord in this way. La re hodisa guys, re a leboha. PS: Love how the conversation came full circle at 45:54 😅🙏🏾❤
I love this topics, woman of today are doing more for them self, and sometimes the man they fail for lead and we are not perfect and this is right for our families. 😢😢 guys i love you so much.❤ i also struggling to submit may the Lord help me. Cathartic
I think it’s worth noting that most of us grew up in households where our mothers submitted wholeheartedly to men who were not great leaders (abusers, cheaters, financial illiterate, etc) and because of that most of us women vowed to never blindly submit to men because we viewed it as a weakness that our mothers had.
Personally I find it hard to submit because I was raised or rather “trained” to submit my future husband. I hated every bit of it because why am I taught at 15 to submit to my future husband while my brother doesn’t get trained to be a great leader for his future wife? Why is it that the submission narrative is pushed so much more than the leader narrative? Most men can go their whole lives without being told/taught how to be a great husband.
Thats where the problem is. We watched our mothers' hard earned money be squandered through poor financial habits amd decisions and we are expected to emulate submission???? How??
You did not lie!!!!!
Good point. As a man, I whole heartedly agree with you but fortunately your great mothers “trained” you to be amazing wives but us men had no leaders or father figures to “train” us to be great leaders.
And society continues to pay the price for that.
Absolutely.
We definitely have a lot to learn and unlearn❤
Cathartic:)
I'm a licensed couples therapist here in the US and I absolutely love how you guys navigate through tough conversations like these. I believe that you both are right. A wife's lack of trust (submission) is a reflection of her and should not be taken personally by her husband but because we are humans with emotions it is almost impossible for husbands to not be upset. Husbands have every right to navigate through their own upset about this with God, just as wives should navigate thier lack of trust with God. As mentioned, things become harmful when those upsets & doubts are thrown at eachother. I love you guys! Keep making content like this, it's so needed!
-Tonea Smith
Thank you for these insights Tonea! Much appreciated❤️
The most vulnerable & authentic married Christian couple on these youtube streets❤ We praise the Lord for using y'all to do His work.
Aaaw we thank God❤️❤️❤️. Thank you for riding with us❤️
Accurate
I always struggled with submission. After listening to Iyanla Vanzant in an interview recently and she mentioned how a lot of women are men in skirts. Basically, she was saying we show up with masculine energy. It was a light bulb moment for me. I grew up in a very patriarchal home, my father had the final say on everything. Viewing this as a child and how my mother seemed not to question, it created a belief in me that femininity was a weakness. For most of my childhood, I emulated my father more than my mother. My guard goes up whenever i feel like im being told and not asked.
What does submission look like for you now ?
Please can you update this. What does submission look like for you now
Submission becomes easy when u are receiving love
At 25-27 min my heart broke for Phethola. Although she attributed her mood to tiredness, I feel her struggles with trust have a deeper root that needs to be explored more. I think primarily, it could be that trust puts us as women in a vulnerable position. When people fail us , we develop defence mechanisms that keep us safe from disappointments, hurt and unmet needs. Those walls are particularly what we struggle with as women in marriage. Our primary need is safety so if we've been let down in the past, we unintentionally monitor, question, argue, pester, fight to avoid the feeling of being let down because it really hurts.
On the other hand, I think as you rightfully said, we all need to give each other grace in the area of submission and leadership. I feel Lerato has a strong need for trust. This affects him because it affects his confidence as a man. When Phethola says, "dont take it personally", I feel it dismisses his emotions and make him go into his shell which is painful.
I am so proud that you brought up this Convo guys, so many people struggle and never work through these issues.
As a Specialist Wellness Counsellor, I learnt a lot.
Hey Denzhe my husband said he knows you from SCF. Small world indeed
@@malerekomochekoane6444 Awww Yes.. I was a member of UCTSCF while I was a student. Small world indeed!. Please pass my greetings to him. What is his name?
@@denzhemabuli5449 Napo
❤❤❤❤
@@malerekomochekoane6444 oh my God. My brother in Christ.. wow! Small world indeed!🤗♥️
Mr Makhs was spitting! “Ladies pay attention to detail and that’s a superpower. Use it to help him & not fight him.” I can get behind that.
I feel like I agree with Mrs Makhs when she says "don't take it personally" and to me, I understood it as "you will feel some type of way about it, we can't control how we feel, but give me the grace to know that I am not doing this as a personal attack to you, don't take it personally"
You know what I appreciate about Mrs Makhs? That she can see when she’s wrong and takes ownership of it and vocalizes it to her husband, something that some wives (including myself) find really difficult to do. I’m inspired to start having these really vulnerable conversations that I’ve been shying away from for a long time.
We are learning and journeying❤
Ausi Phethola, please don't be cutting off Mr Makhs when he be complimenting you in the intro ❤😚
Hey sis. Noted. I’ve mentioned it in other installments that it makes me shy. I sometimes prefer the compliments in private and not so much on our public platform🫠
@@TheMakhs Oh, I didn't know. I now understand ❤️
Phetola, I love your authenticity. Keep it up sis. You are beautiful!❤❤❤
I remember reading this devotion that convicted me, at basically said God will bless you for your obedience as a wife. So when you submit to your hubby as unto God He will bless your obedience. So even your hubby's bad decisions the Lord will work it out together for your good simply because you were obedient to God's word. That really helped me see Submission differently
Powerful
This is so true. God honours obedience❤️
Thanks!
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
Cathartic 😂❤
I love the authenticity of this video.
Me at 19 and single ,out here taking notes.📝 😂
Me too taking notes as a single person
41:07 😅 I stand to be corrected, I think what Lerato is trying to preach is that wives should trust God and that wives submitting to their husbands should be as a result of their trust in and submission to God first, not as a result of wives trusting their husbands, but it doesn't take away from the fact that they'd want to be trusted by their wives and it really does hurt learning that they are falling short in some areas that they'd want to be good and fully trusted in. ❤❤❤ This episode has blessed my heart so much.
I cried a lot in the beginning of this video because I realised that I resonate a lot with Mrs Makh ,she 100% articulated the root causes of my current struggle (trust) I am experiencing in my relationship and I know for sure had I not listened to this video I was going to struggle even more to fully submit to my future husband .
I met my first boyfriend when I was 24 years and I think being independent for a very long time contributed a lot to this struggle and honestly I wasn’t aware of the harm it can cause to my partner but after listening to this video I had to do a lot of self introspection and ask God to help me. I will definitely share it with him so that he can also play his part😊
I love the fact that I didn’t only cry but also laughed through out the episode.
May God continue to bless your union fam❤🫶🏽 ,we are learning and growing 📍here 😇
Great mothers “train” daughters to be amazing wives but us men had no leaders or father figures to “train” us to be great leaders.
And society continues to pay the price for that. It’s hard for woman to trust us when we fighting a lot internal and external battles and straying away from Christ.
Mr Makh is a Teacher and also He has so much wisdom. He reminds me of my husband
💯💯💯❤️
Allow the man to have his feelings. He desires that you trust him and when that desire is not met (for whatever reason) it will disappoint him and hurt him. Allow him his experience. He understands where you’re coming from, but that understanding doesn’t change his emotional experience
I agree. This conversation was a bit unfair for me. I feel like Pheto was a bit unfair to Lerato. She attributed her inability to submit to Lerato's lack of leadership. She took responsibility, but not really. She passed it on to him. It was uncomfortable for me to watch.
This conversation shows that indeed there was "a fire conversation" had behind closed doors. It also got intense real quick at the beginning. I didn't know if I should keep my eyes on the screen or watch with my eyes low. lol. I loved it. I pray for you lovely beings that as you pour into us, God will pour into you massively. May the roots of this marriage grow deeper in love and with love. God is for you. Love yall
I have taught myself to trust God with submission, i trust God that my husband will lead me in truth. it's not easy, so I hear Mr Makhs
Mrs Makhs mara your honesty is giving. You guys are so mature love love. Other partners will be upset for days if their partners said " I'm not taking a bullet for no one
Thank you❤
That “GUYS LIKE THE VIDEO!!! LIKE THE VIDEO! LIKE THE VIDEO!” Yeeey it made me like it before even listening 😂😂 yoh uzosishaya uLerato at this point ! 😭😂 we love yall ❤️❤️❤️
I have to say this, this channel always brings me closer to God.. the world is so corrupted that sometimes we sway too far off the grid and not follow Him
Wow..same here😊
One thing about you guys? YOU ALWAYS DISH OUT VULNERABILITY AND ORIGINALITY, especially in serious matters like this one and that's honestly one of the reasons I keep on getting back to this channel. Also, this was very informative and thank you so much for giving me perspective. ❤️❤️❤️ Oh, and Cathartic. 😂✌🏼
❤❤❤❤
Cathartic 🌸
This was really good. I feel like we need a part 2 of this 🥺
From a woman’s perspective I think we as women find it hard to submit because we think that it’s letting a man control us and also most of us grew up in homes where we never saw what submission looked like, we actually saw the opposite, hence why we might fight it at first.
So when we get into relationships like marriage we unconsciously practice what we saw growing up.
I think we need more conversations like this and also from the women’s side to teach our new generation that there is power in submission, and you submitting as wife does mean you are weak at all, it’s the opposite
I agree.
I think I’ve said this plenty times but your ability to engage such conversations in a concise and empathic manner. In a way that young couples can relate. I mean I relate to both sides, the trusting of me as a helper but also the inability to fully trust my husband with leading, both have lead to breakdowns in our relationship. What a powerful sermon and I’m going to call it that because you were preaching.
Funny thing is I am not even in a relationship but here I am from beginning to end 😅 this was so powerful 👏 thank you guys♥️
#Carthetic🤣
Although I rarely comment, this was such a beautiful conversation. I love your way of disagreeing but still trying to understand one another. I'm 19 years old and I've learnt so much. Honestly submission used to seem like a weak part of myself but now I see it as my strength. Absolutely inspiring. I'm going to share this to my dad 🙂.
Love this! I agree with Lerato, submission should not have conditions. I really think it's about trust - across the board. I love that Stephanie Ike mentioned that if one isn't wholly submitted to God , it will be hard to submit to your husband... Submission should not be mistaken for weakness and being a doormat door though. and to the men, to lay your life down for your wife is also not conditional🙂
What a wholesome conversation❤
I love the submission definition. Also, I agree with Lerato that submitting isn't supposed to be conditional because it's a command from God. Same as "Do not murder" for instance. We are not supposed to rely on our feelings but the Holy spirit working in us to be obedient to God. It comes with humbleness also. When Jesus was about to be crucified, He asked God if there wasn't any other way to carry out God's plan, He however submitted to God's will above his own.
Stephanie Ike once mentioned that marriage is like an office in God, men as leaders are ought to create an environment where women can strive in their divine gift as wives of which submission is one of them.
God created marriage for a divine purpose, for His Kingdom. The enemy doesn't like that hence we have a woke culture that goes against everything the Bible says. Satan's plan is to discredit God that how he created things to be aren't how they are supposed to be.
When I often to trust God, I know my feelings are wrong because He's the all knowing God, I can't even trust myself. God knows best.
I love you also mentioned that we cannot do it without God. But truth is we are not without God, as born again Christians we have Christ living in us, and we have the mind of Christ.
You know, what you guys talk about here is quite something. We all need to have more of these talk as couples. My husband would normally credit and it would make me feel uncomfortable, cause in all honestly I give credit to God. So I always tell, it God, not me. I had to unlearn a lot of things regarding love, and showing that to my husband. So I simply would pray constantly for God to make me love my husband the way my husband need. And thats where it started.... because my kind of love may not be the kind of love my husband needs. Mind you, I love my husband very much! but the more I leaned on God for that, the more I saw positive growth and affirmation from my husband.
This was a good, thought-provoking conversation. I feel challenged to do better as a wife
🌼Cathartic🌼
Thank you so much. And for the Thank you gift❤😊
You guys are literally flashing God all around. I'm in awe of the transparency here. This conversation is an issue in the body of Chirst not only in marriage but in relationship with God nje. May God fully BLESS you guys for spreading Him around the way you just did. Beautiful!
If anything this conversation has done is to broaden my mind and sharpened my lens about marriage. May you continue to be so bold and real about real issues.
Submission becomes easy when the leadership has a clear vision and when the vision is painted boldly. I also think that as women we eventually submit to vision especially when the vision comes from God who gives it to the husbands.
I love it here! I struggle alot with commenting but I've made it a point to change my habits and be intentional like you guys are always intentional with delivering content that helps us!!! Forever grateful ❤
Thank you so much for changed habits 😅❤❤❤😅
Wow! Profound installment. This is why Marriage truly is the depiction of Christ's love for His bride( the church). So much sacrificing and crucifying of the flesh to do just as Christ has done for us. Im in waiting for my boaz and trust is definitely something i too struggle with. Been providing for myself for so long and doing things by myself. Only Gods devine intervention will transform my tainted heart and this was a good reminder to keep seeking Him concerning this topic. ❤
Carthatic 💖
What stood out for me is what Mrs Phetola was trying to emphasis that we have our seasons of finding it difficult to trust God (our heavenly father) which could ultimately make it difficult to trust mere man (and this can include our spouse, earthly parents etc.) and this is not intentional. What Mr Lerato is also trying to emphasis on is that when we do have seasons of mistrust like the Israelites did, it grieved God. So if this grieved God (heavenly father), how much more our spouses (earthly beings) - It is okay to take it personal.
Always so refreshing to learn from you BOTH ❤. Thank you for your vulnerability 😊. God bless you ALL.
Cathartic.
Being a young adult and gradually becoming the best that God wants me to be, I'm learning so much from this beautiful couple. Love and light. ❤️
I admire the level of maturity at which you both handled this conversation. At some point it got uncomfortable for sis Pheto and swayed a bit but you both brought it back with so much love and honesty. Indeed it is an uncomfortable subject especially for us wives and a requirement we often struggle with. But thank God for such platforms. We learning, unlearning and relearning. We shall come out the best versions of what God wants us to be - to submit as wives (Ephesians 5:22)…and yes, it was cathartic 😍🤩
I feel like you guys think you ramble and maybe other people think so but the time you take to talk about things, the way you talk about things, the depth at which you talk, the thought, the entire process of the conversation you share with us is so crucial. I say this because its a lesson to a lot of us. We are learning a higher level of maturity, in communication and in just loving one another in our marriages. Thank you for sharing your lives with us. This is a ministry in itself. God bless your marriage, may He continue to use you. Love you guys all the way from Botswana
This amount of vulnerability to help others is honorable and a raw conversation from the people of God is very important for couples of our times. Thank you guys for this powerful conversation. I've gained a lot. The Lord bless you 😊❤!
Cathartic, that was a very insightful conversation. I think submission and love should not be expectations that one holds for the other because you will be disappointed. Expect nothing, and you will receive everything!
Submission is a work of God and revelation.
Y'all are so real with us, we don't deserve this!!! This is completely insane! You people are a blessing to us as a generation.
I cannot wait to watch this channel with my husband one day!
I absolutely love how you are not afraid to have the difficult conversations. It is the reason I keep coming back and yearning for more. The honesty from both of you is refreshing.
Please keep these conversations coming.
Thanks for sharing this Nomsa.
Wow, was a real conversation, filled with trigger points indeed. As a young man, seeing my mom and dad still battle with this till today. Gives me a reality check and I realise that submission and leadership are hard and will never be perfect in our worldly point of view but their perfected by God as marriage is introduced and perfected to give Him glory.
Thank you for not compromising on the standards of God. I love the fact that this conversation was because the Holy Spirit revealed to Mr Makhs.
#Cathartic #leadership
Cathartic ❤
These are really good conversations. My mom introduced me to your channel when I was in grade 8 which is 2 years ago. I am now in grade 10 and I have grown to love you even. This installment was about submission but I learnt a lot from your words that I can apply in other areas of my life as a teenager in christ.. Mr Makhs said that "God's standard is against the flesh so much that it is nearly impossible to meet it without him".. That anchored my heart.. Mr Makhs said "Explanation isn't equals to Justification".. A lot of times when my mother reprimands me for doing something bad I think that just because I can explain why I did it, it means she must take my actions.. But now I understand responsibility from your words.. I love the fam❤.. You are making an impact more than you think you are... From a 15 year old.. I love you ❤
We got triggered & healed all in one video! Kuningi for us all, male & female but with such videos, we are encouraged to have conversations & be vulnerable. Siyabonga guys!
True🤞😅
I love your conversations❤from Kenya...
Such an honest discussion, however with this installment I felt like in most parts Mrs Makhs wasn't listening to Mr Makhs 100, she seemed ready to defend herself though she didn't need to because she did say she was hurt with what he said about this matter when they spoke prior to shooting. She wouldn't let him finish some of the points he was trying to make. Overall they do communicate well, Dr Phil would say you can't change what you can't acknowledge... love this channel ❤ growth definitely is uncomfortable.
🔥🔥🔥🔥☄️☄️☄️☄️☄️
I was either standing or at the edge of my seat. Thank you for this unfiltered conversation. The Holy Spirit did this!! May He keep on using you and increase your anointing🙌🏼🙌🏼 God will restore His order in our generation. Your honesty (testimony!) alone, has launched an attack in the enemies camp. Bless you💕😘
P.S I’m not even married yet but the Lord has revealed to me how the enemy is especially attacking marriages in this season. May He continues to sustain and protect your union♥️♥️♥️
#cathartic!!
Word🙏
Awesome podcast as always. We need to stop thinking submission=slavery/oppression.... I think that's why most times we women just at the mention of the word.
Learned alot today and this opened up my eyes 'wide'! Trust goes with submission ...powerful.. we must just trust God and just submit(no excuses, we should all play our rolls accordingly). Show grace always knowing that we also not perfect.
I am really blessed by this installment.
May God continue to grow you both in your marriage cause you doing great. I pray that you keep winning together as a family.
#cathartic
Love your love❤
Learned so much. If we can have this type of conversations with our partners without taking it personal, then it would take a different toll.
15:36 I think Phetola meant we can’t EXPECT perfection from each other because we’re only human
You know this conversation is so deep, I’m reminded of when I’m speaking to my partner as well about things of God, sometimes we find ourselves literally saying the same thing but keep going in circles in disagreement because one has not yet had the revelation, or giving every explanation you can give about a thing yet the person still doesn’t get it until “Will Smith” or “Stephanie Ike” says it one day and a they get a light bulb moment, that is when the revelation from the Holy Spirit comes upon the person.
Lerato is making a fair point about taking it personally when Petola doesn’t trust his leadership (as a servant of God, and a spiritual leader for his family) and Petola is also making a fair point of giving each other Grace when it comes to submission and headship. Therefore, Lerato shall give you Grace at times of lack of trust and Petola shall give Grace when your spirit is grieved by her lack of trust.
I also struggle with full submission to God or to my partner but it takes work , awareness and intention.
Cathartic
Thank you Mr and Mrs Makhs for allowing us to sit in during your 'therapy session'. I've garnered so much insight on communicating through uncomfortable topics in such a graceful and authentic way. Your channel has been an absolute blessing. Blessings and favour to you both 🧡
P. S. Y'all are also helping me expand my vocabulary big time 😄
Carthatic indeed!❤
A beautiful space of vulnerability that you guys provide in here....we love it !
Yeh submission is quite a topic!!! Not even from a place of 'being anti submission or being faminist in marriage" but from a point of Saying, Trusting (submitting)your man in arears where he has display some failures or have let you down,
And im not even talking about unfaithfulness noo, arear such as being in a position where he is unable to provide for the home and it is something that you feel could have been avoided,
So at that times as a wife you just dont know if ar thus time and going foward can i trust him to make right decision (i.e submitting to his leadership in this area )
To the point of Mrs Maks-which is a beautiful summery "If husband cant follow through it's hard to trust that they will follow through for us"
Okay, I'm glad I listened to this till the end , and I have come to amend my comment 😂
#The trusting God(i.e trusting the man ) finally made sense toward the end *Thank you so much this episode really have set me free
I really love how you guys have these difficult conversations to show us that it is possible to talk through it... We might not even agree with each other at the end of the day but the important thing is you can pick and understand where the other partner is or where they are coming from on that particular subject. Thank you so much the Makhs for being vulnerable and unpacking such a touchy subject...
Great conversation guys.I think we need to trust God in our husbands. Because if we trust God in them, we will be able wait (in faith)as long as it takes for our expectations to be met. We trust the Creator that he can put the desire in them to meet our expectations conveniently.
Eiiii this 😭🙌🏼 💯
Thank you so much for opening your hearts and home to us. I had different motions at different times, but it takes some wisdom and acknowledgment of the current state to post it. May God reach you where you are ❤.
I have been observing Mr Makhs when he struggles with somethings, he is not forceful but persuasive. His level of trusting God appears now and then. What do I mean he let God reveal things that are of concern to his wife. Mrs Makhs you’re blessed and a blessing in your home ❤❤
Not Mr Makhs makin Mrs Makhs blush with that CATHARTIC!! new subscriber alert!!! i felt bad coz i am one of those who has been watching UNSUBSCRIBED!!!!!!!for ages, eish mara askies. CATHARTIC, CATHARTIC, CATHARTIC...love BW
cathartic
I'm a newly wed and this episode hit hard! thank you for always being so real guys!
❤
Cathartic bazalwane 😂. I loved this conversation, especially because earlier this week I was watching the same chat Pastor Stephanie was having with Pastor Brenda. These conversations are needed, even though I'm not married it's so eye opening and valuable for the future. Thanks for being vulnerable enough to do this in a public space.
Carthatic.! What i have always admired about the Makhs is AUTHENTICITY! Raw and unfiltered conversations,my husband and i loved this and as is the norm whenever we listen to you guys we pause and reflect on our own marriage! You are the Esthers of this generation! Born for such a time as this! THIS INSTALMENT WAS MY FAVOURITE BY FAR! Love from Botswana.
Cathartic. Sila.
Thank you for these conversations. Very thought provoking!
Sila indeed! 😂❤❤
The number of times I've deliberately ignored this video because I wasn't ready to watch without being defensive... 🤣 I'm glad I watched it when I did. It was indeed CATHARTIC. 😆 I'm sending it to my husband so we can also have this discussion. Thank you, Makhs. You guys are phenomenal. ❤
Right😅
First of all, cathartic 😂 Second: I understand what Phetola is saying about “taking it personally” because I have felt the same in relationships. But where I think we need to grow is understanding that the knowledge of the “why” doesn’t absolve anyone from the experience or how something makes you feel. That’s why even when we have all the tools, we don’t always do what we know we’re supposed to.
I see great leadership in Lerato. Phetola you are a strong woman. It is within your reach to submit. I believe.
This authenticity is very inspiring.
Also, this podcast has made me realize that I'm not as ready to submit as I thought. 😂 Area of sanctification unlocked 😅
If all married couples could create such space to discuss issues affecting them there wouldn't be high divorce rates. Letato and Phetelo your vulnerability and nakedness wow amazing.
It's how y'all came from the point of disagreement and boom, you started complementing each other's points. Just here writing how these videos are therapy for you and Pheto says so. This surely was a tight one but you came out as a team, each one of you knowing your role to help the other better perform at theirs. Kudos to you 🎉 and yeah, Trust God.
Cathartic..sums it very well..thank you for a very honest conversation..shuu..I am 50 years old...and this has truly ministered to me. May the Lord continue to speak to you, through you, and indeed speak for you.
I must say I agree with Lerato’s perspective on the trust issue. If I say to someone “I don’t trust you” it IS personal, and it’s unrealistic for that person to not take that statement personally because I’ve essentially indicted them for not being trustworthy. Whether or not it’s part of the ebbs and flows of relationships, that kind of sentiment/accusation won’t land easy. If someone said to ME “I don’t trust you,” I’d take it personally-not to then go on the defensive, but to search my heart for why they have concluded I’m not trustworthy. Having our faults and failures called out hurts even if called out by someone we love. Grace is due on both ends. (Words in caps are for emphasis, not yelling.)
I came back to add, that I DO understand Phetola’s perspective as well. It hurts to discover I’ve grieved God and/or loved ones. (I often beat myself up about it.) God takes it personally when we don’t trust Him, but He also extends grace to help us renew our minds and cleanse our hearts to the point that we CAN trust Him. Without faith it’s impossible to please Him. His grace affords us the opportunity to grow in our faith so that we can please Him.
Cathartic 😂, "Stop it"! This was a great insert, I too felt convinced with my own marriage. Thanks Gang!
✨Cathartic ✨
You guys are too real for this chat. The vulnerability, I totally get when you say this was counseling for yourselves. Truly appreciate how you guys keep it 100 with us. ❤
I genuinely love the honesty and the vulnerability. It was such a touchy subject, but I love how you both handled the conversation. You guys are amazing and thank you for always keeping it real!
This just reminded me of my marriage I love how honest you both are.
I feel so much like Phetola, I believe submission is so going to be difficult already for me. Trust is something I really need to work on...
Wow this conversation is good. Lol I see a lot of myself in Mrs. Makhs. This has opened room for me to introspect and think hard on the type of man I want to marry. I think after this, when i get in a relationship with someone i will consider things like "Do i trust him", "do i trust his leadership" coz i see how trust is largely related to submission.
Mrs Makhs you just hit home when you talked about changing of the light bulb. Trust I think its broad but when a man does not do things like that or take out the trash at first one will be understanding and you start helping because his busy, then it ends up being your responsibility, then its taking the car to the car wash, & and &😒😒. It can build a resentment of some sort.
The light moment at 28mins sent me😭🤣🤣😂😂😂 Mr. Mahks said "bantu ba Modimo" it's rough out here 😭. Beautiful Pheto, as the Lord has convicted you concerning this subject along with it comes the grace to transition from what you thought, to God's ideal standard. I am praying for you, we can't wait to hear a testimony of how it's going sooner than we know. Xo❤
There is so much revelation coming this video. I personally struggle with submission because my mom taught me not to depend on anyone and also because I’ve realised that I don’t trust that God is abundant. But I feel like if one is self aware and is willing to work on surrendering to God then everything else ( submission in a romantic relationship) will fall into place.
E cathartic this thing 😂😂😂😂
This was needed, so much accountability, love and GRACE😅.
You sync so well together. 2 has really become 1. I love this
Lets be honest...It is hard for a strong and driven woman who naturally is a leader to submit to a man who has not proven to be a good leader...Guys some husbands have no vision and cant make decisions...now a wife must wait forever?
I therefore agree that women need to pray for help from God to learn to submit and also men need to seek wisdom from God to lead better and accept help from their wives (which may come thru criticism, questioning)
Lerato, your wife is driven and can get things done. When she questions you she is not being nonsubmissive but helping you to lead better😂
I loved it, cause I have the same issues and have learned a lot!❤
Cathartic🎉
Highly appreciate your heart to heart conversation. It's soo original and authentic. Keep up the good work saints
Ahh, I love your vulnerability you two. Thank you for another great conversation. 😍
Cathartic- really not an easy topic. Very layered. It took me two sitting to finish watching it. I had to pause along the way.
Yhooo this installment guys😓 Im seriously looking at my marriage
33:25 … naaah, consistency is not easy. I think this also needs grace…. it can take quiet a few attempts to get it right yet you’d still be on the right path of discovering yourself and your path. And it’s also important to get out there to try this and that or start such and such coz that’s the only way you’ll discover yr path… and not all of it will be what we initially wanted it to be
Present. Cathartic.
Could spend the whole day with the Makhs ❤❤
Can I just say, it's so easy to be submissive to a man who shows great leadership and trusts in God (both of these). Submission is inherent there. A woman won't even think about it. It just comes, nje.
Cathartic:).
What a word! What an installment!
1 year later and we are still so blessed.
I'm new to your channel and my heart is full.
We are grateful to you for allowing God to use you as vessels!
Peace and more blessings to your family.
1. Present.
2. Carthatic.
Thank you for your allowing God to minister to us with your openess and valnerability. May God bless your union and bring your closer to Him. Niyathandwa.
Cathartic!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂,
What an awesome and thought provoking conversation. That submission definition is the best i have heard as well because some of the ones society has taught are the reason we struggle with what really is innate in us as women. Loved every second, thank you for this one. ❤️
Cathartic ❤
This was a wholesome conversation. I agree that submission is possible if one is able to submit to God because personally I was happy to have only gotten married after I was fully surrendered to God. Because I know I would not have been able to fully submit to my husband.
16mins in an I can’t hold back!
1-I saw the title a few days back and started debating it before listening, I wanted to say a man that doesn’t love his wife right can’t expect thorough submission but was battling with using “love”. I’m thrilled to realise what I was actually looking for is “trust”
2-I beg to differ on Christ submission to God being like human wife husband submission. Remember we’re given a directive to submit, Christ was never given a directive because not only is He God in flesh, He is faultless and submitting to a faultless God. When the Word gives instruction it is because God knows are nature could and would sometimes lead us astray. BUT one huge thing we never mention is that this is mentioned in the context of marriage being the most sacred covenant after that of man and God, so this presupposes that the man has taken a wife in the Christlike way, where issues that bring out blatant insubordination would be almost unheard of because the man’s fear and reverence of God wouldn’t let Him abuse his power which leads me to
3-I think a man that verbalises “you must submit” or finds himself having to make that demand is either unevenly yoked or has already failed in his role as a leader, it could be through a number of things such as complacency and disrespect. Submission comes pretty easy to a secure woman, security is brought about by multiples of factors, feeling heard, protected, loved, given reason to take the man at his word. My view is that by nature women are wired to be cared for and one submits to the one that heads their life by caring(also B-road not just financial). A woman that can’t submit usually has a trauma informing that behaviour.
Shu,the honesty and love in this conversation is beautiful. You guys literally thrashed this thing out, in love, till you reached a common ground. I would like to add though that, "I want to do everything for a woman who can do anything for herself" is not biblical ❤
It distorts too many things.
Adam brought Eve into a garden. Boas brought Ruth into a field. Xerxes brought Esther into a whole kingdom. This statement creates,or rather, has the potential to perpetuate this unhealthy boss woman complex that a lot of women struggle with. And don't even know that they struggle with it. Which then also negatively effects our understanding of submission. Or the desire to submit to a man.
Like before watching that’s the golden rule. Live from jamaica 🇯🇲
Thank you for this healthy communication.
This conversation was great. Thank you for always being vulnerable on this platform, I can imagine it's not easy, but it brings forth a lot of practical insights to your viewers. Thank you for your obedience in serving the Lord in this way. La re hodisa guys, re a leboha.
PS: Love how the conversation came full circle at 45:54 😅🙏🏾❤
I love this topics, woman of today are doing more for them self, and sometimes the man they fail for lead and we are not perfect and this is right for our families. 😢😢 guys i love you so much.❤ i also struggling to submit may the Lord help me. Cathartic