So proud of you! As a daughter in law that was not very accepted, I completely understand how you feel. Everything is great when I’m helping them but once I say no or protect my wife from something, I’m automatically the bad guy
Your not the only one I think in any household they always see the wife taking they son away and it's fucking weird but damn he marrying to someone starting a family living his life they should be happy for it but nope half the time especially Asian households they have too much expectations and shit it's annoying don't worry you will be able to get through it your not alone fertility issues are real okay ppl need to appreciate women and men the same but if your in laws are not approving or liking it's okay f them just be happy and do you all the love to you and your little family 💜
I can't imagine hating the mother of my grandchildren 😢 For petty reasons. Stay strong for your daughter and husband sending love from South Africa Johannesburg.❤❤❤❤😅
usually a quiet viewer. just wanted to say that i love this kind of open and honest video, thank you for sharing. hopefully it feels like a weight lifted off you after ventilating these thoughts i think thats very important!! it's not fair that they can speak badly about you for no reason but you're expected to stay quiet and somehow be okay with this unacceptable behaviour. all the best, rooting for you always
Resonate with this. Thank you for sharing. I’m glad Leo has your back because that is very, very important. “I love my in-laws and I have loved them since the day I met them. I love everyone I meet until they prove to me that they are undeserving of my love.” Made me tear up.
It’s common amongst Filipino families to have a toxicity mindset if you do not “fit” into a certain standard. It’s much worse if you are living with the mother of your husband in a Filipino household. Crab mentality and guilt tripping are just to name a few. I was holding my breath the entire time and i’m relieved it has nothing to do with infidelity. Thank you for being transparent with us. Leo is such a champ for always having your back despite the situation. It’s hell having to carry the weight of parenthood let alone having to be both a mother and a father. Everything that matters is for Dove and your future children. Looking forward to more talks and vlogs ❤
I once dated someone who's mother was Philippino and I love love their food, their culture, their language but no matter what I did she hated me. I loved his father as he was the same ethnicity as me and we talked a lot, and it broke my heart that my boyfriend always fought with his mom to stay with me (she once kicked him out of the house because I was visiting since we were long distance). For years I thought it was me, but after hearing many stories of it happening I guess it's a common thing. 😢 I hope everything goes well with you and yours ❤
Oh so sorry Karen. I can see the pain in your eyes. It's still hurting, but i do support your decision. Always stand for yourself. No one has the right to disrespect you. Your MIL should be grateful for having a daughter in law who loves her son very much. ❤ wish you and your little family eternal happiness
omg its a tale as old as time, I went through something similar, my friend went through this exact thing (i.e. moving for the better of their family, and family did not approve), and a few other youtubers I watch recently opened up about similar issues. The blame always falls upon the daughter in law, its always the easiest route! It's never you personally- it would be anyone in your role, any DIL because DIL's are always the easiest target and the closest "outsider". I think what's most important is that your husband is always by your side. Everything you spoke about really hit home. Stay strong and respect/love yourself, thats how they'll see you truly are deserving and if they know whats best for the greater family, they'll see that and treat you better
I support you 100%!!!! As someone formerly married to someone that not only treated me like shit but also was terrorized by my former mother in law, I get it. That marriage was so bad that when I left, I had to ask the court to hide my information & I don't use social media under my legal name. I'm gonna sound horrible saying this, but when I found out my ex-mother in law died, I felt immense relief because she can't hurt me anymore or try to find me & my son. I don't know where my ex is almost a decade later but my now husband (the true love of my life) said he's ready for him if he ever decides to show back up. Never be scared or ashamed to speak your truth!! Your husband & daughter love you & that's all that matters. Hopeful your in laws change before it's too late. 💜💜💜💜
@@iamkareno Thank you so much. Therapy is a Godsend when I can afford it. My husband helps me too. I'm glad we as a society are now openly talking about things like this more. The Me Too movement blew the lid off of abuse & mistreatment everywhere.
Karen, I truly am sorry to hear that your in laws don’t respect or cherish you, even the fact that you love their son, and even gave them the honor of being grandparents, it’s truly disheartening to hear that you have been going through something like this. I can emphasize and sympathize with you, because growing up I had to watch my mother be around my fathers side of the family and they all hated her, and always found something to say to demean her or put her down, even though she is the type of person to give the clothes off her own body for someone. You are right when you say pick a partner that will cherish you and value and respect you. One of many reasons why I broke up with my ex is because his family didn’t accept me or my ethnic background, or care to get to know me, and that was a huge red flag.. I hope that you find peace with this ordeal, and if all fails bring peace and love back into your family/foundation which is Leo and Dove, put all your efforts and energy into that and don’t worry about the rest. 😊
@@TamagoBunny3807wow thank you for taking the time to write this and be so kind and understanding. thank you for your support and uplifting words 🥰 i am grateful for you and i will definitely take your advice and focus on Dove and Leo 💕
aw karen, you're gonna make me cry. I'm so sorry you're going through this. you're right, definitely don't feel bad about opening up about this. it's not fair for you to swallow this experience alone. I hope you know that we're all here for you if you need it. and it makes me really happy to know you're doing better and becoming more social in HK!! May everything start looking up for you from here💓
This sounds like such a difficult thing to be dealing with, as a fellow lover girl (and Libra) I really feel for you with wanting to fill the community you’ve created for yourself with love but realising not everyone wants you in their life the same way. I truly is such a deep hurt and I hope you heal well from it
You’re not alone girl! My mil hates my guts too. She was not nice to me in the beginning and hated that I moved out of state with my husband. My husband did the same as Leo and chose me. Mil and I are in okay terms now. Hang in there girl! You’re not alone! It does get better, eventually…😊❤ and if it doesn’t, then let them live in their hate filled lives. You don’t need their love or approval because your husband and daughter love you.
Girl! Sometimes it doesn't get better. If I could tell my mum's story. They even terrorized her after my dad's death! Their son's death didn't make them reflect and make amends. They continued!
Wow. To literally have to sit there wondering what you did to deserve this animosity, when you are the nicest, most caring and beautiful person their son could ever marry. There are so many families that would pray for a daughter in law like you. I'm so sorry for the pain you've had to cope with, silently, while showing up to be there for your husband AND taking care of Dove. You have grown your incredible family without their input or approval. Keep going and don't ever look back - we're all in your corner! ♥♥♥
As an East Asian myself this struggle is so real..I feel like the girls of the family always get the brunt of any hardship, always get the blame put on them, etc.. I’m sorry ur going through this girl ik how stressful it is😭
I am Filipino and unfortunately, a lot of Filipino old folks are toxic and are close minded. They probably had someone they wanted for him, that happens a lot and if it doesn’t go their way the will hate you forever.
Im not sure how strong this is in chinese culture but i know some east asian cultures have an issue with the mother getting over attached to their sons due to the husband not being emotionally available, and resent the daughter in law for taking them away
it’s also very common in latin american families. idk the reason in asia, but here in latin america it’s some kind of emotional inc3st: mother (too much) “in love” with her son because she gave to him the role of “the man of my life” due to phisycal and/or emotional absence or abandonment of her husband / male partner.
Karen! I’m so sorry you’re going through this 😔 I can relate as a Filipino. My parents also disliked my husband because he didn’t have a degree and was freelancing (ie not a stable job) it took so, so long for them to come around, even years after our marriage. Something that helped me so much was reminding myself that my husband and I are starting a new family and we can run it how we like, and choose not to do what our families did. A partner who matches you is more important than in-laws who do so don’t regret anything! You and Leo seem like such a great team. Sending you so much love 🥺
I always think to myself one day when I have a son and he’s grown and married, I’m gonna make sure I’m the most supportive and loving MIL to his wife…… it’s hard to feel unwelcomed by your marital family. ❤ it’s okay luv. At least you have a hubby that defends you
i think the same thing to myself these days too.. if i had a son, i would be sure to show love and support as well. and to whomever Dove chooses too! all my love to you and your family!
So sorry to hear about this experience Karen ❤ My story is definitely not on the same scale, but my ex-boyfriend’s mom really did not like me. She never tried to talk with me and I knew she always preferred his ex-girlfriend before me. I brought it up to him saying I felt really unwelcomed by her and he said “Oh, you should just try to talk with her.” In my opinion, if I’m coming into your home and trying my best to be friendly and it’s not reciprocated back, it’s not an issue of me just need to “talk to her.” She should be welcoming and excited to meet someone in her son’s life. And my ex didn’t really help the situation but not talking to his parents about it either and just shrugging it off. I’m glad Leo is standing up for you, and I hope as time passes your MIL will realize that you are permanently family and she will have to come to terms with it. Especially if she wants to continue to have a relationship with her son & granddaughter.
Sorry you had to go through that! I'm very fortunate to have an amazing mother in law, but I see it happening currently with my own mother and my brother's partner. The hate for no apparent reason has just been so frustrating and toxic, especially if you haven't really done anything major or if things doesn't work out the way they want. It pains me because they're treating SOMEONE ELSE'S daughter like this, but could they image if their own daughter gets treated badly by their in laws? I'd be pissed if my own daughter is mistreated!
Wish we could all come together for a big hug. It’s really so tough to change the mindsets of the older generation because they’re stubborn in their ways and takes a lot to be receptive and accepting. You deserve all the love Karen ❤️
You are right, you have the right to share your story. I’ve gone through a similar situation with my mother in law. My husband didn’t defend me much. What saved us was moving far away. I’m sorry you’re treated that way. These women are jealous that they don’t have an all out control on their sons anymore. They feel treated that they are not their sons #1. Stay strong, cry it out but don’t give up. Overtime husbands have to also learn and admit that their mommies acting like that are toxic and have no right to behave like that. They do have to choose. The choice is obvious, the spouse. May God be with you and give you comfort through these trying situations.❤
I'm so grateful I found this video... I'm currently going through a similar situation and it's really hard, I'm in the process of letting go. Glad I'm not alone in this fight.
I can relate somewhat, only that the ones who rejected our relationship are from my side of the family. It's hard to this day that they might never accept him without attempting to know who he is to me.
I’m sorry it’s been so hard for you and your family 💜 I hope and pray things will continue to get better (speak it into existence!) Sending love and a virtual hug 🫂 🤗
Thank you for sharing with us your struggles. Families are very complicated and even though we make decisions for the best of the family, not everyone will agree. I think parents get so used to having their kids around for so long that they forget once the kids grow up and form their own family (have kids, get married) that they have to let them go and let them live their lives. And it comes off as selfish of them to think about what they want and not what is best for your new daughter. And very unfair to blame it on you. I know family is super important but creating these divisions makes it harder for everyone. You’re so strong and I am so glad Leo’s got your back.
Aww honey I wish I could hug you. I’m so sorry, there is so much grief involved with these situations… I don’t have anything to say that’s going to make it better but for what it’s worth you seem like a lovely person and you absolutely do deserve to be cherished. At minimum, you deserve respect and kindness. Sending you all the love 🫶🏻
As being a mother of a son who is just 9 years old 😅 I am like your mother-in-law is doing wrong for herself too because of her ego and hatred nature she is almost losing up on her son she should keep harmony in family to keep her son closer to her and also for sake of her son’s and his wife’s good mental health.
aww man that’s so horrible what you went through 😢😢😢. people see what they choose to see, never the truth! that part about being loving others until they prove otherwise part hit me like 😢 sending all the positivity over ❤❤❤
I am sorry to hear that, and I totally understand how you feel, because I have in laws like that. I understand the struggle and the pain, after 10 year me working towards to getting our relationship at better place. I CHOOSE ME! They pushed my button to bring my 6 year in to the battle, and telling the kids how bad I am as a mother. I was DONE at the moment, I did everything I can for them for past 10 years, host every birth party, holidays, and running their errands, their family and friends errands. I finally understand the WHY, they never accept you as family, and they never will. My husband is a wonderful man, he protects me from his toxic family. Now I am completely out off that rabbit whole. I value myself and focus more the people really love me as me. I am so happy you could find out this early then I did. I trust you will be much more success without them.
Thank you for sharing! Been missing your youtube videos. Feels like a big sis coming back! I'm sorry for what you've been through. And I'm glad you're doing better now! Hope everything will be much easier from now on.
Thank you so much for your support! 🥰i miss vlogging and sharing. feels weird not being open with you guys and now that i am, i feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders
I think that as long as Leo was okay with you sharing your feelings you should do it, and sharing it on your page only means that you trust the community (us) that you’ve built to to have your heart on your sleeve and not be judged. Sending lots of love and support ❤
being a daughter in law in an asian family means you will be the lowest rank at his family… god bless you and i feel for you as another “not good enough” daughter in law in an asian family
unfortunately I fully understand what you’re dealing with because, my in laws are the same, and it’s because we moved too. it’s such an awful feeling, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this ❤
I totally feel you. I am married to an HK local and my MIL is literally from hell. She expects me to support her son(and her) financially and also at the same time disrespecting me.
I think it’s awesome that you’re talking about this online. Sure not everyone’s gonna be happy about it, but keeping these kinds of stories silent will only allow people who have disrespected you (and others who may have similar situations) to continue doing so. Thanks for sharing.
I met you at Creamfields briefly and from my encounter, you seem like such a wonderful and such a genuine soul! You are loved - hope you feel so much better soon 💙💛💙
Coming from an Asian family, I totally get the mentality of keeping “family scandals in house and away from the public”. It’s been drilled into us to always keep up a facade of a perfect family no matter how bad it was. Thank you for sharing your story in the mist of feeling such vulnerability and showing the world we’re allowed to feel wronged regardless of being “family” or not. ❤
Good job for finally speaking up! I too just recently cut ties with a family member who bully me and emotional threaten me everytime things doesnt goes his way. For many decades, i can finally be true to myself n tell others i’m not on talking terms with him. Dont have to pretend anymore!!! 🥳
So sorry you’re experiencing this Karen ❤ I understand it when family members have conditional love for you, whether you have a certain job or lifestyle that they only accept under their terms. It’s great to have those around who truly support you. Thank you for sharing
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful and honest video. Regarding to your advice for your younger self… it’s so true that you marry into family. But! I think what’s most important is you have a partner who’s willing to defend and stand up for you no matter what. Thank goodness your husband does 🥰 Your video resonates with me because I’m in the same boat and will probably be the rest of my life. I’m the hugging type of person and my MIL won’t even hug me. I’ve been with my husband for 13 years now.
i’m glad that leo has your back 💖 when you become a husband and a father, your wife and kids are YOUR family. they should be the most important thing to you. i’m sorry that your MIL holds such contempt for you, just know that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her.
Love you!!! Been a viewer for years and you always show good vibes and seem so genuinely nice and sweet! ❤ Its sad that someone can be mean or hurtful just because there older or stuck in their ways it’s no excuse, and even when u sent Leo straight away just shows how much family meant to you even when it wasn’t your own. I hope u keep ur peace & stay in Hong Kong building ur village & don’t feel pressured to move back & continue living ur best life. Sometimes u just have to let the leaves fall where they fall, I’m happy your back & these vlogs show u glowing!🎉❤
some parent think that their kids have to stay close to them when they are adults. That’s not how it works! Also, how can a person do that to you to their kids? So mean and selfish 😢
Uff😳, yeah that's a tough one because now you're stuck in whatever dynamic that is forever. It's so important that women quadruple make sure that they're marrying into a supportive family, or at the very least know what they're getting into from the start. Otherwise, the most likely end up depressed and isolated. It also sounds like your husband probably didn't have the strict boundaries that he should have had with them before ever dating you or anyone else. I had to do the same thing with my family before even thinking about dating anyone, I had to work on those boundaries with my family and make them a lot stricter. Because I knew that it wouldn't make sense to find someone that I want to be with and bring them into the drama and the chaos that could be caused by them. So I had to do the work beforehand, to separate myself as much as needed, to solidify those boundaries and speak up continuously, just put all these things in place before anyone even comes in to my life. I agree with you, I'm glad you spoke your mind and made the video and have this outlet❤
i was in a situation like that with an ex where his parents had blamed me for him failing class, or basically any inconvenience towards them in which they thought i am the root of their son's problems etc...when it was them who drove him into a career he was not interested in...either way, he did not advocate and stand up for me towards his parents which is a big reason why the relationship did not work out. of course culturally there were other nuances where "the son can do no wrong" i hope that you will resolve this and find peace.
I hope you and your family can heal from this situation. I’ve seen too many stories of toxic in laws and it sounds like you haven’t done anything to warrant the hate! I’m just curious though, won’t they hear about this video? How does Leo feel about it?
Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable moment with us. It is always hard when it comes to family conflict but you did do what's best and what's best for you Leo and your daughter. I'm also a Libra and have huge empathy for people and it hurts when they don't treat you equally or as a person they love and care for as a family.
my mother-in-law also hated on me till she realised we were really going to get engaged. she has calmed a lot more, though i'd definitely still not be her #1 choice, probably more like her 100th haha. i'm glad she tried to change though. i'm sorry your in-laws just hate for no reason. it's really immature and often older adults in their generation just don't want to sit back and admit they're wrong. as long as Leo continues to support you, it's one of those things that isn't on you to change. hopefully, their eyes are opened one day to their baseless actions. sending love!
Thank you for sharing! I found this so relatable and i was definitely tearing up during certain parts with you. Similar scenario happened with me except it wasnt with my in laws it was with my fiancé’s closest group of friends. Long story short - after all the things they said about me, my fiancé and I are celebrating 5 years together & counting. We’re getting married next year. I still see them from time to time and they still have not apologized for what they said but I find comfort in knowing that he defended me & that our relationship is still going strong. 🙂
My best friend sent me your video as I was just venting to her about my partner’s mom too. I am visiting them next weekend and have been an extreme ball of anxiousness. Last visit almost ended up in us separating but hopefully next week will be better. It hurts a lot and it’s so nice to see that you and Leo choose each other and the support plus love you both have for each other is so strong. Thanks for sharing your story.
I'm really grateful for my mother-in-law because I am no contact with my own mother who is a covert narcissist. It's hard but sometimes we have to be grateful for what we do have when the things that should be positive or not. I feel for you! I can never have the relationship I want with my mother but my mother in law has changed my life.
I have the same exact story. I cut contact with my covert narc mother and while it took my mother in law some time to understand why, I'm very thankful to have her in my life. The little things my mother in law does for me are very meaningful because my own mother never was thoughtful enough to do them. Life blesses us in different ways!
Oh my god. So sorry about your experience with them 😟 They should be happy that you have a job you can do from home and which you like. Doesn't it make their son's life better too.
I feel you. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. My boyfriend’s mother doesn’t like me either for superficial reason. Unfortunate but I don’t mind it as long as she’s good to my future children. I just told me boyfriend that it’s something he has to accept because it’s harder for her to change…
Thank you for always being so open and transparent, these types of topics are always difficult to talk about and despite people not wanting the information to be public I think it will be important in your healing journey and can help others to know they aren't alone going through something like this. We support and love you Karen ❤
Quiet viewer here I relate because my ex is Filipino (plus a mommas boy) and even though I was invited to his family parties I was not liked by his family because I wasn’t a Filipino nurse. I even deal with this issue with my whole family as well because they are also ALL nurses. Thanks for sharing this I’m glad Leo fought for you my ex didn’t fight for me he actually broke up with me after 5 years and chose his mom’s side and now he’s with a girl that is a nurse so it just shows the type of person he was in the end
I can understand what you went / are going through, i had similar experiences and it totally DRAINS the heck out of oneself. It takes so much of us, but please please remember to love and put yourself first. There is no one else that can love and protect you as much as you can do it for yourself. If we walk into the world with the most genuine intentions, we definitely deserve the best without a single doubt. I hope Leo will always choose, love and protect you as one should do. I wish you both the biggest strengths and hope you guys will be in a better place/state of mind. Much love!!❤
Thank you for sharing your vulnerable experiences, Karen. Coming from a background where I also didn’t feel the closest with my biological mother, I expected to have a stronger bond with my MIL. You’re not alone, Karen! You go this! ❤
Honestly a lot of people don’t need a reason to not like you (they could even hate you because you have a bubbly personality and hate that for you) or their reason could be because they themselves are miserable and are projecting so it has nothing to do with you but more so with them. You have a pure heart and soul and it’s sad that they are like that. Leo is a grown man and has his own family now and yes it’s good to always take care of the family that raised you but at what cost? Them blaming you is unfair. Continue to be kind but keep your distance! I love you and you are doing amazing sweetheart 🫶🏽
I share a lot of similarities with my mother-in-law, sometimes I think she knows me better than my own mom. We meet once a year since we live in different countries. It's a wise choice to stay away from them, and I am glad your hubby is on your side.❤❤
Sending you all my love 😭. I’m not married but my older sisters are and their MIL is the same way. Wishing you smooth sailings from here on out. Praying that you don’t forget your worth just because they don’t like you. ❤❤❤❤
It’s a good thing to let your feelings out and be known. I hope you feel uplifted and things get better! Most importantly, I’m glad Leo always had your back! Some families can be toxic! Not understanding at all! Its okay to stop seeking validation from them and focus on the family you’ve created. Knowing that you guys tried matters.
Thank you so much for sharing all of that, I can all see how hard it must have been and how much courage it took to finally share it, and in as objective a way as possible too. It must have been such a shock & a thorn in your heart when you realized what they really thought of you. You are such a caring and family-oriented person, so ultimately, it is their loss to miss out on having a close familial relationship with you!
I have been with my husband for the last 18 years. We are married with 2 kids, and my relationship with my in laws are exactly like yours. It’s hard. But for my own sanity and peace, i decided to set boundaries and remove myself from the toxicity. Unfortunately for me, i know things will never get better and you can’t change people who do not want to change. I hope you find your peace.
had the same problem with my MIL who hates me for no justifiable reason. my experience is so much worse than yours actually, that my husband decided to go no contact because it was that toxic. i feel bad he did that but we both needed our peace of mind back. healing takes time. try to forgive even though they don't deserve it. move on and move forward. you deserve to be happy too
Sending all the love and thank you for sharing. My in laws used to dislike me but thank goodness we have a good relationship now but it took years. I remember just how stressful and heartbreaking it was. I am so sorry you are going through all this.
I’m in the same boat as you… in laws, relocation, being blamed for everything. We just have to focus on ourselves and as long as we know we didn’t do anything wrong, we can focus on our own peace. Of course easier said than done when there’s grandchildren and grandparents involved. But we gotta try, or else we’ll just never function. ❤
Thanks for posting this and I’m sorry you’ve been going through this for so long. ❤ I related to this so hard because I married an Albanian Muslim who’ve I’ve known for basically my whole life and we even lived don’t the block from each other when we were younger for like a decade. His family (including his sisters who I was friends wish) shunned me and bullied me into depression. They would act like they “accepted me” in front of him at times and when he would leave the house they would treat me like I wasn’t a human- like I wasn’t someone daughter, sister, friend. My husband chose me and we struggled on our own for 3 years and he didn’t have contact with his family during that time. They’ve since come around and we’ve been together for almost 8 years now but I am still to this day uncomfortable being with them and never feel like I can be myself and or open. They can forget what they did and I can forgive them but I don’t think I’ll ever forget how they treated me for “stealing their son/brother from them” (which I never did and had no intention of doing)
Karen, I am so sorry to hear you had to deal with that and are probably still dealing with it. It’s such a strange situation to be in with your in laws especially when you are part of their family. I went through this and am still going through this. You literally said everything that I have always wanted to say to someone. Hearing you speak of your struggle, definitely resonated with me. I blamed myself so much bc everyone in my boyfriend’s family seemed to hate me but they couldn’t explain why they hated me. Since I started choosing me, I realized that it wasn’t me that was the issue. It was my partner’s family. They were constantly guilt tripping him for choosing me and for being on my side when no one else was. Although I had lost the closeness that I once had with his family, my partner and I, our bond grew stronger. I didn’t want him to choose me over his family or his family over me. I wanted his family to stop seeing me as the bad person for everything. It’s still so hard to this day. I hope that one day, people can question themselves and really ask if it was worth all of the hating. Stay strong! I’m wishing the best for you!
I really admire you for touching on this topic, thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us. Most TH-camrs only show the positive aspects of their relationship and while I understand why they choose to do that, it doesn't show a realistic portrayal of marriage. I appreciate you for sharing what you're going through because even though it's something that's common in Asian family dynamics, not enough people are talking about it. Asian culture places such a huge emphasis on collectivism and as women marrying into the family, we're expected to conform and change to meet other people's expectations. I'm proud of you for staying true to yourself and your values despite being in a tough situation. No matter what happens, you can look back and tell yourself you did everything you could to make things better. Whenever they treat you negatively or make you feel unwelcome, just know that it's not your fault. Even if you did change for them (by getting a "traditional" job), they would find something else to critique you on. Their words/actions are a mirror of themselves and not of you! Know that your community has your back and you are not alone in your struggles.
thank you for sharing. you’re right that in asian cultures, women are generally encouraged to stay quiet and maintain the peace to portray a harmonious picture perfect family. it’s been encouraging to see so many comments that are speaking up and sharing their experiences and sending positive thoughts to me. i really appreciate your comment 🥰💕
Currently in this phase in my life after being with my husband for 11 years already. Still trying my best to stay afloat. I’m finally starting to choose myself and stay firm to my boundaries. I know you might not remember me, but I remember meeting you at Kevin Pho Noodle house in Daly City. You and Leo were the sweetest people I met. ❤
I'm glad that you chose you. ❤ im also glad leo chooses you, the bible says, "therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh"
Yes! You deserve to be loved! I understand there are cultural aspects to this situation...however, the most important aspect is the human aspect! Your in laws or whomever may be behaving this way towards you are selfish. They do not seem to realize or perhaps care that in treating you this way they are affecting not only you but your daughter & husband in a very negative way! Yes, family can be everything - but Not when they are causing pain, discomfort & being disrespectful! I don't know your story - but just hearing what you have shared here tells me that it is no coincidence that the universe made it so that you are living far from this toxic situation! I realize you still have to deal w/it bcse these people are your husband's family - but at the end of the day you have to create boundaries to protect yourself - even it it is protecting yourself from family! I hope you are able to find peace in doing whatever is necessary for your self respect!! 🌷
Well done for opening up and sharing the reasons for you silence. I'm glad you're putting yourself first. Bottom line is, Leo is your husband and you and him have your own lives. Without disrespecting your inlaws, you did nothing wrong. I know what it's like to forever feel like having to impress your inlaws and knowing deep down inside they'll never accept us. But screw that. We're married, we have a family. We don't need to kiss their a** anymore, whatever issues they have. That's their problem. You live and enjoy your life the way you want you and your family to live it. It's up to them if they want to join in or not. Period. Sending lots of love ❤🇬🇧
This is so heartbreaking 😢 fortunately, I’m not in this position, but my grandma has been in this situation with her sister in law. Till this day, they both still hold resentment after 50 something years in marriage. And nobody still don’t know why my great aunt don’t like my grandma.
So proud of you! As a daughter in law that was not very accepted, I completely understand how you feel. Everything is great when I’m helping them but once I say no or protect my wife from something, I’m automatically the bad guy
thank you for your support 💕i don’t wish this on anyone
Your not the only one I think in any household they always see the wife taking they son away and it's fucking weird but damn he marrying to someone starting a family living his life they should be happy for it but nope half the time especially Asian households they have too much expectations and shit it's annoying don't worry you will be able to get through it your not alone fertility issues are real okay ppl need to appreciate women and men the same but if your in laws are not approving or liking it's okay f them just be happy and do you all the love to you and your little family 💜
I can't imagine hating the mother of my grandchildren 😢
For petty reasons.
Stay strong for your daughter and husband sending love from South Africa Johannesburg.❤❤❤❤😅
i really cant understand 😢
Some mothers even hate their own daughters as sad and evil as it is
Don't protect someone who wishes you harm. I'm so happy you choose you. I choose you too 🥰❤️
🥰 thank you for your support
usually a quiet viewer. just wanted to say that i love this kind of open and honest video, thank you for sharing. hopefully it feels like a weight lifted off you after ventilating these thoughts i think thats very important!! it's not fair that they can speak badly about you for no reason but you're expected to stay quiet and somehow be okay with this unacceptable behaviour. all the best, rooting for you always
Thank you for your kind words 💕
Resonate with this. Thank you for sharing. I’m glad Leo has your back because that is very, very important. “I love my in-laws and I have loved them since the day I met them. I love everyone I meet until they prove to me that they are undeserving of my love.” Made me tear up.
It’s common amongst Filipino families to have a toxicity mindset if you do not “fit” into a certain standard. It’s much worse if you are living with the mother of your husband in a Filipino household. Crab mentality and guilt tripping are just to name a few. I was holding my breath the entire time and i’m relieved it has nothing to do with infidelity. Thank you for being transparent with us. Leo is such a champ for always having your back despite the situation. It’s hell having to carry the weight of parenthood let alone having to be both a mother and a father. Everything that matters is for Dove and your future children. Looking forward to more talks and vlogs ❤
🤍🤍 thanks for your thoughts on this. love you!
My Filipino family’s mindset is so toxic :/
@@Sailormoon1122 same here. from both sides huhuhu. stay strong sis
I once dated someone who's mother was Philippino and I love love their food, their culture, their language but no matter what I did she hated me. I loved his father as he was the same ethnicity as me and we talked a lot, and it broke my heart that my boyfriend always fought with his mom to stay with me (she once kicked him out of the house because I was visiting since we were long distance). For years I thought it was me, but after hearing many stories of it happening I guess it's a common thing. 😢 I hope everything goes well with you and yours ❤
@@ainess92 on behalf of the Filipino community, i apologize 😭 even our own people gets treated this way.
Oh so sorry Karen. I can see the pain in your eyes. It's still hurting, but i do support your decision. Always stand for yourself. No one has the right to disrespect you. Your MIL should be grateful for having a daughter in law who loves her son very much. ❤ wish you and your little family eternal happiness
omg its a tale as old as time, I went through something similar, my friend went through this exact thing (i.e. moving for the better of their family, and family did not approve), and a few other youtubers I watch recently opened up about similar issues. The blame always falls upon the daughter in law, its always the easiest route! It's never you personally- it would be anyone in your role, any DIL because DIL's are always the easiest target and the closest "outsider". I think what's most important is that your husband is always by your side. Everything you spoke about really hit home. Stay strong and respect/love yourself, thats how they'll see you truly are deserving and if they know whats best for the greater family, they'll see that and treat you better
I support you 100%!!!! As someone formerly married to someone that not only treated me like shit but also was terrorized by my former mother in law, I get it. That marriage was so bad that when I left, I had to ask the court to hide my information & I don't use social media under my legal name.
I'm gonna sound horrible saying this, but when I found out my ex-mother in law died, I felt immense relief because she can't hurt me anymore or try to find me & my son. I don't know where my ex is almost a decade later but my now husband (the true love of my life) said he's ready for him if he ever decides to show back up.
Never be scared or ashamed to speak your truth!! Your husband & daughter love you & that's all that matters. Hopeful your in laws change before it's too late. 💜💜💜💜
i’m so sorry you went thru this experience… this is so traumatic and i hope you have healing from this 🤍🤍
@@iamkareno Thank you so much. Therapy is a Godsend when I can afford it. My husband helps me too. I'm glad we as a society are now openly talking about things like this more. The Me Too movement blew the lid off of abuse & mistreatment everywhere.
Karen, I truly am sorry to hear that your in laws don’t respect or cherish you, even the fact that you love their son, and even gave them the honor of being grandparents, it’s truly disheartening to hear that you have been going through something like this. I can emphasize and sympathize with you, because growing up I had to watch my mother be around my fathers side of the family and they all hated her, and always found something to say to demean her or put her down, even though she is the type of person to give the clothes off her own body for someone. You are right when you say pick a partner that will cherish you and value and respect you. One of many reasons why I broke up with my ex is because his family didn’t accept me or my ethnic background, or care to get to know me, and that was a huge red flag.. I hope that you find peace with this ordeal, and if all fails bring peace and love back into your family/foundation which is Leo and Dove, put all your efforts and energy into that and don’t worry about the rest. 😊
@@TamagoBunny3807wow thank you for taking the time to write this and be so kind and understanding. thank you for your support and uplifting words 🥰 i am grateful for you and i will definitely take your advice and focus on Dove and Leo 💕
aw karen, you're gonna make me cry. I'm so sorry you're going through this. you're right, definitely don't feel bad about opening up about this. it's not fair for you to swallow this experience alone. I hope you know that we're all here for you if you need it. and it makes me really happy to know you're doing better and becoming more social in HK!! May everything start looking up for you from here💓
This sounds like such a difficult thing to be dealing with, as a fellow lover girl (and Libra) I really feel for you with wanting to fill the community you’ve created for yourself with love but realising not everyone wants you in their life the same way. I truly is such a deep hurt and I hope you heal well from it
🥹 thank you for saying this
You’re not alone girl! My mil hates my guts too. She was not nice to me in the beginning and hated that I moved out of state with my husband. My husband did the same as Leo and chose me. Mil and I are in okay terms now. Hang in there girl! You’re not alone! It does get better, eventually…😊❤ and if it doesn’t, then let them live in their hate filled lives. You don’t need their love or approval because your husband and daughter love you.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I’m so glad you and your husband found peace. ❤️
@@iamkareno sending lots of love from the other side of the world ❤️
Girl! Sometimes it doesn't get better. If I could tell my mum's story. They even terrorized her after my dad's death! Their son's death didn't make them reflect and make amends. They continued!
Wow. To literally have to sit there wondering what you did to deserve this animosity, when you are the nicest, most caring and beautiful person their son could ever marry. There are so many families that would pray for a daughter in law like you. I'm so sorry for the pain you've had to cope with, silently, while showing up to be there for your husband AND taking care of Dove. You have grown your incredible family without their input or approval. Keep going and don't ever look back - we're all in your corner! ♥♥♥
thank you so much for your kind words 💕 you’ve really spoke love and life into me 🥹
I’m sorry you went through such a difficult situation/time. It’s hard to be in such a situation and I don’t wish it upon anyone.
same i don’t wish this upon anyone
As an East Asian myself this struggle is so real..I feel like the girls of the family always get the brunt of any hardship, always get the blame put on them, etc.. I’m sorry ur going through this girl ik how stressful it is😭
I am Filipino and unfortunately, a lot of Filipino old folks are toxic and are close minded. They probably had someone they wanted for him, that happens a lot and if it doesn’t go their way the will hate you forever.
Im not sure how strong this is in chinese culture but i know some east asian cultures have an issue with the mother getting over attached to their sons due to the husband not being emotionally available, and resent the daughter in law for taking them away
I've seen this tons in Korean and Chinese culture, and other south Asian cultures too. Emotional incest is terrifying
Her mother in law is Filipino
it’s also very common in latin american families. idk the reason in asia, but here in latin america it’s some kind of emotional inc3st: mother (too much) “in love” with her son because she gave to him the role of “the man of my life” due to phisycal and/or emotional absence or abandonment of her husband / male partner.
Karen! I’m so sorry you’re going through this 😔 I can relate as a Filipino. My parents also disliked my husband because he didn’t have a degree and was freelancing (ie not a stable job) it took so, so long for them to come around, even years after our marriage. Something that helped me so much was reminding myself that my husband and I are starting a new family and we can run it how we like, and choose not to do what our families did. A partner who matches you is more important than in-laws who do so don’t regret anything! You and Leo seem like such a great team. Sending you so much love 🥺
I always think to myself one day when I have a son and he’s grown and married, I’m gonna make sure I’m the most supportive and loving MIL to his wife…… it’s hard to feel unwelcomed by your marital family. ❤ it’s okay luv. At least you have a hubby that defends you
i think the same thing to myself these days too.. if i had a son, i would be sure to show love and support as well. and to whomever Dove chooses too! all my love to you and your family!
So sorry to hear about this experience Karen ❤ My story is definitely not on the same scale, but my ex-boyfriend’s mom really did not like me. She never tried to talk with me and I knew she always preferred his ex-girlfriend before me. I brought it up to him saying I felt really unwelcomed by her and he said “Oh, you should just try to talk with her.” In my opinion, if I’m coming into your home and trying my best to be friendly and it’s not reciprocated back, it’s not an issue of me just need to “talk to her.” She should be welcoming and excited to meet someone in her son’s life. And my ex didn’t really help the situation but not talking to his parents about it either and just shrugging it off.
I’m glad Leo is standing up for you, and I hope as time passes your MIL will realize that you are permanently family and she will have to come to terms with it. Especially if she wants to continue to have a relationship with her son & granddaughter.
thanks for sharing your story with me! i hope the tides change for us 💕
Sorry you had to go through that! I'm very fortunate to have an amazing mother in law, but I see it happening currently with my own mother and my brother's partner. The hate for no apparent reason has just been so frustrating and toxic, especially if you haven't really done anything major or if things doesn't work out the way they want. It pains me because they're treating SOMEONE ELSE'S daughter like this, but could they image if their own daughter gets treated badly by their in laws? I'd be pissed if my own daughter is mistreated!
Wish we could all come together for a big hug. It’s really so tough to change the mindsets of the older generation because they’re stubborn in their ways and takes a lot to be receptive and accepting. You deserve all the love Karen ❤️
Thank you so much for your kind words and support 💕
You are right, you have the right to share your story. I’ve gone through a similar situation with my mother in law. My husband didn’t defend me much. What saved us was moving far away. I’m sorry you’re treated that way. These women are jealous that they don’t have an all out control on their sons anymore. They feel treated that they are not their sons #1. Stay strong, cry it out but don’t give up. Overtime husbands have to also learn and admit that their mommies acting like that are toxic and have no right to behave like that. They do have to choose. The choice is obvious, the spouse. May God be with you and give you comfort through these trying situations.❤
I'm so grateful I found this video... I'm currently going through a similar situation and it's really hard, I'm in the process of letting go. Glad I'm not alone in this fight.
I can relate somewhat, only that the ones who rejected our relationship are from my side of the family. It's hard to this day that they might never accept him without attempting to know who he is to me.
i’m so sorry to hear this… i wish families weren’t like this sometimes and would accept the people we love and choose to
I’m sorry it’s been so hard for you and your family 💜 I hope and pray things will continue to get better (speak it into existence!) Sending love and a virtual hug 🫂 🤗
thank you 😍🤍 i receive the positivity!
Im sorry you’re going through this. Big hugs. ❤
thank you for your support hugs 🥹
@@iamkareno you’re not alone. Just know lots of people understand you and stand by you. It’s good to share the truth and our feelings.
Thank you for sharing with us your struggles. Families are very complicated and even though we make decisions for the best of the family, not everyone will agree.
I think parents get so used to having their kids around for so long that they forget once the kids grow up and form their own family (have kids, get married) that they have to let them go and let them live their lives.
And it comes off as selfish of them to think about what they want and not what is best for your new daughter. And very unfair to blame it on you. I know family is super important but creating these divisions makes it harder for everyone. You’re so strong and I am so glad Leo’s got your back.
Aww honey I wish I could hug you. I’m so sorry, there is so much grief involved with these situations… I don’t have anything to say that’s going to make it better but for what it’s worth you seem like a lovely person and you absolutely do deserve to be cherished. At minimum, you deserve respect and kindness. Sending you all the love 🫶🏻
Such a great tip & I am sorry that you had to go through this. I’m glad you are choosing YOU
As being a mother of a son who is just 9 years old 😅 I am like your mother-in-law is doing wrong for herself too because of her ego and hatred nature she is almost losing up on her son she should keep harmony in family to keep her son closer to her and also for sake of her son’s and his wife’s good mental health.
aww man that’s so horrible what you went through 😢😢😢. people see what they choose to see, never the truth! that part about being loving others until they prove otherwise part hit me like 😢 sending all the positivity over ❤❤❤
I am sorry to hear that, and I totally understand how you feel, because I have in laws like that. I understand the struggle and the pain, after 10 year me working towards to getting our relationship at better place. I CHOOSE ME! They pushed my button to bring my 6 year in to the battle, and telling the kids how bad I am as a mother. I was DONE at the moment, I did everything I can for them for past 10 years, host every birth party, holidays, and running their errands, their family and friends errands. I finally understand the WHY, they never accept you as family, and they never will. My husband is a wonderful man, he protects me from his toxic family. Now I am completely out off that rabbit whole. I value myself and focus more the people really love me as me. I am so happy you could find out this early then I did. I trust you will be much more success without them.
Thank you for sharing! Been missing your youtube videos. Feels like a big sis coming back!
I'm sorry for what you've been through. And I'm glad you're doing better now! Hope everything will be much easier from now on.
Thank you so much for your support! 🥰i miss vlogging and sharing. feels weird not being open with you guys and now that i am, i feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders
I think that as long as Leo was okay with you sharing your feelings you should do it, and sharing it on your page only means that you trust the community (us) that you’ve built to to have your heart on your sleeve and not be judged.
Sending lots of love and support ❤
Im so sorry karen, you are so lovable 😭... You really dont deserve that treatment
being a daughter in law in an asian family means you will be the lowest rank at his family… god bless you and i feel for you as another “not good enough” daughter in law in an asian family
it’s such a harsh reality i don’t want to accept
@@iamkarenolet’s just remind ourselves that it’s not us, it’s her, it’s them.
Reminds me of Crazy Rich Asians 😢
this is so real ...
Don’t forget sister in law! The worst part when your husband side with his family. We are divorced because of them.
unfortunately I fully understand what you’re dealing with because, my in laws are the same, and it’s because we moved too. it’s such an awful feeling, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this ❤
I totally feel you. I am married to an HK local and my MIL is literally from hell. She expects me to support her son(and her) financially and also at the same time disrespecting me.
I think it’s awesome that you’re talking about this online. Sure not everyone’s gonna be happy about it, but keeping these kinds of stories silent will only allow people who have disrespected you (and others who may have similar situations) to continue doing so. Thanks for sharing.
I met you at Creamfields briefly and from my encounter, you seem like such a wonderful and such a genuine soul! You are loved - hope you feel so much better soon 💙💛💙
That was so kind of you to say, thank you 💕
Coming from an Asian family, I totally get the mentality of keeping “family scandals in house and away from the public”. It’s been drilled into us to always keep up a facade of a perfect family no matter how bad it was. Thank you for sharing your story in the mist of feeling such vulnerability and showing the world we’re allowed to feel wronged regardless of being “family” or not. ❤
wow this spoke to me… and you’re spot on. i felt the need to keep a perfect facade but it wasn’t true to myself. you said it so perfectly 💕
As a fellow libra, I feel you completely! Huggg
thank you 🥹 and i’m a libra rising so it’s super strong in the way i operate haha
Good job for finally speaking up! I too just recently cut ties with a family member who bully me and emotional threaten me everytime things doesnt goes his way. For many decades, i can finally be true to myself n tell others i’m not on talking terms with him. Dont have to pretend anymore!!! 🥳
Thank you for sharing your story! You’re braver and more courageous than you’ll ever know. ❤
So sorry you’re experiencing this Karen ❤ I understand it when family members have conditional love for you, whether you have a certain job or lifestyle that they only accept under their terms. It’s great to have those around who truly support you. Thank you for sharing
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful and honest video. Regarding to your advice for your younger self… it’s so true that you marry into family. But! I think what’s most important is you have a partner who’s willing to defend and stand up for you no matter what. Thank goodness your husband does 🥰
Your video resonates with me because I’m in the same boat and will probably be the rest of my life. I’m the hugging type of person and my MIL won’t even hug me. I’ve been with my husband for 13 years now.
i’m glad that leo has your back 💖 when you become a husband and a father, your wife and kids are YOUR family. they should be the most important thing to you. i’m sorry that your MIL holds such contempt for you, just know that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her.
I'm so happy you've chosen yourself. I'm so glad you aren't going through this alone. 💗
Love you!!! Been a viewer for years and you always show good vibes and seem so genuinely nice and sweet! ❤ Its sad that someone can be mean or hurtful just because there older or stuck in their ways it’s no excuse, and even when u sent Leo straight away just shows how much family meant to you even when it wasn’t your own. I hope u keep ur peace & stay in Hong Kong building ur village & don’t feel pressured to move back & continue living ur best life. Sometimes u just have to let the leaves fall where they fall, I’m happy your back & these vlogs show u glowing!🎉❤
some parent think that their kids have to stay close to them when they are adults. That’s not how it works!
Also, how can a person do that to you to their kids? So mean and selfish 😢
Uff😳, yeah that's a tough one because now you're stuck in whatever dynamic that is forever. It's so important that women quadruple make sure that they're marrying into a supportive family, or at the very least know what they're getting into from the start. Otherwise, the most likely end up depressed and isolated.
It also sounds like your husband probably didn't have the strict boundaries that he should have had with them before ever dating you or anyone else. I had to do the same thing with my family before even thinking about dating anyone, I had to work on those boundaries with my family and make them a lot stricter. Because I knew that it wouldn't make sense to find someone that I want to be with and bring them into the drama and the chaos that could be caused by them. So I had to do the work beforehand, to separate myself as much as needed, to solidify those boundaries and speak up continuously, just put all these things in place before anyone even comes in to my life. I agree with you, I'm glad you spoke your mind and made the video and have this outlet❤
i was in a situation like that with an ex where his parents had blamed me for him failing class, or basically any inconvenience towards them in which they thought i am the root of their son's problems etc...when it was them who drove him into a career he was not interested in...either way, he did not advocate and stand up for me towards his parents which is a big reason why the relationship did not work out. of course culturally there were other nuances where "the son can do no wrong" i hope that you will resolve this and find peace.
I hope you and your family can heal from this situation. I’ve seen too many stories of toxic in laws and it sounds like you haven’t done anything to warrant the hate! I’m just curious though, won’t they hear about this video? How does Leo feel about it?
leo and i held hands and watched this video together before we uploaded it. he’s in full support🤍🤍🤍
Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable moment with us. It is always hard when it comes to family conflict but you did do what's best and what's best for you Leo and your daughter. I'm also a Libra and have huge empathy for people and it hurts when they don't treat you equally or as a person they love and care for as a family.
my mother-in-law also hated on me till she realised we were really going to get engaged. she has calmed a lot more, though i'd definitely still not be her #1 choice, probably more like her 100th haha. i'm glad she tried to change though. i'm sorry your in-laws just hate for no reason. it's really immature and often older adults in their generation just don't want to sit back and admit they're wrong. as long as Leo continues to support you, it's one of those things that isn't on you to change. hopefully, their eyes are opened one day to their baseless actions. sending love!
thank you for your love and support 🥹
Thank you for sharing! I found this so relatable and i was definitely tearing up during certain parts with you. Similar scenario happened with me except it wasnt with my in laws it was with my fiancé’s closest group of friends. Long story short - after all the things they said about me, my fiancé and I are celebrating 5 years together & counting. We’re getting married next year. I still see them from time to time and they still have not apologized for what they said but I find comfort in knowing that he defended me & that our relationship is still going strong. 🙂
hope ur better now
thank you 💕
My best friend sent me your video as I was just venting to her about my partner’s mom too. I am visiting them next weekend and have been an extreme ball of anxiousness. Last visit almost ended up in us separating but hopefully next week will be better. It hurts a lot and it’s so nice to see that you and Leo choose each other and the support plus love you both have for each other is so strong. Thanks for sharing your story.
Aww these videos makes me emotional 😢 sending you lots of love ❤
thank you so much 🥹
I'm really grateful for my mother-in-law because I am no contact with my own mother who is a covert narcissist. It's hard but sometimes we have to be grateful for what we do have when the things that should be positive or not. I feel for you! I can never have the relationship I want with my mother but my mother in law has changed my life.
i’m so happy you have a wonderful and loving MIL! i wish and pray that this could be me one day and for everyone to have such a loving mil too
I have the same exact story. I cut contact with my covert narc mother and while it took my mother in law some time to understand why, I'm very thankful to have her in my life. The little things my mother in law does for me are very meaningful because my own mother never was thoughtful enough to do them. Life blesses us in different ways!
Karen, you're amazing-that's all I have to say. Don't bottle up your feelings; you deserve peace and all the love.
thank you 🥹🥹
Oh my god. So sorry about your experience with them 😟 They should be happy that you have a job you can do from home and which you like. Doesn't it make their son's life better too.
I feel you. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. My boyfriend’s mother doesn’t like me either for superficial reason. Unfortunate but I don’t mind it as long as she’s good to my future children. I just told me boyfriend that it’s something he has to accept because it’s harder for her to change…
Hugs, momma! Keep choosing the family that you built. You and Leo and lovely Dove would get through this❤️
Thank you for always being so open and transparent, these types of topics are always difficult to talk about and despite people not wanting the information to be public I think it will be important in your healing journey and can help others to know they aren't alone going through something like this. We support and love you Karen ❤
thank you so much for your support and love 🥰
Quiet viewer here I relate because my ex is Filipino (plus a mommas boy) and even though I was invited to his family parties I was not liked by his family because I wasn’t a Filipino nurse. I even deal with this issue with my whole family as well because they are also ALL nurses.
Thanks for sharing this I’m glad Leo fought for you my ex didn’t fight for me he actually broke up with me after 5 years and chose his mom’s side and now he’s with a girl that is a nurse so it just shows the type of person he was in the end
I can understand what you went / are going through, i had similar experiences and it totally DRAINS the heck out of oneself. It takes so much of us, but please please remember to love and put yourself first. There is no one else that can love and protect you as much as you can do it for yourself. If we walk into the world with the most genuine intentions, we definitely deserve the best without a single doubt. I hope Leo will always choose, love and protect you as one should do. I wish you both the biggest strengths and hope you guys will be in a better place/state of mind. Much love!!❤
Thank you for sharing your vulnerable experiences, Karen. Coming from a background where I also didn’t feel the closest with my biological mother, I expected to have a stronger bond with my MIL. You’re not alone, Karen! You go this! ❤
Amen. I’m going through the same thing but Im picking my happiness 😁
Honestly good for you for sharing how you feel! Wishing you healing energy!
thank you 💕🙏🏼
You are so Loved Karen 🤍 continue to be who God made you to be which is loving, caring and forgiving.
I know this was hard but thanks for sharing 🤍
wow… i didn’t know how much i needed to hear these words. thank you for speaking so much light into my life 💕 thank you thank yoh
Ouch you become the scapegoat ;( that's terrible. I'm so so sorry. I just want to give you a big hug.
Honestly a lot of people don’t need a reason to not like you (they could even hate you because you have a bubbly personality and hate that for you) or their reason could be because they themselves are miserable and are projecting so it has nothing to do with you but more so with them. You have a pure heart and soul and it’s sad that they are like that. Leo is a grown man and has his own family now and yes it’s good to always take care of the family that raised you but at what cost? Them blaming you is unfair. Continue to be kind but keep your distance! I love you and you are doing amazing sweetheart 🫶🏽
This is SO relatable. Thank you for speaking your truth Karen!
It’s literally insane how I was thinking of you today after aaaages and you uploaded! Sending you love ❤
I share a lot of similarities with my mother-in-law, sometimes I think she knows me better than my own mom. We meet once a year since we live in different countries. It's a wise choice to stay away from them, and I am glad your hubby is on your side.❤❤
Sending you all my love 😭. I’m not married but my older sisters are and their MIL is the same way. Wishing you smooth sailings from here on out. Praying that you don’t forget your worth just because they don’t like you. ❤❤❤❤
Girllll didn’t even notice you removing your makeup????? Skin goals 😭❤️ sending you love and light xx
So sorry you had to go through that and that you were treated so undeservingly! Sending you hugs! Stay strong ❤️❤️
Honestly you are an angel for putting up with them before😂, if it were me, it would hVe been as simple as “see ya never.”
It’s a good thing to let your feelings out and be known. I hope you feel uplifted and things get better! Most importantly, I’m glad Leo always had your back! Some families can be toxic! Not understanding at all! Its okay to stop seeking validation from them and focus on the family you’ve created. Knowing that you guys tried matters.
Thank you for your kind words and support, I really appreciate it 💕
Thank you so much for sharing all of that, I can all see how hard it must have been and how much courage it took to finally share it, and in as objective a way as possible too. It must have been such a shock & a thorn in your heart when you realized what they really thought of you. You are such a caring and family-oriented person, so ultimately, it is their loss to miss out on having a close familial relationship with you!
I have been with my husband for the last 18 years. We are married with 2 kids, and my relationship with my in laws are exactly like yours. It’s hard. But for my own sanity and peace, i decided to set boundaries and remove myself from the toxicity. Unfortunately for me, i know things will never get better and you can’t change people who do not want to change. I hope you find your peace.
Keep choosing you and leading with kindness.
Wishing you well and happy you have your family and friends in HK to support you!!
had the same problem with my MIL who hates me for no justifiable reason. my experience is so much worse than yours actually, that my husband decided to go no contact because it was that toxic. i feel bad he did that but we both needed our peace of mind back. healing takes time. try to forgive even though they don't deserve it. move on and move forward. you deserve to be happy too
we support you! and wish you all the best and love to hear ur updates just let us know you are ok xoxo
Sending all the love and thank you for sharing. My in laws used to dislike me but thank goodness we have a good relationship now but it took years. I remember just how stressful and heartbreaking it was. I am so sorry you are going through all this.
I’m in the same boat as you… in laws, relocation, being blamed for everything. We just have to focus on ourselves and as long as we know we didn’t do anything wrong, we can focus on our own peace. Of course easier said than done when there’s grandchildren and grandparents involved. But we gotta try, or else we’ll just never function. ❤
Thanks for posting this and I’m sorry you’ve been going through this for so long. ❤ I related to this so hard because I married an Albanian Muslim who’ve I’ve known for basically my whole life and we even lived don’t the block from each other when we were younger for like a decade. His family (including his sisters who I was friends wish) shunned me and bullied me into depression. They would act like they “accepted me” in front of him at times and when he would leave the house they would treat me like I wasn’t a human- like I wasn’t someone daughter, sister, friend. My husband chose me and we struggled on our own for 3 years and he didn’t have contact with his family during that time. They’ve since come around and we’ve been together for almost 8 years now but I am still to this day uncomfortable being with them and never feel like I can be myself and or open. They can forget what they did and I can forgive them but I don’t think I’ll ever forget how they treated me for “stealing their son/brother from them” (which I never did and had no intention of doing)
I’m sorry that this happened to you :( and I know how it feels for someone to say that’s not a job. They definitely don’t understand
Karen, I am so sorry to hear you had to deal with that and are probably still dealing with it. It’s such a strange situation to be in with your in laws especially when you are part of their family. I went through this and am still going through this. You literally said everything that I have always wanted to say to someone. Hearing you speak of your struggle, definitely resonated with me. I blamed myself so much bc everyone in my boyfriend’s family seemed to hate me but they couldn’t explain why they hated me. Since I started choosing me, I realized that it wasn’t me that was the issue. It was my partner’s family. They were constantly guilt tripping him for choosing me and for being on my side when no one else was. Although I had lost the closeness that I once had with his family, my partner and I, our bond grew stronger. I didn’t want him to choose me over his family or his family over me. I wanted his family to stop seeing me as the bad person for everything. It’s still so hard to this day. I hope that one day, people can question themselves and really ask if it was worth all of the hating. Stay strong! I’m wishing the best for you!
I really admire you for touching on this topic, thank you for being so open and vulnerable with us. Most TH-camrs only show the positive aspects of their relationship and while I understand why they choose to do that, it doesn't show a realistic portrayal of marriage. I appreciate you for sharing what you're going through because even though it's something that's common in Asian family dynamics, not enough people are talking about it. Asian culture places such a huge emphasis on collectivism and as women marrying into the family, we're expected to conform and change to meet other people's expectations. I'm proud of you for staying true to yourself and your values despite being in a tough situation. No matter what happens, you can look back and tell yourself you did everything you could to make things better.
Whenever they treat you negatively or make you feel unwelcome, just know that it's not your fault. Even if you did change for them (by getting a "traditional" job), they would find something else to critique you on. Their words/actions are a mirror of themselves and not of you! Know that your community has your back and you are not alone in your struggles.
thank you for sharing. you’re right that in asian cultures, women are generally encouraged to stay quiet and maintain the peace to portray a harmonious picture perfect family. it’s been encouraging to see so many comments that are speaking up and sharing their experiences and sending positive thoughts to me. i really appreciate your comment 🥰💕
Sending you so so much love. This is really hard, but it seems you are accepting of the realities day by day. Choose yourself first, always. ❤
Currently in this phase in my life after being with my husband for 11 years already. Still trying my best to stay afloat. I’m finally starting to choose myself and stay firm to my boundaries.
I know you might not remember me, but I remember meeting you at Kevin Pho Noodle house in Daly City. You and Leo were the sweetest people I met. ❤
I'm glad that you chose you. ❤ im also glad leo chooses you, the bible says,
"therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh"
Yes! You deserve to be loved! I understand there are cultural aspects to this situation...however, the most important aspect is the human aspect! Your in laws or whomever may be behaving this way towards you are selfish. They do not seem to realize or perhaps care that in treating you this way they are affecting not only you but your daughter & husband in a very negative way! Yes, family can be everything - but Not when they are causing pain, discomfort & being disrespectful! I don't know your story - but just hearing what you have shared here tells me that it is no coincidence that the universe made it so that you are living far from this toxic situation! I realize you still have to deal w/it bcse these people are your husband's family - but at the end of the day you have to create boundaries to protect yourself - even it it is protecting yourself from family! I hope you are able to find peace in doing whatever is necessary for your self respect!! 🌷
Well done for opening up and sharing the reasons for you silence. I'm glad you're putting yourself first. Bottom line is, Leo is your husband and you and him have your own lives. Without disrespecting your inlaws, you did nothing wrong.
I know what it's like to forever feel like having to impress your inlaws and knowing deep down inside they'll never accept us. But screw that. We're married, we have a family. We don't need to kiss their a** anymore, whatever issues they have. That's their problem.
You live and enjoy your life the way you want you and your family to live it. It's up to them if they want to join in or not.
Period.
Sending lots of love ❤🇬🇧
🥹🙏🏼 thank you for your support. it’s true… and it’s time to stand up for myself
@@iamkareno You got this mama 💪🏻🖤
You have so much patience and love in you Karen !! You’ll get through this ❤️ adore and love you !
This is so heartbreaking 😢 fortunately, I’m not in this position, but my grandma has been in this situation with her sister in law. Till this day, they both still hold resentment after 50 something years in marriage. And nobody still don’t know why my great aunt don’t like my grandma.