This KEEPS 90% Of People From FINDING LOVE (Fix This Today!) | Marisa Peer & Lewis Howes
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 มิ.ย. 2024
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Marisa Peer is the author of ‘I Am Enough’ and creator of Rapid Transformational Therapy®️(RTT). Marisa Peer is an English best-selling author, nutritionist, relationship therapist, hypnotherapist trainer, and motivational speaker. She is using hypnosis for anxiety, weight loss, addiction, and overcoming fear.
She has spent over 30 years working with people including royalty, rock stars, actors, professional and Olympic athletes, CEOs and media personalities and has developed her own style that is frequently referred to as “life-changing.”
Other than ‘I Am Enough’, Marisa Peer is also the author of ‘You Can Be Thin’, ‘Ultimate Confidence’, ‘Trying to Get Pregnant’ and ‘You Can Be Younger’. Her specialist subjects include: hypnosis, infertility (pregnancy), fears/ phobias, stage fright, low self-esteem, confidence/ self-esteem, weight loss, relationships, career, addictions and childhood problems.
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If you’re ready to get “real” about relationships and finding the lasting love you want, then I think this episode is going to provide you with a ton of value.
I’m always on the lookout for ways to improve our sense of self-worth and self-love, and I’ve found relationships to be a great motivator for so many people out there to improve it. And now, I hope you’ll join me for Episode 1,228 of The School of Greatness!
You can follow me at:
Website: lewishowes.com/
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![Healing Vortex | The Ultimate Self-Love Booster | Marisa Peer [VALENTINE'S DAY]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/BE6X-h2neE0/mqdefault.jpg)
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Doing your VIP challenge week. Loving it. My sister and I are doing it. Learning more about myself and stories I am hanging on it. Love how you address inner child work. Marissa is a big influence. Going through that process of what thoughts I regularly are telling myself. Sending love from Mount, NZ. Joena
Happy to have you!
The upmost take away,
There's philosophy to capture the mind but will never lock the..
Being well read is a self work now.
Loves it.
She's always great to listen to, thanks Lewis for having great people on.
INTERVIEW NOTES: (condensed, and enhanced a bit)
-Don't be rejected; we are enough!
- Acknowledge: I am enough!
- I can deal with this. I've got this!
- I'm unique, but not so different from others
- I keep learning and moving forward by connecting with others!
- I'm lovable; and worthy of love!
- I take care of myself and recognize my own needs; I nurture myself
- I keep myself safe; and I believe I'm secure.
- I evaluate and re-prioritize my needs regularily as needed
- Our mates Lifestyle should match for long term compatibility. Our Values and Goals are important, but don't need to match
- Tune into your gut feelings; recognize and respond to red flags
- Get in touch with yourself: feel your feelings; get know yourself deeply and intimately
- I express my feelings to release them; both internly and interpersonally.
- I express my hurts promptly to loved ones; to release my pain and get resolution, so I/we can heal.
- I praise myself for my gifts; and praise others for thiers!
- I acknowledge what I have to offer others: I am kind, honest, thoughtful... I'm valuable to myself and others!
- Make your bad habits unfamiliar; and self praise familiar!
- Don't fear rejection, keep moving forward by connecting with others!
- You and your body react to thoughts; and you can change you thoughts in an instant!
- Feelngs follow thoughts. Change you focus and your feelings will change! Look at the sunny side... Count your blessings...
- Don't react, RESPOND instead!
- Youve got more choices now: Fight, flight, freeze, or FLOW!
- When safe and right/good, go with the flow!
- Watch your words, they create illustrations/illusions.
- Speak only Truths to yourself and others!
- Thoughts create feelings; exchange your thoughts, to change you feelings.
- You can change your thoughts and interpretation/perspective instantly; enlighten them to brighten up your world!
Feel-good nonsense
Very kind of you to do this ,share and post it.I appreciate that.Thank you.
Thank you
How very thoughtful of you to share these notes. VERY HELPFUL! THANK YOU!
You are awesome.
I knew Marisa 40 years ago in south Kensington. She was allways doing yoga and very organised. It was a dark time for her. I remember driving by her first psychotherapy clinic. Great to see her at the top of her proffesion.
👍
Overthinking, self absorption, grass is greener syndrome, and negative self-talk
We can’t look for love outside ourselves
It’s an inside job
Taking shots -- that's the answer. The people who are successful at dating put themselves out there often. They may face rejection at times, but they gain experience, build confidence, and create endless opportunities.
Most people don't want to know that you are lonely; if you tell them, they'll probably remind you to be strong, that there are people out there who are not as lucky as you are; they'll probably check back in a few weeks to see if you feel better; they either have their own problems to deal with or they really don't understand what you are talking about
INSECURITY IS THE MAIN REASON,YOU GOTTA LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!! !♥️♥️♥️♥️
Marisa Peer is like a lighthouse in a storm, the beacon that saves us from dangerous waters. Her teachings are amazing, she is amazing. I am so grateful for the day I discovered her and I thought that her video was made just for me. Since then, I went from a very insecure, introvert person to a contented, confident woman. Oh, I am still a work in progress but I'll get to be the best of myself. I recommend to people to become a member on her platform, Abundant life.
Thanks Marisa and Lewis for this great interview.
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to subscribe and leave me a review here:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499
@@lewishowes I will! Thank you for all your hard work and great interviews
I am the scapegoat in my family and i've always looked for "connection" . She has put a word onto what I have spent my life seeking. In the process i've let so many garbage people in my life because I thought I did not deserve better so anyone was better than nothing. I'm 55 and finally realizing that I have to seek out the right people and create my life and reject the garbage.
👍
Same!!!
I'm so sorry that ur needs weren't met as a child. Remember that your parents were just imperfect people. You can love them from a distance but maintain healthy boundaries. You are so lovable and worthy of the best so please tell urself this every single day! X
Yes!! I'm with you
To find real love is to love thy self so much that you have no attachment to another ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@anituccia that’s a fact!!!! Everyday you will spend is with you!! 🤯
As far as I'm concerned, Marisa is a guru, a goddess. I love that she shares her vast wisdom so freely and Lewis asks wonderful questions. The day I discovered Marisa, I was enthralled and spent the entire day watching her videos. In a day, I learned more valuable information about myself and others than from the ten years I spent in therapy. I've sent her books and videos to everyone I care about and made giant posters that say You Are Enough, You Are Lovable and posted them in my classroom. Isn't it awesome to live in a time when we can learn anything for free and share the information with just a click of a button! Marisa, thank you for your gifts!!! Lewis, thank you for yours!
"I'm Not Going to Settle Anymore I'm Lovable No Matter What." Yes, I Am. 15 Years Celibate Disease Free Love My Alone Time Rediscovering My Authentic Self. 60th September 2022 Yeah, I Gave Up the Need to Feel I Matter, I'm Loved, I'm Significant, and I'm Safe. My Family Never Confirmed It and Never Really Cared Accept to Provide. I Thought I Could Get It from My Children Now Adults 27 & 37 but It Didn't Pan Out That Way. NYC
Its a trend for single mothers past their prime years to accept this path. It is also a warning for young women to regard their youth as a limited resource and to pursue relationships meaningfully at an early age. Nobody wants to die alone.
@@interestingamerican3100 No, no one wants to die alone and although that is apart of the process and yet whether married or not you do not have to be alone during the process of your death. At that same token, beyond the constrictions of our patriarchy I say to young women spend your youth wisely even though , everyone isn't meant to be married either. That's an ideal not a reality.
@@friedaholmes3782 I don't doubt you are genuine in your expression. I don't see the patriarchy in my observations of modern women prioritizing self over family. No child deserves to be in a broken family. Nature has a way of being unfavorable to the gluttony of modern women.
I'm glad you are content with yourself. Not patronizing, but this path is the modern woman's dilemma and it is responsible for the trends of unhappiness in an era where women are more free than ever before but are also more in want and unhappy than justifiably it would seem.
@@interestingamerican3100 Amen, to that, It isn't just about personal choices and karmic debt. Our environment matters as well.
Hands down, Marissa Peer is the most important guest I have come across on School of Greatness.
👍
Well done.
just sharing my notes here:
if you are going to lie to yourself, make it a POSITIVE lie. believe you're worth it! (make an effort to BE LOVABLE!)
don't expect those people in your family (or early life) who made you feel bad about yourself to EVER change no matter what you do;
there is plenty of love out in the universe - seek that out.
WE THE PEOPLE DEMAND MORE OF HER
Demand more of you ;)
Youre so clarifying on this .
How a person makes you feel when youre aroundt hem . The easiness and inner joy, peace and safety ambience is very important.
Not how you feel about the person.
Thank you👍
She has an attractive and soothing tone of voice that fascinates, wants to watch over and over again, please invite her again to an interview, she is amazing, her every sentence is a masterpiece and aforism.
Thank you so much for watching! :)
5:25 it's not just that you think they'll think you're weak and needy. It's that you think people really don't care. A lot of times they don't. They might say they do but actions are louder than words.
Agree
You deserve to find your true love but if you don’t love yourself first you will ruin the chance you get with them! The universe knows you’re not ready yet! It’s blessing you ❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽
I just love how positive statements just roll off her tongue like they are on a conveyor belt! Lol she has inspired m3 to learn to do the same!
I might add I'm very picky who I allow to be in my life!! If I don't trust them I push them aside and if they whine about it I gently tell them it's for the best I remove myself from them. Lol
The worst decision I made in my life was marrying a person I didn't want to marry. My mother pushed me into it because I was pregnant.
Sorry plenty of us know we are good and lovable but there's just a shortage of decent people - it's supply and demand. I also know people that had low self-esteem and bad backgrounds but they we're just blessed to find somebody that loved them and stuck with them despite their not feeling good about themselves and they know they were blessed. Knowing that you are good enough and worthy is not enough to bring someone in your life if there is a shortage out there of good available partners.
summed up perfectly- thats the boat I am in. I met someone who is amazing and continually think when was the last time people were like this? 50 years ago.
Nadia Fedorenko: You are very right. I am 69. My ex husband was very self-centered and was neither a good husband or a good father. I have been looking for a good, kind man for 25 years. I have only encountered two who were suitable. But they were both stuck in other bad relationships, controlled by their partners. Another was divorced but still attached to his ex. I'm a good woman, but the picking is slim out there.
@@SJMatta Yes it would definitely be easier if there was a large supply of choices. If stocks are low at the supermarket and only leftover bad fruit and vegetables are left then our pickings are slim - same with partners!
Totally agree, specially the older we get. Screw finding a partner, cats and dogs are better as family. ❤️
I agree too. I have had an awful self esteem most of my life but found a boy 30 years ago -also with an awful self esteem- and we have worked life out together as happy married couple seen from the outside. Seen from the inside two insecure young people who have just done our best to to make it work. We both have NO idea who we would want to be with if we didn’t have each other. It has been a funny but sobering game to play over many glasses of red wine through the time. He has had slightly more women on the list that I have got men, but both lists are very short! Good luck you people out there! I hope you find someone. Be good to them if you do!
1:57-2:32
3 problems 16:53-19:36
20:08-20:36 There are ALL Kinds of love
21:25-22:30 You have to have an Absolute Conviction
25:15-25:46
Couples fight about money, home chores, lifestyle/values
32:58-34:27
Feel your feelings until they no longer require to be felt
37:53-38:28
41:47-43:27
44:37-45:15 Express you are hurt close to the event
45:48-46:04
50:24-52:32 Praise Everyday
1:02:45-1:03:25
1:13:37-1:15:29
1:22:18-1:23:49
❤️
Ooo. This is important.... 12:55
We hurt ourselves repeatedly, expecting the same people who hurt us, to fix it and heal us .... causing ourselves to be disappointed, over and over. We deepen our wounds this way, instead of healing them. This *deepening* of the original wounds is almost self-inflicted, because we're expecting the opposite reaction to suddenly happen. It's not going to. Often the people who hurt us are so wounded themselves, that they can't help us heal. They often just repeat whatever words or actions hurt us in the first place, or show us that somehow they're not able to help us heal. That's not the way to heal. Finding DIFFERENT people who will love you and accept you the way you are, will heal your heart. Get love from people who are healthy enough to give love. The wounded people are still wounded. We have no idea how much they went through when they were young, that contributed to how wounded they are. The same people who hurt you might not be able to help you heal. (( Stop comparing how much love you are able to give others, compared to how much they are able to give you. )) Click 12:55 and watch that part again. ❤️❤️❤️
1:01:15 your mind will react to your thinking
I am not even 30 mins in and this video has already changed my life. I needed to hear this!
So happy to hear we have supported you!
@@lewishowes i sent you an Instagram message.
Love yourself and people or someone will love you back❤️
💯
Yes get to know yourself, love yourself, work on self and be you ❤️. All the nonsense is eliminated. 🙏
Perfect example as to why you don't ask a fish...
The number 1 reason women don't find love is because they waste years chasing after the big fish. I mean, hats off for the interviewer's patience because MY GAWD this woman is still lost.....
@@interestingamerican3100 facts
One different opinion...feelings can lead us wrong. They have for me and I've seen it lead others wrong too.
Feelings are not facts
Marisa Peer is one of my greatest inspiration! Thank you Lewis Howes.
You're welcome, thank you for being here 🧡
Life and people are more complex than most realize. It just is. It results in a whole range of outcomes for anything we do.
What a loving way you look at your guest-attentive and alert!💕
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
One heart ❤️ that beats for unification for all
You can always create your own family, how do you do that? I am 40 now and didnt manage to create my own family yet, what's your advise? Thank you!
What beautiful words coming from this wise woman 💗 THANK YOU 🙏🏽
She helps to enhance your self-esteem.
Hello beautiful
She’s so incredible. ✨
Thank you for posting! 🙏
Lewis, Your one of the best interviewers, was hook on your show from the Get-Go! I bet you would be great to interview! Love your honesty.
Thank You Both for the talk....
She’s really good! Thank you I’ll check out her book 🙌🏽
I agree. She reminds me of a modern day Louise Hay.
@@samirianhill3597 love Louise Hayes
This woman is amazing! Im learning so much
Wired to what is familiar... 🧐.. SO TRUE!!
Marisa, you rock!
I was laughing when I discovered this and looked down at a stain on my shirt lol thank you for asking the right questions to the right person, what a poignant look at love, and I 100% agree lifestyles are a must to match above all things because when there is no match its a frustration .. and also being in tune with feelings 35:49
Love her! Listening to this is like putting balm on the soul😌
The benefits of love and being loved? IT’S LOVABLE! Thank you both of you.
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
I absolutely love her, I've been listening to her for years
🧡
She's great, also Lewis
Bought and read the book as soon as it was available and thought it was an outstanding, resourceful source to facilitate change.
Lewis and Marissa!!! Thank you for sharing yourselves! I understand what you do and appreciate who you both are so much!
You're welcome, thank you for being here 🧡
She takes you to inner bliss 🎉
Thank you for being an unselfish giver
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
Great one! Thank you. Going to start the self praise now.
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
Her voice is so soothing ,
Very smart woman
Always a pleasure..thank you
Btw 2:08 somehow made me laugh so hard
People tell us in many ways we aren't lovable.
I was crazy about this guy. I thought he felt the same until he told me a 25 year old woman wanted to see him "again". She was younger than his own daughter's. Destroyed me. It took me a long time to get over it. I realized of course in the end he wasn't for me.
I relate to both of you!
The problem is because even people who are not loveable want someone to love them. No one finds love if they do not have love to give.
Man Brene Brown and Marissa Peer should be conversing over and over and talk about vulnerability 😍 itll be great
love this thank you for this
belated Valentines Lewis 😘
I really enjoyed this! Thank you Marisa and Lewis! Thank you your team!
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to subscribe and leave me a review here:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499
Wow, I learnt so much!. Thank you! Mrs. Peer is amazing!
Glad this was helpful for you🧡
Love her, first time watching this is great personal information that is so needed.
This is your first time hearing her speak? 😲
This is exactly what I’m learning- thank you Marisa and Lewis. I need to make a new family for myself. My love is an ocean and you I can’t get love from a cup if your love is an ocean. This hit home! 🎯 I am lovable and I will not settle. LOOK for connection not disconnection! Make it familiar. Make a better belief! You are someone’s lid to someone’s pan! Beautiful! I am worthy of love. I am lovable. 💗 Tell ourselves we are lovable! Unshakeable belief!! I love myself! Love this! Have the same values! Thank you great interviewee and interviewer. This helps!!
Hello,greetings from 🇰🇪
We love people unconditionally.
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
You will find it. I’m 12 years and waiting ! I won’t settle though 🤷🏻♂️
So good!
*Very informative!*
_Love your videos!_
Thank you so much🧡
Thank you 😊 💓 🙏
Things we need to hear
*Interesting information!*
_Love your videos!_
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to subscribe and leave me a review here:
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499
I LOVE HER
Your real voice is nice.
Love it! Great love video! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Awesome advice! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for watching! 🧡
I loved this!!
Glad you enjoyed it!
100% she is spot on!
🧡
I loved this!❤️
🧡🧡🧡
And what if you've learned to love yourself so much, you no longer feel the desire or need to be with someone?
I wouldnt know. Im not at that point, but it is a needle in a haystack
@lewisholmes wow this episode really helped me. Lots of info I already knew and good reminders of changing your mindset. Thanks!👍🙏 #greatness
So happy to hear we have supported you!
Awesome questions Lewis ❤️
Thank you!
I am curious to know what percentage of the single population is like me, happier without a mate or partner.
Same here. Single by choice.
Can't go the level of doormat again..
Here here!
Good one.
🧡
I'm the same as you. ❤
My all time favorite interview!
Hello beautiful
9:00 most people afraid of connecting
Twin flame is NOT trauma bonding!!!!
Trauma bonded people prefer to think the abuser is their twinflame but it is NOT like that. It is all about a spiritual relationship and awakening.
Of course i dont expect Marisa Peer to understand that.
So much tax search for this but the system is something I'd like to understand.
Love it❤ i have thé one I Love dont need anyone else😊🎉❤
One thing I disagree with is having the same religion. That is a big deal. Maybe not short term but long term it is important. Unless your religion is not that important to you. Yes, you can get along being different religions but why add the struggle?
I heard she said that it’s important to have the same beliefs in religion
Marisa Peer plz change my inner child.i heard Robert g Smith...
I was with my love during 1st year of law school: hence I had to repeat the 1st year and we broke up. Didn't even appreciate my time
We are going through a cultural shift. Men have become narcissists and women are happier alone. Until men become men again, we will prefer to be single and happy.
This is how narcissists bloom, and generosity dies. Sometimes true love is a cold, calculated decision.
Most peeps are single cause it's just luck finding someone you find attractive, feel comfy, mental connection,chemistry, emotionally stable and trust.Otherwise its better to live life regardless.Marriage is a outworn institution and overrated.Men love a level of submission in a woman and its truly a boring and robotic way of living to be in a so called secure relationship. Woman live your life on your own terms and enjoy each moment, its not bound to having a man to be fulfilled.If you meet a guy who is sincere you will know and go with it ,otherwise just keep loving your life 💜❤💚🧡
The major reason is being friendless. Average men only have a chance using social circles. Perhaps meeting girls at a mutual friends party.
Because its quite simple they fell in love then fell out of love then all the arguments started then they broke up. Who always come out on top after a split up ?????
Why are they single? Because they’re smart!
My friends always try to set me up with some random girl. They think I'm dumb and will just date her just because I'm single and she's available
@@lightghost7524 Yet here you are… watching a video about being single.
@@rena6895 Aren't we all watching the same video?
First view (15 second) and like comment
1:38 ***you forgot my birthday
11.15
Who told u? Our families of course
They are trapped in the prison of the Comfort Zone.
Liking so far, but who said that trauma bonds are good?