My #1 Parenting Advice w/ Jackie Francois Angel
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ส.ค. 2024
- Full Episode: • Marriage, Todays Cultu...
Jackie and Matt give the best parenting advice they can: relax. Often new parents put a ton of pressure on themselves to be perfect and have perfect kids. God doesn't want us to parent perfectly on our own, he wants us to love with his love and be patient.
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Needed to hear this. Thank you!
Parenting advice is great. I'm not a parent yet but I really appreciate hearing from those who are.
Our first child had horrible tantrums every day for an hour. It really looked bad sometimes. I said to my husband a few Times is this maybe demonic because it was really scary. Our neighbour said she prayed for us. It stopped when our child turned 3yrs. :)
Hi Jackie from St. Joseph Parish in Placentia!
We joke at our house that babies and little kids overflow with emotion quickly because they are so small. It's true, though, that you have to be able to very finely distinguish and judge between being overwhelmed by legitimate emotion (hunger, fatigue, frustrated affection) and possession by sinful passions (for little kids it seems mostly covetousness and hatred). If you can't do it for yourself, you're going to have a real hard time doing it for your children.
As a single man in his 40s with no kids who came to be an elementary school teacher at that time, the Lord helped me immensely to develop the skill that you're talking about. Not being moved or swayed by big emotions, unless of course it's warranted and necessary (e.g. someone got hurt). However, as someone who is now pushing 50, and still seeking to not be single, I've come to realize that many adults (especially women) don't appreciate it when the same skill is (rightly) applied to them. Not overreacting or responding in kind if they are having an adult tantrum. Do either of you have any wisdom or insight about that? It's been a relationship killer for me, even though I know it often stems from previous success for them with emotional manipulation.
In Christ,
Andrew
I'll give some straightforward advice on women. When a woman is upset, they primarily seek affirmation for their emotions. That is why, when women talk to each other, they have the same energy levels or end up increasing the energy level.
It has nothing to do with why they're upset, primarily. It's to do with them being upset and needing confirmation that yes, they're upset and you relate to and accept that they're upset. Once they get that confirmation, that you're "empathetic" to their struggle, they will oftentimes just calm down and know how they want to deal with the situation or they will then, after having calmed down, want your help in dealing whatever struggle they're experiencing.
It's far simpler for us men to deal with each other because it is straightforward and simple. With women... not so much.
@@csongorarpad4670 I understand and agree with what you're saying brother, but what I'm saying is that it's not always healthy and beneficial for us as disciples to validate emotions that are not aligned with the Lord and the truth.
For example, I've actually had a woman get upset with me for sincerely apologizing to her, which is totally ridiculous and not worth validating. Such reactions are very indicative of where any of us are or aren't (yet?) in our walk with the Lord and each other.
Our emotions need to be subjected to Him and His goodness as well, and we should appreciate everyone who is willing to help us do that. Otherwise, we might as well be courting unruly adults with the unformed heart of a teenager. No thanks.
God bless brother
@@emilywisniewski2247 Yes, empathy doesn't have to include validation but when that's not completely included ("I understand why you feel the way you do, but what I want you to see is that you're feelings in this situation are not aligned with what the Lord wants for you or from you - for example, we shouldn't feel good when we do something wrong and we shouldn't feel bad when we do something good), that's usually not perceived as empathy because the validation is either lacking or not solely there (and primary).
So, even though it's possible to do that, it doesn't go over well with anyone who is more focused on their emotions than they are on the truth. There is no love worth having that exists outside the truth, and that is where many of us fall short when it comes to being empathetic or requiring it from another.
Also, if it helps, I was not in a relationship with the woman I mentioned in my original post. She was the wife of someone I knew from church, and I was apologizing to her for giving her a hard time about something the last time I was with them both. I was quite sincere and genuine, and she choose to get upset rather than accept it graciously or gratefully.
In Christ,
Andrew
Matt, did you hear about Jizkiahu Ben David (Shlomo Yehuda?) He's trending now. He's starting to pop up on mainstream media now.
I had a kid get mad at me and throw holy water on me once.
Just flick as a warning and discipline well outside of mass. Also promise fluffies and marshmallows for being good and quiet giving them plenty of time to think about it well before mass starts... Makes for amazing mass kids 90% of the time. And they just seem happy most of the time. Never any tantrums. But if they're sad for some reason of course crying is always allowed. Just consistency on principles, clear explanations and integrity with what you say. Always deliver what you say and allow their emotions to be educational rather than a form of manipulation mastery. Wrong doing always requires punishment, because Godly punishment is only ever corrective and rehabilitative for the sake of love and their soul. Never out of anger, because the wrath of man does not bring about God's righteousness. If your anger while disciplining, you've already failed at discipline earlier where opportunities for behaviour correction discipline arose and you didn't take them because you felt mean. Never avoid discipline because it feels mean. Rather understand your feelings and focus on the love you have for the soul of your child rather than your own feelings. When God asked the Israelites to slaughter all their family members who rejected God for idols, would you have followed God knowing His purposes were good, or would you have been slaughtered because slaughtering felt mean...?
Check out catholic.com if you need help making sense of scripture and slaughter. A useful tip is to remember that the Israelites were constantly aware of God's presence by his blatant and prominent miracles. So how much more in defiance and evil were they to reject God so blatantly... For them to be commanded of such a thing is an extremely different reality to any one of us today to be commanded of such a thing. Nevertheless the principle of whether you follow God and hate evil still stands. Do you not trust God and sacrifice God's will on the altar of your emotions and ego? Or do you perceive what is good and right and act in faith that the Lord is leading you?