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Never live that close to family that they can stop by anytime. Leave some distance so they can come by now and then but not so close they want to stop by every weekend.
The foreigners need to be honest also upfront we are not rich. I told my Filipina I was considered some what low income or poor for California standards do to the cost of living when we was just starting to date. She never asked for money. I think I was a lucky one. She said it was okay because she is Filipina and is use to struggle and most importantly we there for each and love each other.
Pea '@ 4:21 "Don't lie." As you said We are not stupid. My last Thai fiancée supposedly was going to her local town to buy a dress for the Thai wedding which was to happen the next month when I returned. I'd already processed the K-1 visa paperwork and all that was required was a trip to do the interview in Bangkok. I'd provided her with a duplicate Paypal card which attached to my account. (I trusted her with controlling spending to those things really needed.) She apparently didn't realize I could see every purchase including location. When there appeared a purchase in a town in another province far enough away to preclude a one day trip I questioned it. Our method of contact was though her identical twin sister's laptop. Sis was a teacher. Both sisters lived at home with her parents. Sister told me my fiancée had been gone a couple days, and neither she or their parents knew where she went. I asked about the location which showed up on Paypal. That town was where my fiancée's previous Thai boyfriend lived. It certainly wasn't the local dressmakers shop. That very day her Paypal card was cancelled, and the visa process was cancelled. I'd already heard her lie to her parents about other things. (Being fluent in Thai was key to that.) The point girls is don't lie to an American man who has decades of life experience. We are not stupid, and won't put up with a liar.
@@thebigmann81 Generally you can work that out with your Pinay GF, she will want your time, more than your money. The problem is more often with the family, who will look at you as a bank.
@tsieppy nah... 3 is good. Respect and being my peace are far more important, followed by loyalty and sex if we are ranking them in order. 1. Respect 2. Peace 3. Honesty 4. Loyalty 5. Sex (bonuses) keep the belly full and the house clean
Do tell. I can cook better than most women, I’m capable of operating the machines in the laundry room, I really don’t put many demands on a companion. I doubt that I’m unique.
Pea, you are one of a kind. You are correct in everything you said. If western women followed your advice - 1. Respect 2. Loyalty 3. Peace 4. Sex 5. Honesty There would be no Passport Bros.
Dude western women don’t need men like those men who goes to Philippine first thing first what is their professional or what is their qualifications what type of career they have are jobs that they can hold down a career women this is them down fall every good woman needs a good man but they as to have something dude and that’s were class come in,dude Philippine women don’t have class education or any qualifications or career skills to even help themselves properly so men like you passport dude come in pension and bloggers.
When we are back in the states for my 6 month work stint, wife still has coffee ready for me before I leave for work at 5am and dinner ready when I get home, I in return will wash the dishes and walk the dog. yep, I am very simple, and in the brain too. 15th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks
Congrats on 15 years, mate! And you are right: It's the simple things, done without asking or being asked, that show your love and respect for your partner.
You were 98% right in everything you said about us foreigners. You are so brilliant at your research. I only hope and pray that Filipina's watch and learn from you.
Not all men are the same. Personally, I'm a gentleman. But I haven't experienced her ideas of bedroom activities. That's my 2%. Nobody is perfect. Pea is close... But there again. It's only 2% @@pakviroti3616
@@TheFilipinaPea Because Men are Literal Thinking creatures and Women are Feeling Interpretative ones that sometimes speak in tongues or some Alien language but it is a complimentary mix
If you are a Filipina who expects her new rich western husband to "help" your massive family with frequent deposits into the bank of "That Money is Gone Forever", you need to be VERY honest about exactly what you expect and you need to be willing to accept something less than what you think that black hole needs. But most importantly, once you come to an agreement on this, NEVER deviate to get more and strive for ways for him to receive some form of consideration in advance. Never guilt trip him about what he does offer. The reality is that no man wants to take on these burdens. The fact that he chooses to offer some help is proof that he loves you enough to do so despite his distaste for this kind of gift. Western men do not live in that way and feel very little financial obligation to family members. The idea of being expected to do this is repulsive to most of them. So if he is willing to help, understand that your only acceptable response is gratitude.
I’m in a relationship with a Filipina and I have watched most of your videos. This might be the best one yet! You’re 100% correct with this one! There is one thing I can think of that isn’t addressed, we don’t care what strangers think about us or other peoples opinions about us. It’s not that we don’t care but when push comes to shove it’s the ones that we care about opinions that matter. Thanks for all the great vids and by the way I love Halo halo 😂
Well put Pea. We aren't that complicated. We look for a Filipina because it is your values that hook us. We need to feel needed, respected and heard. I'm an Aussie and we are pretty direct in saying what we like and don't like. We don't have much of a filter. We seek an agreeable woman, a home maker, not a home wrecker. Loving your videos Pea.
No matter how tough us men seem to be we have a simple desire to be pampered by a good woman .Face it we can really screw things up, if left to our own devices.
It is no wonder that you have 1/4 million subs and growing, you knocked it out of the park with this one. I wish every Filipina could see this to understand the things that you have explained so well. I have lived with my Filipina wife now for almost 24 years and have had to teach her all the things you discussed here. She used to be jealous but not any more, she used to misunderstand comments and feel offended but not any more, so many things you discussed I had to teach her over the years, I wish you had done this vlog for her when we first married, it would have saved me a lot of work and hurt feelings and even a few tears. Thanks again for all your great vlogs.
Thanks so much Bruce, and if I could go back in time 24 years, I’d certainly make this video for you! Of course, at only 9 years old, my vocabulary might not be quite as advanced 🤣
Regarding tantrums they are not necessary for you to be heard or taken seriously by a western man. We want to know how you feel so that we can talk about it and come to a peaceful mutual understanding. Tantrums upset the peace we want in our homes. Possibly Filipino women should think about whether that other woman can provide a more peaceful home before launching into a tantrum. Pea, what a great video addressing what both sides need to think about.
Hi Pea, I think one key thing for women to realise when dating a foreigner is that it’s a coming together of 2 cultures. It’s in reasonable to assume that only the foreigner needs to adapt, both parties will need to adapt in order to be happy together. Communication of course is the key here, if a Filipina is offended by something her partner says she should check to make sure she has understood what he said, especially if he’s trying to communicate in her language.
you know how many times I've seen Pinay woman feel offended by miscommunication or misunderstanding? I always tell people if you don't know or understand something, ask for clarification or ask them to word it in another way so they can understand
Some tips for Filipina ladies: - Never think your values count the same if you have a western man, it's a joined effort not a single affair for you. - Having family sleep over might be no problem, however this for 1 night only unless there is a good reason. In the west we do not see family as being welcomed too much, we appreciate our independence from family and enjoying the time with our partners and kids. If someone wants to sleep over, make sure only that person comes over and not a whole horde of family members as that wasn't discussed or approved. He will send your family home otherwise. - The truth counts, not just a snippet of it or talking around the actual subject. You will be seen as dishonest and unfair, it may even lead to losing that man. Be honest with him, tell all he needs to know and don't be lazy nor beat around the bush. Your partner in western culture should be the number 1 you tell everything to and be absolutely honest to, regardless of how difficult this must be for you. Lying or leaving out details is a serious no-no and will destroy your relationship with him. - The multiple facebook and other social media accounts... Yeah that will get you removed from him real fast. It will blacklist you even permanently. For me personally, I do not accept ANY social media accounts as women love to get attention from other men which is a form of cheating. I do not condone that. - Plan B, C and whatever else.... Serious red flag and it will show you the same as a red light district worker towards that man. If you want to show you are loyal, you won't be doing this EVER. Same for the carousel ride thing, don't ever put a western man trough that. They left the west to find you because of that. Don't think you are smarter then him or the western women in that, you won't be. He got already enough experience with that very concept, you won't be fooling him for long if at all. - Don't be overly jealous, if you keep throwing those tantrums he will leave you as you proof to be useless to him. Again, western women already did that to him and part of the reason he's looking somewhere else. - His money is his money, don't try to take his money to distribute to your family for any reason. This will be seen in a very bad way and you will end up chasing him away due to your and your family's greed. He has that money to provide for your and his needs to have a decent life, this includes the kids that are biologically yours and his. That money isn't there to provide your entire family. He rather will try to teach them how to get more out of their businesses or how to get something started up then give any money at all. That isn't bad, but actually a good thing. This way they can provide for them selves as western doctrine tells people to do. What Pea says is true, show him that you can safe money and don't make it disappear so quickly. Show him you can safe for years on end making sure you have money for the future. - Bluntness is used to state clearly what is meant or what is thought. That isn't a attack on you or anyone, it's to be direct and efficient. He will expect you to do the same, tell it as it is and don't beat around the bush. Communication is key for a western man, communicate properly and there will be no problems. Communicate badly and you will be sure of a lot of problems both at that moment as in the future. It is a problem you caused by not being straight forward with him. - Humor is a very big way to bond with someone. In the west it's perfectly normal to make jokes about someone while having no bad thoughts at all. For example, "you look fat" doesn't always mean what is being said. Look at his face, if he grins or has a smile, you can be sure it's a joke and he's just teasing you a little bit with no bad intentions meant at all. If he's acting happy while saying such a thing, same thing. He doesn't mean anything bad by it, he's just joking around. If he means it, he often will make sure you know about it. - Want sex with him? Then make sure no one else is around. Western people sleep in separate bedrooms for a good reason. This so you can be a bit more wild in the bedroom with your partner without someone else in the room looking at what you're doing. If your sister sleeps in the same room for whatever dumb reason, she can expect the same treatment. He will assume she's there to have sex as well and you agreed with it. So keep her and any other family members out of the bedroom. Else you might have made a huge mistake that you can't correct anymore. You will be angry at him and he will be angry at you. Neither of you seeing eye to eye because YOU decided to have a family member in the bedroom. - Something Pea didn't mention: Western men don't want drama, it's part of why they came looking there for a man. Don't give him drama and you will be fine. Keep the drama on the TV or in your movies, he doesn't want any of that. He just wants a decent life with you, by adding drama you will disturb that and might eventually chase him away.
Incresibly well said, although as a western man I think I would be smart enough to read the cultural difference and realize if there were a family memember of my wife staying in the same room that's a cultural thing and not an invitation for a threesome. I'd put an end to that arrangement pretty quick anyway.
Pea, I now live in Cebu and have not dated yet but I appreciate this video more than you can imagine. I hope this reaches to a large female population here in the Philippines. So thank you for your efforts and being able to articulate the thoughts of a foreigner. Have a great day Pea
If dating a quality girl is your goal I would suggest to leave Cebu City and go to either Sibonga or Argao. Those towns seem a bit less 'run down' than other towns. Argao bay eco park is a fantastic place to cheaply impress women. 1500 to 2000 pesos for a fancy resort with two pools and two restaurants and spacious rooms. Public market places are a good place to socialise and look for nice girls. Many vendors are not very occupied with working but they can not leave their stands so they love to chat. Good luck man!
If dating a quality girl is your goal I would suggest to leave Cebu City and go to either Sibonga or Argao. Those towns seem a bit less 'run down' than other towns. Argao bay eco park is a fantastic place to cheaply impress women. 1500 to 2000 pesos for a fancy resort with two pools and two restaurants and spacious rooms. Public market places are a good place to socialise and look for nice girls. Many vendors are not very occupied with working but they can not leave their stands so they love to chat. Good luck man!
May I ask why you havent dated yet? I live in the Netherlands, if I lived in Cebu already I would've been dating 24/7! The women there are on a whole other level than Europe, in a GOOD way. Truly curious why you havent dated yet. Not trying to be a jerk, just interested.
@@lynic-0091 I have lived here for a very short period of time and my main objective was to see if I could live in the Philippines. If I had moved anywhere else in the world it would be my first main concern.
my cousin is in his 70's, and is a 10 years older than me. he married a philippena while he was in the army in his 20's. they've had a long, happy marriage the whole time, prolly over 50 years. i envy him. she's not very smart, but very sweet and kind, and lets him lead.
Lord have mercy. She said it right off the bat. Do NOT gloss over that first part and go into all the other things. Let's state it clearly cause this is what men want first and foremost! "A man wants the companionship of a loyal woman with an agreeable attitude!" That might be the most accurate assessment of what men truly want that has ever been spoken. And for all you folks out there who thinks agreeable means subservient, please take the time to find a dictionary and learn the difference.
Setting boundaries and creating order is important for relationships to thrive. Try to be on time and not lying is key not to waste time from a foreigners perspective. It’s best for you to find a Filipina that’s older and more mature. This way you avoid having to train them to becoming an adult.
@@TheFilipinaPea you are very mature for your age, and your the exception. I have just found a mature 42 year old Filipina, and she is perfectly aligned with my personality now, and going into the future. With age and experience good and hard times this forges the personality to a more natural character identity so that the years of trying to experiment and find ones self are done. She and I will have a 25 year age gap and I think that’s appropriate. I really like you a lot, I wish you all the best, & I’ll send a great topic for you to cover for this related subject. Look at your inbox box later today, thanks Pea
@@jameswelch1054 yes I agree being rigid isn’t the point, but respecting the others time and not letting her to be wild and use you like an ATM is what I’m referring to. When a woman see’s a weak man they take advantage of them, and even disrespect them cause of their weakness. If you allow a younger woman to control the relationship you are a Simp by definition. The whole reason to be with a mature man, is to be treated with respect and have a shared loving relationship & not to treat them like a possession, but an equal. The woman will learn rapidly in this relationship how to be mature and classy if she picks well her mate.
@@StevenThomas-mz8lb I know which type of women to avoid, so I have not run into that type very often. I think the biggest problem is often the family. Your Pinay knows you and loves you, but her family may try to use you, or overwhelm you.
What a treasure you are, Pea. With your knowledge of Filipino and Western societies, you’re a cultural ambassador for people trying to navigate the two. Keep up the excellent work. 😘
I find it incredible how well you understand the psyche of western men. Whilst we're not all exactly as you portray us, the overall description of our wants, likes, aspirations and needs is remarkably accurate - particularly as you've spent nearly all your life in the Philippines. I am sending this to a few ladies I am chatting with in the hope (but not expectation) that they will take some notice. We really must meet sometime
This was an absolute slam dunk once again P. These are exactly the type of videos that put you on the map and made you my favorite Filipino Vlogger. I’m so glad to see that you’re getting back to your roots yet evolving and expanding all the time. I’m very proud of how far you’ve come, and all the help that you’ve given me, my fiancé and all your other viewers. This is one of your best works yet. Keep up the great work and I’m looking forward to more content in the future. God bless and good health from Washington state USA.
So do not lie, treat him like a piggy bank or stepping stone for a better life, no tantrums and jealousy..sounds easy enough..good video. Cross cultural relationships are challenging.
One very important one you forgot is support him if he wants to do something.... As it is not his country and need YOUR support....you will gain from it if you are smart...
Pea, your insightful contributions are invaluable! As a westerner planning to retire and start a new life abroad, the “family first” values of the Philippine culture, for an example, has been a subject of consideration in my exploration of a potential partner and country of residence! 👏🏾👏🏾👍🏾
Miss Pea, this was one of the best videos you have ever done, and in fact anyone has ever done. To say what you did to other Filipinas, is spot on what us Foreigners are hoping for when we meet them. Of course many of us have done research, so we have some idea of the cultural differences, and most of us want to compromise. Yes we are direct, and and are always on time, which is something we both need to do, or it will never work out in a mixed relationship. Also 99% of us are not ATM’s and don’t have the means to be that way.😊
Mostly what we need is respect,loyalty, appreciation for the things we do for our partner and family. We want peace in our relationships. And healthy intimacy. Really thats it.
Pretty much nailed it. Us men are really simple creatures with simple needs. I'm looking forward to my visit to the Philippines next year, it will be my first time leaving the US on my adventures to find a retirement location. I've been consuming your content for several months now in preparation for my visit. I'm looking forward to experiencing another culture.
Thanks CS! Just send some of my videos to the women you’re planning to date and if they’re still talking to you after that, at least they’ll know that YOU know all our tricks 🤣🤣
You are going to have the time of your life … Try to go to Bohol & Palawan … Oslob in Cebu was awesome too … There are so many places to go on adventures in the Philippines … 🌎🗿™️
I'm a novelist and regard myself as something of an expert on human nature; but @theFilipinaPea is quite astonishingly knowledgeable and insightful. What a woman!
You're amazing Pea! In the last couple months I met a couple different filipinas that were "in love" with me...even met family members (including mom) via video chat. In both cases after a week or so of everything being more than perfect peculiar things would happen. Less chat with me more busy having to do other things. Finding multiple FB pages for them. Status "busy" on whatsapp but not with me and then the need for $$ for medicine that's badly needed, which I later find out is shared with another family member. You hit on so many of these things in your first 5 minutes I was speechless. And you're correct... most western guys might be giving but we're not idiots. Forget putting walls up, it's easier and safer to just pack up the boat and sail to a new harbor or different island. Thx Pea... your information is more valuable than you might know and is greatly appreciated. You are without a doubt my favorite filipina!!
You were pretty spot on! I think communication is an implied task but very important to put out there. To have such an insight into us western men, you either had to date a few or been involved with one for some time. You do a great job communicating each others cultural differences enabling both sides to better understand the other. You will make a western man a great wife and partner in crime. LOL!!! Until next time!!😊
Hello Pea. You can never go wrong with this kind of video. Both the western man and Filipina woman should realize from the start that cultural differences are to be expected but if they really love each other and want to be together, a good middle ground can be found. I realize that’s easier said than done, especially early in the relationship. For those that are in a relationship, I wish them the very best and in the end that love will truly conquer all. Have a good weekend and I look forward to your next video as I request permission to aboard the Starship Pea to arrive in a timely manner 🚀
Thanks Pea. Hopefully this video will help many foreigners who have never had a relationship with a Filipina. Mine was not in the Philippines although she was born there and had many of the traits described in this video. Some Western men are easy as they are infatuated by a young beautiful woman and her appearance and intimacy is enough at first. But pity instant karma. Down the road they will be kicking themselves in the pants. I am not in that category. I do obviously expect the first two traits of chemistry and intimacy. . But at the same time if I don't hear Gwapo or Pogi when interacting I will move on because a woman who does not find her man to be handsome to her then she will likely stray. You mentioned men are looking for a companion. But it is deeper than that. We want comfort at home. Compatibility. Great communication.. Lying and jealousy are deal breakers. Tampo is a behavior we normally encounter when a woman is using a Tampo-N. Matigas Ulo(stubborn) results in fights and arguments and this is very common in the Philippines. At night you hear dogs barking, karaoke and couples arguing. Tampo and matigas ulo are immature personality traits and if you encounter these two you need to have a talk about acceptability.. Nobody wants a pouting partner. Most foreign men don't understand the concept of Utang na Loob. The problem is everyone in the family, which means the extended family, thinks you are not only an ATM but a gold mine. This is where a foreigner and his partner must agree to what is acceptable and boundaries. Foreigners need to understand that loans are not paid back when the loan comes from the foreigner. As for sexual variety foreigners are getting luckier by the day. The Philippines is the highest consumer of porn so it is the Filipinas wanting to learn about everything. Most have never had a big O. I have been asked that question numerous times. Rather than being graphic I send them two articles where they can learn about their bodies and what provides their satisfaction. The reason is most men are also not that great in that department according to Western women. Although a taboo topic in the home in the Philippines once the train goes rolling down the tracks there is no stopping a Filipina. However with Filipinas in high school and college s.x and orgasms are a big topic when girls get together. But then come even more questions. They truly want to please the foreigner they do settle down with. One last thing. There is a great woman TH-camr Dr, Rena Malik that covers ever woman's topic in her videos. There is a wealth of information for Filipinas there covering everything involving intimacy but also everything in the urological system.
Now if we could only get Pea to teach western women these things . Ok , I tried but I won't hold my breath. Loved this one Pea. You hit everything dead center.
As always, really appreciate your content. You’re definitely not wrong, most western men are painfully simple creatures. We just want a loyal, affectionate and loyal woman. Oversimplified sure but not by much. You’re loyal to me, I’ll be loyal to you.
@@TheFilipinaPea: Because sadly women (generally speaking) are complicated people who say they want one thing but actually want the opposite and more. They say they want a good man but chase after the men who will have fun with them and leave. Men for the most part have a very short list of what they want in a woman. A man may have 5-6 things such as what I mentioned already, a woman on the other has a list longer than the Great Wall of China. If he has an Android and not an iPhone (the newest at that) it’s an automatic disqualification for example. Wears a brown belt; oh hell no. Just a couple of examples.
Excellent information as usual. I never minded my girlfriend's family being close. I never minded them staying for days at a time and doing loud karaoke until late at night. What I minded is that I was expected to support the group. An old parent with no money and no ability to earn. At least one child, frequently in trouble, with seemingly no ability to earn. At least one child's spouse with little to no ability to earn. I loved their families. I just refused to be an ATM machine for the family and that was always a problem.
Thank you Pea! I think you articulated many of the concerns that we have when facing the cultural divide. In the end I think it’s important to understand that we love, respect and cherish each other; even if we might express that differently. For me it has been the shocking resemblance to an ATM that I have occasionally come to experience. However, finding a Pina that is conservative with OUR money is a treasure. Please continue with videos like this!
Well Sweetpea you've done it again. An intellectual, cultural and emotional journey that feels like a perpetual bonding honeymoon. Killing it with the innuendos and then topping it off with Star Trek. We're putty in your hands. Thank you and have a blessed weekend. 🤗
1. Let us live our lives...like watch our sports, pursue our hobby without complaining or bothering us & let us do what makes us happy. Then we will promise not to complain to you about your interests & let you do what makes you happy. 2. We like daily affection by words or touch. It makes us feel wanted & needed. 3. Men see a marriage as a team. You're on our side. Support your own not challenge us.
I've been married to a Filipina for 19 years. She's NEVER been the jealous type. She's extremely confident. Makes more 💵 than I do and still takes care of me. Gives me no drama whatsoever! 💯 👍🏾
It should actually be an advantage for you if some are scared away, so that finally only these men remain who are interested in an intelligent woman on eye level. :)
I think they tend to want the naive or uneducated to avoid the pitfalls you just described in the video. If they knew you and knew those didn't exist with all that you have to offer as well.....perfection is the result! @@TheFilipinaPea
@@TheFilipinaPeathat is sad, unfortunately there are some men who are dumb and can't handle an intelligent woman, but that is a sign of immaturity. A real relationship is about facing the future together and that means being equally yoked for a common goal. It isn't about being the same, it is about completing each other so you are both happy. Unfortunately there are many people who have not yet grown up despite being older and waste time. The only thing you can do is minimize your time with those people and move on.
The primary difference I see between Philippines and western culture is that the Philippines has the culture of paying back your parents and grandparents for the effort they put in raising you, whereas western culture is one of paying forward that effort by raising your own kids and helping to raise your grandkids. There’s less expectation that your children take care of you in your old age. This disparity in cultures creates friction when the western husband sees his Filipina wife expending her time and his resources on her extended family. Time and resources he expects to invest into his children.
Yeah. There are merits to both strategies. In the paying back strategy, the next generation has less resources to start out, potentially hindering productivity, in the paying forward model the contrary. However, the paying forward model discourages having children to a much greater extent when economic means are limited.
@@LMason-rx9xy I think the pay forward strategy takes pressure off people, allowing them to pursue higher education and higher paying careers before having their own children (and thus loading up on expenses). This allows a society's productivity and innovation to thrive, such that there becomes a bigger pie from which everyone can get a slice. The downside is the degradation of family structure. It took about three generations from the America of the 1940s and 50s with strong family values to evolve into the unmitigated disaster we seem to have today. Was all that extra innovation and productivity worth it? Hard question to answer.
Been dating a Filipino woman for over 6 months. Your pretty much 100% correct. Her jealousy drives me up a wall, also her needed to know everything im doing and needing to be with me 24/7 on video call 😂. Its ok for her to do things, but when i do the same stuff its not ok. 😊
I was with one that was like that for over 2 years. If you're thinking that it will improve over time, it won't. It never did with my ex. I finally dumped her and am much happier because I found someone that allows me my freedom and we get along great. Take it from someone that went through it, you will be glad if you move on.
@billbradley5296 no one knows her here. Judging a book by its cover. If she is a playgirl. Plenty of other women in Philippines that would love a chance with a foreigner like me. I'm faithful,loyal,kind, stable job.
Add "no hymen - no diamond" to the list and if you are overall healthy looking then you 99% can be guaranteed to find a decent man from the west. there is a saying - "Women care about man's future, but men care about a woman's past". This should not be underestimated and overlooked.
@@paulk8444 Do not underestimate or discredit your own abilities. If you get a slight hint at any point that something’s off - then call the whole thing off and move on etc. Most guys ignore that gut instinct and dismiss it as “overthinking” etc, which is one of the first and most fatal mistakes they make, everything else eventually follows that one step.
This woman is spot on. Normally as a man when i hear woman talk about men with these topics and what they want it's always laughable but this is absolutely spot on. So we'll researched.
Really close to 100% accurate. Western men want to be accepted, acknowledged, and appreciated just as you said. One vast cultural difference is humor, particularly sarcasm, which almost doesn’t exist in some places and can get you into trouble quickly.
I can definitely say that Filipino women inherently know the value of warmth and necessity of the family dynamic. It’s actively been severed in the US. Even on the friend level there is a realness. And for the men dating these lovely women, treat them right because it’s true of the culture when it’s said they can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You get what you give. Love your channel
I live and grew up in America. Most people who don't live in North America have no idea how much men actually work. They also don't understand the competition in a work environment in America. Most American men HAVE to choose work over family. American workers get 40 hours of vacation a year on average. Most Americans work 60 hours a week. Most factories do not allow more than 3 "sick" days a year. Family means a lot to American men. We give up time with our wife and children to provide for them. We don't want our in-laws to suffer hard times. We also are reluctant to financially support them instead of our wife and children. I have seen a fair amount of relationships fail because the foreign lady kept sending financial resources to help her family. The discussion of how money should be used is crucial in a relationship.
I've worked my butt off. I'm 65 now but money is not the most important thing in the world. God blesses me every day. I put my trust in God to provide for me. I enjoy spending money on my wife. I buy stuff from my wife to send to her family in the Philippines
I don't know about other men, you got me figured out 95%. The 5% is that I need some 'me' time. My asian partner always wants to know, where I am, what I am doing, and even what I am thinking. For me spending some time alone means to reconcile some thoughts, flush out the ones I don't need, and that's it. I may do that while I go for a walk etc. But I need to be alone once in awhile.
Men (typically): 1. Sexual Fulfilment 2. Recreational Companionship 3. An Attractive Spouse 4. Domestic Support 5. Admiration Women (typically): 1. Affection 2. Conversation 3. Honesty and Openness 4. Financial Commitment 5. Family Commitment From "His Needs, Her Needs", based on a survey of American couples c 1980.
A friend of mine said it best when a girlfriend of hers asked how to keep her partner faithful. She said "the secret to a happy relationship? Clean house, dirty wife, full stomach, empty balls" honestly, a loyal woman who attends to her mans needs is all we need. It's hard for another woman to steal your man as long as you're taking care of his needs properly.
✈✈✈Impressive to see a young lady articulated an understanding of Western men. If more Filipinas visited the U.S., they would understand our organizational, practical demeanor is indoctrinated in our way of life, such as how serious we are about our traffic rules, courtesy when shopping and/or lines, etiquette and TRYING to live our life with grace. Being married in the U.S. to a Filipina for 17 years, it was a struggle to get my wife to not push ahead in lines, be on time everywhere and to stop acting like she was fighting for the last piece of lumpia against the world and to understand investments and savings are for the future, not in one hand and out the other.✈✈✈
As an American guy married to a Malaysian, I enjoy this channel for the similarities and parallels. On the topic of the difference between family dynamics, I'll just add my experience. I bonded with her family well enough, we both agree on the importance of family, but as she came here to America for the marriage, and we've been together 7 years, her family stays in touch regularly, and visits when they can, but she's been taken back by my family. They accepted her readily, and still care for her, but she's for whatever reason, not really connected with them, and has reached the point where she doesn't really want to spend time with or build relationships with my family, and it's one of the biggest things that bothers me, as like I've said, I also believe family is everything, but she just won't bond with my family the way I have with hers. I wish I could be sharing a solution, but I haven't found one yet. Just sharing an experience and something to be aware of. Because of how developed Malaysia is, there wasn't as much of culture difference when she came here, but the difference in family dynamics is what caught her off guard and lead to lots of fights. Still trying to find a way to fix it. Any advice is welcome.
Family dynamics can be the most wonderful or the most extremely difficult things in life! I don't have any specific advice, but I hope your situation is able to improve.
@@The1stGurehaundo no, both of us follow the same faith though, as do both of our families, so from my perspective, it's pretty much purely personal, which is both good and bad I guess. Thank you.
For a Western man, this video was very educational. As a list of what difficulties are likely to develop in a relationship with a Filipina. And hints on how to deal with them. Thanks! Your classic Star Trek clips are gold too! You really know your target audience. 😉
Ooooh Pea, you hit the nail on the head with something you said... It reminded me of the first Filipina I ever dated. She acted one way in front of me, but was totally different on the FaceBook pages she had. After discovering those FaceBook pages and seeing how much trash she really was, it was over. Be real, or be gone. By the way, Pea... the ads that pop up in the middle of your videos would be much easier to tolerate if they were in a language I could understand.
I'm a long time fan of Pea so no trolling here , I'm not sure we men are quite as simple as some women seam to think but yes those are the basics and something to work with . As usual dear Pea hit the mark so many times , in this vid , i have to say coming from the west and I mean this sincerely, hearing a woman just considering a mans wants and needs in relationship is so nice to hear so thank you Pea .
The true beauty of any woman is HER IDENTITY - strength, wisdom, ambition, honesty, inspiration. I’m afraid I don’t see much room for HER on this list… am I missing something? May we never forsake the chance to also know and foster HER dreams, aspirations, insights, fantasies, delights! True compatibility welcomes BOTH people to stand on their own two feet as they daily choose to walk side by side. 💗
This video should be a, required to see, Public Service Announcement! Thank you for describing an ideal partner. The Star Trek bit was very clever. As a big fan myself it really tickled me.
I hope every filipina girl thinking like you, but some don’t understand or don’t care about us as a foreigners. Thank you gorgeous.❤ Actually that dress match perfectly with your beautiful skin color. I love it.
Pea, you have clearly identified the problems and I congratulate you ! That is why I appreciate your channel, you document yourself, you dig to obtain relevant information that reflects our differences in order to create bridges between West and Southeast Asia. Your content brings freshness, quality and honest information ! Keep it up !
you have no idea what you have done, so close to the truth,i get emotional just you are exactly right.. this video should be bronze and put on a tablet in stone, you have no idea how correct you are, but you are Filipina pea, you know my culture, i humbly appreciate you content. you have the first few chapters of the American manual... the best video you could have created. i`m sharing this with everyone!!!!! keep up the great work.
Wow, I’m starting to become a real fan!! I’m an American in Southern California… My wife of 37 years was Filipina and passed away in 2021… I’m hoping to find another Filipina queen to be by my side.. I find your knowledge of American western men to be spot on… It’s nice to be understood.. Thanks for your content you are a delight🌹
👋🏾PEA! 👏🏾U Nail this one right on the head!💯💯And if and when I ever have a Filipina as my woman like when I come to Cebu this month Nov 18th Lord Willin from US, I will be sure to let her watch this episode thank U for always speaking up for the Western Men & keep Us informed it's greatly appreciate!💯👌🏾LOVE U & Ur Content!💯😁
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Never live that close to family that they can stop by anytime. Leave some distance so they can come by now and then but not so close they want to stop by every weekend.
The foreigners need to be honest also upfront we are not rich. I told my Filipina I was considered some what low income or poor for California standards do to the cost of living when we was just starting to date. She never asked for money. I think I was a lucky one. She said it was okay because she is Filipina and is use to struggle and most importantly we there for each and love each other.
Pea '@ 4:21 "Don't lie." As you said We are not stupid. My last Thai fiancée supposedly was going to her local town to buy a dress for the Thai wedding which was to happen the next month when I returned. I'd already processed the K-1 visa paperwork and all that was required was a trip to do the interview in Bangkok. I'd provided her with a duplicate Paypal card which attached to my account. (I trusted her with controlling spending to those things really needed.)
She apparently didn't realize I could see every purchase including location. When there appeared a purchase in a town in another province far enough away to preclude a one day trip I questioned it. Our method of contact was though her identical twin sister's laptop. Sis was a teacher. Both sisters lived at home with her parents.
Sister told me my fiancée had been gone a couple days, and neither she or their parents knew where she went. I asked about the location which showed up on Paypal. That town was where my fiancée's previous Thai boyfriend lived. It certainly wasn't the local dressmakers shop. That very day her Paypal card was cancelled, and the visa process was cancelled. I'd already heard her lie to her parents about other things. (Being fluent in Thai was key to that.)
The point girls is don't lie to an American man who has decades of life experience. We are not stupid, and won't put up with a liar.
Filipina JEALOUSLY is an issue for us
@@thebigmann81 Generally you can work that out with your Pinay GF, she will want your time, more than your money. The problem is more often with the family, who will look at you as a bank.
1. Respect 2. Loyalty 3. Peace 4. Sex 5. Honesty...
it's really that simple.
@tsieppy nah... 3 is good. Respect and being my peace are far more important, followed by loyalty and sex if we are ranking them in order.
1. Respect
2. Peace
3. Honesty
4. Loyalty
5. Sex
(bonuses) keep the belly full and the house clean
1. Communication, 2. Being Honest, 3. Loyalty, 4. Respect, 5. Sex, 6. Peace.
I added one & rearranged yours. Hope you like? 😊
@@martyb4815 your list is your list, if that is what works for you
Do tell. I can cook better than most women, I’m capable of operating the machines in the laundry room, I really don’t put many demands on a companion. I doubt that I’m unique.
@TheMadMonk9 nice to see you around and exploring things for future content...
A man wants a woman who doesn't get on his nerves. That is so hard to find in the West.
This woman is a genius
I tend to agree.
Do not tell feminists what a real man wants. Her lifestyle is completely not what he is looking for.
Good food, good affection, good financial management. Good morals, good mothering.
Loyalty, honesty and affection go a long way with a man.
Absolutely! It’s so basic and yet so hard to find 😳🥺
omg , your like a woman
And virgin
And femininity
If you want loyalty, honesty, and affection you should show the same to women.
Pea, you are one of a kind. You are correct in everything you said. If western women followed your advice - 1. Respect 2. Loyalty 3. Peace 4. Sex 5. Honesty There would be no Passport Bros.
do you have a passport
So true
Amen !
Yep. Is so. I found my girl in Indonesia. Am happy like never before!
Dude western women don’t need men like those men who goes to Philippine first thing first what is their professional or what is their qualifications what type of career they have are jobs that they can hold down a career women this is them down fall every good woman needs a good man but they as to have something dude and that’s were class come in,dude Philippine women don’t have class education or any qualifications or career skills to even help themselves properly so men like you passport dude come in pension and bloggers.
This is very very good advice. Even Western girls should listen.
Pea, you are 100% correct about everything you said! You really understand Western men!
When we are back in the states for my 6 month work stint, wife still has coffee ready for me before I leave for work at 5am and dinner ready when I get home, I in return will wash the dishes and walk the dog. yep, I am very simple, and in the brain too. 15th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks
WOW, Ron - just wow ❤️❤️❤️👍
Congrats on 15 years, mate! And you are right: It's the simple things, done without asking or being asked, that show your love and respect for your partner.
@@thomashauguel6811 Thank you Sir
You were 98% right in everything you said about us foreigners. You are so brilliant at your research. I only hope and pray that Filipina's watch and learn from you.
What was 2% she missed?
Not all men are the same. Personally, I'm a gentleman. But I haven't experienced her ideas of bedroom activities. That's my 2%. Nobody is perfect. Pea is close... But there again. It's only 2% @@pakviroti3616
Nailed it!! Not much more needed. Spot on! ❤ Not asking for a culture change just no drama… ❤
It seems so easy, right? 🥺
I don’t understand why women don’t understand!
@@TheFilipinaPea Because Men are Literal Thinking creatures and Women are Feeling Interpretative ones that sometimes speak in tongues or some Alien language but it is a complimentary mix
If you are a Filipina who expects her new rich western husband to "help" your massive family with frequent deposits into the bank of "That Money is Gone Forever", you need to be VERY honest about exactly what you expect and you need to be willing to accept something less than what you think that black hole needs. But most importantly, once you come to an agreement on this, NEVER deviate to get more and strive for ways for him to receive some form of consideration in advance. Never guilt trip him about what he does offer. The reality is that no man wants to take on these burdens. The fact that he chooses to offer some help is proof that he loves you enough to do so despite his distaste for this kind of gift. Western men do not live in that way and feel very little financial obligation to family members. The idea of being expected to do this is repulsive to most of them. So if he is willing to help, understand that your only acceptable response is gratitude.
I’m in a relationship with a Filipina and I have watched most of your videos. This might be the best one yet! You’re 100% correct with this one! There is one thing I can think of that isn’t addressed, we don’t care what strangers think about us or other peoples opinions about us. It’s not that we don’t care but when push comes to shove it’s the ones that we care about opinions that matter. Thanks for all the great vids and by the way I love Halo halo 😂
Have you watched Miss Pea's videos with your Filipina GF? She might benefit, especially this one.
Well put Pea. We aren't that complicated. We look for a Filipina because it is your values that hook us. We need to feel needed, respected and heard. I'm an Aussie and we are pretty direct in saying what we like and don't like. We don't have much of a filter. We seek an agreeable woman, a home maker, not a home wrecker. Loving your videos Pea.
Then you’re the exact kind of person I was referring to! Good on ya, mate! 🤣
Perfect.
😢
Slavs are even more direct, even brutally honest. There is much to be said for not bearing around the bush and saying what is really on one's mind.
CAUSE ITS SO DARN COLD where you are from -- ha ha ha -- good on your Mate -- enjoy the PH bro :) @@taras3702
No matter how tough us men seem to be we have a simple desire to be pampered by a good woman .Face it we can really screw things up, if left to our own devices.
And we don’t want to leave you to your own devices - we want to see those devices too! 🤣🤣🤣
Painfully true! 🤣
It is no wonder that you have 1/4 million subs and growing, you knocked it out of the park with this one. I wish every Filipina could see this to understand the things that you have explained so well. I have lived with my Filipina wife now for almost 24 years and have had to teach her all the things you discussed here. She used to be jealous but not any more, she used to misunderstand comments and feel offended but not any more, so many things you discussed I had to teach her over the years, I wish you had done this vlog for her when we first married, it would have saved me a lot of work and hurt feelings and even a few tears. Thanks again for all your great vlogs.
Thanks so much Bruce, and if I could go back in time 24 years, I’d certainly make this video for you! Of course, at only 9 years old, my vocabulary might not be quite as advanced 🤣
Laugh with me, enjoy our time together, don’t be overweight, bring me food, have good conversation together. This is enough for me.
Lady….you are a genius!! You understand more than any woman I’ve ever met.
Regarding tantrums they are not necessary for you to be heard or taken seriously by a western man. We want to know how you feel so that we can talk about it and come to a peaceful mutual understanding. Tantrums upset the peace we want in our homes. Possibly Filipino women should think about whether that other woman can provide a more peaceful home before launching into a tantrum. Pea, what a great video addressing what both sides need to think about.
Hi Pea, I think one key thing for women to realise when dating a foreigner is that it’s a coming together of 2 cultures. It’s in reasonable to assume that only the foreigner needs to adapt, both parties will need to adapt in order to be happy together.
Communication of course is the key here, if a Filipina is offended by something her partner says she should check to make sure she has understood what he said, especially if he’s trying to communicate in her language.
That's so common sense... but remember she plays as a local. Your culture is in you, her culture is everywhere and acts as a mold to her reactions.
Yes, and that’s a common Achilles heel for a Filipino - we often take immediate offense at anything we don’t understand 🥺
you know how many times I've seen Pinay woman feel offended by miscommunication or misunderstanding? I always tell people if you don't know or understand something, ask for clarification or ask them to word it in another way so they can understand
@@TheFilipinaPeathat’s why communication is key👍🏼
This is so true Andrew, even in a social setting. Having Asian co workers around, it was imperative that what is said is clealy understood.
What I want is simple.
Respect, honestly, loyalty, understanding, acceptance, love and sex.
OMG the outro on this one is GOLD 11/10 dying from laughter 🤣
I am a retired therapist married to a Filipino almost 18 years. Your video in excellent! Extremely valuable and insightful. Well done!
You are spot on Pea. There is also a responsibility though on Western men to find Filipino women who can understand your messages.
Thanks, Jon! And yes, I guess that’s the tricky part 👍😊
Some tips for Filipina ladies:
- Never think your values count the same if you have a western man, it's a joined effort not a single affair for you.
- Having family sleep over might be no problem, however this for 1 night only unless there is a good reason. In the west we do not see family as being welcomed too much, we appreciate our independence from family and enjoying the time with our partners and kids. If someone wants to sleep over, make sure only that person comes over and not a whole horde of family members as that wasn't discussed or approved. He will send your family home otherwise.
- The truth counts, not just a snippet of it or talking around the actual subject. You will be seen as dishonest and unfair, it may even lead to losing that man. Be honest with him, tell all he needs to know and don't be lazy nor beat around the bush. Your partner in western culture should be the number 1 you tell everything to and be absolutely honest to, regardless of how difficult this must be for you. Lying or leaving out details is a serious no-no and will destroy your relationship with him.
- The multiple facebook and other social media accounts... Yeah that will get you removed from him real fast. It will blacklist you even permanently. For me personally, I do not accept ANY social media accounts as women love to get attention from other men which is a form of cheating. I do not condone that.
- Plan B, C and whatever else.... Serious red flag and it will show you the same as a red light district worker towards that man. If you want to show you are loyal, you won't be doing this EVER. Same for the carousel ride thing, don't ever put a western man trough that. They left the west to find you because of that. Don't think you are smarter then him or the western women in that, you won't be. He got already enough experience with that very concept, you won't be fooling him for long if at all.
- Don't be overly jealous, if you keep throwing those tantrums he will leave you as you proof to be useless to him. Again, western women already did that to him and part of the reason he's looking somewhere else.
- His money is his money, don't try to take his money to distribute to your family for any reason. This will be seen in a very bad way and you will end up chasing him away due to your and your family's greed. He has that money to provide for your and his needs to have a decent life, this includes the kids that are biologically yours and his. That money isn't there to provide your entire family. He rather will try to teach them how to get more out of their businesses or how to get something started up then give any money at all. That isn't bad, but actually a good thing. This way they can provide for them selves as western doctrine tells people to do. What Pea says is true, show him that you can safe money and don't make it disappear so quickly. Show him you can safe for years on end making sure you have money for the future.
- Bluntness is used to state clearly what is meant or what is thought. That isn't a attack on you or anyone, it's to be direct and efficient. He will expect you to do the same, tell it as it is and don't beat around the bush. Communication is key for a western man, communicate properly and there will be no problems. Communicate badly and you will be sure of a lot of problems both at that moment as in the future. It is a problem you caused by not being straight forward with him.
- Humor is a very big way to bond with someone. In the west it's perfectly normal to make jokes about someone while having no bad thoughts at all. For example, "you look fat" doesn't always mean what is being said. Look at his face, if he grins or has a smile, you can be sure it's a joke and he's just teasing you a little bit with no bad intentions meant at all. If he's acting happy while saying such a thing, same thing. He doesn't mean anything bad by it, he's just joking around. If he means it, he often will make sure you know about it.
- Want sex with him? Then make sure no one else is around. Western people sleep in separate bedrooms for a good reason. This so you can be a bit more wild in the bedroom with your partner without someone else in the room looking at what you're doing. If your sister sleeps in the same room for whatever dumb reason, she can expect the same treatment. He will assume she's there to have sex as well and you agreed with it. So keep her and any other family members out of the bedroom. Else you might have made a huge mistake that you can't correct anymore. You will be angry at him and he will be angry at you. Neither of you seeing eye to eye because YOU decided to have a family member in the bedroom.
- Something Pea didn't mention: Western men don't want drama, it's part of why they came looking there for a man. Don't give him drama and you will be fine. Keep the drama on the TV or in your movies, he doesn't want any of that. He just wants a decent life with you, by adding drama you will disturb that and might eventually chase him away.
Well said
Right on point !!
Incresibly well said, although as a western man I think I would be smart enough to read the cultural difference and realize if there were a family memember of my wife staying in the same room that's a cultural thing and not an invitation for a threesome. I'd put an end to that arrangement pretty quick anyway.
Pea, I now live in Cebu and have not dated yet but I appreciate this video more than you can imagine. I hope this reaches to a large female population here in the Philippines. So thank you for your efforts and being able to articulate the thoughts of a foreigner. Have a great day Pea
If dating a quality girl is your goal I would suggest to leave Cebu City and go to either Sibonga or Argao. Those towns seem a bit less 'run down' than other towns. Argao bay eco park is a fantastic place to cheaply impress women. 1500 to 2000 pesos for a fancy resort with two pools and two restaurants and spacious rooms. Public market places are a good place to socialise and look for nice girls. Many vendors are not very occupied with working but they can not leave their stands so they love to chat.
Good luck man!
If dating a quality girl is your goal I would suggest to leave Cebu City and go to either Sibonga or Argao. Those towns seem a bit less 'run down' than other towns. Argao bay eco park is a fantastic place to cheaply impress women. 1500 to 2000 pesos for a fancy resort with two pools and two restaurants and spacious rooms. Public market places are a good place to socialise and look for nice girls. Many vendors are not very occupied with working but they can not leave their stands so they love to chat.
Good luck man!
May I ask why you havent dated yet? I live in the Netherlands, if I lived in Cebu already I would've been dating 24/7! The women there are on a whole other level than Europe, in a GOOD way.
Truly curious why you havent dated yet. Not trying to be a jerk, just interested.
@@lynic-0091 I have lived here for a very short period of time and my main objective was to see if I could live in the Philippines. If I had moved anywhere else in the world it would be my first main concern.
my cousin is in his 70's, and is a 10 years older than me. he married a philippena while he was in the army in his 20's. they've had a long, happy marriage the whole time, prolly over 50 years. i envy him. she's not very smart, but very sweet and kind, and lets him lead.
Lord have mercy. She said it right off the bat. Do NOT gloss over that first part and go into all the other things. Let's state it clearly cause this is what men want first and foremost! "A man wants the companionship of a loyal woman with an agreeable attitude!" That might be the most accurate assessment of what men truly want that has ever been spoken. And for all you folks out there who thinks agreeable means subservient, please take the time to find a dictionary and learn the difference.
Setting boundaries and creating order is important for relationships to thrive. Try to be on time and not lying is key not to waste time from a foreigners perspective. It’s best for you to find a Filipina that’s older and more mature. This way you avoid having to train them to becoming an adult.
How old will I have to be before you’ll consider me, Steven? 🥺🤣
@@TheFilipinaPea you are very mature for your age, and your the exception. I have just found a mature 42 year old Filipina, and she is perfectly aligned with my personality now, and going into the future. With age and experience good and hard times this forges the personality to a more natural character identity so that the years of trying to experiment and find ones self are done. She and I will have a 25 year age gap and I think that’s appropriate. I really like you a lot, I wish you all the best, & I’ll send a great topic for you to cover for this related subject. Look at your inbox box later today, thanks Pea
You made some good points, but it is also important for the man not to be too controlling.
@@jameswelch1054 yes I agree being rigid isn’t the point, but respecting the others time and not letting her to be wild and use you like an ATM is what I’m referring to. When a woman see’s a weak man they take advantage of them, and even disrespect them cause of their weakness. If you allow a younger woman to control the relationship you are a Simp by definition. The whole reason to be with a mature man, is to be treated with respect and have a shared loving relationship & not to treat them like a possession, but an equal. The woman will learn rapidly in this relationship how to be mature and classy if she picks well her mate.
@@StevenThomas-mz8lb I know which type of women to avoid, so I have not run into that type very often. I think the biggest problem is often the family. Your Pinay knows you and loves you, but her family may try to use you, or overwhelm you.
What a treasure you are, Pea. With your knowledge of Filipino and Western societies, you’re a cultural ambassador for people trying to navigate the two.
Keep up the excellent work. 😘
Glad to see your still making good content!
Glad you still enjoy it! ❤️❤️👍
Respect, loyalty, honesty, communication, love, intimacy
Yeah we want honesty the most. No one wants to be played the fool.
I find it incredible how well you understand the psyche of western men. Whilst we're not all exactly as you portray us, the overall description of our wants, likes, aspirations and needs is remarkably accurate - particularly as you've spent nearly all your life in the Philippines. I am sending this to a few ladies I am chatting with in the hope (but not expectation) that they will take some notice. We really must meet sometime
Its not magic. The world runs on generalizations. And on average all men are the same and all women are the same with minor differences.
Beautifully done Pea 😊 Like you said, we're simple creatures. We're in the business of giving and receiving 🙏🏾❤🙂
And you’re wonderful simple creatures, too 😊
This was an absolute slam dunk once again P. These are exactly the type of videos that put you on the map and made you my favorite Filipino Vlogger. I’m so glad to see that you’re getting back to your roots yet evolving and expanding all the time. I’m very proud of how far you’ve come, and all the help that you’ve given me, my fiancé and all your other viewers. This is one of your best works yet. Keep up the great work and I’m looking forward to more content in the future. God bless and good health from Washington state USA.
So do not lie, treat him like a piggy bank or stepping stone for a better life, no tantrums and jealousy..sounds easy enough..good video. Cross cultural relationships are challenging.
One very important one you forgot is support him if he wants to do something.... As it is not his country and need YOUR support....you will gain from it if you are smart...
Pea, your insightful contributions are invaluable! As a westerner planning to retire and start a new life abroad, the “family first” values of the Philippine culture, for an example, has been a subject of consideration in my exploration of a potential partner and country of residence! 👏🏾👏🏾👍🏾
ohhh your a target
My ultimate advice - date an orphan 🤣🤣
@@TheFilipinaPea 🤣🤣🤣
@@TheFilipinaPeaOMG, that is HYSTERICAL. 😆😂🤣 Love that! 😃
All us men want is our own Pea that looks and acts just like you Beautiful!!
Love you Pea❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
But I burp a lot 🤣🤣
@@TheFilipinaPea OMG me too, it’s rediculous
I’m voting for Pea clones too be mass produced so that all men can live happily ever after!!!
Is that during SEX, or after?@@TheFilipinaPea
@@kendonius4928 she seems like the perfect woman to me, and amazingly beautiful as a bonus!
Miss Pea, this was one of the best videos you have ever done, and in fact anyone has ever done. To say what you did to other Filipinas, is spot on what us Foreigners are hoping for when we meet them. Of course many of us have done research, so we have some idea of the cultural differences, and most of us want to compromise. Yes we are direct, and and are always on time, which is something we both need to do, or it will never work out in a mixed relationship. Also 99% of us are not ATM’s and don’t have the means to be that way.😊
Kindness, calm attitude, quick smile. Those are my big three.
Great information my 4 year relationship ended from exactly what you said ☺️
Mostly what we need is respect,loyalty, appreciation for the things we do for our partner and family. We want peace in our relationships. And healthy intimacy. Really thats it.
It takes a brilliant mind to take key cultural concepts and state them in such simple terms. You're awesome! Keep doing great things. 👍
Pretty much nailed it. Us men are really simple creatures with simple needs. I'm looking forward to my visit to the Philippines next year, it will be my first time leaving the US on my adventures to find a retirement location. I've been consuming your content for several months now in preparation for my visit. I'm looking forward to experiencing another culture.
Thanks CS! Just send some of my videos to the women you’re planning to date and if they’re still talking to you after that, at least they’ll know that YOU know all our tricks 🤣🤣
You are going to have the time of your life … Try to go to Bohol & Palawan … Oslob in Cebu was awesome too … There are so many places to go on adventures in the Philippines … 🌎🗿™️
I'm a novelist and regard myself as something of an expert on human nature; but @theFilipinaPea is quite astonishingly knowledgeable and insightful. What a woman!
You're amazing Pea! In the last couple months I met a couple different filipinas that were "in love" with me...even met family members (including mom) via video chat. In both cases after a week or so of everything being more than perfect peculiar things would happen. Less chat with me more busy having to do other things. Finding multiple FB pages for them. Status "busy" on whatsapp but not with me and then the need for $$ for medicine that's badly needed, which I later find out is shared with another family member. You hit on so many of these things in your first 5 minutes I was speechless. And you're correct... most western guys might be giving but we're not idiots. Forget putting walls up, it's easier and safer to just pack up the boat and sail to a new harbor or different island. Thx Pea... your information is more valuable than you might know and is greatly appreciated. You are without a doubt my favorite filipina!!
You were pretty spot on! I think communication is an implied task but very important to put out there.
To have such an insight into us western men, you either had to date a few or been involved with one for some time. You do a great job communicating each others cultural differences enabling both sides to better understand the other. You will make a western man a great wife and partner in crime. LOL!!! Until next time!!😊
Yes, I did date western men after I became an adult, so that helped give me a little insight 👍😊
Hello Pea. You can never go wrong with this kind of video. Both the western man and Filipina woman should realize from the start that cultural differences are to be expected but if they really love each other and want to be together, a good middle ground can be found. I realize that’s easier said than done, especially early in the relationship. For those that are in a relationship, I wish them the very best and in the end that love will truly conquer all. Have a good weekend and I look forward to your next video as I request permission to aboard the Starship Pea to arrive in a timely manner 🚀
Thanks Pea. Hopefully this video will help many foreigners who have never had a relationship with a Filipina. Mine was not in the Philippines although she was born there and had many of the traits described in this video. Some Western men are easy as they are infatuated by a young beautiful woman and her appearance and intimacy is enough at first. But pity instant karma. Down the road they will be kicking themselves in the pants. I am not in that category. I do obviously expect the first two traits of chemistry and intimacy. . But at the same time if I don't hear Gwapo or Pogi when interacting I will move on because a woman who does not find her man to be handsome to her then she will likely stray. You mentioned men are looking for a companion. But it is deeper than that. We want comfort at home. Compatibility. Great communication.. Lying and jealousy are deal breakers. Tampo is a behavior we normally encounter when a woman is using a Tampo-N. Matigas Ulo(stubborn) results in fights and arguments and this is very common in the Philippines. At night you hear dogs barking, karaoke and couples arguing. Tampo and matigas ulo are immature personality traits and if you encounter these two you need to have a talk about acceptability.. Nobody wants a pouting partner. Most foreign men don't understand the concept of Utang na Loob. The problem is everyone in the family, which means the extended family, thinks you are not only an ATM but a gold mine. This is where a foreigner and his partner must agree to what is acceptable and boundaries. Foreigners need to understand that loans are not paid back when the loan comes from the foreigner. As for sexual variety foreigners are getting luckier by the day. The Philippines is the highest consumer of porn so it is the Filipinas wanting to learn about everything. Most have never had a big O. I have been asked that question numerous times. Rather than being graphic I send them two articles where they can learn about their bodies and what provides their satisfaction. The reason is most men are also not that great in that department according to Western women. Although a taboo topic in the home in the Philippines once the train goes rolling down the tracks there is no stopping a Filipina. However with Filipinas in high school and college s.x and orgasms are a big topic when girls get together. But then come even more questions. They truly want to please the foreigner they do settle down with. One last thing. There is a great woman TH-camr Dr, Rena Malik that covers ever woman's topic in her videos. There is a wealth of information for Filipinas there covering everything involving intimacy but also everything in the urological system.
Yup, all true 👍👍
What are the two articles please
The Star Trek ending was fantastic, loved it!
Now if we could only get Pea to teach western women these things .
Ok , I tried but I won't hold my breath.
Loved this one Pea. You hit everything dead center.
There's nothing a man desires more than to be needed. Once a man feels as if he's not needed, he falls apart.
And that’s why the phrase “I don’t need no man” is so self-defeating 😳
this is very true. I need my woman to need me. Otherwise I'm gone.
This is so true 😢
Needed is important, but respect in a relationship is essential to most men I know. If a woman demeans me, I lose all interest in them outright.
As always, really appreciate your content. You’re definitely not wrong, most western men are painfully simple creatures. We just want a loyal, affectionate and loyal woman. Oversimplified sure but not by much. You’re loyal to me, I’ll be loyal to you.
It really does seem to be that simple - so why is it so difficult for women to provide those few reasonable things? 😳
@@TheFilipinaPea: Because sadly women (generally speaking) are complicated people who say they want one thing but actually want the opposite and more. They say they want a good man but chase after the men who will have fun with them and leave.
Men for the most part have a very short list of what they want in a woman. A man may have 5-6 things such as what I mentioned already, a woman on the other has a list longer than the Great Wall of China. If he has an Android and not an iPhone (the newest at that) it’s an automatic disqualification for example. Wears a brown belt; oh hell no.
Just a couple of examples.
This is gonna be good!! Happy Friday, Wonderful girl! Thanks for giving us Western men some credit!
We aren’t used to much of that. It’s nice!
You guys don’t get near enough consideration, no 😳
It’s just such a nice thing. Thank you!
It's truly a breath of fresh air to hear to speak about men. In America, I've never been more alone or felt useless
Excellent information as usual. I never minded my girlfriend's family being close. I never minded them staying for days at a time and doing loud karaoke until late at night. What I minded is that I was expected to support the group. An old parent with no money and no ability to earn. At least one child, frequently in trouble, with seemingly no ability to earn. At least one child's spouse with little to no ability to earn. I loved their families. I just refused to be an ATM machine for the family and that was always a problem.
1.respected 2.loved 3.honored 4. Sex 5.loyalty 6.peace and serenity 7.comunication. 8. Delicious food
You forgot meals/food.
@@worthmor your right I forgot the most important thing
Thank you Pea!
I think you articulated many of the concerns that we have when facing the cultural divide.
In the end I think it’s important to understand that we love, respect and cherish each other; even if we might express that differently.
For me it has been the shocking resemblance to an ATM that I have occasionally come to experience. However, finding a Pina that is conservative with OUR money is a treasure.
Please continue with videos like this!
Well Sweetpea you've done it again. An intellectual, cultural and emotional journey that feels like a perpetual bonding honeymoon. Killing it with the innuendos and then topping it off with Star Trek. We're putty in your hands. Thank you and have a blessed weekend. 🤗
I was ready to laugh at " what a man wants " but to be honest your small list at the beginning was 100% right.
👍👍👍👍😊
I have no idea how you have gained so much insight, but you have nailed it 100%! Well done Pea 👍👍
1. Let us live our lives...like watch our sports, pursue our hobby without complaining or bothering us & let us do what makes us happy. Then we will promise not to complain to you about your interests & let you do what makes you happy.
2. We like daily affection by words or touch. It makes us feel wanted & needed.
3. Men see a marriage as a team. You're on our side. Support your own not challenge us.
I've been married to a Filipina for 19 years. She's NEVER been the jealous type. She's extremely confident. Makes more 💵 than I do and still takes care of me. Gives me no drama whatsoever! 💯 👍🏾
Lucky you!👍
You probably don't give her a reason to be jealous.
Does she have a sister? 😇☺
Can you Clone her? lol
Mine doesn’t and after 15 years of marriage became completely uninterested in sex
We all want a woman like you… Beautiful, intellectual, wise, caring, cultured, respectful, self-assured, sexy and loving. 😘
I’m glad you think that way, JMD, but I think I scare some men away, men who want a naive or uneducated woman 😢
@TheFilipinaPea I think that's known as a slave. How boring!
It should actually be an advantage for you if some are scared away, so that finally only these men remain who are interested in an intelligent woman on eye level. :)
I think they tend to want the naive or uneducated to avoid the pitfalls you just described in the video. If they knew you and knew those didn't exist with all that you have to offer as well.....perfection is the result! @@TheFilipinaPea
@@TheFilipinaPeathat is sad, unfortunately there are some men who are dumb and can't handle an intelligent woman, but that is a sign of immaturity. A real relationship is about facing the future together and that means being equally yoked for a common goal. It isn't about being the same, it is about completing each other so you are both happy. Unfortunately there are many people who have not yet grown up despite being older and waste time. The only thing you can do is minimize your time with those people and move on.
WoW, 99% on point, that’s pretty rare to know that much about men. 🤙🏾
I study you 🤣🤣👍
@@TheFilipinaPeaI definitely can tell that you do. Keep up the good work.
The Omicron Adventure…Classic! Simply awesome, as was the starring actress. 👍🏻
The primary difference I see between Philippines and western culture is that the Philippines has the culture of paying back your parents and grandparents for the effort they put in raising you, whereas western culture is one of paying forward that effort by raising your own kids and helping to raise your grandkids. There’s less expectation that your children take care of you in your old age. This disparity in cultures creates friction when the western husband sees his Filipina wife expending her time and his resources on her extended family. Time and resources he expects to invest into his children.
Yeah. There are merits to both strategies. In the paying back strategy, the next generation has less resources to start out, potentially hindering productivity, in the paying forward model the contrary. However, the paying forward model discourages having children to a much greater extent when economic means are limited.
@@LMason-rx9xy I think the pay forward strategy takes pressure off people, allowing them to pursue higher education and higher paying careers before having their own children (and thus loading up on expenses). This allows a society's productivity and innovation to thrive, such that there becomes a bigger pie from which everyone can get a slice. The downside is the degradation of family structure. It took about three generations from the America of the 1940s and 50s with strong family values to evolve into the unmitigated disaster we seem to have today. Was all that extra innovation and productivity worth it? Hard question to answer.
Been dating a Filipino woman for over 6 months. Your pretty much 100% correct. Her jealousy drives me up a wall, also her needed to know everything im doing and needing to be with me 24/7 on video call 😂. Its ok for her to do things, but when i do the same stuff its not ok. 😊
Yup, typical behavior 🥺
Tell her the Pea said to cut it out, or she’s going to blow a chance to have a great guy
I was with one that was like that for over 2 years. If you're thinking that it will improve over time, it won't. It never did with my ex. I finally dumped her and am much happier because I found someone that allows me my freedom and we get along great. Take it from someone that went through it, you will be glad if you move on.
Being ok with this at the beginning is what got you into this mess. Never had this problem and I have spent a lot of time in Philippines.
She's playing you and probably a few more...
@billbradley5296 no one knows her here. Judging a book by its cover. If she is a playgirl. Plenty of other women in Philippines that would love a chance with a foreigner like me. I'm faithful,loyal,kind, stable job.
Add "no hymen - no diamond" to the list and if you are overall healthy looking then you 99% can be guaranteed to find a decent man from the west. there is a saying - "Women care about man's future, but men care about a woman's past". This should not be underestimated and overlooked.
Absolutely but to Find the "Real Truth" about a Filipina is like discovering the Diamond yourself
@@paulk8444 Do not underestimate or discredit your own abilities. If you get a slight hint at any point that something’s off - then call the whole thing off and move on etc. Most guys ignore that gut instinct and dismiss it as “overthinking” etc, which is one of the first and most fatal mistakes they make, everything else eventually follows that one step.
This woman is spot on. Normally as a man when i hear woman talk about men with these topics and what they want it's always laughable but this is absolutely spot on. So we'll researched.
Oh my god, that Star Trek ending was so funny. I'm glad you watch it, I hope you've seen The Next Generation. One of my favorite shows ever!
Really close to 100% accurate. Western men want to be accepted, acknowledged, and appreciated just as you said. One vast cultural difference is humor, particularly sarcasm, which almost doesn’t exist in some places and can get you into trouble quickly.
I can definitely say that Filipino women inherently know the value of warmth and necessity of the family dynamic. It’s actively been severed in the US. Even on the friend level there is a realness.
And for the men dating these lovely women, treat them right because it’s true of the culture when it’s said they can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You get what you give.
Love your channel
👍👍👍❤️
I live and grew up in America. Most people who don't live in North America have no idea how much men actually work. They also don't understand the competition in a work environment in America. Most American men HAVE to choose work over family. American workers get 40 hours of vacation a year on average. Most Americans work 60 hours a week. Most factories do not allow more than 3 "sick" days a year. Family means a lot to American men. We give up time with our wife and children to provide for them. We don't want our in-laws to suffer hard times. We also are reluctant to financially support them instead of our wife and children. I have seen a fair amount of relationships fail because the foreign lady kept sending financial resources to help her family. The discussion of how money should be used is crucial in a relationship.
I've worked my butt off. I'm 65 now but money is not the most important thing in the world. God blesses me every day. I put my trust in God to provide for me. I enjoy spending money on my wife. I buy stuff from my wife to send to her family in the Philippines
I don't know about other men, you got me figured out 95%.
The 5% is that I need some 'me' time. My asian partner always wants to know, where I am, what I am doing, and even what I am thinking.
For me spending some time alone means to reconcile some thoughts, flush out the ones I don't need, and that's it. I may do that while I go for a walk etc. But I need to be alone once in awhile.
Men (typically):
1. Sexual Fulfilment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. An Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Admiration
Women (typically):
1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and Openness
4. Financial Commitment
5. Family Commitment
From "His Needs, Her Needs", based on a survey of American couples c 1980.
A friend of mine said it best when a girlfriend of hers asked how to keep her partner faithful. She said "the secret to a happy relationship? Clean house, dirty wife, full stomach, empty balls" honestly, a loyal woman who attends to her mans needs is all we need. It's hard for another woman to steal your man as long as you're taking care of his needs properly.
✈✈✈Impressive to see a young lady articulated an understanding of Western men. If more Filipinas visited the U.S., they would understand our organizational, practical demeanor is indoctrinated in our way of life, such as how serious we are about our traffic rules, courtesy when shopping and/or lines, etiquette and TRYING to live our life with grace. Being married in the U.S. to a Filipina for 17 years, it was a struggle to get my wife to not push ahead in lines, be on time everywhere and to stop acting like she was fighting for the last piece of lumpia against the world and to understand investments and savings are for the future, not in one hand and out the other.✈✈✈
As an American guy married to a Malaysian, I enjoy this channel for the similarities and parallels. On the topic of the difference between family dynamics, I'll just add my experience. I bonded with her family well enough, we both agree on the importance of family, but as she came here to America for the marriage, and we've been together 7 years, her family stays in touch regularly, and visits when they can, but she's been taken back by my family. They accepted her readily, and still care for her, but she's for whatever reason, not really connected with them, and has reached the point where she doesn't really want to spend time with or build relationships with my family, and it's one of the biggest things that bothers me, as like I've said, I also believe family is everything, but she just won't bond with my family the way I have with hers. I wish I could be sharing a solution, but I haven't found one yet. Just sharing an experience and something to be aware of. Because of how developed Malaysia is, there wasn't as much of culture difference when she came here, but the difference in family dynamics is what caught her off guard and lead to lots of fights. Still trying to find a way to fix it. Any advice is welcome.
Family dynamics can be the most wonderful or the most extremely difficult things in life! I don't have any specific advice, but I hope your situation is able to improve.
Is she a Muslima? And if so, are you a convert? This might have a lot to do with how she relates (or does not) to your family. Good luck.
@@RavenMobile i hope so too. I'm optimistic though. Thank you
@@The1stGurehaundo no, both of us follow the same faith though, as do both of our families, so from my perspective, it's pretty much purely personal, which is both good and bad I guess. Thank you.
as we age we miss home.
For a Western man, this video was very educational. As a list of what difficulties are likely to develop in a relationship with a Filipina. And hints on how to deal with them. Thanks!
Your classic Star Trek clips are gold too! You really know your target audience. 😉
You nailed it Pea!!!! This should be required viewing for Filipinas involved with Foreign men.
Ooooh Pea, you hit the nail on the head with something you said... It reminded me of the first Filipina I ever dated. She acted one way in front of me, but was totally different on the FaceBook pages she had. After discovering those FaceBook pages and seeing how much trash she really was, it was over. Be real, or be gone. By the way, Pea... the ads that pop up in the middle of your videos would be much easier to tolerate if they were in a language I could understand.
Thanks
Kevin! Thanks so much for your kindness 👍👍❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hi Pea. Any chance of us getting married?
I’m amazed at the wisdom in one so young! Good job PP!
Respect, loyalty, honesty, love, care, sex, communication, peace
I'm a long time fan of Pea so no trolling here , I'm not sure we men are quite as simple as some women seam to think but yes those are the basics and something to work with . As usual dear Pea hit the mark so many times , in this vid , i have to say coming from the west and I mean this sincerely, hearing a woman just considering a mans wants and needs in relationship is so nice to hear so thank you Pea .
The true beauty of any woman is HER IDENTITY - strength, wisdom, ambition, honesty, inspiration. I’m afraid I don’t see much room for HER on this list… am I missing something? May we never forsake the chance to also know and foster HER dreams, aspirations, insights, fantasies, delights! True compatibility welcomes BOTH people to stand on their own two feet as they daily choose to walk side by side. 💗
You broke it down Perfectly Pea on what Western Men are looking for.
The Star Trek bit at the end killed me 😂
And your assessment is pretty accurate, if you give us those things we’ll never leave you.
🤣🤣🤣🤣👍👍
This video should be a, required to see, Public Service Announcement! Thank you for describing an ideal partner.
The Star Trek bit was very clever. As a big fan myself it really tickled me.
You are exceedingly wise for your age. You understand us western men quite well.
I hope every filipina girl thinking like you, but some don’t understand or don’t care about us as a foreigners. Thank you gorgeous.❤ Actually that dress match perfectly with your beautiful skin color. I love it.
Pea, you have clearly identified the problems and I congratulate you ! That is why I appreciate your channel, you document yourself, you dig to obtain relevant information that reflects our differences in order to create bridges between West and Southeast Asia. Your content brings freshness, quality and honest information ! Keep it up !
you have no idea what you have done, so close to the truth,i get emotional just you are exactly right.. this video should be bronze and put on a tablet in stone, you have no idea how correct you are, but you are Filipina pea, you know my culture, i humbly appreciate you content. you have the first few chapters of the American manual... the best video you could have created. i`m sharing this with everyone!!!!! keep up the great work.
Wow, I’m starting to become a real fan!!
I’m an American in Southern California…
My wife of 37 years was Filipina and passed away in 2021… I’m hoping to find another Filipina queen to be by my side..
I find your knowledge of American western men to be spot on…
It’s nice to be understood..
Thanks for your content you are a delight🌹
👋🏾PEA! 👏🏾U Nail this one right on the head!💯💯And if and when I ever have a Filipina as my woman like when I come to Cebu this month Nov 18th Lord Willin from US, I will be sure to let her watch this episode thank U for always speaking up for the Western Men & keep Us informed it's greatly appreciate!💯👌🏾LOVE U & Ur Content!💯😁