Life After Psych Drugs: Will Your Intelligence Return?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ก.ค. 2019
- Will your intelligence return after you’ve discontinued your psychiatric drugs?
I answer that in this video, while also touching on the subject of creativity and whether or not it will return for those who have lost it. For creative people, our intelligence and our creativity are intrinsically linked and the loss of the former often begets the loss of the latter. It's a tragedy at the soul level. And a full recovery isn't simply longed for, but desperately needed. If this resonates with you, then hopefully this video can aid you in some small yet meaningful way.
I should mention that I mainly focus on antipsychotics in this video, especially during the on-meds portion of my life, since they seemed to have the most devastating impact on my ability to think. While coming off meds, however, it would be difficult if not impossible for me to narrow it down to any one medication or even class of drug when trying to figure out what was doing the most damage to my mind. Odds are, it is the process itself, the one of coming off meds, that is inherently hostile towards one’s ability to form thoughts, be they simple or complex, and process information in all its forms. Simply put, it devastates the brain.
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About Russell B:
I was 11-years-old when I was first taken to a psychiatrist. Like so many children, I was struggling to deal with a stressful home environment. Rather than embarking on the complicated, difficult, and delicate task of thoroughly exploring all of that and attempting to solve the problems at their origins, the psychiatrist instead gave me a diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and promptly prescribed the antidepressant Luvox to treat its “symptoms.”
This sequence of events kickstarted nearly two decades of wandering through psychiatry’s labyrinth of symptom management and prescribing cascades. By the time I was 25, I had received a half-dozen diagnoses, taken countless psychiatric drugs - including ten straight years on antipsychotics - and had more side effects than I could keep up with or manage. I weighed 400 lbs (181 kg), had out-of-control Type 2 diabetes, and felt like I was dying. And honestly, I had felt so bad for so long, I sometimes welcomed it.
I didn’t know where the DSM labels and all the treatments for my supposed “disorders” stopped and I began. I was sad, broken, and worst of all, someone I’d never had the chance to know.
But then I experienced a spark of hope. A light bulb-over-the-brain moment. Maybe I didn’t have to live that way. Even though the belief had been drilled into me for so many of my developing years that coming off the meds would surely seal my doom, something deep inside told me to take a chance and bet big on Russell B. Using this internal guidance, I began a psych drug taper and slowly started coming off every single one of the drugs in a psych drug cocktail: Lexapro, Concerta, Ritalin, Geodon, Klonopin, and Rozerem. None of them were safe. All were on the chopping block.
It took 5 god-awful years to complete the taper and with almost no help from the docs who’d put me on them. But I succeeded.
I’ve been off all meds for 10 years now (as of August 2023) and haven’t seen a psychiatrist since way back in 2009. It’s been a brutally long journey down a nightmarish path. One that was often too dark to see in front of me and littered with steep drops and soul-testing trials. But you know what? I survived. And my life has been improving, slowly but surely, ever since I escaped the house that psychiatry built.
If you’re wandering down the same path, please know you’re not alone. You’re not fated to lose your way - or yourself. You can succeed. We all can.
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Support Calls:
Support Call appointments are not currently available, but you can send an email to RussellBYT@gmail.com if you would like to be added to the list of folks who will be notified as soon as more Calls are being scheduled.
Just put “Support Call Notification” in the subject line and you’ll be added to the list!
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Video notes:
Note 1: When I say “intelligence,” I am NOT saying that I’m “smart” or a “genius.” I am strictly referring to my ability to think. That’s the simplest way to put it. It’s the subject of this video: whether or not you will be able to think again-at the level that matches your full intellectual capability. No more, no less.
Note 2: This video's lightly edited. I currently have one scheduled to publish next Tuesday that'll have a little more spit and shine on it.
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Here's a link to a video where I go into more detail about my psych patient history. I left all that out of this vid to keep the time down and to avoid going over previously covered material.
The link:
• 3 of My Reasons for Co...
Time stamp for the relevant section: 0:01:00 - 0:04:16
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Disclaimer:
Any advice given on this channel is not a substitute for medical advice. Please consult with a licensed medical professional before coming off psych drugs.
Thank you for telling the truth about what these lobotomizing neurotoxins actually do to people.
Psychiatry should be abolished
@@russellbyt i was not injured by psych drugs, but by another horrible medication, alas i know many who have. Unfortunately i have not been able to recover, but cannabis helps.
Check out my channel, RxPilld
@Sael yeah I think before I talk. Psychiatry should be abolished and a new reformed system should be put in place. One that does not entail the administration of ineffective and destructive neurotoxins that destroy millions of lives.
Hi @UC4pL3439MMbv0NlzZZ2gzXg, yes, absolutely!! Life has become a torture for me
You know my first visit to a psychiatrist I was so excited because they are at the top as far as treating mental issues in our country but I found out pretty quick their job if you put it on a list listen to the patient and they'll ask you if you're allergic to something then give you a script and I'll see you in a month God forbid if you ask him anything about the medication you just tossing the line then enough paying them almost $400 for that
These psychiatrist need to be held accountable for all the damage they cause prescribing cocktails of meds.
I'm crying because this comment section is so relatable. So long feeling like a prisoner in my own mind, which I relished before. I loved how my mind worked. I was sharp, emotionally driven, passionate, humorous. Creative. I am an artist that cannot muster a painting. Colors are foreign to me, I don't understand how they work together. I spent the summer thinking of ways to die. When you said "learning how to read again" I felt that so hard. I feel like I've been lobotimized. Thank you for making this video. I'm trying to be patient with myself and this helps.
I remember having trouble sighing my name!!! I was mortified. It all comes back I promise.
@@jackiejames3898 how about your sex drive?
Hi See yaa, how do you feel today? It would be so nice to know. I can so much relate to everything you wrote.
@@jackiejames3898 Please share your experience. What has helped you?
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
Memory loss, confusion, inability to learn, ...during withdrawals, these side effects intensify.
The brain does heal. Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual healing start to occur. Some damage to the brain, caused by long term high doses, may be permanent. This is why your story is so important. Loss of intellect and learning abilities, is a common side effect of neuroleptics. More of a human rights violation than a cure.
You have survived and can tell your story. This is very helpful. I wish you happiness, perfect health, and success*
Debra how r u now
I used abilify 3 weeks , risperidone 1 week , will my intelligence and sex drive return ????
Will rispedal/ risperdone permanently make lsd or mushrooms not work 10 months after I stop taking it I took it for 2-3 months
I absolutely agree this shit is a crime against humanity wrapped up in "but it's helps you"
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
Im grateful to know I’m not alone. Still a prisoner of Seroquel after 20 something years, but I’m breaking the prison walls one day at a time. I’m currently on 75mg. Made my way from 600mg. Started as a kid, 34 now. This medication will not end me.
Congrats, that's great progress! We all know how hard it's been. It's like we gotta tunnel through all those bricks with just the dull end of a paper clip. But we can do it. Sounds like you’re getting there. Wishing you all the best as you keep moving forward. Much love.
Proud of you!
Keep going !!!
Congratulations. You're doing it on your terms.
For what mental ilness you use that?
Yep I was like that when I was on antipsychotics, completely impaired me felt like I was trapped in my own body. I’m off them now thank GOD
Did u regain sex drive and intelligence??
what were you on to begin with? Antipsychotics?
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
how long did it take for Intelligence Return cause im of it for 3 weeks im droping things and cant think it worst
That’s such a good way to describe it. They’re poison!
" psychiatry has turned out to be using someones suffering against them for profit" a noble profession?
in captalism everthing if for profit
I agree. They are pure evil
It's a little more than just a profit motive. Dissidents are almost all inherently depressed by the situations that make us dissidents. So, for us it is also about control, complacency, and specifically about flooding our brains with neurotoxins.
Also, most mental illness is caused by narcissistic abuse, so the entire field is all about enabling the narcissists and blaming the victims for having "bad brain chemistry" or "bad genes" or "not making the right decisions." Never mind any actual statistics, we'll just let Eli Lilly cherry pick the findings and sit back and collect kickbacks.
Evan our souls? @@ercushkakulmetov7458
@@ercushkakulmetov7458 j u d i s 3
Thank you for another excellent video.
Coming off psychiatric drugs really sucks. Only now I'm realizing how much I've lost because of this drugs. Not only my intellectual abilities, but also my spirituality and the connection to my inner self. I can't even speak with my friends about this, because they just would not understand. Just want my old self back 😑
@@russellbyt
Thanks for your Answer Russell!
You are absolutely right. It's really like living with a personal history that we can't really talk about.
May I ask you, what helped you most through the withdrawal? Did you ate or avoided certain foods? Did you exercised?
And in one of your videos, you said that you were diagnosed with OCD. Do you still struggle with OCD and how do you manage it?
Sorry for so many questions and my bad english skills 😅
Wish you good luck and all the best!
@@russellbyt
Thanks for your answer!
The past 2 months were really tough for me, but I'm slowly recovering from my psych drug experience.
Physically I'm fine, but I still have not gained back my passion for my hobbies and my intelligence back.
i see you left this comment 1 year ago, did the intellectual abilities come back after you stopped medication?
I died at 22 and I'm almost 31 because of benzos
@@ezeid137 i know what you mean. i was only anti depressants for anxiety, but the ocd and all the other stuff changed me and it does feel like I was another person. my thoughts my feelings, my confidence, and most importantly my attitude to people, and my sense of who I was. i used to take diazepam and they play with your head, its nice and calm but you have to come out of it at some point.
I should add that I am older- 40. And I quit decades of drugs, and after a few years off I got my ability to think clearly, my memories, and my spirit back. I have always been suicidal, I don't remember a time in my whole life where I did not want to die. Now I love life very much.Tapering gave me enough spark back to escape domestic violence for good. I'm really grateful I had the space and the supportive environment to become drug free. How I pulled this off, I don't know, but I am proof you can come back from this.
That’s a lot to overcome! I do think it’s important to give ourselves credit. Most of us don’t come this far by accident. We had to have some help and a maybe even a little good fortune here and there, which is why some aren’t able to do it quite yet, but it’s tons and tons of work. The end result can look like a miracle to others. Even to ourselves at times. But we found a way to survive something that didn’t really want us doing that - or didn’t want us to survive it _our_ way. And yet, we found a way to do just that. So happy to hear you’re loving life now :) And really glad you’re out of that horrible and dangerous domestic environment!
@@russellbyt I must say for how horrible this experience has been just looking at the positives to keep any sort of sanity, I feel like I have learned a lot about myself and who I am. Like you said it’s almost a rebirth of sorts in a way, and being taken to rock bottom gives you perspective.
I find myself enjoying the little things in life, and I never did that before. Sunlight on my skin, a good song, eating good food. I just have so much more appreciation for it. If I could go back in time would I have never taken this fucking drugs? In a heartbeat. But looking at the silver lining, even if there were very minimal positives, there still there, and acknowledging them have helped me a lot.
I’m just glad to still be alive you know?
@@Bob-po2dpwere you able to fully recover? Off it for 3 months, took it for 6 weeks.
I have the same problem, lack of intelligence and memory, tiredness and lack of drive to do things. But the psiquiatrist and the psyquiatric nurses talk like you are normal, of course you can study and you can work, all the rest of people in medication do them. Only in the internet I find that people in medication are actually like me, and medication affects them.
Glad you’re finding your people :) Psychiatry and much of the mental health system overall are recklessly protective of the meds and it makes our online community so vitally important to folks like us. Much love to you.
@rleston6848 I have the same symptoms as you do and I am planning on going off of medication. I have been off medication 2 years ago and I recovered very fast after that. I could work I felt alive again. Don’t loose hope and maybe we can connect to keep in touch with how it goes with our experiences off medication let me know if you wanna stay in touch!
@@deniscristianmilos2520hey family, two questions .. 1.) why were you placed on medication was it something drug induced? 2.) how did you get off the medication?
In 3 months quitting all of my meds (i don’t suggest doing this cold turkey like I did, this was a mistake)-- i have reclaimed so much intelligence and clarity, and become mentally much better.
My attitude is great too
That's great! Congrats. Quitting cold turkey must've been awful but I'm glad it's worked out for you 😀
What I have found to help is 1. meditation. 2. working out (weights or running). 3. healthy diet. 4. no drugs (no alcohol, caffeine etc). 5. staying productive (work/school etc). 6. getting good sleep (dark room, no noise, enough hours). Doing these everyday and sticking by them religiously. I'd say the more serious your case is (on meds for many years) you should abide by these all the more strictly and intensely. Also setting goals is helpful. For instance, if you are intelligent enough - during your recovery - to provide for your livelihood (i.e. you can hold down a job) any other additions in your recovery is just extra. In other words, knowing when you feel 'good enough'. Likewise rediscovering laughter and your sense of humor will go a long way. A good comedy is a great antidepressant.
Good, but what do you mean? That you had psychosis and managed without med.-drugs because of the good lifestyle? Please answer,. What about combination with aLoneliness, C-PTSD = anxiety, depression = alcohol/ coffee/ smoking/ street-drugs?
I am practically 3 weeks of being tapered completely. I have been completely tapered off of psychiatric drugs before for months, however, I ran into some domestic abuse from my father. I was inside of my apartment when my father called the police on me and lied to the cops and told them I was schizophrenic and that I had stopped taking my medicine. My psychologist had already diagnosed me with PTSD and had severely ruled out any suspect of any other diagnoses. However, basically my father took everything I had worked to gain where I would function as a happy, healthy and intelligent individual away. I was in college, I had a job, I had friends, and that was because I came off of the psychiatric drugs. Then my father knew that police would arrest me if he told them I was having a "psychotic episode." He did this because he came to my apartment uninvited once and I made him leave my apartment. He felt left out and angry, and had his revenge by intentionally lying to the police. I was thus prescribed the drugs again, and now have to run through the Icarus maze one last time. I am almost out of the maze, finally. I have to realize that my sick and predatory father is to be ignored and shut out of my life, as well as any other people who would use psychiatry as a weapon to harm me like my father. I have 2-3 weeks left of being on any psyche meds, and when I am finally off I know I will begin to get my social and higher mental faculties back. However, as it is now, because I take psychiatry, I avoid reading and just play video games on my laptop. That's really all I've ever done on the influence of psychiatry besides watch TH-cam, Netflix and Anime.
The last 6 months have been a nightmare due to the fact that I thought I was at the finish line but had to restart my efforts and re-live all of the torment that I had been through for so long. I also lost all of my friends, the job, and I dropped out of school. So basically, after being free of the psyche drugs, and then being force fed them again due to my father's lies, my worst fears became real and I lost all I had earned from the miracle of psyche drug recovery.
I swear to dear God, I know 100% that without fail, if I can breathe without psychiatric drugs in my system that I am able to succeed in life, but as it is now, my life has tumbled and fallen and been burned to the ground, thanks to the predators in my life.
only 2-3 more weeks, and I beg to God that I will finally be free of psychiatric drugs for the rest of my life. I pray to dear God, because I do need to in order to work and go to college and just flatout enjoy any part of my life.
Same. I too have to go back to them. I needed a brain scan from all the traumatic experiences I've experienced. Not those damn drugs. I've undergone hell too from withdrawing from them and now I am back to taking them again.
Learn about narcissism. You definitely have them in your life and I'm very sorry.
Sounds like my mom
Hi Gabriel! How do you feel today?
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
Thanks for your video. Slowly recovering. Psychiatrist had me on the highest dose of risperdal possible for my age (at 18), although she was never able to come to an actual diagnosis of any sort except depression (you can see where it came from). Tip for everyone, don’t go to a Psychiatrist who doesn’t deserve the title.
I almost wish I was schizophrenic to justify my horrible experience on Seroquel. I was totally given it off label and I wish I had the means to sue.
I’m 20 and my psychiatrist did the same thing but with a nasty injection of risperidone (120mg), the highest dose you can inject someone with
What happened to you
@@JZGreengo did you recover?
@@elijahsmith6722 yup, still working on self improvement and it was a great experience to know that horrible docs exist so now I know not to trust every doc because of their degree
I need prayers to come off of my medications.
@joyfrizzell1363
I've been tapering off one medication, Clonazapam, but have, in the past, taken antidepressants for many years.
I think daily about whether or not the anxiety and panic will return after the taper. Cognitive loss apparent after 17 years of benzodiazepene use (prescribed dose - never increased) Once was an avid reader and writer.
I will be praying for you every day.
You are so articulate, love your videos. I’m on 600mg Lithium - I tried 3 days off then had psychotic break so had to go into hospital. Psychiatrist will not support me in tapering. I’m currently doing a fruit cleanse to try and heal my Kidneys and Thyroid which are damaged by Lithium. Feel so helpless and frustrated! I’m going to look into a clinic that will support tapering off the Lithium. I am disgusted with mental health provision, I was treated like an animal on psych ward. Sorry for the rant! Keep up the good work. X
Any better Claire ?
I was on antidepressants for 30 years. I weaned off 2 years ago and I became completely depressed, anxious & dysfunctional. I have not improved one tiny bit in 2 years. I feel the damage is permanent. I'm thinking I have to go back on them in order to function
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
update
My love goes out to you man, thank you for making this video
I watched this video months ago and I just thought about rewatching it again this morning. I tried to explain this to my family but they just look at me like I’m a hypochondriac. this whole time I’ve been so concerned with what psych meds did to me? And it makes me feel better that I’m not alone in feeling like they have to relearn a lot of things.. but I have really not been the same and it’s been months since I’ve been off of them now. I miss my old life.. I miss how I used to be. It’s so hard to live my life how I want to live it now an no medical professional believes they the meds have truly dampened my quality of life. I have no drive no passion, no inner monologue, no insight or prospective on things. I truly hate myself for starting meds bc well.. I didn’t need them.
Just wanted to say thank you for your post.. it’s created a small community group in the comment section and I’m very grateful.
WOW. You NAILED it. I miss my inner monologue, my internal voice, my creative spark. It’s so difficult for others to get this- my family is puzzled (“but you SEEM fine!!”) and want me back on the meds. I am waiting to recover but the hours and days are inching by.
Hi Chikara and Priya, how both of you feel today? I can relate to EVERYTHING you guys wrote! I don't know how you feel now. Maybe we can connect and support each other in this process? I feel so alone with all that.
@@priyao5097 how do you feel now that you are off medication?
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
@@priyao5097 same here
Im also one of those that really suffer if i touch an anti~psycotic. To me doing it only for a week left me feeling like the lifeforce had been sucked out of me. I wish someone could have just told me «hey this poison is likly to eat haf your brain and its going to be hard growing it back», instead ive been depressed for 6 weeks and want to my life back even if it that was hard to. Thanks for sharing, i wish some real science on those drugs were invested in but that would probably shut down the business and too much money in that game.
I initally didnt want to take any medication but was kinda fooled into it in the heat of the moment. But i was lucky to get off it pretty fast. Still im impressed how muchd amage it wss able to do. I think we all react very differently to psych meds its in no way agreeable with my chemistry. I get the idea is to switch off the brain but i was more bothered with low energy and zyprexa depleted that last bit of energy reserve. However i got better therapeutic tools myself that will help me back over time (allthough the meds seem to depotentiate other beneficial interventions aswell)
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
@@adriangraham1868 It can only get better. I think parts of my mind was lost rather permanently but biology work to regulate itself over time and when metabolism returns i think the mind also become more alive again....
@@ByrialDamn. This makes me feel like shit and it’s not your fault. I also took Zyprexa, but I took it for 10 months, that’s why. I took 7.5 mg for the first 2 months, then 5 mg for the next few months, and 2.5 for about the last 4. I’ve been off of it for a little over 2 months now and the reasons I got off of it were due to loss of intelligence and memory problems, and inability to think clearly. I’m worried I’m fucked for life.
Thank you so much for this video. I've been on lexapro for 2 years and it has turned me into a binge eater, compulsive gambler, and other things I would never have done previously. I have finally realized what cause this behavior. I want my soul back.
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
Dear dear Russell, thank you for the positive message.
You are a ray of hope for my life. I cannot thank you enough.
I will be back. To what I was. To what I deserve to be.
More than a decade of this psych drugs. And now I realize what I have lost.
The same doctors who put me in this mess refuse to help me get out of this. People on internet sharing experiences are helping me.
Memory issues, emotion issues. Lack of intelligence. Cognition impairment. Lack of constructing even two sentences with a thought. No inner monologue for years.
Withdrawal sucks.Even with slow tapering.
I will celebrate my small victories. I will be back.
Thank you ❤︎
@@russellbyt Thank you Russel! Could you please share Which resources did you use for helping you in withdrawal process?
I already see few signs since I started tapering off started - since last year. The first thing I noticed that my inner monologue was back and then it struck me - I was a zombie for so many years and I did not even realize it. I was calm and peaceful because I had lost the capability to think and no thinking and no emotion means you will not get angry - not be sad - not have any emotion basically. Now I am starting to think, and am relearning how to think. Slowly, I can feel emotions. I feel happy, sad, joyous, angry - I feel like slowly - I am starting to feel alive.
And by the way. I write a lot of short poems and many of them were on the lines of feeling empty, feeling a void - feeling that there is nothing left - when I was on these meds.
And now I get it. Now I can see that it is getting better.
❤︎ to you sharing your experience.
I just hope the physical symptoms of withdrawal and dependency go away.
I cannot sleep properly without one of the psych drugs I am tapering off now ( medicine induced insomnia I guess). And get headaches and sweating - probably withdrawal symptoms.
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
How are you today?
@@user-xx1qd7th3g ты на инвеге? дай контакт
I don't have a problem forgetting the wrongs Dr. Drug-pusher did to me. Yet he had the nerve to say that I should be "grateful." Sure, I'm grateful. Thanks for ruining my physical health and breaking my trust with your psych-meds and lies about me having probable psychosis. Thanks for not taking my concerns about said-medications seriously. Thanks for taking away any chance I had of having children and a normal life. Most of all, thanks for nothing, Dr. Drug-pusher.
Exactly what I’m going through... I needed this. 🙏🏻 thank you and I’m only 1/3 through your video. Wow!
I'm in a toxic relationship with my family who gave me my stepdads olanzapine when I was 7 (the one by Patriot) according to my brother because I talked about my teacher I wanted to be adoped by who had guns. Fast forward to 24 y.o. with their smear campaign they got me thrown onto it again and I definitely feel it has diminished my mental and cardiovascular health
Great video russell! Im glad u are progressing and ur cognition ability is coming back! Just wanna ask u is ur mood becoming better? What about the depression after meds? Are u able to enjoy things again? I hope u can tell us more and more about ur improvements especially things related to motivation and depression..
All the luck russel!
Thanks for uploading good quality videos about mental health.im just beginning to look into this field on TH-cam and it’s generally speaking a lot of negative things uploaded here. I feel if you spend time looking into the positive side then mental health is easier to deal with. So thank you
Thanks for this video. I've had 6 years of antipsychotics. Alot of damage. Encouraging.
There's always hope. Much love to you!
@@russellbytgood to know
What a fine person you are sharing your life's journey and with psych drugs. It is helpful.
This is such a good contribution, Russell! Thank you so much for your honesty, vulnerability and integrity in sharing this very gently pragmatic encouragement. That really hit when you said you stopped journaling for fear of somebody finding it and finding out what's really going on for you (and possibly using it against you?) - I came up with a solution to that worry: I fully fill out each page about 3x (often over more than a single session), rendering it absolutely illegible - for me the important part is just getting it out, and since I very rarely ever feel any desire to re-read my rants, this works really well
@@russellbyt ha! Funny you should say that - I've ended up doing some very cool scratchy drawings on top of a few of those pages, prompted and guided by the piled up text! Really does end up being something of an art project. 🙂
"how lacking you are in the thinking department" -that was pretty funny lol. But I am hoping I get better as well, these meds killed everything that I am, and it is really traumatising
One of the most terrifying things about all this is that worry we have that what we’re experiencing is permanent. Thankfully it’s not. It can take a frustratingly long time to recover what we’ve lost, but it does come to us back over time.
@@russellbyt yes, thank you. I have been fighting to find the will to stay, it is so hard not knowing if it is permanent or not. If I may ask, did you also regain the ability to feel romantic thoughts again? I can not feel anything of the sort anymore and feel like it may be permanent. You don't have to answer, it's okay if you don't want to
@Mc Kitty I don’t mind answering at all. The ability to feel romantic feelings did return. Not all at once. But it gradually came back during the post-taper period. That’s basically how it played out for everything that had been lost. The passing of time has played a such a huge role in the healing process.
My anger towards the medical profession will never die. But it's not just anger I feel. I'm disappointed too. Last time I checked, it was 2023, not 1923. Yet attitudes towards mental health haven't changed at all. Medical professionals need to do better. Until they do, I intend to stay away from them, and anyone else who has suffered no thanks to them should too.
Another great one Russell! Been waiting for some vids from you! You didn’t disappoint
Yep! Still tapering! Trying to accomplish a little every week. I’m in the brain dead/totally fried period of WD. These videos really help a lot
You are amazing Russell. Someone gets me, and is healing; gives hope to this girl who is still tapering & riding the turbulence of withdrawal. Someone is able to put words, I desperately try to, to the hell that's happening inside. Has me teared up😭🤗 Thank you, thank you. God has blessed me through you!
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
I wish you the best and the success in everything you do in your life
Thanks, Marlin! I wish you the very same :)
Took Depakote ER for two months. Stopped five days ago. My libido, intelligence, creativity, vocabulary, and analytical abilities are down 85%. Your videos are giving me hope. I'm almost still numb. Thank you for your hopeful, personal experience.
Hey, glad I could help! The drop in our capabilities is significant (near total, really) but it does get better. Much love.
@@russellbytthanks that's good to know
Thank you, Russell. Your realism and gentle encouragement is so appreciated. 🙏💕
Really happy to help!
your way of speaking and turn of phrase, "your soul will forever bear the scars of that" made me cry...you have a way with words I'm telling you. i'm so glad you are getting better and speaking for myself, hearing the dark side of this stuff from another human being helps more than you may know. all the very very best and I will be following your channel
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
How are you now?
@@adriangraham1868are you on medication ? I see your name everywhere
Thank you so much for your videos. I am helping my daughter recover from antipsychotics. She can't speak for herself at this point. You give me hope! So grateful......
How does your daughter feel now that she is off medication?
I'm 3 months out this time. Thank you for this raw honesty. I agree 1000%. Giving credit for the smallest of victories is vital. I have to give it to myself, as no one else will. I know it's not out of malas, only ignorance. Unless a person has experienced this tragic invisable medical brain injury, they can't understand it. The hardest part for me right now is knowing what I once was capable of in all areas of my life. I believe things will get better, but at the same time try not to have specific expectations. I feel like that type of thinking got me here, and not all by my own doing. " Here take these pills, they will fix everything". Writing this comment took 15 minutes or more. Lots of back spacing and editing. I'm ok with that, because I had the courage to do it.
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
@@adriangraham1868 It's a slow healing process. Mind feels a lot better, but bad days still come. my emotions are better regulated in the last few weeks. My body is struggling. I was told it could take years, so I'm trying to keep expectations in check.
I really hope you can find happiness!!!
God bless you Stay this way Believe me you aremuch better than many who thinks they are.
@@miriambochenek9083 thank you. I can't believe the changes that have happened since I first wrote this. Each day has made a small improvement, that in turn has made a huge difference. Even with the current state of this country, I wake up ready to face the days challenges, & rewards. It has been decades, if ever I felt this alive. I still face hurdles like anyone else, but I feel capable to find a way over or even around them. Blessings to you.
So relatable!! Psychiatry really drove me mad. Been on all kinds of psychiatric drugs for 9 years and I couldn't function at all anymore. I had epileptic seisures at the end. It got so bad, they wanted to commit me into psychiatric inpatient care permanently. But then my intuition kicked in and I knew I had to get out. I didn't know why yet, but I just felt I had to get out right there and then. Long story short, I quit all drugs, cold turkey (NEVER DO THIS, IT'S EXTREMELY DANGEROUS!! but somehow I servived) and I managed to get out of psychiatry for good. I too had to learn how to think, read and write again (still learning). My intuition guided me, and I've come very far.
It has been 18 years now and I'm still recovering and in mourning for the years I've lost and the damage it has done to me. But my intelligence has come back for the most part, I think, it's far above average by now. I'm still struggling with all the trauma, but I gained so much knowledge from the whole experience!
I just needed to understand how the system broke me (and many, many others. We are lucky to have servived, many don't!) down that much, so I took a deep dive in the matter and I learned so much about myself, others, psychology, sociology, politics, capitalism, history, society, philosophy, ethics. I went to university to study philosophy but I had such a deeper understanding of how systems operate, the schooling system included. I quit because there was nothing to learn for me there. The teachers lacked so much practical awareness, common sense, wisdom and deaph, it frustrated me. My critical thinking skills were driving us al mad, I'm afraid 🤣 I made the teachers think, not the other way round 🤣 So I figured I didn't need education from the schooling system, I rather figure things out on my own. I'm not the type that is motivated by high grades, witch university was all about, but I'm driven by my own curiosity and creativity. I've grown so confident of my mind, that it doesn't matter how much was lost. How to tell anyway! Sometimes, I wish more of it was gone, because this is also an isolating experience. It's hard to find people I can relate to, so that's why your video jumped out for me.
So, don't worry to much about your mind! It sounds fine to me, far above average as I can tell. And you wil keep on healing, growing and learning.
More important is to take care of your spiritual and your emotional well-being. But hearing you reflect on your experiences, I think you too will manage fine in those areas.
The journey has been very tough for me too, but I'm in a far beter place now. It takes time, but when you look back in a couple of years, you can't even imagine the ability for you to have grow that much without this experience. It will give you other gifts than just getting back your high intelligence. To me, my intuition has become one of my greatest sources of wisdom, not my high intelligence. Open your mind 😉 and be amazed, take care!
So sorry you’ve been through all this! What you said about still recovering after so long, and being in mourning, and still dealing with the trauma are all so relatable. It’s so much more complicated than “I came off psych meds and now I’m doing so much better.” It’s what makes it so hard to quickly and concisely answer the “How are you now?” question all of us get asked after coming off meds and staying off them.
And the benefits you shared are so relatable too :) It’s been one hell of a journey. So many ups and downs and sudden (and not-so-sudden) curves. But the experiences we’ve gained really have been invaluable. We’re going to be okay. We _are_ okay. Much love to you!
@russellbyt Thank you for your response! I'm glad you are doing well on your journey!
There is more public awareness about the harms of psychiatric pharmaceuticals; more and more former patients and professionals are speaking out against psychiatry/ big pharma. Great, I hope things will change for the better.
In the Netherlands, where I'm from, there was a great peer support movement, I was part of. This movement helped me so much with dealing with the trauma. I worked as a peer supporter in Dutch psychiatry, but then they turned the movement into controlled opposition by demanding the peer movement be absorbed into the regular education system, by merging it into social studies. At first, I was enthusiastic, I saw it as recognition and valedation of our work to improve the psychiatric system, but soon after I started social studies, I discovered the schooling system was corrupting the peer support movement. It became a product of psychiatry, not our movement anymore. I became the thorn in the side of our movement, I saw how my classmates were being indoctrinated into psychiatric ideolies again, but they didn't. I quit social studies, and with pain in my heart, got out of the movement as well.
Now, ten years later, some peers woke up again and started building their own parralel psychiatric care system. I think this could be a far beter solution than trying to change the system. The forces in power (insurance companies and big pharma) are to mighty, you can't beat them.
For me, I'm still struggling to find my way in society. It's hard. If I see injustice, or something goes against my morals, I need to act on it. Employers don't appreciate that. I'm not a good wage slave, not capable of becoming part of the herd. I don't fitt in, but tough it's very practically inconvenient, part of me is glad about it. Who wants to be normal in this f*cked up world anyway? Not me. So, I'm between jobs again at the moment, and struggling financially. Never managed to get out of poverty, so that sucks. But I just can't deny my true self for money, I just can't.
So, how did you manage to become part of society -again-? If you have..
And what about peer support in your country, does it exist?
Just courious: How did you cope with the corona crisis? In the Netherlands, they used coersion to force people to get vaccinated. It reminded me so much of psychiatry forcing medication on me, so I refused to take it. Never did. I didnt trust it one bit. People just didn't understand why I didn't want to get vaccinated. I tried explaining it, but people were so brainwashed by the propaganda of big pharma, they just didn't understand. Can you relate? Did you get vaccinated?
Lots of love and all the best to you!
My 31 year old daughter can not process information, has delusions, paranoia, and doesn't make sense too much of the time. Her brain is messed up from psych meds and I couldn't believe how they had her so drugged on them that she was like a zombie, no emotion, like an empty shell. She took them way too long without anyone around her noticing it was not a good thing!
I don't know how to help her heal . I do know that eating real food , grown out of the ground is helpful. This is so hard to see her destroyed by these meds that she hasn't taken for a few years.
I've heard of heavy metal cleanses, I want to learn about that and more to help her heal. She doesn't even realize she needs healing except when it gets really bad and she can't sleep because of things going on in her mind , very scattered thoughts, even music lyrics, Which is also something the meds were doing to her at the end of her taking it. But for the most part, she is not in reality and doesn't know it.
This is a really nice video. Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm 1.5 years off after 12 years from 14 to 26. I really relate to the whole writing aspect because I've also been struggling to write and just think. Some days are better than others. Hope you're doing well.
Hey Katherine, Glad to hear you’re having _some_ good days. I know how hard and hopeless it can be at times, so I know what you mean about some being better than others. Thankfully the creativity and related things will come back eventually. That really helps us feel like it’s all worth it.
It’s not easy for anyone, but it’s especially hard for those of us who kinda grew up on the meds, so just hang in there and keep making progress. Much love to you!
Thank you for sharing this candid video. I don’t think I’d ever be able to talk about my experience in this way. I am too busy pretending to be something I’m not. I really appreciate the advice and I feel like there’s hope for me. I was on antipsychotics for about 7 years and I feel like my inner world is developing which is weird. My thing was always art and I’m only now deciding which avenue to go down with it upon years of indecision. It’s a big step when you accept where you are. I’m studying a masters in sociology and writing my dissertation about how we are only taught to treat the symptoms not the other things which make up our lives e.g. skills and life mastery. I think this can be very counterproductive. I’m really struggling to write my dissertation because of what you said about internal monologue and concentration. Then I find myself working way too hard to get my life together at the same time. Your video has given me so much hope. Thank you x
That’s a great subject for your dissertation! And obviously very personal. I know that makes any impediments to progress all the more frustrating. It’s great that you’re finding a path forward that doesn’t involve deeply absorbing the bad lessons others have learned and tried to pass on to you. This will lead to a life that’s so much more meaningful and well-lived.
Stay hopeful. You’ve come a long way - and none of these current obstacles are going to stop you!
Thank you thank you thank you so much for this video. I thought I was going off the rails. I kept trying to explain it to my family; “somethings WRONG. It’s like my mind is a hollow cave. I can literally hear it dripping.” I was forced onto antipsychotics because my brain went a little haywire due to narcissistic abuse.
Now, I feel completely lobotomized as others have put it. I am thinking of starting patient advocacy groups and getting the words out there to doctors. Funny enough, my psychotic symptoms went away with the use of a GOOD therapist, one who empathized with me instead of calling me delusional.
You have no idea how many people you’re helping with your videos.
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
Hi! How are you today?
Yes, I'm just staring in front of me. Not going out. I can't focus. I can't organize and plan anymore. Everything I want to undertake slips away and I end up in a depression.
@@russellbyt I'm still on them. I don't recognize myself anymore.
thankyou for this, made me feel a lot less alone and more hopeful about things that I would normally just blame myself for, great vid 👍
Thank you :) Happy I could help!
no worries, just seeing u articulate yourself well despite what you’ve been through gives me hope ! :)
@@russellbyt Sorry to tell you Russel my brother died from klopomin
@tyrel Oh Tyrel, I’m so sorry for your loss! Sending so much love to you and your family.
What happened if you don’t mind me asking? Was he tapering?
"Our minds are our strengths". Yes!!
BRAVO!!! AND CONGRATULATIONS.....YOUR A GODSEND AND I APPRECIATE YOUR YT CHANNEL!!! MY SPIRIT WAS LOW ENOUGH I SUBCONSCIOUSLY ABSTAINED ON MY OWN!!..TO FEEL IN-TUNE, STRENGTH, PASSION AND MORE CREATIVITY!!! IT'S A FEELING SO FABULOUS --ANY DRUG CAN'T REPLACE! WITH GOD'S HELP! THERE IS HOPE!! IMPORTANT TO DISCERN AND MAINTAIN POSITIVE INFLUENCES DURING THIS CRUCIAL FRAGILE TIME...ENDED UP NOT SHARING THIS DECISION WITH NO ONE!! ESPECIALLY FROM FAMILY!! I FELT LIKE I WOKE UP FROM A COMA AND AS YOU WORDED "A CHEMICAL STRAIGHT JACKET" THAT WAS HOLDING ME BACK!! FINALLY---- A FRESH START AND MY GLORIOUS LIFE IS BACK! THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!!✝️🙏 I'M SO THANKFUL EVERYDAY NOW!! ALSO YOU DIDN'T LOSE ANYTHING LIKE INTELLIGENCE ETC IT WAS PUT INTO A SUSPENSION THAT YOU DON'T REALIZE UNTIL A RUDE AWAKENING!! DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF AND CELEBRATE EACH DAY GOING FORWARD!! GOD LOVES YOU VERY MUCH!!! 2:11😊
Thank you :) Congrats to you as well! So happy to hear your intuition led you down a better path and that you've reawakened all those core attributes of the soul. Much love to you!
connie- are you on a auckland library computer- ?????
Yeah I come off very slow compared to when I'm not on meds. Plus I have such a flat affect that it scares people. Hang in there my fellow psychotics.
Thanks so much for sharing. You are doing great now, sounding great and looking great! Congrats! I'm so happy for you.
Thank you. I need to hear this today!
Really happy it helped!
men the only thing i see good in our experience its the capacity to understand how people talk about things who dont are capable of understand even medics... i take 2 years of antipsychotics and its a thing who some people want in my case i dont want that because i dont use any stimulant to pull me up on the process... so im here one year off meds and i notice only less pain but i dont have my intelligence back... this feels like natural selection we are brave bro xD thanks for the courage of talk about it because its something very personal and ugly to think about... hugs from the otherside of the planet
Hi Awake Thinkers, how is it today?
I'm so hurt that I didnt find this channel sooner. I've come to the same realizations but was totally alone and when I tried to explain...
Tears slide for my old self with everything being brought back to mind so fresh with this video - I wish I found this sooner. Old me might have felt less alone (brain was totally cooked then no idea how I would have responded). Things got so bad I couldnt hide the deficits, and ppl I'd laid down my life for relished in my struggles. Such a bad time and place. I felt like it was all in my head and I was just a weak bad person - everyone echoed those sentiments 360° and I was either cooked or psychotic.
I really appreciate your channel 😊❤🎉
Hate you didn’t find the channel sooner but better late than never! I’m sorry you had to endure all of that. It’s a struggle so few would be able to comprehend. You made it through though and it’s something to really be proud of 🙌 😀
@@russellbyt Thank you so much for the reply. I'm glad to have the experiences under my belt - it makes me feel better able to understand, relate to or help people out. Your video was like opening a time capsule. You are so positive, gentle, understanding and well spoken. I'm surprised you don't have an even greater following. You should feel so proud of yourself - the vulnerability, strength and grace you show in these videos is downright touching and inspiring.
The way through such a time is indeed the suspension of self-judgement, trading panic for peace, and being comfortable with lack of knowing (how long it will last, how extensive the affects, ubable to explain them or what to attribute the cause of to what). Presence of mind, radical self-acceptance, following your gut (even if it doesn't make sense to others or even yourself at times) for the sake of your health and happiness. Letting go of wanting to be understood, and put "having to understand everything" on pause. "Being" is better than "knowing".
Follow up with small steps of doing what you can do from a place of loving yourself into healthy lasting change (process-oriented) as opposed to shaming and hating yourself into it (goal oriented) - healthy food, fresh air, laughter, tears, time together, time apart etc.
The experience also gave me much needed clarity on the individuals in my life. Just moving out and I didn't need meds and lifelong worsening symptoms/side affects resolved themselves with a startling speed - it was the best health of my life until I opened the next chapter in the this lessons textbook that is my Life🙈😂
Recovery very much is possible. Healing, Health and Happiness is a manner of traveling and not a destination that needs the stamp of approval from anyone other than yourself. You have to give yourself permission to BE yourself however you may be showing up in that moment and thats quite alright. A lot of times the distress of the side affects of these medications adds on a stress that scatters us even further. Whether you scream or sit your house will still be on fire - might as well put your feet up and catch up on that anime you fell behind on until the fire department gets here 🤣
Life isn't "paused" because I found myself to be "sub-par" - I have learned so much. As long as you are experiencing, you haven't missed a day of you life.
Such is a bit of what I have learned. Your emotional intelligence, depth and resilience is brilliant. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your channel!!
❤️😊🎉
Dude i speak a lot like your way of speaking.Like to an outsider it may seem like we re smart and just cant vhoose the right word out of many but in fact we re waiting for the word to come out.Not self pity i intend to get my intelligence back or try at least but felt like saying it so why not.Thank you for taking up the task of doing these vids.No kidding tho for all that you ve said all s so true ,it is personal like why are these even prescribed.I understood everything like spiritually disconected,cant write,read ,remember,couldnt have made this vidio 😂 and everything.im 10 months off and i ve gotten a little bit better in these.Still cant asses the exact damage tho,lacking in the sens of self and character and whatevs.i kinda had forgotten about this and school being online meaning that im not gonna see others outperform me in any possible way so idk ignorance s a bliss in this case.Anyways i intend to keep trying.Good luck everyone we ve been had but dont give up
A lesser known antipsychotic that's on the market is what has plagued me for as long as I can remember. I have tourettes syndrome and have been prescribed pimozide ever since I was 15. I'm 21 now and now that I live on my own without my parents I'm getting off them. I got off them last year and I can't remember too much of the first few months after getting off, but holy shit do I remember the summer right after it. Best summer of my life, I made a bunch of friends and my self confidence went through the roof. Everything was so alive, it was like waking up from a coma. I only went back on it because my parents were dicks and didn't want me ticcing loudly when I lived with them (January). I'm currently on week two or three of withdrawals and I have learned that anxiety is real and is a huge kick in the balls. But I'm learning ways to manage and cope with it just like I did last year. Thanks for the video man 🤘
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
@@adriangraham1868 Back on an antidepressant, this comment was written while I was prescribed Vyvanse which I abused every day. This comment was masked with the euphoria I felt from that crap. I honestly miss the antipsychotic I was on, my tics have gotten out of control and i'm currently trying to find something to help
I've been on paxil 20mg for 4 to 5 months and at first it seemed that they worked well for me but after some time they made me feel like a zombie. Last week I decided to taper off them very slowly because I believe that it may prevent the withdrawal symptoms.
My girlfriend is taking anti-psychotics for 5 years by now. She is schizoaffective, and I kind of worry about what those medications can do in long term use. But also without them she spirals out of control. Once I took a single pill from her medication that she is not taking anymore, haloperidol, it paralyzed me for 3 days on a bed, I couldn't move my body for 3 days, it fucked me up so badly I got completely scared from those drugs. While she could take it and it was as if it was nothing to her.
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
The way you described your symptoms from Psych drugs is almost identical to my reaction to psychedelics. I lost my navigation skills everything I knew before psychedelics I remembered like an elephant but anything after I started using I can learn something one day and go party and forget everything I learned that next Monday
@@russellbyt I appreciate your sympathy buddy and just to verify how stupid I was I took my first sitter acid at 16 in in high school I mean during class and I got in the race scene in my twenties and thirties dinner is back every Saturday night but I eventually figured out I couldn't do it and I will just go to erase and drink the only psychedelic I can handle what Special K ketamine
Even with my experience I won't ever judge someone that enjoys it matter fact I'm jealous the people that I have a spiritual experience on psychedelics as far as my kids hell no and I probably would be Pizza you know what other person who gave it to them
@@russellbyt when I responded to you the other say the few too mini Klonopin and little liquor. I wanted to give you a better explanation. Get right wasn't just stop Adele exit I just can't handle any type of stimulants. Like the first couple times it would be a normal high I remember the first time that I had a crazy reaction to cocaine I'm having a conversation with somebody all of a sudden afraid make a contact I wasn't able to follow the conversation. My body was just can't drop where I wouldn't even move happy shaking and I was I had no idea looking at me Ciara shaking. So instead of the wisest thing and never do a drug again I figured out if I drank a bunch of alcohol I can handle it better when Dad stop working I would take a branch of Xanax. I could be in a motel go down to the lobby to get something to drink out of the soda machine and when remember what room I was in. As far as medication I'm taking everything out of the person there is. I have taken a few psych drugs prescribed for sleep. Let me finish up with something positive which is one of my closest friends it's been sober for five years he just bought me a gym membership and starting tomorrow I'm going to be working out with him everyday and eating like a health nut. So hopefully in a couple months I can give an update telling you how badass I'm doing. Take care and have a good one
@@brianwilliams6555how badass are you doing ? Tell me that you’re better my man !
@@rocketmantheone I'm doing better..I appreciate you asking buddy
"Dopamine enables successful cognitive control in prefrontal cortex. Dopamine receptors in prefrontal cortex control three key aspects of cognitive control - gating, maintaining, and relaying. The two major dopamine receptor families, D1R and D2R, assume complementary roles in cognitive control."
D1R and D2R are antagonized on psych drugs. or neuroleptics. something that they told me is supposed to make you think clearly.
Solian (Amisulpride) supposedly is an agonist of D1, but it sucks nevertheless. The key is to find a reasonable doctor, that knows that for one to develop as a human being, these drugs must be taken for short periods of time only. Now I am tapering and slowly begin to feel normal again. Once I am done I will report about my success :). But I tried many times in the past and I know that it is not easy without proper knowledge and/or supervision.
On the Chemical Imbalance Hoax
Neuroleptics, so called "anti-psychotics," do not exert their therapeutic (pharmacological target) effects on psychosis (positive symptoms of schizophrenia) by rectifying a brain abnormality, such as a chemical imbalance, nor do they target any physiological process that produces the positive symptoms of schizophrenia, but rather neuroleptics suppress symptoms of schizophrenia, by a profound slowing up and dampening down of mental processes by putting a brake on dopaminergic neurotransmission - they arrest natural brain function. Neuroleptics are major tranquilizers, neurological inhibitors, suppressants and depressants of the central nervous system. Neuroleptic means "nerve seizing". Neuroleptics work to treat psychosis by disrupting normal brain function in the reward (mesolimbic) pathway, and in the mesocortical pathway - connecting to the frontal lobe (the part of our brain that makes us human). Neuroleptics do not exert their psychosis-treating effects by targeting an underlying disease process or brain abnormality, such as a chemical imbalance, i.e. dysregulation of the dopaminergic neurotransmitter system = overactivity of dopamine neurotransmission in the 4 dopaminergic pathways: mesolimbic (reward), mesocortical (humanity), nigrostriatal (target of antiparkinsonian agents), and tuberoinfundibular (hormones, i.e. prolactin). Neuroleptics seize the central nervous system, dampen down dopaminergic brain activity, suppress function by occupying 70% - 90% dopamine D2 receptors. Neuroleptics are first and foremost psychoactive drugs. Their psychoactive effects (their global alterations of physical and mental states) treat symptoms of schizophrenia. Neuroleptics are not antidotes for psychosis. Neuroleptics are not disease-specific treatments in schizophrenia/bipolar, but rather mind altering agents producing such mental and physical alterations that suppress symptoms (superimpose upon the symptoms that they are treating). Neuroleptic effects (target and side effects) may be useful in treating (dampening down) psychotic states, but that depends on the context. They do not exert their therapeutic effects by reversing or rectifying a disease process, nor are they curative, they cannot cure psychosis, nor prevent, nor decrease the probability that one will become ill or lessen the severity of the illness (quite the contrary!). The effects of a neuroleptic can be useful, but that depends on the context, and it is not the same as fixing an underlying brain abnormality (i.e. bio-chemical imbalance). The chemical imbalance theory of schizophrenia/bipolar carries no credibility in the modern psychiatric research establishment. The researchers do not find there to be a lesion (pathology) in the dopamine neurotransmitter system that is the primary cause of schizophrenia/bipolar. The chemical imbalance theory of schizophrenia/bipolar is a hoax.
@Tadgh Meachir Absolutely not. My mind has been assaulted by far too many chemicals. It needs time and sleep and healthy fuel. I have been recovering 'myself' this way.
@@s.briand4640 what meds did u take?
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
I’m in such a dilemma because I cannot function due to anxiety and depression but also hear these stories about meds and I don’t know if I should get help or that would just make me worse in the long run. I hope there’s better solutions for people in the near future.
It will make you worse. Suffer in silence. It will eventuually subside naturally. I wish I heard those words.
Big Pharma just want one thing...and one thing only...Money And to get the MONEY they create a million of people sick ...for life Young age to late life. And the money is streaming to their pocket without any further efford
What’s the update ? Please tell me you didn’t decide to get on meds, this is NOT the way you want to go. There are natural things you can take or do that’ll help eliminate or reduce your anxiety and depression. The first thing is to identify the cause of your depression/anxiety, why are you feeling that way ?
@@rocketmantheone I did not get on meds, but also as much I don’t believe in meds, I also don’t believe in using “natural things” to heal. Tbh no one knows how to heal the mind and if someone claims otherwise they’re either lying or ignorant.
Please don't do the meds. Seek another way, there's always another way. They made me take these things uninformed and against my will, and I just wish that someone would have warned me or my family about the kind of damage that these things do to your body.
Thank you for sharing your story ❤️god bless you and love the accent! I’m in the deepest part of the wd suffering so watching these kinda videos my only comfort
Thanks Russell for your experience words..👍🏻 keep share more of your experience that gives us all heal. And one thing when do get back the creativity and intrest in doing anything , how long it will take to become feel pleasure and active , how many days/years it will take intelligence/continive function to work actively back. ?
And another thing is , what do you do for living now ?
@@russellbyt thank you so much for the reply russell B , i understand your points....all we need to be patience and to wait.
I can relate to not wanting to journal for fear of someone finding it or sugarcoating even to myself because it was hard to face how bad it was.
In my case, my thinking did get better with more time off the meds. One day at a time for improvement. Taking the process to wean off the meds slowly is vital to be successful. I tried to rush getting off them when I first tried to titrate off and it was not a good outcome. Slow and steady titration.
Glad your thinking has improved! And I 100% agree, not rushing the process is the way to go 🙌
My son has been off meds nearly 5 weeks after being on them for nearly 13 years (he is 30 now) and like you they have devastated his brain. He is also high functioning Autistic and that part of his wonderful intellligence is in shreads. Your video is my go to to continue the hope in his recovery, thank you. No other video comes close, not even Doctors that are against these drugs. Your video is real life and I love the way you cover every normal angle of these drugs and what they do. I will continue to watch. Thank you. You say in your vids, if you are still with me and basically hope I haven't bored you. They are totally gripping!
So sorry for what y’all are going through. But I’m glad my videos are giving you hope. One of the reasons I make this content is to show that even though it can take a lot longer than we’d like - we do _eventually_ recover.
Thank you for your kind and supportive words regarding the videos! It really helps to hear it :)
Much love to both of you.
thank you. this gave me some hope that I maybe can return back to my more functional self. really, this helped a lot.
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
@@adriangraham1868 when I got off of them for about 6 months my mental state (mania) got worse, it is waay harder than I thought but I still got a lot of faith and I’m working hard on it.
@@LafayetteParisa any updates?
@@adriangraham1868 I went from 4 different types of pills to "just" lithium, I take the smallest dosage and it doesn’t make me dizzy or anything. My new neurologist is in good spirit that I can live a life without it, we’re working on it. Thanks for asking. Hope you’re doing good 2.
@@LafayetteParisa I’m doing alright I’m off the medication I just hope I return to my normal self again
The first thing you said was that you didn’t read and that hit me really hard in my heart because that is the first thing I noticed is that I’m capable of reading again
Glad you got it back! It’s such a meaningful recovery milestone :)
How I missed this! I have the exact same thing you went through with same thing I just have not started coming off! I tried 6 years ago and got down to 2 mg of valium, went on a trip and got back and just could not do it. Your video was great and thinks.
Hey, happy to help! Benzos are horror-show horrible to come off of, so it’s understandable if you had to put a halt on it. It’s actually really commendable to stop there and wait for a more opportune time. It’s no doubt hard to still be stuck on the stuff and struggling, but the day will come when you’ll reach your discontinuation goal. Much love.
Insipiring and encouraging; thank you!! Currently on an antipsychotic and went through different antidepressants, recently was prescribed Vyvanse. But i feel flat, slow thinking, and just not myself. And I have a 2 year daughter, recently removed myself from an emotionally abusive relationship with her dad. So it has been a tremendous struggle, but God is good. I still have the inner voice that this medication is not for me, not for my body. So I’m taking myself off of it. I’m bracing myself for after affects. I just want to be able to spiritually connect again. I feel so impaired all the time. Blessings to you all.
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
Hello Russell! I was just wondering how you spent your time in recovery? It's been hard for me lately. Days are very long and I'm trying to stay positive and keep myself busy.
Thank god. I see hope!
I am so grateful to stumble on your channel. Your videos are so helpful. Thank you!!!
Glad the vids are helping out!
Everything you described was me. I was on abilify. I couldn't read anymore, I lost my intelligence and could no longer understand the things I used to enjoy. Lost my job, dropped out of college, had bad spending habits, lost my friends...and worst of all gained weight and contracted diabetes. All within the span of a year. Abilify ruined my life. Im glad to know im not crazy but this really is something that is haunting me but thank you.
Definitely not crazy! These drugs can be... transformative. This leads to a positive result for some, but it can be ruinous for others. It's a lot to deal with and will take a good while to work through it, but I hope you'll be able to get your life back in spite of all you've been through. Don't lose hope.
@@russellbyt thank you for your kind words!
Did you experience those symptoms while on Abilify or after coming off it?
Please dont worry. Go for wet cupping regularly and exercise
I am recently 8.5 months off adderall, Canabis, and alcohol
Took adderall and other uppers for over 8 years.
I gained 50 pounds, am depressed, struggling with motivation and cognitively.
Not sure if I can make it to the other side but trying. This video is encouraging.
Glad the video was helpful! I believe you can do it, Aurora. There’s an abyssal stage of the recovery process in which we feel like we’re surrounded by darkness while running a gauntlet through every bad thought and horrible feeling we’ve ever had. But it will not last. We do make it back to the surface eventually and in a better position than where we were before. Don’t give up. Much love to you.
In my experience, I have also lost the ability to feel emotions. Almost like my instincts are dulled. My intelligence and memory took a hit as well for sure. Did you have the same problems with your emotions and memory? Did those come back as well, if you did?
Exactly like I have been feeling and I've been off lexapro for almost 2 months. Its very scary and your not alone.
@@teceiraz8251 lexapro is a floroquinalone
And has awful wd symptoms
U have to watch what you eat and drink
Many things can destroy your healing process. I'm just over a year after my medication and still having many problems
What issues are you dealing with atm ??
Going through this myself. I’m sorry you are too.
it's basically chemical lobotomy
@@MyCraftyMind4U how do you feel now that you are off medication?
Hi Russell, I came up with a question to ask you, do you think in terms of quantity is very 100mg of fevarin (fluvoxamine) together with 2mg of risperdal, to be able to do damage?
Thanks for exposing the madness of this industry. #sicksociety
It sounds like you enjoy literature & writing. There is no way to express how much I believe you can write what you want to write and therefore express more fully what you want to express. I care for the comment section because although they are not experts in written communication & neither am I, they are here with a struggle we all share. I smoked copious amounts of marijuana as a teen and going into my twenties. I think it affected my mental health, specifically about psychosis. I’ve never been treated Ed with anti-psychotics for more than half a year, if even that long. As today I feel I could benefit from anti-psychs. Your enthusiasm about writing is clear, and dare I say sometimes a small push can help generate momentum. Have you tried writing prompts to provide you with a writing goal & writing “boundaries” so to speak, to help you write and stay oriented to the point? I’m thankful you created this video, it’s great help in my struggle with mental health.
Hi Ryan, I’m glad you found the video helpful! I can’t remember exactly what I said about writing in the vid, but I’ve gotten better at getting the words on the page and staying focused on the point of the piece. Still got a ways to go, but it’ll come with time and more and more practice.
Thanks for your comment. I wish you the best in your own life and in pursuing whatever you have the enthusiasm to pursue. And if that’s something you’ve lost, something so many of us here can relate to, then know that it will return someday. Whatever you’ve been through, and may still be going through, there’s always time to improve and heal. Much love to you!
my brother struggles with psychosis, and the medication has really ruined him I can see it. Hes not as intelligent, hes alot slower. he cant enjoy the small things in life, he seems to just sit in his room all day and kind of just be numb and senseless.
But the doctors have rejected the idea of getting him off medication..how were you able to speak to your doctor about getting off anti psychotics?
We seem to get to the same low dose with our son and then he started getting super anxious, not sleeping and then hearing voices! He did not have any psychosis until the Dr put him on a high dose of Seroquel - when he couldn't cope with it, they put him on Zyprexa. His original symptom was depression from bullying at school - his trauma has been medicated and turned into many labels. Do other people get these symptoms when on low doses?
Thanks very much for your encouragement, unfortunatley l'm hospitalized long term with no chance of coming off. I'm forcibly drugged. But l still hope to come off slowly one day. I relate to your humanity, thank you again.
Yeah I can relate. Here in The Netherlands its called a Zorgmachtiging
Hey Russell ,
I was on an SSRI for about 1.5 years. It was a strong one (Lexapro). My doc rapid tapered me over 6 weeks and by the time I found out what was wrong it was too late. Now I’m 3 years into WD and I haven’t even taken an aspirin. The first year was like a shock. Like “OMG , what have I done “
Year two is when the Akathisia started , which waxed and waned.
Now after 3 years the akathisia is worse all of a sudden. I know we’re all different with different timelines but I wanted to ask you if you’re Akathisia waved in and out with different intensity at different times in the non linear fashion ?
Also are you completely free of it or do you still get it now and then.
Jeff how r u now
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
Do you try with cbd Oil?
Hi Russ, thank you so much for posting this video and giving an opportunity to share experiences in this matter.
I first got Seroquel (took for 2 months) and afterwards Paxil (took for 4 months). I am off both for almost 2 months.
Without any disorder like Psychosis. I just felt really restless and couldn’t sleep, that’s why my doctor prescribed them.
I still feel immensely lowered in my intelligence and feel trapped in myself. It is so hard to live with that. I cannot think, feel and it is hard to hide that every time from my surroundings. I really feel that I cannot endure this any longer.
I am still going to work. But everyday is hard. I cannot deal with it....But I am so afraid to loose my job.
- What can I do? How was it with your job?
- I would love to connect to people who went or are going through the same experiences.
Maybe you know where I can find groups like that? I am really happy to hear that you got back to your old self. I would like more success stories like that.
I really don’t know how to handle all that. Every moment is hard…
Sorry for my mistakes
Greetings from Germany, Christina
@@russellbyt Hi Russ, thanks a lot. 🙏🏻❤️
@@chg6365 how do you feel now that you are off medication?
I took xeplion and I take 2 months its been hectic my brain is dump
How are you today?
Christina you are not alone. You are going to be better You need some time and try to do something you like Walking through a park Biking Painting Cooking healthier meals Juicing or making every day smoothies to give your body and mind extra healing nutrients. . Broths are also good . And remember you also have God who is waiting for you to pray and ask . Praise and worship. Maybe join to a group of people who are of your interest. Stay strong
Hey! Loved your video, it is inspiring. Did you ever leave the drugs behind during this 20 years? And what happened? Plus what triggered you to start taking the meds in the first place? Im on my fifth year, but I dont want to blame my situation on the drugs.
How are you feeling now?
If any medical professional recommends antipsychotics, I suggest you don't walk. Run like a cheetah and hightail it out of that drug-pushing money-grubbing scumbag's office. Wish I could have done the same. But being too young and in no position to oppose Dr. Drug-pusher, I had no choice but to comply. He actually threatened to have me put in an institution if I didn't. I would lose access to everything, including my car. I did get revenge, kind of. He ended up in hospital with a health problem of his own (I wondered if it was because I put a curse on him. Took too long to work if that was the case) and his daughter, also a doctor, paid for his sins when her marriage broke up. I know it's not nice to celebrate the misfortunes of those we hate, but anyone who has done what Dr. Drug-pusher did deserves what they get.
@@sharonjensen3016how are you now family? Are you feeling better ?
thank you for doing this
Happy to help :)
Thank you Russel B xoxo
I'm not as sharp as I use to be; I'm only 2-3 weeks into antidepressants. I'm noticing I'm not like how I was before (having a huge brain ability to see different and multiple perspectives and understand them).
I took antidepressants, anxiolytics and antipsychotics for a while, but I quit because I was worse than before. (I was having panic attacks, I was aggressive, I didn't coordinate well when walking, I was alert all day, drooling, I gained weight, my vision was blurry, I had memory problems, etc.), It's been three months since then and I'm better, but I still feel dull and can't think or express myself as before. At least I don't have akhathisia now.
@@russellbyt hey there. It's been 8 months; and days flew by.
*I had a paranoid episode, like a ptsd for 3 days + FEAR; and aseizure at that time.
After that I became unable to care for things I used to highly value (getting a college degree [I'm in a medical college]). And I'm like in denial that my academic ability has started to slip away, and my father and mother are pointing out that my performance has dwindled, and I see that and yet for some reason I can't seem to make it click in my head; to make fear of failing drive me for success. Like there is a very thin vale between reality and me. No psychosis, but slight delusions here and there (not severe and crazy, more towards logical) + decreased feelings experiences (anhedonia?).
I was thinking of going to a psychiatrist, or a neurologist, but mg family think I'm just trying to have an excuse for my underperformance; if a zoloft or anything would enhance my senses of reality I would gladly take it (even though I was prescribed Zoloft like 5 months ago, but didn't take it).
*My experience was like I was put on high doses of antidepressants; my senses were heightened like crazy (no hallucinations); it stayed there for a while, then I stopped the medications and my CNS crashed, and reality was less than normal levels as if I was out of it, mostly tired and anhedonic and careless.
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
Russ, thanks again man for the hope. Seroquel taper going good, can feel sadness/happiness again! you know but right now, my short term memory is out the window. Its just, not working or glitched. I'm on 78 hours without seroquel from 12.5 taper, and its going really smooth so far. Hopefully just gonna stick it out another week or so and my Manic symptoms should go away, and im really looking forward to getting myself back and doing the work. Cheers man!
@@russellbyt Thanks for the support brother! We got this - I do feel a bit fogged, and the mania is there but not severe, thanks to the taper :) You gave me hope dude, your story is very important. I appreciate these videos for us folks out here at the tail beginning - and you've clearly shown in the video the transformation. Wishing you the best man!
How do you feel now that you are off medication?
I'm just wondering if that's a good idea - coming off medication aren't you concerned about relapsing .
I have had the experience of relapsing with bipolar disorder and it gave me a reason never to stop taking medication. So in your case was it advised?
@@russellbyt I hear you, thanks
Amazing! I was 20 whatever ended up in psych ward on antipsychotic drugs,,,dropped out of one college then another could not read and I loved reading etc. thinking,,,40 some ought years later still trying to put together what happened to me,,,😊
For those of us who don’t respond favorably to the meds (and possibly psychiatric intervention overall), and there are a lot of us, they can really lock us into a state of suffering and immobility. We can’t make progress in our lives. It’s a real mess and doesn’t seem to be isolated to a small group of people.
It’s great you’re starting to clean up that mess, and probably without much help from psychiatry and other prescribers who played such a huge part in causing it. Sincerely hope you’re able to get those capabilities back and make up for the lost time as best you can!
Yep,,,❤ 😊
Same@@user-oy3mm1ke1g
Good video. I know that psych drugs are like making me sleepy, more hungry and a little bit wetting my pants with urine. Also some parkinsonism I think. The sleepy part of the psych drugs is the worst inhibitor of success in my life. I dont like psych drugs and an utopia would be that there is a psych drug free way of helping those perceived as with a psychiatric condition.
The NOLA city gov went powerful in stopping me from getting a college diploma or staying off of Psychiatry.
I mean, they know it (the Psychiatry) negatively impacts my job or college performance and knew this since I was 14.
When I was 12 I remember watching "Secondhand Lions." It's a story about a WW1 veteran's marriage to a Morrocan lady.
Well, there you go. I never was able to find the Morrocan/Egyptian/Greek lady to date, and they brutally succeeded. I am now 29, and after age 30, American dating pool calls men over 30(damaged goods.) Meaning, dating is near impossible now.
My income is commission, so idk.
It just feels like that stuff was a powerful attempt to delete my existence without getting charged for crimes by using legal medical loopholes.
Psychiatry is a danger to everyone in the United States. The damage it causes to people's lives is silent but deadly. It rips hearts, tears lovers away from each other(sometimes forever.) It's like a government solution to stopping love from happening to people.
I get what u mean bout the love part coz u can't feel emotions no more or the feeling of having a crush on someone attractive
What are your experiences with ritalin? How long were you on it for and did you need to taper it?
Hi Russell, I'm not using psychiatric drugs for 4 months, and mj already feel better, the side effects I had when I was quitting were, tinnitus, motor awkwardness, pupils dilating more and blurred vision, dysphagia. I have all passed except slight awkwardness, headache and pupils that dilate a little, I feel more myself since after the 3 month. Do you think I have organic damage since the pupils dilate a little more than they should? Or is it unlikely that I have atrophy since I'm improving a bit quickly??
Hey Cristiano, Those symptoms should go away in time, so I wouldn’t worry about lasting damage.
how are you today?
I’m on a high dose of antidepressants and struggling a lot with fatigue and trouble concentrating and remembering things. Idk if all the drugs have these side effects or if the ones I’ve tried (Cymbalta and Lexapro) have just been wrong for me.
Russell B thanks for the resources!
I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia and put on a high dose of injection of invega sustenna.
Before that, risperidone and seroquel and antidepressants,
I was really tired and fatigue and couldnt feel as good as i used to.
Used to get really brain fog to thepoint of non functioniong
So it sounds like a doc, or docs, miscategorized psych drug side effects as symptoms of a new diagnosis. Is that how you were given the schizophrenia diagnosis? That's exactly what happened to me.
How do you feel about gabapentin or baclofen. Suboxone as well. Bet you cant guess what I'm on lol The is the first TH-cam video I've ever felt in my spirit man. It's crazy how as people have big aspirations your biggest life goal is to simply get off meds .
It's scary. I'm considering tapering off my meds because I feel like they're robbing me of my intelligence. And to hear it could get worse before it gets better during the process, it terrifies me.
It is scary, and there are plenty of horror stories out there (mine being one of them in a lot of ways), but learning as much as you can about the process beforehand will give you a much better experience. It won't guarantee it'll be free of suffering. There's still some unpredictability in how we'll respond to the taper and withdrawal symptoms can pop up despite our best efforts. But that's why it's so important to start slowly and not get in a rush. It gives us the best chance to succeed in the long term.
You can check out my one of my recent videos called "2 Huge Resources for Coming off Psych Drugs Safely" to learn about 2 great resources for learning how to taper. Really helpful to visit those sites I mention!
Hi Russell, what did you do for work during the years that you were tapering? Thank you for your video.
Hi Caitie, I’d been on disability for years by the time I started tapering and had some extra financial support in addition to that, so I was fortunate enough to not have to work. But really, working, and even doing personal projects and hobbies, weren’t an option anyway due to how bad I felt. This isn’t all that uncommon for people in withdrawal. Hope you’re doing alright and glad you found the video helpful!
My mom went into psychosis in 2017 and to this day, I still remember her harrowing scream as she was being escorted by the EMTs to ambulence. The worst thing about it all is since then, my depression gotten to a point where I'm taking in fluexotine and on Ritalin for ADHD (been on these for a few months now). I pray for the day where I'll be able to structure my life without needing to play god with my own mind!
Oh, wow - that’s a lot to go through! It makes sense that it would be so difficult to handle. So hard for both the mind _and_ the heart. But I really believe that the day you’re praying for will arrive. Just stay hopeful and believe that when the time is right, you _will_ find the best path forward. Wishing you and your mom, and everyone else in your family, all the best!
I’m only 5 minutes into this video and it’s already helpful. I was prescribed 7.5 mg of Zyprexa almost a year ago. I lowered it to 2.5 about 6 months ago. I just started getting off of it a week ago. I know you’re not a doctor, but how long do you think it will be until my brain fog goes away and I get my creativity back? I’m guessing 6 months to a year.
6 months to a year is a good, conservative estimate. If you’re still not where you’d like to be at that point, don’t get discouraged. But I think there’s a fair chance you’ll have made a lot of progress by then.
I’m always hesitant to give anything resembling a prediction since it’s such an individual thing. One person might recover right away, whereas another might take years. And both could’ve taken the same med and for the same amount of time. But if you're tapering at a tolerable speed and not being slammed by withdrawal symptoms, then that’s a mostly reliable indicator you’ll heal at a good clip. Having not been on it for a super long time should help too.
I wish you all the best on your recovery journey! Much love.
@@russellbytHey Russel, it’s now been 2 months since being off of Zyprexa and I’m losing hope that I’ll ever get back to my old self. The nausea went away after about a month. The issues I’m still stuck with are all cognitive, which is the reason I got off of it. I’m afraid I was on it for too long with being on it for over 36 weeks and in that amount of time, I read that there is a 1.2% loss of cortical thickness, which is A LOT. I still don’t enjoy music anymore. I never write like I used to and I think I definitely have permanent brain damage. I think I’m starting to forget stuff about myself and the person I was before taking Zyprexa. My short term memory is still really bad. I can’t think clearly at all or focus.
Just know that you aren’t alone family! I hope you get better, I want to get off my medication so bad my doctor just discontinued my risperdone and is trying to get me to take seroquel 100 mg cause the risperdone has fucked up my sleep .. only have 18 risperdone pills left two mgs, I need a miracle
Hey Russ,
Thanks for the video
I'm noticing that I've been less intuitive and my thinking capacity is less abstract
I've only been on the medication for 5 months and just recently discontinued...
Not sure what to expect but lately I've been feeling very passive and "smily" as if I'm struggling to tap into my strength
If you could provide any solace I would deeply appreciate it
Thank you.
Hi Ed, how do you feel today? I can so much relate to that.
@@chg6365 I feel healed now, if you feel that way bro just let time pass. My neurologist told me that running is a way to heal but i mostly tried excersizing everyday and using the sauna but i would also suggest that you try to avoid worrying about anything concerning your mind and stop researching and let TIME heal you because it was a mistake i made. but the sauna literally made me feel so damn good. also bro remember that thinking abtracrtlly all the time isnt nessesarly useful.
@@chg6365 Bro another things is that you should be decisive with what you're doing.
make a decision on your health and stick to it instead of ruminating about your current state it make you stronger and you will thank yourself for it. If you on meds dont stress and but always always try to stay productive and let yourself feel horrible for as long as you need to, i was on risperidone for 4 months and now i feel great and i was able to make better descions and i would also recommend to let the pass go and focus on growth becasue growth will help you stop worrying about who you and instead help you move forwards to who you want to be, i would challenge your thinking by saying maybe you dont always have to have some mental idea 24/7 and that abtract thinking pales in comparison to having solid goals.
@@edaguilar1798 Hey Ed, thank you so much for taking your time to answer me and give advice.
I have immense problems with my thinking skills. This is an immense barrier because there are a lot of problems to solve in my life and I have a job where I need my brain.
It is so hard right now.
I hardly can make it through the day. Crawling on my hands and feet. It is just brutal.
When would it start to get better for you?
Thank you for giving me the advice to set goals and stick to them. I feel so immensely thrown back in life.
Did your intelligence also rebuild itself?
Did you tell it to your surroundings?
@@chg6365 Its something that is actually happening for you, its a way of just letting your mind heal, take everything with a grain of salt. You will be great.