7 UNHEALTHY TYPES OF MOTHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ส.ค. 2018
- Mothers and daughters have unique relationships. We hope that we laugh, confide and trust our mothers. However, all people struggle even parents. This is where unhealthy relationships develop. But, how do you know if your relationship with your mother is healthy? Well, here are 7 types of mother daughter relationship. I also give some tips on how to start building a healthy relationship!
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► HOW TO DEAL WITH A TOXIC PARENT
• HOW TO DEAL WITH A TOX...
►DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY ROLES
• DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY R...
►6 UNHEALTHY TYPES OF FATHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS
• 6 UNHEALTHY TYPES OF F...
✟ May this be fruitful for you ✟
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#motherdaughterrelationships #unhealthyrelationships #mentalhealth #mentalhealthcreator #anxiety #depression #toxicrelationships
Fixing the relationship would be great except she takes communication as a form of disrespect
That's her excuse not to deal with her self
Exactly and sees it as an attack when the truth is being metted out
Same
@Peaches Exactly
Exactly !!!
Controlling, insulting, passive aggressive, aggressively speaking, backhanded insults, and guilt trips is my mom. That and more... I dont feel like fixing it anymore.
I can only imagine how difficult it may be. Hoping for the best. Thank you for sharing.
Some relationships are not worth mending
Same. I've tried mending the relationship over the years, but now I feel like enough is enough. I don't entirely blame her, because she is from a different generation with less access to information about psychology and she comes from a toxic household herself. But it doesn't make it feel any less bad, and keeping that link is damaging my self-esteem. I wish you all the best xx
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 right there with ya! It is impossible to fix a relationship when one side of that relationship refuses to budge or take any responsibility for anything. Ever.
Same here. And it cant be fixed in many cases. My mother will never change and she thinks its everyone else's problem that they need to fix. She cant see that shes the one who needs to change and she doesnt want to anyways.
My mother is controlling yet loving...that's why I feel exhausted almost all the time when I am with her
She does not approve of my part time job, my boyfriends, my career choice...yet she wants me to be excellent. I don't know how I'm going to run if my feet are tied. Sometime I want to try things but it feels freaking guilty.
I feel extremely insecure when I'm not following her advice because she warns me of the consequences and the fact she knows better.
I can relate to your feelings my mother is like this.
Yep we have the same mom 😜 That’s what makes it so infuriating! They’re super controlling but then loving at the same time?? That’s what has made it so hard for me to walk away to this day. She DOES do a lot for me but I’m not sure how genuine her “help” is. She WANTS the accolades of being an amazing mom 🙄 Except they’re the farthest thing from anything amazing!
Thanks for sharing Lola! That is often the dynamic of those type of relationships.
My mother mentally and physically abuses me and then she tries to patch things up as if nothing happens when it works for her.
She says the past is the past but when it’s agents me she brings up all my past mistakes.
My mom does the same thing. My mom went through this as a child and teenager growing up, and she's doing it to me. But she doesn't see this as toxic. I didn't know all of these was toxic until recently when we started having our issues again like 3 weeks ago. It's crazy. Not to mention we fought the other day when she put her hands on me.
@@BRITTWOODNESHIE hey wanna talk about it over instagram or something, I totally understand.
Stuff like that hurts alot when they dont even understand that what they are doing is toxic.
My mother is emberrest of me because i love lego and i am 14
Mine too
Leo;u i feel you.
My mom is great but man... I don’t think I’ll ever be able to talk to her openly about the things that are bothering me out of fear of being judge and just that she’s just so close minded....
Sometimes she ignores me or is mad at me for days and I don’t even know what I did... lol it hurts tbh
This is currently me... haven’t said a word to her in 3 days
I get you. Whatever I say to her, she uses it to mock me
Same i hate the silent treatment now my dad does it too , where r u now?
Same sometimes we don't talk for days just because of some stupid things
You’re not alone, Michelle. I love my mom a lot, too. Whenever we’re in high point in our relationship I get the courage to tell her stuff and then she reacts with an, “Okay?” Or, “That’s normal.” She’s also ignoring/mad at me right now. But then she’ll say she wasn’t. 🤷🏻♀️
My mother criticizes my body every time she gets a chance. When I try to talk to her about the depression I experience, I get met with "What reason do you have to be depressed?".
So my mom heard me listening to this and she got mad as well as my sister. She's toxic. I'm trying to tell her how I feel, and her and my sister are trying to guilt trip me. I told my sister that sometimes you don't know the relationship is toxic until you get older and I've started to realize that. So funny how my mom says that her mother did her wrong growing up, but she can't we what she did wrong to me and what she is continuing to do to me. My feelings do not matter to her because every time I say how I feel she gets mad and wants to lay hands on me. The sooner I get a job, the better. I can no stay in the house any freaking longer.
Same, my brothers laugh at me when I say my mother is toxic. She never gave me emotional support. I'm scared for my brother, because I think he's impulsive and I'm scared he'd messed up his relahionship with his family. If he would realize that our mother's behaviour wasn't normal maybe he would understand the things about himself that are not normal..
So similar when I was younger too 😞 Super sucky but it is them not you! Stay strong and believe in yourself because I think if I could have found a way to do that, I would have suffered a lot less. And yes if you can get out of the house as much as possible. If she’s literally beating you though, isn’t there something that can legally be done?? I don’t know how old you are but have you told anyone IRL?
Well, I hope that you found that job!?
Nesha Britwood hey my older sister feels the same way and she feels I'm mom's favorite.... and she blames me for any argument mom and her have...but TBH I don't c that if u ask me mom is the best and she loves all of us equally
Yesssssssss I thought it was just me 😩😩
After dealing with a toxic mother for over 45 years my best advice is to love from a great distance. I have never regretted breaking ties to save my sanity. No relationship on earth is worth being in bondage to
There's no communication possible with my mother
She can't change
My mother didn't teach me how to do stuff, but she complain that I'm not responsible enough. And I've never done something right. When she sees I have a bad behaviour like going to sleep late, she screams and keep saying it's my fault if she can't sleep that I cause trouble to her but then she says she's worried about me. She tell me I'm irresponsible and that I don't have empathy and that I'm manipulative and that everyone in this family is tired of me. My biggest secret as a child was that I was a bad girl at home and a good girl at school.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I am sure there are so many people that can relate to what you shared.
ME 🙋🏻♀️ Read my post up top. I swear I am getting flashbacks reading everyone’s stories. It makes me feel less crazy to hear I’m not alone that’s for sure! I so wish the internet existed when I was growing up, I would have felt not so alone
@@kl6902 Yes, but Internet is quite addictive XD
Kaepora Gaebora you just described my life with my mother wtf
My mother talks about the cat, I feel that is not healthy.
I’m tired of my mom, I’m tired of fixing it, I’m tired of trying, I’m tired of trying to work things out. I’m almost 30! I’m dam tired!!! Over it! Over trying to make it work! Nd I’ll love her from a distance!
It's TRUE my mother never cared about my feelings. Shes controlling. Throws my sentimental things away
She always invades my space. She controls what I wear. Criticises everything and I feel like I never can make her happy. I can't do anything right. I'm not allowed any friends.
Have to be careful if I'm seen talking to any men even work colleagues.
I'm a prisoner in my room
My brother treats me horrible to probably coz he's seen my mum do it all my life.
I hope you’ve found the strength to put her in her place and leave her behind . Much love to you
Jesus Christ I’m so sorry. That sounds horrible... How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I’m guessing like early 20s with some of the things you said... but anyways that really sounds unhealthy and I hope you found a solution of some sort 🤍
Leave her. Move out
My mother is the only person on earth that misinterprets the tone of my voice. I could be in a very good mood. However, if she asks me a question or I'm simply talking to her, without warning she'll accuse me of having an attitude. She went from zero to sixty this morning for absolutely no reason at all, because she thought I had an attitude. Over the years, I've learned to give her the silent treatment and keep my distance. I can't convince her she's wrong, because she is always right. She's not the type to apologize or admit she could be wrong. Usually, she'll start speaking to me first. However, the way she carried on this morning, I won't speak to her for the remainder of the week. I can be cold too. She used to give me the cold shoulder when I was a child for days. Now it's her turn.
Same here, I always answer her in a calm quiet tone and then she responds with rants and raves like a fucking maniac. And i just look at her like crazy.
Wow this sounds like my mom. Mine is also a very negative person. She never compliments or encourages. She has literally only told me she loved me one time when I was in high school. Never praise. When I was looking for a job out of high school, she never encouraged my search. All she did was give reasons why I *couldn’t* work and wouldn’t be able to get a car. All that did was motivate me to prove her wrong, which I did. But it’s like she resents me. She grew up with a critical Dad and we were not allowed to talk if we ever got in trouble. She would tell back we were back talking. I’ve caught her lying to make me wrong and her appear right. It’s like an obsession to make me a bad child. Yet my younger brother and sister weren’t treated this way. It really reminds me of the Joan Crawford movie Mommie Dearest. She only took her anger out mostly on that oldest daughter. She didn’t treat the younger ones that way. My dad is great! He’s quiet and passive and always showed us love with hugs and laughing. Mother never has. It’s mentally exhausting.
Nothing is ever good enough for my mother. It leaves me on unstable ground. It makes me feel like my best is never good enough. I almost drove myself crazy trying to make her happy with me, make her proud of me. I struggle with my own self worth as a result.
Dev Coco same here 😣 I stopped trying to please her my senior year of high school because I had so many psychosomatic symptoms and felt so much anxiety and stress and even with a 3.4gpa, she’d bitch and moan. So my thinking was, if you’re gonna bitch and moan no matter what I do, then I’m going to stop trying so freakin hard that I’m making myself physically sick! I stopped giving any fucks about what she thought and it was the best decision I made in those teen years. But I can feel even now the little spot in the back of my heart that hopes this moment will be the moment she supports me and is proud of me...it never happens of course but my heart wishes so badly she was a loving, kind, supportive mom!
This is unfortunately. Trust yourself and pour into your self worth. Positive affirmation and journaling are a good way to start taking your worth back!
Ughh sameeee
Girl I totally relate to this
I can relate
My mom is very toxic, verbally abusive,manipulative...you name it. It hurts.
🔚🔜🆕🆓🆙🔝
My mother doesn’t show me any love or care. I used to question if anyone loved me.
3am Queen if I question stuff like that she starts yelling something like shut your mouth and curse a lot along with it
I go through the same problem, You’re not alone
Jesus lives you and I pray that you find peace.
Jesus loves you❤
THE GOSPEL: We are all sinners and it is impossible for us to save ourselves. Good News: Jesus Christ, the Son of God died on the cross for our sins, was buried, rose again the third day. He died for ALL your sins, past, present, future. Put your faith in Him as your Savior and you are saved and going to heaven forever. Only faith alone in Christ alone will save you, ZERO human effort or works. Salvation is a free gift open to everyone. Once saved, always saved.
Do you believe the gospel?
Yes. No.
I hope you feel loved now. You deserve to be happy.
Me and my mum are every one of these. I honestly can’t wait to move out, I have a couple of years but tbh I can’t take it. She also makes promises but doesn’t commit, I wanted to model (I was offered when I was younger then I said no.) Then she told me yes and she’ll find a agency. I found myself and she got mad when I told her the ones I found and basically said “no you gotta go to school.”
I can hear that this is a hard situation. I encourage you to focus on your strengths and what is in your control. I know that communication is not always an options. Thanks for sharing and watching!
That’s so tough ((hugs)) I can definitely relate. If an idea wasn’t my moms then it was automatically invalid and no good. It’s so frustrating especially when you’re still living together. I’m really sorry you’re hurting.
Just wanted to add that my sophomore year was by far the most toxic year with my mom and the only way I could deal with her was by being gone as much as possible. Not hanging out up to no good , obviously she would have put me on lockdown if I did that lol I got involved with everything I could do I...came home did homework and went to bed. I’m not saying this is a solution but I was in a very very dark place and I didn’t want to feel like there was no reprieve. I joined clubs, sports, academic teams, tutored, babysat and eventually after school/weekend job. It kept me out of the house and there wasn’t much she could say about it cuz I was doing good. Wasn’t my #1 choice to do all that, I was a teenager afterall lol but it definitely beat being at home with her all the time. ;)
My mom ask me to marry soon so that she can't see me and live with her jerk son who is a devil...her son is everything to her and I am nothing
Watched this & cried. I’m not in a good situation right now. I’ve been super depressed. I’m 28 years old, still living with my mom. It’s just me & her. My brother moved to another state to get away. Now that it’s just me & her, it’s been hell. I honestly can’t take it anymore. I can’t talk to her. Every discussion becomes a fight. She loves playing the victim & makes it everything seem like I’m the one in the wrong. I’m over here almost 30 years old, & being treated like I’m 5. There’s no communication, just yelling & defensive back talk. She never let’s me finish speaking when I try to talk with her. She uses the excuse that she needs to interrupt me or else she’ll forget what she needs to say. And that’s the issue. She doesn’t listen, she’s always needing to say something. I’m eventually moving soon as well. Trying to land a new job to I can make enough to just get the hell out. She’s broken my spirit, I have no motivation to be successful. She’s always making feel like I’m not good enough for her. I’m tired of being controlled by her. I’ve never been so depressed in my life.
Hope you’re better now 🙏🏾💜
27/28 yrs old is the Saturn return, of course what you’re going through is situational, but could also be more
Ummm your mama probably so angry & bitchy cause she still has a FULL GROWN 28 year old at home HELLLLOOOO
Awww dear I really relate to that. Dont worry with God Everything will be fine. Thank God I live by myself.
@@Kwood10 still no way to treat your child if she wanted her gone she has the right to say so . Not act like a bitch when she doesn’t get her way (no offense girl 🙌🏾)
I never want to fix anything with her... She's done enough damage
Some relationships are not worth mending no relationship is worth sacrificing your mental health for. My mother and I have a dismissive/critical relationship and she had me at thirty-three years old.
Patricia the booke right?! Especially if the mother refuses to listen to reason and is full fledge in denial 🙄
@@kl6902 What you should do is focus on the relationship with yourself and practice self care.
All of them.
Thanks for sharing!
Same💔not alone
Yah same.
My momma is literally all 7 of these characteristics. With therapy and support from my partner and other family members, I’ve been able to distance myself without guilt.
Her talking about boundaries: "Knock on the door-"
Me, who has a mother who will not let me have my door closed during the day, and comes into my room multiple times at night or when I'm sleeping, did nothing except scream in my face when I self harmed, made me stand in front of a blazing bonfire with a jacket on so nobody could see the scars, and has threatened to hurt me if I don't follow her orders, constantly tells me to exercise, calls me lazy, and that it I can't complete one assignment due to technical difficulties, I'll never make it to college, and expects me to be grateful to her: :0
I’m sorry 🖤
Girl! Listen you’ll make it to college! I went through all of those things and I was able to graduate and guess what no one in my family showed up just my fiancé! That’s the confirmation I needed to realize that they don’t care they rather see me fail. It hurt but that’s why I moved 400 miles away and I’m getting married confidential so I don’t have to deal with the rah rah shit from my family who acts bananas With my fiancé even though he’s always been nice to them. These people are pure demons.
This woman is the best at pointing out how my mother makes me feel like shit 💛👌
I had my room covered in posters and my door with posters of my favorite celebrity since I was a young teenager. I came home the other day to find she had taken down every poster on my door and the majority of the posters in my room. I am honestly heartbroken and still am upset with her
My mom and dad are very controlling, critical, negative and fighting in their relationship with me. They have become super toxic and it is so terrible and horrible that i am separating myself from them 😢💔
Same
I had physical fights with my Malignant Narc Mother.She would slap us in the face and I would lose it.She is still alive and I am 64.I will never heal until she is gone.
People get healing in different ways. I hope that you can find yours.
sandra perkins i feel the same way you do I’m 20 my mothers 40 but I sometimes feel like I won’t ever have my peace if she’s here ..
Me and my mom fought the other day. She hit me first and it was on.
Nesha Britwood oh man that would be satisfying as hell 😜
That’s real sad mums are supposed to love us :(
Did she call the police on you
Same my mum hit me today bc she knows I won’t hit her bc I’m not a violent person but I need to get away from here she’s so toxic this family has always been depressing I find myself literally crying for no reason bc of how my life’s been due to my parents
My mom hits me always everytime i do something wrong she even calls me a pig and a dog and says she wishes she never had me
For my entire life, I have been experiencing all of the unhealthy relationship types you mentioned, except dismissive. My mother and I have a truly toxic relationship.
7 Types Of Mothers controlling Critical.. Fighting Relationship.Joking Relationship.MaMa Drama.Dismmissive Relationship.....No Boundaries.Thanks
my momma is all of these .. no choice but to eventually go nc working on it.. there is no other way she is extremely toxic .. psychopath crazy everything is bad bad bad can't take it any more .. my husband can't my daughter can't .. my brother can't .. no one who is actually in the family can stand to be around her any longer than 2 minutes .. it's getting worse and worse as she ages and closer to the death she so fears because she knows she's going to hell! . no one that bad can possibly be saved.. ain't no way!
@@overcomer4196 SORRY ..TIME SHOULD HELP.
What if your mom has mostly all these problems?
@@MsamerieJohnson Then thats a very Toxic mother..Shes all of them.Thats hard..
Amerie Johnson a lot of them do and I’m willing to bet there is something a lot more serious going on with the moms who fit every category. Mine was all of these things and then some.
My mother told me that she wanted to abort me. The only reason she had me was to prove to my father I was indeed his.
That's such a bad thing to do. I'm sorry that she said that.
Don't know how I came upon this video, but it was just at the right time. I'm a grown woman and just a few hours ago I had a huuuge fight with my mom. The kind we so often had when I was a teen, with yelling and tears and absolute insanity. She fits the Critical, Fighting, Mama Drama types, with a sprinkle of Controlling. I say a "sprinkle" because she always tried t control me secretly, manipulated me, rather.
I love her to death, but damn, I can't take these fights anymore. They take me into such a bad place mentally and afterwards I revert to my old eating disorders or self destructive habits when we have them.
I had moved out for years and it was fine. Now, me, my husband and baby daughter must live with my folks for a while until we renovate a place we have, and every damn thing resurfaced. Ugh... I really, really pray I won't be toxic with my daughter.:(
Thank you for this video. You are so positive and uplifting, just what I needed. :)
I know all types of abuse is dreadful but I hate to say it. I would of rather gotten beaten more than to deal with mental and emotional abuse. Physical scars heal. Mental emotional scars affect your lifestyle and almost never heal or go away
Rio2k I feel you sis
Amia Brackett I hope you realize that you have purpose. Live for Jesus. I also hope that you don’t believe her. Harsh words from others can’t dictate your life. Just be free and happy.
Amia Brackett wow. Well it’s not your fault. No one can blame you for someone else’s actions. His lost he cheated. That’s on the person not you. If your in a situation where you are forced to be around your mom and have no other place to go. Try to love her at a distance. I have to do that sometimes.
This is the best video I have seen on the topic so far. THANK YOU SO MUCH. You're amazing and the content really helped.
Thanks so much!
Just found this at a time where I really needed it. Thankful for you and your being candid and open about an issue that a lot of girls face. It can be really detrimental to us as women and I appreciate you giving it a platform so we can heal ❤️ you’re an angel
I love this video!
Sometimes, I have found that silence works best especially if the other person is unwilling to listen or thinks you talking hot air.
My mother was controlling, demanding, criticizing, if I'm upset, she doesn't say a word! No support, I can't talk to her about anything, so i have distanced myself now...all my life I have had lack of self confidence because of it, so getting through life was tough... Some of us can't talk to our mothers, because of their attitude
You’re unapologetically you and I admire it. You bring all of your personality and heritage to our work and its magnificent. Thank you
Thank you so much!! I really want people to be aware and encouraged! I want others to feel that they can be unapologetically themselves :)
I believe in toxic situations (speaking from experience) it’s okay to let go and it doesn’t matter if that is your blood. If they are effecting your peace and mental health always choose yourself first. Some people may say “well that’s your mom that’s cold hearted” remember that because they have had a healthy relationship with their parent it could be that they could never fathom the mental and/or physical abuse you’ve experienced from... let’s say for example... narcissistic parents. The way they view their children is different from a person who is not narcissistic. But hey, that’s just my opinion and wanted to let anyone that is in my position know that it’s okay to choose yourself. This is your body that you have to live and operate in, always choose you.
Girl yes! Thank you for this!
Rashawnda, thanks for this video. I have a daughter that is 15. I only have two more years before she may possibly go off to university. She is visiting her grandparents this summer, so I wanted to look at our relationship and work on improving my understanding of her. It is always good to take a look at ourselves as parents and pursue the best relationship we can with our child.
🏆💎
There should also be a mixed type too.
There can absolutely be mixtures of the different types.
Just finished the video and pressed subscribed. I like the way you talk and explain things. Easy to understand. Thank you
My mother is a perfectionist and only cares about what others think. She changed after I got married and changed from Christian to African spirituality and my mom got my whole family against me because she doesn't like my change in faith. I have been healing from this one video at a time.
Good Afternoon watching from Maryland I really appreciate this video I come from a narcissistic family and it took me over 20 years to finally say enough my mother and I don’t have a very good relationship but I am at Peace
Oh man this hit a spot. Thank you, your channel seems really great 👍🏼
Thanks so much!!!
There no way you can negotiate with Asian toxic mom!!!
Look forward to more from you. Found this very timely and informative. Thanks for sharing.
Holy mother of god, this hit home! lol Just finding this video because I'm doing some introspective work on myself and this definitely is one of the origins of my lack of self confidence. Thank you! Love the video!
Same
Me and my mom are constantly arguing. I have two other siblings who dont have this issue with her. Im 12. But since I could remember weve but heads. I dont know if this is common,unhealthy but I know ive got like 6 more years left in the same house with her.
same way with mom and i also have 2 other siblings. the only advice i can give to you is keep your head down, find a hobby or job(if you can work, save up)
My mother keeps bossing me around and it breaks my heart cuz i feel like im being used😿💔
I am the mother and I see myself in some of these scenarios. I see the effects like low self esteem. I want to repair our relationship. My daughter is 18. I don’t want to see her make mistakes that will have an adverse effect on the remainder of her life.
Ok I am loving you shirt! ! And of course I love all of your videos 😁😁
Thanks I got it from WNHS!
Sooooo what do you do when your mom does ALL of these things? I mean every single one in one person...
HeyTaren 😂😂 I think half this comment thread is asking the same thing. Obviously if you absolutely can’t communicate with your mom and she is super toxic then you have to let her go at some point. If she is someone who can come around to your viewpoint eventually, there could be hope.
Thanks for responding to her comment!
I agree with what Beach Mama said. It is all about know what you can and can not handle in your life. This make the healthy and realistic choice.
You get older move on your own forgive and love from a distance you don’t have to deal with it when you grown,I live a hour away I see my crazy mom maybe once a year and it doesn’t bother me 1 bit it’s the most healthy thing you can do for yourself is cut her off.my therapists confirm it’s okay to cut her off even tho it’s your mom.your mental health is more important
Same smh
The first 2 are definitely my mom and it drives me crazy. Trying to figure out how to communicate my feelings is a struggle because I don’t want her to call me ungrateful or anything. But I know if something isn’t said we’ll end up not taking like how my mom and grandma don’t talk.
Thanks for sharing with us!
My mom can be a bit overbearing when it comes to my social life and it can be quite annoying. At least she cares.
For years, my mom and family used to compare me to my sister when my sister got her learners and driver's license before me. I finally got it, and passed on my first try, and no one congratulated me even though I was so proud of myself. Not even my one best friend who I knew for a decade was happy for me... The only person who was actually outwardly proud and happy for me was my boyfriend and I don't think he'll ever understand how much his support helps me and pushes me to be the best I can be. My love for him is truly boundless.
Loved the video! You were very informative and fun to watch!
Thanks so much!
That’s how I Feel what my parents Specially my mom and step dad
Great video again. This can help my sister and Mom relationship
I am glad that I can help!
God bless you for being the sister willing to help mend the relationship 💜
My mom constantly is rude to me and insults me and i dont understand why
Am sorry to her that my keeps calling me a slut
Just found you! I freakin love you… your presence is so comforting… 💕💕💕
I’m so glad I came across your channel. Thank you 🙏🏾
Me too ☺️
GREAT JOB!! 🏆💎
Thank you so much for this ❤️
SO TRUE...I have PTSD being around my mom because of so many past arguments that it's not even pleasant anymore,sorry to say. No one even has no clue how much.
am 22 years old. My issues or what my mom says is that i have a bad attitude or a strong personality. She tells me that I should change that about myself. She still cleans after me goes after me when things do not go here way. When I try to pull my of independence she looks at it like a threat. Any type of opinion I have is set aside. I feel like I have to take her as a consideration over any type of decision. I hate I hate fighting with her. Or anything negative that has to do with her. I want to respect my mom. But I want here to respect me to. And for here understand me as much as I want to understand her.
yep that's my mother.. lost a lot of weight and she gets mad!! lol these people are sick! everyone else congratulates me oh no not her it's like I did something to hurt her .. no it was for MY good and well being! it's always twisted to be about THEM! how could I possibly achieve at something she has failed at for over 40 years? that really ticks her off! it'd be funny if it weren't so sickeningly sad and heartbreaking. to have a real relationship with a mother that loves you would be so awesome. some of us aren't so blessed in that area. :'(
GRACE SMITH 😣😣 even though they piss us off and we know they’re crazy, a part of us still wishes they could be that mom we all wish we had. They just will never be.
You're not alone.
I hurt my foot once and telling my mother I couldn't weight bare as in stand up on it, she replied well if you lost all that weight...
They wish they had a different daughter that’s for sure
It hurts so much to grow up lacking maternal love. I believe I became bisexual because I long for that maternal love I lacked. the wounds she put in me I can’t undo. Ever since I moved out our relationship improved a lot but I still feel she isn’t right to focus so much on appearance. She’s apologized for past incidents but sadly being honest apologies don’t take it back. But I will never admit that to her.
This video us sooo on point every topic. She is controlling, critical, always worrying, always needing to state the things that I need to improve on even when Im responsible and thriving in every aspect in my life (and there is ALWAYS something that can be improved upon) , always skeptical on whether I'm telling the truth or not, never showing any empathy or sympathy or care to my emotions, everything is made into something more serious than it really is.
I'm always feeling like I'm playing defense and she never takes any information I provide into account so it's the same complaints over and over and we go around in circles and get nowhere. When I try to open up and tell the truth on certain things, I get criticized and makes them worry/trust me even less.
I know she does all this out of 'love' bc ultimately she wants me to succeed and will always "support" me, but that support comes with all of the above I mentioned so it never feels genuine but instead feels like something she feels she' "has" to do as a mother. I've told her I would trade al that kind of support for some real love and empathy/ emotional support . Lastly, I've never been told by my parents they love me, never been given a hug or kiss from them (which that may be a cultural thing) . Support isn't support when it's only given under her circumstances.....its become a tn environment where every time I have to communicate with her, I have to prepare for unpeasantness and to bit get broken down
My mom always points out my flaws same as my siblings. When I was younger I was obese, last year I started starving myself and I got skinny. Now they make fun of me for being to skinny. Recently my sister told everyone I was in a relationship with a girl, I was not 100% sure if I was ready to come out. I wasn't comfortable with telling my mom, scared she would make fun of me. I was right, she made fun of me. She told all of her friends. My sister told everyone as well. I got mad and sent my sister a text saying, " Why did you not ask me for your permission to tell people." She told me that she doesn't need to asked permission because shes older. I just texted something about me not coming over until she grows up. My mom clings to my other siblings. Gets them everything, all I wanted is a mother that loved me. She told me that she didn't love me after I sent my sister a text. My sister is my mothers best friend and me... I wish she just got an abortion so she didn't have to do this too me!
It until until NOW fo me 32 with children of my own to realize this....I love my mom to death will do anything for her...IT'S MY TIME...to grow up and BUCK THE SYSTEM...No matter how much I try to communicate MY NEEDS AS A GROWN WOMAN is being unheard..I'll have to REINFORCE my boundaries and respect because she doesn't believe she should give me that because she's MY MOTHER....Y'ALL it's about to be WWIII and I honestly don't like, don't want to do it, and it saddens me. It's something I HAVE to do because I am capable of thinking for myself, but most importantly it's a power struggle for my children and i don't want them to ever feel like that they don't have to listen to me (btw i stay with my mom)...
Pray for me.... I'm off my soapbox now....
kiayonia any update?? You go girl! I’m 43 and pretty sure I just cut my mom out finally. I’m not sure how that’s gonna go but she’s so seriously toxic, she’s bad for my health. My moms favorite was “because I said so! I’M THE MOM AND YOU’RE THE CHILD!” And that means what?? Children have no basic human rights?? 🙄She likes to say...end of discussion! 😂 Mom...it doesn’t work that way..I’m not 14 anymore but thanks for playing 🖕🏽
First thanks for getting on the soapbox! It take strength to constantly reinforce the boundaries and affirm your need for respect. I commend you taking the time to be aware!
Wow that is my relationship with my mother. I rely on her financially and to pick up my boys and I feel like I have to listen to everything she says. Our relationship played a part in my divorce but I feel like I have nobody else in my corner. Now that I’m in a new relationship and he is complaining about the same things my ex husband used to have a issue with. I now realize we need boundaries. Smh
I felt this entire video!
Lol, I’m 21 . I was once in the shower and had my phone unlocked playing music. My mom came into my room to ask me something and took my phone. Bc I didn’t really hear her I got out the shower and saw my phone missing. I guess she didn’t expect me to be out of the shower so soon as an attempt to hide what she did she had to leave it on the kitchen counter top and sit down like she wasn’t doing anything. Like can I have some privacy.
My mum verbally abuses me constantly and I feel I’m never enough I cry all the time because I wish she will sit and listen when I’m having a bad day or a reassuring hug that everything will be fine
I’m very depressed and I sometimes feel like I’m loosing my mind
Everything I do is never enough
And blames me for everything
She hates it when she’s wrong and I try to tell her politely she attacks me
I’ve thought about leaving home and starting a new life
I’m 20 and I feel everything in my life is a mess I feel empty 😭😭😭😭
Yeah I feel that too. I've never cried in front of my mom entire my 20 year life. She never listen to me and reassure me when I'm feeling sad or dealing with a problematic situation. She always nag at me eventhough sometime she's the one who does the wrong thing. Entire 20 year life, I've never felt any warmth from her 😭😭 don't know how to cope with that 😖😖 plus don't have anyone to talk about this 😬😬
its really sad that my mom is all of them where we had the police, social worker etc and she does not change no matter of those important people go. I moved from her house and she still going on even if im far and yes I suffer from anxiety, child trauma, depression bc of her
My mother was emotionally abusive and I learned to see her as another person and not a mother-moved away and learned not to live by her opinions and found my self worth away from her and was the best thing to do-for myself as a person because people do not change and we have to find the way to deal with them that will be in our best interest
Watching this and I actually started crying because I can relate to everything in this 💔
Opppp this is a good one!
Thanks so much!
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My mother treat me as 2nd class child while her son is her everything even if he is a jerk....
Good video!
Glad you enjoyed it
My mom is overly dramatic and shes always joking about me too i feel like im walking on a mine feild its sad becuse we used to have a greate relationship but once i decided to drop religion then our relationship is just really bad now
Im really sorry to hear about the change in your relationship with your mom. I encourage you to communicate but care for yourself in the process. Thanks for sharing and watching!
They impose religion, so they can pretend you don't experience and that even if you turn 37 or 42, you'd only have sex to pro create and with the sanctity of an expensive wedding.
My mom is Critical and it make me cry sometimes 😭💔
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If I get good grades and do whatever my mother wants, she loves me. If I fail or get angry at her for something even once, she starts yelling at me like an immature child or she tells me that I will fail at adulthood (even if she encourages me at other times). My relationship with her has been terrible ever since I was a few years old. I wasn't able to talk until a bit later than what's normal, because of a disability I have, and she was the only one in my family who didn't believe in me. Then, the controlling and criticizing started, and the fighting continued after that (and never completely stopped.) However, I won't let her stop me from accomplishing my goals, no matter how much she drains me! At least I have my grandparents (on my dad's side), friends, and my other family members rooting for me!
My mom always says that she'll run away, no matter what I do she'll never be happy, I always have to run as fast as I can when she calls me. One day she's that loving mom and the next she's the scary manipulative one... I love my mom so much, but she always says that she'll run away to another country. She ignores me when she's in a bad mood and only cares about work. I wanted to show her something I was proud of and all she said was "some people here have work!"
My mom when she's mad at me she will say things that hurt me like saying I was a mistake and that it's my fault she will die... and well sometimes she uses the things I love against me to get me to do what she wants :( everytime my mom comes home there's always a fight ... I hate it..
My mom is all of the above and I’m 16 so right when I turn 18 I’m moving without notice
OMG Thank you so much for not making it NOT so dark......I've been in other sites that are nasty and throwing their mom under the bus.THanks
You are very welcome! I am glad you enjoyed the video. Thanks for watching!
Girl your dark skin is so beautiful, this really blessed me.
You’re awesome!
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this is very informative...i like this.
Glad you think so!
My mother literally has all of these traits. She has gotten better at the boundaries because I wont let her go there anymore.
Thanks for making this video! My mother falls into like 5 out of the 7 types
I loveee my mom but I know we have a unhealthy relationship,she always comparing me to other people,putting me down,spreading drama everywhere and fighting me.But what is more hurtful is that she only treats me like this,I am the middle child and even on Christmas she gave my siblings expensive gifts and for my nothing just bc she gave me 15 dollars on my birthday that was on 14 December,I’m just exhausted at this point
Wow😊😊😊we are in the same situation ....but I love her to death😍❤..and my birthday is also on 12th dec
my mom found out i self harm the other day and she said that she deals with crazy people at work (she works in a clinic) and that she won’t deal with me to. she always makes me feel like shit and expects to to behave like nothing happened and i really don’t know what to do
Me and my mom have always been sooo close almost like sisters from like age 11 and this dynamic always worked best for us compared to others we had when I was little but my parents are getting divorced and it’s the type where my dad kinda just took off and it feels like I’m always comforting her and it’s hard sometimes that we are so equal
Almost every one of these applies to my life. My mother is a very good provider and has always made sure I had food, clothes, and education and even material things that I wanted I got. But she’s not been emotionally there for me since I was 6 she started having an affair. My dad was cheating on her first tho (No. that doesn’t justify her actions). My dad died and she’s still with the man she had an affair with. This man and his sister abused me and my sister and my mom didn’t do much about it. No matter how wrong he is, she always takes his side. But god forbid I say one thing in criticism of him and I’m the bad guy all of a sudden. It’s put a HUGE strain on our mother daughter relationship. I hope to move out soon. This toxic environment has taken its toll on me physically, emotionally and spiritually. It just seems to get worse as I get older. She gets very angry and defensive when I try to talk to her about it so I’ve given up. As long as he’s in the picture, she won’t listen to me and things can’t be fixed.
Happy Puppy I am sorry to hear that I can relate just pray God bless you
PLEASE stop trying to fix it, because it can't be fixed without your mother's help...and your mom is incapable of working on your relationship, as she is 1.in denial, and 2. in an obsessive relationship with her man. Time to let go, and focus completely on yourself. I didn't learn to do this with my parent until I was in my forties. Don't wait that long to take care of you. Bless you!
I’ve been trying to communicate for the past 23 years of my life and it doesn’t work she literally ranked five out of seven of those relationship types I’m speechless
My mother falls into the nitpicking/controlling type but not in the stage mom kind of way. No, it's more like nothing I do or say isn't good enough in her eyes. We can talk civilly about surface things like the weather, what's for dinner, but anything deeper, oh that's cause for her to judge/criticize/control. We barely speak or text, and BELIEVE me, we've tried to reconcile so many times.
My mom is ALL of these. My family dynamic is toxic and other people see my worth rather than my actual family
My mom is controlling she bearly asks me how am I or about my day the first time she sees me it's just "do this" or "I have a chore for you". She treats my brother's every different from me she bearly gives them chores when I have a whole list of them
I’m here after my 7 year old told me she just wants to be a good daughter with no problems. Broke my heart. I have to do better.
You are still a good mom because you recognize it and you are willing to change
my mother always comments on how I look n how I live. The worst thing is she is very narrow minded which is pissing me off lately. She also exaggerate things n always fights with me.😭😭😭😭 I just want a mom whom I can talk to not someone who always fights with me for simple misunderstandings.