Social Anxiety RUINED My Life (How I Recovered)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ส.ค. 2023
- Inside this video:
I'm going to share my personal story of dealing with social anxiety and how I overcame it.
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My name is Jared Hobson. I’m a musician and small business owner that lives in Alaska.
Fuck anxiety.
I won't be slave to this anymore.
God is with me, He will guide me protect me and direct me.
I am unstoppable
I’m with you man, we got this
I'm 40 years old and it's been 15 years since I've barely left my room. It's scary, we're always waiting for help that never comes
Yes, it’s extremely scary, but ultimately it’s up to us. I pray you get enough strength to push past those fears and overcome them.
@@JaredAHobsonAmen🙏🙏
Hi Jean, you are not alone. I am also 40 and coping with social anxiety since 2011. Seeds are more likely childhood seeds. I am also tired of struggling with it. I cried a lot, did not know what to do, can not ask even help. At the beginning i started to use medicine ssri which help me keep away from my thoughts. Life could not be more bright. I lived like a zombie for years, than i realise the med couldnt help me more with serotonin levels. At that point i quit from working life and start a depending life to my family. It is not you only one living your situation. I want to say hi to you and you are not alone. I believe there are so more people like us dealing with this disorder. Maybe help will not come but i want you live your life happily. If there would be an island for social anxieties we would be the first landers. 😂😂😂 warm hugs. ❤❤❤
Your message touches me terribly, thank you, thank you my brother. You are like the hand that was never extended to me, bless you wherever you are. 💗@@halostar9860
I am no fap@@paypalbaki
I’ve only just learnt that we get socially anxious because the amygdala in the brain which is responsible for fear processing, it learns that faces can be dangerous so we become really anxious to the poses threat of a social situation. I can so relate to you! In the lockdowns I developed a lot of social anxiety where I couldn’t look people in the eye and hold a conversation. I was so self conscious and insecure about the way I came across in convos and social situations. Sadly it really lowered my confidence. I still struggle from time to time but my advice for anyone else who is struggling is you are not born with it and you won’t have it for the rest of your life. It will get better day by day. Rewire your brain not to treat socialising as a danger. It’s so easy to think your alone in it and it can become quite frustrating but it’s a form of anxiety. It can be treated, it can be healed. Also confidence doesn’t just come out of thin air, it’s really just learnt by retraining your mind to think differently about yourself.
Yes I remember reading about that. It makes a lot of sense. Thank you for sharing part of your story. Everything you said was very good and very accurate.
I am 26 years old now.I have been struggle with social anxiety my entire life.Thank you for sharing.❤
It’s definitely a big struggle to fight. Keep fighting it. Don’t let it win.
You’re welcome! Glad you got something out of it.
Little bit of advice that may help. It isn't a struggle, it's a dance. Don't let it control you, move around it. Don't push it away, slowly introduce small things that are out of your comfort zone. You have to be unformfortable to get help with social anxiety, but I promise you, it'll be worth it. I've been dancing with it for my whole life, and it's controlled me at times. You can do it, mate
I hate this time of year because it stays light out too long. I love the winter because it's dark at 5. I feel more comfortable not being seen.
I understand that. I’ve learned that sometimes what’s comfortable is not always the best thing for us in the long term. You don’t have to be in the spotlight per se, but it’s not always good to be invisible even though it’s more comfortable. I’ve struggled with the same thing and it may be scary or uncomfortable to step out at first, but it is worth it. That doesn’t mean it will be easy after you step out, but slowly begin to start feeling like you don’t need to hide anymore. I hope some of that helps. Let me know if you have any questions! I’ll do my best to answer them.
This video is really a eye opener. I ruined my college years,the most precious years a teenager can have just because I didn’t felt comfortable talking to new people. Most of my college mates went to trips,parties,new locations,did many things that they will remember throughout their life and found new friends who will probably stick with them their whole life but I wasted those years fearing and shutting down myself in my room. Now when I look back into my college life or someone asks me about it….there is nothing I have to tell them. I feels like those 3 years were just skipped from my life and I had no memories of those years. It’s really really scary when I think about it. That’s why I am doing my best to improve myself. And those who are struggling with the same things that I am,there is no other solution,no matter how many books you read,how my videos you watch until you get off you bed..go into the outside world and muster the courage to talk to a new person. When doing this You will feel like dying from inside but this is the one and only solution….. I Hope we all do very well❤
Yes… there is no substitute for going out and practicing and doing what you have learned to do. You can study and learn how to overcome anxiety all day, but it will not help you at all until you actually go out and do it.
Same story here
I wasted all of my 20's and most of my 30's now due to my social anxiety problems. I'm 38 and have basically done nothing with my life. I also always had some issues with learning things that also led to low self confidence issues. If it wasn't for allowing myself to succumb to all these issues, absolutely nothing would have stopped me from going out and getting an education or learning some type of marketable skill, and making something of myself. I've spent my whole adult life lost and unsure where I fit in and what to do. Trying to pick the pieces up and make something of myself before I get older and things get even harder.
I am 28 now and i had just turned 18 when i realized i have social anxiety disorder. Then i have ruined my ten productive years hiding myself from everyone. I have little hope to overcome it in the coming days
brother nepal kata bata ho??
@@hemantabhandari4225 Pyuthan and you ??
@@deepakneupane2055 jhapa bata
Same bro i m 23
I’m 55, just have to manage as best you can. I refuse to take medication, it doesn’t work long term. Also side effects. Don’t ever give up. Worst is people drawing attention to you in social situations. Ignorance of others even when you explain to them how uncomfortable you are in certain situations. It’s like being on fire
I also have social anxiety. It's ruining my life. I can't face anything. When I talk with others i don't have words to say also. Because I get scared and anxious. When I am in a group I also can't focus on the situation and thinking of how other people think of me. It's so bad😢😢😢
Just stumbled across this video randomly at 3am and your words are encouraging. Currently working on being able to go out with friends and not be anxious around them/being anxious whenever I'm out in public. Sometimes I can push through it and other times its pretty rough but I always make sure I can see through it to the end of whatever plans I have whenever I go out. Only thing that gets in the way is sometimes when I get anxious I feel nauseous and I'm not sure how to fight that other than just taking medicine. Thank you again for making this video it gives me hope that maybe someday I'll be able to be where you're at.
I’m glad you got something out of the video. I would usually go outside for about 2-5 min and get some fresh air when I started feeling nauseous. I would focus on taking deep breaths and calming myself down. I was usually able to calm myself down about 50-75%.
If you do deal with feeling nauseous… I would avoid eating heavy foods before you go out. That helped me a huge amount. I know it’s not getting upset because of the food directly, but it the food I ate still contributed to it if it was heavier food.
If you keep pushing, you’ll make it. You may not make in your particular “timeframe”, but you will make it. It’s a journey and a tough process. You got this though!
In every single situation I find myself in, I get outcasted from the group. Every single one. At school, every job I’ve had, the military, even my own family doesn’t fully respect me or count me as part of the group. I’m ALWAYS on the bottom. And now I’ve moved to a new state to start fresh AGAIN, I have a great job (I’m always good at my job), and at first they liked me A LOT (they couldn’t stop praising me), but now they don’t anymore. I just felt it, I felt like they were starting not to like me. They were SAYING how much of a good job I’m doing, but their actions weren’t congruent. No hellos or goodbyes, weird feelings, etc… And now I heard that one of the women I work with was talking behind my back about how sometimes I “leave work” to get food, even though she told me I can go. So I approached her about it respectfully and we had a discussion. I told her that we’re part of a team, and a team has to work together and trust each other, otherwise it falls apart.
I don’t get it. What’s wrong with me? I feel like there’s something fundamentally wrong with me that I can’t do anything about. I’m not autistic, but I do have social anxiety and ADHD. But still, there’s plenty of people with those illnesses that do great in life. I feel like I'm cursed, like this stuff follows me everywhere I go. I just want to be valued and respected and fit in. My entire life has been me not fitting in and people just don’t like me for no reason. I have a best friend of over 20 years and I have an uncle who I can have conversations with for hours and these two people value me…but that’s it. I have a job working with kids and I’m so good at it, the kids respect me and value me, I can tell. I’m a good father figure for them. I just taught two kids who never had a father how to throw a football.
So kids like me, but adults are seemingly repulsed by me. They like me at first, but the more they get to know me, their behaviors are the same…they go distant, don’t include me, I get outcasted, etc…it’s the SAME EXACT REACTIONS from when I was in high school. Seriously, what’s wrong with me? I’m 32 years old, I want to get married and have kids, like enough with this bullshit. No matter where I go or who I meet the result has been the same.
Yeah I understand. That’s fun to deal with at all. I’m not saying this is what is happening because I’m not there with you to see, but I remember that yes there was a lot of reason for me to be overthinking about what people were saying about me (got verbally and physically bullied for awhile), but I realized there was a lot of stuff that was a waste of time overthinking about for me. There was some situations where it would have been weird for me not to be hurt, but I realized there was a decent amount of stuff that I was being too sensitive in. Again I’m not saying that’s you because I’m not there with you to see, but I would ask yourself self reflection questions like that. Answering myself questions like that in a dead honest way has helped me grow so much. Also, there are people nowadays and throughout history that no matter how many people didn’t see the value in them they knew how much value they truly brought. Just because someone disrespects or undervalues you doesn’t mean that it’s true. Sometimes it’s the people we surround ourselves with and other times it really is. That does not meant it’s the end of the world. That just means you improve yourself. Anyways, I hope some of that helps and pray you figure out your situation. You can get through this. You’ll probably just have to do things you haven’t done before or more consistent than before. You got this!
you're not alone, i myself also most of moments always been outcasted since junior high school, which makes me only find few ppl that'd stay with me during the era, but most of work time, internship, fulltime job, i always got outcasted. it made me ended up confused like what did i actually do wrong or is it bcus of my face that look unusual? or my name that unusual for natives here? which introduced me to my fear to get new job, i hardly to get new job now & it's actually been 3 years i didn't get into full time job, just some freelancing. currently i also only have like 2 ppl supports me, i couldn't even understand why my bf loves me so much after whole thing happened & happens.. so i understand ur struggles for being outcasted pretty much, comrade. :") let's do our best. 🍀
Man your story sounds basically to a T just like my life. I'm 38 right now. I've never fit in anywhere at any job I've had. People might seem to like me at first, but once they know me for a while things always tend to change. I don't care necessarily about "fitting in" so much, I just don't like ALWAYS standing out like a sore thumb to where I always have to deal with B.S. because of it. And I'm not a bad person either, I feel like I'm a very well mannered and respectable, hard working guy. But also I've learned the hard way not to be a pushover or doormat. So it's like I really don't see what exactly it is about me that people don't "like".
Thanks for sharing your story! You also did a great editing job, keep it up. I was using the book "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Harper Daniels to learn meditation for my anxiety...it worked and i still use a lot of meditation exercises today. Btw you have 1.11 subscribers...look up the meaning of 111...it's a good thing :) Stay strong.
I appreciate it! I’m glad that worked for you and I’ll check out the book/the meaning of 111👍
This is so relatable and thank you for inspriring hope. I'm a 28 year old guy with severe SA since I was 22. I'm taking the bull by the horns finally and making this change. You remind me so much of myself. Thank you
I’m glad you got something out of the video! You got this!
Well articulated!
I recently realized that i have social anxiety and everytime i go out in social situations, it makes me feel sick. It is truly a sad journey and i hope i and others out there with the same problem get help
Yeah it’s not a pleasant thing to deal with. Hang in there and try to slowly overcome it (one step at a time). It’s going to take a lot of effort from you if you want to ever get rid of it.
Added to my favorites. Today I have watched multiple videos on how to overcome SA and surprisingly this has been my favorite one yet! and I say surprisingly because its the video with the least views meaning you are doing spectacularly great!! I love the way you articulate your thought, you make so much sense and it is so interesting to hear the way you talk! Honestly speaking the way you speak so clear and intriguing certainly is one of my goals! Your awesome thank you
I’m glad you got something out of it! Thank you for the kind and encouraging words!
Thank for the video bro im still strugle with this anxiety too
You’re welcome!
Yeah it’s a struggle, but keep pushing to overcome it. It’s not suppose to be an easy fight, but it’s worth it.
I am also facing this problem for twelve years and still suffering from this problem 😔
I’m over 50 I can do some things but not much and I’m not shy. None really understands
The problem with anxiety is because if you do something wrong it can get you into big trouble
I'm somewhat klutzy and have social anxiety. My attention span and concentration has always been horrible since a young child. I almost failed high school, mainly because math was insanely difficult for me. This combination of social anxiety and learning problems is a BAD combination, let me tell you. I've had a hell of alot of issues in my work life due to messing stuff up, and having difficulty remembering/following directions and steps.
I'm 38 and have gotten basically absolutely nowhere in my career/work life. If it wasn't for my horrible social anxiety issues and problems with math, I would've went to college. I would've picked an in-demand career path if I didn't have these damn cursed problems.
That's what our anxiety tells us. But very, very rarely will talking to people get us in to big trouble.
I just turned 13 today and i have social anxiety since i was a little child and i had no idea that i had it, i always thought it's just shyness not something serious and spended years hoping it'll leave me some day and I'll be able to enjoy my childhood just like any other kids my age but it never happened. Going out, talking to people, making friends and being in crowds of people always terrifies me but it got more worst when i started getting bullied in 4th grade. It was a total nightmare full of trauma and others always wondered why I'm always so quiet and it got way more worst when i changed my school. My OWN teacher mentally bullied me and discouraged me so i had to get therapy(had to quit school for like an year) but it didn't helped me much but things got much better when I changed my school again and pushed myself on talking to others. It still terrifies me to start a conversation etc... but today, on the day of my birthday, I'm so lucky that this video came in my recommendation. This video encouraged me. I'll be strong, confident so maybe some day I'll escape from this nightmare, even though my childhood was ruined I'll try my best to enjoy my teen years like others.
I'm sure i made some grammar mistakes since English is not my first language
Bullying from people your age and from adults makes anxiety way worse. I had about 3 teachers in particular that severely bullied me when I was a teen on top of some kids my age. It’s horrible. Stay strong and consistent. Eventually you get to a point where everything that used to affect you will affect you a little less, and then it gets to a point where it doesn’t affect you anymore. That strength has to be developed and it will take time and effort, but it is soooooo worth it. You got this!! And happy birthday!!🎉
Please tell all of your journey thank you very helpful
I have the exact same social anxiety or even more. I chose to take ashwaghanda for cure. It's been 3 days, feeling little bit better. Let's see how it goes in the long run
I guess I'm not alone mine came from making a lot of stupid mistakes but I felt like I made them more to embarrass myself more so that I would just off myself but I realise I couldn't cause I don't want to parents to suffer but I did take the first step to quit gambling and alcohol and even smoking like recently and honestly the support isn't great for me but I hope somehow I pull through cause I know there's more to life wish me luck 😊 thanks for sharing your experience!!
You got this!!!! You’re welcome!
Good video that can help many people. However, it's important to acknowledge that there are many types of anxiety disorders, and each of those types can have many levels of severity. That is to say, a 'mild' (in quotation marks because even mild can be very emotionally and physically painful) anxiety disorder may be overcome by a change of habits, whilst a severe or a chronic one cannot. It's important that people get diagnosed and follow whatever their psychiatrist recommends (which may include pills and/or therapy). Meditation, physical exercises, breathing exercises, and self-motivation (among other things) can and will certainly help all who suffer from anxiety disorders, but no one should rely only on those unless they're the only recommended treatment for their case (again, go see a doctor).
Yes it can definitely depend on the severity of the anxiety they are dealing with. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the opportunity or ability to go see a psychiatrist when I was dealing with it, so I personally had to find different ways that would work effectively for me. I do know that seeing a psychiatrist can tremendously help and I know friends who got the helped they needed from seeing a psychiatrist. Thanks for sharing!!!
Hi everyone, I'm 24 years old and I suffer from social anxiety too, are there people who suffer from it and want to talk about ways or tips to help each other ?
Thanks for sharing and being bold enough to admit that you’re dealing social anxiety. I didn’t mention it in the video, but of a friend of mine and I did door knocking together to get over social anxiety and speaking to people. Having someone with you that is trying to overcome social anxiety can be helpful. You have someone that is in the same fight as you and you can encourage one another. Let me know if you have any specific questions and I’ll do my best to answer them
I'm down hmu
Hi Julia, I have struggled on and off with social anxiety. Im now 30 and have dealt with it since I was around 22. One tip I can offer is holding a bottle of drink or keys etc in your hand when walking in public. I've experienced being less flustered in crowds when doing so. I read online that it helps after noticing the effect.
Also try and maintain contact with at least one person regularly or a quick walk outside daily (if you can) I recently spent a year indoors isolated with severe social anxiety i was injured and unable to walk. I only got better from making a point of walking everyday outside, trying to initiate conversations at supermarket checkouts or making a phonecall to someone I hadn't been in touch with. it all helped.
OMG THE SAME. IM SOO TIRED
I have social anxiety too
So, yeah.
That's why I stutter when speaking to people.
I don't stutter when speaking to myself
Yeah that’s not fun. My mind used to go completely blank every time I tried to talk anyone. I ended up memorizing some phrases that I could fall back on whenever I couldn’t think of anything to say. They were usually open ended questions that give them something to talk a decent amount about or phrases to introduce myself/end the conversation. Just start off with short conversations until you get comfortable with that, and then slowly make the conversations longer. You’re going to stutter and get extremely nervous doing it, but the more you do it the more natural it will feel. I’ve done it and it worked for me, and I know it’s worked for others as well. Take it slow, but be disciplined and consistent with it. You got this!
Thanks 🫂 @@JaredAHobson
What is the music? Thanks!
My challenge is that I have asperges. So socializing with others feels scary and unnatural, and when it's successful, it feels like I'm dreaming because most of time it's not successful. I don't have any friends or girlfriend. I'm a senior in highschool. I don't really have any hobbies unless you include weightlifting, but that's because I'm obsessed with my physical appearance as it's been much easier to improve that than my mental health. I don't know what I want to do after I graduate. I hate school because all I do is work without getting paid and without a social life. The only times I ever felt happy or normal is when I don't sleep or od on percs. I feel like a loser and don't know what to do with my life.
I understand. How many other hobbies have you tried? I know you said like weight lifting. I’d definitely keep doing that. It’s really good for your body and mind. One thing that helped me socializing with people that I haven’t mentioned in my videos is listening to the audio of people talking in movies, tv shows etc, and in interviews(you can do this while you work out). It wasn’t perfect, but it helped me start to see how people interact with another and I automatically started being able to talk to people better. If you’re not happy with your life, you’re gonna have to change something. You will probably have to try several different things to see what works for you personally. Hopefully this helps a little. If you have any more questions you are more than welcome to message me on my personal instagram. It’s in the description of my videos.
@@JaredAHobson Sorry for not responding. I saw it but didn't know how to to respond, I still don't. I tried to do music production, but I'm blocked by a paywall. I'm trying to do designing/editing when I have the energy to do so. Thank you.
@@jorgealbertoop7952 no worries. I understand. Make sure that you take care of your body and mind, but know that if you want to change some stuff and defeat these struggles in your life, you’re going to have to do some things that are very difficult for you to do. You’re going to have to do it consistently for awhile. Just remember that just because something feels uncomfortable doesn’t always mean it is bad for you. Do the things that are difficult, but good for you. You will stay the same if you don’t change your habits, actions, and lifestyle. Also, don’t be too hard on yourself if you make a mistake or don’t have everything together. Take it one step at a time. Hope that helps!
I am 26 now, i have been socially anxious for last 6 to 7 years atleast, now i want to marry my gf in 12 months and i already started to think how will i react and sit in front of hundreds of peoples😢 i really feel uncomfortable when i see people watching me because my mind thinks that they are judging me so i start panicking.
When start overthinking about something that is important like that I will usually ask myself is me dealing with this anxiety and fear for a moment in time worth more than me dealing with regret for the rest of my life? If it’s that important to you then you will be willing to be brave enough to stand up there and marry her. Not because you’re not afraid, but because you are brave enough to do it even though you are afraid and you do not want to regret not doing it for the rest of your life. That is a mindset I have when it comes to really important stuff I get anxiety about. Hope that makes sense!
At least you have a gf lol
@@JaredAHobsonyou are right bro, actually i deal with fear for the moment, i know when i have to meet someone, i start thinking about it a few days before and when the time comes, i am really anxious and my heartbeat is racing. When I have to stand in front of people, like on stage, i start panicking. My mouth becomes dry, my lips start kinda shaking pretty much like i have no control over my lips. Sometimes i feel like my anxiety is because I don't speak much and i have no practice for speaking anything. I start feeling good after 10 to 20 seconds of my meeting with someone i was thinking about a few days before. I used to wear masks in public but i have motivated myself to better panic than not trying to change myself. I am practicing exposure therapy and just started to feel better even though i still feel anxious at times.
@@muhammadzainulabideen5345 yeah I dealt with a lot of that. I would try to say something and it felt like my mouth wasn’t cooperating😂
I did a mixture of throwing myself into situations where I had to talk a lot and other situations where I could ease myself into it and only have to say a few words at a time.
mashallah mate
So for me Im 34 years old male and I still go to the gym, college and starbucks but at the weekends I would still not go to pubs and clubs as it still seems scary to me lol
Yeah I understand. We all have specific things that seem scary to us, but that doesn’t mean it has to stay scary forever. If there is something I’m afraid to do I will do it or expose myself to it in small doses and slowly increase the amount of exposure. I’ve done that and also completely thrown myself into it. Both work, but one is essentially easier, but take more time. The other one definitely gets the job done, but it will be very tough. Hope that helps a little!
@@JaredAHobson thank you!
How long has it taken you?
I casually tried to overcome it for about 4 years. I got rid of the majority of it within 2 1/2 years when I really tried to overcome it. I got rid of my social anxiety with strangers first, then my immediate family, and everyone else that I was close or semi close to afterwards. It will take a lot longer than you think it will, but it’s worth all of the time and effort it will take.
Like what age were you when you overcame it?
About 20 1/2 years old.
@@JaredAHobson okay thanks
I’m from Coachella Valley California
jesus loves you bro
Amen bro. He's the sure way out of this. I don't know if what I have is social anxiety.It's probably less than what others are describing in the comments, but I do have my fair share of shyness. And that I'm sure He'll get me out of. Props to you my brother in christ. 🙂💯❤
36 and still struggling 🫠
this is me i am 39 years old been isolated forever
It’s not too late to overcome anxiety. It won’t be easy, but if you put in the effort consistently… I believe you can do it.