I have 2 girls already, was expecting my 3rd would b a boy, but ultra sound shows it’s a girl again, as soon as I got pregnant I felt it was a boy, my symptoms, my everything was different to both pregnancies I had b4, and it broke my heart to know that it’s not a boy, I don’t sAy I won’t love this baby girl, but my hopes were high for a boy.
I cried through this whole video. I found out yesterday the gender we are having. I envisioned all my life and even more after getting married of what I wanted to have first. I feel very guilty for feeling this way and feel like I have to act excited to everyone else.
I've been struggling with depression and gender disappointment for two years now. Despite loving my son dearly, I yearned for a daughter. At 44, with my husband not wanting more children, I'm finding it challenging to cope and move forward. My heart and mind are still adjusting to this unexpected path.Honestly, I'm struggling to accept our family dynamics. Two years ago, I welcomed another precious son, but my heart longed for a daughter. I had saved some of my barbies and dolls and princess books.Loving him unconditionally, yet grieving the loss of that daughter dream. Now, at 44, with my husband complete, I'm grappling to find closure.
You are probably very busy with your own children, but is there any community, church or social group you can volunteer to watch children for, where you can watch little girls? I am in a relationship now but was single for a very long time--to the point where I never thought I would have any child of my own. Volunteering to provide childcare did wonders for me! I got to play and care for little boys and girls and that helped me so much. I got to have fun with kiddos but also see how TOUGH parenting is and made me not want to rush it :)
I'm having my first baby at 33 don't plan to have another n I wanted a girl the doctor said it's a boy ever since then I've been depressed! I feel very guilty but in that guilt I still prefer a girl 🥺 very sad
Shoot I'm 32 with my first of course I wanted a son but when I found out today it was a girl I felt like I was hit by a truck 🥺 I love my wife n don't want to show the disappointment 😞 but she noticed she left me alone all day
I’m 38 having our last baby my husband has 6 boys 3 from a previous and 3 with me I want a girl so bad but it’s not looking to promising 😢 but I just want baby to be health ❤
Can I ask you how you are doing now? My son is 1 and I still have gender disappointment 😞. It took us 6 rounds of ivf to even get our miracle baby, so that makes me feel 1000x worse, because I am so grateful to even have a baby. I love him with all my heart. I feel it has nothing to do with him rather, i feel like I'm grieving a daughter that doesn't exist. He is not a cuddly baby or likes to sit on my lap and read books. He's a happy just on the go little guy, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I do see a counselor and have tried my hardest to think of the pros of having a boy, but then that turns into me being sad that I can't think of anything that are just mother son things to do. Sorry for the long post, I just don't like feeling this way and wanted to hear how you're doing now.
@@MarieqI’m not sure if this will help. I’m a boy mum (have a 2.5 year old) and pregnant with another boy right now… I had gender dissapointment my son and a small Amount with this pregnancy as this is our last baby… around 1 years old my son wasn’t cuddly either…. Now he is 2.5 years old and he is starting to get cuddly and our relationship has grown ALOT in the last year. You are so so early into this long journey of parenthood. Try not to worry too much if you are still experiencing GD or your son isn’t cuddly (yet) things shift when you least expect it ❤
I’ve never had a kid but I want a daughter very badly and I’ve dealt with being extremely terrified of having a boy, because honestly pregnancy and childbirth sound like things I do not want to have to do more than once to get a daughter lol. Anyway, something that helps me a LOT is to remember that gender literally will not determine anything about your child’s personality. Like, even if you ended up getting the gender you wanted in your baby, even still then you have to remember that this idealized vision of your life and their life is made up. Yes, girls usually have a set of feminine traits and characters and the same goes for boys with masculine characteristics, but that’s also a result of the way we raise kids to fall into their gender norms. If you envisioned talking about boy crushes with your daughter, or helping her dress up for prom, or buying dolls and girly clothes for her or whatever, just remember that your kid could be gay first of all, your kid could end up not identifying with their gender assignment from birth, or your kid could simply just not cater to traditional gender roles. Most likely, they won’t cater to gender norms in all the exact ways you expect them to. The gender of your baby will not determine their personality or the experiences you have with them growing up, but again, your feelings are valid and this is still a hard thing to come to terms with sometimes. Gender disappointment is very real but I think the sooner we try to dismantle heteronormativity and cis-normativity, the better off both we and our children are
I have a friend who doesn’t talk to me anymore after finding out she’s carrying her second girl and I’m pregnant with a boy. I never know what to do when I’m in these situations so I just let her be... I’m sure she’ll grow to love her baby girl once she’s born :)
Hey! Yes, it sounds like she needs some space to just feel the disappointment she feels. It's totally okay. But it's also fair for you to ask her what's going on for her, and if she wants to talk about it.
@@onelove2578 for whatever reason she wants a son… she comes from a South Asian background so maybe there’s a cultural influence to it, I’m not entirely sure.
I feel like many videos address the GD about having a boy, and not about having a girl. I feel like sons are closer to their moms, so I would love to see more videos if you are not having a boy. I have already experienced multiple MC's and im 34, so advanced maternal age, and i took us almost a year to get pregnant again, plus i am having HG, not a day without a pill, and sometimes vomiting 10 times a day. I feel like im sacrificing for nothing. So i dont think i will want to have another child. Boy was my and partners dream, we were so sure we were having a boy. I feel like the daughter is already a disappointment in my life.
@@miriamspirit wow I love hearing this now 🤍because I been severely depressed over finding out it’s not a boy for my first one 🥺I prayed so hard after my last miscarriage for a baby boy and I hope I can be just like you and be happy with a girl and content 🙏🏽❤️and you’re so welcome
I’m literally dealing with the same situation . I have hypermis gervandium and I’m older . I wanted a boy soo so bad but I found out I’m having a girl and I have GD. My partner is happy to have a girl but he’s noticed my detachment since finding out the gender . I’m hoping things get better ❤️🩹
@@daughterofgod8671Thank you for your comment. Yes, this is why I am in a constant state of guilt. It has waned a little but it is still very much there. Try again? and risk getting another boy?
@Floki711 Thank you for your comment and I understand why you say this. It is the last thing I want of course and have kept it to myself for that reason
@@danielwilliam4306you don’t want to “RISK getting a baby boy”??? What the f is wrong with you? You need to seek professional help, I feel terrible for your poor son he does not deserve a mother who hates his gender. Evil
This was very helpful… Surprisingly, I am having my seventh child. Son Son Daughter Daughter Son Son (______new baby) is another boy. 💙 It has been 9 years since having a girl and my daughters and I were really hoping for a sweet baby girl in this house of testosterone. Also, there are other factors such as this will likely be our last and this baby was a surprise and will complicate life. I wanted my girl to “distract” me from the disappointment and surprise of this pregnancy. This video really helped me. Thank you.
I feel this disappointed, and feel guilty for it because I know the gender doesn’t matter, baby’s health is most important. I already have a boy and a girl, and kinda always thought this one would be another girl. A boy never crossed my mind for some reason, I always visualized a girl and have a whole list of girl names. When we found out we’re actually having a boy, I was just surprised. I’m not disappointed that he’s a boy, but this is our last baby so I kinda planned/ assumed a girl. And now I can’t come up with any boy names. 🤣
I have 2 girls already, was expecting my 3rd would b a boy, but ultra sound shows it’s a girl again, as soon as I got pregnant I felt it was a boy, my symptoms, my everything was different to both pregnancies I had b4, and it broke my heart to know that it’s not a boy, I don’t sAy I won’t love this baby girl, but my hopes were high for a boy.
I feel the exact same but expecting third boy. Pregnancy was completely opposite as with my other boys. It’s been so hard to get excited.
I cried through this whole video. I found out yesterday the gender we are having. I envisioned all my life and even more after getting married of what I wanted to have first. I feel very guilty for feeling this way and feel like I have to act excited to everyone else.
I've been struggling with depression and gender disappointment for two years now. Despite loving my son dearly, I yearned for a daughter. At 44, with my husband not wanting more children, I'm finding it challenging to cope and move forward. My heart and mind are still adjusting to this unexpected path.Honestly, I'm struggling to accept our family dynamics. Two years ago, I welcomed another precious son, but my heart longed for a daughter. I had saved some of my barbies and dolls and princess books.Loving him unconditionally, yet grieving the loss of that daughter dream. Now, at 44, with my husband complete, I'm grappling to find closure.
You are probably very busy with your own children, but is there any community, church or social group you can volunteer to watch children for, where you can watch little girls? I am in a relationship now but was single for a very long time--to the point where I never thought I would have any child of my own. Volunteering to provide childcare did wonders for me! I got to play and care for little boys and girls and that helped me so much. I got to have fun with kiddos but also see how TOUGH parenting is and made me not want to rush it :)
I have a daughter , I wanted a. Son but now I m pregnant with another daughter ,so I am overthinking on it
I'm having my first baby at 33 don't plan to have another n I wanted a girl the doctor said it's a boy ever since then I've been depressed! I feel very guilty but in that guilt I still prefer a girl 🥺 very sad
Shoot I'm 32 with my first of course I wanted a son but when I found out today it was a girl I felt like I was hit by a truck 🥺 I love my wife n don't want to show the disappointment 😞 but she noticed she left me alone all day
I feel the exact same 😢 I’m 32 and wanted a girl. But the nipt test came back boy.
I wanted a boy, and just found out I’m having a girl.. I’m really still trying to get over the disappointment.😭
I’m 38 having our last baby my husband has 6 boys 3 from a previous and 3 with me I want a girl so bad but it’s not looking to promising 😢 but I just want baby to be health ❤
Going trough it right now
I’m 35 weeks and still not adjusting well to being a future “boy mom” 🙄 not really stoked and don’t know how to get excited
Can I ask you how you are doing now? My son is 1 and I still have gender disappointment 😞. It took us 6 rounds of ivf to even get our miracle baby, so that makes me feel 1000x worse, because I am so grateful to even have a baby. I love him with all my heart. I feel it has nothing to do with him rather, i feel like I'm grieving a daughter that doesn't exist. He is not a cuddly baby or likes to sit on my lap and read books. He's a happy just on the go little guy, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it. I do see a counselor and have tried my hardest to think of the pros of having a boy, but then that turns into me being sad that I can't think of anything that are just mother son things to do. Sorry for the long post, I just don't like feeling this way and wanted to hear how you're doing now.
@@MarieqI’m not sure if this will help. I’m a boy mum (have a 2.5 year old) and pregnant with another boy right now… I had gender dissapointment my son and a small
Amount with this pregnancy as this is our last baby…
around 1 years old my son wasn’t cuddly either…. Now he is 2.5 years old and he is starting to get cuddly and our relationship has grown ALOT in the last year. You are so so early into this long journey of parenthood. Try not to worry too much if you are still experiencing GD or your son isn’t cuddly (yet) things shift when you least expect it ❤
@@Marieqsounds like u just want a girl for selfish reasons. Grow up
Question the idea of where the sadness is coming from & trust that the connection will grow. These are important take aways. I love this
I’ve never had a kid but I want a daughter very badly and I’ve dealt with being extremely terrified of having a boy, because honestly pregnancy and childbirth sound like things I do not want to have to do more than once to get a daughter lol. Anyway, something that helps me a LOT is to remember that gender literally will not determine anything about your child’s personality. Like, even if you ended up getting the gender you wanted in your baby, even still then you have to remember that this idealized vision of your life and their life is made up. Yes, girls usually have a set of feminine traits and characters and the same goes for boys with masculine characteristics, but that’s also a result of the way we raise kids to fall into their gender norms. If you envisioned talking about boy crushes with your daughter, or helping her dress up for prom, or buying dolls and girly clothes for her or whatever, just remember that your kid could be gay first of all, your kid could end up not identifying with their gender assignment from birth, or your kid could simply just not cater to traditional gender roles. Most likely, they won’t cater to gender norms in all the exact ways you expect them to. The gender of your baby will not determine their personality or the experiences you have with them growing up, but again, your feelings are valid and this is still a hard thing to come to terms with sometimes. Gender disappointment is very real but I think the sooner we try to dismantle heteronormativity and cis-normativity, the better off both we and our children are
Thank you so much for this! Currently struggling with this at the moment... your voice already felt very comforting and soothing. Thank you! 💖
I have a daughter, and now I’m having a second daughter and I wanted a son to be proud
I have a friend who doesn’t talk to me anymore after finding out she’s carrying her second girl and I’m pregnant with a boy. I never know what to do when I’m in these situations so I just let her be... I’m sure she’ll grow to love her baby girl once she’s born :)
Oh am so sorry to hear that. I wonder if you could bring it up with her, and just check in? Pregnancy can bring up so much!
@@KateBorsato well I don’t want to offend her and assume she’s jealous of me having a boy
Hey! Yes, it sounds like she needs some space to just feel the disappointment she feels. It's totally okay. But it's also fair for you to ask her what's going on for her, and if she wants to talk about it.
@@Lolee56 👀 why would she be jealous?
@@onelove2578 for whatever reason she wants a son… she comes from a South Asian background so maybe there’s a cultural influence to it, I’m not entirely sure.
I feel like many videos address the GD about having a boy, and not about having a girl. I feel like sons are closer to their moms, so I would love to see more videos if you are not having a boy.
I have already experienced multiple MC's and im 34, so advanced maternal age, and i took us almost a year to get pregnant again, plus i am having HG, not a day without a pill, and sometimes vomiting 10 times a day. I feel like im sacrificing for nothing. So i dont think i will want to have another child. Boy was my and partners dream, we were so sure we were having a boy. I feel like the daughter is already a disappointment in my life.
How are you feeling now ?
@imanishantel3769 thank you for asking me this! I am a little over my due date and so excited it's a girl! I can't imagine now having a boy now lol
@@miriamspirit wow I love hearing this now 🤍because I been severely depressed over finding out it’s not a boy for my first one 🥺I prayed so hard after my last miscarriage for a baby boy and I hope I can be just like you and be happy with a girl and content 🙏🏽❤️and you’re so welcome
@@imanishantel3769 you will be! Just give yourself some time and grace, and congratulations on your baby
I’m literally dealing with the same situation . I have hypermis gervandium and I’m older . I wanted a boy soo so bad but I found out I’m having a girl and I have GD. My partner is happy to have a girl but he’s noticed my detachment since finding out the gender . I’m hoping things get better ❤️🩹
However I'm happy that nature ultimately gives us no choice, it's nice to see humans helpless ...
Thank you, but 3 years on I still have the same intensity of disappointment
Wait.. what? 😢 Even after birth the disappointment is still there? Maybe you can try again for the gender you wanted?
@@daughterofgod8671Thank you for your comment. Yes, this is why I am in a constant state of guilt. It has waned a little but it is still very much there. Try again? and risk getting another boy?
@Floki711 Thank you for your comment and I understand why you say this. It is the last thing I want of course and have kept it to myself for that reason
@@danielwilliam4306you don’t want to “RISK getting a baby boy”??? What the f is wrong with you? You need to seek professional help, I feel terrible for your poor son he does not deserve a mother who hates his gender. Evil
This was very helpful…
Surprisingly, I am having my seventh child.
Son
Son
Daughter
Daughter
Son
Son
(______new baby)
is another boy. 💙
It has been 9 years since having a girl and my daughters and I were really hoping for a sweet baby girl in this house of testosterone.
Also, there are other factors such as this will likely be our last and this baby was a surprise and will complicate life.
I wanted my girl to “distract” me from the disappointment and surprise of this pregnancy.
This video really helped me. Thank you.
damn girl...after 7 pregnancies how was this a surprise? 🤣
can possible wrong gender in 22 week ultasound plz reply me
Gender scans are not always 100%
Love this thank you
I feel this disappointed, and feel guilty for it because I know the gender doesn’t matter, baby’s health is most important. I already have a boy and a girl, and kinda always thought this one would be another girl. A boy never crossed my mind for some reason, I always visualized a girl and have a whole list of girl names. When we found out we’re actually having a boy, I was just surprised. I’m not disappointed that he’s a boy, but this is our last baby so I kinda planned/ assumed a girl. And now I can’t come up with any boy names. 🤣
I have a girl n a boy and now I’m pregnant with a girl,I’m kinda disappointed I really wanted a boy…
Gender disappointment....like "is it a boy or abortion?"