When I had my second boy, I was disappointed that it wasn't the girl everyone had foreseen. I am now 17 weeks along with my third and I would love a girl but I refuse to find out the gender because I do not want the feeling of discouragement and disappointment (and sadness) to be passed to the baby. I would rather wait and be rejoicing due to having a healthy baby, regardless of the sex.
Beautiful. I also don't know the gender yet. Already have a friend saying "hope you could have a girl like me". I'm not gender shopping. If I want to dress a girl up, I can buy a doll or dress my niece. My love is unconditional. The sad thing though is that I already know society is going to give me condolences when it turns out to be another boy, which is such a sad reality. Especially in the family.
Such an interesting topic! I have two boys and am pregnant again and have had so many comments about hoping it's a girl or that we are going for the girl! One of the reasons I didn't find out the gender as feels like other people would be negative about a boy. We always wanted three and I'd of course love a girl but will equally be so happy with another son. People think a boy and a girl is "perfect" but same sex siblings are super special! Xxx
SJ Strum I definitely agree with you I'm going to have my second boy and I'm very happy since I had my two sisters it makes more sense siblings of the same gender because they will understand each other much better.
Agreed! My mom had one of each, boy and girl, and honestly I think it would have been better if I had a sister or my brother had a brother instead but u can’t really chose those things.
When I had my 3rd girl, I was especially upset and emotional at first as my hormones were all over the place, but now I couldn't be happier, if I am ever blessed with a boy in the future, so be it ... however when I had my 3rd baby girl, many people congratulated me ..but the one lady I remember, came up to me, but rather than congratulate me, she just said "Hopefully next time" and walked off...I wanted to cry...Boy or Girl ... Every child is a blessing
My hubby and I went through IVF to conceive. We were lucky to be blessed with our first son after one round of IVF (along with being able to freeze embryos). When we tried for number two I had 3 miscarriages back to back. It was devastating, and many tears were shed feeling like I wouldn’t give our son a sibling. Thankfully after the 3 miscarriages, we conceived our second son naturally! I know how lucky I am to have two healthy boys, but I’d be lying my arse off if I said I didn’t feel the loss of never having a daughter. It’s not at all because my boys aren’t good enough (they’re wonderful and I literally throw myself in front of a bus to save their lives). It’s just I had always envisioned having a daughter. I’m one of two sisters, and grew up in a very girl dominated family. Having two boys has been a real eye opener too - so many times my husband has had to reassure me that my boys behaviour is normal for a boy, because it’s so foreign to me growing up with one sister. And by that, I just mean a lot more rough play, play fighting, and wanting to bouncing around off walls most the time (yes, I realise some girls are energetic too, but I see a huge difference between my sons, and friends sons, when compared to friends daughters). I also see a difference between how grown up women are with their family, Vs how grown up men are with their family. I know it’s generalising, but most guys I know are more distant from their parents (less frequent contact, catching up etc) when compared to women. Women seem to spend a lot more time contacting their parents and organising to catch up and do things. Again, I know there are exceptions, but that’s not as common. So for me, my gender disappoint is really around feeling like I won’t experience what a mother and daughter relationship has to offer. Not getting to be Mother of the Bride if my daughter married. Not getting to connect with my daughter when she is pregnant (I’m sure a future daughter in law is not exactly going to want her mother in law up in her face whilst pregnant). It’s just a different type of relationship. My hubby is my best friend, but the conversation I have with him are slightly different to the conversations I have with my female best friend. I think that’s what it comes down to a lot of the time.
I definitely had gender disappointment. Since I could remember, when I envisioned myself as a mother I always pictured myself with a little girl. I'm not ashamed to say I did cry at the 20 week scan when the tech said it was a boy. But now he's one and I can't picture my life without my little prince. Hoping baby #2 is a girl tho 🤞🤞
I understand why people can be disappointed , but if you have suffered loss or heartache with conceiving, miscarriage etc it doesn't matter what the sex of your baby is. A healthy child is the best result, it's society that makes you think you need the 2.4 children thing . I have two girls and get asked if I'd like a boy, i want to roll my eyes X
I've seen comments from women who state they have had miscarriages and still have a preference. I think ultimately we ALL want a healthy pregnancy, but gender preference is a real thing and so is gender disappointment.
So glad you're discussing this. I experienced gender disappointment when I was pregnant with my son and felt so ashamed to feel that way when I was pregnant with a healthy baby, especially as we have friends who are struggling to conceive. Although my husband was great I didn't find there was much out there in terms of support and agree it definitely feels like a taboo subject. As most have said though, as soon as I had my son those feelings disappeared and I am so in love with him I can't believe I ever felt that way!x
The only reason I prefer a boy over a girl is because I'm terrified of what society will do to my girl. I don't want her to get used or shamed like many girls do. But, maybe it will go well for her. I never really know how things will turn out.
Loved this! Especially with the two special guests 💙 the pressure is the worst; sometime having that tiny spark of disappointment is majorly amplified by other people and that's so annoying as it can ruin the pregnancy and birth
I totally get this, I had our third son 20 years ago and still cry now and again about the daughter I never had. It is real and the pain of my loss still feels raw. I wish I could find closure but I can't. My boys are fabulous and make me so proud but I never got to the do the pink thing, will never be the mother of the bride and will always be the "other" grandmother . My biggest regret was not having one more go - I honestly feel so cheated and wish my heart would heal x
Don’t be upset. I am currently pregnant with my fourth and I only went for it to try for a girl and just found out it’s a boy and the gender disappointment is even worse than not trying .... I am going through a very rough time and I really want this sadness to pass.... I’m going to be a four boy mum and As much as I love my kids it really scares me
I spoke about this recently and I was so surprised at the amount of people who thanked me for talking about it because they had experienced gender disappointment and felt guilty about it. I desperately wanted a girl so I decided not to find out the sex of the baby until it was born, I was thrilled that she was a girl but at that moment I absolutely would not have cared either way. It's definitely a taboo subject but I don't think people should feel ashamed for having feelings of disappointment, it's a human emotion and it's important to express how you feel and not bottle it up. Loved this, as usual, great to see Sam on the sofa! 😊
When I told my mother in law we were having our second girl she said “oh well nevermind” was so gutted as I was SO happy to have two girls and if I ever have another I would genuinely love another girl 👧 shame people can be quite hurtful with their comments
I want to share something about me I was married I didn't have any kids like for 7 yes after marriage me and my husband was hoping for a healthy baby after so many doctor recommendations and tries I conceive a baby after nine months later I have a cute little healthy chubby babygirl I was feeling so blessed at that time and thanking God to sending this cutie to me Every child is blessing no matter what is the gender be happy with it ☺️❤️❤️❤️
I have 4 daughters. When they started their families I told all of them you get what you get and you don't get upset. My first two were twins born 12 weeks early and almost died several times. We were just glad when our baby showed up alive and healthy. Gender is a non issue for us.
I'm pregnant with baby no 2 and and I hate to admit that I would be a bit disappointed if we had another boy because although I adore my son its been hard work from the start due to allergies and reflux and now we are heading into really tough toddler years. In my head (probably because I keep getting told how different little girls are by family) it might be different and maybe easier if we had a girl. It's not even really about having a girly girl its more about how different it could be. In reality though another boy would probably be just as different.
Oooh, I'm very late to the party, but this just came up in my suggested videos, I think since I published my vlog on gender disappointment. It was really nice to hear a chatty discussion on this subject, with lots of different viewpoints and experiences. I have three boys so can identify lots with the things Emily was saying!
Chloe Bridge I had three boys at first and l think society puts pressure on us, that and family. I had a lot of people that were telling me that l wouldn't know how to raise a girl if l got one, like l didn't deserve it after 3 boys, people are just so idiotic. Yeah you would, you'd raise her perfectly fine because you would know her...ugh. Well Ellise came on the last ferry and magically all the bullies started telling us we were "done now". Why we let people dictate to us on the goings on in our wombs beggers belief!
I'm a Mum of 2 boys and I love it! I get asked ALL. THE. TIME if I am going to be going again to "try and get a girl" - No, I have 2 healthy children and that's all that matters!! Yes I do feel like I might miss out on some things like when they are pregnant or when they get married but hopefully our boys will have lovely partners in their lives who will want to involve me in things! I think there is something so special about multiples of the same sex. We had a surprise both times and it was amazing. Ahhh, so wish I could do labour again!! Well done ladies,, fab job. Charlie you were a great host! xx
I have a girl and a boy. And when I found out my second was a boy I did feel some gender disappointment (for me rather than disappointment it was more apprehension and feeling anxious) there are no boys in my family and I loved having a girl so much I just couldn't imagine my life with a boy. However now he is a happy 4 month old and he is just wonderful! My Daughter loves him so much and I can't wait until they start playing together. I was feeling apprehension right up until his birth. But I have to say he is such a mummy's boy whereas my daughter is a daddy's girl so it's really nice for us both to have that:)
I know this is an old comment but I'm so pleased I've read this and that someone feels/felt the same as me. Every gender disappointment video ive seen is about having one sex and wanting the other. I have a girl and really wanted another. I was convinced it was another girl and was so shocked when I found out It's a boy. I don't like any boys names or any boys clothes. I'm really struggling but it's not something I feel like I can talk to with anyone. Xxx
"Gender disappointment"? I'd rather call it "boy disappointment". And that's a shame really. Boys mums need to stand up to this. Our society is getting more and more hostile towards boys and men. Feminism isn't about misandry but about equal rights. We need to support our sons the way we support our daughters ❤️
You are absolutely right! When men are disappointed because they wanted a son, women roll their eyes and make snarky comments. When women are disappointed because they wanted a girl, they get sympathy. I know so many women who have healthy, perfect sons and act like victims because they didn't get a girl. When they try for another baby they let everyone know they want a girl. It is so ungrateful, so insensitive, such a horrible thing to let everyone know another son would be a disappointment. I see this in mother's groups I am a part of and it's basically normalized sexism. Little boys are every bit as precious, loveable, and valuable as girls are.
After being told at 21 I would never conceive a baby I was so relieved when I found out I was pregnant the gender was irrelevant. After having 2 boys I unexpectedly found myself pregnant with my third baby and I'm not going to lie was desperate for a little girl as I'm a very girly girl and my boys are typical boys!! At our 20 week scan I was terrified to find out the gender because I couldn't bare the guilt of feeling disappointed. I didn't want to know the gender in the scan but my partner did. The sonographer discreetly told him the gender and he sat with his head in his hands moaning about his bank balance. I knew at that point we were having a girl lol. I don't feel ashamed to admit I would have been disappointed to not have had a girl but that's not to say I wouldn't have loved a boy any less. In hindsight now it really wouldn't bother me as I'm now facing a radical hysterectomy at the age of 33 years old so I now just feel incredibly blessed to have been given the chance to have been able to be a mummy regardless of gender.
I'm pregnant with my second right now and I already have a girl. I'm getting pressure from a lot of people for a boy. And I'm honestly afraid to find out what I'm having. I feel like I'd want a boy just to make others happy not that I wouldn't be happy too. But I just want to breath and try to enjoy my pregnancy without thinking about gender.
TogetherForeverOct09 i still dont know the gender but um thinkin not to tell anyone this time coz theyre so pretty much nosy its none of their business
I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant with our third boy the amount of disappointment we had from everybody at our 20 week scan was amazing comments like oh well you'll have to have another one and oh that's a shame I was like well no not really 3 is more than enough thank you 😂
I'm a mother of 3 boys and I'm pregnant with my 4th baby, I wanted so bad to have a lil girl, but guess what? Another BOY! It did hit me hard but I'm really happy now and yes this is my last baby.
Claudia Rivera hi there x x I am in the same place as you. Pregnant with my fourth boy at 20 weeks. I was so upset I considered termination and still dealing with horrible feelings. How are you feeling now?
Bit late to the party here lol but Our hospital didn't tell you what the sex of the baby was so we were told at my 24week scan which we paid for privately that I was having a girl. I was so excited for everything girly - Disney princesses etc but when I went into labour out came my beautiful baby boy 🙈 biggest shock of our lives! I wouldn't change him for the world now but I definitely would say that I was disappointed that the life I had planned out for my little girl wouldn't happen but I really couldn't imagine life without my boy. I'm definitely a boy mum now & don't have a clue what I would do with a girl!
We had a boy and then a girl so we were lucky on the gender front as no one had concerns or questions past 'oh and boy and a girl. You're done then!' Errr why? Because we've covered both bases? 🙄 My sister has 4 boys and then had a girl and she desp wanted a girl and she wanted was disappointed a bit and there was NO shame in that. It's ok to be be disappointed. She loves her 4th son more than words and nothing ever meant she didn't love him but she was allowed to be a bit sad that she wasn't having a girl when she wanted one. And if anyone every tried to make her feel bad I'd be very very cross.
Great video, I love everyone's different thoughts on what is a taboo subject. I have 3 boys and 2 girls, so haven't had time to experience gender disappointment, but I truly think it's such a natural thing to have a preference after wanting a healthy baby. But like Sam said I think we have what we are meant to have and I wouldn't want to intervene with that like gender selection.
Loved how honest you all are in this. Such a good discussion and an interesting topic. I think if I had a third I wouldn't find out what I'm having as I do think it's the exciting part and something which fate decided for us which is nice xx
I love the honestly in the video! Also from the mum's that recorded their views. Another great video. I wanted a boy with my first due to a strain relationship with my own mum but once I found out my goodness I was the happiest mum in the world ❤️
We found out with our little girl. We already thought she was a girl, but wouldn't have minded either way. I did feel a little pressure from family as it's been a long time since a baby girl was born, but I knew no one would have really minded. I couldn't imagine Evie being a little boy now!
Does this stuff really matter? As long as the baby is healthy it's all that matters after all it's a baby not a doll you dress up, it is so insignificant and unimportant at the end it's YOUR little baby. I am having my 2nd boy and I am so happy to see my little boys bond together and be best friends 😀 when you hold them in your arm's you don't care what is their gender! 😊
This is a wonderful video. I was excited to have a boy for my first since I came from a family of 4 girls. I wanted two children so I was hoping for one of each. I had an ultrasound back in 1986 and it said girl. I found out when it was another boy when he was born and everyone knew how disappointed I was. Even at the hospital telling me I was a bad Mom for feeling that day. After a few days I was in love. Then I thought about trying again in my 30s and nothing ever happened. At age 45 I had a surprise pregnancy and it was another boy. Then at age 60 I found out I was going to be a Grandma and that one was a boy too. A year and a half later I had another Grandson but the end of this month I found out I was getting a Granddaughter. I am over the moon. I love all of my boys as I will love this little girl too!
I love being a mother of three boys!!! They are all so loving and so helpful ❤✨✨ currently 11 weeks and this pregnancy is completely different… I know it’s a baby girl ❤❤ If it’s another boy, I’ll still be just as happy!! Congratulations to all new mommies out there🎉🎉
Hi 👋 I’ve had 5 girls and then gave a stop After 7 years I got pregnant 🤰 again And my first scan I was happpy because everyone was it’s gonna be a boy but my scan showed I’m having a girl again I was shocked upset 😢 I couldn’t stop crying 😢 still I think about happy stufff but I can’t do it any more it’s so upsetting I still cry I can’t stop crying
We’re having girl numbed 2 and I felt so much pressure from my husband to have a boy and when we found out we were having another girl I was crushed and as much as he tells me all he wants is a healthy baby I know how excited and happy he would have been to have a boy.. I def feel like I should have waited until birth to find out because I feel like once they are born and you see their sweet face you just instantly fall in love and feel connected regardless of what their sex is..
When I was pregnant with my first I literally wished to have a girl. When I was told I was at my 20 week scan I couldn't believe it - and I honestly do think I would have been a bit disappointed if I was having a boy. Now I have one of each I realise how silly that is though! Although I am sick of people saying 'oh one of each, you don't need anymore' - I'd loveeee another haha x
My daughter didn’t think she would be a mother, since her husband had a vasectomy 10 years before they were married.. He had it reversed and she miscarried with her first pregnancy last year. She is now 11 weeks pregnant and she doesn’t care either way, she’s just excited she’s going to be a mother!
I longed for a girl until an issue come up at my 20 week scan regarding babies health and I realised at that moment how pathetic and insignificant wanting a certain gender was. And how stupid I was obsessing about gender
I'm pregnant and I was made to feel like a horrible person for saying I have a gender preference. So much so that I've stopped talking about my pregnancy and I'm not revealing before my baby is born. I think it's sad that we can't support and accept that we're all different and that's it's alright.
I wanted a baby boy so bad just did my 20wk gender reveal and it’s a girl… I feel depressed but I still am happy baby’s healthy just thought it was a boy 100%
I’ve never had a kid but I want a daughter very badly and I’ve dealt with being extremely terrified of having a boy, because honestly pregnancy and childbirth sound like things I do not want to have to do more than once to get a daughter lol. Anyway, something that helps me a LOT is to remember that gender literally will not determine anything about your child’s personality. Like, even if you ended up getting the gender you wanted in your baby, even still then you have to remember that this idealized vision of your life and their life is made up. Yes, girls usually have a set of feminine traits and characters and the same goes for boys with masculine characteristics, but that’s also a result of the way we raise kids to fall into their gender norms. If you envisioned talking about boy crushes with your daughter, or helping her dress up for prom, or buying dolls and girly clothes for her or whatever, just remember that your kid could be gay first of all, your kid could end up not identifying with their gender assignment from birth, or your kid could simply just not cater to traditional gender roles. Most likely, they won’t cater to gender norms in all the exact ways you expect them to. The gender of your baby will not determine their personality or the experiences you have with them growing up, but again, your feelings are valid and this is still a hard thing to come to terms with sometimes. Gender disappointment is very real but I think the sooner we try to dismantle heteronormativity and cis-normativity, the better off both we and our children are
With my first I just had a feeling I was having a boy and was so pleased to find out I was right. My partners side of the family is all boys and when we tried for our second everyone was hoping for a girl. Me included. But at the scan I could see straight away it was a boy. I was sad for a little bit if I'm honest but the moment he came into the world I was in love all over again. I wouldn't change being a mum of boys now.
I'm 17 weeks pregnant with our first baby and my husband and I really wanted a boy. Well, I wanted a boy because I want to have a little Ryan (my husband's name) around. I wanted to have a boy who will be just like my husband when he was a little boy. He was so cute in the pictures so i really wanted to have just like him. We had our gender scan last week and the OB said there's a high chance that it will be a girl... i'm kinda disappointed but that's just for seconds... we're both happy after that because having a girl will be just as cute as having a boy. 😊
Like with Charlie, my sister had 3 boys, I had George and then I got pregnant and everyone said it's HAD to be a girl and if it was a boy send it back (hahaha. So hilarious... 😠) and I had an Alice. And I was really happy as I honestly wanted girls but I'd have loved my child no matter what. Even if George decides he wants to be Georgia or if Alice wants to be Alan. I love my kids exactly as they are.
When I got pregnant everyone thought I was having a girl so I got excited and sort of started planning everything pink, but then I went for the scan and it was a boy and I was shocked, and disappointed. It sounds horrible to say and I know I can try again but I really want that whole "pink, sparkle and girly" thing and to have a best friend relationship with a girl. :) x
I would agree with the second comment. Mumsnet, Netmums, ingender, etc. are awash with women wanting girls. I am a woman who wanted a girl too... part of it may have been growing up in a culture (but in a Western country, just have family from Asian background) that prefers boys and fighting against that.
Instead of people being disappointed with genders just be glad you can have children most couples try for many years to have children and some couples can’t have children
I personally feel like I would make a better girl mom, because my interests are stereotypically 'girly,' but I absolutely would still love a son 100% as much as I would love a daughter, and would make sure he felt this 100% love from me!
Why is this all about boys? I am feeling gender disappointment and I am pregnant with a girl. I just find it weird that this video was focused on only one gender. Weird
I went into this with high expectations, but I feel like this was focused on other peoples opinion not from the experience of the parents. I’m currently pregnant with my second and I have felt grief from believing I’m having a boy (my first is a girl) and I felt so deeply after her I was supposed to be a girl mom and although I haven’t had a gender scan, but feel it’s a boy. I wish this was more focused on the mother’s perspective and working through it.
Congratulations if it's come yet! But who says a boy can't like pink or flowers? It's all down to not placing stereotypes in the-letting them be free to be who they want to be!
We have a boy and a girl and I agree with Stacey that there is this feeling from people around you that ' oh you've got one of each why would you want anymore' which is just silly. I love having children and will be sad to stop at three. This time as with the others we found out at the 20 week scan and I'd felt all along it was a boy but my husband really wanted another girl and I could see the disappointment on his face when they said boy. As much as I knew it was a boy I am nervous as my son has been so much harder than my daughter but that's just their personality at the end of the day, our daughter is really easy going and fun but having another girl may not have been easy, the next one could have been a little madam or it could have upset the relationship with my current girl because she could have been jealous of her sister. My son is older and he won't have much in common with the youngest as there will be 7 years difference but I'm hoping everything will be great. My sons will have each other in the long run and me and my daughter will keep our special bond.
I fount out I was having a boy at my 20 week scan with COVID and dads not being aloud with you they wrote it down for me I came home and open it and it said boy I cried in shock cause I have 8 nieces and 1 nephew I told my mum and she was like are you sure . I had a feeling that I was having a boy I couldn’t be happier 😊
Well I cried and was disappointed when my baby was born with no kidneys and died at six weeks old. I was also disappointed when I had three miscarriages. I think women are very blessed who think having a boy or girl is a big issue because they take having ahealthy baby for granted
I'm currently 13w pregnant and my son will be 6 on Xmas eve. As there is a large age gap I have had a lot of pressure to have a 2nd over the last couple of years. Even with family members specifically saying they want a niece, granddaughter etc. When announcing my pregnancy the first thing my sister said was yay I'm getting a niece! Then further comments from my inlaws saying you better hope it is a girl. I lost it! Saying I think I'm made for boys and what happens if baby is a boy will they not be interested?! I would love to find out the sex, just as I like to be prepared for the nursery and clothing (not a huge fan of neutrals) but I'm thinking we will then keep it to ourselves.
Expecting 3rd boy… don’t listen to any of that bs… symptoms predictions blah blah blah. It’ll be what it’ll be. Glad i honestly prepared myself for another boy. I have no luck.
Love how this has so many voices and so many stories from so many different angles. This was like an episode of Loose Women (only better). Sshhh don't tell them I said that 😉 xxxx
Well me my boyfriend and my whole family probably wanted a girl for my second pregnancy. When we found out I was having another boy I feel like a let down for a few hours but it soon passed when he started kicking after the scan. I now feel like it’s a normal thing but at the end of the day we do love the baby unconditionally ❤️❤️
I've always imagined myself like "a boy's mother" and in fact I'm pregnant with my first baby boy! People around me, friends or perfect strangers are constantly telling me that the males are slower, lazy, etc. This saddens me a lot because, I seem to be competing with other mothers and it is something that I find really horrible and makes me uncomfortable!
I feel the same way and I absolutely love my boys! I always envisioned myself as a boys mom and clicked on this video because I am pregnant now with a girl and feeling severe gender disappointment. It was weird that this video was only focused on one gender.
People talking crap about your kid's gender should be ignored forever, just mind your own business, any gender is a blessing, you can have 10 kids of the same gender, so what? Jesus
I was very happy with my two beautiful boys. Never had brothers. All females in our family. My husband was very disappointed after the birth and said he never minded if he didn't have a son but was disappointed not to have a daughter.
I finally fell pregnant after 8 years. I just wanted a baby, and didn't and still don't understand why people give greater preference to one gender over the other. I wouldn't want to be the child who caused gender disappointment to my parents. It would probably break me inside.
Well said! I’m 12 weeks pregnant with my first baby after 5 years of infertility! Once I saw my baby in 12 weeks scan yesterday I shed tears of unbelief and joy. I can’t believe people even discuss this topic in an ear of infertility. I never wish to have specific gender just healthy baby means the world to me.
Interesting discussion. For me personally from a young wanted two girls, ive never wanted a boy as horrid as that may sound. My wish came true and I had two girls so I won't be having anymore 😊
Channel Mum footnote I also didn't have a gender reveal but knew I was having a girl :) the second time I had chosen to find out, as we were walking in I said to my fiance I bet it's a girl and I was right 😄
Same me.... people are shocked that I ever wanted girls. In India gals are considered kinda unwanted....if u have them people feel pity that u could not abort them coz gender determination is illegal. As for many I have worst case scenario of 2 gals. My MIL prayed that 1 gal would have died. I had 2 c-secs and I always wanted gals...my husband wanted only 1 child girl or boy..it didn't mattered to him..but he is extremely happy with 2 gals as well.
JuicyLucyVlog that's good you're just like my mother and dad that's what they always wanted and they had three girls my dreams always has been boys and I have 2 thank God
More than ever we can have what we want in life. I think this is one of the only things in life you should get what your given. I have a son and hand on heart I would be disappointed if i never had a daughter but I'd love my boys just as much if that's what i have.
I found out the sex purely to satisfy my husbands family. They have 4 girls and 1 boy and the pressure to have a boy was horrible. I know it wasn't deliberate but they didn't realise how it felt. So I found out I was having a girl and I'm glad I didn't spend the whole pregnancy with that kind of pressure but I'm disappointed that I had to go against my wishes to stop them
Mrs S and Co i feel u .. most my mother's-in-law grand kids r girls n um feeling the pressure coz they started to ask me about the gender but in an indirect way. In fact um not interested to know the gender of the baby um still 13 weeks preggo
I would want a girl because there so sweet and calm, but on the other hand girls could be a little sassy and a little moody, but also boys are less moody and they are more efficient than girls, but the bad thing about boys is their a bit more messier than girls and they can be more salty than girls so if I'm being honest there's a lot of benefits of having a boy and there's a lot of benefits of having a girl too but there is also some problems with having them too.
just catching up on some of these we are parents of 5 girls my hubby really wanted a boy from baby 3, unfortunately it didn't happen I have never felt a want for a boy like my hubby has. x
I was massively disappointed when I found out I was having a boy I wanted a girl so bad ! With that said he is so loved and so very much wanted just because I wanted something different doesn't mean that he isn't the most perfect loved thing ever !!
I do wanna boy however it's just because I've always had a heart for a baby boy I am beyond blessed with my sweet girls but ive been praying my 4th is a boy 💜
I loved this sooo many great points and all of you had such great stories to share if your experiences. Really enjoyed this guys. For me I'd be happy with either sex, asking as baby was healthy. I'd love to have the experience of having a boy but it wouldn't disappoint me in any way if I went on to have a girl x
Am 20 weeks pregnant and we find out at 16 weeks scan it's girl and my 20 weeks scan it's still girl everyone in the family is so happy it's girl but my mother in law is not very happy she said to me maybe it will be boy when you go for 20 weeks scan when I told her it's girl she was like am still hoping the scans are wrong and she will come out boy 😔xx
I think people dont realise that having one child who is healthy is a huge blessing from The Almighty. There are lots of women out there who dont have that one child. Imagine how they feel. I've got 3 boys who are healthy All praises to The Almighty And I know I'm the only Queen in my house 😊😉
When I was pregnant with my first baby I had my heart set on having a boy, I went for the 20 week scan and I remember feeling very disappointed that it was a girl and not a boy. I remember leaving the hospital after the scan and being very happy with the fact that my baby was a girl and she was very healthy. I wouldn't change her for the world ! I'm currently pregnant with my second child and my 20 week scan is just around the corner 😁 I will be more than happy if it's another girl and I will be happy if it's a boy ! So far as the baby is healthy I'm happy.
I didn't think too much about it with my first two children and I had two boys. Now that I'm having a third we are really hoping for a girl. We tracked my cycle for months so we could try the swing method to conceive a girl, or at least give ourselves the best chance. So as much as we would love to have a girl we feel we did everything within our power to help that possibility and if it doesn't happen that's just the way it was meant to be. And 3 boys means we have good odds of having a granddaughter some day lol. That being said, I would be sad to hear the words "it's another boy", so to keep my mind occupied I have been tracking and testing all the various myths and theories about guessing the gender so that by the end I can say what worked and what was wrong. I never did it with my boys, but so far every test I've tried said girl... even the wedding ring on a string, even the which boob is bigger. Even the Chinese calendar. I'm going to have a blood test and gender reveal in February next year, that should be interesting
I have 4 sons and pregnant again. Would love a girl, but have a strong feeling that it's a boy. My preference are boys but I want this one to be a girl so badly, then again I just want a healthy baby and to be done with pregnancy.
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Im expecting my 3rd girl, and i was shocked because i felt like it was a boy. However i am truly blessed no matter what! I just want a healthy baby:)
When I had my second boy, I was disappointed that it wasn't the girl everyone had foreseen. I am now 17 weeks along with my third and I would love a girl but I refuse to find out the gender because I do not want the feeling of discouragement and disappointment (and sadness) to be passed to the baby. I would rather wait and be rejoicing due to having a healthy baby, regardless of the sex.
Beautiful. I also don't know the gender yet. Already have a friend saying "hope you could have a girl like me". I'm not gender shopping. If I want to dress a girl up, I can buy a doll or dress my niece. My love is unconditional. The sad thing though is that I already know society is going to give me condolences when it turns out to be another boy, which is such a sad reality. Especially in the family.
Such an interesting topic! I have two boys and am pregnant again and have had so many comments about hoping it's a girl or that we are going for the girl! One of the reasons I didn't find out the gender as feels like other people would be negative about a boy. We always wanted three and I'd of course love a girl but will equally be so happy with another son. People think a boy and a girl is "perfect" but same sex siblings are super special! Xxx
SJ Strum I definitely agree with you I'm going to have my second boy and I'm very happy since I had my two sisters it makes more sense siblings of the same gender because they will understand each other much better.
Agreed! My mom had one of each, boy and girl, and honestly I think it would have been better if I had a sister or my brother had a brother instead but u can’t really chose those things.
When I had my 3rd girl, I was especially upset and emotional at first as my hormones were all over the place, but now I couldn't be happier, if I am ever blessed with a boy in the future, so be it ... however when I had my 3rd baby girl, many people congratulated me ..but the one lady I remember, came up to me, but rather than congratulate me, she just said "Hopefully next time" and walked off...I wanted to cry...Boy or Girl ... Every child is a blessing
My hubby and I went through IVF to conceive. We were lucky to be blessed with our first son after one round of IVF (along with being able to freeze embryos). When we tried for number two I had 3 miscarriages back to back. It was devastating, and many tears were shed feeling like I wouldn’t give our son a sibling. Thankfully after the 3 miscarriages, we conceived our second son naturally!
I know how lucky I am to have two healthy boys, but I’d be lying my arse off if I said I didn’t feel the loss of never having a daughter. It’s not at all because my boys aren’t good enough (they’re wonderful and I literally throw myself in front of a bus to save their lives). It’s just I had always envisioned having a daughter. I’m one of two sisters, and grew up in a very girl dominated family.
Having two boys has been a real eye opener too - so many times my husband has had to reassure me that my boys behaviour is normal for a boy, because it’s so foreign to me growing up with one sister. And by that, I just mean a lot more rough play, play fighting, and wanting to bouncing around off walls most the time (yes, I realise some girls are energetic too, but I see a huge difference between my sons, and friends sons, when compared to friends daughters).
I also see a difference between how grown up women are with their family, Vs how grown up men are with their family. I know it’s generalising, but most guys I know are more distant from their parents (less frequent contact, catching up etc) when compared to women. Women seem to spend a lot more time contacting their parents and organising to catch up and do things. Again, I know there are exceptions, but that’s not as common.
So for me, my gender disappoint is really around feeling like I won’t experience what a mother and daughter relationship has to offer. Not getting to be Mother of the Bride if my daughter married. Not getting to connect with my daughter when she is pregnant (I’m sure a future daughter in law is not exactly going to want her mother in law up in her face whilst pregnant). It’s just a different type of relationship. My hubby is my best friend, but the conversation I have with him are slightly different to the conversations I have with my female best friend. I think that’s what it comes down to a lot of the time.
I definitely had gender disappointment. Since I could remember, when I envisioned myself as a mother I always pictured myself with a little girl. I'm not ashamed to say I did cry at the 20 week scan when the tech said it was a boy. But now he's one and I can't picture my life without my little prince.
Hoping baby #2 is a girl tho 🤞🤞
I understand why people can be disappointed , but if you have suffered loss or heartache with conceiving, miscarriage etc it doesn't matter what the sex of your baby is. A healthy child is the best result, it's society that makes you think you need the 2.4 children thing . I have two girls and get asked if I'd like a boy, i want to roll my eyes X
I've seen comments from women who state they have had miscarriages and still have a preference. I think ultimately we ALL want a healthy pregnancy, but gender preference is a real thing and so is gender disappointment.
So glad you're discussing this. I experienced gender disappointment when I was pregnant with my son and felt so ashamed to feel that way when I was pregnant with a healthy baby, especially as we have friends who are struggling to conceive. Although my husband was great I didn't find there was much out there in terms of support and agree it definitely feels like a taboo subject. As most have said though, as soon as I had my son those feelings disappeared and I am so in love with him I can't believe I ever felt that way!x
The only reason I prefer a boy over a girl is because I'm terrified of what society will do to my girl. I don't want her to get used or shamed like many girls do. But, maybe it will go well for her. I never really know how things will turn out.
Me too
Thats why iam freaking out about being now pregnant with my first which is a girl
I’m in the same boat. I think a boy can protect himself (high chance), but a girl is too precious. Many predators out there. We live in a sick world.
After a miscarriage I just wanted a healthy baby :)
Loved this! Especially with the two special guests 💙 the pressure is the worst; sometime having that tiny spark of disappointment is majorly amplified by other people and that's so annoying as it can ruin the pregnancy and birth
still cant get over the lady in the lift?!
I totally get this, I had our third son 20 years ago and still cry now and again about the daughter I never had. It is real and the pain of my loss still feels raw. I wish I could find closure but I can't. My boys are fabulous and make me so proud but I never got to the do the pink thing, will never be the mother of the bride and will always be the "other" grandmother . My biggest regret was not having one more go - I honestly feel so cheated and wish my heart would heal x
PinkPrincess Cazmacalan u couldve adopted a girl or even a baby girl if u can now why not try to adopt
Amal Alyazeedy adoption is a lot of money tho
Don’t be upset. I am currently pregnant with my fourth and I only went for it to try for a girl and just found out it’s a boy and the gender disappointment is even worse than not trying .... I am going through a very rough time and I really want this sadness to pass.... I’m going to be a four boy mum and As much as I love my kids it really scares me
Serella & BitterJoy In Australia, adoption can cost around $100,000. That’s kind of a silly thing to say
@@sarahb7180 how are you feeling now?
I spoke about this recently and I was so surprised at the amount of people who thanked me for talking about it because they had experienced gender disappointment and felt guilty about it. I desperately wanted a girl so I decided not to find out the sex of the baby until it was born, I was thrilled that she was a girl but at that moment I absolutely would not have cared either way. It's definitely a taboo subject but I don't think people should feel ashamed for having feelings of disappointment, it's a human emotion and it's important to express how you feel and not bottle it up. Loved this, as usual, great to see Sam on the sofa! 😊
When I told my mother in law we were having our second girl she said “oh well nevermind” was so gutted as I was SO happy to have two girls and if I ever have another I would genuinely love another girl 👧 shame people can be quite hurtful with their comments
I want to share something about me
I was married I didn't have any kids like for 7 yes after marriage me and my husband was hoping for a healthy baby after so many doctor recommendations and tries I conceive a baby after nine months later I have a cute little healthy chubby babygirl
I was feeling so blessed at that time and thanking God to sending this cutie to me
Every child is blessing no matter what is the gender be happy with it ☺️❤️❤️❤️
I have 4 daughters. When they started their families I told all of them you get what you get and you don't get upset. My first two were twins born 12 weeks early and almost died several times. We were just glad when our baby showed up alive and healthy. Gender is a non issue for us.
I'm pregnant with baby no 2 and and I hate to admit that I would be a bit disappointed if we had another boy because although I adore my son its been hard work from the start due to allergies and reflux and now we are heading into really tough toddler years. In my head (probably because I keep getting told how different little girls are by family) it might be different and maybe easier if we had a girl. It's not even really about having a girly girl its more about how different it could be. In reality though another boy would probably be just as different.
I'm curious. What is the gender of baby #2? Is he or she different from your first? BTW, congrats.
I hope everyone enjoys watching this as much as I did having the chat! Charlie x
Oooh, I'm very late to the party, but this just came up in my suggested videos, I think since I published my vlog on gender disappointment. It was really nice to hear a chatty discussion on this subject, with lots of different viewpoints and experiences. I have three boys so can identify lots with the things Emily was saying!
Chloe Bridge I had three boys at first and l think society puts pressure on us, that and family. I had a lot of people that were telling me that l wouldn't know how to raise a girl if l got one, like l didn't deserve it after 3 boys, people are just so idiotic. Yeah you would, you'd raise her perfectly fine because you would know her...ugh.
Well Ellise came on the last ferry and magically all the bullies started telling us we were "done now". Why we let people dictate to us on the goings on in our wombs beggers belief!
I'm a Mum of 2 boys and I love it! I get asked ALL. THE. TIME if I am going to be going again to "try and get a girl" - No, I have 2 healthy children and that's all that matters!!
Yes I do feel like I might miss out on some things like when they are pregnant or when they get married but hopefully our boys will have lovely partners in their lives who will want to involve me in things! I think there is something so special about multiples of the same sex.
We had a surprise both times and it was amazing. Ahhh, so wish I could do labour again!!
Well done ladies,, fab job. Charlie you were a great host! xx
I have a girl and a boy. And when I found out my second was a boy I did feel some gender disappointment (for me rather than disappointment it was more apprehension and feeling anxious) there are no boys in my family and I loved having a girl so much I just couldn't imagine my life with a boy. However now he is a happy 4 month old and he is just wonderful! My
Daughter loves him so much and I can't wait until they start playing together. I was feeling apprehension right up until his birth. But I have to say he is such a mummy's boy whereas my daughter is a daddy's girl so it's really nice for us both to have that:)
I know this is an old comment but I'm so pleased I've read this and that someone feels/felt the same as me. Every gender disappointment video ive seen is about having one sex and wanting the other. I have a girl and really wanted another. I was convinced it was another girl and was so shocked when I found out It's a boy. I don't like any boys names or any boys clothes. I'm really struggling but it's not something I feel like I can talk to with anyone. Xxx
We found out with our two children, we have a boy and a girl. Now we're expecting baby 3 and having a surprise :)
"Gender disappointment"? I'd rather call it "boy disappointment".
And that's a shame really. Boys mums need to stand up to this. Our society is getting more and more hostile towards boys and men. Feminism isn't about misandry but about equal rights. We need to support our sons the way we support our daughters ❤️
You are absolutely right! When men are disappointed because they wanted a son, women roll their eyes and make snarky comments. When women are disappointed because they wanted a girl, they get sympathy. I know so many women who have healthy, perfect sons and act like victims because they didn't get a girl. When they try for another baby they let everyone know they want a girl. It is so ungrateful, so insensitive, such a horrible thing to let everyone know another son would be a disappointment. I see this in mother's groups I am a part of and it's basically normalized sexism. Little boys are every bit as precious, loveable, and valuable as girls are.
I have one boy and one girl which I'm very grateful for! People now say 'one of each, you can stop now!' errr no! x
After being told at 21 I would never conceive a baby I was so relieved when I found out I was pregnant the gender was irrelevant. After having 2 boys I unexpectedly found myself pregnant with my third baby and I'm not going to lie was desperate for a little girl as I'm a very girly girl and my boys are typical boys!!
At our 20 week scan I was terrified to find out the gender because I couldn't bare the guilt of feeling disappointed.
I didn't want to know the gender in the scan but my partner did. The sonographer discreetly told him the gender and he sat with his head in his hands moaning about his bank balance. I knew at that point we were having a girl lol.
I don't feel ashamed to admit I would have been disappointed to not have had a girl but that's not to say I wouldn't have loved a boy any less. In hindsight now it really wouldn't bother me as I'm now facing a radical hysterectomy at the age of 33 years old so I now just feel incredibly blessed to have been given the chance to have been able to be a mummy regardless of gender.
wow you've been through a lot michelle - amazing that you got three gorgeous children! x
I'm pregnant with my second right now and I already have a girl. I'm getting pressure from a lot of people for a boy. And I'm honestly afraid to find out what I'm having. I feel like I'd want a boy just to make others happy not that I wouldn't be happy too. But I just want to breath and try to enjoy my pregnancy without thinking about gender.
TogetherForeverOct09 keep the gender a surprise for ur ease of mind
TogetherForeverOct09 i still dont know the gender but um thinkin not to tell anyone this time coz theyre so pretty much nosy its none of their business
I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant with our third boy the amount of disappointment we had from everybody at our 20 week scan was amazing comments like oh well you'll have to have another one and oh that's a shame I was like well no not really 3 is more than enough thank you 😂
I'm a mother of 3 boys and I'm pregnant with my 4th baby, I wanted so bad to have a lil girl, but guess what? Another BOY!
It did hit me hard but I'm really happy now and yes this is my last baby.
Claudia Rivera hi there x x I am in the same place as you. Pregnant with my fourth boy at 20 weeks. I was so upset I considered termination and still dealing with horrible feelings. How are you feeling now?
Aw loved this video! Let's not let my hubby see it 😂😂
I thought I wanted a boy but when my first baby was born I realised all I wanted was her and no other baby in the world
Bit late to the party here lol but Our hospital didn't tell you what the sex of the baby was so we were told at my 24week scan which we paid for privately that I was having a girl. I was so excited for everything girly - Disney princesses etc but when I went into labour out came my beautiful baby boy 🙈 biggest shock of our lives! I wouldn't change him for the world now but I definitely would say that I was disappointed that the life I had planned out for my little girl wouldn't happen but I really couldn't imagine life without my boy. I'm definitely a boy mum now & don't have a clue what I would do with a girl!
We had a boy and then a girl so we were lucky on the gender front as no one had concerns or questions past 'oh and boy and a girl. You're done then!' Errr why? Because we've covered both bases? 🙄
My sister has 4 boys and then had a girl and she desp wanted a girl and she wanted was disappointed a bit and there was NO shame in that. It's ok to be be disappointed. She loves her 4th son more than words and nothing ever meant she didn't love him but she was allowed to be a bit sad that she wasn't having a girl when she wanted one. And if anyone every tried to make her feel bad I'd be very very cross.
Great video, I love everyone's different thoughts on what is a taboo subject. I have 3 boys and 2 girls, so haven't had time to experience gender disappointment, but I truly think it's such a natural thing to have a preference after wanting a healthy baby. But like Sam said I think we have what we are meant to have and I wouldn't want to intervene with that like gender selection.
Loved how honest you all are in this. Such a good discussion and an interesting topic. I think if I had a third I wouldn't find out what I'm having as I do think it's the exciting part and something which fate decided for us which is nice xx
I love the honestly in the video! Also from the mum's that recorded their views. Another great video. I wanted a boy with my first due to a strain relationship with my own mum but once I found out my goodness I was the happiest mum in the world ❤️
We found out with our little girl. We already thought she was a girl, but wouldn't have minded either way. I did feel a little pressure from family as it's been a long time since a baby girl was born, but I knew no one would have really minded. I couldn't imagine Evie being a little boy now!
Thank you so much 😊
Yay little jackson! So much honesty and loveliness in this video. Thank you for keeping on tackling these tricky topics. x x
such an interesting topic , I didn't realise how many women experience gender disappointment!
Men do as well…
Wanted a boy initially wouldn't swap my girls for the world would have a house full of them lol X
Wait why are you guys only talking about boys
Your rite I hate them
I actually agree with the medical system that stopped doing scans unless it was paid for.
Does this stuff really matter? As long as the baby is healthy it's all that matters after all it's a baby not a doll you dress up, it is so insignificant and unimportant at the end it's YOUR little baby. I am having my 2nd boy and I am so happy to see my little boys bond together and be best friends 😀 when you hold them in your arm's you don't care what is their gender! 😊
This is a wonderful video. I was excited to have a boy for my first since I came from a family of 4 girls. I wanted two children so I was hoping for one of each. I had an ultrasound back in 1986 and it said girl. I found out when it was another boy when he was born and everyone knew how disappointed I was. Even at the hospital telling me I was a bad Mom for feeling that day. After a few days I was in love. Then I thought about trying again in my 30s and nothing ever happened. At age 45 I had a surprise pregnancy and it was another boy. Then at age 60 I found out I was going to be a Grandma and that one was a boy too. A year and a half later I had another Grandson but the end of this month I found out I was getting a Granddaughter. I am over the moon. I love all of my boys as I will love this little girl too!
I love being a mother of three boys!!! They are all so loving and so helpful ❤✨✨ currently 11 weeks and this pregnancy is completely different… I know it’s a baby girl ❤❤
If it’s another boy, I’ll still be just as happy!! Congratulations to all new mommies out there🎉🎉
Hi 👋
I’ve had 5 girls and then
gave a stop
After 7 years I got pregnant 🤰 again
And my first scan I was happpy because everyone was it’s gonna be a boy but my scan showed I’m having a girl again I was shocked upset 😢
I couldn’t stop crying 😢 still I think about happy stufff but I can’t do it any more it’s so upsetting
I still cry I can’t stop crying
Zoe Smith u shouldve gone to ob. To help u sway for boy n ur hubby shouldve done a test he may dont hav healthy male sperms
We’re having girl numbed 2 and I felt so much pressure from my husband to have a boy and when we found out we were having another girl I was crushed and as much as he tells me all he wants is a healthy baby I know how excited and happy he would have been to have a boy.. I def feel like I should have waited until birth to find out because I feel like once they are born and you see their sweet face you just instantly fall in love and feel connected regardless of what their sex is..
When I was pregnant with my first I literally wished to have a girl. When I was told I was at my 20 week scan I couldn't believe it - and I honestly do think I would have been a bit disappointed if I was having a boy. Now I have one of each I realise how silly that is though! Although I am sick of people saying 'oh one of each, you don't need anymore' - I'd loveeee another haha x
My daughter didn’t think she would be a mother, since her husband had a vasectomy 10 years before they were married.. He had it reversed and she miscarried with her first pregnancy last year. She is now 11 weeks pregnant and she doesn’t care either way, she’s just excited she’s going to be a mother!
I longed for a girl until an issue come up at my 20 week scan regarding babies health and I realised at that moment how pathetic and insignificant wanting a certain gender was. And how stupid I was obsessing about gender
I'm pregnant and I was made to feel like a horrible person for saying I have a gender preference. So much so that I've stopped talking about my pregnancy and I'm not revealing before my baby is born. I think it's sad that we can't support and accept that we're all different and that's it's alright.
I wanted a baby boy so bad just did my 20wk gender reveal and it’s a girl… I feel depressed but I still am happy baby’s healthy just thought it was a boy 100%
I’ve never had a kid but I want a daughter very badly and I’ve dealt with being extremely terrified of having a boy, because honestly pregnancy and childbirth sound like things I do not want to have to do more than once to get a daughter lol. Anyway, something that helps me a LOT is to remember that gender literally will not determine anything about your child’s personality. Like, even if you ended up getting the gender you wanted in your baby, even still then you have to remember that this idealized vision of your life and their life is made up. Yes, girls usually have a set of feminine traits and characters and the same goes for boys with masculine characteristics, but that’s also a result of the way we raise kids to fall into their gender norms. If you envisioned talking about boy crushes with your daughter, or helping her dress up for prom, or buying dolls and girly clothes for her or whatever, just remember that your kid could be gay first of all, your kid could end up not identifying with their gender assignment from birth, or your kid could simply just not cater to traditional gender roles. Most likely, they won’t cater to gender norms in all the exact ways you expect them to. The gender of your baby will not determine their personality or the experiences you have with them growing up, but again, your feelings are valid and this is still a hard thing to come to terms with sometimes. Gender disappointment is very real but I think the sooner we try to dismantle heteronormativity and cis-normativity, the better off both we and our children are
With my first I just had a feeling I was having a boy and was so pleased to find out I was right. My partners side of the family is all boys and when we tried for our second everyone was hoping for a girl. Me included. But at the scan I could see straight away it was a boy. I was sad for a little bit if I'm honest but the moment he came into the world I was in love all over again. I wouldn't change being a mum of boys now.
I'm 17 weeks pregnant with our first baby and my husband and I really wanted a boy. Well, I wanted a boy because I want to have a little Ryan (my husband's name) around. I wanted to have a boy who will be just like my husband when he was a little boy. He was so cute in the pictures so i really wanted to have just like him. We had our gender scan last week and the OB said there's a high chance that it will be a girl... i'm kinda disappointed but that's just for seconds... we're both happy after that because having a girl will be just as cute as having a boy. 😊
Like with Charlie, my sister had 3 boys, I had George and then I got pregnant and everyone said it's HAD to be a girl and if it was a boy send it back (hahaha. So hilarious... 😠) and I had an Alice. And I was really happy as I honestly wanted girls but I'd have loved my child no matter what. Even if George decides he wants to be Georgia or if Alice wants to be Alan. I love my kids exactly as they are.
When I got pregnant everyone thought I was having a girl so I got excited and sort of started planning everything pink, but then I went for the scan and it was a boy and I was shocked, and disappointed. It sounds horrible to say and I know I can try again but I really want that whole "pink, sparkle and girly" thing and to have a best friend relationship with a girl. :) x
1:15 To be honest people are way way way more obsessed with having a boy.
In certain cultures yes. I think in the western culture, it's preferred to have a girl
I would agree with the second comment. Mumsnet, Netmums, ingender, etc. are awash with women wanting girls. I am a woman who wanted a girl too... part of it may have been growing up in a culture (but in a Western country, just have family from Asian background) that prefers boys and fighting against that.
Instead of people being disappointed with genders just be glad you can have children most couples try for many years to have children and some couples can’t have children
Exactly my son was born with heart failure and almost died !
I personally feel like I would make a better girl mom, because my interests are stereotypically 'girly,' but I absolutely would still love a son 100% as much as I would love a daughter, and would make sure he felt this 100% love from me!
Why is this all about boys? I am feeling gender disappointment and I am pregnant with a girl. I just find it weird that this video was focused on only one gender. Weird
Don't get discouraged dear,girls mature faster than boys, they learn very quickly and become independent very quickly.
I went into this with high expectations, but I feel like this was focused on other peoples opinion not from the experience of the parents. I’m currently pregnant with my second and I have felt grief from believing I’m having a boy (my first is a girl) and I felt so deeply after her I was supposed to be a girl mom and although I haven’t had a gender scan, but feel it’s a boy. I wish this was more focused on the mother’s perspective and working through it.
I am 31 and having my first child. Husband and I want a girl but if it's a boy, 100% happy too!! I just like all the pink and flowery things for girls
Congratulations if it's come yet! But who says a boy can't like pink or flowers? It's all down to not placing stereotypes in the-letting them be free to be who they want to be!
We have a boy and a girl and I agree with Stacey that there is this feeling from people around you that ' oh you've got one of each why would you want anymore' which is just silly. I love having children and will be sad to stop at three. This time as with the others we found out at the 20 week scan and I'd felt all along it was a boy but my husband really wanted another girl and I could see the disappointment on his face when they said boy. As much as I knew it was a boy I am nervous as my son has been so much harder than my daughter but that's just their personality at the end of the day, our daughter is really easy going and fun but having another girl may not have been easy, the next one could have been a little madam or it could have upset the relationship with my current girl because she could have been jealous of her sister. My son is older and he won't have much in common with the youngest as there will be 7 years difference but I'm hoping everything will be great. My sons will have each other in the long run and me and my daughter will keep our special bond.
I fount out I was having a boy at my 20 week scan with COVID and dads not being aloud with you they wrote it down for me I came home and open it and it said boy I cried in shock cause I have 8 nieces and 1 nephew I told my mum and she was like are you sure . I had a feeling that I was having a boy I couldn’t be happier 😊
Well I cried and was disappointed when my baby was born with no kidneys and died at six weeks old. I was also disappointed when I had three miscarriages. I think women are very blessed who think having a boy or girl is a big issue because they take having ahealthy baby for granted
I'm currently 13w pregnant and my son will be 6 on Xmas eve. As there is a large age gap I have had a lot of pressure to have a 2nd over the last couple of years. Even with family members specifically saying they want a niece, granddaughter etc. When announcing my pregnancy the first thing my sister said was yay I'm getting a niece! Then further comments from my inlaws saying you better hope it is a girl. I lost it! Saying I think I'm made for boys and what happens if baby is a boy will they not be interested?!
I would love to find out the sex, just as I like to be prepared for the nursery and clothing (not a huge fan of neutrals) but I'm thinking we will then keep it to ourselves.
I think that age difference is great!!
Expecting 3rd boy… don’t listen to any of that bs… symptoms predictions blah blah blah. It’ll be what it’ll be. Glad i honestly prepared myself for another boy. I have no luck.
I'm 13 so I'm not going to have a baby for a really long time but I really want a boy I bond better with family's baby boys instead of girls ❤️
But what if you get one
@@Mackenzie88 then it's getting thrown in the adoption centre.
Love how this has so many voices and so many stories from so many different angles. This was like an episode of Loose Women (only better). Sshhh don't tell them I said that 😉 xxxx
i reckon the loose women are shaking in their boots right now ;)
JK and Charlie mwaah ha ha ha ha. Well it's a digital age. But that clever lot put lots of their content on youtube x
they do indeed! But they're very good at what they do. xx
Pregnant with a boy. Couldn’t be happier. Not at all interested in having a daughter.
But what if you get one
Well me my boyfriend and my whole family probably wanted a girl for my second pregnancy. When we found out I was having another boy I feel like a let down for a few hours but it soon passed when he started kicking after the scan. I now feel like it’s a normal thing but at the end of the day we do love the baby unconditionally ❤️❤️
I've always imagined myself like "a boy's mother" and in fact I'm pregnant with my first baby boy! People around me, friends or perfect strangers are constantly telling me that the males are slower, lazy, etc. This saddens me a lot because, I seem to be competing with other mothers and it is something that I find really horrible and makes me uncomfortable!
I feel the same way and I absolutely love my boys! I always envisioned myself as a boys mom and clicked on this video because I am pregnant now with a girl and feeling severe gender disappointment. It was weird that this video was only focused on one gender.
People talking crap about your kid's gender should be ignored forever, just mind your own business, any gender is a blessing, you can have 10 kids of the same gender, so what? Jesus
I was very happy with my two beautiful boys. Never had brothers. All females in our family. My husband was very disappointed after the birth and said he never minded if he didn't have a son but was disappointed not to have a daughter.
Is the one who starts talking a mom aswell? If yes please link to her channel.
Hi Shkurta - I think you mean me x
JK and Charlie thank you so much. I really think you are lovely and i love listning to you.
I finally fell pregnant after 8 years. I just wanted a baby, and didn't and still don't understand why people give greater preference to one gender over the other. I wouldn't want to be the child who caused gender disappointment to my parents. It would probably break me inside.
Well said! I’m 12 weeks pregnant with my first baby after 5 years of infertility! Once I saw my baby in 12 weeks scan yesterday I shed tears of unbelief and joy. I can’t believe people even discuss this topic in an ear of infertility. I never wish to have specific gender just healthy baby means the world to me.
@@manidada618 well said to you too! And congratulations! I know how it feels after years of waiting
It's not a choice, its just how some of us feel. I'm sure there are myriad reasons why some people want a boy or a girl.
Interesting discussion. For me personally from a young wanted two girls, ive never wanted a boy as horrid as that may sound. My wish came true and I had two girls so I won't be having anymore 😊
Channel Mum footnote I also didn't have a gender reveal but knew I was having a girl :) the second time I had chosen to find out, as we were walking in I said to my fiance I bet it's a girl and I was right 😄
Same me.... people are shocked that I ever wanted girls. In India gals are considered kinda unwanted....if u have them people feel pity that u could not abort them coz gender determination is illegal. As for many I have worst case scenario of 2 gals. My MIL prayed that 1 gal would have died. I had 2 c-secs and I always wanted gals...my husband wanted only 1 child girl or boy..it didn't mattered to him..but he is extremely happy with 2 gals as well.
JuicyLucyVlog that's good you're just like my mother and dad that's what they always wanted and they had three girls my dreams always has been boys and I have 2 thank God
Thank you
I feel there's an expectation from family aswell for you to have either one or the other ,really dnt matter to mum's or their family
I faced it with my first child from my mother-in-law 😟she wanted a boy but my second baby is a boy.Me and my husband were ok with any gender.
I am currently pregnant and finding out the sex tomorrow. My husband really wants a boy. I believe it’s a boy. But we will be happy either way 🥰
What was it?
More than ever we can have what we want in life. I think this is one of the only things in life you should get what your given. I have a son and hand on heart I would be disappointed if i never had a daughter but I'd love my boys just as much if that's what i have.
I found out the sex purely to satisfy my husbands family. They have 4 girls and 1 boy and the pressure to have a boy was horrible. I know it wasn't deliberate but they didn't realise how it felt. So I found out I was having a girl and I'm glad I didn't spend the whole pregnancy with that kind of pressure but I'm disappointed that I had to go against my wishes to stop them
Mrs S and Co i feel u .. most my mother's-in-law grand kids r girls n um feeling the pressure coz they started to ask me about the gender but in an indirect way. In fact um not interested to know the gender of the baby um still 13 weeks preggo
I would want a girl because there so sweet and calm, but on the other hand girls could be a little sassy and a little moody, but also boys are less moody and they are more efficient than girls, but the bad thing about boys is their a bit more messier than girls and they can be more salty than girls so if I'm being honest there's a lot of benefits of having a boy and there's a lot of benefits of having a girl too but there is also some problems with having them too.
just catching up on some of these we are parents of 5 girls my hubby really wanted a boy from baby 3, unfortunately it didn't happen I have never felt a want for a boy like my hubby has. x
I was massively disappointed when I found out I was having a boy I wanted a girl so bad ! With that said he is so loved and so very much wanted just because I wanted something different doesn't mean that he isn't the most perfect loved thing ever !!
Myself and my husband have two boys and I'm pregnant with a girl right now and I think my husband is sad that we aren't having an other boy.
Really? I think once your baby is born he'll change his mind💖
Lovely discussion
Enjoyed !
I do wanna boy however it's just because I've always had a heart for a baby boy I am beyond blessed with my sweet girls but ive been praying my 4th is a boy 💜
Can NIPT be wrong ?
No
I loved this sooo many great points and all of you had such great stories to share if your experiences. Really enjoyed this guys. For me I'd be happy with either sex, asking as baby was healthy. I'd love to have the experience of having a boy but it wouldn't disappoint me in any way if I went on to have a girl x
I have four children all adults now. I love babies.
1:55 wtf that doesnt even make sense
Am 20 weeks pregnant and we find out at 16 weeks scan it's girl and my 20 weeks scan it's still girl everyone in the family is so happy it's girl but my mother in law is not very happy she said to me maybe it will be boy when you go for 20 weeks scan when I told her it's girl she was like am still hoping the scans are wrong and she will come out boy 😔xx
1 sided conversation lol can’t relate - I have a girl and would love a bunch of girls
I think people dont realise that having one child who is healthy is a huge blessing from The Almighty.
There are lots of women out there who dont have that one child. Imagine how they feel.
I've got 3 boys who are healthy
All praises to The Almighty
And I know I'm the only Queen in my house 😊😉
So having an unhealthy one is a curse from god?
@@firamiragromova4582 of course not have unhealthy baby is much bigger blessing. Please don't over think
When I was pregnant with my first baby I had my heart set on having a boy, I went for the 20 week scan and I remember feeling very disappointed that it was a girl and not a boy. I remember leaving the hospital after the scan and being very happy with the fact that my baby was a girl and she was very healthy. I wouldn't change her for the world ! I'm currently pregnant with my second child and my 20 week scan is just around the corner 😁 I will be more than happy if it's another girl and I will be happy if it's a boy ! So far as the baby is healthy I'm happy.
I didn't think too much about it with my first two children and I had two boys. Now that I'm having a third we are really hoping for a girl. We tracked my cycle for months so we could try the swing method to conceive a girl, or at least give ourselves the best chance. So as much as we would love to have a girl we feel we did everything within our power to help that possibility and if it doesn't happen that's just the way it was meant to be. And 3 boys means we have good odds of having a granddaughter some day lol.
That being said, I would be sad to hear the words "it's another boy", so to keep my mind occupied I have been tracking and testing all the various myths and theories about guessing the gender so that by the end I can say what worked and what was wrong. I never did it with my boys, but so far every test I've tried said girl... even the wedding ring on a string, even the which boob is bigger. Even the Chinese calendar. I'm going to have a blood test and gender reveal in February next year, that should be interesting
I really need a boy
Why are women always disappointed to have sons????
so true is like if you are not having a girl the pregnancy doesn't matter
I have 4 sons and pregnant again. Would love a girl, but have a strong feeling that it's a boy.
My preference are boys but I want this one to be a girl so badly, then again I just want a healthy baby and to be done with pregnancy.
Not even interested to find out the sex of the baby. Everyone keeps telling me it's girl but my gut feeling is saying otherwise.