How & Why I Became a Stay at Home Wife and Homemaker (before having kids)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 มิ.ย. 2024
- Check out my website: homewithkelli.co
Links Mentioned:
Managing Money as a Homemaker + Our Finance Tracker: • Managing Money as a Ho...
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When I quit my banking job my boss was shocked that I wasn’t going to another job. Me saying I was “going home,” she just couldn’t get over, especially bc I was young and didn’t have a baby yet. But it was the biggest blessing.
That is amazing!! And so cool that you also quit being having a baby! I always love hearing your story Dorothy!!
Proud of your decision 😊
3 months after meeting my husband we got married. (We always made sure it was for the right reasons, which is why we are so perfect together)
I remember when he told me I didn’t need to work, I felt so relieved. We were away from family so I never got judged, but once we moved back
To his hometown everyone always asked “so what do YOU do for work?”
It always feels so degrading. I feel pressure to make stuff up or start rambling about what I do for him, so I finally got a job at a horse barn. My days were physically demanding and exhausting. I never wanted to cook when I got home, never wanted to clean, never felt like I could contribute, and obviously my husband felt the same being in a blue collar job. Our relationship started to take a toll. We were disagreeing a lot, eating really unhealthy, and never felt like being affectionate to eachother. Finally my husband told me to quit because he knew and felt the strain it was putting on me, and as much as I get judged for it from other woman, boy do I feel amazing.
I do think there’s a difference between someone being surprised, because it’s uncommon, and actually “judging” you. I would practice what you plan to say to make it an edifying experience for the other person, rather than letting their supposed judgement affect you. “I’m a homemaker right now, supporting my husband with his business, and preparing our lives to hopefully welcome children into it in the next year or two!”
@@maryanne.sanders Respectfully, I would hesitate before saying "right now" or including children in your reasoning (if childless) because that implies that homemaking is temporary or contingent upon life circumstances. As she's saying so well in the video, homemaking can be so incredibly rewarding and it's truly a full not-contingent-on-anything occupation.
Especially if someone is struggling to conceive, it can be emotionally taxing to include children in the reasoning for homemaking, as that is a constant painful reminder of unmet hopes and expectations.
I went to college as well but never really wanted to work outside the home... Also disliked starting at a screen, missing out on life and nature. Being able to find my husband, a wonderful man, and staying home with my three beautiful kids will always be the biggest blessing in my life. Thank you for affirming these values!!
Oh and girl! Getting further into this video. Our experiences are so similar! Shopping to lift my mood...I used to tack something on for myself at almost every Target run because I was trying to fill this void... And being too tired to cook and then feeling guilty because of how much more it costs and being a health nut and then not living by those values... Thinking I was just inferior and lacking but then realizing that honoring myself, my personality, my values and changing that has allowed for everything to fall into place! I wish you happiness and success on YOUR terms!
Thank you so much for this comment Kelly! So encouraging to hear your story as well!!
Oh wow…I never realized the guilt I felt being home and trying to justify my worth because I wasn’t bring in an income. Boy, society has really done a number on us. There’s days if I took the afternoon to go to the beach I’d feel guilty wondering if I was productive enough and will my husband be upset because I had free time and he’s busy working. Wow the stories we tell in our heads is crazy. Thank you for putting into words exactly how I feel! Many blessings.❤
Hi Missy! Yes, I think these feelings are all too common. Glad you are encouraged, God bless you and your husband!
This video is so on time for me! I have always wanted to be a homemaker and have a large family. But for now, i am a single homeowner. Just this morning, during my morning prayer, I asked God “ why do I feel more fulfilled after a day of cleaning, decorating my house and cooking, than I do at my job?”
I have an HR degree but never enjoyed any of my jobs. I pray every day to God to help me glorify him in my job by doing my best and sharing His love. However, I feel I’m doing that best when I am working within my home. Wild!
So I don’t know why God put that in me while I’m still single, but I will continue to trust that it is a part of His purpose for me❤️🙏
You are not alone sister! I am feeling the same way.. my husband and I just relocated to a new state for his job and I left mine.. I’ve been feeling the Holy Spirit telling me to relax and take it easy don’t rush for a job because I don’t have to and it’s completely against what I’m used to but I feel there’s a higher purpose for me staying home and taking care of myself, and my husband. I feel so much better having my own routine and just being home, going in walks in nature, cooking healthy meals
Look at all you are adding to society from home now! You don't have babies yet, but God is using you. You are a blessing!
Thank you so much Sarah! ❤️
I told my husband the other day that if I could go back in time, I would not have gone to college, I would have stayed home right after we were married. Thanks for sharing.
Ah I so agree, and I hope that that starts to become the norm again!!
❤
I work 40 hours per week, but, still a homemaker. And it is true that it is limited what we can do because we are already exhausted from work. I attend our yard animal at night after work. Cook dinner after work. Clean, laundry, etc. Too many things at home to do. That's why I don't understand when people post in social media of how bored they are...
'What are you doing all day' is just a lack of vision of what could be done in a home. So true!!! It al starts with a vision and that is the blueprint for creation
Amen! God bless you!
Beautifully said Kelli! I am 43 and my husband and I were only going to have 2 children. Well, nine children later (both biological and adopted), we are homeschooling, farming and my value as a homemaker has really had an impression on me. Your channel is an ENCOURAGEMENT to young women! Many blessings!!!
Amen and Amen! God Bless you for speaking truth into this!!! I am 53 and have felt this way from my youth and everyone has always put me down and I heard the typical "well it takes two incomes now days". I came home a year and a half ago, and it has been THE GREATEST blessing. I praise God He answered my long heart desire to work unto Him in my home. Honoring Him and blessing my husband and my family. May other women hear this truth and start a revolution of coming back to the truth of God's word!
Oh, waaaw! I can so relate to your life story 😦
“What do you do all day long?” This is a question I get so often, and, as you said, some people could get bored or even mentally sick without a boss telling them what to do. For me, it started to be a delight and I can organise my time with plenty of things, especially to make our home and marriage enjoyable and beautiful, honouring God.
P. S. An older lady from across the sea suggested me to watch your videos. So I’ve started with this one, the first one right? 😅 And I’m thankful for being encouraged by your words🙌🏼
God be your refuge and strength in times to come!
I was a nurse for almost 20 years and finally my husband and I decided I should be at home. No one understands this decision. Everyone asks when I will go “back to work” and what ask what I do with my time. I have 6 children and 3 are now out of the house. I love being at home but I wish I wouldn’t get looked down by everyone especially
women in the church.
Thank you so much for sharing your testimony! Praise God, and isn't it wild how little value this is given. I definitely think times are turning, and seeing testimonies like yours will give people a vision and value for a wife and mother being home!
Experienced the same
Hi there! From a homemaker for almost 50 years I love hearing a young lady that will follow this path,
Mrs. Melody, I'm so glad you are here!! Your stories are my favorite 😊
Have always wanted this. But alas I am very single at almost 30. Praying that one day my future husband comes into my life. But until then I got to work to support myself. Teaching myself how to bake and cook so when, or if, that happens I'll be prepared. Hopefully I get called to marriage (but consecrated single is also a viable options just want what God desires.)
I recently resigned from my full time role and have found your videos so encouraging during this shift!
I'm so glad, and how exciting! God bless you and your family!
There’s always plenty to be done to run a clean and welcoming home, with or without young children. I have always loved homemaking. 🌸
Land is expensive in our area so my family keeps pressuring me to get another job when the reason I haven't gone back is 1- completely between me and my husband and 2- my health was so bad we were spending more money than we were saving. Since I haven't had " a job" I also haven't had to go to the doctor (going on year 4) and we've been saving money for a down payment. We're debt free and doing what we're supposed to be doing yet that's not enough for everyone else. Also Doug and Stacy are what got me started wanting to homestead years ago listening to them at work! ❤️
When my husband and I got married in 1989 we had made the decision for me to stay home and be a homemaker. It was 2 and a half years before we had our daughter, but my husband liked having me home when he came home from work and being able to spend our evenings together. I have loved being home with our daughter, with him, and taking care of our home. We have talked about it and decided we would do the same thing again.
This is so beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing your testimony with this. And to normalize a woman staying home, even before children! God bless you guys
I found your channel because I also want to someday be a homemaker without kids. I'm a stay-home mom now, but I have zero desire to go into the workforce. Also, my mom was also an American woman who married a South African guy. :)
Ah praise God! And how cool your parents were so similar to us! I'm curious how they met?!
@@homewithkelli My dad came to the States for college. Over Thanksgiving break 1970, he went with some friends to visit a little resort, I think it was on a lake. That resort was owned by my mom's aunt. He met my mom, they were engaged three months later, and married five months after that. They were married for 50 years before Dad passed.
This video made me cry because I am literally at work, in a box, HATING every second of being here hoping one day, after I'm pregnant, I can FINALLY be home and be a SAHW/M.
I would LOVE to start asap because I don't currently know how to cook, I barely have time/energy to clean the house, let alone organize it properly. Imagine trying to do that with kids? I'd be crazy overwhelmed.
Not sure how I could bring this up to my husband without it sounding like it's "sudden" after watching a random YT video, even though we are planning for me to go home after I'm pregnant because it's what I've always wanted...
Aw, I relate so much to what you shared. I still have dreams of being back at my office jobs and wake up in a panic. My encouragement would be to pray first and see how God directs you, even with bringing up the conversation with your husband, he may be totally open to the idea- it's just never crossed his mind because it's so uncommon. I pray that God gives you the desires of your heart❤️
you can always mention the idea and see how he reacts to it. i remember telling my husband how stressed & draining work made me feel. i brought up the idea & he was open to it. im still new to it but life feels so much more relieving, i’m taking cooking as a hobby now & our place is clean before he comes home. i would love for you to experience the same feeling, definitely bring it up and express how you feel about the idea!
What a blessing that I found you Kelli! I went through all the struggles as well. No children ( yet?) and a homemanager/husband supporter/joyful wife. ♡ We are planning our lifes but Gods leads it (and shapes our mind and character in the meanwhile.) Thank you Kelli for speaking up in this brainwashed world.
What a wonderful day that I found your channel!!!♡♡♡ Greetings from Belgium.
"...they need to go into work for someone else to tell them what to do because they don't have a vision for their life." - Love this!! Thank you for sharing your story. I can totally relate!
Kelli, I am SO excited for this channel! I’m a long time subscriber and you have transformed my views on homemaking, as well as my biblical job as a mother and wife! I can’t wait for more videos to come!
Thank you sooo much Kaleigh! And that you've been around here for a while, I am just so grateful you've been encouraged and your comment is such an encouragement to me! God bless you!!
Soooo excited for this channel 🔥💗 currently up at 5 AM pregnant getting ready for my job as a nanny… my last day is in a month! Love being a nanny but SO ready to be a full time homemaker. I felt so guilty to turn in my notice, these days most pregnant woman work up until giving birth
Also I wish more women felt the courage to stay home even before pregnancy. My great grandma, who I adore, told me she quit her job as soon as she got married in the 50s! I was like, oh grandma livin the dream haha
Ah yayyy!! So excited for you, praise God and well done to you guys for making this decision! And congrats on your pregnancy, and I pray that they rest of your pregnancy is smooth and full of joy. How special these moments you will have in preparing your home for you little one.
And what a cool testimony with your grandma! It really was a different time, we have so much we can learn from them! God bless you guys!
Thank you, Kelli!
Kelli, this morning you came to mind in prayer and I was reminded of the powerful women in the Bible who conceived after many, many, years of faithful patience, accepting and trusting in God's will for their lives. Sarah, Rachel, Elisabeth, Hannah, all birthed mighty men of God. Keep on shining. The best is yet to be. God bless you.
Thank you so very much, you have me in tears this morning. I am encouraged in the Lord and so appreciate your prayers and thoughtfulness to share
I'm praying and taking the steps to stay home. Just please pray that the Lord remove the fear from our hearts! Steeping in faith@
I'm a mom of 3 young kids and I'm just done with chasing the career life. I hate it. We are making moves to for to stay home and homeachool our kids.
Amen, and praise the Lord for you guys making these moves. I have full faith that God will help you and provide for you as you make this transition!
Happy to find you here, Kelli! Congratulations on your new channel. You are an encouragement to so many women.
Thank you so much Heather!! God bless you!
It's sad that this continues to occur even now. I quit my job in 1993, to become a stay at home wife when I got married. The things that people said to me are still being said today, and that's sad. I also got the what do you do all day question. My response was, let's see,I make sure our bill's are paid, the house is clean, and when he comes home he has a hot meal on the table, along with a whole lot of other things. This would mainly come from family. His friends would ask him if this was true, and he would say yes. Look at their wives, and say why is my supper not on the table when I get home, their response. I work a full time job. It's a wonderful blessing to this day to still be able to say I am a stay at home wife, when asked.
What a beautiful testimony! Thank you so much for your encouragement and for sharing this!
So excited for this channel! It's refreshing to hear from someone who views homemaking the same, I stay at home with my 2 yr old and twin 13 month olds and wouldn't have it any other way! You are right that is changes with children, lol. You are wise to steward your time as you are! I didn't get into cooking from scratch until I had my first and herbalism until my twins. I take advantage of nap time to learn! God bless you and your faithfulness!
Wow, you have a 2 year old and baby twins, that is so cool, I'm in awe!! Thank you so much for your encouragement! And I think it's encouraging all that you've learned while being busy with your babies!
You are an incredible inspiration! Oh how I wish I heard this message before I got married. Life would have been a lot easier. Thank you so much for sharing ❤ praying this message reaches many young ladies!
Hello from East Texas! What a beautiful Testimony of your life and Faith. I retired after being an RN for 38 years.
Chills as you mentioned Titus, and the very verses I was just dwelling on this week. Older women teaching the younger women.
I just found your page and appreciate what you have said, especially about being the CEO of my home! In all honesty, I do kind of have the opposite problem to what many comments below are saying; my husband wants me to be a stay at home wife. To give some context, I was a stay at home mom and home schooled my kids for many years, but with a terrible heart posture of doing the "right thing" and what I "ought to do", but now my kids are grown up and moved out. I became a business owner, but lost my business because of the pandemic and God's sovereignty, but I find myself at the beginning wondering why God has brought it around full circle.
I pray that my attitude changes as I am so used to being the "boss lady" outside the home and have felt the wind taken out of my sails, but your words today have shone some light on a bit of a new perspective and I thank you for sharing.
I have subscribed and will continue to be encouraged by your journey.
I'm so glad you're encouraged! And it sounds like you are really good at business, have a passion for it and have the skills of making things work- that is a HUGE skillset for building your home economy!
Hi Kelli,
I want to become a homemaker but my family doesn’t support it. I haven’t found any man who would want to provide for a stay-at-home wife either. My parents want me to work because they don't want to provide for me. They say I'm too weak. Every time I go to work, I could only work for around 3-6 months because I could not bear the migraine due to the stress.
Tomorrow is my first day at my new job. I don’t want to go. I don’t know what to do. Hope you could pray for me.
Hi, thank you for sharing. I will most definitely be praying for you. I understand the season that you are in, and how hard it is being single and needing to work. I will be praying that the Lord would bring you your husband.
What immediately came to mind when I read this, was that this is an opportunity to learn cheerfulness in adverse seasons. I know that may not be the most encouraging, but even after getting married and becoming a homemaker, challenges in life will come and learning cheerfulness despite circumstances will be a blessing for the rest of your life!
Also, I know you said you are starting your new job tomorrow, so I'm not sure how much of an option this is, but is there a job or work that you would find exciting or at least not dread? That's why I quit doing graphic design and got my job at Trader Joes because that was something that at least sounded fun to me at that time.
I hope this is helpful, God bless you sister.
@@homewithkelli thank you! I work the same job position just in a different company. I just want to work a part-time job to have enough money to pay for what I need. Sadly, my parents told me they sent me to university not to work a part-time job in a store.
I'll just work here for a few months then I'll quit so I can stay at home 😊 Hope I could get married before 30. I'm 26 now.
Have a nice day, Kelli!
It's wonderful listening to your testimony. I am amazed, listening to you, and realizing how much we restrict ourselves with what we can or cannot do. Most of the time these "rules for life" seem totally made up or based on what others might think of us. Keep sharing and inspiring others ❤
Thank you so much for your encouragement! God bless you!
Thanks ! You’re always such an inspiration and encouragement I wish you all the best!!!
Thank you so much Tonya!! That is so encouraging to me, God bless you!!
Congratulations Kelli. I saw you stopped posting on Instagram and glad I can still follow you here.
Susan! Yes, I've gotten away from instagram, so glad to hear from you! I hope you and your family are doing well!
I appreciate your videos! I am a new full time homemaker at age 49 so it’s been an adjustment! I agree it’s been such a blessing for me to be home cooking homemade meals and our savings is actually growing since I’ve been home. I have struggled with a sense of worth at home after 25 years in the workforce, however Gods way is the best way. Much more peace and joy now that I am home 🏡 God bless you! ❤
Thank you so much Cara! How cool that you made this move and I'm sure it is such a great testimony to those around you. God bless you and your family!
Oh, how I love your heart ♥️ Just recently my husband started following you and Scott on the other channel so I'm definitely gonna follow you on this channel! I wish every single woman could hear this because you said so many valuable things. I wished I would had learned all of this at your young age
Hi Pam! Thank you so much, you are so encouraging! God bless you and your family!
Love this video! You're right Kelli: there is so much value in being a good homemaker, and turning having a healthy home into an art :). God bless!
Yay Kelli, this is such a wonderful idea! Excited to see more from your lovely new channel ☺️
Kelli, I’m so excited for this new channel! I resonate with your story so much. Thank you for sharing your story!
Daisy, thank you so much for your encouragement and God bless you!
Love this!
I love your heart Kelli, just started watching your videos and what a treasure you are. I'm 62 and have always been home and have always loved being home. you are an encouragement to so many and have a gift of saying what many of us feel but find it hard to put in words.
It would be helpful to also get to know Scott's side of the story. Why did he see the worth in it, even before you quit your job? How does he profit personally from you staying at home?
Thank you Anil! On our Scott and Kelli channel, we have a couple videos called "Helping my husband is my career" where Scott gives his side. But I think it would be fun to do an updated thing with him for this channel on his side of things, great idea!
Loved this video! Excited for this channel!
Thank you so much Morgan! I am so grateful you are excited about it, I am too!!
Wonderful testimony and encouragement to other women, Kelli! Thank you!❤
Thank you so much Sally!
Yay! Girl space! I'm here for it. Thank you, Kelli.
Yes!! Exactly! I'm glad you're excited too 😃
Love the Scott and Kelli channel! Super excited for this one❤️
Thank you Clara!!
I’ve been following your other channel for a little while, but it was nice to get to know you even better through this video. I resonate with so much of your story and you’ve been a great encouragement to me. Blessings to you, Kelli. 🙏🏻❤️🤗
Ah I'm so glad, thank you so much for sharing this. God bless you!
Congratulations on the new channel! Look forward to the home making encouragement.. ❤
~ Jeannie
Thank you so much Jeannie!!
Kelli, I love your channel. I have been sending videos along to a younger friend at church who has just met a Godly man.
I wanted to share a blessing I treasure at this time in life. My husband and I have five boys, and we are extremely blessed to be apart of a food pick up day at a local church. We are given the chance to “shop” for all of the day old or expired veggies and products from Trader Joe’s nearby. My oldest sons help with the logistics of breaking down boxes and carrying my produce to our van. I cannot thank the Lord enough for how much the food blesses us and helps our boys to understand His goodness to us. All of our group members have become great friends and share in prayer. We often pray for the salvation of the TJ employees sorting this food out to give to the church each day. You made me think of how much I appreciate this good season however long.
Homemaking is no longer just a phase to pass through until I find something "better"; it's my passion! I find that I love God more for gifting me with a life I love, and my husband more for desiring this life for me. There is so much room for creativity here, and it really is an invaluable work. I wouldn't want to trade it for the best paying job in the world.
Amen!! Such a beautiful testimony, thank you for sharing this, Samantha!
Yay! I'm subscriber #15!
haha yayy! Thank you so very much and God bless you!!
Your positivity and joyful attitude about homemaking is so encouraging! I am so inspired by you. May God continue to bless your homemaking journey!
Well thank you so much, that is so encouraging! God bless you!
Beautiful video!
Thank you Wendy, God bless you!
The closer I get to God, the more I move into my role as a wife. We have a house with a backyard, a dog, and our only debt is the mortgage. I've been having baby fever like crazy and I've been wanting to be a stay at home wife/homemaker but I'm scared. We're well off now just because we're 2 income and childless. This society has me terrified that I'll starve to death and suffer just because I want to bring life into the world with my best friend 😢
I was in my prayer closet today and God led me to read 2 Corinthians 11. After praying I asked Him what He would have me to do. Expecting, vacuuming, dusting, etc. But instead he asked me to search for a video on TH-cam about Christian Homemaking. I am 50. “Are you sure God. Is it you speaking?”
So I obeyed. Your video was the first to pop up after my search. And lo and behold you brought up 2corinthians 11. Mic drop!!!! So, I payed very close attention to your thoughts. Almost everything you said was what my husband had been saying this last year. We are empty nesters recently. I couldn’t believe that he wanted me to take time to read a book or such either. I figured he was just being kind. This literally was God’s precious gift to me today.
Wow!! This is so amazing, I love when God works in such a clear way! Thank you so much for sharing this, it blessed me this morning.
You are wise beyond your years😊
Hi there - I ordered some of your lovely tea from your website, but haven't received an email confirming - so I wanted to make sure the order was received!
Hi Beverly! Thank you so much for your order! We've been out of town, so I just saw your order this morning! I will be getting it out to you this afternoon, thank you again!!
Okay - I was just worried. Thank you! I’m so excited to try it :).
@@homewithkelli Also I was wondering if you ever make journals with lined paper? Your journals are beautiful but I don't trust myself to write in a straight line on unlined paper, although I may try it if you don't make lined.
Yesss! Amen
I believe it says "keepers AT home", which confirms your argument even more.
I was ready to start a career in law enforcement. Just married, I started young and went to school. Started with probation in a juvenile hall. I worked there for 4 years and learned alot about family dynamics. My own childhood sure was an education and these kids, all they needed was a strong family. I quit after my 3rd, my kids needed a mom to be with them. My husband agreed and was a Godsend.🙏
What a wonderful testimony! Thank you so much for sharing this and your testimony with your husband also being on board with you coming home! God bless you guys!
@homewithkelli thank you, God Bless 🙌
If anyone feels led, please pray for my husband and I. I desire to be a full time homemaker. I’m currently working a 9-5 (which by the grace of God is fully remote) while also trying to keep up with the home making and child rearing as well as homeschooling. There are many days where I feel depressed or overwhelmed because it literally feels like the world is on my shoulders. My husband is having his own struggles in the sense that he is currently out of a job and hasn’t been able to get one due to the fact that we keep the Sabbath. He feels guilt because it’s a man’s innate feeling and desire to be the provider. So hopefully God blesses him with a job soon and can eventually soften my husband’s heart towards the idea of me being a full time homemaker. His fear is that with this economy, there’s just no way we could possibly be a 1 income household.
Thank you in advance.
Shalom
Praying right now for you, God bless you guys. Praying for wisdom and God's guidance in making a way for your focus to be full time at home.
@@homewithkelli thank you so much! God bless you ❤️
What is your other channel?
Hi, here it is: www.youtube.com/@ScottandKelli
Are you still living in South Africa?
❤❤
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Working with chikdren jyst isnt worth it.