Learned Helplessness: The Real Reason You're Stuck (and how to get unstuck)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ธ.ค. 2024
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Learned helplessness is when someone can't seem to find resolutions to difficult situations - even when a solution is possible. People that struggle with learned helplessness tend to complain a lot, feel overwhelmed and often believe they are incapable of making any positive difference in their circumstances or their lives. In this talk I outline what learned helplessness looks like in everyday life so you can see if this is something that is holding you back. Then I teach you the 3 P's of learned optimism so you can start to feel more hopeful and resourceful and able to work through your difficult circumstances.
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I got a call for a job interview three days ago, and I'm currently in my lowest emotional state ever... I was able to convince myself to go after not being able to even leave home for the longest time ever. I got the job.
That’s amazing, what an encouragement. Well done and keep going.
Congratulations
Thank you for sharing. It’s REALLY encouraging to be reminded how quickly things can turn around! And, that you didn’t have to magically make yourself feel good or “high vibration” to get the job - you just had to show up!! I hope you’re thriving now, even if you still have bad and stuck days (as do we all) 💖
Congratulations..I know it’s hard if you’re not in the mood mentally from experience alot emotionally
Congratulations. I also have my first job interview soon. I wake up feeling anxious, but I do some light exercise, stretching, and walking to feel better. Its hard but we can all get better one day and one step at a time.
I left my unsafe environment, went back to school full time, and got a full time job. After this semester, I will be graduating with a 4.0!!!
Wow. This is great. I'm back in school and really enjoying it. I think of great ideas
yeah you did! Great for you.
I've wrestled with this in most of what I've taken on in my life. My mother and maternal grandparents instilled this into me.
Wow! Congratulations!
CONGRATS good for u
I quit my 17 year drug addiction and became a peer support specialist who helps other addicts
If you haven't learned how to do something, you don't know how to do it. If you had dysfunctional rolemodels growing up, dysfunction is what you know. You don't learn to be helpless, you just never learned how to help yourself.
I like that way of looking at it. Thanks for sharing.
@@juliakristinamahyour welcome, Kid
Yea this is me
I agree…A child acts as/ says stuff that’s displayed to them, we weren’t automatically aware..If a lesson isn’t learned, one is incapable of knowing what to do with that specific situation…I think that is when we either try to educate ourselves if old enough or it’s overwhelming and then automatically were in flight mode or freeze mode unknowingly whether we older or younger…If the household is healthy as a child ages they’ll probably ask for assistance or feel capable and curious which could make one more likely to address a situation healthy…If the household is unhealthy, the child is conditioned to think that they’re incapable and act in that way…I was in dysfunctional as a child and can’t make decisions myself without wanting approval which assists me in believing I’m right…I was conditioned as a child to care for everybody else…I was overlooked and unheard, I feel for others more than myself since it seemed mine never mattered therefore I tend to trust my mom more than me…I seem strong minded in specific situations which I’m try to identify…But I believe in stressful situations indecision is understandable and for me it’s much more difficult deciding…Additionally, in a stressful situation my intuition is there the issue is not trusting myself especially since I struggle which articulating my feelings and that plays a part in deciding what to do…Im trying to articulate my feelings and trust myself as well as my intuition
Very well said. Thanks.
Signs of helplessness: Don't ask for help. Give up easily. Struggle with motivation, it's going to be too hard, then procrastination. Believe of it's no point, I m going to fail anyway, nothing will change. Leads to depression, low self-esteem, anxiety. Martin Seligman is the creator of positive psychology. Bound baby elephants never try to free themselves, they gave up trying, learned to be helpless, resignation, as adults they stop trying. Feeling trapped, hopeless. Home life: highly controlling parents, no opportunity to figure things out on their own, high criticism, punishment, manipulation, passive aggressivness, when experimenting and exploring, experimenting, having emotions, have a say. Instead, stay put, caged. 3 P to learn the solution, is learned optimism. External locus of control is helplessness, the outside controls us, they are passive bystanders, no mastery over their lives.
I’m stuck in Freeze. I’m afraid of everything-including (or maybe especially) things I used to enjoy like guitar and woodworking. It’s huge. It keeps me from doing virtually anything like work. I get so anxious my Neanderthal brain won’t (can’t) work. Judgment is the number one cause (though I know there are others). I suffer from the cumulative effects of CPTSD and treating individual symptoms seems like little more than a juggling act.
Similar situation. Everything I’ve experienced exposed itself as trauma to me that went to my childhood. I’ve always assumed I’m ok, knowing I’m not was hard and hurt since it seemingly took my identity. This whole time I though I’m ok I’ve basically been in survival mode struggling through that. I tend to respond in flight or freeze in either instance if overwhelmed I’m exhausted and escape from those feelings through one of those trauma responses. I think that it’s only obvious to me that I was stuck in survival mode and reacting through trauma responses because I broke down mentally. It’s hard, it’s heartaching. It makes you feel funny, it’s as if you’re the only one, you’re odd, there is an issue with you which is why you’re that way, and it seems so basic but you’re incapable of it. As soon as a situation is in front of me typically there is ‘this side and that side’ if a conclusion isn’t clear then my mind is overwhelmed so I shutdown.
Every time you avoid it, it’s re-enforced. You feel anxious and can’t get yourself to do either of those things, so you avoid them, and soothe yourself. That tricks your brain to think woodworking and playing guitar was indeed dangerous and that you successfully avoided that danger. So each time you do that, it re-enforces that. I believe you literally have to force yourself to pick up the guitar, and just feel it. Strum a bit. While doing that, play something soothing, breathe deeply. Tell yourself you are ok, and this is safe. You need to create positive feelings around those things again.
@@TMMT4I hear you
Coda..- Same. It's really messed up.
There are so many talented and skilled and wonderful people that are stuck in this zone. It's really a shame. Together, all these fearful helpless - feeling greatly talented individuals could actually build a TOWN or functioning community. All of us have skills and qualities that are valuable, and once upon a time we did somehow function, yet we have become dis- attached, then panicked then totally freaked out and shut down. I believe that there are ways " out" but we are hermits and hiding and won't " get out " easily.
I've planned to attend 100 concerts on my own. I've done 38 so far 🎵❤️
Love that for you, hopefully Taylor Swift is on the list. ❤
I am at the stage of my life where self-care and loving me is paramount.
Me too
I am also at this stage❤
Im proud of myself for hanging on no matter what
Im the same way, big ups. Stay resilient fellow phoenix
I have raised 3 amazingly talented and smart young men, whom I couldn't be any more proud of.
Wish I had a dad who tried to build me up instead of constantly tear me down
@@_Arugula_Salad_I hear you. Had similar ..
Learned optimism takes work but it’s worth it!
I’m feeling proud because I took my 3 month old son on a walk or a jog in the stroller each day before going to work. Nature is healing and I want to share that with him.
Thank you for your wonderful work. I love your videos!
Nature is healing, it really does lower stress levels and makes us feel better.
I built a career from scratch. It was hard. But I endured. Even though it was not my first selection of career path, I succeeded it. ❤
Back into my past. Home life was super controlling and then chaotic. It vacillated. Always the other shoe. I developed survival traits. Excellent topic. Thank you.
Really glad you found this helpful. I see you doing the healing work after all you went through.
@@juliakristinamah thank you. I am very grateful for the conversational , humanistic way you talk about these complex topics.
Still healing. Thinking of joining your Shift community ... but... financial abuse has happened. Have u (or can you,) do a video on that? ❤💚🧡
Something good. I created a yoga class for over 60s and brought a kind, like-minded community together and brought yoga to an age group that is often left out in the yoga world 🙏🏽 I rarely took any credit for this before
I think I have some learned helplessness that came from being coddled as a Child. Now I’m learning how to MAN-UP and take responsibility for myself and my life!
It seems like it develops from both extremes. Complete parental neglect, and extreme helicopter parenting.
This material is top notch! I’m a sales trainer to white collar business owners. Your content is the missing piece many professionals need to help them move forward to achieve success. My personal story involves being sidelined for five years due to a professional mistake. Learned Optimism (Personalization) helped me start another business to make it through the five year period. Now my life feels great because of growth. Thank you.
Yesterday, I was going through some difficult emotions. Love has hurt a lot in the past. I was contending with that reality, and while I was curled up in my bed (under my fluffy weighted blanket) I told myself “not here.” Love will never have to hurt right here. My heart opened up, and I allowed myself to feel joy just being with myself.
I’m really proud of how compassionately I’ve been speaking to myself. There used to be so much hatred towards myself, but now, it’s like there’s a mini-therapist in my head lol.
I’ve done a really good job supporting myself through some really difficult times (and boy, have they been freaking difficult).
I’m proud of who I am. I am in love with who I am becoming. I’ll never give up on myself.
Thanks for the vid☺️
In my case as a Filipino, the learned helplessness developed didn’t arise from my parents cruelty or whatnot. My parents were actually great parents, but my learned helplessness arose from my society, the Philippines. We have been taught that we can never be like the developed countries, because we’re Christian, because we’re Catholic, because our corrupt politicians can never be defeated. So on and so forth. So from the macro to the micro, we’ve just learned to stop trying to improve our society and our lives.
I’m a businessman. For 11 years now. I’m working on myself to heal the helplessness and shift to optimism. It will be a lifetime work, but I’m not giving up yet.
You're not giving up ever, James! You got this.
13:12 - 'This Too Shall Pass' these words are so powerful and can really help in difficult times! ❤️
Absolutely. Everything is impermanent.
i woke up today and won’t let setbacks keep me from being my best self 😊
I left home (the locus of toxicity), learned new skills and started a career in tech which I had always wanted, instead of medicine which my parents wanted. I am raising two happy children in a happy home, and nurturing a truly loving relationship with my husband. I am extremely proud of myself and I can and will definitely do much more!!!
Awesome testimony
Hi Julia! Senior Shifter Chris here! I have Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph. D’s book Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. However, I always found the book to be a little too wordy and not a clear way of applying the work. Thank you, Julia, for making a video with quick notes and references and making it easier to apply this work to our lives.
I know I have always struggled to be optimistic about my life, but I am noticing that I have made improvements and my mental health and that does give me some hope. I also acknowledge that I did that. I worked very hard to be a better mental place and I know I still have setbacks and failures and trying to see them as a learning, growing and healing experience.
Here are my notes:
* Helplessness was learned.
Signs of helplessness:
* You don't ask for help. (The way it is. Nothing can be done)
* You get frustrated and give up easily.
* Struggle with motivation. (It will be too hard. I won't be able to do it anyways) Procrastination.
* If you had controlling parents and criticized or punished and weren't able to go out and explore and experiment.
What do we do:
Learned optimism:
* People who live with an external locus of control tend to be those who experience learned helplessness. (Depressed, Anxiety, Low self-esteem)
* People with internal locus of control tend to be those who have learned optimism. (They believe they have say over their own lives, they can handle whatever life has for them.)
3 Ps:
1. Permanence:
* People with learned optimism believe in impermanence (Nothing is permanent. This too shall pass. This is only temporary) More good things are coming (and temporary). Hard things are temporary. Acceptance of ups and downs of life. 50% brutal and 50% Beautiful. Hope that there is more beautiful.
* People with learned helplessness tend to think bad things are permanent.
2. Pervasiveness:
* People with learned helplessness tend to think that one bad thing means everything is bad. An overgeneralization of one bad thing means everything is failure and doom.
People with learned optimism see that one bad or difficult thing can be seen in isolation. There can be one part of our life that is challenging and difficult but that doesn't mean our whole life is doomed. Some hard stuff. Some good stuff. Some struggles. Some successes. They also believe when something good happens, it can permeate throughout their lives.
3. Personalization:
* People with learned helplessness tend to take their failures personally, tend to take their shortcomings personally. They over personalize everything and anything negative or difficult in their lives.
What you can do to build that optimism in your life:
See that things that happen or failures that happen are not a mark on your value or worth or character. They are setbacks. They are failures. Failure doesn't mean "I am a failure" failure means, I have more to learn. Failure means I have to try something else and not making it personal. They don't take credit for their successes.
* People with learned optimism can use their failures to learn, reflect and grow and don't take it as a reflection of their person, and see how they played a part on their success. They can personalize what they did and contribute to their wonderful outcome.
Developing optimism requires that people see hard things as temporary and that good things can have a positive impact on their lives and they are playing a part and can create joy, success, growth and change in their own lives. They feel good about themselves. They feel comfortable being themselves. They live themselves because they recognize what they can create and how they can grow. What they can contribute and who they are. They like that person and proud of that person. They feel comfortable being that person.
Your notes are always so thorough and appreciated Chris. Thank you!
@@juliakristinamah You're welcome! My pleasure!
Thanks Julia! I’m happy to be constantly trying to learn new things. I’m happy to be back in school for my BSN. No longer experiencing learned helplessness. We go after what we want and no matter how difficult the task may be we’re determined to get it done!
Thank you for this doc!! I have a young man that I believe I can relay this message to.
Love that I now belive I can take specific steps to improve my time management at work (& home) and things are getting progressively better. It makes me feel so much more capable
Yesss! Celebrating you and the intentional work you're doing.
Summary: Learned hopefulness: internal locus of control, believe we have a say, jurisdiction,.1. Permanence: bad things stay forever. 2. Prevalence. Helpless: 1 bad thing means everything is bad, inaquecy. Or 1 bad thing can happen in isolation, life includes all, well rounded way of looking at life. Learned optimism is 1 good thing can permeate into everything, believe of life is good, I am a success. 3. Persoonalisation: take failures and shortcomings personal, I am worthless. See success as undeserving , no ownership and neg their success. Optimism: things that happen are not a mark on your value. Failure means I have more to learn. Recognise their success and their part in it to feel successful and personalise what they did for the great outcome.
Learned optimism: they like and be proud of being themselves. Be yourself without an apology. See the fruits of your labour. No more the tight down baby elephant.
Good explanations. This happened to me when I became a stay at home parent. My house got cluttered and out of control. It was very depressing to feel like I was stuck and couldn't make it better. I'm regaining control right now.
Well, this one applies. The childhood side of things, and then as an adult I had cyclothymia+, so I'd excel and then crash and burn every 4-5 years. Unreliable, mind heavily fragmented, and guilt, of course. Makes it impossible to believe in one's self. Got professional help finally, -- still working out the details. Still, I was like that a long time. It's difficult to change, and the feeling that it's all a bit late in the day to make amends is hard to shrug off. Went for a run yesterday. ;-)
Hi Julia, for a year now I’ve been working on myself, and now when I’m bothered by a person I look inward and ask myself why? They may crap ass but that doesn’t need to affect me past the superficial exposure. I used to harbor resentment but now I can let things go and retain my peace. You are awesome by the way! I’ve watched you for a couple of years and you’ve really helped me a lot❤️
That's it! That's the work working. We don't need to get caught up or thrown off by anyone else's chaos.
I don't feel helpless at all. But I do feel stuck. To me, those are very different things. My belief in myself is high. My confidence in my abilities is high. My attitude is cheerful and positive and optimistic. So my challenge is that despite feeling empowered (rather than helpless), I'm not advancing financially, I've hit a wall in that department. That's where the gap is for me.
Yes! There is a difference in all those things!
Currently I am the poor. I'm barely surviving. But I'll get out of it, in time. I would love to get to the point of being financially stable enough myself so that I can give to others in need. I will get there.@@heihgeaarl
Be very careful , I used to feel like you and now I full blown feel helpless - and my belief in myself has crumbled to what now feels like beyond repair. Im nothing like my former self. So dont let this overtake your life. Hope you find financial relief soon
Pay yourself first 10% of what ever money u make. Before any bills or anyone
There are four decisions i took after being encapsulated in a helpless cage because of criticism. Those decisions made me move forward to hope it took time. It has been a long journey. I am working on it every day to change from pesimism to optimism. Thank you for your amazing explanation.
Great video Julia! You are so awesome! I wish I had a coach like you when I was a young person. I have a bad case. Part of it was a catholic brainwashing and childhood neglect. Too old and sick and depressed and aimless to make significant improvement now, but your learned optimism approach is terrific.
Please know that it's never too late. That is just a thought - not a truth. I'm really glad you're here - and it shows me that you don't fully believe the thought that it's too late for you.
@@juliakristinamah Exactly!
Totally resonated with getting the List done :)
Such a good concept. The staked elephant analogy is brilliant. Plenty of people see the world that way. I know a few. Me , never.
“Bad luck favors the ill prepared “
One time I really wanted to see this high rise apartment and I was worried that they would just turn me down but, when I walked in with confidence and a friendly attitude they let me see it.
I realized the areas of my life that needed improvement and today I made an effort to find the resources that will help get me there 💗
Hey, KC, learning to set boundaries and now trying to be a net positive
First video
Great content. Keep doing more. I purchased your self love workbook. Great stuff
Marek-shifter. This sales lady said that "Im always very kind " and gave a me a free coffee. whats interesting is I wasnt trying to be kind- I was just being myself. I cant remember the last time someone gave me free coffee, maybe a friend of mine. even though Im not always kind , but it was nice to hear this feedback. some good things are happening in my life lately. Thanks Julia! great video
It's truly heart breaking the story of the elephant but what's make it even more that it's my life
Do you want it to be different?
@@juliakristinamah yes..and this is the reason why I follow you
Actually the baby elephants were chained around their leg so they could walk away. When they tried to pull away they couldn’t. When they were adults they were tied with a rope. The memory of the chain was ingrained in their minds, but it was just a rope. So sometimes we feel we are chained but it’s actually a rope they can easily be broken
This is very hard to overcome in Doctor-Patient setting. I have been labelled hypochondriac and so do not have an accees to health care anymore. My symptoms are dismissed continuosly. It does not make any difference how empowered I feel or not feel, no how assertive I am or what techiniques I use to try to be heard...it just gets worse. I feel very discouraged and hopeless at the moment.
I surely have much learned helplessness in me. But I have been learning ways to have an effect to my life and have been succeeding. I have very positive outlook in life normally, but *this* seems like battle which I can not win. It is not only me who has the same trouble. There is a real issue in medical field with this, but I just can not seem to find the right person who would help me get over this hitch.
Your video was AMAZING! Even just listening this helped me to lift higher in my mood and not see it all with doom and gloom! There still must be something that I can do!!!
2:00 in and already feel connected mindset-wise
Today I went to pick up a vehicle part I specialty ordered to an automotive shop. The cashier complimented my organization for having a list of helpful info (Item #, order #, year/model, sizes of parts, etc.) which hit me way harder than she probably realized because I’ve always been the scatterbrained hot mess that inspires many an eye roll. I spent a good part of an afternoon just ensuring I was ordering the correct part and organizing important info. Wow, thanks for reading!
I had some difficult conversations with friends who have crossed my boundaries. I spent some time to gather some tools and then after some procrastination, I chose to be brave and have tough conversations. It was difficult but very healing and I now have deeper connections with healthy boundaries 💚
Holy ( edit)! That's it! That is It! Thank you so Much! This is it, this is the missing link!? Whoa...
I needed this and have been waiting for this! I have been broken like this for more than 30 yrs!
Thank you, I am so glad I came across your content.
42, long story, locked into a hard-core Christian religion. How I see it: Basically had the only truth, God would provide and/if I stayed in certain boundaries and followed certain rules, high demand religion, hard-core. I wanted to be the hero of the stories. A philosopher/king/warrior/prophet - it really would be cool, but...
So, I limited my life and loves and adventures... sad. Stopped aiming and trying and just waited on God to show up with this wonderful chosen path, like the many prophetic happings in the past and all the modern miracles, healings, etc. I didn't grow... many sad stories later. Examined religion = false => the God I believed in, and the whole thing, was not what I thought. God wasn't coming/intervening or conducting my life... I have to build my life.
I've been gathering that slowly - a snails pace. But IT is Happening Now! Activating
So excited - what a breakthrough!
I hope We will talk one day so I can say thank you,.
I'll look into the community later!
Thanks again
This video felt like you reading my mind, I am so relieved I didn't even really know how to put it in words so I thought how could I even get help for it, this is that little nudge of help I needed 💕 thank you!
I started singing after years of no confidence which allowed me to take control of my own career and job choices without relying on anyone else
Oh crap that elephant story is so heartbreaking! And I've heard similar ones e.g. monkey experiments that extends this concept of the to OTHERS in the group, whereby they ALL end up apathetic - scary scary stuff.
Yesterday on my commute home I kept talking to myself and ended up with a deep-seated belief. That was if ever I decided to get rid of all the things that dont feel right, sell my house, move to a better neighborhood or city and get a better job - I would fail pretty quickly. "I can't work without a net" I am not resilient. I can't try new things without risking everything.
One of the reasons why I resent my siblings is because they have been so resilient. If they dont like something, they just throw it out and do something else. I do not feel like I am smart/talented enough to just go try something and see if it works out.
Another tour de force, presented the subject with such clarity and dynamism... And very prescient to a lot of folks including me.
So thanks!
For my positive thing, today I went for a walk at nearly dawn to acclimate to new shoes. Baby steps to build up to running at the weekend. No pain, so that was a win!
That's a win!
Thanks for watching.
I have been Helping my son through a Divorce, an before I w have blown up, causing more Issues. An was able to Have Self-discipline for The first time in my life. At 50🙌🦋
Thank you Julia, I'm now on a path for me and my three P's and confidence. x
This is a great subject 🙌🏼
Really glad it connected. Thanks for being here.
You are more powerful than you think you are 😊
Really needed this video . Tgank you.
You're so welcome Rebekah. I'm glad it connected.
I can't think of one thing about myself that I'm proud of.
you're watching this video!
You´re here with the rest of us, all together, making a move towards creating a better life for yourself. That´s something to be proud of.
I'm back at school for information technology. I am hoping this will be the key to my success.
Also pushed through and worked on my car from 9pm-2am even though I did not want to do it.
Left a toxic relationship with no regrets or guilt. Me first ❤
I became an award winning professional ballroom dancer and teacher despite having learned later as an adult and no dance background whatsoever. In the process I overcame my fear of public performance or at least am able to cope with it better.
Amen Sister, Lots has been Changed I’m seeing So Much🦋
Thankyou so much!
You're welcome. Thanks for watching!
@@juliakristinamah your videos seem to come up exactly when I need to hear the information and your positivity is contagious I find myself looking at these things as hurdles rather than immovable objects. Inspired ⭐
I'm choosing no contact with parents and leaving to live in a new city fresh start ❤🎉
I'm doing good in my chef internship and I'm learning things fast with no one help I feel I'm very smart ❤️
Hello and thank you for your amazing videos
Superb perspective thank you
you are an angel
I got out of the toxic narcissist house and got my MSW.
Wow! Good for you. This is wonderful.
Thank you so much for posting these videos. They are really helpful and insightful. I am so thankful to you .
Love how you applied a positive spin to the construction noises lol
Ambient noise, love that! 😊
Thank you for the video 🌄
You're welcome. I'm glad you're here.
😃I think I’ve generated some smiles this week, I hope I have. I’ll know more in a few years when I have a chance to pause and get a better long term time capture! Watched your video that’s good! Happy weekend everyone!
Thanks! Happy weekend to you too.
I recently discovered by a therepist that I have this problem - and I DEFITELY have this so bad. years and years of trying to do things and giving up. Procrastination is really bad right now - i get days that I just lie in my bed WANTING to badly do things - yet feeling like a deflated balloon not able to lift my arms. And its really such a frustrating feeling - im waiting for movitation always. and no 'just take action' doesnt work for me.
WORKING ON MY PAINTINGS THEY ARE LOOKING GOOD!
There are petitions and organizations you can participate, donate, and advocate for to end animal captivity. The story of the elephant is sad and hopeless but there are things we can do to help the animals. Other than that, I feel good about cultivating native plants naturally growing on my property. Once big enough, I took some down to a forested park to give them a new home. It's not something most people know about
I am standing up to a bully!!
Good for you: well done!!!
been stuck in a dead end job that has affected every aspect of my life (financial, mental health, time, career progression, relationships), I have been fighting tooth and nail to get a new job and I get inteviews and nothing comes of it, its getting to the point where I feel like I will end up dying in this job or I have to settle for a job that is menial to get out, or quit and end up homeless, I am starting to see no point in being alive, I pretty much sold my life for this job and everything they promised and now there is no way out, one day slips into the next and nothing happens, its so frustrating and depressing.
I never think anything is wrong with me despite so many failed relationships/friendships.
So sad about the poor elephants 😢❤
14:50
Overreacting
Learned optimism is retraining your brain’s algorithm to think differently
17:14
Learn not to take everything personal
Learned helplessness... my state of mind right now. : D
wow I really struggle with this! great video! Really working on believing life can get better! love this video, I am proud I started a podcast even though I am not earning money from it I do love it and it serves people!
I always wait for permeance to happen. Because nothing good is that effective always. And even if it happens it is short lived.
Good morning I'm interested in reading your book however I don't know how to pull it up to read it. Thank you for the words of encouragement.
Story of my life, with all things big and small.
The older I get the more I realize, the less I interact with my parents (& relatives). The more I blossom.
Personalisation: Things that happen are not a mark on your worth, your character or your value. They are setback and they show you that you need to grow in this area. It's an indicator of where the work is. Everyone has work. It's just life's feedback. Life's language is emotions and events. Learn to read them and you will succeed.
Thank you❤
You're so welcome. Glad you're here.
It is a horrible way to go through life.
What if you embraced your original internal locus of control and we're creating or in the process of making a great life and them fell off that wagon once in a while... And then made up for it and we're making a good life despite some ADHD that came out of that learning... And then had children.
Dho!
And 5 years after the youngest was born, realizing I let things go too much, maybe, maybe gave myself too much grace... Leaned too much on my husband... Didn't practice enough discipline... Didn't follow my instincts or garner the amount of support I really needed or squandered the time I did get resting...
I know I'm capable of success. I look forward to Tiny going to full time school this fall and to all the kids out of the house for the 1st time in 9 years. I see so much opportunity bit want to stay realistic. I've signed up for classes or online courses for updated skill training... To take during their part time summer camp time this year. I feel so thrilled to get to it... And nervous I won't be able to follow through. Because... Life... Always seems to... Throw me back somehow a day or 3 weeks (like somebody gets sick and everyone is home for 3 weeks). And I give up easy.
Have wondered if particularly negative people around me lately may be contributing by sharing their stress & anxiety or criticizing...
But don't want to blame them. Blame isn't a solution. How can I be proactive about potential sicknesses and needing to switch focus back to the kids constantly and still get work done toward my professional goals?
"If it's to be, it's up to me", as my mom says.
Thank you so much ❤
I used to be bad in my academics. But ive worked a little bit harder for physics and feel like im doing a bit better in that subject, and in HTML coding as well.
I cleared our state psc pre-stage. Will prepare for psc at national level
Tell you all something good? Last year I accomplished a life long dream of becoming an Ironman triathlete. It's been a life changing experience as I have shifted my mindset into that of a winner.
WOW!! That´s an incredible achievement that you can be very proud of. Good for you!
I have managed to lose 37 kilos and became super fit with six packs !
Thanks for reminding me that there must be some hope, or at least a will, given that I'm here. I'm going to go look at something I was procrastinating, don't take the information about people leaving as meaning your content is bad.
My time for running a mile my freshman year in high school was under 5 minutes 🎉
Personalization seems directly at odds with the idea that learned helplessness involves an external locus of control. If I'm blaming myself for my failures, am I not directly acknowledging my internal locus of control?
Hello actually I am seeing your self love videos
And i want to love myself more but one thing is stopping is me
Is when I talk to myself like somebody i love by taking my name like"hey harsh everything going to be or all right"
I don't understand i suddenly feel bloating in my stomach
I feel like kinda lost bcoz i feel idk what's going
And because of that bloating i can't continue to talk myself in that manner
The pain gets unbearable
So what should I do now
That's why I am so confused bcoz the symptoms i have i am not finding anywhere the solution of it
sounds like somatic work might be helpful for you!