A trail of broken relationships, nothing is their fault. They attach to money, good looks, really kind people, people that make they feel really special and as soon as the lie is seen it all comes crashing down.
For me, modern relationships seem like funnels laying on their side. Good, solid, genuine relationships start out at the small end of the funnel and move and proceed and progress to the larger end getting bigger and better as time clicks by. But bad narcissistic-based relationships start out at the big end of the funnel during the love-bombing phase continuing to move into the more restrictive more confining ever smaller end of addiction to trauma-bonded abuse and neglect...
Im free 5 weeks almost no contact. What I have learned since, is that the "new supply" was not only in place for sometime, but also fully aware of me. It was coordinated
You so right , they get bored , and after love Bombing and honey moon phase love and feelings is not consistent it's just replaced with arguments and emotions disturbances 👍🏻 truly right
Every bit of this was true for me. Even after being with him for 30 yrs I still had this vague feeling that I didn’t really know him. I gave him everything I had and after using me up, he just turned on me. Thank you for this Anoushka, your insights are always so helpful! 💕
Same here. 29 years together and was discarded for a co-worker. Had no idea what a narcissist was until now. It all makes sense. Wish I knew this much earlier.
Same here I left my wife of 23 years after another bad fight and days later she had a new man. She brought him home to my children. She was working on a smear campaign for probably 9 months about me to my children. She used our children as her flying monkeys against me. A month later she post him taking my family out for my daughter’s birthday. It’s pure evil. Less than a month later she’s love bombing him and posting about it. I always new she had some disorder but I never knew about NPD. She fits the exact pattern. Now I can see clearly. The pain and anger I feel is so overwhelming.
@@Richtaco it’s really awful to go through. I’ve been out of my relationship for 3 years now and I still have trouble at times. I was so traumatized. I am doing much better though and you’re in the right place here. Hang in there!
I think it's extremely common for them to downgrade. My narc ex gf has returned to her toxic fellow narc ex. He's low confidence and not very intelligent. Perfect for her to manipulate, control and feel superior to.
Right after the discard and my pain and struggle with the trauma bond and start of healing, I was so in pain and sad that I was so quickly replaced with the Grade B supply. But now, after over 3 months of NO CONTACT, I am nearly healed and indifferent and I am no longer bothered about anything. I have become totally indifferent to the narc and what he does in his dull life of cheating on his wife with other people.
Thank you for this… My soon to be ex wife is posting videos of her with her new supply, writing love songs and signing while he is in her videos. It broke my heart to see it.
Hang in there brother, my ex-wife did something similar. He's pretty much a low-life but as she stated it has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with manipulation and control. It hurts being discarded especially when you see the 'guy that replaced you is a loser'. Makes you wonder why you were trying so hard for all those years.
BLOCK her and go NO CONTACT. Don't look at her posts. Don't talk with her or see her either. If she's got something to say, let it go through the lawyers.
You have to remember that the narc experiences the lovebombing the same way you do, they also experience tramabond. Narcs can't be alone ever, they have a void,emptiness that needs someone to fill. Co- anything means more than one, the narc is codependent on you, you are their fuel source
They do not experience the trauma bond. They are not wired the way we are - they lack object constancy so they do not form attachments in the same way we do.
Let her stick to new supply. Good luck to her. I never said that, as I am happy for her. Thanks for the information. I am not bothered as long as she is happy.
How can you be happy for her. I wish my nex nothing except destruction. She wasted 3 years of my life, and it's been 6 months since NC. I am not fully over it. I wish she lives a miserable life or dies a very, very painful death
I promise...you are so on point with everything you say. Sometimes i think back at it the time i met him till i went NO CONTACT its all there. I don't blame myself i just really find it amazing how this disorder is and all they go thru. Im just glad i was the one that got away and didn't let him know anything about me and my life we live in different states and just to know all of this going i see how he treated other women around him that i knew he had sometype of contact with WOW i love your videos it helps me to keep continues on my education about these ppl im truly grateful that i didn't stay long but i stayed enough to know something wasn't right
You, alongside Jess Stanley, have helped me so much this last year. Thank you so much. I still have some way to go but I couldn’t have done it without your work.
Thank you for explaining that so clearly! There is no comparison. I knew this on a subconscious level but hearing it from you helped me understand even more. My ex narcissist chose to have a romantic/ sexual relationship with someone that I thought was my friend for over 1 year. She was married and I am not so I didn’t see it coming. I was truly blindsided. Although I didn’t hangout or communicate with this "friend” regularly I had no ill will towards her. He deceived her initially as well. However, when he told her that he was romantically involved with me (weaponized honesty aka manipulation tactic which he used frequently) she chose to continue the relationship and keep it secret from me. She saw me many times and she never said a word to me. I know now that they both did me a favor! I’m no contact with that monster and I’m not looking back! They belong together! 😂
What you have described in this video is so accurately describing the narc I had the misfortune to know: married for 28 years, cheating on the wife (his permanent supply) for at least 15 years or more and proudly told me he is entitled to cheat, and then he gets his secondary sources of supply for any woman who falls for his mask. So as you say in video, he lives an illusion and a fake drama of deceiving both sources of supply: wife at home and then the other women. He is so disconnected as all narcs.
Dear Anoushka, I saw that there was something very wrong in my relationship but I didn't understand what it was, that my ex was a narcisst, and you helped me to start healing process. Nobody else (his friends, family members) was't interested to help me, I thought that I was going crazy.
How does medication make it more manageable for the narcissist? I'm thinking it would help but not much with their anxiety and depression. Their behavior would remain the same.
You have no idea what pain I'm going thru. My ex narcissist is now with a female half his age. He's 51, I'm 49. She's 26. He made it out shes better than me and I was boring thats why he left me. Meanwhile my son tells me he constantly makes his new girlfriend cry. That is sad. He's already devaluing her after 1 yr. He will never get it how destructive he is to others. To me, to his son. To my ex I was a nerd, boring and never enough. I've been hurting a lot but keep repeating to myself. God will send me better. He was never on my level. No lie. When I went out on a date with this guy. I was like why is this guy so quiet. I kid you not. He was silent. Silent silent. But when it came to sex he was all over me. Before I even wanted to be intimate. It took me 12 years to unwind his thought process. You and no one else on utube did it. My ex was silent bc he knew he was gonna use me for my smarts, my college education cause he never bothered to work hard to get into college, and get as much as he could from me and then discard me. He cheated on me endlessly and used me intimately. There was no love there as he led me on. Guy is a psychopath. I have never been so hurt in my life. But I tell myself I will get thru this and a better man will find me. I will have to book a session with you one day. Your videos are helping me recover this 12 years of narcissistic mental and emotional abuse. We share a son so it still goes on within emails.
@Of the Refrain thank you for taking the time to share your story. It sounds very familiar. I want to let him go. But I have so much anger that he wasted my life from 36 to 44. It was pure lies. Thank God I found her channel here. Her videos helped me crack his secret behavior code. I never could understand what happened. The discard. The constant need for supply. He cannot survive without being around people to tell him he's OK. Meanwhile he knows he's done horrible things. You will see me more often. All I want is to move on one day to a beautiful healthy relationship with someone normal and healthy and who is not after using me. I'm a 49 single 👩 mom and just drained and exhausted. Career is going well. Moving up in workplace after 20 years of perfecting my craft. My clock is ticking. I'm a good woman who was conned. Hopefully God saw all the good I did for my ex and will send me someone who is loyal and caring and honest for my son and I. And if not I guess so be it. I do feel the best is yet to come and the worst us behind me. I will reach out to her. She is exactly what I need. Before I go to a local therapist I need to fully understanding what my ex did to me so I can finally release him forever. Thank you for words. A great help.
@@Star-dz3ei Please let go of the anger. And just be thankful he’s out of your life 👍and unfortunately there is someone else now having to deal with the trauma , betrayal and abuse....I was so angry back in January everything you have mentioned was done to me too but you’ve got to let the anger go and be thankful that you’re free of this creature 👏👏👏🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🤗🤗
@@Star-dz3ei Why stay angry??? We’ve only got one shot of life here on this earth , enjoy every moment of it with your darling child and do things that you enjoy “ think of you not the crazy Narc “ 👍
@Of the Refrain Thank you , yes a year comming up January 🙏🏻 never felt so well and contented in life since I left him 💯🤗 keep well and safe and enjoy every moment of life 💃🏻🕺
A necessary video. Best part, ''Whow Cares?!'' Thinking and Feeling About Anyone Bring Better Than You is, Simply Put in a Single Word, ''Insecure.''💥💯💥
am in terrible pain thinking of her with someone else, we spent year together and within weeks she was with someone else, however after showing me the new person , in a bizarre twist we got back together for a day, , but i ended it, i was nearly dead, so the new supply was already being devalued.
I was diagnosed with BPD.. I don’t have multiple partners / jump from person to person.. I don’t mind being alone.. I haven’t had many partners.. I look back and when I fall in love I put a partner on a pedestal which means im not as important to them.. I do work on co dependency and rejection wounds.. I think I definitely do think my last relationship felt like home due to feeling like he was a father figure.. but he lied, cheated, abused me in all ways, giving me PTSD.. I think I am stuck in a trauma bond or stuck in some sort of Limerance like thing😢 I definitely felt like everyone he’d leave me for was better than me coz he told me his need was attractiveness and I had let myself go.. I don’t understand how he could just sleep with others - it disgusts me 😢 Certainly after this relationship I no longer know who I am or who he was and I have multiple auto immune conditions now 😢 He told me he loved me 3 weeks after meeting me but he didn’t even know me 🤷🏽♀️
"Childhood trauma" is just another excuse for a narcissist to avoid accountability for their evil, vindictive behavior towards others. I don't buy into it. Plenty of people have suffered "Childhood trauma" and turn out to be loving, caring, wonderful people! Narcissist's are just purely evil by CHOICE! 😝😕
Unstable home due to parents being Unstable and toxic. Parents coming amd going. One parent abusing the other. So parents are never emotionally fully available bc they are too much in their own hurt. A parent leaving. They are never full present for their children like the average decent parents. The child could also be directly abused as well. There is also a lesser form of emotional too. And then there is the unique factors of the person vs their siblings. After what i know now about this factor personally dealing with someone with this type of history, I will not feel bad for keeping my distance for people with this history. I have had my own share an unperfect childhood but I would never done or said some of the things to another person that the NPD ex or BPD ex did to me.
Thanks for this educational message Can you please emphasize as to how a narcissist may manage his responsibility in work, more so if he is in the medical field dealing with patients. The relationship between a patient and doctor is transparent and I believe that is how it should be. How can someone know the difference from a healthy relationship in a medical perspective to a narcissistic approach . Do they reveal any signs or symptoms that can be detected during a consultation. I will be very grateful if there is an opportunity to find the truth in this situation. God bless❤
I am good enough, I always knew it. I went above and beyond for her and got dumped because of the new supply. I actually thought of warning the new supply of her but thought anything I say or do will fall into deaf ears at this point.....he will find it out on his own, when he becomes surplus to her needs. Time...!
Legitimate question. Can you be too happy or okay in yourself for the narcissist? Its almost as if he wants to hang out but he can't handle it. It's such an odd thing now I can see it from a different level, but I don't really understand it. It's like my happiness disgusts him
This question is so easy for me to answer through all of this research about narcissist over the last couple months after realizing that my twin flame is a narcissist I also realize that I'm an ego maniac.. so no I can honestly say I believe there's no way they are better........... And I believe the fact that I'm an egomaniac might make me a match for her as crazy as that sounds it's a very least it makes me a great Target and very well equipped to deal with the attacks meant to deflate my ego although she still does sometimes but not for long... ; ). I would so love to hear a video from you on this topic narcissist versus evil maniac many people think they're the same but there's definitely a difference. So I'm still trying to figure out if this makes me equally matched and possibly the perfect partner for a narcissist or does this mean we are destined to hate each other?
And to be fair even though I'm an egomaniac I've also learned that I'm probably also a super impact after experiencing my own supernova of sorts and I believe that she's a heyoka empath and possibly not even an actual narcissist but heyoka empath who experience their own supernova where they picked up narcissistic traits because she told me from day one that she was a heyoka not a heyoka empath just a heyoka.. and while she has many of the things associated with narcissist there are also quite a few things that she doesn't do that narcissists do. I've only been researching all of this for a couple months but when I take an interest in something I dive in deep
New supply better? Wrong question. For narc better supply the more victim he is and more of a people pleaser, doormat and simp. Is new supply better human than we are? This doesnt matter, new supply must recognize he is in a trap, manipulated as soon as possible and run out. The love bombing stage is not love its one of the worst of manipulation system humanity knows. It may be fun and pleasure but its like free first part of drugs from drugs dealer. Dont bite, dont bee stupid fish on hook later eaten.
That is so true I was so shocked when I met the new supply for the first time this guy lives with his mother he's 40 has a s*** job and is overweight and bald. I'm a principal. I make six figures six pack and have my own place. All of our friends and family are watching this unfold from the outside in and are just in shock like what is going on with this person. I understand now because the more of a poor desperate simp of a soul that you are the more they prey on you. you become an all you can eat buffet to these people. It's sad but true.
@@cyshehni its true. But deeper in that: when narc feel that present supply is too strong too good, they looking for weaker pearson. If they feel strong and that they are in control they will upgrade. In my example my covert narc ex was ib long relationship with pretty cool dude but she discard him for me beceause she wanted more. But after few month i realized im in a trap, and kicked her out of my life. I was too strong to control and manipulate, so she went for a simple guy that is easy to play and controll. They will be never satisfied but they always fall.
@@piorundip8705 that's pretty similar to my situation. I died of cardiac arrest 3 years ago. And when I came back to life I became a different person stronger more independent not relying on anyone. my ex-wife did not like the new me. She wasn't able to control me or manipulate me anymore and so she just discarded me like yesterday's trash. However I have been able to accomplish more in the last 2 years than I did in the entire 15 of being with her.
My friend who is narc once said "im gonna marry her, all i wanna do is work harder to make more money to marry her", meanwhile he just sat there, work regulary, goto online app weeb. Like, wtf bro..
This makes 100% sense! It was transient and he was my cult leader. His cult leader & many members are just supply but high valued supply & these cult members are like his cult parents. He always seemed so independent healthy and well adjusted but he is a narcissist psychopath. At one time, he looked at me and said I don't know what I'm doing. He had a mental break and this was during him getting exposed as a cult leader/member.
My narc x left me for a guy she works with in feb.. i didn c it coming and it completely broke me.. id just lost my dad 2 covid last October then mam died of a heart attack in January, then she left me in feb... i needed her more than ever, but in her words, 'i was there for the funerals, i cant b there for the next 5 years for you', the things she has said and done 2 me these last few months have been appuling,, an all her an him have done is rub my nose in it... shes enjoyed watching me suffer an got a kick out it... she done all uve said, told me she loved me an i was her soulmate an we had 2 boys together.. yet when she hooked up with her new supply, she threw me away like i was nothing.. she moved this guy in with her an mh kids an got engaged all within 4 months... she said she only wanted me fkr the babies she wanted, my son doesn't ask about me anymore, i mean nothing 2 her an she hoped i have a sad lonely life its all i deserve , her words... i never cheated or hurt her in anyway, so 2 c someone u once loved enjoy watching u lose it all destroyed me.. mentally an emotionally ive been broken an her entire family have turned there back on me.. i could say so much more.. but i doubt there b enough page... but shes ruined my life.. an its taken me a long time tk realise i really never did mean nothing to her... i was scammed basically.. an all she does now is lie lie lie... i will bever b able 2 bealive or trust her ever again.. she said her new supply is 100 times the man i am.. doesn't bother me that.. coz all hes done is trh an get a reaction out of me an laugh at me... so yeah, i know what type of person he is... it kills me that hes around my kids now more than me.. an i hardly c my kids.. which tears me apart.. but i try an c them as much as i can an ill always b there 4 them... but this whole experience has changed me... an i guess ill never fully heal.. but i love your vids an i appreciate your help an advice.... ✌️
Tony. I’ve just got out after 19yrs. What or who you fell in love withdoesn’t exist pal. Its an act. She isn’t what she portrayed. It’s hard to take. Mine She was unfaithful so many times. She just made me feel paranoid if I told I new what was going on. My gut feeling told me so many times. And as the end grew nearer she bad mouthed me to endless people. My world shrank to such a small place. I had done so much for her and her family dysfunctional bunch of dickheads. And they don’t speak now it’s all to hide the shitty life they lead. It’s hard to swallow and it’s hurts like f;;k. But. In time pal in time. You will feel better 👍✌️
Am very interested to know , do they do it consciously, I mean we know how evil they can be but I don't think they are conscious , as if the evil spirit controls them, people assume that they are smart but they are so dumb, they all are going to die àlone ...
Damn! I wish I had known how truly sick he was. I wish the very first time he showed me a red flag, that I didn’t make excuses for it, like I did my own mother. This has really hurt.
But is the narc is going to give ? Like feelings and love back ,, cause it's just will be relation after relation and so on ,,, is not settling ! Right ? So how they just living this life and for what Anushka ? Do they see themselves as mistaken for life values ?
Can someone help me. The worst happened. I cut a female friend off and she was so angry she went and added my ex on Facebook who abused me for 18 months. He's now ❤👍 on all her photos. I did deactivate my fb but used my friends phone yesterday to look and see if she's deleted him. But he's still liking her stuff. He's 49 and she's 33 like me. I told her everything because she ended up living very close to him. I didn't ask her to but she began taking pics of him and sending me them which upset me. It got back to him and he reported me to the police for me and her stalking him. I started pulling back as she was an acquaintance and I saw how she was treating her exes. She called my ex a druggy that was gawping into her home. She said he's a mess. He looks a mess. She even said he should go finish himself off because he's a waste of oxygen. Now she's sweetened him up and she's leading him on. He's also loving getting one over on me. I'm sick of it. I can see how wrong they both are but still feel I'm being further abused.
I'm going to disagree. The new supply is better than me. She is younger. She is fertile. I miscarried and went into early meno. He decided he wants a child. After 12 years of not caring.
I know it's hard, but... do you know you dodged a bullet? She is the unlucky one that got hit by that bullet. And the kids too. There is NOTHING worst than a narc parent, trust me. I had a NPD mom. The "new supply" is the new person who are going to suffer. Even more than you, if this is even possible. Take care of you.
I gave mine twins boys and bought us a nice house. STILL wasn’t enough. Nothing will be enough. Even what his new supply gives him will never be enough. Believe me on that
Who cares how the new supply is? Make sure and thank god you get a new partner who is better than the narc😊 And what follows is, the narco trying to look like your new partner🤭 How crazy they are?!!
This is true!!! My ex's ex wife had gotten with a guy who owns a gym and got big muscles. He was very lanky and went and started working out hard-core and juicing to get bigger muscles. He's huge now. I thought he was doing it for himself but after seeing her new husband,m and knowing he is a narc, it all made sense. He was copying and trying to one-up her. She moved on but he still trying to spite her, lol. Weirdos 🤨
He may be better looking. I don't know. I do know he doesn't love her and he's broke. She gave up unconditional love and a life of luxury in comparison. I pray for her now and hope she is safe. I forgive you.
Maybe your narc isn’t as bad as mine was but for myself I know if I continued contact with him I would only be hurting myself and feeding his ego. Nothing good could come out of it. Take care of and focus on yourself.
Why would you care about new supply. Be grateful you got rid of this evil
A trail of broken relationships, nothing is their fault. They attach to money, good looks, really kind people, people that make they feel really special and as soon as the lie is seen it all comes crashing down.
Mine dated trashy looking women. But he said, “drunk sluts are fun” …
For me, modern relationships seem like funnels laying on their side. Good, solid, genuine relationships start out at the small end of the funnel and move and proceed and progress to the larger end getting bigger and better as time clicks by. But bad narcissistic-based relationships start out at the big end of the funnel during the love-bombing phase continuing to move into the more restrictive more confining ever smaller end of addiction to trauma-bonded abuse and neglect...
Great analogy! 👏👏👏
Excellent description of a narcissistic relationship 👌
What an illustration 😮spot on!
Truth!!!!!!
Absolutely well said 👏
Im free 5 weeks almost no contact. What I have learned since, is that the "new supply" was not only in place for sometime, but also fully aware of me. It was coordinated
I honestly don’t care I could not give two shits less who they are with, I’m just so happy to be single and happy and spiritually free
Same
For sure! 🤗
Narcissistic humans🤮🤮🤮
It should be a criminal offence💯💯
Terrible terrible disorder 💯
Bless all empaths🙏🏻❤️❤️
You so right , they get bored , and after love Bombing and honey moon phase love and feelings is not consistent it's just replaced with arguments and emotions disturbances 👍🏻 truly right
👏👏👏👏💯💯💯💯 so true
Every bit of this was true for me. Even after being with him for 30 yrs I still had this vague feeling that I didn’t really know him. I gave him everything I had and after using me up, he just turned on me.
Thank you for this Anoushka, your insights are always so helpful! 💕
Same here, he said (after 30 yrs of marriage) "you are not inspiring me anymore." And left to be inspired by a 20 yrs his junior co-worker.
@@gretamuller9600 I say Goodbye and Good Riddence!
Same here. 29 years together and was discarded for a co-worker. Had no idea what a narcissist was until now. It all makes sense. Wish I knew this much earlier.
Same here I left my wife of 23 years after another bad fight and days later she had a new man. She brought him home to my children. She was working on a smear campaign for probably 9 months about me to my children. She used our children as her flying monkeys against me. A month later she post him taking my family out for my daughter’s birthday. It’s pure evil. Less than a month later she’s love bombing him and posting about it. I always new she had some disorder but I never knew about NPD. She fits the exact pattern. Now I can see clearly. The pain and anger I feel is so overwhelming.
@@Richtaco it’s really awful to go through. I’ve been out of my relationship for 3 years now and I still have trouble at times. I was so traumatized. I am doing much better though and you’re in the right place here. Hang in there!
now i understand , they need to make excuses, to put you down , so they can eventually find someone else, thats a revelation for me.
I think it's extremely common for them to downgrade. My narc ex gf has returned to her toxic fellow narc ex. He's low confidence and not very intelligent. Perfect for her to manipulate, control and feel superior to.
Right after the discard and my pain and struggle with the trauma bond and start of healing, I was so in pain and sad that I was so quickly replaced with the Grade B supply. But now, after over 3 months of NO CONTACT, I am nearly healed and indifferent and I am no longer bothered about anything. I have become totally indifferent to the narc and what he does in his dull life of cheating on his wife with other people.
Thank you for this… My soon to be ex wife is posting videos of her with her new supply, writing love songs and signing while he is in her videos. It broke my heart to see it.
She’s putting on a show knowing you will see it. It’s hard not to let it get to you but know this-it isn’t real. Be strong 💪
Hang in there brother, my ex-wife did something similar. He's pretty much a low-life but as she stated it has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with manipulation and control. It hurts being discarded especially when you see the 'guy that replaced you is a loser'. Makes you wonder why you were trying so hard for all those years.
BLOCK her and go NO CONTACT. Don't look at her posts. Don't talk with her or see her either. If she's got something to say, let it go through the lawyers.
@@usatodaywife she left me with our three children and I have to communicate about them and she wants me to sell up and give her half.
@@Seds245 While you have got Dependents (children under the age of 18 )you do not have to sell the house
I am not jealous. Congratulations to her.
Same here! He's her problem now! Enjoy your hellish life together! 🤣
You have to remember that the narc experiences the lovebombing the same way you do, they also experience tramabond. Narcs can't be alone ever, they have a void,emptiness that needs someone to fill. Co- anything means more than one, the narc is codependent on you, you are their fuel source
They do not experience the trauma bond. They are not wired the way we are - they lack object constancy so they do not form attachments in the same way we do.
Let her stick to new supply. Good luck to her. I never said that, as I am happy for her. Thanks for the information. I am not bothered as long as she is happy.
How can you be happy for her. I wish my nex nothing except destruction. She wasted 3 years of my life, and it's been 6 months since NC. I am not fully over it. I wish she lives a miserable life or dies a very, very painful death
I promise...you are so on point with everything you say. Sometimes i think back at it the time i met him till i went NO CONTACT its all there. I don't blame myself i just really find it amazing how this disorder is and all they go thru. Im just glad i was the one that got away and didn't let him know anything about me and my life we live in different states and just to know all of this going i see how he treated other women around him that i knew he had sometype of contact with WOW i love your videos it helps me to keep continues on my education about these ppl im truly grateful that i didn't stay long but i stayed enough to know something wasn't right
You, alongside Jess Stanley, have helped me so much this last year. Thank you so much. I still have some way to go but I couldn’t have done it without your work.
Thank you for explaining that so clearly! There is no comparison. I knew this on a subconscious level but hearing it from you helped me understand even more. My ex narcissist chose to have a romantic/ sexual relationship with someone that I thought was my friend for over 1 year. She was married and I am not so I didn’t see it coming. I was truly blindsided.
Although I didn’t hangout or communicate with this "friend” regularly I had no ill will towards her. He deceived her initially as well. However, when he told her that he was romantically involved with me (weaponized honesty aka manipulation tactic which he used frequently) she chose to continue the relationship and keep it secret from me. She saw me many times and she never said a word to me. I know now that they both did me a favor!
I’m no contact with that monster and I’m not looking back! They belong together! 😂
They seek validation all day long but will steadfastly withhold and weaponize it …. they are really sick puppies 🐶
So true..at the 10 min mark..woah..thanks for your knowledge and insight..the instability and impulsivity of their thought process. It's scary.
What you have described in this video is so accurately describing the narc I had the misfortune to know: married for 28 years, cheating on the wife (his permanent supply) for at least 15 years or more and proudly told me he is entitled to cheat, and then he gets his secondary sources of supply for any woman who falls for his mask. So as you say in video, he lives an illusion and a fake drama of deceiving both sources of supply: wife at home and then the other women. He is so disconnected as all narcs.
My goodness, everything you said is on point.
Never done competition on that
Just be happy to released and find a peaceful and happy new part. Feel sorry for the next person (victim)🙂
wow my ex use to say that to me all the time "We're soulmates" and always say you make me feel secured like my dad or you remind me of my dad
Thankyou. So helpful.
Dear Anoushka,
I saw that there was something very wrong in my relationship but I didn't understand what it was, that my ex was a narcisst, and you helped me to start healing process. Nobody else (his friends, family members) was't interested to help me, I thought that I was going crazy.
Don't overthink it
This means that this therapist is not a narcissistic person!,
MARRY ME! 💐
I hope I can find someone that’s not been abused as a child! 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Omg its so true thank you for explanation thats exactly what i was looking for xx
Most keep the new supply hidden..
How does medication make it more manageable for the narcissist? I'm thinking it would help but not much with their anxiety and depression. Their behavior would remain the same.
No one truly changes minds, god tho will always want
Thank you for this video 🙏🏾 the healing process is painful
You have no idea what pain I'm going thru. My ex narcissist is now with a female half his age. He's 51, I'm 49. She's 26. He made it out shes better than me and I was boring thats why he left me. Meanwhile my son tells me he constantly makes his new girlfriend cry. That is sad. He's already devaluing her after 1 yr. He will never get it how destructive he is to others. To me, to his son. To my ex I was a nerd, boring and never enough. I've been hurting a lot but keep repeating to myself. God will send me better. He was never on my level. No lie. When I went out on a date with this guy. I was like why is this guy so quiet. I kid you not. He was silent. Silent silent. But when it came to sex he was all over me. Before I even wanted to be intimate. It took me 12 years to unwind his thought process. You and no one else on utube did it. My ex was silent bc he knew he was gonna use me for my smarts, my college education cause he never bothered to work hard to get into college, and get as much as he could from me and then discard me. He cheated on me endlessly and used me intimately. There was no love there as he led me on. Guy is a psychopath. I have never been so hurt in my life. But I tell myself I will get thru this and a better man will find me. I will have to book a session with you one day. Your videos are helping me recover this 12 years of narcissistic mental and emotional abuse. We share a son so it still goes on within emails.
@Of the Refrain thank you for taking the time to share your story. It sounds very familiar. I want to let him go. But I have so much anger that he wasted my life from 36 to 44. It was pure lies. Thank God I found her channel here. Her videos helped me crack his secret behavior code. I never could understand what happened. The discard. The constant need for supply. He cannot survive without being around people to tell him he's OK. Meanwhile he knows he's done horrible things. You will see me more often. All I want is to move on one day to a beautiful healthy relationship with someone normal and healthy and who is not after using me. I'm a 49 single 👩 mom and just drained and exhausted. Career is going well. Moving up in workplace after 20 years of perfecting my craft. My clock is ticking. I'm a good woman who was conned. Hopefully God saw all the good I did for my ex and will send me someone who is loyal and caring and honest for my son and I. And if not I guess so be it. I do feel the best is yet to come and the worst us behind me. I will reach out to her. She is exactly what I need. Before I go to a local therapist I need to fully understanding what my ex did to me so I can finally release him forever. Thank you for words. A great help.
@@Star-dz3ei Please let go of the anger. And just be thankful he’s out of your life 👍and unfortunately there is someone else now having to deal with the trauma , betrayal and abuse....I was so angry back in January everything you have mentioned was done to me too but you’ve got to let the anger go and be thankful that you’re free of this creature 👏👏👏🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🤗🤗
@@Star-dz3ei Why stay angry??? We’ve only got one shot
of life here on this earth , enjoy every moment of it with your darling child and do things that you enjoy “ think of you not the crazy Narc “ 👍
@Of the Refrain Hi, hope you are well 🤗
@Of the Refrain Thank you , yes a year comming up January 🙏🏻 never felt so well and contented in life since I left him 💯🤗 keep well and safe and enjoy every moment of life 💃🏻🕺
Universally sound
Awesome video and insights, thank you
Can u plz make a video about is narcissist has a plan for they life and they future??
..That might be quite a short video . A plan you say?..Ha ha ha...in their dreams! ('Fantasia' is still out there on DVD..that's a good watch!)
It's actually quite weird because the new supply my ex narc replaced me with is actually a psychologist...
..So your ex.narc is now a lab specimen ! Which is what mine turned into....great for research!
Narcissism can be managed with medication? What medication? Thorazine?
A necessary video. Best part, ''Whow Cares?!'' Thinking and Feeling About Anyone Bring Better Than You is, Simply Put in a Single Word, ''Insecure.''💥💯💥
am in terrible pain thinking of her with someone else, we spent year together and within weeks she was with someone else, however after showing me the new person , in a bizarre twist we got back together for a day, , but i ended it, i was nearly dead, so the new supply was already being devalued.
Thank you for the video
So blue
I was diagnosed with BPD.. I don’t have multiple partners / jump from person to person.. I don’t mind being alone.. I haven’t had many partners.. I look back and when I fall in love I put a partner on a pedestal which means im not as important to them.. I do work on co dependency and rejection wounds.. I think I definitely do think my last relationship felt like home due to feeling like he was a father figure.. but he lied, cheated, abused me in all ways, giving me PTSD.. I think I am stuck in a trauma bond or stuck in some sort of Limerance like thing😢 I definitely felt like everyone he’d leave me for was better than me coz he told me his need was attractiveness and I had let myself go.. I don’t understand how he could just sleep with others - it disgusts me 😢 Certainly after this relationship I no longer know who I am or who he was and I have multiple auto immune conditions now 😢 He told me he loved me 3 weeks after meeting me but he didn’t even know me 🤷🏽♀️
Yes. Karma will get him. Don't worry. You go & find the true love you deserve. It won't come fast or easy. But it will last.
What kind of childhood trauma would cause this sort of behavior???? I'm so curious! Getting out of a narcissistic marriage now.
"Childhood trauma" is just another excuse for a narcissist to avoid accountability for their evil, vindictive behavior towards others. I don't buy into it. Plenty of people have suffered "Childhood trauma" and turn out to be loving, caring, wonderful people! Narcissist's are just purely evil by CHOICE! 😝😕
Unstable home due to parents being Unstable and toxic. Parents coming amd going. One parent abusing the other. So parents are never emotionally fully available bc they are too much in their own hurt. A parent leaving. They are never full present for their children like the average decent parents. The child could also be directly abused as well. There is also a lesser form of emotional too. And then there is the unique factors of the person vs their siblings.
After what i know now about this factor personally dealing with someone with this type of history, I will not feel bad for keeping my distance for people with this history.
I have had my own share an unperfect childhood but I would never done or said some of the things to another person that the NPD ex or BPD ex did to me.
Thank you 🙏. A bad life is a bad cycle.
My ex covert narc husband told me she was better than me. 😪Thank you for your insight. This helps me work through this pain.
Thanks for this educational message Can you please emphasize as to how a narcissist may manage his responsibility in work, more so if he is in the medical field dealing with patients. The relationship between a patient and doctor is transparent and I believe that is how it should be. How can someone know the difference from a healthy relationship in a medical perspective to a narcissistic approach . Do they reveal any signs or symptoms that can be detected during a consultation. I will be very grateful if there is an opportunity to find the truth in this situation. God bless❤
What's the point, u win everytime
Where could you get better reassurance?
Thank you 🙏
So painful. Thank you. 🥺💔
I am good enough, I always knew it. I went above and beyond for her and got dumped because of the new supply. I actually thought of warning the new supply of her but thought anything I say or do will fall into deaf ears at this point.....he will find it out on his own, when he becomes surplus to her needs. Time...!
@@universeelwezen6685 yeah man, family, friends, my dogs, gym and martial arts keeping me on track. So far so good. Slow grind !
Legitimate question. Can you be too happy or okay in yourself for the narcissist? Its almost as if he wants to hang out but he can't handle it. It's such an odd thing now I can see it from a different level, but I don't really understand it. It's like my happiness disgusts him
they're selfish and want everything and everyone from others and doesn't want to do good to none.
Did you get A's in English and Drama?
This question is so easy for me to answer through all of this research about narcissist over the last couple months after realizing that my twin flame is a narcissist I also realize that I'm an ego maniac.. so no I can honestly say I believe there's no way they are better........... And I believe the fact that I'm an egomaniac might make me a match for her as crazy as that sounds it's a very least it makes me a great Target and very well equipped to deal with the attacks meant to deflate my ego although she still does sometimes but not for long... ; ).
I would so love to hear a video from you on this topic narcissist versus evil maniac many people think they're the same but there's definitely a difference. So I'm still trying to figure out if this makes me equally matched and possibly the perfect partner for a narcissist or does this mean we are destined to hate each other?
And to be fair even though I'm an egomaniac I've also learned that I'm probably also a super impact after experiencing my own supernova of sorts and I believe that she's a heyoka empath and possibly not even an actual narcissist but heyoka empath who experience their own supernova where they picked up narcissistic traits because she told me from day one that she was a heyoka not a heyoka empath just a heyoka.. and while she has many of the things associated with narcissist there are also quite a few things that she doesn't do that narcissists do.
I've only been researching all of this for a couple months but when I take an interest in something I dive in deep
New supply better? Wrong question. For narc better supply the more victim he is and more of a people pleaser, doormat and simp.
Is new supply better human than we are? This doesnt matter, new supply must recognize he is in a trap, manipulated as soon as possible and run out.
The love bombing stage is not love its one of the worst of manipulation system humanity knows. It may be fun and pleasure but its like free first part of drugs from drugs dealer. Dont bite, dont bee stupid fish on hook later eaten.
That is so true I was so shocked when I met the new supply for the first time this guy lives with his mother he's 40 has a s*** job and is overweight and bald. I'm a principal. I make six figures six pack and have my own place. All of our friends and family are watching this unfold from the outside in and are just in shock like what is going on with this person. I understand now because the more of a poor desperate simp of a soul that you are the more they prey on you. you become an all you can eat buffet to these people. It's sad but true.
@@cyshehni its true. But deeper in that: when narc feel that present supply is too strong too good, they looking for weaker pearson. If they feel strong and that they are in control they will upgrade.
In my example my covert narc ex was ib long relationship with pretty cool dude but she discard him for me beceause she wanted more. But after few month i realized im in a trap, and kicked her out of my life. I was too strong to control and manipulate, so she went for a simple guy that is easy to play and controll.
They will be never satisfied but they always fall.
@@piorundip8705 that's pretty similar to my situation. I died of cardiac arrest 3 years ago. And when I came back to life I became a different person stronger more independent not relying on anyone. my ex-wife did not like the new me. She wasn't able to control me or manipulate me anymore and so she just discarded me like yesterday's trash. However I have been able to accomplish more in the last 2 years than I did in the entire 15 of being with her.
Such a good way to put it
😭😭😭😭so so true
it doesn't matter if the new supply is better than you or not, the important part is that the narcissist is out of your life
...which automatically elevates you back to your rightful best! Who needs a parasitic millstone around their neck?
The new supply is more gullible!
My question is if the old supply is better than me
...nooo... probably in rehab!
You could handle slight obsession
My friend who is narc once said "im gonna marry her, all i wanna do is work harder to make more money to marry her", meanwhile he just sat there, work regulary, goto online app weeb. Like, wtf bro..
This makes 100% sense! It was transient and he was my cult leader. His cult leader & many members are just supply but high valued supply & these cult members are like his cult parents. He always seemed so independent healthy and well adjusted but he is a narcissist psychopath. At one time, he looked at me and said I don't know what I'm doing. He had a mental break and this was during him getting exposed as a cult leader/member.
I fine out early
Can a narcissistist cure another narcissistist?
My narc x left me for a guy she works with in feb.. i didn c it coming and it completely broke me.. id just lost my dad 2 covid last October then mam died of a heart attack in January, then she left me in feb... i needed her more than ever, but in her words, 'i was there for the funerals, i cant b there for the next 5 years for you', the things she has said and done 2 me these last few months have been appuling,, an all her an him have done is rub my nose in it... shes enjoyed watching me suffer an got a kick out it... she done all uve said, told me she loved me an i was her soulmate an we had 2 boys together.. yet when she hooked up with her new supply, she threw me away like i was nothing.. she moved this guy in with her an mh kids an got engaged all within 4 months... she said she only wanted me fkr the babies she wanted, my son doesn't ask about me anymore, i mean nothing 2 her an she hoped i have a sad lonely life its all i deserve , her words... i never cheated or hurt her in anyway, so 2 c someone u once loved enjoy watching u lose it all destroyed me.. mentally an emotionally ive been broken an her entire family have turned there back on me.. i could say so much more.. but i doubt there b enough page... but shes ruined my life.. an its taken me a long time tk realise i really never did mean nothing to her... i was scammed basically.. an all she does now is lie lie lie... i will bever b able 2 bealive or trust her ever again.. she said her new supply is 100 times the man i am.. doesn't bother me that.. coz all hes done is trh an get a reaction out of me an laugh at me... so yeah, i know what type of person he is... it kills me that hes around my kids now more than me.. an i hardly c my kids.. which tears me apart.. but i try an c them as much as i can an ill always b there 4 them... but this whole experience has changed me... an i guess ill never fully heal.. but i love your vids an i appreciate your help an advice.... ✌️
Tony. I’ve just got out after 19yrs. What or who you fell in love withdoesn’t exist pal. Its an act. She isn’t what she portrayed. It’s hard to take. Mine She was unfaithful so many times. She just made me feel paranoid if I told I new what was going on. My gut feeling told me so many times. And as the end grew nearer she bad mouthed me to endless people. My world shrank to such a small place. I had done so much for her and her family dysfunctional bunch of dickheads. And they don’t speak now it’s all to hide the shitty life they lead. It’s hard to swallow and it’s hurts like f;;k. But. In time pal in time. You will feel better 👍✌️
Am very interested to know , do they do it consciously, I mean we know how evil they can be but I don't think they are conscious , as if the evil spirit controls them, people assume that they are smart but they are so dumb, they all are going to die àlone ...
How are your eyes so big n bright with the blonde hair
Sounds like borderline too ?
Yes if he wants a supply of drugs and drama. 👋🏼
Damn! I wish I had known how truly sick he was.
I wish the very first time he showed me a red flag, that I didn’t make excuses for it, like I did my own mother.
This has really hurt.
Nothing else ever
But is the narc is going to give ? Like feelings and love back ,, cause it's just will be relation after relation and so on ,,, is not settling ! Right ? So how they just living this life and for what Anushka ? Do they see themselves as mistaken for life values ?
Whish I could
Not always is there complete lies
He does know who tho, like you
Can someone help me. The worst happened. I cut a female friend off and she was so angry she went and added my ex on Facebook who abused me for 18 months. He's now ❤👍 on all her photos. I did deactivate my fb but used my friends phone yesterday to look and see if she's deleted him. But he's still liking her stuff. He's 49 and she's 33 like me. I told her everything because she ended up living very close to him. I didn't ask her to but she began taking pics of him and sending me them which upset me. It got back to him and he reported me to the police for me and her stalking him. I started pulling back as she was an acquaintance and I saw how she was treating her exes. She called my ex a druggy that was gawping into her home. She said he's a mess. He looks a mess. She even said he should go finish himself off because he's a waste of oxygen.
Now she's sweetened him up and she's leading him on. He's also loving getting one over on me.
I'm sick of it. I can see how wrong they both are but still feel I'm being further abused.
Pretty
I'm going to disagree. The new supply is better than me. She is younger. She is fertile. I miscarried and went into early meno. He decided he wants a child. After 12 years of not caring.
There is no better or worse for them. It is whatever suits them in the moment.
I know it's hard, but... do you know you dodged a bullet? She is the unlucky one that got hit by that bullet. And the kids too.
There is NOTHING worst than a narc parent, trust me. I had a NPD mom.
The "new supply" is the new person who are going to suffer. Even more than you, if this is even possible. Take care of you.
I gave mine twins boys and bought us a nice house. STILL wasn’t enough. Nothing will be enough. Even what his new supply gives him will never be enough. Believe me on that
I wish I done less ket and met you
Sweet girl, I hate hearing no from it tho. Just sometimes kl
The real fittest
Sad!
Who cares how the new supply is? Make sure and thank god you get a new partner who is better than the narc😊 And what follows is, the narco trying to look like your new partner🤭 How crazy they are?!!
This is true!!! My ex's ex wife had gotten with a guy who owns a gym and got big muscles. He was very lanky and went and started working out hard-core and juicing to get bigger muscles. He's huge now. I thought he was doing it for himself but after seeing her new husband,m and knowing he is a narc, it all made sense. He was copying and trying to one-up her. She moved on but he still trying to spite her, lol. Weirdos 🤨
@@timawima Yesss😆 omg it's hilarious. Even copying how the new partner dresses etc...freaky!
Maybe 🤔, but who cares they will be used and discarded anyways so who cares. Nothing will change, I changed and left.
He may be better looking. I don't know. I do know he doesn't love her and he's broke. She gave up unconditional love and a life of luxury in comparison. I pray for her now and hope she is safe. I forgive you.
NO
It's ok ill just play fortnite or something
Good riddance I'm on my way forward
What if I never plan to cut him(the narc)out of my life?
I plan to Text him on Thanksgiving,his birthday Dec.1st and for Christmas
Maybe your narc isn’t as bad as mine was but for myself I know if I continued contact with him I would only be hurting myself and feeding his ego. Nothing good could come out of it. Take care of and focus on yourself.
@Of the Refrain thank you for sharing...Glad You didn't jump🙏🏾🛐
@@loriderewitz7213 you're 👍🏾 right!
Thank You 💗
It's hard to let go,since I still love him and he's Soo damn gorgeous 😔
@@anjailbee ....Raccoons are gorgeous too..less trouble!