Linda Bell this was the comment I was looking for ! Nothing is more true, they come back acting like they want to better themselves. They start off good, and then suddenly the punishment comes up because you disgarded them before. And they do their best to mentally break you down and hurt you emotionally in order to get even at you. Only everytime they get better in their punishment because they now know what really hurts you. And they will use it on you !
Indeed, second time lasted 3 months with me. She quickly became distant and most likely cheating. I questioned the behaviour and the name calling, threats, and devaluing really started. I got out but ended up abandoning some of my property in the process. They want you to go but stay also. Very bizarre. When you leave they will begin the threats and fear tactics. RUN.
KEEP THE DOOR COMPLETELY SHUT. I made the mistake of going back. I knew there was something wrong with my ex the first time. After leaving the second time it all became clear. IT IS WORTH IT IF I CAN SAVE SOMEONE ELSE GOING BACK TO A NARCISSIST. DON'T LISTEN TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING, IT'S A LIE. SHUT THE DOOR AND RUN.
My malignant covert narcissist family member has been hoovering on and off for months despite no contact from me. Trying to seem legit. These people are truly evil. They think you are their property. They are so crazy !
Yeah I could also see that something was seriously off with my ex narcissist. Even on our good days there were so much off , and I couldn’t just put my finger on one thing. There was so much going on that I became depressed and angry. I found myself wondering if there was something wrong with me or the way I looked , and needless to say that I even ended up becoming a detective because I knew she was sneaking around and doing things behind my back. I found out I was exactly right , but even at that I was the bad guy.
I made the same mistake and the soul was dark and emptier than before, like I’m just another notch in the bedpost, cheated on the whole time I found out.
Right. I hear and just see my relationship being told to me step by step in everything I look up , or video I watch , and even through other peoples stories. It’s been very helpful , but very strange
If they contact you after no-contact. You didn't do it properly. You gotta go total blackout. You gotta be unapproachable, so that they don't even know how to approach you again.
@@annacarter4879 they never showed up in person, I receive wildly inappropriate and threatening messages. And I’m thankful everyday I didn’t have a child with him. Nothing to link me to him forever. I can be totally free, or almost I suppose
It will only end up with the same kind of relationship that you had when you got away from this toxic person. If they get you back there can be no happy ending! Thank you for reminding us of this Anoushka!
I was 100 steps in front of them from the beginning. My only mistake was believing in them instead of believing in god. I tried my best, now god's gonna take over from here on. Total Blackout. Forever. If they contact me/ stalk me... etc. I will file a restraining-order immediately.
I always believe in what he always said but more than that I believe in GOD... he always use God to get me always... and God knows everything and his plan is the best plan always...
It will get worse every time you take them back, they want to do more damage for you being weak enough to let them back. They will respect every bit of you if you walk away from them with your head held high, you will be placed on a pedestal as the one that left! Please do not go back, it is not real, none of it, it is all an illusion and they are not well. Keep moving on in your life and know who you are and what you deserve. ❤
5 months since he dumped me. saw him posted on socials with his new supply earlier this month in his home country, she’s 20 with a 4 year old son. he removed his tag from the picture. he texted me today "Hey, how are you? I left my ray bans at your house, right?" must be back home now and bored? This is so upsetting he thinks this is ok. the last time we messaged a few months ago he was so cold, callous and cruel. Why would he want them now? I don’t have them. Why would he want them after he came back from his trip in south america, not before? it’s like every few months reaches out to me
You are right. If the person valued you enough to go to extreme lengths to get you back after you go no contact, they would have put in those same consistent efforts into treating you well before. They would have treated you better, with more respect, showing you how valuable you really are to them. It should not take someone leaving for you to suddenly realize that they deserve to be treated well and with respect.
When you go back to the narc remember the problems y'all had have not been solved and discussed so you get the same probls back when you go back with the same outcome and as long as you allow them to come back this will happen over and over again.
Oh yes, I had ALL these scenarios happen to me. The flip-flopping was crazy making. Leaving me, then hoovering, the begging, then gaslighting, then leaving me, then hoovering, then breaking in my house, then literally slapping me, then leaving me, then coming back, love bombimg again, then triangulation! For 5 years I thought I was going crazy and was so lost. Once you identify they have NPD, get the knowledge, listen to as many videos and read as many books as you can, ACCEPT what you are hearing and learning, guard your heart and GET AWAY!! They dont love the way you do and especially under the domain of a covert, you may die of heartbreak and illness before THEY let YOU go, for real. This video is spot on! Listen, learn and move on to love another day!
Cause they want You to be co-dependent of them and work hard to built up the bounds to them with "hot and cold"behavior. They will try at first with hot behavior and love-bombing You and then let it go to "hot and cold" again and on and on - until You are addict of them and co-dependent too them. It is simple but very strong bounds that they do to You to get stock in a toxic relationship.
I truly believe that I am one myself or at least I have similarlies of of one but I simply stay in my garage day and night but yet it's still always my fault of everything. Although for months I have been trying her the couple of things that could have put me back in her arms and she wouldn't ever agnolage what I said, Simply telling me it was my fault. She never changed so I just stayed in my garage longer and longer gitn drunker and drunker
although i've already figured it out, your videos like this reminds me/us to never go back with the narc's deception. you save lives Anoushka, keep on going and thank you!
After a year, my narcissistic parent sent me a text 'I will only love you'. I'm speechless lol. Thanks but no thanks. My mental health is more important
My brother tried it on my birthday last year. I asked him to leave the premises (my daughter's shop) he said he's things in the car for me. I said "I'm not interested, goodbye". - and that's the end of that.
My narc was never charming! I kept leaving and he kept hoovering. Then he accused me of cheating on him and giving him an STD. Immediately, game over! 6 months narc free. Life is so peaceful. 💕🖕
1. The childhood part is understandable. Each of us is a product of our environment, both genetic and world experience. 2. He tries to keep me hanging around. But one moment he is smilingly mean and actually hateful. The next moment he is kind and considerate. The feeling I get from him is that hr is wary of me the way a helpless prey is wary of a predator. I think he's scared(?) of me? 3. When I started - or was forced by him to start - no contact I missed him and every day hoped to see him. 4. Now that I have dropped out of contact the second time I go out of my way to make sure I don't see him. I dread seeing the helpless dread beast that acts out the worst, most painfull of human traits: through deliberate perpetuation of abuse on a fellow traveler in this life. I feel sad for him even while I am disgusted with his deliberate destructive behavior. 5. The man is formed in his childhood. Besides the behaviors he learns, and uses to get along and to survive, and brings into manhood, does he not also bring the innocence of himself, as well as the confusion of conflicting behaviors, into adulthood? 6. How do I know I've gotten past the narcissist? There has been news come into my life that he would, if he found out, use to simultaneously make himself a God and me a ripped and shredded nothing. 7. Maybe we can't help who we love. Maybe we can only partially understand trauma, childhood or adulthood, but we do fully know when to run, when to run for the hills. Run. Keep running. Never look back.
Bumped into the ex narc at a street festival, been a year of no contact. So he offered to buy some street food. I agreed since it was in public. I was horrified to see how unwell he looked and he spoke of how miserable he was. It was sad to hear. But no mention of any reunion or "us". So I left just feeling bar for their choices. A month later he asked to meet up at the same pizza spot. So I went, out of boredom and curiosity. (We are both seniors). Well this time he filled in information gaps from our past relationship that would have if shared limited some points of disagreement. I was shaking my head thinking how much drama he caused by his secrets. Then he announced he had reconnected with one of his daughters ( he had kids all over who had nothing to do with him), and she is just like him he announces, and she calls him daily, and on and on. Essentially saying he's found his new love, and she cares, and is perfect. Well I wanted to laugh, and scream in frustration at same time. So he was announcing my emotional discard because he has his daughter giving him supply. He looked smug as if he had a new gf to trot out. Meanwhile if she IS a narc like him, she's after his stuff since he us unwell. So as we walked to our cars he says he feels he should set up my burial arrangements (did I die?) since I'm alone, and he has buried his parents and set up his own. I paused...yep just hand him the money and he will set it all up with no input from me....LOL yeah right I trust you. So I share because this Hoover wasn't a Hoover so much as a told you I'd find someone else. Weird narc.
The narc actually contacted my HUSBAND thinking he would weasel back in after two years of no contact. Thankfully my husband ignored him. God have mercy and keep this person out of our life.
So true I knew something wasn’t right the first time but went back after 2 years of no contact and the disrespect and treatment was worse than any relationship I’ve ever been in. He was a surgeon that I thought had changed but like a true Narcissist that was a lie..I’m now armed with knowledge and will never go back to any evil spirits again no one deserves this kind of treatment
Push and pull = shelf dynamic. They want to pick you up and put you back on the shelf when it suits. It's also a way of 'demoting' you if you were previously the primary source. The problem with letting them back in your life is that they have resentment toward you for going no contact.
After almost a week and half had to block her. Wouldn’t stop reaching out then finally she once again turned table’s on me. Keep in mind she has literally been taking to herself via text and social. I haven’t responded to anything.
Their attempts at stalking following or showing up where they aren’t allowed will be a colossal mistake they will regret. All I need a reason, a cellphone and the police department on speed dial.
MY DEAR SIS ,I LACK WORDS TO THANK YOU ,I HAD A SEMILER CONVERSATION LIKE WHAT YOU SAID, THANK MY GOD GOD I HAVE A STRONG WHIEL POWER ,MY YES IS YES AND MY NO IS NO, HE CAME ONECAND I DID NOT OFER EVEN A WORD TO HIM, THE 2ND TIME I SAID I AM DONE NO WAY FOR US TO MOVE IN AGAIM ,GOD BLESS YOU MY SIS ,KEEP ON .I LOVE YOU,
I’m just waiting for contact from her after absolutely no contact. I was in hospital over Christmas undergoing open heart surgery to rectify a mitral valve when she disappeared. No word, nothing what so ever, not even ‘I hope you’re OK’, nothing. So yes, I’m waiting for her to contact me. If she invites me back, I’ll say, “oh yes Sweetheart, of course I’ll come back, I’ll just go to the bank first then I’ll meet you at home”. THEN I’LL DISAPPEAR without a word. Never ever go back. It’s a backward move.
It seems nomatter how much they are trying to make up for it it doesn't compute well. Interesting note here to why they keep you in a push-pull state of contact.
Is it called Hoover ? It happens to me, she’s with new supply but she stays in contact with me often despite ignored and blocked her. I think you should do a video about “ Why narcissist stays in contact with ex while their are with new supply “
They stay friends with Ex's so you're still under them control and they want to know what's going on in your life OR maybe they just kept you so any time they get bore with new supply they will go back to you because narcissist hate to be alone they need attention!
I went no contact but this narc is using some type of app on his phone and calling from all kinds of different numbers as soon as I answer and hear his voice I immediately hang up I blocked him from social media, emails, cellphone and home phone I don’t know what else to do he continues to come pass my house ringing my doorbell and banging on my door so now I have to get a ex parte because I’m also being threatened
Not sure I told you Anoushka. My mum died Christmas Day just gone. I have a new Facebook account, posted a picture (stockings by the fireplace) and wouldnt you know it, 'she' (ex) 'liked' it .. 2 weeks after my mum died. I ignored it. This was over 4 years after I'd left!! So viewers, there's an example for you.
Sorry to hear about your Mum, Jack I hope you are getting the strength to cope with your sadness. Try to get through this coming Christmas Day, it will be tough but you have come so far. Sending you caring and healing thoughts. xx
She - Your ex - is stalking You yet. It's common but not a nice experience ... I now that. They always would do be sure of that. But take no Notice of it and by the way - how could she like that picture? Yes of course: You showed in Official ... do not EVER do anything Official if You it IS private - EVER! And remember - BLOCK her at ANY social media.
he came back right when i was doing better... he rushed in toto lovebombing.. i didnt take him back. he felt rejected and got his ego hurt so he put me into revenge by putting me into silent treatment and read my text msg but didnt reply and he went straight into a relationship although he didnt last a month and a half lol getting his karma from his short term relatiomships. i took him for who he was when others took advantage of him.. and when he took advantage of me hes getting it right back from his karma chics.
I was really hoping that you’d give specific advice on what to do in those particular scenarios you mentioned at the beginning. I went no contact with my mom which very quickly meant I had to go no contact with my dad and my sisters and the whole family basically. My mom and the rest of them have found many ways to get through by setting up different phone numbers and through the mail. A couple of weeks ago she showed up in a crazed state and really scared all of us. So far, I’ve been ignoring all the letters and texts. When she came, I calmly talked to her and tried to get her to leave. I eventually had to call the police. I want to make sure I’m doing the right things. I just want this torture to end.
I moved 1200km away to a small coastal town. My narc followed me and now lives two blocks away. Lovely. I am bound to walk into her sooner or later. Nod and walk on. Keep your phone in your hand and take a fake call as you move into another direction. Be neutral, do not show any emotion. If you have to talk, if you are cornered, just say thanks for everything but it is better this way and leave or whatever, but most important PREPARE a sentence or two well in advance. STAY STRONG!!! Narcs are demons. Run!
I’ve been no contact for a few months now. He is my ex husband, and he already moved with someone else in the house, however he is contacting my sister, aunt, brother in-law sending them messages and then deleting them on FB just to get attention. I have blocked him everywhere and last thing he did he went traveling with that girl and sent me an email with his flight ticket 🤯🤯🤯 why?! If he moved on can he just leave me alone?
My ex-wife actually sent me a picture of her and the newbe in the dam bed together. Reckon only logical reasoning is that, "God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy"!!!!🧐 An I'll have another drink to that🥃🍻
@@Anila-o9z well don't have a panic. Hillbilly was simply cruise is all. Ol Willie Nelson and I stay on the short bus and that doggone bus driver well she be driving way to slow all the time
My narc contacted me after two marriages, as after ours, so I sent her the marriage license, and her written lies, hopefully that will convince her. Blocked her new email
What if we blocked them? I told her some good news about my new job recently before blocking her just to show her that she hasn’t destroyed me. How do I know that she’ll be stalking me?
Oh you’ll see. She’ll find other ways, to a point where if it wasn’t so painful it’d be funny… I block the calls then I got messenger, then I got email, when I blocked that, Instagram. Creating new accounts of borrowing some other people. If you’d like my advice, don’t try to show them anything, there is really no point. Just hold on to no contact at all. That’s the best you can do. And you know she’ll be stalking because that’s just how they work, unfortunately. Hang in there 💪🏻
@@clemencev7162 it’s really creepy. One of my biggest fears is that she’ll return to hurt me again and I won’t even see it coming, even though I’ve blocked her off everywhere
@@callumhaigh8233 It is sooo creepy, I definitely agree. And I understand your fear all too well. That’s the reason I still read the messages and don’t delete them in case I need them to prove how crazy, in case he does something. I think I shouldn’t even read them, it’s already giving them too much. I’ve given more than enough. It’s gonna take time if it’s still quite recent for you, they take such a big tole on your psyche. This channel might help, I also recommend Dr Ramani, she is very clear and has helped me understand lots of what happened to me, very fond of that lady
DON'T ever give them "presents like good news" - they will always try to manage a way to destroy for You. For now - just wait for her move. Why don't You block her and get NC??? Try to understand - You are NOT getting a revenge and by the way: Why are You take energy to show her ANYTHING? It's not revenge even ... The REVENGE is to go further into the future and NOT giving them a smallest thing to knowing anything about Your future life
You have been so helpful to me. I filed a protection from abuse order on my narcissist wife about a week ago. The State police asked me to stay away from the house until she was served and removed, and that was good advice. When the officer called a few hours later he informed me that she had some sort of a seizure upon being served to say she froze up. He informed me that she was taken to the hospital for observation. When I got home it felt strange and eery and I felt horribly sad and confused. I struggled with my decision, yet knew in my heart that I did the right thing. The hospital called my home to feel things out (probably trying to figure out who will be responsible for the bill without coming right out and saying so). I made it clear that she is responsible for the bill she has created. I asked them if she was alright and he stated that she didn't have a seizure but a stressful event perhaps a panic attack. Within a day or two following her release, she began to try and make contact with me on two separate occasions. I first observed that someone had dropped her off in my driveway and she was walking towards my home. I motioned to her in the window to go away and called 911. She turned around heading back to the street and reached into her bag for something. What I think she was reaching for was a cell phone. The reason I say this is because the state trooper looking for her stated she was nowhere to be seen, but he assured me that he would find her. It is likely that the flying monkey that dropped her off in my driveway was waiting for her call and whisked her off the street before the state trooper could find her. He had me fill out a complaint form and reminded me that if I make a false statement I could be in deep trouble. Growing concerned, I asked him that if he didn't find her does that make me out to be a liar? He stated no and that people don't generally call them to fabricate a lie about someone who's broken a no-contact court order. I have a gravel driveway and the snow is melting creating a muddy situation at this time of year. So the trooper took his camera out of the cruiser and walked down my driveway to the estimated spot where one of her flying monkeys dropped her off made a U-turn in my driveway heading back out to the street. Thank God for my muddy driveway and a State Trooper hell-bent on doing a little detective work. A day or two later she calls from a variety store in town a total of 10 times leaving a nasty message on one of her calls indicating how pissed off she was that I called the police. And of course, displaying no remorse or accountability for her abuse of me. She then places a call to my cell phone for a total of 11 calls within a 10 - 15 minute time frame. I then placed another call to the same trouper since he was familiar with my case and he stated that he would be out looking for her. He called me a few hours later (if I recall correctly) and stated that he still had not located her and that he would let me know when he has caught up with her. I believe it was by the end of the day when he called to inform me that he found her handing her a summons to appear in court on 11 counts and explained to her once again that she was not to contact me. My hearing date for my protection from abuse order was today. She didn't show up so the judge awarded me two-year protection from abuse order. I am so grateful to God right now for protecting me from evil. I have begun to pack her things to remove some of the painful memories of being married to this woman. I still feel incredibly sad and conflicted at times knowing that we could have had a wonderful life together. But I know I am doing the right thing and there is no going back. Please pray for me dear community as I begin to gather myself and pick up the pieces. I pray that the divorce won't be a sideshow.
I am praying for you brother 🙏🏻 I’ve been no contact for 2 months. I antagonized her (i have been toxic too) and she has made new emails and Instagram accounts to reach me. I changed my number so I haven’t received any phone calls, but she has attempted to get my attention on 7 different occasions (emails, liked posts, DM’s, new accounts etc). I’ve been suicidal for the majority of this time. This is the most traumatic experience of my entire life. Please pray for me as well brother.
@@HardWorkPays0ff Dear God, I pray that you will bless and protect this person, myself, and all those who have had encounters with the likes of the evil and wicked spirit of Jezebel and any related and unrelated dark force commissioned by Satan to do us harm and steal our blessings. I ask that we receive the guidance of the holy spirit and that You - dear God will dispatch legions of angels to all vulnerable areas where evil can enter and do us harm. Satan, I command you to depart from God's children and return to the caverns of hell where you belong! By the shed blood of Jesus Christ we have the authority to demand that you go never to return. In Jesus' precious name I pray - Amen and AMEN!
He is comming back but not as the nicest person....he is claiming i do things and if i do it again he wil go to the police.....sending me emails, sms all day
Two weeks of no contact on her part and then she text me for me to take her stuff to her place . I never responded . Now a week later now she calls but I didn’t answer . So now what ?
Hi I'm slightly confused, I've been nc for 4months, 2 months in the narc sent his fm to the shop I work In I told the fm that the narc is toxic, then 2 days ago the narc walked into the shop ,, I made no effort to make conversation with him and no reaction He left saying to me to take care Is this a hoover or just testing the water? He is an overt narc, his mum idolised him
Same! Sadly, I gave into his request. What happened was instead of saying sorry, he ended up explaining how everything wasn't his fault. Such pathetic beings.
Thank you . I will be watching. I'm on no contact it's been 2months he told me to get the f____ out and he's my husband. I have no idea what to do but heal and I think I need a divorce
Ok..it's been over a year and out of the blue I get an email from him....like nothing has happened saying he has 3 more months to go....???? I'm thinking is he in jail, hooked up in relationship, rehab, sober living home..whatt???..he deflects any questions I have......
On and off with my narc ex for 5 years only just realised she was a narc knowing my luck she won't hoover again now I know what she is and would be able to say no lol
My brother is a Narc , My mother l was her slave as a child . My husband which my mother said you have a bargain. The Bargain has left her alcoholic husband 19 yrs later, he didn't work 7, 8 yrs of marriage 130,000 drug habit , and in the end help himself to the bank account 150, 000 . This is true .....
Hell no, stay away from me. I know his ass has been plotting on me when he comes around. I dumped him cold turkey and have ignored and blocked him everywhere. He popped up at my job and I still didn’t budge! Never going back
Hello Anoushka, thank you for the video, sounds about right. I have an additional question I haven’t been able to find any answer to. After going through all of that, I’ve been practicing a good healthy no contact for 7 years. Yet every few months I still receive wildly inappropriate messages, often threatening. I still hold on to no contact and see everything for what it is but can’t shake off the fear that one day he might show up and act on these threats. I believe he’s a coward and it might just be all talk to try and get any reaction from me (which he won’t) still how can I be sure? In your experience, has there been precedents to a narc coming back after years? Thank you 🤍
Of course he came back - year after year - cause IF You get those message year after year You have NOT get in a REAL No Contact. He can see that You are reading those message - right? Only that You READ those message give him fuel ... ANYTHING gives the narc fule even if You do not answers those message - You read those and as I say: He can see that = Bingo for fule to him! So PLEASE - change phone-number and kept i SECRET. It maybe cost some money - but DO that! Yes. They can maybe come in physic form to Your home and YES they can even be violent. Specially a covert narc. I know that by my self.
@@detjaggillar8081 no, he can’t see that I read them, I know that even that would cause what you said and I’m being very careful. Don’t worry, I’ve had years to understand exactly how they work. He sends messages borrowing other people’s accounts on messenger and Instagram. Since they are not in my contact, as long as I don’t accept them, he can’t see that I’ve opened them. But you’re right, I might just stop reading them altogether and save myself from that at. Like Callum Haigh, I just want a heads up if he’s threatening to take action
My experience is that when he got between relationships, he'd try to reconnect. It was like trying to fight off a demon. And if I ever opened the door, I was screwed.
When I was growing up , I was told by other women that women wanted to be made to ‘feel special’, does that make them narcissists? Is it wrong in something intimate like a relationship that both ppl desire to be special to the other ?? I was accused of being a narcassist in my last relationship becsue I honestly felt like I wasn’t appreciated, and there were certain personality traits about her that made me feel insecure, so I told her about it becasue I was concerned about our relationship , and yes at times i was rude and meen when she really angered me. I am sorry for being rude but she really pissed me off sometimes and I wasn’t afraid to show it !! Does that make me a narcassist??!!? The minute she labelled me a narcassist , I just had to end it right there !!! Never felt love just switch off like that
Hey Anoushka would you consider making a video about when/if the narcissist reach out after a smear campaign and no contact ps you did it again spot on 🙌🏼
It’s common For them to be smearing you but still hoovering you but obviously not letting the people know because it’s happened to me that they’re contacting you because they’re badmouthing you to people but also hoovering you at the same time to get you back they are the worst of the worst human beans we unfortunately have come across
Iv got a serious question. Iv been trying to figure out my girlfriend and from what I think I know about both of us I believe that we are both narcissist. I totally love my girl and I'm fairly sure that she loves me. Therefore how in the hell do we make a happy couple again??? We flew so high and so quick from the very beginning of our relationship but our space ship did a nosedive back to earth faster than we took flight. Anyone have input on this unfortunate issue??? I must add the one before the current one I was with for 27 years. I hooked up with this one about 14 months after my last relationship and it's been bouta year and a half with the one I'm in know but she's packed and moved out perhaps 30 doggone times. LWTF?????
My question is, should I completely ignore their texts/attempts to reach out and reconnect during no contact? Or should I act as if I’ve been doing just fine and quickly end the conversation? Thank you
I could never do casual with him. I was either totally enmeshed or trying to peel him off. Took me to bankruptcy, eviction, physical illness, antidepressants, places I had never been. I recovered but my family of origin is full of narcissists. No contact works for me, but I have bad reactions to their flying Monkeys.
These videos can be funny to those who love the MBTI personality types model because it’s simple like that: The N types are atemporal humans, and the S types are more domestic and hive mind beings. The Ns don’t need personal contact every day but are receptive if looked for every day. The S types are more gregarious in their values and beliefs and get toxic because they understand they don’t have reciprocity. There is also another reason people can feel annoyed or more: every human is always open to meaningful contacts. When an N (intuitive) person meets an S (sensing) person or vice-versa, they start to have a cognitive dissonance because their inner functioning where the internal values and beliefs can be the opposite or have different hierarchical order in the stacks of their cognitive functions. This is an N person writing on not labeling people as “narcissists” because you don't look for more profound theories.
My narcissistic daughter called me on Father's Day. The "HOOVER" Not a Father's Day for me, but for her. She didn't care anything about my feelings in the past. Now a call on Father's Day. She's BLOCKED came on my phone along with her phone number. Funny thing about it I was watching videos on Narcissisim when she called. Ingrate. She's still on BLOCK. I Know daughters cares for their fathers. And would they not care more after being estranged. Would they not want to cling in love and growth. She's back where she started. ESTRANGED. GREEDY, NONE CARING, ALL THE NARCISSIST WAYS.
Anoushka, I really approiciate your deap understanding of narcisismo. I made sence of what happend to me by HG Truder and it helped me, but triggered me bad on the other hand I even became aggressiv towards him, what not did me good in my situación. It is a warm embrace hearing it from a human. After pulling her out of my house with the help of a friend, who happens to be a lawer. By another lawer a friend of him, who is an expert and two cops, they saved me. It was such a shame, I am a big strong guy, but they sad I did it right. I was hardly able to phone my friend, she got one phone of mine and the keys of my house, car and motorbike. I sad to her, there is nothing more you can do, accept it, even if I have to run naked to the police, I run much faster than you do, it's over for you. She kept in her delusional state of mind or should I say being. This was 9 th febrero on valentín's day she «acused» me by texting, I «forgot» writing her¿?¿?¿ I kept the chanel open for evidence for a restraining order against her. The material was suficiente. Now I changed my números. Thank you desde Sudamérica
My narcissistic ex even filed a complain with the police that I went no contact. I was very surprised when the police came to my door. There were children involved and she used the kids to send the police to my door.
This video is the best synthesis of my experience with my ex narc girlfriend. It was a nightmare … full of push and pull, gaslighting and confusion. Thanks for reminding me 🙏🫶
Be very careful. They have resentment and desperately want to punish you and make you suffer.
Over and over again after they get you where they want you so to make you suffer.
Linda Bell this was the comment I was looking for !
Nothing is more true, they come back acting like they want to better themselves. They start off good, and then suddenly the punishment comes up because you disgarded them before. And they do their best to mentally break you down and hurt you emotionally in order to get even at you.
Only everytime they get better in their punishment because they now know what really hurts you. And they will use it on you !
So, so true! Not going there!
Indeed, second time lasted 3 months with me. She quickly became distant and most likely cheating. I questioned the behaviour and the name calling, threats, and devaluing really started. I got out but ended up abandoning some of my property in the process. They want you to go but stay also. Very bizarre. When you leave they will begin the threats and fear tactics. RUN.
Yes make you suffer again.
Discarded 3 times. Same each time.
KEEP THE DOOR COMPLETELY SHUT. I made the mistake of going back. I knew there was something wrong with my ex the first time. After leaving the second time it all became clear. IT IS WORTH IT IF I CAN SAVE SOMEONE ELSE GOING BACK TO A NARCISSIST. DON'T LISTEN TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING, IT'S A LIE. SHUT THE DOOR AND RUN.
My malignant covert narcissist family member has been hoovering on and off for months despite no contact from me. Trying to seem legit. These people are truly evil. They think you are their property. They are so crazy !
💯💯💯
Yeah I could also see that something was seriously off with my ex narcissist. Even on our good days there were so much off , and I couldn’t just put my finger on one thing. There was so much going on that I became depressed and angry. I found myself wondering if there was something wrong with me or the way I looked , and needless to say that I even ended up becoming a detective because I knew she was sneaking around and doing things behind my back. I found out I was exactly right , but even at that I was the bad guy.
I made the same mistake and the soul was dark and emptier than before, like I’m just another notch in the bedpost, cheated on the whole time I found out.
Same
A leopard NEVER changes it’s spots PERIOD!
Never go back no matter what
The more I study the more eerie it becomes, because it's spot on
Yep
YES!
Yes, true!
Right. I hear and just see my relationship being told to me step by step in everything I look up , or video I watch , and even through other peoples stories. It’s been very helpful , but very strange
If they contact you after no-contact. You didn't do it properly. You gotta go total blackout. You gotta be unapproachable, so that they don't even know how to approach you again.
Hum… I’m sorry but no. He still finds ways after 7 years of absolute silence on my part. Not a single word.
@@clemencev7162 They tried hard finding you especially if you have kids by them but you got to stat strong
@@annacarter4879 they never showed up in person, I receive wildly inappropriate and threatening messages. And I’m thankful everyday I didn’t have a child with him. Nothing to link me to him forever. I can be totally free, or almost I suppose
@@annacarter4879 he keeps saying he’ll eventually show, that’s what’s I fear, I never want to see him ever again
WORDS!!!
I wish everybody understand this
It will only end up with the same kind of relationship that you had when you got away from this toxic person. If they get you back there can be no happy ending! Thank you for reminding us of this Anoushka!
You are so right,Anoushka ! And I, do know for a fact I'm never ever falling for their tricks to regain power over me-again.
Needed this! Thank youB
I'm sure there is more than me being more of us for this one. Right now.
I was 100 steps in front of them from the beginning. My only mistake was believing in them instead of believing in god. I tried my best, now god's gonna take over from here on. Total Blackout. Forever. If they contact me/ stalk me... etc. I will file a restraining-order immediately.
I always believe in what he always said but more than that I believe in GOD... he always use God to get me always... and God knows everything and his plan is the best plan always...
It will get worse every time you take them back, they want to do more damage for you being weak enough to let them back. They will respect every bit of you if you walk away from them with your head held high, you will be placed on a pedestal as the one that left! Please do not go back, it is not real, none of it, it is all an illusion and they are not well. Keep moving on in your life and know who you are and what you deserve. ❤
5 months since he dumped me. saw him posted on socials with his new supply earlier this month in his home country, she’s 20 with a 4 year old son. he removed his tag from the picture.
he texted me today "Hey, how are you? I left my ray bans at your house, right?" must be back home now and bored? This is so upsetting he thinks this is ok. the last time we messaged a few months ago he was so cold, callous and cruel.
Why would he want them now? I don’t have them. Why would he want them after he came back from his trip in south america, not before? it’s like every few months reaches out to me
You are right. If the person valued you enough to go to extreme lengths to get you back after you go no contact, they would have put in those same consistent efforts into treating you well before. They would have treated you better, with more respect, showing you how valuable you really are to them. It should not take someone leaving for you to suddenly realize that they deserve to be treated well and with respect.
Right on
When you go back to the narc remember the problems y'all had have not been solved and discussed so you get the same probls back when you go back with the same outcome and as long as you allow them to come back this will happen over and over again.
Absolutely
Hello
That's right
When my ex attempted some of her mental gymnastics I just thought: Oh, nice try honey.. thanks but no thanks!
Oh yes, I had ALL these scenarios happen to me. The flip-flopping was crazy making. Leaving me, then hoovering, the begging, then gaslighting, then leaving me, then hoovering, then breaking in my house, then literally slapping me, then leaving me, then coming back, love bombimg again, then triangulation! For 5 years I thought I was going crazy and was so lost. Once you identify they have NPD, get the knowledge, listen to as many videos and read as many books as you can, ACCEPT what you are hearing and learning, guard your heart and GET AWAY!! They dont love the way you do and especially under the domain of a covert, you may die of heartbreak and illness before THEY let YOU go, for real. This video is spot on! Listen, learn and move on to love another day!
This video will save someone life. Thank you Anoushka!
But if you put clear to the Narc that you know what he is and what he /she do , they will NEVER Will come back .
But if Narcissists need attention and validation, why do they abuse it and take it for granted when they get the attention they long for?
Cause they want You to be co-dependent of them and work hard to built up the bounds to them with "hot and cold"behavior. They will try at first with hot behavior and love-bombing You and then let it go to "hot and cold" again and on and on - until You are addict of them and co-dependent too them.
It is simple but very strong bounds that they do to You to get stock in a toxic relationship.
Counter productive🤭 Like a parasite does, eats the host. LMAO
I truly believe that I am one myself or at least I have similarlies of of one but I simply stay in my garage day and night but yet it's still always my fault of everything. Although for months I have been trying her the couple of things that could have put me back in her arms and she wouldn't ever agnolage what I said, Simply telling me it was my fault. She never changed so I just stayed in my garage longer and longer gitn drunker and drunker
@@detjaggillar8081 Exactly 💯
Because it’s not nearly enough for them and never will be…
although i've already figured it out, your videos like this reminds me/us to never go back with the narc's deception.
you save lives Anoushka, keep on going and thank you!
After a year, my narcissistic parent sent me a text 'I will only love you'. I'm speechless lol. Thanks but no thanks. My mental health is more important
My brother tried it on my birthday last year. I asked him to leave the premises (my daughter's shop) he said he's things in the car for me. I said "I'm not interested, goodbye". - and that's the end of that.
good job! i admire your courage and strength. keep healing survivor!
My narc was never charming! I kept leaving and he kept hoovering. Then he accused me of cheating on him and giving him an STD. Immediately, game over! 6 months narc free. Life is so peaceful. 💕🖕
1. The childhood part is understandable. Each of us is a product of our environment, both genetic and world experience.
2. He tries to keep me hanging around. But one moment he is smilingly mean and actually hateful. The next moment he is kind and considerate. The feeling I get from him is that hr is wary of me the way a helpless prey is wary of a predator. I think he's scared(?) of me?
3. When I started - or was forced by him to start - no contact I missed him and every day hoped to see him.
4. Now that I have dropped out of contact the second time I go out of my way to make sure I don't see him. I dread seeing the helpless dread beast that acts out the worst, most painfull of human traits: through deliberate perpetuation of abuse on a fellow traveler in this life. I feel sad for him even while I am disgusted with his deliberate destructive behavior.
5. The man is formed in his childhood. Besides the behaviors he learns, and uses to get along and to survive, and brings into manhood, does he not also bring the innocence of himself, as well as the confusion of conflicting behaviors, into adulthood?
6. How do I know I've gotten past the narcissist? There has been news come into my life that he would, if he found out, use to simultaneously make himself a God and me a ripped and shredded nothing.
7. Maybe we can't help who we love. Maybe we can only partially understand trauma, childhood or adulthood, but we do fully know when to run, when to run for the hills. Run. Keep running. Never look back.
I saw her. She acted like a coward. And very insecure. Was easy to ignore her and move on.
Pay no attention to their words.
Bumped into the ex narc at a street festival, been a year of no contact. So he offered to buy some street food. I agreed since it was in public. I was horrified to see how unwell he looked and he spoke of how miserable he was. It was sad to hear. But no mention of any reunion or "us". So I left just feeling bar for their choices. A month later he asked to meet up at the same pizza spot. So I went, out of boredom and curiosity. (We are both seniors). Well this time he filled in information gaps from our past relationship that would have if shared limited some points of disagreement. I was shaking my head thinking how much drama he caused by his secrets. Then he announced he had reconnected with one of his daughters ( he had kids all over who had nothing to do with him), and she is just like him he announces, and she calls him daily, and on and on. Essentially saying he's found his new love, and she cares, and is perfect. Well I wanted to laugh, and scream in frustration at same time. So he was announcing my emotional discard because he has his daughter giving him supply. He looked smug as if he had a new gf to trot out. Meanwhile if she IS a narc like him, she's after his stuff since he us unwell. So as we walked to our cars he says he feels he should set up my burial arrangements (did I die?) since I'm alone, and he has buried his parents and set up his own. I paused...yep just hand him the money and he will set it all up with no input from me....LOL yeah right I trust you. So I share because this Hoover wasn't a Hoover so much as a told you I'd find someone else. Weird narc.
It’s so cyclical it’s a never ending cycle other women, lies, no genuine apologies
The narc actually contacted my HUSBAND thinking he would weasel back in after two years of no contact. Thankfully my husband ignored him. God have mercy and keep this person out of our life.
Mine dumped me and has now been silent for 4 months.
So true I knew something wasn’t right the first time but went back after 2 years of no contact and the disrespect and treatment was worse than any relationship I’ve ever been in. He was a surgeon that I thought had changed but like a true Narcissist that was a lie..I’m now armed with knowledge and will never go back to any evil spirits again no one deserves this kind of treatment
Push and pull = shelf dynamic. They want to pick you up and put you back on the shelf when it suits. It's also a way of 'demoting' you if you were previously the primary source. The problem with letting them back in your life is that they have resentment toward you for going no contact.
After almost a week and half had to block her. Wouldn’t stop reaching out then finally she once again turned table’s on me. Keep in mind she has literally been taking to herself via text and social. I haven’t responded to anything.
Their attempts at stalking following or showing up where they aren’t allowed will be a colossal mistake they will regret. All I need a reason, a cellphone and the police department on speed dial.
Ideally full no contact and emotional no contact should be lifelong!
You are such a glamorous woman Your love is a very blessed man
MY DEAR SIS ,I LACK WORDS TO THANK YOU ,I HAD A SEMILER CONVERSATION LIKE WHAT YOU SAID, THANK MY GOD GOD I HAVE A STRONG WHIEL POWER ,MY YES IS YES AND MY NO IS NO, HE CAME ONECAND I DID NOT OFER EVEN A WORD TO HIM, THE 2ND TIME I SAID I AM DONE NO WAY FOR US TO MOVE IN AGAIM ,GOD BLESS YOU MY SIS ,KEEP ON .I LOVE YOU,
I’m just waiting for contact from her after absolutely no contact.
I was in hospital over Christmas undergoing open heart surgery to rectify a mitral valve when she disappeared.
No word, nothing what so ever, not even ‘I hope you’re OK’, nothing.
So yes, I’m waiting for her to contact me.
If she invites me back, I’ll say, “oh yes Sweetheart, of course I’ll come back,
I’ll just go to the bank first then I’ll meet you at home”.
THEN I’LL DISAPPEAR without a word.
Never ever go back. It’s a backward move.
And if thay have a new suppli?
Thay still come back?
8 years together!
I gave him my world
It seems nomatter how much they are trying to make up for it it doesn't compute well.
Interesting note here to why they keep you in a push-pull state of contact.
Is it called Hoover ? It happens to me, she’s with new supply but she stays in contact with me often despite ignored and blocked her. I think you should do a video about “ Why narcissist stays in contact with ex while their are with new supply “
They stay friends with thier exs so they can use them to triangulate. They use them to make u jealous, argue or do things against u in some cases.
They stay friends with Ex's so you're still under them control and they want to know what's going on in your life OR maybe they just kept you so any time they get bore with new supply they will go back to you because narcissist hate to be alone they need attention!
Let's just play some pool together
It's crying when you go
They discarded me. Can't wait to see if they'll come back. I'm done with the narcissist !
They don't always come back!!
This is true 100%
I went no contact but this narc is using some type of app on his phone and calling from all kinds of different numbers as soon as I answer and hear his voice I immediately hang up I blocked him from social media, emails, cellphone and home phone I don’t know what else to do he continues to come pass my house ringing my doorbell and banging on my door so now I have to get a ex parte because I’m also being threatened
Not sure I told you Anoushka. My mum died Christmas Day just gone. I have a new Facebook account, posted a picture (stockings by the fireplace) and wouldnt you know it, 'she' (ex) 'liked' it .. 2 weeks after my mum died. I ignored it. This was over 4 years after I'd left!! So viewers, there's an example for you.
Sorry to hear about your Mum, Jack I hope you are getting the strength to cope with your sadness. Try to get through this coming Christmas Day, it will be tough but you have come so far. Sending you caring and healing thoughts. xx
She - Your ex - is stalking You yet. It's common but not a nice experience ... I now that.
They always would do be sure of that. But take no Notice of it and by the way - how could she like that picture? Yes of course: You showed in Official ... do not EVER do anything Official if You it IS private - EVER!
And remember - BLOCK her at ANY social media.
She was hoping to catch you at a point when you were the most vulnerable.
I just ignored him and didn't respond. Didn't even read the msg
he came back right when i was doing better... he rushed in toto lovebombing.. i didnt take him back. he felt rejected and got his ego hurt so he put me into revenge by putting me into silent treatment and read my text msg but didnt reply and he went straight into a relationship although he didnt last a month and a half lol getting his karma from his short term relatiomships. i took him for who he was when others took advantage of him.. and when he took advantage of me hes getting it right back from his karma chics.
Thank you Ma'am. I've been so blessed by you
I was really hoping that you’d give specific advice on what to do in those particular scenarios you mentioned at the beginning. I went no contact with my mom which very quickly meant I had to go no contact with my dad and my sisters and the whole family basically. My mom and the rest of them have found many ways to get through by setting up different phone numbers and through the mail. A couple of weeks ago she showed up in a crazed state and really scared all of us. So far, I’ve been ignoring all the letters and texts. When she came, I calmly talked to her and tried to get her to leave. I eventually had to call the police. I want to make sure I’m doing the right things. I just want this torture to end.
You're doing the right thing....keep ignoring...call the police again if you have to. These people are toxic. Keep away from them .
If possible move overseas
I moved 1200km away to a small coastal town. My narc followed me and now lives two blocks away. Lovely. I am bound to walk into her sooner or later. Nod and walk on. Keep your phone in your hand and take a fake call as you move into another direction. Be neutral, do not show any emotion. If you have to talk, if you are cornered, just say thanks for everything but it is better this way and leave or whatever, but most important PREPARE a sentence or two well in advance. STAY STRONG!!! Narcs are demons. Run!
@@PebbleBeachLife Thank you!!!!
Thank you for this video!
I’ve been no contact for a few months now. He is my ex husband, and he already moved with someone else in the house, however he is contacting my sister, aunt, brother in-law sending them messages and then deleting them on FB just to get attention. I have blocked him everywhere and last thing he did he went traveling with that girl and sent me an email with his flight ticket 🤯🤯🤯 why?! If he moved on can he just leave me alone?
My ex-wife actually sent me a picture of her and the newbe in the dam bed together. Reckon only logical reasoning is that, "God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy"!!!!🧐 An I'll have another drink to that🥃🍻
@@paulbaker4608 crazy!
@@Anila-o9z may I ask why I'm crazy??? Every living thing on this planet is crazy, depends on how each control the crazy within
@@paulbaker4608 I was referring at the situation
@@Anila-o9z well don't have a panic. Hillbilly was simply cruise is all. Ol Willie Nelson and I stay on the short bus and that doggone bus driver well she be driving way to slow all the time
Thank you for helping me understand me
The narcissist I kno isn’t chasing anyone. He thinks he’s the best thing since slice bread.
My narc contacted me after two marriages, as after ours, so I sent her the marriage license, and her written lies, hopefully that will convince her. Blocked her new email
What if we blocked them? I told her some good news about my new job recently before blocking her just to show her that she hasn’t destroyed me.
How do I know that she’ll be stalking me?
Oh you’ll see. She’ll find other ways, to a point where if it wasn’t so painful it’d be funny… I block the calls then I got messenger, then I got email, when I blocked that, Instagram. Creating new accounts of borrowing some other people. If you’d like my advice, don’t try to show them anything, there is really no point. Just hold on to no contact at all. That’s the best you can do. And you know she’ll be stalking because that’s just how they work, unfortunately. Hang in there 💪🏻
@@clemencev7162 it’s really creepy. One of my biggest fears is that she’ll return to hurt me again and I won’t even see it coming, even though I’ve blocked her off everywhere
@@callumhaigh8233 It is sooo creepy, I definitely agree. And I understand your fear all too well. That’s the reason I still read the messages and don’t delete them in case I need them to prove how crazy, in case he does something. I think I shouldn’t even read them, it’s already giving them too much. I’ve given more than enough. It’s gonna take time if it’s still quite recent for you, they take such a big tole on your psyche. This channel might help, I also recommend Dr Ramani, she is very clear and has helped me understand lots of what happened to me, very fond of that lady
DON'T ever give them "presents like good news" - they will always try to manage a way to destroy for You.
For now - just wait for her move. Why don't You block her and get NC???
Try to understand - You are NOT getting a revenge and by the way: Why are You take energy to show her ANYTHING? It's not revenge even ...
The REVENGE is to go further into the future and NOT giving them a smallest thing to knowing anything about Your future life
@@detjaggillar8081 I’ve already blocked her and I’m not out for revenge
I wish I knew about this long time ago... I have a child with this narc and he tries to manipulate me on and on....
Thank you
You have been so helpful to me. I filed a protection from abuse order on my narcissist wife about a week ago. The State police asked me to stay away from the house until she was served and removed, and that was good advice. When the officer called a few hours later he informed me that she had some sort of a seizure upon being served to say she froze up. He informed me that she was taken to the hospital for observation. When I got home it felt strange and eery and I felt horribly sad and confused. I struggled with my decision, yet knew in my heart that I did the right thing. The hospital called my home to feel things out (probably trying to figure out who will be responsible for the bill without coming right out and saying so). I made it clear that she is responsible for the bill she has created. I asked them if she was alright and he stated that she didn't have a seizure but a stressful event perhaps a panic attack.
Within a day or two following her release, she began to try and make contact with me on two separate occasions. I first observed that someone had dropped her off in my driveway and she was walking towards my home. I motioned to her in the window to go away and called 911. She turned around heading back to the street and reached into her bag for something. What I think she was reaching for was a cell phone. The reason I say this is because the state trooper looking for her stated she was nowhere to be seen, but he assured me that he would find her. It is likely that the flying monkey that dropped her off in my driveway was waiting for her call and whisked her off the street before the state trooper could find her. He had me fill out a complaint form and reminded me that if I make a false statement I could be in deep trouble. Growing concerned, I asked him that if he didn't find her does that make me out to be a liar? He stated no and that people don't generally call them to fabricate a lie about someone who's broken a no-contact court order.
I have a gravel driveway and the snow is melting creating a muddy situation at this time of year. So the trooper took his camera out of the cruiser and walked down my driveway to the estimated spot where one of her flying monkeys dropped her off made a U-turn in my driveway heading back out to the street. Thank God for my muddy driveway and a State Trooper hell-bent on doing a little detective work.
A day or two later she calls from a variety store in town a total of 10 times leaving a nasty message on one of her calls indicating how pissed off she was that I called the police. And of course, displaying no remorse or accountability for her abuse of me. She then places a call to my cell phone for a total of 11 calls within a 10 - 15 minute time frame. I then placed another call to the same trouper since he was familiar with my case and he stated that he would be out looking for her. He called me a few hours later (if I recall correctly) and stated that he still had not located her and that he would let me know when he has caught up with her. I believe it was by the end of the day when he called to inform me that he found her handing her a summons to appear in court on 11 counts and explained to her once again that she was not to contact me.
My hearing date for my protection from abuse order was today. She didn't show up so the judge awarded me two-year protection from abuse order. I am so grateful to God right now for protecting me from evil. I have begun to pack her things to remove some of the painful memories of being married to this woman. I still feel incredibly sad and conflicted at times knowing that we could have had a wonderful life together. But I know I am doing the right thing and there is no going back.
Please pray for me dear community as I begin to gather myself and pick up the pieces. I pray that the divorce won't be a sideshow.
I am praying for you brother 🙏🏻 I’ve been no contact for 2 months. I antagonized her (i have been toxic too) and she has made new emails and Instagram accounts to reach me. I changed my number so I haven’t received any phone calls, but she has attempted to get my attention on 7 different occasions (emails, liked posts, DM’s, new accounts etc). I’ve been suicidal for the majority of this time. This is the most traumatic experience of my entire life. Please pray for me as well brother.
@@HardWorkPays0ff Dear God, I pray that you will bless and protect this person, myself, and all those who have had encounters with the likes of the evil and wicked spirit of Jezebel and any related and unrelated dark force commissioned by Satan to do us harm and steal our blessings.
I ask that we receive the guidance of the holy spirit and that You - dear God will dispatch legions of angels to all vulnerable areas where evil can enter and do us harm.
Satan, I command you to depart from God's children and return to the caverns of hell where you belong! By the shed blood of Jesus Christ we have the authority to demand that you go never to return.
In Jesus' precious name I pray - Amen and AMEN!
He is comming back but not as the nicest person....he is claiming i do things and if i do it again he wil go to the police.....sending me emails, sms all day
So true. My ex is saying the same thing... The legal action. But I didn't do anything. She popped out of nowhere. Now the emails arent stopping
Thanks so much 🙏
Two weeks of no contact on her part and then she text me for me to take her stuff to her place . I never responded . Now a week later now she calls but I didn’t answer . So now what ?
Knew what it likes
Let me stay
Hi I'm slightly confused, I've been nc for 4months, 2 months in the narc sent his fm to the shop I work In
I told the fm that the narc is toxic, then 2 days ago the narc walked into the shop ,, I made no effort to make conversation with him and no reaction
He left saying to me to take care
Is this a hoover or just testing the water?
He is an overt narc, his mum idolised him
Really wants
Yes got be very careful and I have had experience with one in hate him he didn't so too me hurt me and try make me like him
My came to after no contact asking for a truce
Same! Sadly, I gave into his request. What happened was instead of saying sorry, he ended up explaining how everything wasn't his fault. Such pathetic beings.
Don’t go back it’s all a lie they just want the power to get you back then will start To devalue you again
Thank you . I will be watching. I'm on no contact it's been 2months he told me to get the f____ out and he's my husband. I have no idea what to do but heal and I think I need a divorce
Four Narc ex's and none of them did this
You can't just walk away
We can change countries
Ty
Ok..it's been over a year and out of the blue I get an email from him....like nothing has happened saying he has 3 more months to go....???? I'm thinking is he in jail, hooked up in relationship, rehab, sober living home..whatt???..he deflects any questions I have......
BTW..he ghosted me with email saying he was in quarantine....
On and off with my narc ex for 5 years only just realised she was a narc knowing my luck she won't hoover again now I know what she is and would be able to say no lol
How is going No Contact different than ghosting or the narcissist's discard? AND were I to reach out after 6 months would it not be like hoovering?
I wonder how my sister became highly narcissistic, cause we both got validation, love and fairness from our parents. She is a mysterie to me
Demons
My brother is a Narc ,
My mother l was her slave as a child .
My husband which my mother said you have a bargain.
The Bargain has left her alcoholic husband 19 yrs later, he didn't work 7, 8 yrs of marriage 130,000 drug habit , and in the end help himself to the bank account 150, 000 .
This is true .....
Hell no, stay away from me. I know his ass has been plotting on me when he comes around. I dumped him cold turkey and have ignored and blocked him everywhere. He popped up at my job and I still didn’t budge! Never going back
Hello Anoushka, thank you for the video, sounds about right. I have an additional question I haven’t been able to find any answer to. After going through all of that, I’ve been practicing a good healthy no contact for 7 years. Yet every few months I still receive wildly inappropriate messages, often threatening. I still hold on to no contact and see everything for what it is but can’t shake off the fear that one day he might show up and act on these threats. I believe he’s a coward and it might just be all talk to try and get any reaction from me (which he won’t) still how can I be sure? In your experience, has there been precedents to a narc coming back after years? Thank you 🤍
Of course he came back - year after year - cause IF You get those message year after year You have NOT get in a REAL No Contact. He can see that You are reading those message - right? Only that You READ those message give him fuel ... ANYTHING gives the narc fule even if You do not answers those message - You read those and as I say: He can see that = Bingo for fule to him!
So PLEASE - change phone-number and kept i SECRET. It maybe cost some money - but DO that!
Yes. They can maybe come in physic form to Your home and YES they can even be violent. Specially a covert narc. I know that by my self.
@@detjaggillar8081 no, he can’t see that I read them, I know that even that would cause what you said and I’m being very careful. Don’t worry, I’ve had years to understand exactly how they work. He sends messages borrowing other people’s accounts on messenger and Instagram. Since they are not in my contact, as long as I don’t accept them, he can’t see that I’ve opened them. But you’re right, I might just stop reading them altogether and save myself from that at. Like Callum Haigh, I just want a heads up if he’s threatening to take action
@@clemencev7162 Definitely ignore him…
My experience is that when he got between relationships, he'd try to reconnect. It was like trying to fight off a demon. And if I ever opened the door, I was screwed.
How
My X Husband will NOT try, becz he put his hands on me and I been NO CONTACT for almost 1 year
Is special
When I was growing up , I was told by other women that women wanted to be made to ‘feel special’, does that make them narcissists? Is it wrong in something intimate like a relationship that both ppl desire to be special to the other ?? I was accused of being a narcassist in my last relationship becsue I honestly felt like I wasn’t appreciated, and there were certain personality traits about her that made me feel insecure, so I told her about it becasue I was concerned about our relationship , and yes at times i was rude and meen when she really angered me. I am sorry for being rude but she really pissed me off sometimes and I wasn’t afraid to show it !! Does that make me a narcassist??!!? The minute she labelled me a narcassist , I just had to end it right there !!! Never felt love just switch off like that
You just sound immature.
Hey Anoushka would you consider making a video about when/if the narcissist reach out after a smear campaign and no contact ps you did it again spot on 🙌🏼
It’s common For them to be smearing you but still hoovering you but obviously not letting the people know because it’s happened to me that they’re contacting you because they’re badmouthing you to people but also hoovering you at the same time to get you back they are the worst of the worst human beans we unfortunately have come across
@@sarahjane8949 thanks for your response 🙏🏼
But only from u
Iv got a serious question. Iv been trying to figure out my girlfriend and from what I think I know about both of us I believe that we are both narcissist. I totally love my girl and I'm fairly sure that she loves me. Therefore how in the hell do we make a happy couple again??? We flew so high and so quick from the very beginning of our relationship but our space ship did a nosedive back to earth faster than we took flight. Anyone have input on this unfortunate issue??? I must add the one before the current one I was with for 27 years. I hooked up with this one about 14 months after my last relationship and it's been bouta year and a half with the one I'm in know but she's packed and moved out perhaps 30 doggone times. LWTF?????
Yes...they love to leave.
A perfect fantasy
So every person with a broken heart is npd, really?
My question is, should I completely ignore their texts/attempts to reach out and reconnect during no contact? Or should I act as if I’ve been doing just fine and quickly end the conversation? Thank you
If you talk to them, it's possible they can manipulate you
Block block block block block don’t talk to these Demons
Ignore
I could never do casual with him. I was either totally enmeshed or trying to peel him off. Took me to bankruptcy, eviction, physical illness, antidepressants, places I had never been. I recovered but my family of origin is full of narcissists. No contact works for me, but I have bad reactions to their flying Monkeys.
Can you explain the links between and among narcissism, incest, and alcoholism?
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Me n U
These videos can be funny to those who love the MBTI personality types model because it’s simple like that:
The N types are atemporal humans, and the S types are more domestic and hive mind beings. The Ns don’t need personal contact every day but are receptive if looked for every day. The S types are more gregarious in their values and beliefs and get toxic because they understand they don’t have reciprocity.
There is also another reason people can feel annoyed or more: every human is always open to meaningful contacts.
When an N (intuitive) person meets an S (sensing) person or vice-versa, they start to have a cognitive dissonance because their inner functioning where the internal values and beliefs can be the opposite or have different hierarchical order in the stacks of their cognitive functions.
This is an N person writing on not labeling people as “narcissists” because you don't look for more profound theories.
Sorry !!! it's oll about control. They don t have empathy.
Does want this imagination
You look different af…
My narcissistic daughter called me on Father's Day.
The "HOOVER"
Not a Father's Day for me, but for her.
She didn't care anything about my feelings in the past.
Now a call on Father's Day.
She's BLOCKED came on my phone along with her phone number.
Funny thing about it I was watching videos on Narcissisim when she called.
Ingrate.
She's still on BLOCK.
I Know daughters cares for their fathers.
And would they not care more after being estranged.
Would they not want to cling in love and growth.
She's back where she started.
ESTRANGED.
GREEDY, NONE CARING, ALL THE NARCISSIST WAYS.
Anoushka, I really approiciate your deap understanding of narcisismo. I made sence of what happend to me by HG Truder and it helped me, but triggered me bad on the other hand I even became aggressiv towards him, what not did me good in my situación.
It is a warm embrace hearing it from a human.
After pulling her out of my house with the help of a friend, who happens to be a lawer. By another lawer a friend of him, who is an expert and two cops, they saved me. It was such a shame, I am a big strong guy, but they sad I did it right. I was hardly able to phone my friend, she got one phone of mine and the keys of my house, car and motorbike.
I sad to her, there is nothing more you can do, accept it, even if I have to run naked to the police, I run much faster than you do, it's over for you. She kept in her delusional state of mind or should I say being.
This was 9 th febrero on valentín's day she «acused» me by texting, I «forgot» writing her¿?¿?¿
I kept the chanel open for evidence for a restraining order against her.
The material was suficiente. Now I changed my números.
Thank you desde Sudamérica
My narcissistic ex even filed a complain with the police that I went no contact. I was very surprised when the police came to my door. There were children involved and she used the kids to send the police to my door.
This video is the best synthesis of my experience with my ex narc girlfriend.
It was a nightmare … full of push and pull, gaslighting and confusion.
Thanks for reminding me 🙏🫶