+++ Every second you spend thinking about the next moment you avoid embracing the present. Ensure that your life is not spent living in your head. Learn new ways of moving past this situation: www.askanoushka.co.uk/coaching
The question I have having just gone through this is: is the narcissist doing what they do unconsciously or consciously? Do you actually know what they are doing is wrong or is it just normal to them?
@@joshuaanzalone2060 sure is ! Now I have to see them , but I look a different direction like they are not even there . The no contact and no reaction leaves them scrambled
@@Lenak2266 Jesus Christ helped me defeat the narcissist and now I help other men and women defeat them in the name of God. God bless you my mother and sister for doing God’s work truly I tell you God sees all and knows all. Amen. Love and abundance is coming your way in good Gods good name! Amen.🤲🏽🙏🏽❤️🔥🔥🩸
@@evangelistmondoPRAISE GOD!!! Thank you for helping others to be delivered!!! It took GOD'S HOLY SPIRIT TO RESCUE ME from the evil dragon that had bound my mind being!!!
His lies dishonesty! Broken promises! Lack of respect! Not understanding my boundaries! His cheating and ESPECIALLY the ON GOING LIES!!! That is REALLY REALLY BIG ISSUES WITH ME!!!
When dealing with a narcissist, it’s important to consider understanding the demon spirit behind the personality. The devil himself will always appear as an ‘angel of light’ before revealing that he has two horns and a pitch fork.
Demonic spirits are what rules their lives!!! Evil destruction is what they practice!!! Deceiving cunning schemes of harm and hurt and the pain they want to do to you!!!
I read somewhere on Quora the viewpoint of someone who called himself a narcissist but was having therapy allegedly and what he said was this: "After we devalue you we no longer care if you go silent or not because you are of no value anymore to us so we couldn't care less". Keep in mind that this comes from a narcissist so maybe it's just another blatant lie. My point is that we should also stop caring what the narcissist thinks, feels or does. We just have to move on after the initial shock of the realization that everything was based on an illusion.
So true, they don’t care about our silence, we never were important enough, in my case he was just interested in what he could get from me as financial security and comfort, but once he didn’t get it anymore, I don’t count, he doesn’t waste time thinking, he moves looking for the next supply. He doesn’t have the ability to reflect or feel, no contact is a mechanism to help ourselves, not to punish the narc.
@@fo3828 let nobody lie to you. They do care about that silence and it’s a blow/ injury to them. They will try everything just to get a reaction out of you. But keep your silence. It will kill them. No contact really works. Any response to them, let it be curse or yell is enough for them to have again under their control. So please don’t respond or react to whatever they say.
@@fo3828 I Totally agree with both possibilities, they could feel insulted or they wouldn't bother at all. But your last sentence was spot on, we don't care if they are punished or not... we want to save ourselves.
hearing from others, you're right; it can be a combo of both. For some, if you cause enough narc injury/go no contact correctly, they can think about you for YEARS. Not in a good way, of course, since they probably want to seek revenge or use it as a way to triangulate you and any new supplies. But they end up rationalizing that you were the villain all along to get rid of any guilt/shame. So it ultimately doesn't matter what they think and survivors should definitely stop caring
@@theafricanaquarian Yup! Couldn't agree with you more. They are going to try and get us to react. The lies, half truths - it's never ending. Nothing changes, even after the devaluation, ghosting for weeks, months, years and there's no closure. They will still come back (not in a good way). Go NO CONTACT and STAY NO CONTACT. Keep busy, heal, find a hobby, set goals and reach financial freedom, do something, anything but NEVER go back to their emotional torture chamber. There's no love, peace and happiness there.
I was the one who broke up with my ex (covert narcissist). The last time she was thrown out after a quarrel. 1,5 year later she tried to contact me...but was shut out with only one word: Goodbye! and I hung up on her. Since then I havent heard from her...and silence sure is a bliss :-) After I came out of the traumabond I realized that every day without her is a new day winning :-). I have started new education where I know I can develope myself in every way possible...and every day I get stronger. Life is again a gift every day :-)
My FRIEND!! You Sir..are talking my language and I instantly related to every last word of it! I recently ESCAPED mine a few weeks ago and the anger of being betrayed is what's been keeping at bay with the "no contact" thing. I know EXACTLY the kind of mentality you're talking about and yours is a very 'special' kind of PSYCHOTIC! I KNOW this type. The dangerous kind! We might be listening to all of these videos but you and I alone have a unique bond and I know you can feel it in your bones like I am right now. Dude, I would LOVE to talk "war stories" with you. I'm serious. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Hit me up, my brotha..
What goes around comes around. 5 months no contact. No supply here. In any way shape or form. He wanted me around for much longer. Lost his power and control when I took back my power and control. I thought I was the one with an attachment disorder - now realise that they have their own attachment disorder. Plus I realise he needed me. I don’t need the narcissist. I wanted him. There’s a real difference between need and want. I was his puppet, doormat and banker for almost 3 years. The trauma bond is hard to break but I’m determined to keep going.
I will be the best version of myself this demon will have her jaw dropped once manifestation sets in they love seeing you at your lowest I loved her at her lowest just the same and she causes the decline then discarded careful manipulation it’s so calculated
So true! My soon-to-be ex was a religious narc…an evangelist and also a pastor. He was also an alcoholic and LOVED being a so-called spiritual leader to everyone he met. 🙄 I protected his reputation not knowing what he was, and silently suffered for 19 years, until I had my awakening 13 months ago. My healing journey began and was on steroids when I discovered Biofield Tuning. He finally left almost 2 months ago because he couldn’t be around me in my newly healed state! 🤗
Mine "found god after, she told me in a text, followed by how evil for all that I did ...that was actually her who did those things that I was now going to hell by s surprisingly horific manner as her and Gods command (literaly in that order, btw) while she laughed in heaven.
@@Petesplayinagain They are so good at projecting. It sounds like she desperately wants you to think she has power over you. What they don’t realize is that we all reap whatever we sow, which is why they are miserable and tormented. Happy people don’t act like they do.
That's so true,my dad just recently passed,I got rid of a so called friend narcissist Dec 26 I finally told her she is a narcissist,she don't care who she hurts,she defame s everyone,she lies about everything,then I told her a stiff BYE,we have to heal,God bless you sweetheart 💕
These people are evil pure evil. The thought of someone you trusted cheating is disgusting love will win this battle focus on yourselves stay no contact and keep love in your heart guys
Ex narc discarded me 3 years ago and left me for new supply. New supply is also a narc and left him few months later and got engaged to someone else. Narc has been hoovering every year in the last 3 years and I made the mistake of responding last September. He has been hot and cold and I finally went back to no contact last week. It’s been hard, but he triggered my trauma again. I’m silent and no contact forever.
“If you are finding yourself feeling like you are being made to be responsible for making the other person happy, that’s a toxic relationship “-Steve Harvey
When you go no contact and silent it's a clear message to the Narcissist that you have dismissed them from your life period.. It's an invalidation of their existence ❤
Iv been no contact since Jan 3rd. I did walk away before Xmas but finally no contact. It really is so hard. I'm on my new journey of healing and finding who I am. Thank you for all the videos they help so much x
Congratulations on your strength for leaving. It’s gonna be hard a first but, go through the normal grieving process and get into therapy. Wake up everyday and tell yourself that you are strong, and you will be ok…Soon you will ruminate less, and feel back to yourself. Good luck and God bless❤
@@johnnyg2466Wow that made me just sink down in the guts. So sorry got you man, that would be crushing. I just couldn't believe it, wow that's so messed up. Hope your ok and have a good supports around you. Sending even more reinforced energy to you, need all the strength could get
In observation, of a narcissistic person...in silence we see truth....in this truth realized instantaneously, if we are aware, devoid of emotions, we sense ourselves. Don't give this away to anyone.....and see how you can protect yourself in realization and find quality people...who are people, not angry children in adult bodies.
It took such a long time to get him out of my head and heart but you are right, with him gone I could finally think about me and moving forward, not looking back.
@@deniseburg1460 when a thought of him came into my head I redirected my thinking to something else-anything else. Like I said it took a long time. Over 2 years but eventually I did realize I just didn’t have any headspace I wanted to give him anymore. You can do it too. Be strong 💪
Didn't really realize how powerful no contact was until I listened to yourself anoushka and many more great people who have experienced narcissistic abuse,hard when it's your close family but we have to do it or we suffer , great anoushka again top lady🌹
At the time, i hated how i would freeze up when my Narcissist partner would try and start drama with me. I would replay the scenarios in my head once it was over, wishing i could of said this or that to her. But my triggered nervous system completely numbed my mind and had my tongue tied. I can now see how this would of confused the Narcissist, when she expected me to fight back, but only received an unemotional poker face stare instead. This was completely unintentional and accidental. It's no wonder our relationship was short lived. She realised i was no longer a valued source of supply and couldn't be controlled. I now view my freeze trigger as a super power. A Narcissist repellent.
You are SO right. My ex already tried to create drama but I managed to bat it away without much reaction my end and keeping the silence going. Each day gets easier but silence was my punishment to control me for many years 🙄
@Elaine Keep strong and always remember how your Ex treated you!! This will also help you stay strong to stay safe, healthy and normal not being involved with the Narc/Ex !! You got this! I’m also married to a Narcissist for 3-decades and remembering all the things I’ve done and gone through is not something I would wish for anyone!! To painful and it’s still going on today/ Just doing me and I will be Free with Narc/ Hubby I always knew ( when or after I married) something wasn’t right with him and started to see him unwinding and coming unhinged was eye openings!! Majority of the eye openings of his actions, I made excuses for and thought it was a phase but when it started to happen and his rages and Abuse ( physical, mental, psychological, etc.) became to much I was in complete silence and hiding my life, marriage from others 😢 Keep moving forward and your rewards are you being in Control and Happy 👍🏼🙏🏼
Thank you. This is the first time in months that I don’t feel like a crazy person for being trapped in something with someone who doesn’t even really want me, but who only drags me along for the ride. I’ve listened to a lot of your videos tonight and there has been a weight lifted off of me. I feel the freedom coming into me from your words. Ty Ty Ty
You are very accurate! Going through the exact thing now, he is constantly messaging me and iv given him no contact no replies, not to hurt him but mainly for myself. I can see he is reacting to this by being persistent and making out to everyone he is depressed without me. He discarded me during my pregnancy and that’s something I can never forgive. Thank you for your advise which is always on time ❤
Thank you for this one Anoushka , hit the target bullseye 😄 now I've become a bit of an expert myself and now I see narc traits in so many people and family members it's quite scary lol
Today is the first day in 6 weeks of no contact with it being over Christmas, it solidavises my decision, it the first day where I feel the fog lifting, ,. Lil by lil it gets easier.
I stayed too long with that demonic spirit & and not accepting what he truly was . I m getting through the process of forgiving myself & getting stronger every day. Thanking God for strength 🙏🏾 .
Thank you so much for this video. Went NC almost 2 months now. Some days I am not good and some days I am better. Today wasn’t a good day. I will be rewatching this on my “bad” days. Thank you so much….
It took me 68 days and nights ,, she received her papers Tuesday ,, everyday it gets better ,, I don’t want her to talk to me , see me or think of me , she just needs to sign the papers , and she can go back with who she was with the fist 34 days of this ordeal ..
No contact so far has been easy. I just remember how they gave up on me and us and couldnt even have an open conversation. They didnt care to fight for the friendship. Time for me to give up on them. Oh well. Let them care or not. Who knows. Staying no contact.
That’s what I did I tried to stay friends of some sort and he was more awful to me than when we were in a relationship . I had enough and silenced everything and will never offer anything to him again I tried but he couldn’t even carry on a conversation on the phone he resorted to text but were only none or two words
Thanks I needed to hear this it will be a year this March when I was assaulted by that Narc the process of bringing charges against him failed and he still had the nerve to try an contact me after that but I decided to go No contact but I’m still anger at times for what he did to me but over all I’m doing well.
I haven’t spoken to him since August, and longer it’s going it’s easier. But I actually thought that now he must be happier that I don’t talk to him because before it looked so painful to reply to my messages, or he even didn’t. So I thought hd is happy now.
Anoushka....Thankyou so much for your amazing insight....after watching many others explain narcissism, no-one has your grasp...Thanks for saving me....❤
Right...and I have been trying to cope while I have to live with the narc...you are especially one that I follow on this epidemic, and you have been a Godsend..thankyou
Your videos have been a wealth of information and comfort in learning about why my wife recently did what she did and how this was so easy for her to do. It's giving me the closure I need to move on and get this out of my head and into my past. Thank you so much!!!
Thank you so much for the awesome video. I am currently going no contact. Yes, its been difficult. It's getting easier with each day. Peace, Love, and Power!
I appreciate videos like this. Trauma bonding is being reassessed every minute in my brain. This helps me unravel the brainwashing I've experienced since I was a child. Thank you for rephrasing the basic message of a narc ❤
So Sad. Hurt People Hurt People . This Episode is so Informative. I Feel Sorry for People Who Use Other People for no Valid Reason. Please get the Help you Need and Stop Hurting other People 😔🙏
It’s called taking your power back this leaves the narcissist vulnerable without the control they had they feel very hurt some lash with anger or violence continue to distance from them according
I have stayed hidden under a rock as much as possible from him. He's blocked and deleted in every way possible (including "mutual friends"). He expects me to be too emotionally damaged to move on from him, while he has his fun with the new girlfriend- blah blah (and that's exactly what it is) but he doesn't realize is that I am not who HE wants me to be, I am who I want to be. He is a trashy conman. I am not, and I will have no parts of that unnecessary drama and negativity in my space. Let the smear campaign continue because I will gladly give him a reason not to like me 😊💯❤️💪
My ex narc tried to hoover me for 3 weeks (after we had been no contact for 4 months) and I took the bait with caution but eventually I emailed him saying I'm interested in a relationship down the line but I think we should take it slow and I asked him to work on getting healthy. (He had talked openly about his mental health being the reason for his relationships failing, so I thought we were on the same page about this). Almost immediately after sending the email he started pulling back until 2 weeks later he emailed me saying he didn't think a relationship was right for us but he wanted to remain friends. I immediately blocked and unfriended him on everything and have been no contact since (it's been a month). A day later I found out he was back with his previous supply, the girl he left me for after the last discard. I'm left wondering if my email was a blow to his ego and he knew he couldn't deliver what I was asking of him so he knew he had to end it, and he needed a supply that he knew he had a better chance of manipulating. I'm wondering if he was genuinely hoping that we could be friends, and if he actually cares that I went no contact. I guess I'll never know.
@@flyawaybutterflyhealingchannel yup. and mind you during this 3 week hoover he was love bombing me and pursuing me in every way. kissing me, holding hands constantly, calling me for hours every night, talking about the future. and then one day nope never mind let’s just be friend and actually i’m gonna start love bombing someone else now. these people are truly sick and operate on a nonhuman level
At the moment he has a better supply, a supply that has no idea of toxic people. He will hoover you again, when he‘s bored. It‘s up to you to take another round. Block him forever and give yourself a chance to heal and having a real, stabel & honest relationship….not a relationshit👌
To him your email was too lukewarm. He wanted you jumping all in without him doing the work you suggested on himself. The ex (friend) was an easier target he’d kept around because Narcs are crippling co-dependents whose only goal in life is supply. Sadly, they’re selfish & only care about themselves and no one else. That Narc is a TOTAL toxic waste of time. Stay No Contact. Blessings 🌸
@@BrendaBaBoom It’s so sad, because the email was truly meant to have the opposite intention as how he probably took it. He even called me right after he got it and said “your email was so sweet and thoughtful and I want to respond to it as soon as I have a chance to sit down and come up with a thoughtful response.” But clearly the more he sat on it he probably realized he couldn’t come up with that response and had to run instead.
Just substitute the silence with other activities of interest like hobbies or even meeting other people. Just do that and find freedom in the choices of your interest.
I had to remove the drama, chaos and walking on eggshells brought on by the narc..... I have peace. But im lonely. Im alone in this country, no friends. I have no support system.
When you describe the Narcissist need for validation, what kind of validation are they seeking? Is it acknowledgement, feeling seen and heard, etc. It seems that we provide the Narcissist validation all the time and they take it for granted or even abuse. Do they even know what they want. Would you consider doing a video which describes the notion of validation and emotion that the Narcisist seeks and why they work so hard to gain someone who provides them with attention to throw it all away.
Narcs are extremely contradictory in nature. I wouldnt go so deep in trying to figure out there schizophrenic core. It will more than likely make you infected with their crazy and you will start to show signs yourself. It's a real thing. They need constant validation adoration and such. I had to remove myself once her my ex narc became extremely manipulative for months. It was hell. And it was all to recieve SUPPLY and emotional access. She went as far as to fake cancer. Among other crazy. Just get as far from them as possible. They change relationships faster than they will ever change themselves past creating a new mask for new supply. Save yourself or risk going to an abyss that is really difficult to recover from.
It's easy for me to go contact. It takes her about 2-3 days to reach out to me. She says, "Where have you been? I haven't heard from you in a while. Why don't you call me anymore"? I call her back in about 2-4 hours, she asks me where I've been? I just tell her I've been busy. She's so happy to hear from me. We'll talk for hours and do video chat. It works every time. If I start calling her first and she starts becoming distant to me then I just go back to 'no contact'. I really hate doing it but it's the only way to keep her interested in me. 🤔
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
+++ Every second you spend thinking about the next moment you avoid embracing the present. Ensure that your life is not spent living in your head. Learn new ways of moving past this situation: www.askanoushka.co.uk/coaching
🌟
The question I have having just gone through this is: is the narcissist doing what they do unconsciously or consciously? Do you actually know what they are doing is wrong or is it just normal to them?
@@MegaRockstar48they are calculating demons!
Narcissists probably don't like it when you go quiet because then they don't know how to manipulate you next
They Will stalk you
“For they cannot rest until they do evil; they are robbed of sleep till they make someone stumble.”
Proverbs 4:16 NIV
@@Queen1111sunshine oh yes. The stalking is mental
@@evangelistmondothis was deep. Thank you for sharing
You rob them of the info they might need to hear to feel like you're doing poorly without them.
Without any information, they can't control the outcome.
Yes!
That's right real healing.
@@joshuaanzalone2060 sure is ! Now I have to see them , but I look a different direction like they are not even there . The no contact and no reaction leaves them scrambled
👍
Fortune cookie in the mind during sleep amd he just knows everything
Silence is the best reply to a fool ❤
“For they cannot rest until they do evil; they are robbed of sleep till they make someone stumble.”
Proverbs 4:16 NIV
🕊🙏
@@Lenak2266 Jesus Christ helped me defeat the narcissist and now I help other men and women defeat them in the name of God. God bless you my mother and sister for doing God’s work truly I tell you God sees all and knows all. Amen. Love and abundance is coming your way in good Gods good name! Amen.🤲🏽🙏🏽❤️🔥🔥🩸
@@evangelistmondoPRAISE GOD!!! Thank you for helping others to be delivered!!! It took GOD'S HOLY SPIRIT TO RESCUE ME from the evil dragon that had bound my mind being!!!
@@evangelistmondoYes GOD KEEPS GOOD RECORDS!!! He is MY Deliverance and My Advenger!!! IN THE PRECIOUS Name OF JESUS!!! AMEN!!!
Your silence is the true discard.
Amen 🙏
When the tables turn…….
Amen 🙏
Yes It's A TRUE FACT TO YOU TOTALLY DISCARDING THEM!! Especially A MALE!!! IT DEMINISHES THEIR EGO'S SO SEVERLY.
His lies dishonesty! Broken promises! Lack of respect! Not understanding my boundaries! His cheating and ESPECIALLY the ON GOING LIES!!! That is REALLY REALLY BIG ISSUES WITH ME!!!
When dealing with a narcissist, it’s important to consider understanding the demon spirit behind the personality. The devil himself will always appear as an ‘angel of light’ before revealing that he has two horns and a pitch fork.
🕊
Yes they are wolves in sheep's clothing!!!
Demonic spirits are what rules their lives!!! Evil destruction is what they practice!!! Deceiving cunning schemes of harm and hurt and the pain they want to do to you!!!
I read somewhere on Quora the viewpoint of someone who called himself a narcissist but was having therapy allegedly and what he said was this: "After we devalue you we no longer care if you go silent or not because you are of no value anymore to us so we couldn't care less". Keep in mind that this comes from a narcissist so maybe it's just another blatant lie. My point is that we should also stop caring what the narcissist thinks, feels or does. We just have to move on after the initial shock of the realization that everything was based on an illusion.
So true, they don’t care about our silence, we never were important enough, in my case he was just interested in what he could get from me as financial security and comfort, but once he didn’t get it anymore, I don’t count, he doesn’t waste time thinking, he moves looking for the next supply. He doesn’t have the ability to reflect or feel, no contact is a mechanism to help ourselves, not to punish the narc.
@@fo3828 let nobody lie to you. They do care about that silence and it’s a blow/ injury to them. They will try everything just to get a reaction out of you. But keep your silence. It will kill them. No contact really works. Any response to them, let it be curse or yell is enough for them to have again under their control. So please don’t respond or react to whatever they say.
@@fo3828 I Totally agree with both possibilities, they could feel insulted or they wouldn't bother at all. But your last sentence was spot on, we don't care if they are punished or not... we want to save ourselves.
hearing from others, you're right; it can be a combo of both. For some, if you cause enough narc injury/go no contact correctly, they can think about you for YEARS. Not in a good way, of course, since they probably want to seek revenge or use it as a way to triangulate you and any new supplies. But they end up rationalizing that you were the villain all along to get rid of any guilt/shame. So it ultimately doesn't matter what they think and survivors should definitely stop caring
@@theafricanaquarian Yup! Couldn't agree with you more.
They are going to try and get us to react. The lies, half truths - it's never ending. Nothing changes, even after the devaluation, ghosting for weeks, months, years and there's no closure. They will still come back (not in a good way).
Go NO CONTACT and STAY NO CONTACT. Keep busy, heal, find a hobby, set goals and reach financial freedom, do something, anything but NEVER go back to their emotional torture chamber.
There's no love, peace and happiness there.
I was the one who broke up with my ex (covert narcissist). The last time she was thrown out after a quarrel. 1,5 year later she tried to contact me...but was shut out with only one word: Goodbye! and I hung up on her. Since then I havent heard from her...and silence sure is a bliss :-) After I came out of the traumabond I realized that every day without her is a new day winning :-). I have started new education where I know I can develope myself in every way possible...and every day I get stronger. Life is again a gift every day :-)
I hope to get there. Threw my covert narcissist ex out.
My FRIEND!! You Sir..are talking my language and I instantly related to every last word of it! I recently ESCAPED mine a few weeks ago and the anger of being betrayed is what's been keeping at bay with the "no contact" thing. I know EXACTLY the kind of mentality you're talking about and yours is a very 'special' kind of PSYCHOTIC! I KNOW this type. The dangerous kind! We might be listening to all of these videos but you and I alone have a unique bond and I know you can feel it in your bones like I am right now. Dude, I would LOVE to talk "war stories" with you. I'm serious. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Hit me up, my brotha..
What goes around comes around. 5 months no contact. No supply here. In any way shape or form. He wanted me around for much longer. Lost his power and control when I took back my power and control. I thought I was the one with an attachment disorder - now realise that they have their own attachment disorder. Plus I realise he needed me. I don’t need the narcissist. I wanted him. There’s a real difference between need and want. I was his puppet, doormat and banker for almost 3 years. The trauma bond is hard to break but I’m determined to keep going.
Don't let them going to church change your mind. Demons are seeking supply, what better place.
I will be the best version of myself this demon will have her jaw dropped once manifestation sets in they love seeing you at your lowest I loved her at her lowest just the same and she causes the decline then discarded careful manipulation it’s so calculated
Haha
So true! My soon-to-be ex was a religious narc…an evangelist and also a pastor. He was also an alcoholic and LOVED being a so-called spiritual leader to everyone he met. 🙄
I protected his reputation not knowing what he was, and silently suffered for 19 years, until I had my awakening 13 months ago. My healing journey began and was on steroids when I discovered Biofield Tuning. He finally left almost 2 months ago because he couldn’t be around me in my newly healed state! 🤗
Mine "found god after, she told me in a text, followed by how evil for all that I did ...that was actually her who did those things that I was now going to hell by s surprisingly horific manner as her and Gods command (literaly in that order, btw) while she laughed in heaven.
@@Petesplayinagain They are so good at projecting. It sounds like she desperately wants you to think she has power over you. What they don’t realize is that we all reap whatever we sow, which is why they are miserable and tormented. Happy people don’t act like they do.
Actually, silence has restored a lot of peace, and has given me the space I need to mourn the loss of my mother.
That's so true,my dad just recently passed,I got rid of a so called friend narcissist Dec 26 I finally told her she is a narcissist,she don't care who she hurts,she defame s everyone,she lies about everything,then I told her a stiff BYE,we have to heal,God bless you sweetheart 💕
These people are evil pure evil. The thought of someone you trusted cheating is disgusting love will win this battle focus on yourselves stay no contact and keep love in your heart guys
Ex narc discarded me 3 years ago and left me for new supply. New supply is also a narc and left him few months later and got engaged to someone else. Narc has been hoovering every year in the last 3 years and I made the mistake of responding last September. He has been hot and cold and I finally went back to no contact last week. It’s been hard, but he triggered my trauma again. I’m silent and no contact forever.
All I can send is positive energy, stay strong when you can
Sorry. It horrible feeling. But they don't change. Please protect yourself
“If you are finding yourself feeling like you are being made to be responsible for making the other person happy, that’s a toxic relationship “-Steve Harvey
After a lot of breakdowns - I had no choice / I broke the trauma bond and practicing self care - Nicole Ireland 🇮🇪 thank you 🙏
The trauma bond is awful to come to terms with and get over. Took me a long long time. Ryan, Northern Ireland.
Wish I could break the trauma bond
As the old saying says, silence is golden .
I blocked and deleted my narc ex's number .
Moving forward to positive outcomes.
When you go no contact and silent it's a clear message to the Narcissist that you have dismissed them from your life period.. It's an invalidation of their existence ❤
Silence. Not even a social media presence. Diving deep. Peace. Learning. Bliss.
I found it to be extremely easy. When I know who you are it's game over.
Exactly! And what on earth can you even talk about with a narc anyway!!
Kat nothing I have nothing to say to her or to talk with other narcs.
I found it easy to, out of sight out of mind works well for me
Iv been no contact since Jan 3rd. I did walk away before Xmas but finally no contact. It really is so hard. I'm on my new journey of healing and finding who I am. Thank you for all the videos they help so much x
Wish you all the best
Remember your not alone
And better off
Congratulations on your strength for leaving. It’s gonna be hard a first but, go through the normal grieving process and get into therapy. Wake up everyday and tell yourself that you are strong, and you will be ok…Soon you will ruminate less, and feel back to yourself. Good luck and God bless❤
Stay strong, each day is hard but the steps to recovery have to be taken 1 at a time. Holdfast, stand firm 💪. Almost 2 weeks here
im right there with you my ex aborted my baby on christmas eve and i found out about her cheating with her ex on new years , crushed me
@@johnnyg2466Wow that made me just sink down in the guts. So sorry got you man, that would be crushing. I just couldn't believe it, wow that's so messed up. Hope your ok and have a good supports around you. Sending even more reinforced energy to you, need all the strength could get
In observation, of a narcissistic person...in silence we see truth....in this truth realized instantaneously, if we are aware, devoid of emotions, we sense ourselves.
Don't give this away to anyone.....and see how you can protect yourself in realization and find quality people...who are people, not angry children in adult bodies.
ain't that the truth! ✌️😊
It took such a long time to get him out of my head and heart but you are right, with him gone I could finally think about me and moving forward, not looking back.
How did you do it?😢
@@deniseburg1460 when a thought of him came into my head I redirected my thinking to something else-anything else. Like I said it took a long time. Over 2 years but eventually I did realize I just didn’t have any headspace I wanted to give him anymore.
You can do it too. Be strong 💪
@@loriderewitz7213 thank you
its not Hard to go silent when you finally understand your being abused, GREY ROCK ALL THE WAY!!!!!!
Didn't really realize how powerful no contact was until I listened to yourself anoushka and many more great people who have experienced narcissistic abuse,hard when it's your close family but we have to do it or we suffer , great anoushka again top lady🌹
James, N🚫 Contact is a superpower.
Knowing THIS, was what motivated me, and still does, to keep up the no contact 👊🙏💪Your silence speeks volumes!!!
Love this video 🙏🩷🙏
I believe that if they have(and since it’s usually the case) other supplies,they don’t care about losing you
If you slip up don't beat yourself up, just reset the clock and trust that you'll do better this time
At the time, i hated how i would freeze up when my Narcissist partner would try and start drama with me. I would replay the scenarios in my head once it was over, wishing i could of said this or that to her. But my triggered nervous system completely numbed my mind and had my tongue tied. I can now see how this would of confused the Narcissist, when she expected me to fight back, but only received an unemotional poker face stare instead. This was completely unintentional and accidental. It's no wonder our relationship was short lived. She realised i was no longer a valued source of supply and couldn't be controlled. I now view my freeze trigger as a super power. A Narcissist repellent.
Thanks for sharing this video!
No contact and keep silence:
Focus on your healing!
You are SO right. My ex already tried to create drama but I managed to bat it away without much reaction my end and keeping the silence going. Each day gets easier but silence was my punishment to control me for many years 🙄
@Elaine
Keep strong and always remember how your Ex treated you!! This will also help you stay strong to stay safe, healthy and normal not being involved with the Narc/Ex !! You got this!
I’m also married to a Narcissist for 3-decades and remembering all the things I’ve done and gone through is not something I would wish for anyone!! To painful and it’s still going on today/ Just doing me and I will be Free with Narc/ Hubby
I always knew ( when or after I married) something wasn’t right with him and started to see him unwinding and coming unhinged was eye openings!! Majority of the eye openings of his actions, I made excuses for and thought it was a phase but when it started to happen and his rages and Abuse ( physical, mental, psychological, etc.) became to much
I was in complete silence and hiding my life, marriage from others 😢
Keep moving forward and your rewards are you being in Control and Happy 👍🏼🙏🏼
Chin
I hope your not involved with a Narcissist!?
Good luck, stay well
You have helped me see truth and heal. Thanks doesn’t cover my gratitude. I knew nothing about Narcissism 6 weeks ago when I found your help. 🙏🙏🙏
Yes she is the greatest
I will never be...the punching bag again to a alcoholic narcissist !!
9:30
Exactly. The whole relationship with them is like walking alone in a sandstorm desert . You can only see the truth clearly after you moved on.
Absolutely true!
Yes. Silence is power.
Thank you. This is the first time in months that I don’t feel like a crazy person for being trapped in something with someone who doesn’t even really want me, but who only drags me along for the ride.
I’ve listened to a lot of your videos tonight and there has been a weight lifted off of me. I feel the freedom coming into me from your words. Ty Ty Ty
You are very accurate! Going through the exact thing now, he is constantly messaging me and iv given him no contact no replies, not to hurt him but mainly for myself. I can see he is reacting to this by being persistent and making out to everyone he is depressed without me. He discarded me during my pregnancy and that’s something I can never forgive. Thank you for your advise which is always on time ❤
INFORMATION for the Narc is very vital and you best believe they plan to benefit fully from using it against you
Thank you for this one Anoushka , hit the target bullseye 😄 now I've become a bit of an expert myself and now I see narc traits in so many people and family members it's quite scary lol
Know what is even scarier? A 9 female narc. Out of control. Its an epidemic. Instagram has everything to do with it.
I AGREE, NOW THAT I'VE HEARD ABOUT NARCISSIS & LEARNED MORE PEOPLE THAN I KNEW ARE NARC & YES IT IS SCARY!
Remember EVERYONE has a Narc trait or two, but someone with NPD is a whole other story
@@LMA7706 YOU HAVE A POINT, I'VE SAID THE SAME THING! 🤔
@LMA7706 yeah true
..but they're pro manipulators...some even admit it.
Shh! Be quiet. Don't talk. Don't react it's what they want. Take you'r control back.
Today is the first day in 6 weeks of no contact with it being over Christmas, it solidavises my decision, it the first day where I feel the fog lifting, ,. Lil by lil it gets easier.
Thank you!
Yes, it's good. It's so great to stay NO CONTACT.
The narcissist has no shame .
There are times when I feel like your channel saves my life - this is one of them. Thank you!
Thank you i am going threw this right now.
I stayed too long with that demonic spirit & and not accepting what he truly was . I m getting through the process of forgiving myself & getting stronger every day. Thanking God for strength 🙏🏾 .
I must say, I loved the way you present and explain everything.
Bless you Anoushka
Thank you so much for this video. Went NC almost 2 months now. Some days I am not good and some days I am better. Today wasn’t a good day. I will be rewatching this on my “bad” days. Thank you so much….
It took me 68 days and nights ,, she received her papers Tuesday ,, everyday it gets better ,, I don’t want her to talk to me , see me or think of me , she just needs to sign the papers , and she can go back with who she was with the fist 34 days of this ordeal ..
My husband watches your channel. He likes learning new torture.
No contact so far has been easy. I just remember how they gave up on me and us and couldnt even have an open conversation. They didnt care to fight for the friendship. Time for me to give up on them. Oh well. Let them care or not. Who knows. Staying no contact.
That’s what I did I tried to stay friends of some sort and he was more awful to me than when we were in a relationship .
I had enough and silenced everything and will never offer anything to him again
I tried but he couldn’t even carry on a conversation on the phone he resorted to text but were only none or two words
Thanks I needed to hear this it will be a year this March when I was assaulted by that Narc the process of bringing charges against him failed and he still had the nerve to try an contact me after that but I decided to go No contact but I’m still anger at times for what he did to me but over all I’m doing well.
I haven’t spoken to him since August, and longer it’s going it’s easier. But I actually thought that now he must be happier that I don’t talk to him because before it looked so painful to reply to my messages, or he even didn’t. So I thought hd is happy now.
Silence is difficult as effective communication is the hope of ending toxicity
Truly love with the compassion u speak to us. And without judgement. Truly appreciate all that u do for us.
Anoushka....Thankyou so much for your amazing insight....after watching many others explain narcissism, no-one has your grasp...Thanks for saving me....❤
This lady does a great job and is very accurate
Except Just because they can
That's FUCKING SICK
All NARCS ENJOY HURTING YOU EX BY
THROWINGYOU OUT ON STREETS FOR NO REASON
It's about The Good
The BAD
The UGLY
This beautiful woman is the best...
Right...and I have been trying to cope while I have to live with the narc...you are especially one that I follow on this epidemic, and you have been a Godsend..thankyou
Call Back your power! Call back your energy❤
Watching these videos gives me strength..wish I would of kept my mouth shut several months ago 🙃 thanks!!
You are now that’s all the matters
Hope you are still doing well😊
What a wonderful reminder video. Thank you!!!
Your videos have been a wealth of information and comfort in learning about why my wife recently did what she did and how this was so easy for her to do. It's giving me the closure I need to move on and get this out of my head and into my past. Thank you so much!!!
Thank you for your words...it felt very incouraging❤ thank you thank you.❤
This video has helped me immensely to cope between a parent and ex-spouse relationships . . .this has hit my inner-core . . .
Thank you so much for the awesome video.
I am currently going no contact. Yes, its been difficult. It's getting easier with each day.
Peace, Love, and Power!
Gone silent, and it helped. Thanks
Terrific video. Wish I had seen this a year ago!
I appreciate videos like this. Trauma bonding is being reassessed every minute in my brain. This helps me unravel the brainwashing I've experienced since I was a child. Thank you for rephrasing the basic message of a narc ❤
You did great job 👍 thank u!❤️.. definitely right move!
Very well said, sadly so true.
So Sad. Hurt People Hurt People . This Episode is so Informative. I Feel Sorry for People Who Use Other People for no Valid Reason. Please get the Help you Need and Stop Hurting other People 😔🙏
Thanks!
Thank you 😊
Thank you
It’s called taking your power back this leaves the narcissist vulnerable without the control they had they feel very hurt some lash with anger or violence continue to distance from them according
Your right and it had been up til the moment now! And she’s tearing herself into shreds trying to keep up the facade.
Its good thry keep silence i love it now.and i love to bé alone its a gift
I like thatyou say" detachment disorder ",
Its TOTALLY TRUE!!
More psychologist s oughta start that description instead.
May God bless you.. always..always.. i can see that you are really committed to help.. thank youu🙏
Thank you so much ❤
Thank you for your videos they have really helped me I've been in no contact and definitely will continue I feel so much better God bless you.
I have stayed hidden under a rock as much as possible from him. He's blocked and deleted in every way possible (including "mutual friends"). He expects me to be too emotionally damaged to move on from him, while he has his fun with the new girlfriend- blah blah (and that's exactly what it is) but he doesn't realize is that I am not who HE wants me to be, I am who I want to be. He is a trashy conman. I am not, and I will have no parts of that unnecessary drama and negativity in my space. Let the smear campaign continue because I will gladly give him a reason not to like me 😊💯❤️💪
congratulations 🎈🎊🎉🍾 ❤😇🆙🙏
Thank you! You are a gem.
God bless you.
My ex narc tried to hoover me for 3 weeks (after we had been no contact for 4 months) and I took the bait with caution but eventually I emailed him saying I'm interested in a relationship down the line but I think we should take it slow and I asked him to work on getting healthy. (He had talked openly about his mental health being the reason for his relationships failing, so I thought we were on the same page about this). Almost immediately after sending the email he started pulling back until 2 weeks later he emailed me saying he didn't think a relationship was right for us but he wanted to remain friends. I immediately blocked and unfriended him on everything and have been no contact since (it's been a month). A day later I found out he was back with his previous supply, the girl he left me for after the last discard. I'm left wondering if my email was a blow to his ego and he knew he couldn't deliver what I was asking of him so he knew he had to end it, and he needed a supply that he knew he had a better chance of manipulating. I'm wondering if he was genuinely hoping that we could be friends, and if he actually cares that I went no contact. I guess I'll never know.
Samw exact thing here....sick. no u cant be friends. He is w someone else
@@flyawaybutterflyhealingchannel yup. and mind you during this 3 week hoover he was love bombing me and pursuing me in every way. kissing me, holding hands constantly, calling me for hours every night, talking about the future. and then one day nope never mind let’s just be friend and actually i’m gonna start love bombing someone else now. these people are truly sick and operate on a nonhuman level
At the moment he has a better supply, a supply that has no idea of toxic people. He will hoover you again, when he‘s bored.
It‘s up to you to take another round. Block him forever and give yourself a chance to heal and having a real, stabel & honest relationship….not a relationshit👌
To him your email was too lukewarm.
He wanted you jumping all in without him doing the work you suggested on himself. The ex (friend) was an easier target he’d kept around because Narcs are crippling co-dependents whose only goal in life is supply. Sadly, they’re selfish & only care about themselves and no one else. That Narc is a TOTAL toxic waste of time. Stay No Contact. Blessings 🌸
@@BrendaBaBoom It’s so sad, because the email was truly meant to have the opposite intention as how he probably took it. He even called me right after he got it and said “your email was so sweet and thoughtful and I want to respond to it as soon as I have a chance to sit down and come up with a thoughtful response.” But clearly the more he sat on it he probably realized he couldn’t come up with that response and had to run instead.
You're the best therapist ever!
Thank you Anna
Made the mistake of sending them a card advising them to get help. Wow!!!
You really explain it so perfectly very empowering thank you for sharing your wisdom on these damaged entities
Thank you so much
Thank You Anoushka.
Just substitute the silence with other activities of interest like hobbies or even meeting other people. Just do that and find freedom in the choices of your interest.
She sent a vicious insulting text! Then said she loved me but was not in love with me! I have gone no contact !
Silence is our power😊😊
Thank You !
Yes 🙌 u are right ...thkq for being truthfully honest . I wish I have learnt it much earlier ...is awakening call nevertheless :-)
I had to remove the drama, chaos and walking on eggshells brought on by the narc..... I have peace. But im lonely. Im alone in this country, no friends. I have no support system.
I was blamed on everything under the sun put all over Facebook but I didn't say a word it hurts but it has to be done stay strong 💪
When you describe the Narcissist need for validation, what kind of validation are they seeking? Is it acknowledgement, feeling seen and heard, etc. It seems that we provide the Narcissist validation all the time and they take it for granted or even abuse. Do they even know what they want. Would you consider doing a video which describes the notion of validation and emotion that the Narcisist seeks and why they work so hard to gain someone who provides them with attention to throw it all away.
Narcs are extremely contradictory in nature. I wouldnt go so deep in trying to figure out there schizophrenic core. It will more than likely make you infected with their crazy and you will start to show signs yourself. It's a real thing.
They need constant validation adoration and such. I had to remove myself once her my ex narc became extremely manipulative for months. It was hell. And it was all to recieve SUPPLY and emotional access. She went as far as to fake cancer. Among other crazy. Just get as far from them as possible. They change relationships faster than they will ever change themselves past creating a new mask for new supply.
Save yourself or risk going to an abyss that is really difficult to recover from.
They get bored easily with people
It's easy for me to go contact. It takes her about 2-3 days to reach out to me. She says, "Where have you been? I haven't heard from you in a while. Why don't you call me anymore"?
I call her back in about 2-4 hours, she asks me where I've been? I just tell her I've been busy. She's so happy to hear from me. We'll talk for hours and do video chat.
It works every time. If I start calling her first and she starts becoming distant to me then I just go back to 'no contact'.
I really hate doing it but it's the only way to keep her interested in me. 🤔
Psalms 37:27
27 Turn your back on evil, work for the good and don't quit.