Chemo Damaged My Intelligence, My Struggle and How I'm Managing It

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 65

  • @maelgorth
    @maelgorth 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I finished treatment in 2019 and didn't have any terrible physical effects. I wouldn't get nauseous or anything but a year later I definitely feel more slow mentally. I still forget common words and stop halfway through my sentences. It feels like a trade off of 'no physical effects but you get the mental effects'. I'm taking a break by dropping a class since I wasn't learning - I think I should be easier on myself because of what I went through. And the same goes for everyone else who is feeling stressed out - we've all been through a lot.
    I watched your videos before I was diagnosed with cancer (but I sorta knew) and just having these videos up to watch and relate with someone is really helpful. Thank you.

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks so much for sharing, Elizabeth. You have no idea how much it warms my heart that my videos have been helpful to you.
      So glad to hear you have finished and didn't have terrible physical effects. The mental slowness we experience sucks so much. :( Take a break, recovery is a long road (as much as I was and still am trying to fast track it), and practice a lot of self-compassion. Focusing on what we can control keeps us sane. Ugh but I feel you... I feel you so much and I often struggle to practice the things I've just written.

    • @jayjunior2023
      @jayjunior2023 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@isendathinks7588you still with us? Can I ask what you did for your diet. I caN fix you up for free guarantee it

  • @teamellie648
    @teamellie648 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I know exactly what you’re going through! My friends in my maths class can do maths problems so much more quickly than me, and I end up making mistakes trying to catch up with them. But I’ve realised that intelligence isn’t defined by the speed that you do things. Just listening to you explaining this topic so coherently instils the fact that you ARE intelligent! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, ❤️

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thanks, Team Ellie. Very sweet words. You're exactly right. Intelligence isn't defined just by the speed you do things. There are so many ways intelligence can show itself. I hope you're well!

  • @djxoxo1717
    @djxoxo1717 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow, I just found your channel and I am going through watching all your videos. I am 8 months out from my last chemo and can totally relate to everything you are saying. Its really hard to struggle with both the anxiety side of things and also feeling like you aren't as sharp as we once were. I'm a few weeks away from finishing my degree off and I don't even know if I can do my job properly which is so disappointing when I have worked for so long toward this goal to have it taken away by cancer. You seem so insightful, hoping that everything is going well for you and things keep getting better every day

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey there. Thanks so much for sharing this DJ Xoxo. It has made me smile! I am so sorry you have gone through something similar but it is nice to know my videos have been helpful and we're not alone in our suffering. I still struggle with fatigue, mental slowness and anxiety but things have gotten better with time and practice and grit. I also have adjusted my expectations and am a recovering perfectionist haha. Please give me an update on how you have been doing!

  • @nnicollan
    @nnicollan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Judging by your analysis you're still very intelligent :--)

  • @larrybates4925
    @larrybates4925 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I am not sure if intelligence is affected. I was in therapy and a Masters degree program at the same time. I agree with the speed issues and the amount of time needed to solve problems taking longer. Drs tried to treat me for ADHD with meds but it didnt help. Being two years post treatment I was told my chemo brain would probably not get better
    I have been working word puzzles etc...that are timed to help with my speed. You are very intelligent and I believe you can retrain your brain to solve issues faster. Hang in there! You are not alone!

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey, Larry. The thing is that working memory speed and processing speed are components of general IQ. Not the only components or necessarily the most important but they help make up someone's intelligence. But I agree, other aspects of my intelligence have not been affected. It's just speed and working memory. But it still hurts to have those impacted negatively. :( Interesting... why did the doctors try to treat you for ADHD with meds? Did they think it might help you think faster? Yup I've been working on retraining my brain but it's a really steep hill with working memory exercises! Thanks for commenting, Larry. Take care.

    • @larrybates4925
      @larrybates4925 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@isendathinks7588 I told them about not being to prioritize or even concentrate on how to begin. So the doctor thought he would try the the ADHD meds and they didnt help.

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mmmm... That's a shame. Good to know though.

  • @aremedyproject9569
    @aremedyproject9569 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Capacity feels reduced. Chemo does affect our brains. The cancer experience burden does take up a lot of RAM too. I guess some is made up for by grit and from that we learn about resilience. The loneliness of the process is part of it. Your videos are so insightful. So very helpful too. You’re very generous to take the time and thought to produce them and I hope you get something for yourself out of doing so. I admire your skill and intelligence. You’re very special.☺️

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Capacity definitely feels reduced. I love your description - "The cancer experience burden does take up a lot of RAM too". I agree with this 100% and love the analogy. Thank you so much, A Remedy Project, for your kind words. I'm glad that my videos help you. It does take a significant part of my brain space (and schedule) to keep making them while working and studying but I know it helps me and helps others. I hope you're well and take care.

    • @wendywhoisit1819
      @wendywhoisit1819 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      A Remedy Project - I don't know anything about you, yet I love you so much.

  • @Ladybug-uf7uh
    @Ladybug-uf7uh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    From your first video to this one, yes. There is something different about you. However, have you thought about the harrowing experience, the trauma, even the post traumatic stress you are experiencing, are part of the changed you? And change happens to us all. You have been through hell. You talked in your first video about the trauma of the bronchoscopy: do you really thing you just walk away from something like that with no effect? And that was just one thing you went through in your journey. There is no denying that chemo has side effects on the brain, when such powerful meds cross the brain barrier. You are so articulate, so smart to recognize the changed you. In time the acceptance of who you are and where you've been will bring you to the person you are now. It may take years and the grieving for what you lost is certainly necessary. Time heals all. Maybe not to where you want, but you are a wiser person now. And much better, more mature and reflective.

  • @connyrivkamartinez9889
    @connyrivkamartinez9889 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    OMG everything you just said, comes from a very intelligent person!

  • @noell.5267
    @noell.5267 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for talking about this. I had no idea that this was a possibility until after treatment.

  • @alexitillery7512
    @alexitillery7512 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    You reminded me of the other wonderful aspects of my being...grittiness included. Thank you for this 💕

  • @JillyBean1968
    @JillyBean1968 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I truly think you are being too hard on yourself. You are amazing. Stay positive and continue moving forward.

  • @francy92mcr
    @francy92mcr 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Darling ❤️❤️❤️ be strong i love youuu... You are amazing. Thank u for sharing your journey. It is not easy, I know. But it will inspire many other people. You are extremely intelligent, it is obvious by your speech. Love.

  • @leonkane7892
    @leonkane7892 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Any update?

  • @TopNotch50
    @TopNotch50 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I ended up here wanting to know about HL. But I had back surgery and it totally messed up my memory. I think it was the anesthesia given to me during surgery. People around me think I'm crazy, but it stole some of my intelligence.

  • @kakumah
    @kakumah 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    The same happened to me, I have always be a book person with shelfs full of them, now, I don't remember what any of them say. I just gave up on reading, made sooo sad and frustrated to read a chapter or even a page and not be able to grasp a single cocept. Also I had spacial inteligence wich is to have the hability to get easily oriented and for solve complex puzzles with ease to say some examples; now that's gone too. Rediscovering the life through my new me.

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's so difficult, isn't it? It's very hard for people to understand how devastating it is. I'm so sorry to hear that Melaria. I hope you are able to find new hobbies that give you as much joy as reading. Do you listen to audiobooks?

  • @Carinaaa
    @Carinaaa 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I look forward to finishing chemo but I really want to go back to studying, I'm scared oh how chemo brain will affect my studying xx wishing you all the very best

  • @rubynk8506
    @rubynk8506 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love this video. I have the same struggle. xx

  • @rarelyaccurate6252
    @rarelyaccurate6252 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I hope you are doing well. I will pray for you

  • @NethirOsman
    @NethirOsman 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Been a while hope you are well miss your videos.

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for your love, Nethir. Just posted another video - I know it's been a while I am sorry!

    • @NethirOsman
      @NethirOsman 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Isenda Thinks Great to see you are back and well. Will check out your latest. I really have to attest to your courage in sharing your journey and how much I appreciate this, I really want to be so open about it but sometimes my head tells me know, I’ve found it easier doing so in real life and with groups but to put it on TH-cam is something else. I guess it’s interesting because i’m capable of Alot and your self and others if we are all still here, I gave up on driving for 8 years because of the cognitive deficits as a result of my treatment, Just before I turned 24 I achieved my goal and got my p’a. Prior to that I was crushed work wise financially failed almost everything I tried to study, hit from every aspect but somehow managed to pull my self from the depth this all was. Even if I did do this I have to accept that the first few times might not be perfect. That’s why I also continue to watch yours and another Aussie tech youtubers videos because you are so raw and open and authentic about what you talk about.
      I hope you are well, progressing and continue to prosper

    • @NethirOsman
      @NethirOsman 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Isenda Thinks Please don’t be sorry, I know the sentiment of what you mean, but understand life can get in the way.

  • @deniseblu297
    @deniseblu297 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Just way you talk shows intelligence. Your ok

  • @CynthiaPaolaHA
    @CynthiaPaolaHA 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Its been a while, how are you??

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey Cynthia. I am doing well! Just posted another video if you're interested. I hope you're also doing well, take care.

  • @michellecollins290
    @michellecollins290 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    My sister was the same. She was always much more intelligent and confident than me. I was more empathetic and slower, gentle etc. After chemo her intelligence and confidence went down. She made me look bright lol 😂 But one thing she became was kinder and more understanding when people were low. Life surely is a journey.

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wow that's so interesting. Kindness and compassion cannot be understated - they are powerful forces and skills that are often not considered as valuable as intellect.

  • @rubynk8506
    @rubynk8506 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi. I hope you are doing well. x

  • @joellucatero7188
    @joellucatero7188 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I wish you the best

  • @IamMichelleMarie
    @IamMichelleMarie 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I am being faced with the hardest choice in my life and that is whether or not to go through with chemo for my breast cancer. Even though i was a stage 3 grade 3 prior to lumpectomy and lymph node dissection, I opted to not to chemo and I have worked hard on taking supplements and a gram of cannabis oil (rso) every day for the last 80 days and unfortunately I found new lumps near my scar and found out a few days ago that the cancer is back, only 5 months later. I am stubborn as heck and don't fully trust conventional protocols and have seen naturopaths my entire adult life...had 3 homebirths...dont vaccinate my kids...etc etc.
    I am terrified of how chemo will hurt me forever. Or having it coming back as leukemia, which is one of the risks of several chemos for bc.
    I am so sorry to hear your struggles after chemo. you appear to me as so intelligent and well spoken and it simply beautiful to see and hear your story. I too, am sharing mine and documenting with video because my true desire is to be able to heal without chemo and rads. I truly believe in the body's ability to heal anything it can make.
    I emphasize with what you are saying, so much. My career requires me to be sharp minded and creative and well spoken and written. I am constantly being pressed to come up with creative solutions to problems and to develop new ideas, evey single day. I have dealt with chronic anemia in the past and brain fog is debilitating.
    My heart goes out to you and for what it's worth, you sound brilliant.
    xoxo

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks for commenting and sharing your story, Michelle. Sorry to hear about your new lumps. That's really scary. It's up to you to decide what treatment you opt in for. While chemo may damage parts of you, it could save your life. It might be worth having a conversation with a trusted doctor about this to see what they recommend and what the research says is the most evidence based treatment option for your type of cancer and its stage. For me it was a no brainer, chemo was a cure. Yes it has side effects and yes I'm dealing with them still. But I have my life. And I'm dealing well with my side effects because I work hard at alleviating them. If the doctors say that chemo is your best option and you have a very good chance of curing your cancer with it, I'd encourage you to do it. You're strong and you'll manage the side effects after. But, as I said earlier, it's up to you to do what you're most comfortable with. Sending you strength during this scary time and please update me with how you go. Take care.

  • @vga1232
    @vga1232 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love your accent :D Make new vlogs please!

  • @IamMichelleMarie
    @IamMichelleMarie 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Did you use a cold cap during chemo?

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nope. It wasn't presented to me as an option and I learned about it half way through my treatment. If I had to do chemo again, I'd research it some more and try it out if the doctors said it wouldn't interfere with treatment. You can watch older videos of me without my hair if you're curious.

  • @aymanm4350
    @aymanm4350 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    How are you feeling ?

  • @Lurker_Emerges_and_Says
    @Lurker_Emerges_and_Says ปีที่แล้ว

    Compassion > Intelligence

  • @Coolremac
    @Coolremac 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Where are you from? Your accent kinda sounds British or something similar.

  • @giab1188
    @giab1188 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    If you had to do it over, would you choose chemo?

    • @isendathinks7588
      @isendathinks7588  5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Of course. It saved my life. :)

    • @Fjerid
      @Fjerid 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Isenda Thinks Or you could have done a 14 day water-only fast and wouldve saved your life as well without any side effects. Baffles me why people don’t research before jumping to toxic, conventional treatments.
      O well, you’re alive and that’s all that matters I guess. Have a good one!

    • @ladyinred9656
      @ladyinred9656 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@isendathinks7588 no it did not. Your cancer only went dormant but is back and spread to your bones spine and lymphatic system

    • @deniseblu297
      @deniseblu297 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ladyinred9656 you might want help inspire her toward hope.

    • @ladyinred9656
      @ladyinred9656 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@deniseblu297 don't tell me what the fuck to do, I say what I want and not once did I wish her bad

  • @oldstoic3154
    @oldstoic3154 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    are you half asian?