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I wonder if there is a way to officially help you to translate and add subtitles in Portuguese your videos... if so, I'd very much like it (if refunded even better =)
jeremiah santander To be able to take the plunge you need the security of the knowledge that you can survive the potential pain of your trust being misplaced. It also helps to remind yourself that a person abusing your trust does not mean you are stupid for letting them do it. We all buy into victim blaming to some degree because it makes us feel in control (if we behave correctly, nothing bad will ever happen to us) which is a comforting delusion, but a delusion nonetheless. Remind yourself that you have people who will help you get over potential pain and that in the vast majority of cases people are not just out to get you but genuinely nice. You might have been unlucky when you started out in life, but this experience is not representative of life in general. I wish you god speed.
hey@@Daemon1995_ you're wrong and you should feel bad because you tried to make someone else feel bad for being wrong when it was actually you who was wrong
Elif no, physical health influences your mental health. Eating right and sleeping right affect your mood a lot, deficiency in vitamin D has a link to more sadness, exercise releases endorphins that brighten your mood. The more healthy you are, the more happy you’ll be. This isn’t really the case for mental illness, but just from a general standpoint
I was that person until not long time ago. And at Forty-three I finally realised that some people are really different that me. Some people don’t have empty or care . Not all people are like that good guy. Have I known early in life it would save me from a lot of pain. I will never underestimate the evil in people again.
Emotional damage because of life, disapproval or neglect, is it your fault, blame society, troubled by how you were mistreated, disrespected by other peoples actions or words,blame your financial situation, misunderstood for being you🚩🆘✅
@Aris Bariffi: " We are all that guy and we should love each other more". We can only love others after we have started loving ourselves. For the emotionally wounded, we have to undertake a journey inside ourselves and then gradually begin to appreciate and love ourselves and then others. Best wishes from India.
Kayleigh A everyone is capable of picking up on subtle emotions and wallowing in them, it's not a blessing, it's a path you unknowingly took when you decided how important your ego is.
It’s called weltchsmerz. I think you’re a highly empathetic person and you should probably work on building interpersonal relationships to dignify your emotions
I would not call myself a sensitive and emotional person, but the urges to cry do appear sometimes. If something is helpful, it is a realization that is just brain chemistry and with proper attitude we can easily manipulate our feelings.
Been there, done that. I usually get teary eyed when thinking of sad thoughts, or having recollections of past memories even if it doesn't concern or affect me for some apparent reason.
Emotional health 1. self love -know my self worth..-if I think it's a okay then fine -leave an abusive relationship -dare to admit fault 2. degree of openness -be open to believes and stick on values 3. communication -talk well ,assertive communication -misunderstanding 4. Trust -close to catastrophe -how tightly we need to cling.. -how save the world is.. -or settle for inathenuicty
Love this video and a word of kind advice to others - Accepting your own emotion and "perceived faults" is really really important for your own benefit, even though in reality it is not socially acceptable on many occassions. I have in the past been called "too straightforward, have no filters, aggressive" at workplaces and personal life. However, that's actually unfortunately a combination of "me wanting to be authentic" plus "however, I did suffer low self-esteem and had childhood trauma issues". So in real life, I admit that self-healing and "wanting to change" is rather difficult, because there are many obstacles and hurt along the way, as you seek to change. It's not like the world is going to immediately smile and hug us, when we decide to "come out". I remember the only reason I kept going was my belief that authenticity is good, and that I'm going to do it at all cost. I accept that I may look like a bad person in other people's eyes, but if I AM genuinely a bad person and my authenticity attracts attention and criticisms, then at least I'm on the road towards healing, because other people will help me if I make myself visible. So after all these years of making myself visible regardless of public image, I couldn't be any happier now because help keeps coming my way (even though in very harsh forms sometimes) and I become more mature and content. Most importantly, it is the feeling of "me coming to the world with the authentic me and getting some feedback in return" that's so damn good -- real engagement, raw exposure, at all costs....Even though I shed tons of tears in the process - they are authentic tears and I feel very connected to myself, even though I'm looking like a looser from appearance. But that is what I call REAL happiness.
My mind is broken and I don't how to fix myself. I feel like I'm the one who needs fixing. I'll never be accepted here but I can't leave. Personally I've always had a positive out look on life, but myself on the inside I'm depressed.
You seek the wrong things to fix yourself. You‘re already complete. Why do you think otherwise? Do you think everyone else is perfect and you need to adjust to be good enough? At best and at worst, you‘re a human being with very human flaws and very beautiful sides too. You should never feel like you have to justify your humanity, you should take a realistic look at yourself and see where is room for improvement and where you‘re satisfied with yourself. You are, no matter what, good enough at being human. Don‘t ever think you‘re less than that. That‘d be an unrealistic lie.
I've felt the same way up until recently when I took the path to self discovery. I decided to start working on myself harder than I do on my job. It's helping with the depression, which I've had for over 11 years without knowing it. Progress is slow, the books are boring and the conversations with myself usually end up nowhere most of the time but I do feel like I'm making a difference and one day I'll be the best version of myself. Keep strong, don't let depression pull you down.
Looking at the state of the comment section, PSA: The video is not asking whether you are Emotionally Healthy as a yes/no question. This rhetoric wants to incite a self debate on four important qualities, various angles to them and how we fare in relation to them. The first part of solving the problem, is to understand the problem like your friend. Everyone is fucked up but not similarly. While you may have social anxiety but you also don't have criticism issue (and so many more). In a way, Alan wants you to do a self check up - mental one, just like doctors do with checking your pulse and response. So don't just watch the video - sit back, close your eyes and understand it. That's important. Chio :3
Complaining about things without actually doing something about it is a way to acknowledge that the problem exist weather or not we take our time to accept it.
Kaneki Ken true, but there's also the fact that sometimes we just aren't strong enough to solve our problems. Complaining can be a way of trying to convince ourselves that we do in fact need help and that we should seek it out - and in some cases it can be all we're capable of. My point is that sometimes you just can't. And even though you've constructed a billion solutions in your head, you're still too weak and broken to make them work.
kieran fong. Hey kieran, the problems are solved one step at a time. You can do it!! The hardest part is at the beginning. Set your goal of becoming more emotionally mature and take steps toward it each day. Find people who have already fought the battle who can help. I found help at Celebrate Recovery, but there are tons of other places you can find help. Don't expect quick cures. It took you years to get where you are and it will probably take a while to get out, but NEVER give up.
Take a moment. I believe it's important understanding that there are questions that we must answer about ourselves. Take the crisis and turn it into knowledge.
In response to the comments that imply attention seeking is a bad thing: I honestly think seeking attention isn't bad at all, it probably means that we're seeking help. And seeking help is the first step to getting better i think, we just need to find the right place to get it (and I know how hard it is to find what works). So please don't feel bad for seeking attention, it's much better than being completely reclusive. I wish everybody good luck.
I obviously do have some emotional problems and I really wish I could seek help,but my parents and almost nobody knows I am actually depressed.I try my best to present myself as a funny,energized and decent person,but inside I just feel worthless.
Marc Vidal tried it, its not the solution. Have to reveal the rough reality here, even if people are able to help you to get out of mental problems, they are never able to solve the problem. Only you are able to do that. Good luck along the way.
People who are stressed or depressed get sick more often. And with sick I mean not only the flue but even heart conditions if stressed for a long time or even cancer. People who are stressed tend to take care less of themselves. Also the immune system is affected by the mental health of a person. There's a proven balance between mental and physical health. And I haven't even spoken of people committing suicide because of stress and depression, which is a real killer.
I'm very emotionally healthy, and I'd like to say to the people in the comments that you're taking the first step in admittance and seeking help. I see a lot of fastidious individuals who can obviously express their feelings in words. Expand your comfort zone, and try with everything you have. All you have control over is your mind. Outside forces (friends, looks, others, the world around you) has nothing to do with what you are personally enabled to feel and think.
I’m a personal trainer, I’ve tried a public speaking class, joined clubs, done a male pageant, solo traveled, approached girls, talked to all these people and I still don’t have control over my mind. I get feelings that make me lose my personality, make me depressed and shut down. I’m seriously considering moving to a different country at this point, in an attempt to take control. I can’t take it anymore
@@Obamnaz Dear, Diego, wherever you go your mind will follow. Try to find peace within your self and your inner world will become your sanctuary. I wish you all the best!
About 2 years ago i went through this major existential crisis where i became almost entirely disillusioned with myself and completely stopped lying to myself about who i was, where i wanted to be, and the gap between those two things that was caused by my own flaws. Realizing how hard it is to admit youre wrong EVERY time youre wrong, realizing when youre fuckin up or when youre just wilin and need to calm down in the heat of the moment. Its insane how difficult taking responsibility is. World shattering. At first i wanted to die. However i got through the initial shock and now i can feel myself getting stronger. Ive never been this strong. And ill be stronger tomorrow. I dont care whats happening to you. Do not give up. I wanted to and i didnt.
I have a web of problems in my spirit and it is quite a long story so I will reduce the whole thing into keywords. Low self-esteem, loneliness, perfectionism, disappointment in society, disappointment in self, mild alcoholism, arrogance but too much humility, masochism... and the list could go on for much much longer but I think this is the minimum that can more or less sum up my situation. Have a good life, everybody!
I go through all of that as well except for the alcoholism, instead it’s abusing drugs, and I’m only 16. Just goes to show that there are millions of people feeling the same as us no matter how alone we feel. Keep holding on and things will change for us we just need to stay strong even when it sucks the most. You’ve got a golden heart never forget that.
@@AmericasComic Is Anyone Really Though? What Makes Someone Entitled To Something? What Are The Mechanics Of Entitlement? Can It Be Lost Or Is It Permanent? If It Is Lost Can It Be Regained?
@@estinsidebottom eat healthy stay away from pigs human and most important travel. Self love is for you to be good not for people to be good. Once you love yourself, you'll make people around you loving automatically
DudiDwarf You should listen to Roland. Everybody in life has a test but different answers. Only you can find the right answers by failing again and again until you succeed.
Off course the video mostly had questions. Did you expect a miraculous answer to everyone's problems? If yes, then I'm afraid that view of the world will make it easier to be tricked by fraudulent self-help gurus and religions promising miracles. There are no easy quick fix, you actually have to work on it yourself. That's life.
Hello there. Yes yes, absolutely! I keep saying that he should sing! In case you don't know, Alain de Botton is one of the greatest thinkers of our time. Besides he is the best " teacher of life" one can imagine:-) His entire work has a life changing quality. You can read his books, listen to his TED talks and other talks, and watch his documentaries too. He has another youtube channel where you can find those documentaries. Just search for the one called " Status Anxiety", to find the channel. If you want to start with one book, I would highly recommend " The Consolations of Philosophy". I never understood much from philosophy, until I read that book and realised that it is all about learning how to live well. It is not a difficult read at all. If you search for Alain's name on Itunes you can find interviews with him on several podcasts too. My favourite one is the " On Being with Krista Tippett" podcast, where he talks about his latest book "The Course of Love". That's the most meaningful and profound conversation I have ever heard about love. He also has a speech on love in youtube. To find it just search for: " On Love, Alain de Botton, Sydney Opera House". Best wishes.
Adam Szwandziak bad advice dude... Build yourself and love yourself before you love another person...i don't have to tell you why it's important to do so Good day pal
Always keep in mind how big the universe is ("no, it's even bigger than that") and compare that size to your life and your problems. You then realize everything is alright, really.
Is that really a solution. Your world ends at the ozone. How many stars or universes there are will never reach and impact on you. Sounds like another trick to not work on your problems
Sebastian Elytron That’s a bad idea mate. That just shows that you hide your problems. It’s like the classic “African starving child” thing everyone, and ourselves, tell us. What all that really does is force you to hide your problems because someone else may have it worse.
Not very healthy at all, but your channel really helps me understand what issues I'm dealing with, physically and emotionally. For that I must really thank you, for a long time I have been lost as to how to deal with these complicated feelings. Really, thank you for showing me a new way of approaching how I am as a human.
Morbidcrab Honestly if I didn’t ever have the internet in my life I probably wouldn’t have so much self hatred at my young age. Even if you were joking or being rude, I can say that I agree that getting off the internet for a while could help a few people at least.
Overall, I think I'm quite healthy! Which is surprising since I thought I was going back to times where I had no self-love or respected myself after a really horrible break-up, but this video actually gave me so much hope. The only thing I'll really have to work on is on the fourth one, since I have social anxiety and it's difficult for me to really feel everything will be alright when I want to talk to people, but still, I'm making a lot of progress. I love your videos so much! Thank you
Now I realize even more that I need to get away from where I stay right now. But I don't have the money to start a new hopeful and exciting life of my own.
I share the same sentiment. I want so badly to start a new life of my own away from the place i am right now but unfortunately financial issues constantly restrict my every action. And so i turn to this one song by Tracy Chapman, called fast car. I freaking love this song
I am in your exact same predicament. I've been saving money but rent is so expensive in NY it feels sometimes like I'm going nowhere. Still, I know I will be leaving soon and I thank God every day for that. I pray we both find ourselves in a better place within the coming year, but that we both understand God will put us exactly where we need to be. Remember that. Peace and love
I totally agree. I want to start over but have nothing to start with. I don't want to stay in the same place of my life forever but I can do nothing about it.
Money issues are related to low self esteem. a person first have to acquire the feeling of self value, belief of deserving the best, not in terms of imbalanced being better than anyone else, but in terms of being valuable as everyone else although with individual needs. when we realise what our individual needs are, when we realise that we deserve to be fulfilled and happy, so we can fully be a wonderful gift to the world, we can get whatever we need, for our personal growth. the energy and thought-shapes would change and rearrange the reality around us. the abundance starts from the self-awareness and balanced self-esteem. here we have a free tool to use on this channel (thank you very much
This was super rewarding - I have been in therapy for a year now consistently. If I took this "test" a year ago it would be worse than today. Hope to return later and be able to answer more positively still. Thank you!
So satisfying to click on a video and have what you came for right at the beginning. I actually clicked on the video and started skipping 30 seconds before I realized it wasn’t just you asking to like comment and subscribe and telling us about your patreon or something.
To anyone who ends up here: we are all a bit broken in one way or the other. The part of us that wants us to improve is the same one which does not condone our small mistakes. We are the mixture of all things good and bad and we can always learn. It's hard but learning to love yourself is a beautiful experience. Stay positive and keep working on yourself. 😊
damn this made me feel good. this really summed up my transition from adolesence to adulthood. from no longer considering suicide, but only wondering about when would be the right time to waking up excited to get things done again and being content with the daily struggles and discomforts; never however taking life lightly
With nobody in my life, I experience very little emotions at all. It seems most emotions are stimulated by other humans. Since I have no other humans in my life, emotions are very few and far between each other. It is a very simple, stable, predictable, very affordable life when there is nobody else in your life. Social isolation has a tremendous amount of benefits. I recommend all try it. If you find you can not exist without being a member of a social herd, you can likely reassimilate back into a social herd and lose a lot of individuality.
@i .candy I find lack of emotion to be very calming since most emotions I experienced were quite negative, when I was social. Things are much more logical, orderly, and with purer purpose when analysed without emotion. Problems are much easier to solve. Learing is much quicker. Retention is tremendously higher. Logic and reason now take precedence over emotion. I have taught myself things I would not have been able to accomplish as a social person and an emotional person. Please note, we are corresponding in English, a language I taught myself. I would like to state that I did not delete emotion from my life. Emotion became greatly diminished, almost disappearing, upon self imposed social isolation. Thus, it would appear that interpersonal, social, interactions stimulated most of my emotions in my life. I have gained so much by deleting the interpersonal, social, aspect of my life. I wish I would have done it long before I actually did it. It may not be the cause in everybody's life. But in my life, forcing myself to be social definitely stimulated almost all my emotions, which were almost entirely negative emotions.
2:06-2:39 for reference. I personally think that our true motives will always be unpleasant even if we are acting in a way that people consider to be 'nice'. It may be because we are under the eyes of others whom we may want to impress or to satisfy ourselves that we really are this amiable person. We are capable of lying to ourselves into thinking that we actually act of a kind heart when we act like it. the characteristic of being nice is pushed by society as a trait of the ideal human. At times, we act nice because we want to attain this image for ourselves. If this is true, someone who is fully aware of the thoughts that their brain unconsciously skips over, would be true to their real intentions. Following true intentions is not falling into hatred and apathy for others. This is because there is a reward to living a kind lifestyle. Although you may recognize that nobody is kind from their heart, others do not. They blindly compliment you for friendly actions and lie to themselves that you are a nice person. One of our most common desires seems to be the impression that others have on us. Therefore, a self-conscious man might act kind with the full knowledge just for others to think highly of you. So you may ask: Then how is the self-conscious man different from the blinded man? Both will act kind at similar situations. A self-conscious man will not be kind when he is alone. He will not resemble the traits of an amiable man because he knows that the characteristic is impossible to obtain. If we are a capable of reading our true progression of thoughts, we avoid useless actions (in terms of the result of that action). I may be completely wrong. The things we see everyday pushes facts into our brains until we accept them as truths without questioning why. I admit that I am a victim of this as I am a human under the influence of my parents, friends, media, and the events around me. therefore, my beliefs may be clouded as well. However, to me this is the most logical explanation.
So, you are basically asking whether someone's intentions matter when the outcome is the same? It depends on the person. If someone pretends they're a paragon of justice while they are only doing it for approval, it still builds expectation and trust for the people around them. So if there is no one around to impress, will they still be kind? But if someone pulls a paarthurax and tries to be better, while they have a rather rotten character normally, then I even find that very admirable. I agree with you that people will always have selfish intentions to a certain extend. Most of human behaviour is build around self interest, even the kinds that society deems as good and charitable. If one's intentions steer clear of hurting others unnecessarily, then no it doesn't matter. The outcome doesn't change and the positive influence stays. The school of life posted a video a while ago about how even "good people" can have nasty thoughts and intentions, but it doesn't matter since they don't act on them.
Kamilla Van Der Molen I agree with almost everything you stated. The one part that I differ from your opinion is that there are some who actually are acting out of good intent. As of now, I can divide three ways of thought before someone takes a kind action. 1. He/she is fully aware that kind actions are not out of real intent and do it anyways for the beneficial outcome. 2. He/she lies to himself that they are working towards the ideal personality of kindness while they 'practice' their kindness. They have similar intentions as scenario 1, but deceive themselves into justifying this set of actions with a worthy cause. 3. He/she feels a certain urge to be kind. This is not because they are naturally kind. Parents, teachers, and the media push the idea that people who are kind are better than people who are evil. It is painfully apparent that, movies glorify good people and the action themselves. When we ignore a struggle homeless man, we feel guilt only because we are brainwashed into thinking that we should drop them a dollar instead. There is a reason why this is an urge. It does not entail a logical thought process behind the scenes. It's simple an emotion we feel without baseless logic. When society drills certain ideas into us, our answers to certain questions and scenarios become instantaneous and are out a developed instinct. Ultimately, nobody is nice in heart. It is impossible. How could we override millions of years of evolution that tells us to survive no matter the cost? We will never attain the traits we consider desirable. Consider that most of my ideas are based on my experiences. Often times I stop myself to think from a broader perspective and to question what my original desires are behind an action. If I know the origin and the action that I ended up taking, I can easily fill the middle with the thoughts that took from a desire to an action.
u u I have to admit that I usually do helpful things mostly out of my personal ideals(so I am the liar I suppose) . The biblical "treat others as how you like to be treated" sort of thing and even that is because I firmly believe it's the lesser of many evils. When I think back at my "noblest" of actions even they are fuelled by self interest in a way. Most of the times I remember someone else helping me in a certain matter, and how grateful and relieved I felt towards them, so I help someone else and hope they experience the same. Not that I desire their gratitude towards me, just the positive feeling, and that in return makes me feel good. It makes me feel that even though I'm a grain of sand in the beach that is life, I can still contribute some positivity. If you retrace the steps it always leads to some sort of reward. Yes I have been shaped by society and the ideals they indoctrinate into people's heads, but certain things aren't so bad imo. Some people need those ideals and even the shadow of law enforcement lurking over them to properly function and be happy in this world. I believe that if those ideas and rules weren't implemented, human civilization would fall into chaos, and I would have grown up to be a huge cunt. Also you seem like a very thoughtful, intelligent person. I need to focus quite a bit to keep up with your level and not divert too much. Most of what you say really speaks to me, but I wouldn't have been able to put it into words like you did :D I like discussing these subjects with someone that is better at it, then I can at least learn something. Even though they might look down on me.
Kamilla Van Der Molen Thank you for openly sharing your thoughts with me. I am relieved that I found someone that echoes many of my own beliefs. Just one more thing I would like to point out. You seem to have baseless hope for our world when you claim that some people need misconceptions for the better. I believe that those are conclusions that we cannot come to. No matter what environment we may reside in, we lack the ability to look from a unbiased perspective. Your hope is just a way to protect yourself from the harm that our world is filled with flaws. Any sort of organization or system (like a government or an ecosystem) will cast a veil before or eyes. That is something that is inevitable. What I'm trying to say is that, it doesn't matter that humanity is full of lies. That's how it's supposed to be and will always be. One way around it is a change of the brain. Our brain runs through certain patterns at chain reactions. we will eventually run through certain patterns that we will jump to the end of a chain of thought without evaluating the other parts. I am no scientist, but I am guessing that much of this has to do with how our brain works. We pay the price to be organized in our brains and in governments. We do not have to change the way we live because self deception is inevitable. There is no ideal government that will grant us more knowledge as well. If we are taught that slavery is way of life, we would not demand otherwise. A society is only unjust when the citizens are not granted freedoms relative to other countries or the past. If our perspectives are in agreement, we will not ask for revolutionary change. The only ways that this knowledge helps me in daily life is that I am capable of reading the minds of others and I am assured that I am partially out of the chains of misconception. And don't refer to me as superior in thought. I happened to come across events that triggered said thoughts.
I only see relative people and problems in comment sections, but I never see any people with same problems in real world everybody seem to be happy with their life, and so fucking different from me, that I better stay alone because when I within others I feel lonely.
I wish people were mere outspoken about all this. But quite often as soon as you start talking about a subject like this people will try and end or divert the conversation. They are too afraid of what they might find. Even among friends there's no one willing to be truly honest. I'd say I'm probably the most honest one in that I try to communicate my feelings knowing how unreasonable they may be sometimes. The world could be a much better place if we truly tried to understand each other.
This video speaks of very common situations we go through, yet it's very depressing. You have touched all parts of emotional problems, people in general go through
I started crying about 5 seconds in. I have such a bad relationship with my self love. Today I stopped a relationship with a man who wasn't treating me right and I was letting him. The first step in recovery is often the hardest.
Your voice! Omg I could listen to it forever. 💗 calm and pleasant. Just clicked on this video out of curiosity. Been listening to motivational speeches for depression.
I had to pause. Im here in the commnets about to start hyperventilating. You're not alone. My physical and mental health is a wreck and im very afraid for my well-being. I wanna be well.
Vanessa Bell same story. I did my schooling and cllg in english but i m weak in english. And the prob with these videos are they use high vocab which is too hard to get. I never used to understand anything when i first started watching this channel video. But now i search for the vocabulary they used and try to make sentences understandable . It is time consuming and very tough without any mentoring. But worth doing it. You will improve one day. I m improving bit by bit. I started commenting on youtube channel and reading others comments. It helps me in framing sentences.
Keep learning english and keep at it! I'm a native english speaker and go to university for engineering and I still have to watch these videos 3 or 4 times before I can actually fully understand the messages and meaning
Vanessa, Duolingo is a wonderful website to learn a new language. Just give it a try. It is for free. You can also always click on the description under this video to read the text and check the words you don't understand. All the best :- )
jesus.. 1. I hate myself.. Not because of envy, but because i feel useless and ugly. 2. I'm pretty good on the second part. I suppose that's why i'm here and not hanging myself in a bathroom somewhere. lol 3. Communication, hmm... i have been getting better at the facade of humanity. i felt like shit my whole life and each year i wish to be more and more isolated. Unfortunately or should i say fortunately, i need to interact to make money to be able to support myself. This was a interesting video. If you have some pointers to improve please say it. IDC if it sounds horrible.
Don't hate yourself, Michael. I don't know you, but you sound like a good person. I checked out your channel and saw something on there that looked interesting: HotDamniRock - I checked one of his videos and it made me weep. Maybe it was something to do with the video above about emotional health, maybe it was what you wrote here, or maybe it was what HDR was saying about life ... or maybe a combination of all 3 mixed in with where I am in life today. Anyway, don't give up, because there is always something in life that comes up and taps you on the shoulder as if to say, 'hey - check this out' and then throws something in front of you that you didn't expect. I hope, that, maybe, in my small way, I helped do that for you right now. + thank you for introducing me to HDR. :)
I have a friend who has a very high estim of himself; he tells me that he knows he is not worth much, but that he still gives importance to himself (not in a narcissistic way). my point being that how you feel about yourself does not need to follow certain standards. I used to hate myself and think that i was ugly, so much so that i convinced myself. with time i got better, and thinking back i realise it was a choice. love yourself for the only reason that you owe it to yourself, whatever your flaws. concerning the fact that you feel ugly, first it is your perception, second you are giving physical appearance too much importance. there are many other aspects that one can develop in oneself that have a lot of impact and that can make one different from others, all of which are internal.
So I'm looking at your comment from 2 yrs ago. Naturally, I wonder where you're at today. I hate myself, too... so much so that if some likes me, I think there s something wrong with them. Can't they see that I'm not funny, interesting, sexy, or particularly bright? I'm a fake... a freud. ... a facade. I don't want to be liked. It annoys the shit out of me.
the fact that you're able to support yourself financially shows you are not useless... someone is willing to pay for you to provide something. Lots of people feel ugly... and lots of people are lol.
Loved this video. I love The School Of Life! I definitely am not emotionally healthy so much work to be done. Definite people pleaser. Have been in a few abusive relationships. I'm clingy and anxious 😔.
I'm so lost by myself. When I'm not validated by others I don't feel alive. I always look out for happiness and know that I should teach myself how to be happy. I can't function on my own.
At this particular time in my life I am really not emotionally healthy and I wish I trusted life more. Wish I trusted myself more. But hopefully things will change soon.
Wow i never thught that a youtube channel could amaze me that much. The school of life is truly representated in your videos. And it's so true. Thank you for speaking the truth in such a nice warm tone and quality.
Bandage my wounds... I think a needle and thread would be more appropriate to close the gaping wound I feel I have emotionally and psychologically. I actually cried for about an hour last night thinking of the past 26 years and what my life has amounted to thus far, which is essentially two decades of regret, wasted opportunities, and disappointment. It feel horrible to be so disappointed in yourself.
“For what it’s worth... it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you’ve never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start over again.” F. Scott Fitzgerald
![[LIVE] BABYMONSTER(베이비몬스터) - DRIP | 두시탈출 컬투쇼](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/UG05pxLGwzc/mqdefault.jpg)
![ปฏิเสธไม่ไหว (Crush on you) - LIPTA feat. No One Else [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NBw1jF342vw/mqdefault.jpg)
We now have an app. If you’d like to join the our community for a chat, you can download our free app from the IOS store here. itunes.apple.com/gb/app/the-school-of-life/id1182058270?mt=8itunes.apple.com/gb/app/the-school-of-life/id1182058270?mt=8
Android app in the making by any chance?
Yes please, an android app would be lovely!
I wonder if there is a way to officially help you to translate and add subtitles in Portuguese your videos... if so, I'd very much like it (if refunded even better =)
The School of Life I'm not very good at the trust part. Especially with my SO. I want to be better at it. Any advice?
jeremiah santander To be able to take the plunge you need the security of the knowledge that you can survive the potential pain of your trust being misplaced. It also helps to remind yourself that a person abusing your trust does not mean you are stupid for letting them do it. We all buy into victim blaming to some degree because it makes us feel in control (if we behave correctly, nothing bad will ever happen to us) which is a comforting delusion, but a delusion nonetheless. Remind yourself that you have people who will help you get over potential pain and that in the vast majority of cases people are not just out to get you but genuinely nice. You might have been unlucky when you started out in life, but this experience is not representative of life in general. I wish you god speed.
A wise man once told me back in nz he said if you have a problem sing, because you'll realise your singing is a bigger problem
Words to live by
lololololol
@@Daemon1995_, no it would be "your" because "you're" would mean you are singing but they are saying the singing that belongs to you. "Your singing"
hey@@Daemon1995_ you're wrong and you should feel bad because you tried to make someone else feel bad for being wrong when it was actually you who was wrong
What happen if you are a good singer lol
The *sad reality* is...
Most of our societies don't understand the importance of emotional/mental health..
Just physical health..
:'/
Yeah society doesn't care about physical health either. Just money. It's important that we stay unhealthy for us to be useful customers.
Cinematic Top 10 More likely the opposite is true. Mental health affects physical health more so.
Elif no, physical health influences your mental health. Eating right and sleeping right affect your mood a lot, deficiency in vitamin D has a link to more sadness, exercise releases endorphins that brighten your mood. The more healthy you are, the more happy you’ll be. This isn’t really the case for mental illness, but just from a general standpoint
Society's hierarchy of importance: emotional health < mental health < physical health < financial health
It cares about none. I am mentaly and physicly disabled. Not even my mother cares. Or doctors
That guy in red brought me to tears! I can feel so much empathy when I look at him. We are all that guy and we should love each other more.
I cried too :) but I cry with modern family so I don't know if it counts jajajajaja
I was that person until not long time ago. And at Forty-three I finally realised that some people are really different that me. Some people don’t have empty or care . Not all people are like that good guy. Have I known early in life it would save me from a lot of pain. I will never underestimate the evil in people again.
Emotional damage because of life, disapproval or neglect, is it your fault, blame society, troubled by how you were mistreated, disrespected by other peoples actions or words,blame your financial situation, misunderstood for being you🚩🆘✅
@Aris Bariffi: " We are all that guy and we should love each other more".
We can only love others after we have started loving ourselves. For the emotionally wounded, we have to undertake a journey inside ourselves and then gradually begin to appreciate and love ourselves and then others.
Best wishes from India.
I always feel a lot of empathy for the characters in tsol videos. They show their emotions in so innocent and cute ways
I am proud of myself for growing from the broken person I was for so long and still am in many ways, but the change is there. All love.
Same here. Much work have been done on myself.
Great job! ♡
Im proud of you too🦋
Do you change by thinking? Or did you actually do something?
This got me to fully realize how emotionally immature I am. Thank you.
Me too
🤣
oh boy...
mal doran same
Same
Same :s
mal doran same
imagine relating to two words
I feel so bad for the little red stripey guy… he looks like he’s having a tough time
yeah, I feel like I want to give him a hug :(
That red stripy guy is me... is all of us. So thanks! :D
S A M E
You're an HSP just like me
I am a highly sensitive and emotional personand it makes my life messy. I hate that.
*Does anybody else feel like crying for no apparent reason?*
Kayleigh A everyone is capable of picking up on subtle emotions and wallowing in them, it's not a blessing, it's a path you unknowingly took when you decided how important your ego is.
It’s called weltchsmerz. I think you’re a highly empathetic person and you should probably work on building interpersonal relationships to dignify your emotions
Mari Mon I feel like crying even if somebody glares at me too long. I tend to easily mistake something against me.
I would not call myself a sensitive and emotional person, but the urges to cry do appear sometimes. If something is helpful, it is a realization that is just brain chemistry and with proper attitude we can easily manipulate our feelings.
Been there, done that. I usually get teary eyed when thinking of sad thoughts, or having recollections of past memories even if it doesn't concern or affect me for some apparent reason.
Emotional health
1. self love
-know my self worth..-if I think it's a okay then fine
-leave an abusive relationship
-dare to admit fault
2. degree of openness
-be open to believes and stick on values
3. communication
-talk well ,assertive communication
-misunderstanding
4. Trust
-close to catastrophe
-how tightly we need to cling..
-how save the world is..
-or settle for inathenuicty
Are you Keralite?
Thank you
Love this video and a word of kind advice to others - Accepting your own emotion and "perceived faults" is really really important for your own benefit, even though in reality it is not socially acceptable on many occassions. I have in the past been called "too straightforward, have no filters, aggressive" at workplaces and personal life. However, that's actually unfortunately a combination of "me wanting to be authentic" plus "however, I did suffer low self-esteem and had childhood trauma issues". So in real life, I admit that self-healing and "wanting to change" is rather difficult, because there are many obstacles and hurt along the way, as you seek to change. It's not like the world is going to immediately smile and hug us, when we decide to "come out". I remember the only reason I kept going was my belief that authenticity is good, and that I'm going to do it at all cost. I accept that I may look like a bad person in other people's eyes, but if I AM genuinely a bad person and my authenticity attracts attention and criticisms, then at least I'm on the road towards healing, because other people will help me if I make myself visible. So after all these years of making myself visible regardless of public image, I couldn't be any happier now because help keeps coming my way (even though in very harsh forms sometimes) and I become more mature and content. Most importantly, it is the feeling of "me coming to the world with the authentic me and getting some feedback in return" that's so damn good -- real engagement, raw exposure, at all costs....Even though I shed tons of tears in the process - they are authentic tears and I feel very connected to myself, even though I'm looking like a looser from appearance. But that is what I call REAL happiness.
My mind is broken and I don't how to fix myself. I feel like I'm the one who needs fixing. I'll never be accepted here but I can't leave. Personally I've always had a positive out look on life, but myself on the inside I'm depressed.
Description Untitled, glad to now i"m not alone.
You seek the wrong things to fix yourself.
You‘re already complete. Why do you think otherwise? Do you think everyone else is perfect and you need to adjust to be good enough? At best and at worst, you‘re a human being with very human flaws and very beautiful sides too. You should never feel like you have to justify your humanity, you should take a realistic look at yourself and see where is room for improvement and where you‘re satisfied with yourself.
You are, no matter what, good enough at being human.
Don‘t ever think you‘re less than that. That‘d be an unrealistic lie.
Kiwirk c, Me too.
Cornelia Hanimann, Thanks for saying that when no one else would. You've made the rest of my week.
I've felt the same way up until recently when I took the path to self discovery. I decided to start working on myself harder than I do on my job. It's helping with the depression, which I've had for over 11 years without knowing it. Progress is slow, the books are boring and the conversations with myself usually end up nowhere most of the time but I do feel like I'm making a difference and one day I'll be the best version of myself.
Keep strong, don't let depression pull you down.
Looking at the state of the comment section, PSA:
The video is not asking whether you are Emotionally Healthy as a yes/no question. This rhetoric wants to incite a self debate on four important qualities, various angles to them and how we fare in relation to them. The first part of solving the problem, is to understand the problem like your friend. Everyone is fucked up but not similarly. While you may have social anxiety but you also don't have criticism issue (and so many more). In a way, Alan wants you to do a self check up - mental one, just like doctors do with checking your pulse and response. So don't just watch the video - sit back, close your eyes and understand it. That's important. Chio :3
Abhi Shah ikr ? Everyone just love to complaining without even bother to find a solution .
Complaining about things without actually doing something about it is a way to acknowledge that the problem exist weather or not we take our time to accept it.
Kaneki Ken true, but there's also the fact that sometimes we just aren't strong enough to solve our problems. Complaining can be a way of trying to convince ourselves that we do in fact need help and that we should seek it out - and in some cases it can be all we're capable of. My point is that sometimes you just can't. And even though you've constructed a billion solutions in your head, you're still too weak and broken to make them work.
But how do we solve these problems tho? ;-;
kieran fong. Hey kieran, the problems are solved one step at a time. You can do it!! The hardest part is at the beginning. Set your goal of becoming more emotionally mature and take steps toward it each day. Find people who have already fought the battle who can help. I found help at Celebrate Recovery, but there are tons of other places you can find help. Don't expect quick cures. It took you years to get where you are and it will probably take a while to get out, but NEVER give up.
this made me have an existential crisis
I think realizing that joy is meaningless would be an existential crisis
s xn yl army ??? :))
Take a moment. I believe it's important understanding that there are questions that we must answer about ourselves. Take the crisis and turn it into knowledge.
Morbidcrab you know what else has done NOBODY ANY favours? Making unsubstantiated assumptions about people you don't even know.
Read the bible
In response to the comments that imply attention seeking is a bad thing: I honestly think seeking attention isn't bad at all, it probably means that we're seeking help. And seeking help is the first step to getting better i think, we just need to find the right place to get it (and I know how hard it is to find what works). So please don't feel bad for seeking attention, it's much better than being completely reclusive. I wish everybody good luck.
Please rename yourself. You're a great person.
This is true. You make a very good point.
True.There are so many different perspectives regarding what behaviour is toxic and what isn't; it's hard to put a finger on it.
Yeah but no one cares.
I obviously do have some emotional problems and I really wish I could seek help,but my parents and almost nobody knows I am actually depressed.I try my best to present myself as a funny,energized and decent person,but inside I just feel worthless.
XxPhoenixX Its hard to grow up in an environment where noone understands you. Whats left is you being your best friend.
1432amer that comment made me cry thanks
I'm in a similar state as you. One big step might be to open up more about ours problems, don't you think ? Hope you're feeling better.
Yeah man it feels like you live two seperate life's and that sucks
Marc Vidal tried it, its not the solution.
Have to reveal the rough reality here, even if people are able to help you to get out of mental problems, they are never able to solve the problem. Only you are able to do that. Good luck along the way.
The comment section is in a sorry state.
Princess Aza it really is
Yea you can see who the audience is
:(
Most people are these days lol
You're so right.
Everybody should get therapy honestly
Space Babies then... who would give therapists therapy?
Cat Vng other therapists!
help yourself
EVERYBODY NEED TO WORK ON THEIR SELF. AND LEARN TO BE A BETTER FORM OF THEM SELF
Yah if chefs can have other people prepare food for them, therapists can be helped by other therapists :D
so, what you're saying is that my emotional health is equivalent to lung cancer
Emotional health will not kill you as fast as lung cancer would do, but it might eventually kill you or even worse, take the joy from your life.
Now you're getting it
That comment slayed me haha 😂
People who are stressed or depressed get sick more often. And with sick I mean not only the flue but even heart conditions if stressed for a long time or even cancer. People who are stressed tend to take care less of themselves. Also the immune system is affected by the mental health of a person. There's a proven balance between mental and physical health. And I haven't even spoken of people committing suicide because of stress and depression, which is a real killer.
Terminal stage
The middle finger definitely made me laugh 😂😂😂😂
The boss : *pickachu face*
Michael Cox timestamp please
@@francisruizyamba6149 2:03
My eye popped when seeing this cartoon!
Same
I'm very emotionally healthy, and I'd like to say to the people in the comments that you're taking the first step in admittance and seeking help. I see a lot of fastidious individuals who can obviously express their feelings in words. Expand your comfort zone, and try with everything you have. All you have control over is your mind. Outside forces (friends, looks, others, the world around you) has nothing to do with what you are personally enabled to feel and think.
I just wanna tell you.. you're awesome for writing that comment. It's a great motivation!
Spencer what were your parents like?
I’m a personal trainer, I’ve tried a public speaking class, joined clubs, done a male pageant, solo traveled, approached girls, talked to all these people and I still don’t have control over my mind. I get feelings that make me lose my personality, make me depressed and shut down. I’m seriously considering moving to a different country at this point, in an attempt to take control. I can’t take it anymore
@@Obamnaz Dear, Diego, wherever you go your mind will follow. Try to find peace within your self and your inner world will become your sanctuary. I wish you all the best!
@simone I get his good intentions, but I agree with you.
The animations are on point. Very expressive cartoon drawing!
About 2 years ago i went through this major existential crisis where i became almost entirely disillusioned with myself and completely stopped lying to myself about who i was, where i wanted to be, and the gap between those two things that was caused by my own flaws. Realizing how hard it is to admit youre wrong EVERY time youre wrong, realizing when youre fuckin up or when youre just wilin and need to calm down in the heat of the moment. Its insane how difficult taking responsibility is. World shattering. At first i wanted to die. However i got through the initial shock and now i can feel myself getting stronger. Ive never been this strong. And ill be stronger tomorrow. I dont care whats happening to you. Do not give up. I wanted to and i didnt.
Beautifully said
It's rough. And amazing
I needed to hear that, thank you..
I have a web of problems in my spirit and it is quite a long story so I will reduce the whole thing into keywords.
Low self-esteem, loneliness, perfectionism, disappointment in society, disappointment in self, mild alcoholism, arrogance but too much humility, masochism... and the list could go on for much much longer but I think this is the minimum that can more or less sum up my situation. Have a good life, everybody!
Glisero I can relate to your challenges. First of all, you are not alone and you are loved. Spend some time in nature and you will understand.
I have mild alcoholism too -- it's kind of both the root and the effect of my problems
Read the bible
imagine intending to impress society..
I go through all of that as well except for the alcoholism, instead it’s abusing drugs, and I’m only 16. Just goes to show that there are millions of people feeling the same as us no matter how alone we feel. Keep holding on and things will change for us we just need to stay strong even when it sucks the most. You’ve got a golden heart never forget that.
This channel is therapy. The cartoons are so well thought out
*sees video in recommended*
"I'm sure this'll be good"
*sees first step(self love)*
"Lmao no"
you're entitled to love yourself.
@@AmericasComic Is Anyone Really Though? What Makes Someone Entitled To Something? What Are The Mechanics Of Entitlement? Can It Be Lost Or Is It Permanent? If It Is Lost Can It Be Regained?
I always found this self love thing really stupid. If I consider myself a piece of shit why the fuck would i love myself?????
@@rodrigo-tj1gf EXACTLY! How Am I Supposed To Love The Piece Of Shit That Is Me!?
@@estinsidebottom eat healthy stay away from pigs human and most important travel.
Self love is for you to be good not for people to be good. Once you love yourself, you'll make people around you loving automatically
Reading the comments... I'm glad I'm not the only one who's emotionally screwed! Yay!
As long as you have a sense of humor about it!! That’s what I do..
Danielle Lotu nope!!! I'm all f@$&ed up! Awesome!!!!! 👍👍👍
You can change it Damnsmell, You could be a little "princess" or you can try to change it. I thought asians were supposed to be smart?
the animations always bring me to tears, I feel so connected to the reactions of this guy :(
Never took me an hour and a half to finish a 5 minute video..and that's how I know how much invaluable it is 💜💜
This channel helps me see the bigger picture, thanks to all of your team. It is honestly the best channel on TH-cam.
Every question he asks has a devastating event associated with, in my life. And tears immediately roll down my cheeks thinking of all of them.
This video is very frustrating, as he only speaks in questions...
DudiDwarf indeed I think the video is kot helpful at all
Ask yourself these questions and answer them.
DudiDwarf You should listen to Roland. Everybody in life has a test but different answers. Only you can find the right answers by failing again and again until you succeed.
Off course the video mostly had questions.
Did you expect a miraculous answer to everyone's problems?
If yes, then I'm afraid that view of the world will make it easier to be tricked by fraudulent self-help gurus and religions promising miracles.
There are no easy quick fix, you actually have to work on it yourself. That's life.
as someone with chronic depression, i found this video extremely insightful.
The drawings are so amazing I want to hug this creature
His voice is so fucking SOOTHING
Hello there. Yes yes, absolutely! I keep saying that he should sing! In case you don't know, Alain de Botton is one of the greatest thinkers of our time. Besides he is the best " teacher of life" one can imagine:-) His entire work has a life changing quality. You can read his books, listen to his TED talks and other talks, and watch his documentaries too.
He has another youtube channel where you can find those documentaries. Just search for the one called " Status Anxiety", to find the channel. If you want to start with one book, I would highly recommend
" The Consolations of Philosophy".
I never understood much from philosophy, until I read that book and realised that it is all about learning how to live well. It is not a difficult read at all.
If you search for Alain's name on Itunes you can find
interviews with him on several podcasts too. My favourite one is the
" On Being with Krista Tippett" podcast, where he talks about his latest book
"The Course of Love". That's the most meaningful and profound
conversation I have ever heard about love. He also has a speech on love
in youtube. To find it just search for:
" On Love, Alain de Botton, Sydney Opera House".
Best wishes.
So much information at once, it feels like this one video needs to be incorporated into a class, dissected to fully understand it and ourselves.
The way this video is made (audio and video) is so beautiful
Hahahaha... I'm deeply broken.
sargtraegerin read the bible
mood
find someone thats just as broken and make urselfes one piece
jona me too.
Adam Szwandziak bad advice dude... Build yourself and love yourself before you love another person...i don't have to tell you why it's important to do so
Good day pal
“It is No Measure of Health to Be Well Adjusted to a Profoundly Sick Society”
Stellar Fervour yup
Funeral suits?
Always keep in mind how big the universe is ("no, it's even bigger than that") and compare that size to your life and your problems. You then realize everything is alright, really.
What im doing is: i tell my self that everyone has to die and that ill die so it doesnt matter what happens right now!
Sebastian Elytron thank you
Is that really a solution. Your world ends at the ozone. How many stars or universes there are will never reach and impact on you. Sounds like another trick to not work on your problems
Sebastian Elytron
That’s a bad idea mate. That just shows that you hide your problems. It’s like the classic “African starving child” thing everyone, and ourselves, tell us. What all that really does is force you to hide your problems because someone else may have it worse.
Comparing my small measly life to the size of a universe? Gee, thanks! You make me feel a lot smaller and less of myself than I already am...
Lol, jk!
Not very healthy at all, but your channel really helps me understand what issues I'm dealing with, physically and emotionally. For that I must really thank you, for a long time I have been lost as to how to deal with these complicated feelings. Really, thank you for showing me a new way of approaching how I am as a human.
Reading the title as “how emotionally HURT are you?” already says a lot...
This made me lol.
Same difference
Right off the bat, without even clicking play yet, let me tell you: Not very much.
Morbidcrab Honestly if I didn’t ever have the internet in my life I probably wouldn’t have so much self hatred at my young age. Even if you were joking or being rude, I can say that I agree that getting off the internet for a while could help a few people at least.
Overall, I think I'm quite healthy! Which is surprising since I thought I was going back to times where I had no self-love or respected myself after a really horrible break-up, but this video actually gave me so much hope. The only thing I'll really have to work on is on the fourth one, since I have social anxiety and it's difficult for me to really feel everything will be alright when I want to talk to people, but still, I'm making a lot of progress. I love your videos so much! Thank you
Now I realize even more that I need to get away from where I stay right now. But I don't have the money to start a new hopeful and exciting life of my own.
I share the same sentiment. I want so badly to start a new life of my own away from the place i am right now but unfortunately financial issues constantly restrict my every action. And so i turn to this one song by Tracy Chapman, called fast car. I freaking love this song
I am in your exact same predicament. I've been saving money but rent is so expensive in NY it feels sometimes like I'm going nowhere. Still, I know I will be leaving soon and I thank God every day for that. I pray we both find ourselves in a better place within the coming year, but that we both understand God will put us exactly where we need to be. Remember that. Peace and love
I totally agree. I want to start over but have nothing to start with. I don't want to stay in the same place of my life forever but I can do nothing about it.
Money issues are related to low self esteem. a person first have to acquire the feeling of self value, belief of deserving the best, not in terms of imbalanced being better than anyone else, but in terms of being valuable as everyone else although with individual needs. when we realise what our individual needs are, when we realise that we deserve to be fulfilled and happy, so we can fully be a wonderful gift to the world, we can get whatever we need, for our personal growth. the energy and thought-shapes would change and rearrange the reality around us. the abundance starts from the self-awareness and balanced self-esteem. here we have a free tool to use on this channel (thank you very much
I’m in the same predicament right now. I wish I could get out. I won’t stop trying though
When the characters hugged it made me happy 💞
The whole video is literally this guy, asking you questions non-stop
the animation in this video is soo cute omg!!!
My ratings out of 10:
self-love: 2
candor: 7
communication: 5
trust: 2
You should take the 16personalities quiz
Personally,
1
3
1
1,
Since I was 5. The kindergarten caretaker being extremely abusive when I was 2 is the main reason for it.
*MY RATINGS OUT OF 10
SELF LOVE=8
CANDOR=8 1/2
COMMUNICATIONS=8
TRUST=6*
My communication is 0
Self love - 3
Candor - 9
Communication - literally either 2 or 8
Trust - 3
This was super rewarding - I have been in therapy for a year now consistently. If I took this "test" a year ago it would be worse than today. Hope to return later and be able to answer more positively still. Thank you!
Same! I'm proud of us
This YT channel might save someone's life
So satisfying to click on a video and have what you came for right at the beginning. I actually clicked on the video and started skipping 30 seconds before I realized it wasn’t just you asking to like comment and subscribe and telling us about your patreon or something.
To anyone who ends up here: we are all a bit broken in one way or the other. The part of us that wants us to improve is the same one which does not condone our small mistakes. We are the mixture of all things good and bad and we can always learn. It's hard but learning to love yourself is a beautiful experience. Stay positive and keep working on yourself. 😊
aww thanks for ur kind words
damn this made me feel good. this really summed up my transition from adolesence to adulthood. from no longer considering suicide, but only wondering about when would be the right time to waking up excited to get things done again and being content with the daily struggles and discomforts; never however taking life lightly
This made no sense to me
With nobody in my life, I experience very little emotions at all. It seems most emotions are stimulated by other humans. Since I have no other humans in my life, emotions are very few and far between each other. It is a very simple, stable, predictable, very affordable life when there is nobody else in your life. Social isolation has a tremendous amount of benefits. I recommend all try it. If you find you can not exist without being a member of a social herd, you can likely reassimilate back into a social herd and lose a lot of individuality.
@i .candy I find lack of emotion to be very calming since most emotions I experienced were quite negative, when I was social. Things are much more logical, orderly, and with purer purpose when analysed without emotion. Problems are much easier to solve. Learing is much quicker. Retention is tremendously higher. Logic and reason now take precedence over emotion. I have taught myself things I would not have been able to accomplish as a social person and an emotional person. Please note, we are corresponding in English, a language I taught myself. I would like to state that I did not delete emotion from my life. Emotion became greatly diminished, almost disappearing, upon self imposed social isolation. Thus, it would appear that interpersonal, social, interactions stimulated most of my emotions in my life. I have gained so much by deleting the interpersonal, social, aspect of my life. I wish I would have done it long before I actually did it. It may not be the cause in everybody's life. But in my life, forcing myself to be social definitely stimulated almost all my emotions, which were almost entirely negative emotions.
the voice of the girl at the end of this clip is just so sweet !!!!
One of the best I have seen. You are doing a great service to humanity 🙏🏼
Failure is the greatest teacher.
Metal music has been a healthy outlet for emotions for me
Tom Cunnington agreed ! Soilwork is my new fav
2:06-2:39 for reference. I personally think that our true motives will always be unpleasant even if we are acting in a way that people consider to be 'nice'. It may be because we are under the eyes of others whom we may want to impress or to satisfy ourselves that we really are this amiable person. We are capable of lying to ourselves into thinking that we actually act of a kind heart when we act like it. the characteristic of being nice is pushed by society as a trait of the ideal human. At times, we act nice because we want to attain this image for ourselves. If this is true, someone who is fully aware of the thoughts that their brain unconsciously skips over, would be true to their real intentions. Following true intentions is not falling into hatred and apathy for others. This is because there is a reward to living a kind lifestyle. Although you may recognize that nobody is kind from their heart, others do not. They blindly compliment you for friendly actions and lie to themselves that you are a nice person. One of our most common desires seems to be the impression that others have on us. Therefore, a self-conscious man might act kind with the full knowledge just for others to think highly of you. So you may ask: Then how is the self-conscious man different from the blinded man? Both will act kind at similar situations. A self-conscious man will not be kind when he is alone. He will not resemble the traits of an amiable man because he knows that the characteristic is impossible to obtain. If we are a capable of reading our true progression of thoughts, we avoid useless actions (in terms of the result of that action).
I may be completely wrong. The things we see everyday pushes facts into our brains until we accept them as truths without questioning why. I admit that I am a victim of this as I am a human under the influence of my parents, friends, media, and the events around me. therefore, my beliefs may be clouded as well. However, to me this is the most logical explanation.
please don't be scared to read it. I want to see how others think about this subject.
So, you are basically asking whether someone's intentions matter when the outcome is the same? It depends on the person. If someone pretends they're a paragon of justice while they are only doing it for approval, it still builds expectation and trust for the people around them. So if there is no one around to impress, will they still be kind? But if someone pulls a paarthurax and tries to be better, while they have a rather rotten character normally, then I even find that very admirable. I agree with you that people will always have selfish intentions to a certain extend. Most of human behaviour is build around self interest, even the kinds that society deems as good and charitable. If one's intentions steer clear of hurting others unnecessarily, then no it doesn't matter. The outcome doesn't change and the positive influence stays. The school of life posted a video a while ago about how even "good people" can have nasty thoughts and intentions, but it doesn't matter since they don't act on them.
Kamilla Van Der Molen I agree with almost everything you stated. The one part that I differ from your opinion is that there are some who actually are acting out of good intent. As of now, I can divide three ways of thought before someone takes a kind action.
1. He/she is fully aware that kind actions are not out of real intent and do it anyways for the beneficial outcome.
2. He/she lies to himself that they are working towards the ideal personality of kindness while they 'practice' their kindness. They have similar intentions as scenario 1, but deceive themselves into justifying this set of actions with a worthy cause.
3. He/she feels a certain urge to be kind. This is not because they are naturally kind. Parents, teachers, and the media push the idea that people who are kind are better than people who are evil. It is painfully apparent that, movies glorify good people and the action themselves. When we ignore a struggle homeless man, we feel guilt only because we are brainwashed into thinking that we should drop them a dollar instead. There is a reason why this is an urge. It does not entail a logical thought process behind the scenes. It's simple an emotion we feel without baseless logic. When society drills certain ideas into us, our answers to certain questions and scenarios become instantaneous and are out a developed instinct.
Ultimately, nobody is nice in heart. It is impossible. How could we override millions of years of evolution that tells us to survive no matter the cost? We will never attain the traits we consider desirable.
Consider that most of my ideas are based on my experiences. Often times I stop myself to think from a broader perspective and to question what my original desires are behind an action. If I know the origin and the action that I ended up taking, I can easily fill the middle with the thoughts that took from a desire to an action.
u u I have to admit that I usually do helpful things mostly out of my personal ideals(so I am the liar I suppose) . The biblical "treat others as how you like to be treated" sort of thing and even that is because I firmly believe it's the lesser of many evils. When I think back at my "noblest" of actions even they are fuelled by self interest in a way. Most of the times I remember someone else helping me in a certain matter, and how grateful and relieved I felt towards them, so I help someone else and hope they experience the same. Not that I desire their gratitude towards me, just the positive feeling, and that in return makes me feel good. It makes me feel that even though I'm a grain of sand in the beach that is life, I can still contribute some positivity. If you retrace the steps it always leads to some sort of reward.
Yes I have been shaped by society and the ideals they indoctrinate into people's heads, but certain things aren't so bad imo. Some people need those ideals and even the shadow of law enforcement lurking over them to properly function and be happy in this world. I believe that if those ideas and rules weren't implemented, human civilization would fall into chaos, and I would have grown up to be a huge cunt.
Also you seem like a very thoughtful, intelligent person. I need to focus quite a bit to keep up with your level and not divert too much. Most of what you say really speaks to me, but I wouldn't have been able to put it into words like you did :D
I like discussing these subjects with someone that is better at it, then I can at least learn something. Even though they might look down on me.
Kamilla Van Der Molen Thank you for openly sharing your thoughts with me. I am relieved that I found someone that echoes many of my own beliefs.
Just one more thing I would like to point out. You seem to have baseless hope for our world when you claim that some people need misconceptions for the better. I believe that those are conclusions that we cannot come to. No matter what environment we may reside in, we lack the ability to look from a unbiased perspective. Your hope is just a way to protect yourself from the harm that our world is filled with flaws. Any sort of organization or system (like a government or an ecosystem) will cast a veil before or eyes. That is something that is inevitable. What I'm trying to say is that, it doesn't matter that humanity is full of lies. That's how it's supposed to be and will always be. One way around it is a change of the brain. Our brain runs through certain patterns at chain reactions. we will eventually run through certain patterns that we will jump to the end of a chain of thought without evaluating the other parts. I am no scientist, but I am guessing that much of this has to do with how our brain works. We pay the price to be organized in our brains and in governments.
We do not have to change the way we live because self deception is inevitable. There is no ideal government that will grant us more knowledge as well. If we are taught that slavery is way of life, we would not demand otherwise. A society is only unjust when the citizens are not granted freedoms relative to other countries or the past. If our perspectives are in agreement, we will not ask for revolutionary change.
The only ways that this knowledge helps me in daily life is that I am capable of reading the minds of others and I am assured that I am partially out of the chains of misconception.
And don't refer to me as superior in thought. I happened to come across events that triggered said thoughts.
I have an emotion disorder so i know im not healthy. Life is an uphill struggle. These videoes bring me a sense of peace.
I like settling for inauthenticity and misunderstanding. It makes me feel alive.
Just as I suspected...I'm emotionally screwed up
Everybody is atleast a little screwed up. Life chews up and spits out many people.
Read the bible
Breno Santana You just cured my depression.
Ambie Bambie Really?
Ambie Bambie How i did that?
it's 2018 no one is emotionally healthy expect for children
i'm stupid but if there’s no healthy parents there can’t be a healthy child. All our mental health issues start from our first few years of life.
Children are damaged these days too
Wrong
Nah everyone is broken and sad except vegan people ?
@@saminarose80 to true
I only see relative people and problems in comment sections, but I never see any people with same problems in real world everybody seem to be happy with their life, and so fucking different from me, that I better stay alone because when I within others I feel lonely.
Most people try to hide it, I'd say only a few people are truly happy the majority of the time
I wish people were mere outspoken about all this. But quite often as soon as you start talking about a subject like this people will try and end or divert the conversation. They are too afraid of what they might find.
Even among friends there's no one willing to be truly honest. I'd say I'm probably the most honest one in that I try to communicate my feelings knowing how unreasonable they may be sometimes. The world could be a much better place if we truly tried to understand each other.
Many people put on a facade to look happy. However are in a more depressing place then you think.
Well one good thing is coming out of quarantine.. self reflection and self therapy
This video speaks of very common situations we go through, yet it's very depressing. You have touched all parts of emotional problems, people in general go through
Best marker of emotional health: not getting swept up in our emotions.
I'm fucked up...
same
Manraj Deol we all are
What are you gonna do about it?
Don Chello I like you. You are a real "Nigga" as black people would say.
Manraj Deol there is not a single person alive who isn't.
I have no money, no friends, I'm surrounded by enemies, my family hates me, life is great!
Get a job somewhere else and forget them
medviation me too
Therapy & Exercise should be encouraged in society.
I'm in love with this person's voice
This hit really hard, I wish I saw this sooner before the damage I caused was done
i'm emotionally constipated
I started crying about 5 seconds in. I have such a bad relationship with my self love. Today I stopped a relationship with a man who wasn't treating me right and I was letting him. The first step in recovery is often the hardest.
beautifully written
We all have problems sadly
Getting out of bed every morning is a huge challenge for me. Living is hard
It also doesn’t help that they’re comfortable as hell
It gets better ❤️ keep on keeping on.
Practically awesome way to try and reflect on who we really are when it comes to dealing with people.
Your voice! Omg I could listen to it forever. 💗 calm and pleasant. Just clicked on this video out of curiosity. Been listening to motivational speeches for depression.
Who cried watching this? Just me? Ok.
Nope, yo're just one of the few who'll admit it...
I felt mad , becuz i see my self and my negative feeling that i got all time
I had to pause. Im here in the commnets about to start hyperventilating. You're not alone.
My physical and mental health is a wreck and im very afraid for my well-being. I wanna be well.
Me
Learing english for almost 7 years in school and I really dont know want you are saying so many words I have never heard
Sad story
Vanessa Bell same story. I did my schooling and cllg in english but i m weak in english. And the prob with these videos are they use high vocab which is too hard to get.
I never used to understand anything when i first started watching this channel video. But now i search for the vocabulary they used and try to make sentences understandable . It is time consuming and very tough without any mentoring. But worth doing it. You will improve one day. I m improving bit by bit.
I started commenting on youtube channel and reading others comments. It helps me in framing sentences.
Keep learning english and keep at it! I'm a native english speaker and go to university for engineering and I still have to watch these videos 3 or 4 times before I can actually fully understand the messages and meaning
Vanessa, Duolingo is a wonderful website to learn a new language. Just give it a try. It is for free. You can also always click on the description under this video to read the text and check the words you don't understand.
All the best :- )
I suggest you to go the website, which is bookoflife, and read the exact topic, goodluck buddy
That's the accent. You'll get used to dealing with it
All of this is irrelevant to me coz I have no relationships
All you need is a relationship with yourself, which you will always have, regardless of how good or bad it is.
Do you act like that with your friends, crush or people you engage with?
On the contrary : Isolation is not a sign of health.
Read the bible
freinds family?
I love how much this feels like the narration done in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Emotional health and emotional intelligence are interesting components of human nature. Thanks for sharing.
I remember when I was happy and carefree, and mentally secure...
And then I started having to adult.
Ugh.
The middle finger in the office at the boss was my favorite 😆
jesus..
1. I hate myself.. Not because of envy, but because i feel useless and ugly.
2. I'm pretty good on the second part. I suppose that's why i'm here and not hanging myself in a bathroom somewhere. lol
3. Communication, hmm... i have been getting better at the facade of humanity. i felt like shit my whole life and each year i wish to be more and more isolated. Unfortunately or should i say fortunately, i need to interact to make money to be able to support myself.
This was a interesting video. If you have some pointers to improve please say it. IDC if it sounds horrible.
Don't hate yourself, Michael. I don't know you, but you sound like a good person. I checked out your channel and saw something on there that looked interesting: HotDamniRock - I checked one of his videos and it made me weep. Maybe it was something to do with the video above about emotional health, maybe it was what you wrote here, or maybe it was what HDR was saying about life ... or maybe a combination of all 3 mixed in with where I am in life today.
Anyway, don't give up, because there is always something in life that comes up and taps you on the shoulder as if to say, 'hey - check this out' and then throws something in front of you that you didn't expect.
I hope, that, maybe, in my small way, I helped do that for you right now.
+ thank you for introducing me to HDR. :)
I have a friend who has a very high estim of himself; he tells me that he knows he is not worth much, but that he still gives importance to himself (not in a narcissistic way). my point being that how you feel about yourself does not need to follow certain standards. I used to hate myself and think that i was ugly, so much so that i convinced myself. with time i got better, and thinking back i realise it was a choice. love yourself for the only reason that you owe it to yourself, whatever your flaws. concerning the fact that you feel ugly, first it is your perception, second you are giving physical appearance too much importance. there are many other aspects that one can develop in oneself that have a lot of impact and that can make one different from others, all of which are internal.
So I'm looking at your comment from 2 yrs ago. Naturally, I wonder where you're at today. I hate myself, too... so much so that if some likes me, I think there s something wrong with them. Can't they see that I'm not funny, interesting, sexy, or particularly bright? I'm a fake... a freud. ... a facade. I don't want to be liked. It annoys the shit out of me.
the fact that you're able to support yourself financially shows you are not useless... someone is willing to pay for you to provide something. Lots of people feel ugly... and lots of people are lol.
@@marquamfurniture do you still hate yourself? If so... why?
One of the best videos if not the Best. It triggers too much at the same time
Loved this video. I love The School Of Life! I definitely am not emotionally healthy so much work to be done. Definite people pleaser. Have been in a few abusive relationships. I'm clingy and anxious 😔.
I am strong af!!!
Divyesh Yeluri VLOGS well good for you I guess
you will fall and be destroyed as we all do
Same, only I’m stronger than f*ck! I AM THE F*CK!!!!!!!!! 💪🏽😎
Be happy for him. If he is as healthy as he says, he would have done the same for you.
I'm surprised with myself too, but we know we've endured a lot of shit just to get this endurance.
I'm so lost by myself. When I'm not validated by others I don't feel alive. I always look out for happiness and know that I should teach myself how to be happy. I can't function on my own.
At this particular time in my life I am really not emotionally healthy and I wish I trusted life more. Wish I trusted myself more. But hopefully things will change soon.
This is beautiful. Thanks for educating about what really matters, our emotional well being and growth
Wow i never thught that a youtube channel could amaze me that much. The school of life is truly representated in your videos. And it's so true. Thank you for speaking the truth in such a nice warm tone and quality.
I couldn’t even get past the title
It’s all in your mind, you create your reality by what you think. You can change your thoughts to change your life around. It’s all up to you 😏
I'm not sure I can even call them emotions anymore.
The animation in this is GOLDEN
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Bandage my wounds... I think a needle and thread would be more appropriate to close the gaping wound I feel I have emotionally and psychologically. I actually cried for about an hour last night thinking of the past 26 years and what my life has amounted to thus far, which is essentially two decades of regret, wasted opportunities, and disappointment. It feel horrible to be so disappointed in yourself.
“For what it’s worth... it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you’ve never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start over again.” F. Scott Fitzgerald