Adult Child Lives at Home and Is Being STUPID With Money!
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I don't get these parents. When I turned 21 I was still living at home and working, my mom made me pay $100/week for rent and if I didn't have it I was about to be put out. If I couldn't afford $400/month how could I afford $800+ somewhere else? Then by the time I was 25 I had the light bill and gas bill as well. It's called tough love parents. Now I'm 34, I clearly know how to budget money, save and pay bills....on my own!
I was exactly the same except my mom gave me a one year grace period when I landed my full time job to make sure it worked out and I was stable then she charged me rent.
God bless my mom who taught me what the value of money 💰 is 😢
How much have you saved up Grayln?
@@Lala-ft1mb I have a savings account and emergency fund account with six months of expenses.
Good parenting . I had to start charging my nephew .
@@grayln I hope that at 34 you have more than just an emergency fund. Otherwise, did they really put you on the right track?
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Went to college and comes out with starting salary of 30k?? Why even go
joel williams In Sweden thats a lot of money and we are a rich country.
But in America no
You don't start at the top, regardless of whether you have a degree
Her momma told her to so she feel guilty
@@theresakeith5854 ofc but starting at 30k is laughable
the daughter is going to cry and she's going to cave
Dave I just want to say that my Dad did this to me, and I thank him every day for doing this to me. I wasn't happy with him at the time, but it caused me to grow up. My life got extremely better and our relationship has also improved for the better.
just got kicked out essentially of my dads... 19... use to be a sports star... jobless... and skipping community college classes. Life’s super hard rn, I hope I can be in your shoes later down the road. my father meant everything to me when my mother and him split years ago. now I’m with my deranged mother and I’m trying to keep my sanity by the day. god bless
My dad did the same to me and I haven't spoken to him in 20 years.
@MissZoey007 You're in a fantasy world
@@laid07 its now 21 years. You guys made up yet?
@@Zeeno No sir! I keep hearing things about him through the grapevine and I run even farther, or in this case further works too, away.
I really don't understand people. If you dont have money you can't spend money. You buy a lousy car, you buy cheaper clothes, you use coupons, you have basic cable, if any. I started out at $16,000 22 years ago. I lived in an apartment with mice and had nothing. I ate peanut butter sandwiches and lived right off the highway. When I made some more money I moved up...slowly. Im not rich now but Im comfortable....it's logic. You cant afford it, don't buy it.
@sanam husain That might be the case if you were talking about a single mother of 6 living in Ethiopia, but you're not. You're talking about someone who has grown up in the west to a middle class family, and who has made stupid financial decisions upon entering adulthood. I'm 16 and I know this. Her parents have every right to be disappointed.
@sanam husain once a child reaches 18 he or she is no longer entitled to blame parents for stupid mistakes. Legally, she's no longer entitled to anything. She can be kicked into the streets.
I here you. I moved to same Little Canada district a lot of my family once lived at when I was starting out after school. Had a metal folding chair, small tv, playstation 1, few dvds and cds, one set of cookware/dishes/utensils. I have house now, need get a better vehicle in next year or so but saving up. I started low level and have worked my way up to a mid-paying job so I'm feelin' good about life trying not to take anything for granted.
@allahloves faryaalmakhdoom Get rid of the victim mentality, it will only harm you
Black Hat Ty did the mice like the peanut butter?
I actually did this to my son. 30 days. He's doing great now. His bonus this year was higher than my annual (retirement) income. PS: He's a big Dave fan.
One thing I realised...it's almost a CRIME to not teach your child financial responsibility, good on Dave for pointing out that it was the PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY to teach their child money management
If the child never ask to work see what happen
Poto Somo yeah just thinking parents aren’t the only influence... my boyfriend’s parents are both shocking with money constantly buying stuff on credit... but he is a saver. I remember his mum being annoyed at him when we saved enough to go to europe (from australia) and see his grandpa (her dad) which she hadn’t done for 20+ years!
I don’t think that something you should blame on the parent if your a not financial responsible then learn don’t blame your parents no is born smart but every one is born with the ability to learn and grow.
Thanks for the perspectives guys. EDIT: Even though I think financial responsibility a crucial skill that parents should teach - it's not the parents 'fault', nor are they to 'blame' - blaming parents is terrible strategy that leads to much resentment and hatred, it can destroy your life. One must find out the best way to manage his resources using tools like the internet, and be grateful no matter how he or she was brought up.
My parents and even my grandparents weren't financially responsible.
Out of school, living with my parents rent-free but am attacking my student loans and driving a used car that I paid off. I do the dishes, feed the cats, and keep my bathroom clean. I look forward to renting my own space once I'm debt-free and can afford rent/utilities/etc.
Liana Kriebel looking for a bf ?
No No no no I’m sure
You need therapy, your parents didn't teach you that borrow up to your eyebrows, and live for today. ~~~sarcasm~~
Youre so good and responsible your parents must be proud! Good luck in life
@allahloves faryaalmakhdoom Are you serious? She's living rent free
People should stop going to college until they fix that loan BS . how a 46k student loan is worth a 30k job
she will have other opps... a lot of college graduates start off wiht lower paying jobs, but they will eventually find a better place or move up in their organization... without the degree, she has less opportunities... there are a lot of jobs that don't necessarily depend on a specific degree, but that you have one and people like me who never finished my degree, and after several decades of being a mom, I can't get a job to save my life unless I want to work fast food or convenience store... I am only 10 classes away from graduating, and if I ever do, I would totally consider a 30K job to start if nothing better comes along
changlensher charles i remember taking my daughter to college visits and listening to the college rep discuss how great their school was, and the kid had graduated and had a degree in business management and decided to work for the college. Thats the smart thing to do when you get a worthless degree is shmooze your way into academia and make the place that gave you the worthless degree your employer
@@OfftoShambala I know plenty of people including myself, that make more money than those who have a degree. Not having a degree doesn’t mean having less opportunities.
I mean I get about 45k and I’ve been out of college for about a year now with 25k in debt. Yes it’s a lot but not unbearable compared to many others I’ve seen.
With student loan debt, you can't afford a 15k car period!
Can she take public transportation? If yes, it is for her own good!
@@denisestathatos4147 transit isn't cheap. For a regular commuter it can add up to near or even surpass a car payment. Money being blown away for a delusional sacrifice with no benefit. 15 is on the higher side but it'd put her back a max of 2 years, presuming her annual increase gradually increases...
@@MrSiyamson It actually is. Most cities give discounts to students of 50% or in the case of my city pretty much around 65%.
That and not having to bother about car payments,insurance and the occasional repair,it's way better to use public transit
@@MrSiyamson Car insurance, car maintenance, gas, etc. Mass transit is always the way to go. BTW, a car is a depreciating asset. Never wise to get a car that is half your yearly salary in your 20s.
She can't afford that car making 30K.
The kind of father everyone wants to have.
Nah...Mike Brady, pa Ingalls.....
Maybe not the father everyone wants, but he's much like the father everyone needs.
Ram Talks needs
I can't help but think how much of the daughter's foolishness could be attributed to a lack of father's guidance (since the woman is a widow.)
@@npineapple3077 sounds like a really personal opinion. Real personal.
I remember being stupid with money and I just needed someone to be straight up and brutally honest to tell me I was being stupid. My best friend, practically my sister, chewed me out for having so little in my savings as a 24 year old living at home. I went home that night and realized how stupid I had been. I was working, so I wasn't just doing nothing, but given that I only gave 10% of my income to help my parents with the mortgage and bills I should have been able to pay back so much more of my loans and have way more in savings by then.
People just need to be called out so that they realize.
I already told myself imma have bout 20k to 40k by the time I leave I’m finishing up my list of supplies for my apartment my business will be a 5 figures and going on to 6 figures I only focus on growth and expansion assets generational wealth so by 26 I’ll be a millionaire no doubt.
If only we had taught our kids how to be financially prepared. 😃
I had two kids... tried to teach them about being financially prepared and good spending habits, one listened, the other didn't... you can bring a horse to water, but they might not drink... maybe some kids need different watering holes and it is hard to know which watering hole they need.
😃
What what point in adulthood, do you finally gain more knowledge than what your parents taught you?
I just don’t understand how people can be so disrespectful to their parents
some people actually have reasons
there are some really crazy parents in these situations
not these hill billy dave ramsey kids though they are all dead beats
@donald johnson she's a widow
Parents were, most likely, too self-absorbed or slacking off in the discipline area, during their upbringing.
Some "parents" don't act like parents. If you treat your kids like roommates, they wont treat you like a parents.
Not all parents are deserving of respect at all times. My father acts like a child and has legitimate tantrums sometimes so I don't always respect him.
That’s the best advice as a parent … I am not here to be your friend.
Not much is going to change in this situation. I don't see the mom standing up to her, but I hope that she does.
i agree
She will, when she gets tired of it, mom now knows she not only has options but has been validated with this conversation, mom already knew what to do, just needed somebody to tell her it's okay.
Too many times parents are echoing words of their own fears ''I don't want my kids going through what I went through''. Only problem is children are hardwired to go their own path, they themselves will ultimately go through their own brand of hardships and when the children have kids of their own the echo will sound again just as if it was the begining.
The mom needs to simply shut up and show the daughter this 10 minute segment.
That way it’ll be much easier for the mom to say it. The daughter will have a hard time arguing with a famous professional of money management
I see her trying, but I fear the outcome of that. It may drive a wedge between them if her daughter doesn't see the light and accept the terms being laid out. If that happens... and it's a very real possibility... will her mother be firm enough to follow through and not "cave" under the emotional pressure. That's my concern.
If someone is living in my house, they're going to follow my rules. End of story. If they don't like my rules, they can find their own place to live.
My rules are not unreasonable and I always have good reasons for them.
When I was in my twenties, I lived in a condo by myself and paid rent to my parents. I didn't want to live by their rules, so I moved out. As a result, I had to pay my own way and had to learn valuable lessons about the real world the hard way.
Now I am glad my parents loved me enough to make me move out. It taught me responsibility and how to take care of what I own.
Same
and if you're going to stay home, you also pay rent/utilities/food/lawn care and help clean, cook, etc. (If you're not paying rent because you're in school or a crisis, you should be helping, keeping your room clean, etc.)
Apron Acres people are entitled and parents let their children stay for free indefinitely.
Every house is different
If they need to come home for a short amount of time sure to help them out, but not indefinitely. As parents you are not going to be here forever. Our job is to raise them to be adults who are able to take care of themselves. If they never learn to take care of themselves when you're gone how are they going to take care of themselves. They will be ripe for any con artist looking for someone to live off of. Especially if you leave them some money in a will. I remember my son telling me when he went to college there were a lot of kids that didn't even know how to wash their clothes in a washer and dryer. SMH. Now you know that's pathetic!!!!!!!
Apron Acres Amen
Well if you do that then there’s no point for them to even live at home
My wife and I were in tight financial times. I needed a car. I bought my step-daughters 9 year old Camry with 115,000 miles instead of what I wanted. She got more than the dealer offered her for trade-in, I got a good practical car. Hurt my pride. Not a year later I realized it was one of the smarter moves I made. Put 120,000 more miles on it with no car payments. Don't have any memory of those folks I failed to impress. Real life sucketh greatly, but sometimes you got to live it.
flyingmerkel6 camrys will go forever man had a 97 w over 350000 miles no problems but normal maintenance, saved BIG
@@gsd5.785 After I could afford a new(er) truck, I sold the Camry for half of what I paid for it. The kid who bought it is still driving it.
flyingmerkel6 I’m 24 and have had a 03’ Camry for 4 years now, 110,000 miles on it. Not the prettiest but gets me from a-b with no debt. Love it.
flyingmerkel6 brilliant
Me , almost 40, still with my dad (parents divorced) because of extremely poor financial decisions.
This video is a wake up call and a slap in the face for me. Need to move out once I get certain things straightened out ASAP.
how about now ?
it's been a year now.....did you get your shit straight yet?
Same I’m 21 and my dad be doing everything for me to a certain extent and I feel he don’t really care about my future and I realized his actions effecting me so I’m moving out in a year I’m going to work two jobs and really mature myself
Really almost 40 this short video is your wake up call???? Where have you been since 18?????
@@formula112967 what's that noise? I think it's crickets. Are you thinking what I'm thinking. People who are irresponsible will most times remain irresponsible.
first year of college i had a monthly allowance, i blew it in a week, then called my parents - my mom said i am sorry , i was very clear when i told you this is for a month - now figure out how you will survive till end of month. It was so humiliating asking people for money promising to return them asap...next month when i got my allowance it still wasn't enough as i had debt to repay...i will never forget this humiliation ,but i did it to myself hahaha :)
My mom kicked me out when I was 19. At the time, I was SO ANGRY!! But I got over that pretty quick when responsibility smacked me in the face. I learned my lesson within 3 months. I crawled back to her and she helped me fix my life. Mom usually knows best. I hope she follows through with Dave's advice.
tra1215 you’re mom Is my hero. I did the same to my 19 year old lol 😂
What caused it?
I left at 16 because my Mom is mentally ill. Mother doesn't always know best. The best lessons I learned are from staying away from any advice she gave.
@Milan because college can't fix some people. The only way to get through to them is to let them experience life on their own.
@Milan my husband didn't want to go to college but was "sent there" he dropped out a few months later and still had to pay all that money for the semester. What he really needed was the school of hard knocks, which is what helped him the most. He did have a few hard years with low paying jobs but then he worked his way up and ended up with a successful company. Then in 08 when the economy went way down his company did also, so he decided to leave it to his business partner who could easily live off the small income that was coming in at that time. So he joined the military which was the best decision ever. He absolutely loves his job and plans to do more than 20 years.
dave ramsey a solid man mentally. i didn't realize how much emotion can go into finances
Or he's an affluent joke that preaches to other affluent scumbags and idiots who are stupid enough to buy into his tat.
@@xijinping4418 sounding like a smoothed brained Neanderthal
@@xijinping4418 that’s a huge yikesss bud. Very close-minded of you.
@@xijinping4418 Why are you here?
I had a hard life grow n up… at 14 I had a child been on my own since …. I’m now 35 … i wrk hard n save and nobody thought me how to do it…. Fearing of go n back to a life I hate made me do it!
This is so true. The more you do for your kids, the worse off they'll be. My mother used to do everything for me. I had to take over things like laundry and packing my lunches one by one and tell her to stop because I knew it hurting my development as an adult. Even getting my car back from the garage, I want to take the bus when she offers to drive me because I want do everything myself. Now I'm looking for a house to buy. After high school, the less you do for your kids, the better.
I guess they'll love seeing my dead body then. Sounds like good parenting to me.
I used to live with my mom after college for a year but I paid rent and my own groceries. When I moved out (which my mom didn’t want me too 😭). It was such an easy transition because my mom helped me by building responsibility in me. I bought my first car cash and live under my means. I thank my mom for raising me well 🙏
*to
the best parent satisfaction is when your kids call you later after being on their own and say "I'm sorry...I understand"
I am taking notes as a Mom with a 5 year old. My Husband and I agree, when my son turns 18 years old, he had 2 options: go to school, get good grades and live at home OR move out. Once school is over, I think a transition time is fine but there has to be a limit. As much as I love my son and I don't him to be my baby forever... my job is to help him mature into a functioning adult. God help me along this journey.
Samantha Smiles my son is 13 and I keep telling him the same: school or work to stay living in my house.
My step mom and dad had a rule with my half siblings. They had 3 months after graduation where they could live there rent free but after that bye bye so you better have a job and be saving money. My sister was able to get job right out of college and wanted to live near her job and not have to commute as far so she moved out less than a month later. My brother learned a trade and moved out a few months after school but my parents told him if he wants to move back the the area he can live there for one month as long as he is working than after that bye bye. I will say this, start teaching your child financial responsibility before they are 18. I got a job at 16 and a car at 17 which I paid for and I paid my mom my share of the insurance money so I had to budget to make sure I had money for my car as well as saving money school.
The problem is that parents these days force their kids to go to college and get saddled with student loan debt, then they act all innocent when the bills come. Parents have to learn to be supportive and stay out of the kids way so they can grow up into responsible adults.
Adrian Paris I agree.
30 a year is not a good starting salary
For $46 000+ of education, defiantly not.
And what do you think they start with ? You don’t make 100K right away , some people 😑
@@carmelina182 Very few exceptions to the rule. My cousin got a secure job with Google making $110K a year + $50K bonuses as soon as he finishes his senior year of college. I'm very happy for him. Still. Had I known I was going to start at $48K, I would've just worked my way up instead of go to college.
Mi Da lol your mentality is so lame “ when you start saying my cousin bla bla bla “ please I know a lot of people that they work their way to the top
carmelina182 You constantly condescend others for being “ignorant” but you can barely type a sentence correctly. You are such a hypocrite.
I told my kids one of my most important jobs was to teach them that life is unfair.
me too.....i help when i can but not equally to my 3 adult childfen. Sometimes a holiday, sometimrd childcare and sometimes a car and sometimes money. Now i a. not working i have to put me first.
On my college graduation day, my mother handed me the car ins. bill and the bill for a credit card that was used for my food and emergencies only. The credit card had a $2300 balance. I was a bit annoyed, then got to work.
excllent that part of the "condtions" were to sign onto his university course! haha lol
Gee, my parents told me that when I turned 18 I was on my own, coming back to live at home was not an option. They had raised me to be independent (they were absolutely not helicopter or coddling parents) and said that I needed to figure out how to survive in life on my own without them. I was a good kid with good grades and responsible. I left for college at age 17 (almost 18) and have been on my own ever since. Oh and they didn't help with college, either, I got through 4 years at a private college with scholarships, student loans, grants and working several part-time minimum wage jobs while carrying a full academic load and still graduated with a 3.6 average (out of 4.0).
Boomer parents have not done their children any favors with their helicoptering and enabling and and "we're friends" parenting style. Now they AND their children are suffering the consequences. [Yes, I realize this is a broad generalization and there are exceptions.]
Your parents told you that. 18 year olds for the most part are too young to be on their own.
@@markpalavosvrahotes5575 lol. Why are they too young to be on their own?
46k student loans for a 30k job...
Right?! Thats what i make working as a customer sales associate
To be fair, the 46k isn't annual. The 30k is annual. She could pay it off in less than 2 years if she really wanted too
@@jimba6486 that is right
@@thegalaxycosmos7703 You do realize you pay more in income taxes than you would in making payments on student loan debt if you setup your repayment plan up properly, right? $46k in student loan debt with a 6.8% APR amortized over 30 years would result in a $300 monthly payment, or $3,600 per year, for principal and interest. A $30k a year salary would likely result in $5k to $6k a year in federal income taxes paid by a single person with no dependents to claim; I'd rather pay the student loan debt than pay income taxes, the latter of which are forever certain and inescapable; at least student loan debt can be deferred or put into forbearance, or can be potentially discharged or forgiven; debt is better than taxes period!
She probably majored in a useless thing.
A widow is not going to kick her own daughter out in 30 days. Landlords can’t even do that.
My dog Layla not a landlord..rules don't apply...if it was my kid they would be out so fast!
My dog Layla exactly. If she didn't do it already, she's not going to do it now!
Probably 6 months.
20 days here.
@@johnzabik270 sure they would, cuz ur a tough keyboard warrior
Dave's got the right idea about parenting. It's the parents job to get their kids out in the open market without them being sent back as defective.
Great advice - certainly not easy to do with your kid you love, but the best thing for her!
Chicken Hues 25 is not a child!
Chicken Hues 25 is not a "kid"!
She sounds like a "kid" to me - 25 or not!
Chicken Hues childish handling money
I think this is horrible advice.
The Bible is clear that the fault lies with the parents and their lack of parenting. In my opinion many of these kids are coddled and are not informed of the realities of life then when they turn 18 they're just expected to somehow get it.
avader5 I'm an atheist and I agree. Lol
The bible? You think all deadbeat adult children living at home are the children of Christians? Really?
You seriously have some issues
@@marieel3225 so none of your atheist friends have adult children living with them? You are not only atheist you are stupid
@@tinamoore7906 stop crying...
@@Hilbrandi I will when you stop being stupid
Mom will be paying for all of her bills soon, if she isn't already
JETLIFEJASON Exactly
If only wages kept up with cost of living... and college was still a grand per semester like it was in the 70s....
People love to tout “personal responsibility” which is of course important but we have to also acknowledge this fact! Being a young adult today is not the same as when these boomers were starting out, it’s just not!
I looked at the numbers and a majority of people are not going to be able to retire. With stagnant wages and high mortgages with high interest rates and credit card debt, car notes and student loans, plus kids, you don't have much to put into a retirement plan. And the stock market is giving back low returns. It's crazy what the future will hold, if there is a "future" at all.
Julius Faustus tuition has increased much more than anything else! In the 70’s you could get a bachelors for about $3000. We could work and pay for school as we went.
Exactly. Also, 1k in the 70s would be about 6.5K today which is still relatively cheap for a semester (believe it or not). Its as if inflation stayed the same but prices are going up at a higher rate. I see a major recession coming once everything goes back to normal and business and people stop getting stimulus checks
@@hern9897the stock market hasn't changed at all. I don't think you know what you're talking about and you're making excuses.
Do you guys have good jobs?
Do you make saving for retirement a priority or you buy stuff you want.
You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Stop making excuses for the poor decisions that you are making.
Kids are so unprepared for life these days.
That is because parents are so unprepared to be parents these days.
@@jdubo1998 it’s more because parents are trying to be friends than parents and are emotionally stunting their growth by not training them up to be adults.
@@SnookOnTheFly Yep, dumb parents raising dumb kids equals dumb squared. No wonder we get dumber each generation.
What happens to adult children living at home when their parents pass away?
They keep the house most of the time
@@joeysbestfriend2614 If no second mortgage and paid off. Otherwise, they experience in their 40s and 50s what should have happened in their early 20s........"Get a job and take care of yourself".
I'll answer that question for you when my former friend's mom gets called home. 30 years old, lives at home, and plays video games all day, every day and does not like the ideas of responsibilities. Basically a man-child.
@@mida8261 Holy Moly, I think we have the same friend! Lol.
They finally learn to do things for themselves. 😂🤣😉
I’ve gotta a PHD in DUMB. 😂. Love Dave Ramsey
30,000 good starting salary with a degree? I made that working during the summer that’s ridiculous.
Does the daughter go out and party on the weekend, since Mom gives her a free place to stay?
If they work full time they can live on their own bye
Yep.
I don't care what they do, they just can't do it here. Figure it out. If you want some advice I'd be happy to help.
As a Brit I love watching this guy (obviously our world's work differently) but underperforming children is mutual
Baltimore is expensive to live. Let her aggressively pay off debt and move out in a few years.
I recently had to do this with a friend. We both grew up in a tiny town with little to no opportunities and she wanted to get out and move to my city, so I told her she could stay with me for a few weeks while she found an apartment and a job, and instead she refused to work, spent all her money, and then stole and spent mine.
It ended with my sister and I dropping her off at a homeless shelter and she hates me now, but the path she was taking would have taken us both down.
Super hard to do when it’s just a friend... would probably be harder with a child, but unfortunately it’s the only right thing to do.
I never worry about people hating me. You simply could not afford her.
I don't understand how these people who get all kinds of help from their families have so much debt.
Dont value money
entitlement, that is how.
Yasss he is right....I wish my mom would have done that to me years ago!!! This is a great idea...I hope she listens and not afraid of her daughter! That is tough love...we all need!! I NEEDED IT BAD!! I AM LEARNING AND I AM GROWING INTO FINANCIAL STABILITY FROM BEING DUMB AS HECK WITH MONEY!!
"She hasn't listened before so why would she listen now?"
People not from the US Find is so weird that our parents ‘want to kick us out’. I don’t think it’s they can’t wait to get us out, but we have a culture that encourages independence heavily. People work harder when they know it’s so they or their family can survive/have nice things or they’re trying to set theirselves up for a good future. I’m not saying the ‘American Dream’ is accessible to everyone sadly, but the dream was made by people who left what they knew to be prosperous. When you don’t do that and you stay in the same place here it just looks lazy
I wanted to be out. My mom and dad were separated, my mom didn't think to save money for my education. I lived with my grandparents during college and my grandfather bought me an $800 car cash. I worked and went to a jr. College. I wanted to be out because even though I was supported, I was incredibly sheltered. I moved out and learned so much and grew to know who I was instead of letting my family tell me what to do.
Plenty of lazy irresponsible people who don’t live with their parents. So I don’t believe there’s any correlation there
My mom kicking me out was one of the best things shes ever done for me. (We never had a good relationship) I went straight to the recruiter and did 6 years in the navy. Now I’m out back in school debt free, school paid for and getting a monthly housing allowance. Thanks mom.
Well done sir.
Welcome to the school of hardknocks
There's a price cost to staying in moms basement and reasons mom puts up with it
When you didn't train your kids as kids this is what happens. Madness...
Schools are also to blame; Teenage daycare.
Eric Smyth yes. taught everything except how to survive
I've noticed that enablers (great word to describe her) are almost as hard to change than the people who are doing self destructive behavior. I really hope I'm wrong, but it might take a while for her to listen to this advice.
Credit is a tool, but it can absolutely become your undoing.
I wish she would have shut those dogs up
I wish Dave with his financial wisdom was my Dad...my life could be totally different 😞
Thought she said "can't convince my crackhead daughter" and had to replay it a few times
My parents never taught me finances so I had to go out in the world and learn on my own
It is very complicated. Spend less than you earn. Save for the future. Don't get married and don't have kids. You will retire in your 40s.
"I can't convince my rock head daughter to, like, listen..." Yeah, I'm sure it's all the daughters fault.
Actually, at 25, it is now. Maybe the parents weren't very good at parenting, but she's now at the age where she needs to own it and deal with it. I've seen kids that have come from far worse, and have turned it around.
The daughters 25! It is her fault.
I mean it is. She's 25.
My ex is 26, hasn't had to work. His mom is an enabler and her car was repo'd. He solely depends on his mom, cannot make decisions on his own. I had to get out of that situation, it frustrated me so much.
I agree chubby.. the mother created this problem and she was making excuses why the daughter can't leave.
I don't need the kid to be dead free to leave. Just leave. Figure it out. I'll give you advice if you want some.
If you need money you can go to work.
"Hi Dave, I spent my entire daughter's life showing her how to be irresponsible with money, hence my reason for just NOW taking FPU...and for some reason my ROCK HEAD daughter won't listen to my new way of doing things! After 25 years! Can you believe that?!"
They are both guilty and she needs to take some of the blame. At least Dave told her she was an enabler.
Thank You, Dave. I learned so much from you and your videos. I live away from my parents and probably won’t get these advices from them. I’m living on my own at the age of 23. No debt and has savings. I’m proud of what I have become. I became more responsible in terms of my financial situation. All thanks to you!!!
"Adult Child'. That's an inherent contradiction if I ever heard one!
What do you call a child over the age of 18?
Ronny Paul great paradox.
@@mr.balloffur An adult
@@DisabilityExams So I don't have 2 children over the age of 20, I just have adults? My kids are my kids regardless of age.
Well a parent would never say "my adults" instead of "my children", regardless of age.
"Out of college, money spent
See no future, pay no rent
All the money's gone, nowhere to go"
- You Never Give Me Your Money, The Beatles
But Oh, that magic feeling..
I moved out of the house at 18, had my first job when I was 15 and Ive just always been responsible but even being responsible at a young age it got REALLY REAL for me once I was on my own. Once I went off to college I was on my own and you just learn to be resilient and resourceful for yourself. I couldn't just call my mom and dad and ask for what I needed. I had full time class, full time job, paid my own way through college. I had to learn to provide for myself and it really does help you grow as a person.
Amen! AND I bet like me you appreciate everything that you have accomplished on your own, because nothing was just handed to you.
My dad never spent time with me or taught me anything, he just left me to do w.e and expected me to figure it out, but luckily I took care of myself
Felt that. Really felt that. Not even bad parents, but definitely not good parents. Just parents that exist.
I was waiting for him to tell her how she is the one setting the future son in law up for disaster.. because of your poor lack of knowledge and discipline, he will be put on clean up duty as she demands him to do what the mom did to her instead of her being a wise help meet. This is why I homeschooled my children as a single mom of 4 and yes I bought everyone the Dave Ramsay system and taught it. We perish for the lack of knowledge. We must be born again and holy spirit filled to get wisdom to walk the straight and narrow. I pray she and anyone else REPENT AND FOLLOW JESUS..
my issue is that im 31 and my mom lives with me, i pay $700 to rent, $209 car, $58 insurance and my own food, gas, and everything else, im in past debts but recovering slowly as debt takes time to recover from, i was always brought up to pay my way no matter how much i had left over, at the age of 31 im just now realizing how much it means to get out of debt and pay bills on time, dad died when i was 11 and was just always told to save save save but nothing about credit.
Great advice :) So we can learn and grow up:) I am so greatful to go through FPU and started making better decisions:)
Shut that dog up
30k a year is poor.
depends on what part of the country, here in Pittsburgh the cost of living is cheap, my furnished 1 bedroom is 605 a month plus electric. Not bad for a place ten minutes from Downtown Pittsburgh.
@@justinehrlichman9155 rent is CA where I am is 1500. 30k is below the poverty line.
60k is poor. I can barely live in it and it's just me
@Milan where is that?
@Milan beautiful country! Would love to visit maybe even live. Find a nice las....
if the mother forces her daughter to move down in car , when something goes wrong with that cheaper car , the daughter will blame the mother , it will sound like this , "i had a good car but you made me sell it", thats what the daughter will say , daughter needs to realize on her own she could not afford the car.
Definitely mom's fault for not teaching early..
Blaming fixes nothing at all. Something I learned from my dad "Parents do the best they know how to do until they know how to do better."
blahh blah blaming fixes nothing in this situation, but realizing it's parents responsibility to plant good seeds may help current or future parents. It's a teachable situation.
Perhaps mom didn't learn about managing her finances until later in life
Agree
It's clearly the father's fault for dying
Preaching and nagging your adult children is not going to make them do what you want. You have got to let this lady make her own mistakes...she is 25...not 5.
Yes Shannon, exactly.
If you don't have don't spend. I left home at 18 and I was fine. Now I'm 43 never went back since and never will. You suppose to live your life like your parents not here because eventually they will not be here. If you can't be independent while your parents still here you are in serious trouble. The problem is some people spending money that they don't have and it lead to debt.
"If you don't have, don't spend"
Tell that to people who normalized being in debt and thinking owing money is totally fine. My older sister is just like that.
I think this girl has a good shot at getting her things together. Mom who cares and is able to take part of the fault for her behaviors and she sounds like she's going to be firm. Mom is to be a mom not a buddy who doesn't worry about tomorrow. Once the daughter knows what Mom meant when real life kicks in, I think their going to grow close.
Daughter has no interest in paying off debt. She needs to be booted out.
Ultimatum. You will do THIS, or you're out of here in 30 days.
I usally invest my money into my business and focus on assets and generational wealth I’m currently finishing up my supplies list for my apartment and I’ll be purchasing a new car soon and get nice high rise. apartment in Texas
Jeez just do a breakdown on the numbers. And then hopefully she picks the more pragmatic one.
Why is it some people call up to ask permission to be parents and to discipline their child and to act like a grown up!!
"If you're so freakin' smart, why aren't you rich?"
Parents need to give their/us millennials tough love and stop babying us. My mom did it to me when I was into my really bad drinking and drug addiction at 23 and had the cops kick me out of the house. I hated my mom for doing that to me but now I thank her. I’m 27 and life is better than before. Home owner, car, daughter, trade men’s. It’s okay
Haha it's the opposite for me, my parents buy stupid stuff and live in a an apartment they can't really afford, thier excuse is that "they're getting older and they deserve nice things" and they use me and my sister as an asset, and try to get an extra 1200 a month out of us and to stay living with them, at age 21, I have no life. Worst of all they don't even respect me, I buy my own food, and mother goes partying every night and deals coke.
Bboy. Tony move out and get your own life.
Just leave.
Kids will be kids, but remember this is the child she raised her to be. The daughter doesn’t have much respect and the mother allows her and will always allow her to continue this behavior. At the end of the day, nothing will change.
I. Don't have grown kids at home either!
I learned Finance myself, found Dr in 15 and in 21 I'm debt free sans mortgage. Still not getting married. Cannot afford divorce
If it was my daughter, I'd tell her she could stay with me as long she wants under the condition that 70% of her income go towards her debt. She would need to show me each month how much her debt is going down. If she doesn't like it I'll show her the door.
And if you had a son? Be honest,....he would get the "Free Pass" too?
@@Eaglejake what are you talking about Jake?
What would it matter if it was a boy or a girl?
I live in a 55plus community and I see lots of adult MOOCHERS living with their parents and or grandparents. They were not supposed to be living in the community as we retirees don’t want to see them around, BUT the enabling parents and grandparents keep crippling these MOOCHERS who will never grow up to carry their own weights. IT IS A LOST GENERATION!
And BTW, if you don’t want to hear the truth don’t call Dave.
Her daughter made Rookie mistake. It's going to cause stress in her life. Painful lesson.
This mom did not raise her daughter right from the get go. Parents create their own little monsters.
That's called tough love!
Too many mothers develop codependent relationships with their kids then the kids cling to them far into adulthood.
It's where we get the whole "living in your mother's basement" meme.
Very toxic parenting here in America.
Yep. Agreed. Very sad.
Dave why didn't anyone tell me this? This type of advice is priceless.
She could have taken the $6000, payed off the $4600 in credit card debt, and bought a $1400 car, or even better, pit the remaining $1400 to repaying student loans, and bought a bus pass.
Wait, what? You want a millennial female to drive a $1400 car????? My niece cried when my brother GAVE her a 10 year old BMW at 17 years old........"But it is not a NEW car". SMH.
@@Eaglejake Personally, I consider any car 10 years older or newer to be a new car.