I love them! It's just... I'm bad at starting them and making sure they're comfortable with it 😭 (Being autistic on the other end of the spectrum sucks because I suck at noticing social cues that state if they are uninterested or not, body language, etc.)
I'm realizing i don't know how to have conversations with people. I can be eerily quiet. I think it's because my parents never let me socialize with people when i was young, they thought it was a good thing. I'm studying to become a social worker and I feel so uneasy about it because of my lack of social skills. I'm embarrassed about it
Aww, thanks for your kind words! Glad you think so, too. Hopefully we can inspire more people to go the extra mile and work toward making positive changes in our world. 🥰
People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. Great video, How To Win Friends and Influence People is one of my all time favs!
I went to college to be a counselor, so deep is my middle name. That said, I only have deep conversations with myself. I find that it's easier, more rewarding and, even when I disagree with myself, I can patch things up by going out for ice cream.
Adulting with Esther haha, I only add a lot of b-roll so I don’t have to show my face all of the time. If I don’t want to see it constantly, I can only imagine how everyone else feels. 😂 Seriously, I couldn’t top your video. It was top notch, like always!
Girl, thank you!! I'm watching this because after I became a parent and am having conversations with other parents at the park, I now realize I've been having conversations wrong! They always seem to fizzle out and I realized its hard for me to ask questions!! I see this in my kids too and it makes socializing and making friends challenging. This was a great video.
A deep conversation can be helpful in helping someone realize themselves. :) You don't have to help everyone, and it's a lot harder than it needs to be if you're ever focused on responding to give them an answer. It's much more effective, helpful, and easy to give them the opportunity to discover the answers themselves. After all, it's their problem, if there is one, and you may never know how the problem originated or how it will be solved, because it's their responsibility and their experience. Thanks for the awesome video!
This is a terrific video. I’m watching because I want to know how to make conversation without exposing my personal life. I want to be able to make general conversation without talking about my problems or anything personal. I have found that many people use that against you.
Your cat story is full of GOLDEN thumbnails, especially 7:30 One expression can make a TH-cam video go viral, even if it's not necessarily related to the video.
It will help me. My daughter gets very defensive any time I suggest anything. So safety seems to be staying surface. She has a mean girl personality. Seems to be proud of it .
Sorry to hear you're dealing with that Mary. My 8th graders get that way, too. I'll be sharing some nonviolent communication techniques soon that help me maneuver feedback situations and disagreements. Best of luck!
Maam, you saved my failing relationship. This video was good. And I am sure with the passage of time, you will eventually release more videos concerning relationships. I really look forward to seeing more! Ye earned a sub from me :)
My husband is in jail and there’s nothing to talk about anymore . I find myself just talking about our love and relationship and he’s bored of that and I am to honestly because it’s like a re run every day . I don’t know how or what to talk about . I’m like this with everyone I find myself always saying the same stuff smh to where I’m just quiet because I have absolutely nothing to say
*Yes I do enjoy good conversations, it is important in my job as well to connect to families I am working with , many great tips , specially asking the right questions and listen to understand , not to respond , great content , maybe one day you can write a book about it , you sound very knowledgeable about this topic 😉😀🤗👍🏻*
Awww, Thanks Gigi! It's just something I'm working through in my own life now. It's definitely helping me reconcile through all this craziness in the world/America.
Can you do another video going into some more ways to deal with number 3? It's very difficult for me because I often don't see others as attractive or their fashion sense is horrible so I just usually sit still because I don't want to lie. It even makes me jolt backwards when I see some people.
Oooooh. Not wanting to lie! Good call. I'll add this to my video ideas list. Thank you for the suggestion and feedback! But do remember, it's 100% OK to disagree with people. In fact, it makes conversation more interesting. Play around with ways to inquire more behind their choices. You also don't have to "like" their choices to comment on them. ex: "Oooh, that sweater looks so comfy and warm! Is it?" or, "How do you like those shoes? I've seen a lot of people wearing them lately." It does take more crafting, but you'll get there. Check out "how to win friends and influence people". Dale gives a lot of great ideas. There's an amazon affiliate link in the description if you want to check it out :)
The depth of a conversation can vary greatly depending on the topics discussed, the level of openness and vulnerability shared, and the mutual willingness to explore meaningful ideas and emotions. A deep conversation may involve introspective reflection, philosophical inquiry, or heartfelt discussions about personal experiences and beliefs. The depth of a conversation is often measured by its ability to evoke genuine emotions, provoke thought-provoking insights, and foster a deeper understanding between participants.
Great views to getting conversations unstuck . . . . It's free breaking the barrier to conversation situations. Ever thought of addressing a situation where the other person is boring | is feeling shy to share some topics with you | is very defensive or is guarded? How do we get these conversations going with them? I believe all persons should be given a chance to tell their stories before we take the easier way out of looking for other conversations to hold. Thanks
I'm inclined to disagree with your last point on how to disagreeing with people. Actually to clarify, there is another level of consideration that might bring more success. So this statement... "Wow, that's really different than anything I've ever thought before but I'm sure if I had your perspective, I'd feel the same way..." Is problematic... First, the "but" says forget everything I just said (except that I'm "different" than you. combine the word "perspective" which is not a 4th grade level word and this sentence reads to their inner child as, "I'm different from you but that makes me better than you and if were at your lower level, I'd think the same way!" This whole phrase will feel condescending to most people. Explaining in terms of Transactional Analysis, this statement hooks their compliant child. They most likely won't say anything (compliance) but they will resent you for what you said. This would work if you were a teacher or parent talking to a child but I'm assuming you're an adult talking to an adult at a networking event. A more direct approach (Transactional Analysis Adult to Adult) is to just say it and respect they are also an adult. Something like... "I don't feel that way about it and to be clear, I respect your position. I'd like to understand better so could you tell me more?" Two points here... First, saying "feel" instead of "think" or "thought" disarms resentment because people believe they can attack your thoughts but they don't generally attack your feelings. They also don't see a threat from a feeling. Second, this approach is direct and to the point i.e. I don't agree with you, I'm okay we don't agree, I hope you're okay we don't agree and will clarify your position! In the end, you can still walk away disagreeing with them and they'll respect you for being up front with them.
Yesterday after having A bad time and conversation with my BEST FRIEND was wandering on TH-cam searching for a good video on how to have deep conversation. Found this Hidden Gem 💎 (video😂) Thanks it helped me a lot..... Looking forward to apply all of this in Real Life, while having conversation.. Lots of Loveeeeeee❤️
You are such a great listener! Thank you for noticing how gorgeous my hair is! 😁 I use Dove on my hair... oh wait! Where's my Dove? 🕊 Squirrel!!! 🐿 What were we talking about? 🤔 JK! Great video and advice!! 🤩
I'm talking yo a guy tight now! we're gonna talk on the phone soon! So im literally feeling unease right now lol. We've been talking a lil and getting to know each other. I'm shy asf.
Hi. Could you give tips on deepening conversation whit my ex? We walked through the no-contact period, and it's would be good to build deeper conversations as well.
That's hard. There could be previous trauma in the relationship that you need to address first and foremost. It's also a different situation with it being your previous partner. Another thing to consider is if you're trying to simply be friends or rekindle the relationship. Lastly, if they requested to have a no-contact period and this is you violating that wish, practice self-restraint and walk away. You might not want this answer, but I would work on addressing the trauma and issues that led to your break up. Some books you may want to check out to help with that communication could be Come As You Are (if the partner was female) amzn.to/3H4aJVY This text gives a big perspective of the female. If you believe the separation had to do with attachment styles, you may want to look into Attached, amzn.to/3GAEqfS. It addresses managing a relationship with partners whom have differing attachment styles. I find that often has a lot to do with break ups. If you feel like YOU were/are the problem then I suggest looking into some Brene Brown texts on self-worth. Daring Greatly is a great start amzn.to/3GLYzzJ I suggest you check them out on audiobook--helps me digest information quicker. Best of luck!
@@AdultingwithEsther Hi. I mentioned in my comment that we just passed the no contact phase now. I don't understand why did you advice me walk away? The contact is fragile, not enought strong at the moment analyzing the past relationship problems. I thought you could make few suggestions to build stronger connection here and now. I thought we can do step-by-step. I am not sure that immediately after a no contact tlis the best thing analyzing problems.
Failure leads to learning. Fear of failure will keep you stunted in growth. Take a chance and if you screw up, then you can learn from it. :) Good luck!
Never thought that Gal Gadot will guide me in my communication skills, jk, It's really helpful, something I missed out about listening skills got cleared today 🌸.
The worst thing you can do is hear a women on how to flirt when they are clueless of what they really want in a guy, "Dont recommend channel" button here we go 😂😂😂
Not intended as a deep conversation question. YET. PS. Love how much value this video offers! You've got yourself a new subscriber from close (enough) to Alaska! 🙃
Are deep conversations something you enjoy or tend to shy away from?
They're my favorite because they make me think!
You did great on this video!!
I love them! It's just... I'm bad at starting them and making sure they're comfortable with it 😭 (Being autistic on the other end of the spectrum sucks because I suck at noticing social cues that state if they are uninterested or not, body language, etc.)
This video helped me a lot!!
I'm realizing i don't know how to have conversations with people. I can be eerily quiet. I think it's because my parents never let me socialize with people when i was young, they thought it was a good thing. I'm studying to become a social worker and I feel so uneasy about it because of my lack of social skills. I'm embarrassed about it
You’ll get there. Failure is an opportunity to learn :)
Don't worry too much about it. I don't think you're the only one going through this
Same
There’s no greater adult skill than being a good listener and trying to understand others from their point of view! I enjoy deep conversations. :-)
Aww, thanks for your kind words! Glad you think so, too. Hopefully we can inspire more people to go the extra mile and work toward making positive changes in our world. 🥰
People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care.
Great video, How To Win Friends and Influence People is one of my all time favs!
Isn't it a phenomenal read!? I'm kind of a robot by nature...so it's been major enlightenment for me.
I went to college to be a counselor, so deep is my middle name. That said, I only have deep conversations with myself. I find that it's easier, more rewarding and, even when I disagree with myself, I can patch things up by going out for ice cream.
😂😂😂😂😂 That's hilarious. I'd like to see your take on this topic. I know it'd have more b-roll and definitely be a hit! :)
Adulting with Esther haha, I only add a lot of b-roll so I don’t have to show my face all of the time. If I don’t want to see it constantly, I can only imagine how everyone else feels. 😂 Seriously, I couldn’t top your video. It was top notch, like always!
Girl, thank you!! I'm watching this because after I became a parent and am having conversations with other parents at the park, I now realize I've been having conversations wrong! They always seem to fizzle out and I realized its hard for me to ask questions!! I see this in my kids too and it makes socializing and making friends challenging. This was a great video.
A deep conversation can be helpful in helping someone realize themselves. :)
You don't have to help everyone, and it's a lot harder than it needs to be if you're ever focused on responding to give them an answer. It's much more effective, helpful, and easy to give them the opportunity to discover the answers themselves. After all, it's their problem, if there is one, and you may never know how the problem originated or how it will be solved, because it's their responsibility and their experience.
Thanks for the awesome video!
This is a terrific video. I’m watching because I want to know how to make conversation without exposing my personal life. I want to be able to make general conversation without talking about my problems or anything personal. I have found that many people use that against you.
Your cat story is full of GOLDEN thumbnails, especially 7:30
One expression can make a TH-cam video go viral, even if it's not necessarily related to the video.
Haha, well I'm glad it did it for you! : ) Thanks for the encouragement
@@AdultingwithEsther NP, I hope you consider the new thumbnail idea :D
It will help me. My daughter gets very defensive any time I suggest anything. So safety seems to be staying surface. She has a mean girl personality. Seems to be proud of it .
Sorry to hear you're dealing with that Mary. My 8th graders get that way, too. I'll be sharing some nonviolent communication techniques soon that help me maneuver feedback situations and disagreements. Best of luck!
Awesome Esther. My hubby needs to see this. He's ALWAYS interrupting when others are talking. Love your videos💞💞💞
Aww. Thanks Marisa! He sounds like a chatty Kathy. How long have you two been married now?
@@AdultingwithEsther yes he's definitely VERY chatty lol. 20 freaking years. 😆
Maam, you saved my failing relationship. This video was good. And I am sure with the passage of time, you will eventually release more videos concerning relationships. I really look forward to seeing more! Ye earned a sub from me :)
This feedback means a ton. Thank you for the encouragement!
My husband is in jail and there’s nothing to talk about anymore . I find myself just talking about our love and relationship and he’s bored of that and I am to honestly because it’s like a re run every day . I don’t know how or what to talk about . I’m like this with everyone I find myself always saying the same stuff smh to where I’m just quiet because I have absolutely nothing to say
*Yes I do enjoy good conversations, it is important in my job as well to connect to families I am working with , many great tips , specially asking the right questions and listen to understand , not to respond , great content , maybe one day you can write a book about it , you sound very knowledgeable about this topic 😉😀🤗👍🏻*
Awww, Thanks Gigi! It's just something I'm working through in my own life now. It's definitely helping me reconcile through all this craziness in the world/America.
+William Mikula oh, for sure!
I guess the best thing we can do for them is model the proper way we would like to be listened to...
Stay strong!
Can you do another video going into some more ways to deal with number 3? It's very difficult for me because I often don't see others as attractive or their fashion sense is horrible so I just usually sit still because I don't want to lie. It even makes me jolt backwards when I see some people.
Oooooh. Not wanting to lie! Good call. I'll add this to my video ideas list. Thank you for the suggestion and feedback! But do remember, it's 100% OK to disagree with people. In fact, it makes conversation more interesting. Play around with ways to inquire more behind their choices. You also don't have to "like" their choices to comment on them. ex: "Oooh, that sweater looks so comfy and warm! Is it?" or, "How do you like those shoes? I've seen a lot of people wearing them lately." It does take more crafting, but you'll get there. Check out "how to win friends and influence people". Dale gives a lot of great ideas. There's an amazon affiliate link in the description if you want to check it out :)
The depth of a conversation can vary greatly depending on the topics discussed, the level of openness and vulnerability shared, and the mutual willingness to explore meaningful ideas and emotions. A deep conversation may involve introspective reflection, philosophical inquiry, or heartfelt discussions about personal experiences and beliefs. The depth of a conversation is often measured by its ability to evoke genuine emotions, provoke thought-provoking insights, and foster a deeper understanding between participants.
Great views to getting conversations unstuck . . . . It's free breaking the barrier to conversation situations. Ever thought of addressing a situation where the other person is boring | is feeling shy to share some topics with you | is very defensive or is guarded? How do we get these conversations going with them? I believe all persons should be given a chance to tell their stories before we take the easier way out of looking for other conversations to hold. Thanks
Yaaay, help to prevent me from being awkward.
Lol, awkward is fun, too. ;)
I'm inclined to disagree with your last point on how to disagreeing with people. Actually to clarify, there is another level of consideration that might bring more success. So this statement...
"Wow, that's really different than anything I've ever thought before but I'm sure if I had your perspective, I'd feel the same way..."
Is problematic... First, the "but" says forget everything I just said (except that I'm "different" than you. combine the word "perspective" which is not a 4th grade level word and this sentence reads to their inner child as, "I'm different from you but that makes me better than you and if were at your lower level, I'd think the same way!"
This whole phrase will feel condescending to most people. Explaining in terms of Transactional Analysis, this statement hooks their compliant child. They most likely won't say anything (compliance) but they will resent you for what you said. This would work if you were a teacher or parent talking to a child but I'm assuming you're an adult talking to an adult at a networking event.
A more direct approach (Transactional Analysis Adult to Adult) is to just say it and respect they are also an adult. Something like...
"I don't feel that way about it and to be clear, I respect your position. I'd like to understand better so could you tell me more?"
Two points here... First, saying "feel" instead of "think" or "thought" disarms resentment because people believe they can attack your thoughts but they don't generally attack your feelings. They also don't see a threat from a feeling. Second, this approach is direct and to the point i.e. I don't agree with you, I'm okay we don't agree, I hope you're okay we don't agree and will clarify your position!
In the end, you can still walk away disagreeing with them and they'll respect you for being up front with them.
These are also great ways to disagree. Thanks for sharing, Chuck!
I’m. Sure this is all obvious to everyone, but man I need this ! Thank you so much…. I think it’s just the way you put it?
Yesterday after having A bad time and conversation with my BEST FRIEND was wandering on TH-cam searching for a good video on how to have deep conversation.
Found this Hidden Gem 💎 (video😂)
Thanks it helped me a lot.....
Looking forward to apply all of this in Real Life, while having conversation..
Lots of Loveeeeeee❤️
This comment is the best. Thank you for sharing! I'm brainstorming more ideas to follow it up with :)
Thank you so much for this video. Could never keep a conversation going
Glad it was helpful!
Very nicely made!
you have amazing energy. very useful tips. thanks
Aww, thanks! Glad they helped :)
OMG YOU ARE SO PRETTY!
This girl is amazing lol
Good tips
This is great stuff, thanks Esther, I'm Brad - let's build together!
Aww, no, thank you!
What are you hoping to "build"?
F
❤cat story and gestures🤣
“Be a happy person!” If only sad people would hear this valuable advice
Honestly this is good advice even for relationships just a heads up.
You are such a great listener! Thank you for noticing how gorgeous my hair is! 😁 I use Dove on my hair... oh wait! Where's my Dove? 🕊 Squirrel!!! 🐿
What were we talking about? 🤔 JK!
Great video and advice!! 🤩
Baaahahahahahahah Oh Paul 🥰😂
@@AdultingwithEsther 🤣🤣🤣
she has a husband
I hop this helps me talk more with my girl friend
It did help thank you
I'm talking yo a guy tight now! we're gonna talk on the phone soon! So im literally feeling unease right now lol. We've been talking a lil and getting to know each other. I'm shy asf.
I hope it went well. Stay strong, girl!
Does this work with married women who are already in relationship?
There is a girl i like, but i always end up going into akward silences.
Upload more video like this and dating coaching. Tnx
Already in the tank. Thanks for the encouragement and feedback!
As warm as Alaskas getting we won't be able to use it for it's freezing claim for much longer 😅 But very well made points!
Ha! No joke. Last summer those forest fires were horrendous! We weren't even allowed to roast s'mores.
@@AdultingwithEsther Yup! If it hadn't been for slope work that summer I'd have melted to death xD
Hi. Could you give tips on deepening conversation whit my ex? We walked through the no-contact period, and it's would be good to build deeper conversations as well.
That's hard. There could be previous trauma in the relationship that you need to address first and foremost. It's also a different situation with it being your previous partner. Another thing to consider is if you're trying to simply be friends or rekindle the relationship. Lastly, if they requested to have a no-contact period and this is you violating that wish, practice self-restraint and walk away.
You might not want this answer, but I would work on addressing the trauma and issues that led to your break up. Some books you may want to check out to help with that communication could be Come As You Are (if the partner was female) amzn.to/3H4aJVY This text gives a big perspective of the female. If you believe the separation had to do with attachment styles, you may want to look into Attached, amzn.to/3GAEqfS. It addresses managing a relationship with partners whom have differing attachment styles. I find that often has a lot to do with break ups. If you feel like YOU were/are the problem then I suggest looking into some Brene Brown texts on self-worth. Daring Greatly is a great start amzn.to/3GLYzzJ I suggest you check them out on audiobook--helps me digest information quicker.
Best of luck!
@@AdultingwithEsther Hi. I mentioned in my comment that we just passed the no contact phase now. I don't understand why did you advice me walk away? The contact is fragile, not enought strong at the moment analyzing the past relationship problems. I thought you could make few suggestions to build stronger connection here and now. I thought we can do step-by-step. I am not sure that immediately after a no contact tlis the best thing analyzing problems.
❤ from India
Your the best
No, no, you are. ;)
You need more subs. you got 1 ...
I appreciate your support. Thank you!
what sport do you do? You look quite strong :D
#1 is the hardest for me. 😣😣
Failure leads to learning. Fear of failure will keep you stunted in growth. Take a chance and if you screw up, then you can learn from it. :) Good luck!
Omg ur muscles are gorge😍
Never thought that Gal Gadot will guide me in my communication skills, jk,
It's really helpful, something I missed out about listening skills got cleared today 🌸.
Glad to hear that!
The worst thing you can do is hear a women on how to flirt when they are clueless of what they really want in a guy, "Dont recommend channel" button here we go 😂😂😂
Are you a Scorpio?
Not intended as a deep conversation question. YET. PS. Love how much value this video offers! You've got yourself a new subscriber from close (enough) to Alaska! 🙃
Baaahaha. Thanks for watching. Glad you got value out of it.
Also, I'm a Capricorn. What are you? ;)
@@AdultingwithEsther Ahahaha as am I !! Happy belated birthday! ❤️
@@ShashaaTirupati awe! Happy birthday to you, too! 🎂
If I am high
Hello esther
😱
What are Top interesting questions to start with
You have really dreamy arms
Have my deepest conversations while looking in a mirror
Honestly, a lot of people can't do that. Way to be able to have that level of self confidence.
I wish i wasnt a introvert🙁
Practice on your pets! Good luck!
I like the question, what's your favourite colour lol
Haha :) Green.
Omg you are sooo beautiful....
I subscribed for pretty face
Thanks for watching!
Marry me
Way too happily taken. But, I'm flattered and honored by the offer :)
Just keep in mind “ don't give a F”
Too much general advice, do some research before doing TH-cam videos. Too many people are saying what you’re saying …