1. no one is above or below you 2. reflect on recent stuff in life (something learned, funny moment/memory, show/movie you saw, book you read, podcast you listened to, trying something new in life, etc.) - journaling helps with 2! 3. ice pick and mountain analogy: you're "picking" at the person by making conversation, trying to get to know them and "creating snowballs." small snowballs = acquaintances, larger snowballs = closer friends 4. talking to strangers - find something in common and make a connection - observe around you ("how do you know person xyz?"; "i love your earrings, are they vintage?") - (added this one myself) people like compliments and usually like talking about themselves 5. be genuinely interested and ask things you want to know 6. people want to feel heard and seen; if anything, just paraphrase what the other person said 7. last resort: you have every right to leave (if you can) "i'm gonna go use the restroom, i'll see you in a bit" 8. chemistry is real in romantic relationships but friendships too; it's okay to just have certain people as only acquaintances 9. every friendship is different/unique: some friends you party with, some you talk about light stuff with, some you just lay around and do "nothing" with
I love you… you are a person I would want to keep around like a purse cus like how did you do that… your amazing, even tho I was listening I didn’t know how to write notes, I am not so great at that. Helped so much ❤❤
Acquaintances are definitely the trickiest to talk to sometimes, like classmates and colleagues, especially if they already have a not so good image of you or know how awkward you are, but this vid helped, thanks⁹l
Yes, it is true because they already define a persona on you and you are playing the part of this persona. They know you as another person compared to other people. However, personalities and character can change. Some people will consider it as a healthy phase others can see it as multiple personality or what not.
This is so true for me too. I find that talking to strangers are way more easier than acquaintances because I can implement the 'no one is above and below you' mindset easier with strangers.
tbh the one thing that i learned abt how to talk to your coworkers is ask questions, then when they answer, keep it rolling, dont be afraid to tell YOUR side of your story.
00:01 Taming social anxiety and confident conversation 02:00 Avoid coming off as smug or arrogant when interacting with others. 04:02 Reflect on your life and experiences before engaging in a conversation. 06:00 Journaling helps with preparedness and retaining information. 08:00 Use the ice picker and mountain of snow analogy to engage in meaningful conversations. 10:05 Initiate small talk by finding common ground and testing the waters. 12:11 Start with broad strokes and open up first 14:17 Paraphrasing what others say makes them feel heard and understood. 16:15 Building relationships from strangers to friends is a process involving icebreaking and chemistry. 18:05 Overcome social anxiety by talking to strangers Crafted by Merlin AI.
I've been known within my freind group to be the most able to handle scocial situations. I often get asked even by my close freinds, "how are you so good at talking with people? You can instantly make freinds with strangers!" But despite what they say, I still struggle internally with trying to hold a conversation. I'm genuinely not sure how in the ever living Hell I manage my way through a conversation. So, despite me being well versed in "making freinds" or "being good with people" I found so much useful information in this video. It was so nice to hear you say to "trust yourself that you will come up with the appropriate responce". I needed that. I think FAR too much about how I come across, and what to say next, and how to be witty enough, etc . . . And it was litigatmetly a breath of fresh air to realize that I AM capable of responding, and that I CAN trust myself enough to make a responce. And in the process be more genuine because of that.
Jenn! I love how you broke this down like a masterclass! I If you continue this series, could you please please do a video on how to navigate conversation in groups? I am an introvert who works in customer service and find it so much easier to flow in “one on one” conversation with strangers/patients, than in GROUPS of acquaintances and sometimes even with groups of friends. Thank you for the energy, thought, and time you put into your projects ❤ I think you are blessing us struggling millennials with this communication series. We grew up in such a digital age. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like they complete freezes in groups, especially in casual/social settings 😅
Hi if you need a tip I recommend you engage in the conversation, just do it. Sometimes the most extroverted people are the ones who talk in groups. Try to be brave and say something, explain your point of view, how do you feel about something, etc. Don’t let the others over talk and participate . When you start doing it you’ll gain more confidence and it will come natural at some point 🤗
Hi, I considered myself as a 70% introvert, plus English is not my first language, I always think other people are better than me and a lot of time I feel overwhelmed because of my language skill. I totally understand your feeling, I have similar experience as you, I worked as a skincare specialist a few years ago, I found that experience really helped me to become more active and open to conversation as I needed to talk and greet custormers everyday (Although, I still feel that I lack the confidence to speak in a group.😅 ). So I believe you will feel much confortable if you keep practicing and maybe try to speak in small groups first.
As an INFP I feel so stuck when it comes to making conversations.. It has been a resolution of mine, I really want to know all kinds of people because like you mentioned, you can learn so much from the people you meet! Thank you so much for making this video 💗
I was THE introvert, but I swear that ever since you started your communications degree in Davis, I had loved researching and committing time into communication tools and techniques. It’s crazy how disconnected I had became during COVID and avoided communication to avoid building new friendships with peers in social settings, I could only take one person at a time. That PTSD really broke down after I reconnected with myself and did the work again in CBT therapy. Now for the commutation tools that will help me thrive again. Absolutely loving it, ty Jen!!!
I feel so bad when it comes to conversations with ppl I’m not super close with. I think it’s the acquaintances. When they say something my mind is just always blank. Like I want to say something, I want to show I care and listen lol but I just don’t know what to say. I ask myself “do I truly care? Is that why I can’t think of anything “ idk this vid was helpful
6:32 I used to be a huge extrovert when I was younger. When I take a look at my old diaries all of the pages would be filled with very random things like dialogues from a movie that I came across or a conversation my parents had which I heard etc. and ever since I stopped doing it was the beginning of my introvert era
I really like your analogy of ice picking a mountain! thanks for breaking down your ideas into digestible chunks and providing actual helpful tips that you use too. thank you jenn!
I’ve been so shy and anxious especially since the pandemic and some mental health struggles so I really tried to avoid people. I still get so nervous and I feel really awkward talking to strangers… but I really wish to connect with new people again. I hope that it will start to feel more natural again with some practice…
@@walqqr1 thank you for your words! Actually, I’ve been told that a lot recently but I always need to remind myself… i always get too frustrated with myself
@@blackswan6756 Well I think it's all about warmth and competance both in balance. Don't worry about the outcome. The time will come later. Also God is good for all who believe.
One thing I learnt was embracing my inner critic/ demon with self-compassion. Letting myself know „hey you ARE interesting!“ and calling myself out when you make assumptions about what horrible things people might be thinking. Another thing, dare to share some personal things if it’s a suitable situation or laugh about any silliness openly that comes out of your mouth 😊
man i just love how u talk so passionately like while you're saying all of this in the back of ur mind you're seeing ur older self who had social anxiety
PEOPLE CAN ONLY MEET YOU, AS DEEPLY AS THEY'VE MET THEMSELVES... so before anything really get to know yourself and be happy with who you are… Great video and a great visual to pair with it as well 😉👍🏼
This video is what I rly wanted🥹🥹🥹🥹 as a master student in London, it’s my first time ever to study abroad and live by myself. I used to love to talk to people but since I came here, I realized how bad my English is and compares anything (anything) myself to anyone I met. That’s how I lose all my confidence I had and I’m still struggling to get back confidence ☹️😫😫 I remember when I first met my course mates, I was so shocked that people left me after talking a few minutes. Since then, I’ve been avoiding to join any party. even though sometimes I don’t rly need to join if I have something prioritize, I’ll give it a little bit of try to talk to new people whenever I have chance. Your video encouraged me to try a little more, thank you so much Jenn 🥺🥺🥺
Hola Jenn! I've been a dedicated follower for about 8 years now, and I've been thinking: wouldn't it be amazing if you started your own podcast? Your wisdom and constant realizations are incredibly insightful. We're around the same age, and experiencing life through your perspective is something I truly cherish. I'm certain many others would relate and absolutely adore a podcast from you. You'd be so good at it!
@@Playsch00l given the current landscape on the internet and the toxic cancelling culture, there are million reasons to not speak up against any political and global affair online (but it doesn't mean we don't care) Besides, action is louder than words! Jenn is spreading her knowledge and positivities through her videos regarding other topics - which I think is more effective to make the world better. If there is anything we can do to make the world better, it should come from within all of us. Perhaps we can learn to speak to others who don't agree and change their views forever! ;)
This was a great video. I feel like you would make a great counselor/therapist just based off how eloquent you are, how introspective you are and your life experience on working through certain things (such as talking to anyone). That's what I appreciate most about my therapist is she feels relatable like sorting through the mess of life with someone who "gets it".
This video was so timely!! It popped up on my feed as I am preparing tomorrow to have a conversation on a first date! Thank you for helping me feel calm and prepared!
This video made me realize that I’m naturally good at talking to people but I kind of stopped trying to be because I noticed that the people who are the most charismatic are the ones who are entertaining and funny. They don’t need to start those conversations with people because their charisma naturally draws them in. I also found that most people aren’t interested in truly getting to know each other.
This is an excellent point where you have to open up in order for them to open up about themselves. I use this like every time. When I want that person to become a friend.
Glad that your video comes up on my recommendation page! I used to be really good in handling conversations with strangers and build a network easily but growing up in the past few years where I'm tired with this adulting situation I feel like maybe talking to less people would help me more focus with my own issues but turns out it made a new issue where I don't know how to talk to people and suddenly have social anxiety 😥 what you said about talking to anyone is like muscle that you need to practice a lot is totally true! It's good to have a break sometimes from people to reconnect with yourself but we still need to maintain our connection with people out there. And, thank you for such a great video ♡
My solution was simple. 1) care but dont truly care about what people think 2) get better at talking and convincingly talk with confidence and talk with a directive and power.
This video changed my mindset to some extent. And felt so helpful. I'll try my best to keep that "no one is below or above you" mindset and go on with connecting. All I'm worried about mostly is that I respond too frankly to any stranger but I'm bad with asking questions myself. Gotta work on that!
The golden mindset and remembering that you can learn something from anyone needs to be at the forefront of my mind to allow me to be more curious. Well spoken on this topic and will definitely check your channel out!
this video is a boost, plan to check back in with it regularly, honestly nothing new in the content, but the delivery is useable in a rare way. thank you if you read this
It is very refreshing to see a pretty girl who lets you know she has real brains inside her head to help others around her. This was real fun listening to you.
I relate and love the information you talk about in this video. I am an introvert, but sometimes I like talking to people and make friends. In middle school, I tend to start the conversations with strangers and manage to make some good friends. In high school, sometimes I will start the conversations, but some people will not continue the conversation and just ends it. At first, I was a bit disappointed and sad that they will not continue the convo. I thought I was the problem, I thought people think I was boring. But, at the same time I know that is not true. I got over the disappointment fast after. Life has its ups and downs, just like in conversations. Is ok if there is no connection between the people you talk to. At least, we try our best to start a conversation with people while being our own genuine selves.
Getting annoyed when people ask what I’ve been up to or what my favorite restaurant is etc is so relatable. I always feel so stupid when I don’t know what to say. My anxiety with new people always comes from being unable to know what to expect. Great tips!
Gosh, Jenn is just a burst of good energy and motivation seriouslyy 💗 I felt sooo inspired watching this video, and not just about the art of talking to anyone, but inspired about the totality of my life lol. That's how I feel whenever I watch her video. You get to learn so much in many ways and makes you appreciate life and yourself. Please continue to be you Jenn, I see you thriving and glowing more than ever!! keep going, queen!
Really like the analogy of ice picking a mountain! The journey of getting to understand someone is like steadily gathering snow and forming a snowball. Over time, the snowball grows larger and larger, and the big snowballs represent your closest friends.
Thank you for this video Jenn! I was struggling with Social Anxiety since I was a child and it was so difficult to live and enjoy life to the fullest when you are carrying that burden. I hope I can also have the strength and courage to tame my Social Anxiety because it was hindering from living a happy and beautiful life.
So glad someone else sees interacting with people the same way as me! Very helpful tips, LOVE the chipping at the mountain analogy! It's perfect to describe what it feels like to hit a dead part in a convo or a really fun flowy part.
Look up Ford Theory, Family, Occupation, recreation, dreams/aspirations. Kinda a cheat sheet i ask about each of these topics when I'm stumped on words.
Everything about this video was so great. From the tips, to how well the examples flowed, and just the overall energy. I have been struggling with talking to people because I feel like I'm not a great conversationalist, but I think this video helped me to understand some people maybe just don't know themselves enough either! I will definitely be journaling more because I do think I kind of just blink and go through my week since I work from home which is why I find myself irritable when people try to make small talk with me like "how was your day!" I ESPECIALYL love how the end of this video left off with a great SMART goal: Meet/talk to 5 strangers this month. It is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic/reasonable, and time bound! So excited to try some of these newly learned tips. :)
Hey, this video is extremely helpful for me. I struggle with autism and up until 13 years old I didnt talk verbally to anyone. I dont understand social cues, the rules of our society dont come naturally to me, and conversation makes me freeze up. Some may think things like these are easy to grasp but for me I teally need it explained like this. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this video! This is the first time I watch your video and it makes my day! I am really anxious in chatting with others and what you disclosed are definitely useful in my daily lives! Your speech is just so fluent, smooth and confident and I found it very comfortable to watch this. TIME just passed so quickly.
Whenever I get into an overthinking situation being nervous of how people will judge me based on something I want to say or do, I just ask my self "why would they be mad or judge me at this?", As long as it's appropriate and you're not hurting anyone I'm pretty sure you're safe. And if they do judge you, It's their problem.
i am actually falling in love - ok maybe dramatic but like listening to jenn talk is so enchanting and it's like how is someone so beautiful inside and out ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Something thats really helped me is framing a conversation as something closer to playing music together rather than an information exchange. A lot of times people just want to play/interact, and the content of a conversation is kind of like the lyrics to a song… sort of irrelevant to a lot of people (compared to the mood and rhythm that the song creates). In acting classes we do an exercise where we have a “conversation” in jibberish talk, and it still mostly functions as a conversation… sometimes even better.
I always have struggles talking to people especially when making eye contacts and thinking about what topics we could talk, and when I'm comfortable exchanging thoughts to someone i am not close with I treat them as a friend even they're just an acquaintances haha And that's the one thing I've learned on this video that before you talk to people Remember! treat them base on the categories they are to your life and come up with topics that is best to talk to them. Thank you for this I am glad I have learned something from you that when I get to meet people again I know what to do❤
That feeling when you don't even remember what you last told them or what they told you... the acquaintances part is really important lol such a good video!! I personally don't struggle much at first I struggle to keep up the energy sometimes. I start good and there's an awkward moment when I'm drained and I feel the moment dying and I don't know if it's me it's the general mood or what
0:25 i dont care how long the video is, im desperate with tips rn, (im a transferee) and this lovely boy is so nice to me even if i failed socializing/communicatiion multiple times, i need to improve pronto, i dont wanna ruin it 😭😭
This is the first video I've seen by you, and it was incredible! This is such real and practical advice and you are so beautiful and funny and I loved the special effects and the crazy examples. Thank you -subscribed
Thank you so much for this video Jenn! I'm so glad i finally found you and your channel. This is so helpful! This came from me, a person much older than you!
Love this video! Anyone else getting tired of the better helps ads ... I just skip past but it irks me so much Better help is also so expensive around 90 dollars a week
I have very strong opinons on very random mundane things. These are good for when the small talk stalls, whether they are amusing or not. Also, one tip that really works. Shut up. If you're not feeling talkative, just listen. People will like the space to say exactly what they wanted, unprompted. Many times I'll ignore the "me" response, and then nod and say "oh" and they will happily continue to elaborate. That's how you know exactly what to say next time.
Okay I freaking absolutely love this background music you chose! It really creates a bigger picture and activates my inner child’s feelings🥰✨❤️ including the Christmas wintery sounding one about talking and getting more snow/info from your besties🥰❤️😂✨🫶🏻
this is so helpful omg !! i SUCK at small talk and i just never know what to say so the conversation becomes very awkward (my social anxiety is also at blame 😭). the way you made an activity like socializing seem so exciting is admirable. thankyou so much for the tips !! 💖
Wow, you have such a deep understanding of different concepts and you articulate them so clearly The snow metaphor is fantastic! I wonder if you have any book recommendations and maybe some advice on finding interesting events, gatherings or in general where you meet people Thank you, John and have a lovely day!
thanks for this. i always thought that having friends meant being deep about everything. didn't know it could be socially acceptable to have friends for different things, though i think it depends on the people on weather they like that or not. i like your style by the way. nice house too. wish me luck on meeting people by becoming a super famous youtuber!
Since finishing this superbly composed video, i have done the unspeakable(pun intended) and engaged in a conversation. I had noticed early on the videos effects paying off when i was not only able to reply, but respond to the other person. I delivered a succession of words which my means of witchcraft, manifested into a intelligible speech. Believe me when i say, i was astounded. I had never once picked up a musical instrument but here i was using these "vocal chords." So amazed was I, that i suspended the conversation immediately to open this video and leave a glowing recommendation in the comment section. Thank you for an amazing video! I am truly speechless at how much it helped!
I admit that skill of paraphrase their idea, but I usually use it in case of being tired or lazy to response. Somehow, it works. Btw, it's not always what you said but how you said becomes the issues in the conversations. People can feel it somehow.
the infomercial in the beginning LOL. these are great reminders Jenn! i have social anxiety and always struggled with putting myself out there, but having these tips in mind (and in my notes hehe) will help hype me up for events :)
I would just like to take a moment to say how much I love your outfit and how well it blends with the background of what looks like your living-room. Everything ties together to draw focus to your face and hands. Your body blends in with the coach and walls, and the wood-like finishes go well with your hair. Don't see that very often, makes your video very pleasant and eye appealing. **Edit, I also forgot to add how expressive you are ^_^
this is helpful 😭😭, I am infp and it’s pretty hard to talk to ppl. I can only speak to ppl when we’re close or they speak to me ( And obviously there’s many extroverts so no one speaks to me much 😞 )
Completely agree! It’s so easy to slip into a sense of superiority, but it ends up building walls instead of connections. I used to feel smug if I knew more about a topic, but it just made others shut down. Realizing that mindset was actually a cover for insecurities helped me be more open. Practicing humility and staying grounded (plus some tips from the Sense of Humor Improvement Program by Habit10x!) has changed my vibe. Now, conversations are about connection, not competition. Embrace who you are-authenticity is what draws people in!
1. no one is above or below you
2. reflect on recent stuff in life (something learned, funny moment/memory, show/movie you saw, book you read, podcast you listened to, trying something new in life, etc.)
- journaling helps with 2!
3. ice pick and mountain analogy: you're "picking" at the person by making conversation, trying to get to know them and "creating snowballs." small snowballs = acquaintances, larger snowballs = closer friends
4. talking to strangers
- find something in common and make a connection
- observe around you ("how do you know person xyz?"; "i love your earrings, are they vintage?")
- (added this one myself) people like compliments and usually like talking about themselves
5. be genuinely interested and ask things you want to know
6. people want to feel heard and seen; if anything, just paraphrase what the other person said
7. last resort: you have every right to leave (if you can) "i'm gonna go use the restroom, i'll see you in a bit"
8. chemistry is real in romantic relationships but friendships too; it's okay to just have certain people as only acquaintances
9. every friendship is different/unique: some friends you party with, some you talk about light stuff with, some you just lay around and do "nothing" with
thank you for this
I love you… you are a person I would want to keep around like a purse cus like how did you do that… your amazing, even tho I was listening I didn’t know how to write notes, I am not so great at that. Helped so much ❤❤
Thanks 💕💕🙏🫂
American accent is so annoying
TY 💜
Acquaintances are definitely the trickiest to talk to sometimes, like classmates and colleagues, especially if they already have a not so good image of you or know how awkward you are, but this vid helped, thanks⁹l
Yes, it is true because they already define a persona on you and you are playing the part of this persona. They know you as another person compared to other people. However, personalities and character can change. Some people will consider it as a healthy phase others can see it as multiple personality or what not.
A@@jacqueslee2592
Trueee 💀💀💀
This is so true for me too. I find that talking to strangers are way more easier than acquaintances because I can implement the 'no one is above and below you' mindset easier with strangers.
the moment u said "art of conversation according to my head" u immediately became someone i could trust and i thank you for that hack
tbh the one thing that i learned abt how to talk to your coworkers is ask questions, then when they answer, keep it rolling, dont be afraid to tell YOUR side of your story.
00:01 Taming social anxiety and confident conversation
02:00 Avoid coming off as smug or arrogant when interacting with others.
04:02 Reflect on your life and experiences before engaging in a conversation.
06:00 Journaling helps with preparedness and retaining information.
08:00 Use the ice picker and mountain of snow analogy to engage in meaningful conversations.
10:05 Initiate small talk by finding common ground and testing the waters.
12:11 Start with broad strokes and open up first
14:17 Paraphrasing what others say makes them feel heard and understood.
16:15 Building relationships from strangers to friends is a process involving icebreaking and chemistry.
18:05 Overcome social anxiety by talking to strangers
Crafted by Merlin AI.
I've been known within my freind group to be the most able to handle scocial situations. I often get asked even by my close freinds, "how are you so good at talking with people? You can instantly make freinds with strangers!" But despite what they say, I still struggle internally with trying to hold a conversation. I'm genuinely not sure how in the ever living Hell I manage my way through a conversation. So, despite me being well versed in "making freinds" or "being good with people" I found so much useful information in this video. It was so nice to hear you say to "trust yourself that you will come up with the appropriate responce". I needed that. I think FAR too much about how I come across, and what to say next, and how to be witty enough, etc . . . And it was litigatmetly a breath of fresh air to realize that I AM capable of responding, and that I CAN trust myself enough to make a responce. And in the process be more genuine because of that.
That's honestly so true
Jenn! I love how you broke this down like a masterclass! I If you continue this series, could you please please do a video on how to navigate conversation in groups? I am an introvert who works in customer service and find it so much easier to flow in “one on one” conversation with strangers/patients, than in GROUPS of acquaintances and sometimes even with groups of friends. Thank you for the energy, thought, and time you put into your projects ❤ I think you are blessing us struggling millennials with this communication series. We grew up in such a digital age. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like they complete freezes in groups, especially in casual/social settings 😅
Hi if you need a tip I recommend you engage in the conversation, just do it. Sometimes the most extroverted people are the ones who talk in groups. Try to be brave and say something, explain your point of view, how do you feel about something, etc. Don’t let the others over talk and participate . When you start doing it you’ll gain more confidence and it will come natural at some point 🤗
Also, people who don’t speak a lot have often many great qualities too like they are great listeners or pay attention to details 😍
Hi, I considered myself as a 70% introvert, plus English is not my first language, I always think other people are better than me and a lot of time I feel overwhelmed because of my language skill. I totally understand your feeling, I have similar experience as you, I worked as a skincare specialist a few years ago, I found that experience really helped me to become more active and open to conversation as I needed to talk and greet custormers everyday (Although, I still feel that I lack the confidence to speak in a group.😅 ). So I believe you will feel much confortable if you keep practicing and maybe try to speak in small groups first.
UGH SAME 🥲
Just landed here! Am I cute, yes? 🥰
THIS IS SOO HELPFUL..and i hate it so much when People say “They are better than you” LIKE I DON'T CARE IF SOMEONE'S BETTER.. IT'S ME VS ME.
As an INFP I feel so stuck when it comes to making conversations.. It has been a resolution of mine, I really want to know all kinds of people because like you mentioned, you can learn so much from the people you meet! Thank you so much for making this video 💗
INFP here to !!! I’m not social but when ive learned I’ve become a real charmer and favorite of alot of people
@@strawberryxoxo6841what are your tips?? Im infp too 😭😭
omg i relate to this as an INTP
Literally me 😭
I'm an INFP and I struggle with this
I was THE introvert, but I swear that ever since you started your communications degree in Davis, I had loved researching and committing time into communication tools and techniques.
It’s crazy how disconnected I had became during COVID and avoided communication to avoid building new friendships with peers in social settings, I could only take one person at a time.
That PTSD really broke down after I reconnected with myself and did the work again in CBT therapy.
Now for the commutation tools that will help me thrive again. Absolutely loving it, ty Jen!!!
I feel so bad when it comes to conversations with ppl I’m not super close with. I think it’s the acquaintances. When they say something my mind is just always blank. Like I want to say something, I want to show I care and listen lol but I just don’t know what to say. I ask myself “do I truly care? Is that why I can’t think of anything “ idk this vid was helpful
6:32 I used to be a huge extrovert when I was younger. When I take a look at my old diaries all of the pages would be filled with very random things like dialogues from a movie that I came across or a conversation my parents had which I heard etc. and ever since I stopped doing it was the beginning of my introvert era
samee
I really like your analogy of ice picking a mountain! thanks for breaking down your ideas into digestible chunks and providing actual helpful tips that you use too. thank you jenn!
no but your mind will as ben clearly has cheated on you and you will be divorcing soon, he's British lol affairs are in his blood
I’ve been so shy and anxious especially since the pandemic and some mental health struggles so I really tried to avoid people. I still get so nervous and I feel really awkward talking to strangers… but I really wish to connect with new people again. I hope that it will start to feel more natural again with some practice…
hey there, just don't be so hard on yourself, go slow, one day at a time, you will get there.
@@walqqr1 thank you for your words! Actually, I’ve been told that a lot recently but I always need to remind myself… i always get too frustrated with myself
@@blackswan6756 Well I think it's all about warmth and competance both in balance. Don't worry about the outcome. The time will come later. Also God is good for all who believe.
One thing I learnt was embracing my inner critic/ demon with self-compassion. Letting myself know „hey you ARE interesting!“ and calling myself out when you make assumptions about what horrible things people might be thinking.
Another thing, dare to share some personal things if it’s a suitable situation or laugh about any silliness openly that comes out of your mouth 😊
man i just love how u talk so passionately like while you're saying all of this in the back of ur mind you're seeing ur older self who had social anxiety
PEOPLE CAN ONLY MEET YOU, AS DEEPLY AS THEY'VE MET THEMSELVES... so before anything really get to know yourself and be happy with who you are… Great video and a great visual to pair with it as well 😉👍🏼
This video is what I rly wanted🥹🥹🥹🥹 as a master student in London, it’s my first time ever to study abroad and live by myself. I used to love to talk to people but since I came here, I realized how bad my English is and compares anything (anything) myself to anyone I met. That’s how I lose all my confidence I had and I’m still struggling to get back confidence ☹️😫😫
I remember when I first met my course mates, I was so shocked that people left me after talking a few minutes. Since then, I’ve been avoiding to join any party. even though sometimes I don’t rly need to join if I have something prioritize, I’ll give it a little bit of try to talk to new people whenever I have chance. Your video encouraged me to try a little more, thank you so much Jenn 🥺🥺🥺
Hola Jenn! I've been a dedicated follower for about 8 years now, and I've been thinking: wouldn't it be amazing if you started your own podcast? Your wisdom and constant realizations are incredibly insightful. We're around the same age, and experiencing life through your perspective is something I truly cherish. I'm certain many others would relate and absolutely adore a podcast from you. You'd be so good at it!
@@Playsch00l given the current landscape on the internet and the toxic cancelling culture, there are million reasons to not speak up against any political and global affair online (but it doesn't mean we don't care) Besides, action is louder than words! Jenn is spreading her knowledge and positivities through her videos regarding other topics - which I think is more effective to make the world better. If there is anything we can do to make the world better, it should come from within all of us. Perhaps we can learn to speak to others who don't agree and change their views forever! ;)
Ikr her way of speaking is to articulate!
I think it also really helps to see how your many recorded videos can help you reflect on your own convo/speaking skills too!
This was a great video. I feel like you would make a great counselor/therapist just based off how eloquent you are, how introspective you are and your life experience on working through certain things (such as talking to anyone). That's what I appreciate most about my therapist is she feels relatable like sorting through the mess of life with someone who "gets it".
This video was so timely!! It popped up on my feed as I am preparing tomorrow to have a conversation on a first date! Thank you for helping me feel calm and prepared!
This video made me realize that I’m naturally good at talking to people but I kind of stopped trying to be because I noticed that the people who are the most charismatic are the ones who are entertaining and funny. They don’t need to start those conversations with people because their charisma naturally draws them in. I also found that most people aren’t interested in truly getting to know each other.
This is an excellent point where you have to open up in order for them to open up about themselves. I use this like every time. When I want that person to become a friend.
Glad that your video comes up on my recommendation page! I used to be really good in handling conversations with strangers and build a network easily but growing up in the past few years where I'm tired with this adulting situation I feel like maybe talking to less people would help me more focus with my own issues but turns out it made a new issue where I don't know how to talk to people and suddenly have social anxiety 😥 what you said about talking to anyone is like muscle that you need to practice a lot is totally true! It's good to have a break sometimes from people to reconnect with yourself but we still need to maintain our connection with people out there. And, thank you for such a great video ♡
My solution was simple. 1) care but dont truly care about what people think 2) get better at talking and convincingly talk with confidence and talk with a directive and power.
This video changed my mindset to some extent. And felt so helpful. I'll try my best to keep that "no one is below or above you" mindset and go on with connecting. All I'm worried about mostly is that I respond too frankly to any stranger but I'm bad with asking questions myself. Gotta work on that!
The golden mindset and remembering that you can learn something from anyone needs to be at the forefront of my mind to allow me to be more curious. Well spoken on this topic and will definitely check your channel out!
10:53 I love this point, that talking is muscle memory
this video is a boost, plan to check back in with it regularly, honestly nothing new in the content, but the delivery is useable in a rare way. thank you if you read this
It is very refreshing to see a pretty girl who lets you know she has real brains inside her head to help others around her. This was real fun listening to you.
I relate and love the information you talk about in this video. I am an introvert, but sometimes I like talking to people and make friends. In middle school, I tend to start the conversations with strangers and manage to make some good friends. In high school, sometimes I will start the conversations, but some people will not continue the conversation and just ends it. At first, I was a bit disappointed and sad that they will not continue the convo. I thought I was the problem, I thought people think I was boring. But, at the same time I know that is not true. I got over the disappointment fast after. Life has its ups and downs, just like in conversations. Is ok if there is no connection between the people you talk to. At least, we try our best to start a conversation with people while being our own genuine selves.
As an introvert, this helped me a lot with social anxiety and depression I made some friends at school ❤
Getting annoyed when people ask what I’ve been up to or what my favorite restaurant is etc is so relatable. I always feel so stupid when I don’t know what to say. My anxiety with new people always comes from being unable to know what to expect. Great tips!
Gosh, Jenn is just a burst of good energy and motivation seriouslyy 💗 I felt sooo inspired watching this video, and not just about the art of talking to anyone, but inspired about the totality of my life lol. That's how I feel whenever I watch her video. You get to learn so much in many ways and makes you appreciate life and yourself. Please continue to be you Jenn, I see you thriving and glowing more than ever!! keep going, queen!
Really like the analogy of ice picking a mountain! The journey of getting to understand someone is like steadily gathering snow and forming a snowball. Over time, the snowball grows larger and larger, and the big snowballs represent your closest friends.
i struggle with this so much! thank you for taking the time to put it together 💕
Thank you for this video Jenn! I was struggling with Social Anxiety since I was a child and it was so difficult to live and enjoy life to the fullest when you are carrying that burden. I hope I can also have the strength and courage to tame my Social Anxiety because it was hindering from living a happy and beautiful life.
So glad someone else sees interacting with people the same way as me! Very helpful tips, LOVE the chipping at the mountain analogy! It's perfect to describe what it feels like to hit a dead part in a convo or a really fun flowy part.
The fact that nobody talks about the book Social Secrets Mastery speaks volumes about why people struggle to build real connections…
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Look up Ford Theory, Family, Occupation, recreation, dreams/aspirations. Kinda a cheat sheet i ask about each of these topics when I'm stumped on words.
Everything about this video was so great. From the tips, to how well the examples flowed, and just the overall energy. I have been struggling with talking to people because I feel like I'm not a great conversationalist, but I think this video helped me to understand some people maybe just don't know themselves enough either! I will definitely be journaling more because I do think I kind of just blink and go through my week since I work from home which is why I find myself irritable when people try to make small talk with me like "how was your day!" I ESPECIALYL love how the end of this video left off with a great SMART goal: Meet/talk to 5 strangers this month. It is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic/reasonable, and time bound! So excited to try some of these newly learned tips. :)
This will help a lot of people take control of their own happiness. Great work!
As an introvert & a new nurse, this video was for me! 😆💗 Ty Jenn!
Hey, this video is extremely helpful for me. I struggle with autism and up until 13 years old I didnt talk verbally to anyone. I dont understand social cues, the rules of our society dont come naturally to me, and conversation makes me freeze up. Some may think things like these are easy to grasp but for me I teally need it explained like this. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this video! This is the first time I watch your video and it makes my day!
I am really anxious in chatting with others and what you disclosed are definitely useful in my daily lives!
Your speech is just so fluent, smooth and confident and I found it very comfortable to watch this. TIME just passed so quickly.
Whenever I get into an overthinking situation being nervous of how people will judge me based on something I want to say or do, I just ask my self "why would they be mad or judge me at this?", As long as it's appropriate and you're not hurting anyone I'm pretty sure you're safe. And if they do judge you, It's their problem.
i am actually falling in love - ok maybe dramatic but like listening to jenn talk is so enchanting and it's like how is someone so beautiful inside and out ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Something thats really helped me is framing a conversation as something closer to playing music together rather than an information exchange. A lot of times people just want to play/interact, and the content of a conversation is kind of like the lyrics to a song… sort of irrelevant to a lot of people (compared to the mood and rhythm that the song creates). In acting classes we do an exercise where we have a “conversation” in jibberish talk, and it still mostly functions as a conversation… sometimes even better.
I always have struggles talking to people especially when making eye contacts and thinking about what topics we could talk, and when I'm comfortable exchanging thoughts to someone i am not close with I treat them as a friend even they're just an acquaintances haha And that's the one thing I've learned on this video that before you talk to people Remember! treat them base on the categories they are to your life and come up with topics that is best to talk to them.
Thank you for this I am glad I have learned something from you that when I get to meet people again I know what to do❤
….advice perfection….Jenn, you have a gift of gab & all can learn to speak to others as eloquently…loved it …. Stay happy always
That feeling when you don't even remember what you last told them or what they told you... the acquaintances part is really important lol such a good video!! I personally don't struggle much at first I struggle to keep up the energy sometimes. I start good and there's an awkward moment when I'm drained and I feel the moment dying and I don't know if it's me it's the general mood or what
0:25 i dont care how long the video is, im desperate with tips rn, (im a transferee) and this lovely boy is so nice to me even if i failed socializing/communicatiion multiple times, i need to improve pronto, i dont wanna ruin it 😭😭
It’s kinda crazy how nobody’s talking about the book Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest.
This is the first video I've seen by you, and it was incredible! This is such real and practical advice and you are so beautiful and funny and I loved the special effects and the crazy examples. Thank you -subscribed
Thank you so much for this video Jenn! I'm so glad i finally found you and your channel. This is so helpful! This came from me, a person much older than you!
Love this video!
Anyone else getting tired of the better helps ads ... I just skip past but it irks me so much
Better help is also so expensive around 90 dollars a week
Yeah, but people need ads to make money, so we should tolerate it for their sake
@@NoahArk-xy2nb yeah I just fast forward through the ad lol
I hope everything’s good with Ben, but please keep in mind that we will support you both whatever the situation is ❤
Are they still together?
I have very strong opinons on very random mundane things. These are good for when the small talk stalls, whether they are amusing or not. Also, one tip that really works. Shut up. If you're not feeling talkative, just listen. People will like the space to say exactly what they wanted, unprompted. Many times I'll ignore the "me" response, and then nod and say "oh" and they will happily continue to elaborate. That's how you know exactly what to say next time.
Watching this video made me WANT to talk to strangers. That's a rare feeling, so I'd say this video was very helpful lol. Thanks!
Okay I freaking absolutely love this background music you chose! It really creates a bigger picture and activates my inner child’s feelings🥰✨❤️ including the Christmas wintery sounding one about talking and getting more snow/info from your besties🥰❤️😂✨🫶🏻
I love the intro scene to this! so creative
that is so helpful.. indeed one can be confident with oneself then no one can avoid your charm
HER MINDSET>>>>>
this is so helpful omg !! i SUCK at small talk and i just never know what to say so the conversation becomes very awkward (my social anxiety is also at blame 😭). the way you made an activity like socializing seem so exciting is admirable.
thankyou so much for the tips !! 💖
5:40 wow... you're such a interpersonal relationship genius!! I'm really shocked!! how do you come up with this ideas? so impressive
Wow, you have such a deep understanding of different concepts and you articulate them so clearly
The snow metaphor is fantastic! I wonder if you have any book recommendations and maybe some advice on finding interesting events, gatherings or in general where you meet people
Thank you, John and have a lovely day!
Your TH-cam channel is one of my top 5. Love it! Thank you so much! 🩷
It's always great to watch some videos where healthy person chare her experience and knowledges. Thank you for this and for such a positive vibe ❤
That ice pick and mountain anology was absolutely gorgeous.
thanks for this. i always thought that having friends meant being deep about everything. didn't know it could be socially acceptable to have friends for different things, though i think it depends on the people on weather they like that or not. i like your style by the way. nice house too. wish me luck on meeting people by becoming a super famous youtuber!
Amazing video Jenn. Super helpful for all us introverts/ socially anxious peeps! Saved it so I can watch again before going out lol
Since finishing this superbly composed video, i have done the unspeakable(pun intended) and engaged in a conversation. I had noticed early on the videos effects paying off when i was not only able to reply, but respond to the other person. I delivered a succession of words which my means of witchcraft, manifested into a intelligible speech. Believe me when i say, i was astounded. I had never once picked up a musical instrument but here i was using these "vocal chords." So amazed was I, that i suspended the conversation immediately to open this video and leave a glowing recommendation in the comment section.
Thank you for an amazing video! I am truly speechless at how much it helped!
Jokes aside, I loved the video. You really did a great job. A lot of useful and helpful information here. ❤
I admit that skill of paraphrase their idea, but I usually use it in case of being tired or lazy to response. Somehow, it works. Btw, it's not always what you said but how you said becomes the issues in the conversations. People can feel it somehow.
YOU ARE LITERALLY SO PRETTYY.....
Introverted neurodivergent folks unite 🫠
Yass lol
Yeees, that's me! 😊
Lol here we are, always learning 😂🎉❤️
lmao yesss 😭😭
Here!! :)
Thank you Jen! Really helpful! God keep and bless you and your family!
I feel that you are like me… the vibe and the energy!🥹🩷🩷🩷
The snowball analogy is absolutely genius. I like that. I'm gonna keep it in mind as I start to build my new social circles.
Your ice picking a mountain anology makes how conversation work so vivid. Thanks for sharing ❤️
the infomercial in the beginning LOL. these are great reminders Jenn! i have social anxiety and always struggled with putting myself out there, but having these tips in mind (and in my notes hehe) will help hype me up for events :)
I just found your channel but I have to say I love your videos 😭❤️ youre so well-spoken and the style is just omgg
How beautiful. Thank you very much for this. Really needed it, specially the Golden Mindset part.
I wish I had this years ago. Thank you so much for helping
Love these strategies. We don’t talk to people just to talk anymore.
I would just like to take a moment to say how much I love your outfit and how well it blends with the background of what looks like your living-room. Everything ties together to draw focus to your face and hands. Your body blends in with the coach and walls, and the wood-like finishes go well with your hair.
Don't see that very often, makes your video very pleasant and eye appealing.
**Edit, I also forgot to add how expressive you are ^_^
thank you for the work that you do Jenn! Love you lots
Always a true inspiration Thank you For all your sharing and giving oof insight through interactions and knowledge and wisdom Much appreciated
this is helpful 😭😭, I am infp and it’s pretty hard to talk to ppl. I can only speak to ppl when we’re close or they speak to me ( And obviously there’s many extroverts so no one speaks to me much 😞 )
ohh thats sad i hope the best for you to find friends 😭 ( just read your description your actually so nice almost made me tear up😭)
@@mohamedyasi7876 Thank you 🤍, I appreciate this a lot actually ! And sorry I just seen this 😭
Purely delightful and inspirational as always. Thanks for sharing all the useful tips🫶
“i tell you, we are here on earth to far around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.”
kurt vonnegut
This hair color and length looks SO good on you! 😄😍
Preach pls jenn....
There's so much problem with society right now on striking a new and genuine conversation 😊❤
Completely agree! It’s so easy to slip into a sense of superiority, but it ends up building walls instead of connections. I used to feel smug if I knew more about a topic, but it just made others shut down. Realizing that mindset was actually a cover for insecurities helped me be more open.
Practicing humility and staying grounded (plus some tips from the Sense of Humor Improvement Program by Habit10x!) has changed my vibe. Now, conversations are about connection, not competition. Embrace who you are-authenticity is what draws people in!
Thank you so much Jenn! I've watched a lot of videos on this topic and yours has been the most helpful by far!
happy holidays jenn! perfect timing me n my girls are ab to watch 💓💌
Appreciate this video so much ❤ have been subscribed to your channel for an eternity and have loved growing with you.
this is such a nice video, I love the fact that you inspire people to go out and make new friends
Very positive personality! Thank you for your work!!🌟
Gwad this woman has a charming way of speaking
Hey Jenn nim, thank you so much for the video. God Bless you and your family!