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This is how you DON'T play XCOM: Enemy Unknown
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ส.ค. 2024
- Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, parody, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.
No copyright infrigment intended.
Check out this playlist for more "This is How You DON'T Play" videos:
• Playlist
Check out this guy's channel for more garbage:
/ dspgaming
Check out this guy's channel for more mash-ups:
/ evilaj2010
Vist DSP's forums:
www.thekingofha...
Or his Twitter:
/ theycallmedsp
Or his Facebook:
/ theycallmedsp1
Visit the official DSP Appreciation Station at Facepunch! (Requires Registration):
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This is DarkSydePhil's run of XCOM: Enemy Unknown (what he managed to accomplish). I took the liberty of subjecting my intelligence to all 88 parts of it, picking out as many bits and pieces of his delicious babby mantears and knitting it all together in a montage synced to unfitting music.
Album Used: Ren & Stimpy Production Music (Volumes 1 - 3)
0:00 - 0:43 : Ren & Stimpy Opening Theme
0:44 - 2:04 : Fun Chase
2:05 - 4:44 : Haferlgucker
4:45 - 7:42 : Crepe Suzette
7:43 - 8:52 : Happy Families
8:53 - 11:46 : Model Girl
11:47 - 13:45 : Carmen Suite - Habanera
13:46 - 15:41 : Dance of the Reed Flutes
15:42 - 19:31 : Dance of the Hours
19:32 - 20:30 : Screw on the Loose
20:31 - 22:14 : Pizzicato Playtime
22:15 - 24:20 : The March of the Ants
24:21 - 27:03 : The Thieving Magpie (Long)
27:04 - 29:29 : Tom Fool
29:30 - 31:14 : Charlie's Polka
31:15 - 33:26 : Can-Can
33:27 - 36:10 : Count the Stars
36:11 - 36:40 : Hungarian Dances
36:41 - 38:58 : Joyful and Triumphant
38:59 - 43:03 : Marriage of Figaro
(Those minute markers better have worked)
I like to pretend that this playthrough is the canon for the foundation of XCOM 2.
+spartan456
I hate to say it, but it makes sence
I would actually love to see an incompetent commander as a character based off of DSP.
+spartan456 lol
+Deadpools Sexy Hotline Dude I think you watch too much Rick and Morty but who care WOBBA LUBBA DUM DUM
+spartan456 There's a problem with this logic. Slight plot spoilers:
The alien's key asset was the Commander in taking over Earth because once they captured him/her, they used his/her mind as a tactical supercomputer, making hundreds upon thousands of possible tactical simulations in order to take down Earth's military and any similar pockets of resistance.
Which means that having someone like DSP as a tactical supercomputer would have probably fucking ruined the Alien's plans before they even began.
For people who don't understand how the enemies in this game work:
When you start a mission, the game spawns a number of randomized alien "pods," or groups, on the map, which will then proceed to stand or move around as their AI dictates. This movement is what goes on during "ALIEN ACTIVITY," even if you can't actually see the aliens yet. How many pods, how many aliens in a pod, what types of aliens in a pod, and where the pods spawn all depend on a variety of factors, including the map, the difficulty, the type of mission, the in-game campaign time, and plain RNG. Experienced and knowledgeable players are able to predict much of this information with relative certainty, given enough know-how of the game's habits.
If you get line of sight to a pod, without certain special equipment, that pod will almost always simultaneously gain line of sight to you, and get a free reaction turn to move into cover, prepare for the fight, and even possibly (if you're very poorly positioned) take a pot-shot at you. This is in the interests of fairness and game balance, as pods not activating until the end of your turn would make it trivial to expose them with a leading scout on your first move and then move up the rest of the squad to obliterate them, all before they can move into cover or even take an action. (This is why Mimetic Skin and Ghost Armor are such highly valued upgrades, as they make it possible to actually do things along these lines).
Because the pods work this way, one of the most invaluable tactics a player can learn is to move about the map cautiously and carefully, managing your lines of sight in such a manner so as to avoid alerting more than one pod at a time, for the sake of the obvious advantages that dealing with only one group of enemies at once bring.
If, while moving your soldiers through the map and lifting the fog of war, you reveal aliens, and then proceed to move forward some more, and reveal more aliens, and then move up AGAIN, and, suprise surprise, reveal yet more aliens, this is not the game spawning in aliens. This is you running into the already existing aliens like a certified dipshit.
I'm not very far in this video, but I'm willing to bet DSP never quite caught on to this.
(It's true that in very particular scenarios, such as VIP rescue missions or bomb missions, the game actually DOES spawn enemies into the map at (in?)opportune moments, but it always displays their entrances prominently, and it doesn't happen even _remotely_ as often as DSP seems to believe. Something like 95% of the enemies you'll encounter in the game work as pods).
(It's also worth noting that it's totally possible for aliens to wander into your line of sight and activate themselves, particularly if you're making a lot of noise, like with a firefight, as they tend to get attracted to that).
And when enemies activate on their turn, they still get the extra move to reposition themselves, but they will never ever shoot you. It can be advantageous to put yourself in a position where you know aliens will head your way and activate on their turn.
"I moved my guy into the open"
*guy dies*
"There was nothing I could have done this game is stupid"
*reloads*
*guy dies because he is still in the open*
"this game is cheating and stupid and bugged"
Space ship literally has 2 aliens inside.
*sees two aliens*
*loses sight of an alien for 1 turn and runs character into open, exposing the 2nd alien*
WTF OMG THIS GAME IS INFINITELY SPAWNING MORE ALIENS
lol 98% shot missed
Welcome to X-Com, scrublord.
XCOM 2 makes this cannon.
How?
This is all the proof we need that Phil has no right to be anywhere NEAR the RTS genre, or indeed ANY video game.
If they had real consequences in the real world, we'd be so fucked.
@@jacksimpson8529 They do have consequences. There's millions of people out there just like DSP. They're called 5-13 year olds. They're all over the world and their opinion matters (the parents buy them the games they want) and that's why games ever since the mid 2000's have constantly been more and more dumbed down. "Use mouse to look!"
@@kanac-6098 well, everything went to shit technically cause of you're commanding skills. How do you think you even had a chance against advent?
Imagine being one of his soldiers on the battlefield and hearing his shit through the radio. No wonder his units kept panicking
"There's nothing I could do about that!" Except, you know, place your soldiers in a better position, find better cover, equip the proper buffs and skills…But NO, DSP is right NOTHING he could have done.
I just wanted to say that I greatly appreciate the attention this video has been receiving since I first uploaded it.
It warms my heart to know that the 8 hours of shit I went through to edit this wasn't in vain. I thank all of you.
P-please whip more. (Aw, you removed a bit of your comment! Damn! Well, still, very good editing. I watch this a lot to kill time, as it's still very entertaining. Very good job~
So, he lost the overall game or what? it looked like all the members were almost gone from the iniciative ..
I knew this would be so terrible it would be wonderful..but..oh god...you nailed it with your music selections.
But seriously..even with all that save scumming..he was losing members on missions? wow...
I knew DSP was terrible, but that is a special sort of terrible.
Thank you for your suffering through his playthrough for us. Thank you so much.
BrennenQuinn
it's comments like these that get me through my shitty job
I hope you're alright after watching so many hours of that bullshit, dude. you deserve The Nobel Peace Prize. seriously.
*Thin Man spits poison at DPSs soldiers*
DSP: WTF HOW DID THEY GET POISONED? THEY WERENT POISNED A SECOND AGO, WHATAVER DUDE
Isn't phil special.
Very special indeed.
+Masticina Akicta Well, Phil does put the 'special' in 'special forces'. 🤗
"What? I can't hit someone across the map with a shotgun?! I NEVER HIT ANYTHING! NONSENSE! NOTHING I CAN DO! BUGGED! INSTANT DEATH! HAHAHAHA!"
plus i love he thinks the sniper guy can hit in close combat, have you ever try to use a sniper up close :P
Yeah. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that he has shotguns and sniper rifles confused.
"they both start with s, how was i suppose to know?"
"My parents were too busy buying me everything I wanted that they couldn't teach me how to read. Nothing I could do."
The fact that this video actually has more hits than DSP's part one of his XCOM playthrough is truly a victory for Humanity.
Who do we get to command our army?
DSP Sir
*Takes a deep breath* Ready your Cyanide pills
The council is going to shut us down, day 1.
Justin Pearce
*Uber Ethereal chillin' on the Temple ship*
"Ah, at last. Perhaps this species can harness the Gift..."
*Witnesses Phil's moaning and flailing*
"... Another wasted effort."
*Nukes planet*
SubZerosHat Commander Phil, hero of the ADVENT administration!
oh my i prefer to go to the alien , at least their council don't put dsp in command of their army ^^
epseudoo Yes I, for one, welcome our new space overloads. ALL HAIL GALACTIC LORD XENU!
The one good thing about watching these videos is that you feel like a gaming god after it's all over. Really helps your confidence.
True that
"Why the fuck are there so many aliens in this mission?!"
'ALIEN. BASE. ASSAULT.'
I died.
Saying "he bought it, he can play it how he wants" is not a valid argument. There is a right way to play games, and there is a wrong way to play games.
Our problem with Phil is not that he plays games in a way we don't like, it's that he COMPLAINS about why something isn't working when the game is clearly not designed to allow or support what he is doing.
Funny how the only time he reads anything on the screen in any game is when the game tells him a mission is "Very difficult", to which he immediately pussies out with WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO I CAN'T DO IT IT'S VERY DIFFICULT.
kotomixkyou You know, seeing that reminded me of something that happened a few days ago. After losing my most upgraded squad (which isn't saying much, considering i prioritized researching Meld technology over armor and weaponry so i could try it out for the first time), i was low on money, down to one Heavy class wise, and no upgrades to armor and weapons.
Then i get a Very Difficult mission, on what i think was a place that was on the verge of withdrawing. So i put together my last heavy, then a few rookies, without the proper gear, and sent them to their deaths. Or so i thought...
The mission was completed almost flawlessly, with all my squad surviving against Sectoids flyers (forget what they're called) and seekers, only 2 of my squadmates wounded, and it think all of them were promoted. So yeah, you are able to beat a Very Difficult mission, even if you're below the required gear, but knowing Phil, he'd probably get them all killed within 5 turns.
How did he even reach the alien base. It requires a arc thrower kill. How'd he pull that off.
Arc Thrower don't kill, they stun.
He did it with a lot of savescumming.
spartan456 You cant save scum in EU. All chance rolls are done at the beginning of the fight, so reloading always gives the same result. Unless he's actually playing within, which added it in second wave options.
Rainbow Dashtruction
No, you can savescum in EU. DSP had saves prior to every mission that he'd load up if shit hit the fan. If you load a save prior to launching a mission, the RNG is re-seeded and everything is different.
***** Abusing quicksave is a type of save scumming. And you cant reload every turn. In X-COM EU, they will keep the same RNG figure the entire battle, setting it when the fight starts, not between turns.
What really gets me is how he tries to snipe aliens with shotguns, then proceeds to bum rush the berserkers with his snipers and medics, then wonders why they die and he has nobody to heal his injured soldiers.
Who knew DSP being a commanding officer for these guys would be a universal cause for panic?
Tactical layer: Constantly forgets both class abilities and restrictions (plan on him complaining about squad-sighters and rocket launchers a lot if you watch the full let's play). Puts soldiers out in the open or into cover that's already being flanked and then is shocked when they get crit. When you have a soldier in low health, you move them away from the enemy. You don't leave them in low cover and just heal, because the alien can just shoot them AGAIN.
Double moving into unknown territory and triggering alien contact, when he knows the soldier can't do anything after that. 90 percent of the casualties in this video are from that, whether the save is reloaded or not. The double moves are also why he's constantly running out of ammo during fights, because he VERY rarely takes the time to move just once and reload, even when he knows reloading ends the soldier's turn.
In this game, just like in the old ones, new aliens will show up each month, regardless of whether or not you do the story missions (in vanilla EU, Sectoids Commanders and Ethereals are the ONLY exceptions that I know of). He just rushes through these games as fast as possible. You are always outnumbered in this game. Pick off the pods one at a time.
And, yes, high level enemies are going to have much more health and do much more damage. Welcome to video games. Normal mode is extremely forgiving and that's the only reason he made it to the mid-late game. In Classic mode, with AI restrictions off, it would have been a massacre.
People were giving him crap for constantly reloading the save to save soldiers from dying. Let's be honest. That was the only way he had even a chance to beat normal difficulty. XCOM is a game about learning from mistakes. DSP doesn't learn from anything.
Pro-tip, Phil: Sitting next to cover is not the same as sitting in cover, you plum.
>Doesn't use cover
>Keeps soldiers very close to each other
>Doesn't upgrade weapons and armor
>Blames the game
Lol, what a scrublord
To be fair, I keep most of my soldiers together unless the game gives me really good cover options. Most of the time your only good options are clumps of heavy cover surrounded by tons of light cover or no cover.
Of course when the aliens learn to throw grenades that's when I stop doing that shit lol.
>Plays strategy game
>Uses no strategy whatsoever
Wyrmeye >Lol le fanni maymay arrows
spartan456 Even if I spread out my soldiers, the Eggsalt soldiers would just spam grenades on anyone in full cover.
Fucking Eggsalt.
0xC0FFEE1
Eggsalt can fuck right off with their shit. They were harder to fight than the actual aliens.
"I guess other people might like this but I hate reloading over and over"
I always play Ironman, punk.
Phil plays all the finest games of our generation and says they suck, lol
Why are his troops never in cover? I can't handle it
They want to stand out in the open because they are so ashamed of who their commander is.
even the aliens understand that these are mercy killings.
Strategy layer: "The game didn't explain that you need satellites and it didn't explain that you need to be interceptors for more continents." Yes it did and yes it did. Just like it told you how to open doors without moving through them.
Almost completely ignores laser weapons: no pistols, shotguns, rifles or heavies. Which is fine if you are rushing plasma weapons but stupid if you aren't. So half the soldiers are left flapping in the wind for much of the game for literally no actual reason.
He starts in NA and then makes great use of the bonus by almost never purchasing Ravens or craft weapons. When he finally starts making Firestorms, he thinks he can take on the Overseer with Avalanche Missiles, the weakest aircraft weapons in the game. No...just no. I think the game could have given the planes' weapons some detailed stats but it shouldn't take a genius to figure out "Maybe I should start putting some laser cannons and then plasma cannons on my planes."
He complains he doesn't have money. Sell something. He's blatantly told by fans that the vendor trash with the green highlighted letters are safe to sell. He sells them in one video, and then of course he completely forgets about it for the rest of the playthrough. At one point he sells 100 alloys when he had undamaged 6 stasis tanks and dozens of corpses of each alien type.
He ended the playthrough after a mistake results in 5-level panic in a country that has a satellite. DSP's panic management for the entire game was absolute garbage, because he mostly did easier abduction missions instead of the ones with higher panic in the country. He already had 7 countries leave the council. Unless there was a council mission or terror mission in that country, DSP had effectively lost the game. Hence why the walkthrough abruptly stops after he captures the supply barge. People had already assumed he wouldn't complete it, as he sucked at the game in general.
Much of these issues would be fixed by basic reading or even research of the game or watching some playthroughs. I know many LPers do playthroughs completely blind and that's part of the appeal, discovering problems they don't know the answer to and having to adjust. But if there's one series you probably don't want to do that kind of thing for, it's XCOM. If nothing else, you need to have a mastery of the basics.
The fact that he was getting his ass kicked on normal difficulty is just hilarious.
wait, wait.
does he think, that the abductions and terror missions, are scripted story missions?
not surprised
XD I have never seen XCOM soldiers panicking this much. Oh, wait, right...
"Wait... Who's our commander, Central?"
"DSP"
"OH MY GOD. WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE."
BLACKIESBOY well I would panic to if I was a soldier going up against a technologically superior force from space whale being lead by a commander lacking critical thinking skills
XD
"EVERYBODY PANIC. IT'S LIKE THE TITANIC BUT IT'S FULL OF GOUT"
"Fuckin' bugged morale mechanics, dood..."
"First of all, I don't know how many enemies are on the map or where they're coming from"
I laughed for like a full minute, oh man.
Sent this vid to another friend that plays
'he can't figure out the camera? this is gonna be painful isn't it?'
" a turn based strategy game, not much of these games"
REALLY? FUCKING REALLY? Nigga I can name 10 over the top of my head come on man
MLPAiden It's just that most of them never make it to consoles, because strategy isn't usually sells well on consoles. Firaxis even said X-com 2 will not be ported to consoles because of that. Imagine my surprise when they about half-year after the release said that they're going to port it to consoles after all.
3:50 "I didn't know how many there would be, I didn't know where they would be coming from"
IT'S CALLED ENEMY UNKNOWN
IT'S THE THEME OF THE GAME
Actually it becomes pretty predictable after a short while.
Yes, that is a legitimate complaint when you've gotten to your third or fourth playthrough and you realize that council missions are all 'designed' and you will always encounter specific sets of enemies at certain points, but it's still *the theme of the game* and it pulls it off very well!
I love how phil uses shotguns at mile distances, but uses sniper rifles point blank.
Oh wait, MGS3 showed me this already.
One thing I noticed about Phil is that he holds absolutely no value for a Squad Sight Sniper, something that is absolutely broken in this game but considering he wants to move his units every turn he thinks its worthless. The Irony about this is the fact that he doesn't push anywhere near as much as he should be considering flanking shots are everything when it comes to getting past difficult encounters or... you know, not putting your units next to each other. This entire play through is based on an incredibly piss poor attempt to even try to understand game mechanics and acting like EVERYTHING is luck based.
Also take note that he almost practically avoids using any sort of support items like smoke grenades, or giving his soldiers better side arms, both of these things would've made this million times less painful.
I feel so much better about my shitty XCOM skills upon watching this.
me too.
DZZY KZZY same.
05:13 - 'How is that fair? I had 0 clue where the aliens were.'
"A strong man doesn't need to read the future, he makes his own."
-Solid Snake
He could have retained something from his MGS1 playthrough, but making snobbishly crass jokes was a higher priority, apparently.
His troops are missing so much because Rookies (the starting rank for all troops) have exceptionally low Aim. Something like ~70. As they rank up, their aim gets better. Shotguns and Sniper weapons are the only guns in the game that modify a soldier's aim based on distance.
A sniper gets more accurate as distance increases. A shotgun gets less accurate as distance increases, and vice versa.
The fact that he never understood this is a huge reason why he was sucking at the game.
When the average CoD player plays a game designed for people with an age/IQ above 7
To be fair, DSP is way dumber than the average Cod player.
"Weapon is out of ammo? Camahn, it's a laser!"
Yeah, XCOM, what the hell are you doing? Phil should have programmed this stoopid game. He knows exactly how weaponized lasers would work...
I have over 500 hrs on Xcom 2 and I still haven't seen this many soldiers out of cover.
Every line of dialogue when a solider panics sums up exactly what I was feeling when editing his LP.
At least I know there is someone worse at XCOM than me
One of the biggest things my friend ever taught me when I was new to XCOM, was to use cover and always use overwatch when in cover.
It amuses me how Phil fails to grasps the basic concepts of cover, I'm not shocked but rather amused he ran right into it.
Always using overwatch in cover might be a bad advice.
In certain situations hunker down is more important f.e. when enemies with high hit chance are in overwatch and you only have half cover.
Overwatch would do nothing since the enemies will just shoot at you. Hunker down gives you additional defense.
harmian My soldiers were like super charged that I never used hunker down late game. That's mainly where I kept using overwatch.
He really doesn't. Look at his Max Payne 3 play through.
Giordan Diodato I did.
He experienced two bugs and overblows it like it's a completely crap game.
And it's not, I thought it was an incredible game.
"I see how people could like this game, but I just don't want to reload every turn..."
It's amazing to me how Phil thinks people like this game because they reload every bad RNG roll, when any XCOM vet is going to tell you the only "true" way to play this game is Ironman.
agreed, either put up or get the fuck out for Vets
A remake of the best game of all time vs one of the worst players of all time. I love how this guy hates everything that makes a game great.
The guy doesn't even follow the basic first rule, which is take cover or die. That right there is already a big sign that things aren't going to go well.
I learned that you can use the grapple with Skeleton armor to completely nullify the reaction fire from suppression. It happened in multiplayer, too. My last guy was cornered by two mutons, and I said "fuck it" and grappled to the cab of this truck I was behind. No reaction shot was taken on my guy, and I got a flanking crit on the muton he was using to rush me, and the muton that was suppressing me missed.
Talk about luck.
"Even for like a top team of 6 people who could do that?!" I did, without any deaths and most of my team made it out with little to no scratches.
Elder 1: We finally made it to the planet Earth....ripe for the taking of their DNA.
Elder 2: Uh.....look at that one.....
(Target Phil 'Fucktard' Burnell)
Elder 3: No...no..no no, fuck that we are going home!
oh ho ho shit guys it's the one year anniversary
seriously, stop being a PC elitist douchebag. -_-
Giordan Diodato
shut up
spartan456 no
Giordan Diodato
For the record I'm not a PC elitist. There's nothing wrong with stating fact.
FACT: XCOM is a broken ass port on consoles
FACT: I've never experienced a single bug with the game on PC
sorry for just being truthful, unless of course the bugs are just intended to be features of the console version of the game.
spartan456 Yeah having played the PS3 and Mac versions of the game I must agree the console version is kind of a hot mess in comparison.
Imagine phil playing Fallout 1, Good god just the thought of it gives me dread.
***** How did I forget about the original x-com games. imagine him playing it,
Man that would be a nightmare.
*****
And to add the icing: "Not my fault, the controls are shit."
I can see it now, Phil manages to lose the game's very dumb AI.
"Wowwww! The ARMY OF BIG GREEN MEN WITH MINIGUNS fucks up my whole gang armed only with switchblades! This is so stupid."
Seriously, I can't understand how people think the game is hard other than your allies being shown with the same red highlight as the enemies until you get a perk (they have the exact same sprites as enemies). The game really is much easier than people remember.
Prepare Your Brainus Ha. But I'd also assume he'd spew sex jokes every time he sees an opportunity to do so...Which is unlikely, He'd probably say it every two seconds to the worst things you could say it at.
The game is quite hard for people who only just started. Considering fallout 3 and new vagas are utterly different to fallout 1 and 2
But after getting use to it, It's actualy quite easy.
Fallout 2 is still a pain in the arse though.
Which is what make's it sort of entertaining.
Redgar I agree that Fallout 2 is way harder, I also had difficulty with the Glow in F1 until I looked it up and found out you could have chem effects stack (like rad-x, which is very useful to take before getting to the Glow), but Fallout 1 isn't that hard, even the Super Mutants in Necropolis can be taken out with timed explosives due to the AI not reacting to it.
I still find it hilarious that Phil doesn't understand 100-98=2 meaning you can still miss. Im horrible at math, and I get that.
He just doesn't get it. Every time its the games fault, not his. Let us pray that this guy never gets children. THIS IS SO STOOOOOPID
don't let dsp touch a strategy game.
Phil is the definition of the CoD kid...
More like pubg child
Spetz playz???!
The internet is really tiny!!
@@ciellight i'm around... :P
Imagine him play total war or one of those paradox games xD
NapoleonBonaparde WOOOOWWW, FRANCE DECLARED WAR ON ME AFTER I INVADED THEM, HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN?
spartan456 Bugged diplomacy mechanics xD
+NapoleonBonaparde WHAT THE FUCK, AUSTRIA'S AT WAR WITH ME AFTER I DECLARED WAR ON SAXONY?
And there's still more! Still mooooah!
+NapoleonBonaparde imagine him playing long war mod for this
Holy crap his assaults are still using shotguns when there's stuff like Mutons on the field. Lasers son, research them.
The world never stood a chance with DSP as the Commander.
He should play the original X-COM.
[Drinks bleach]
Oh man, I would pay too see that one XD That game Is way more complex that the reboot, I enjoy the much complexity the original have. Too bad the reboot dont have some of the feature. If DSP play he run out off money one first moth
I don't necessarily agree that UFO Defense is more complex. In some ways it is, as it has an awful lot of fiddly bits, but a lot of those fiddly bits don't actually add much, they're just Another Thing to Do. (About the only interesting things not carried over are the ability to build multiple bases, full inventories, and, to an extent, Time Units. Oh, and alien missions/base assaults, those were neat, if a bit undeveloped). Enemy Unknown (and XCOM 2) are streamlined, but reveal their complexity in the many different types of soldiers and aliens, and the various interactions of their abilities. The tactical layer and to an extent the Geoscape just has so many more options at any given point - yes, you don't have to buy individual magazines anymore, but that kind of thing pretty much never *mattered*. I mean, yes, it could screw you over if you forgot it, but I don't think anyone actually spent much time pondering the strategic implications of purchasing ammo.
DSP, like many of us on the first playthrough, didn't know about the RNG seed. One time I tried stunning a heavy floater with 70 percent chance. It failed. Then I reloaded. It failed. And failed. And failed. And failed. Finally, I just let the turn go through, let the soldier take the damage, and stunned it next turn.
A similar thing happened when I tried stunning a berzerker. I was starting to realize that maybe the game had some kind of file or system or whatever in place so that the dice rolls for the exact same events had the exact same results, specifically to prevent players from doing exactly what I was doing. And I wasn't a 30 year old man, and self-proclaimed "One of the best overall players in the country."
DSP "WHUT? An light plasma rifle that does six damage can crit for NINE?! Exposed/flanked soldiers are more likely to be crit?! This game is STOOPID!"
His first trip to the alien base with no laser weapons or armor. There IS a strategy where you go to it as soon as possible to hopefully get weaker enemies. But you do so with less powerful gear, so you have to know what you are doing.
"why would I take cover? this is stupid."
haha what
opinion discarded
rock jumper This is why XCOM in the second game is a ragtag group.
I love your TH-cam icon
You know the funny thing after watching some of this is... I mean I'm not an amazing XCom player so I've certainly experienced the whole, "Welp, that's two pods of aliens that I just aggroed on my turn, I am so fucked". I think it's inevitable at least a few times in most playthroughs. But... the random moments of disaster, and sometimes the narrow escapes from the disaster are what give you some of the best stories from this game. It's kind of a shame all he seems to do is bitch and moan.
He actually uses 1st tier assault rifles on colonels on a mothership/alien base. Why? How? How did he even get this far with those weapons.
I guess from a bunch of reloaded saves XD
I'm gonna guess constant loading and trial and error.
"Wtf, how'd this alien hit me, I was holding back!"
How the balls did he get into the alien base with just basic armor and weapons? By the time you see chrysallids and mutons you should be getting lasers and carapace...
When the long war mod came out I didn't install it right and basically every soldier on my team had only 1 shot before they would have to reload. Made it to the base. When there's a will there's a way lol
DSP's one good feature, and his most powerful, is his sheer persistence.
***** Yes persistence, and failure!
DSP Drinking game
sip every time he swears
sip every time he does stupid
drink every time he says "Bullsh*t
Drink every time a character dies
Finish your drink every time he restarts
+Spearka
why do you hate my liver
I ended up in the emergency room for extreme alcohol poisoning. Great drinking game, would play again 9/10 -IGN.
+Nazanir ayy/10
DSP Tries it: Failing to build new weapons and armor
So funny, Phil raging while in the background "happy" music plays. Lmao.
If he expects this game to be Fire Emblem, then he should just be playing Fire Emblem.
He'd never make it through that game, because that game relies almost entirely on doing math and tilting the odds in your favour, anything that requires him to think he's guaranteed to hate it.
lich109 I understand, but that game at least has room for error. You can take back moves. You can buy potions for tough missions. This game can screw you over even if you do everything right. When you don't do ANYTHING right, you pay the price in XCOM, which Phil did.
You can reverse *movement*, but not actual combat. Items are expensive and healing requires an action. Later enemies can outright one-shot a lot of units. With this level of competence, he'd *run out of units* in short order. At least you can't really do that in XCOM.
Fire Emblem would kick his ass too lul
*edit realized the comment was made 6 years ago lol whoops
I've been thinking of getting into Fire Emblem, specifically Awakening. When you say "like Fire Emblem", what exactly do you mean?
Did he seriously bring a team with base level equipment to the alien base assault?
This video...I can't...I just can't watch this guy fail so much at XCOM...I mean, I understand having rotten luck or bad planning every now and then, but Phil is just painful to watch. It makes me sad :c
Can't imagine how horrible it must've been to watch and edit the whole thing. Respect.
almost nine years later and this still gives me life
>purple
Now, my Xcom fan side don't wanna see him ruined XCom 2, but my evil side kinda wanna see him getting his ass penetrated by upgraded Chrysalid in XCom 2.
+Lazenby “Asriel” Kilkila Bwahahahahaha. You wanted to say triple penetrated by cocoon pack?
"All of a sudden I never fucking hit anything"
Yeah, we've all been there.
this physically hurt to watch
The Blue Kommandant I KNOW ROIGHT?!?
Well, sir, it seems you graduated from the storm trooper marksman academy.
You misunderstand my intentions, and the intentions of others who have made videos like this.
I don't hate Phil because he trashes games I like, nor do others who share the same feelings as I do. We hate Phil because he plays a game, and plays it in a way that it was never designed to be played, and then he trashes the game, blaming his problems on bugs, glitches, and developer faults rather than blaming himself.
That's X-Com, baby.
Level 10 Khajiit Highwayman I need to play this again now that I actually have some tactical prowess
Was he really against elites with heavy plasma, and all he had was ballistics? Sad, sad, sad.
Skips missions. Doesn't upgrade weapons and armour. Gets bodied by Mutons.
GaMeS bUgGeD.
Oh Christ, I'm at the very beginning of this video and I honestly can't wait to see how Phil does. Some people give the new XCOM shit for being 'dumbed down' but I just have a feeling that its tactical and strategic complexity is going to be a biiit beyond a guy who got a game over in the tutorial of GTA 5.
Only two minutes in but I already appreciate the effort you took to edit, add music and effects, etc. It definitely adds to the entertainment value.
One of DSP's main excuses is that he didn't know or was never told a bad thing was going to happen to him... and he often says this at the same time as the game flat-out tells him and he just fails his Spot check.
"First of all, I didn't know how many there was going to be, I didn't know where they were coming from, there was no way to plan the fight." Yes, I believe that's literally the point. With the mysterious/creepy ambiance and whatnot; the whole theme of 'danger can lurk anywhere' is reinforced at multiple levels.
Seeing DSP, the textbook example of a whiny scrub with zero skill, take on a series like XCOM that, even on Normal Modo, demands basic skills and caution from its player and delights in actually challenging you, is amazing.
I promise not to spam comments every two minutes but whoa.
Okay final one.
"Okay let's be ballsy and assume we're gonna kill him no matter what."
You were already dead, Phil. XCOM is programmed to listen for confidence and assumptions and specifically thwart them as much as possible.
Also whoa I've never seen anybody save-load so much without any acknowledgement that, at the very least, it's them fucking up and getting people killed rather than bugged ammo mechanics (such as guns running out of ammo when you shoot them a lot).
HuntrBlackLuna
You know what's funny? I specifically showed that bit where he says "Let's assume we're gonna kill him no matter what" for the very reason that XCOM knows when you're being overconfident.
spartan456 Xcom watches you sleep at night!! :O
No, he just has really bad luck and is also doing something wrong. Even if you have a 95% chance to hit, you should have a plan ready to go in the event that 95% doesn't hit.
I didn't know what to do! Well, would've helped to have your unit in cover instead of standing in the middle of nowhere
"why do I get the worst bugs?" karma, Phil.
Tries to shoot trough the wall with a shot gun.
"Why the hell do i keep missing?"
Ive had some embarrassing screw ups with XCOM (like not capturing the OBVIOUSLY DIFFERENT alien that materializes that progresses the story and totally forgotting about my ship dock section till the very end) I havent had the nuts to finish classic yet, but fuck me. XCOM IS a challenge on normal but that 1st 7 minutes of fail ALONE is enough to boost my confidence to do Impossible.
FTR I only reloaded twice on my entire playthrough
Just got the game from a Steam sale. The first thing I wondered was how DSP's gonna fuck this one up. I was not disappointed.
I'd love to see him do Site Recon.
Wow. When I played, I was worried when Mexico and Japan had 4 panic each. But this...just...wow.
I guess thanks for showing me how much room for error I have before it REALLY gets bad.
As a veteran XCOM player, this is fucking pathetic to watch.
Theodore Hodbor I'm a noob myself but GET SOME SMARTS AND GROW SOME BALLS YOU SAD EXCUSE FOR A GAMER!!! EVEN I KNOW WHAT IM DOING! THANK YOU ODD AND BEAGLE! THANK YOU FOR YOUR VALUABLE INTEL! FUCK YOU PHIL MAKING A MOCKERY OF LEARNING FROM YOUR MISTAKES AND ACTUALLY NOT PLAYING THIS GREAT GAME THE WAY IT WASNT SUPPOSE TO!!!!
Even as a casul xcom player, this is pathetic to watch.
I can only imagine the incompetence and whining if he ever Attempted xcom 2 and found an alien ruler.
Nah. Think about him tackling the original XCom...or Terror from the Deep for that matter...
My absolute favorite is when he ran OUT of good cover, into a position where the soldier is then flanked by the enemy. Fucking amazing. It's like a work of art. Also, I didn't watch the playthrough obviously, did he EVER use the sidearm pistol when complaining about having to reload?
I feel sorry for any entity that is required to call DSP boss
To be fair, X-Com Enemy Unknown, while fun, is pretty brutal. But that's why we have an easy mode for people like Phil.
The top difficulty is so brutal, I pretty much ragequitted from trying to beat the game on it. XD
Lone Wulf you mean impossible? good god impossible. my entire tactic for impossible is PRAY TO THE RANDOM NUMBER GODS
i think phil was playing on easy or normal though..... man he sucks
Even on easy for a first time player like me its fair but as you progress it gets much more harder. More Alien activity around the globe countries leave the council
It drives me insane!
the whole idea is that you need to try to balance the game but you can't do so indefinitely so you need to become strong enough to kill the uber ethereal. but DSP could not even make it that far because of his sub par tactics.
My heart clenched when I saw this in the sidebar
I didn't know
After all my time, playing this game
I never knew
I looked up what games he played. When I saw that he played this... I finally felt what all the others felt, especially the people who love metal gear solid.
The way that DSP plays games is exactly like that one kid that everybody knew at some point in their life who couldn't do any of their homework. Not out of stupidity, but out of ignorance or laziness.
You know exactly what I'm talking about. If someone hands you a sheet of paper with addition problems on it, you know what to do. If someone hands DSP a paper with addition problems on it, he will ignore the instructions and try to subtract, multiply, and divide.
I can assure you that he did trigger it. I failed to include a majority of the gameplay, as not much was going on and it was filled with DSP's contemplation of the given scenario, not his delicious tears.
He really sounds like he's about to cry at times.
Lol he can't handle it XD
Xavier Smith He's crying.
At a strategy game.
At XCom.
Not even about losing soldiers he has gotten attached to.
Just because he's so shit at it.
Yeah :/
It's kinda sad to see him fail so bad.
The way DarksydePhil played _XCOM: Enemy Unknown_ was genuinely frustrating to me. I've never played the game myself, but I've seen enough of it to know:
(Long post inbound. Sorry.)
- You can't fire a rocket launcher (or sniper rifle*) on the same turn you move.
(He "didn't know that!" despite the fact he learned it two videos prior.)
- Snipers work best from long distances.
(He moves his snipers with the rest of his team.)
- Assaults work best from close distances.
(Though he's lucky enough to get Shotgun shots with a 23% hit rate...)
- Squadsight on a sniper is absolutely amazing and works with Battle Scanners.
(He gave both his snipers Snap Shot, which eliminates the "no move and fire" rule.)
- *Shotguns are not sniper rifles.*
(Unless you're playing _Doom_.)
- *Sniper rifles are not shotguns.*
(Unless you're playing _Counter-Strike_.)
- Aliens don't get "cheap shots" on you unless they're on Overwatch when you find them.
(Even if your turn ends, it's not a "cheap shot".)
- There are no take-backs.
(Unless you're playing _Enemy Within_. I think.)
- Pistols are incredibly useful at times.
(Particularly on Snipers and Assaults.)
- "Difficulty" is very misleading.
(It usually means there's more/stronger aliens on a map, but that's about it.)
- Keeping countries on the Council is *very important* for resources.
(He lets a lot of them reach full Panic and leave due to the aforementioned "difficult" missions.)
On the bright side, I do like some of the names he came up with for units.
Hm! I learned something today. Thank you muchly! I will definitely be applying this to when I finally grab my copy of the game.
shotgun and aliens in the distance hahaha
"i cant hit them" 😂😂😂
same guy who tried to fight a elite sniper and shouted : WHERES MY SHOTGUN THEY ROBBED ME DUUUUDE!. -dsp playing mgs3 fighting the end.
31:36
*Berserker shows up soon after the mission starts*
XCOM operative: "I wanna go home!"
*Actually takes cover*
DSP: "Why is he panicking? What an idiot."