Quick side note, not wanting kids and not being able to reproduce are very different. If you want kids, and someone else doesn’t, a relationship likely wouldn’t work out in the long run. There are other ways to have kids besides being able to reproduce, including methods that would still give the cis-parent a biological child. If u really need a biological child with both parents’ DNA, ok whatever lmao. anyways love u bye 💚 Instagram & Twitter: @_samanthalux
This is so true. I also currently don’t want to ever be pregnant be I do want children so I hope some day I can adopt even if I am with someone who could get me pregnant
www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/science/2019/apr/11/baby-with-dna-from-three-people-born-in-greece-ivf and with mitochondrial DNA included... we can use THREE people’s DNA
Personally I would love to have a baby with the person I love that is half me/ half my loved one. I always dreamed of that. So I have to admit that if I learnt that the person I am about to date is infertile, I might reconsider. And I feel bad for that because of course it's a very sensitive matter and I can't imagine how sad I was if I was the one who can't get biological children. But if I am already talking to someone who I like, I would never reject them for their infertility at that point. Of course I would be sad, but you can be sad together now and maybe adopt. At that point I feel like, if i can't have a child the "natural" way, that's the way I would go. I'm sorry English isn't my first language and after writing this I think I have to take back what I wrote first. Obviously I would only go on a date with someone I like. You could make it work if he's the right one. So sorry for tiping all of this, just to come to the conclusion that you shouldn't reject anyone for being infertile, but I thought it would be nice to share my thoughts with you. Maybe to get other people to think twice as well. Wishing you the best and sorry for my bla bla bla 😂
Yep, it's happened to me a couple of times. Or the other situation that happens is that when they find out I can't have kids they just want to 'keep things casual' ie have sex with me while still looking for a woman to breed. Um, no thanks.
@@weasel7491 I feel like that's a very valid reason though. Not agreeing on wanting/not wanting kids would mean one partner is unhappy for the rest of their life. It's not just disagreeing on a haircut or something, one's whole life and dreams are affected by the wish to have/not have kids. I think it's very important to find a partner who is agreeing on this with you.
But if Trans women are really women, then straight men should be attracted to them isn't that what a straight man means? a man who is attracted to women? if straight people are not attracted at all to all trans women then either they are either bigoted or maybe trans women aren't really women
Yes, though that doesn't mean that the reasoning isn't bigoted. For instance, a white supremacist has the right to not date black people, but that doesn't mean their reasoning isn't based on unjust hatred and/or prejudice.
I really wanna make it incredibly, explicitly clear that you never ever _ever_ are obligated to date _anybody._ You do not owe anyone any kind of relationship. Never let anyone convince you that you owe them something. Edit: Besties this comment was not an invitation for transphobia I'm literally a trans man
That's right. So, I tell those not being able to take "no" for an answer: This mentality alone tells me you're still a "male". I don't care how much make up or plastic surgeries you go through. You men never change.
Everyone here knows that. That doesn't need to be said. The point is, that doesn't mean that their reason for being uncomfortable with it isn't transphobic. Just like how a person can say no to dating somebody because they are of a certain race and they don't like people of that race, but that doesn't mean they aren't racist. You're confusing a right to do something with whether or not that exercising that right is based on rational reasoning.
@@technoloverish They were just making a side point, as some people in these comments get carried away thinking everyone owes someone a relationship; and whilst everyone may know ‘no means no’, not everyone understands that, there’s no harm in reiterating ‘no means no’. I don’t believe OP is confusing anything, but simply stating a fact that can be easy to forget in these debates.
@@technoloverish I'm gay and personally not attracted to trans men. I do not like surgically altered bodies, and trans men fall under that getting their breasts cut off and undergoing a phalloplasty. Plus I dont like vaginas
@@technoloverish stop comparing it to race homeboy. Being trans isn’t like being black. I don’t have to break down why I don’t want to date a trans woman. You can call me transphobic, I don’t care. Just don’t publicly shame people and get them fired from their jobs because nobody wants to sleep with a “woman” with a dick. And besides, rather than focusing on a relationship and dictating others responses, maybe trans people should figure out who they are first. It’s not our fault they aren’t getting laid
But if Trans women are really women, then straight men should be attracted to them isn't that what a straight man means? a man who is attracted to women? if straight people are not attracted at all to all trans women then either they are either bigoted or maybe trans women aren't really women
@@MZONE991 nah I think straight people are very varied just like people of any sexuality. a straight person might refuse an attractive trans person because they prefer certain genitals & it matters to them in a relationship, a straight person may also accept a trans person while still identifying as straight because they care more about the trans persons gender identity than their biological traits. it’s personal preference & doesnt make trans women not women (or any other trans person of any other gender identity). also gender is very complicated & although it can be influenced by sex they’re not completely overlapping, like you could probably get a whole team of scientists and psychologists and sociologists and historians to study it. I’m not trans myself but the general consensus I get is that trans people just feel more comfortable identifying as a gender other than what was assigned at birth & so that’s that. I don’t have all the answers on gender either, I just think respecting trans people is something I can do that doesn’t take much effort but can do a lot in helping them feel comfortable
@@percabethisawesome1163 that's part of the reason why I am gender critical male and female have virtually become meaningless abstractions, if male and female have nothing to do with gametes then what the hell do they mean anymore? also you are wrong in your last point, science ha shown that transitioning does not cure gender dysphoria see a paper titled "Correction to Bränström and Pachankis" it's one of the biggest studies on this issue
@@MZONE991 they are not biologically women. So the op is correct because biologically straight people are not attracted to people who were at one point biologically the same the same sex.
@@MZONE991 well I mean men and women are defined by gametes contrarily to what much of the lgbtq+ community tries to say. But, that is why we call them trans women. To be honest it confuses me.
Not everyone is incel if they don't think like you. accept it and move on. everyone has their opinion on this topic, . nobody is forcing anyone here. :)
@@laretakomely5151 in a sense some people are trying to shame heterosexual people to date trans people. Here is the game they play. They say It’s ok if you don’t like to date trans women…but than turn around and say.., but if you like women why don’t you like trans women because trans women are no different than any other women so if you don’t like trans women you are transphobic lol.
@@laretakomely5151 not saying that people are incels if they don’t think like me, I’m saying that it’s incel behavior if people are throwing a fit over people not dating someone. Real incels throw fits when women or men in general don’t date them. I’ve seen some people call others transphobic for not dating trans people. It’s the same situation but different people
@@myquirkisfred9614 I don't agree with you. trans people are a minority. I can understand that sometimes there may be a prejudice or stigma Transphobia. but none or most forces them. everyone makes their choices . even if you are a cis person i dont know if you are trans or whatever .. but who has experienced being a minority the stigma on dating you should not speak without knowing.
@@laretakomely5151 You’re just throwing around a bunch of words to try to sound smart when it’s obvious to everyone here you’re not, he’s talking about something simple if someone rejects you, and you throw a fit about it you are a incel, it does not matter wether you agree or not that’s a fact of life. You’re a toxic person if you try to dehumanize someone that rejects you and no amount of being “trans” gets you out of it. Your “minority” argument goes for racism, trans isn’t a race and anyone can be prejudice, also anyone can be an incel. It’s beginning to seem like you are one
@@direlinqqed @@direlinqqed sym·pa·thy /ˈsimpəTHē/ understanding between people So uh... no. I was correct. I ripped these off of google so feel free to look it up.
I don’t think it’s transphobic to have preferences. HOWEVER it IS transphobic to hate or be disgusted that that person is trans and refuse to acknowledge who you are.
@@ebogar42 You can't disagree "scientifically" if "science" doesn't even agree with you... You only disagree because you've never taken the time to learn anything regarding sex and gender... So yes, it's pretty transphobic to not acknowledge a trans person's identity, whether you're using your lack of scientific knowledge or not to justify that transphobia.
@@nibbatron6283 Dipshit, I've read all the studies. They have no peer reviews. That isn't how science is done, you know that right? A few studies filled with words like, "maybe", "possibly", "Could be" isn't science. You're reading data mixed in with an opinion, but no real facts to back it up. It's not transphobic if I don't believe there are more than two genders moron. You are the ones that have to prove it to people. Not the other way around when biologically gender and sex has always been interchangeable. This idea that there are a million genders is a very new theory with little evidence it back it up. If you all actually studied science you would know how scientific theory works. It has to go through tons of studies and lots of peer review studies before you can call it facts. Keep playing a victim though and acting like everyone hates you for not accepting you for who you think you are with no evidence you're right. What makes you right? Without using gender norms or society constructs, what makes you think you're the opposite gender than the sex you were born with?
@@titanblade3706 That's stupid. You're asking me to go against what I think scientifically to appease your feelings and if I don't I'm transphobic? What exactly am I afraid of? How does you or anyone else thinking they're male or female affect my life? Why would I hate someone just because I don't agree with them? You all pull the victim card more than anyone. Not agreeing with you doesn't mean anyone hates you. If I hated you or didn't like you for how you thought, you would definitely know.
I completely disagree when you said that not telling someone that your trans isn’t lying. It is. If someone is very clearly under the assumption that you are a Cis woman and you are aware of this, not telling them has the exact same effect as lying to them. Leading trans people to believe that not telling who their dating that their trans is fine because it “didn’t come up in conversation” or “they didn’t ask” is incredibly dangerous for trans people.
Very true. It’s important to disclose that information so that the other person can make a choice as to whether or not they will accept dating a trans person. If a trans person is afraid of a violent response, they probably don’t want to date a person who could potentially harm them for being deceitful. Besides, it’s best to just admit you are trans in a text before meeting up so there’s no risk of violence.
@@sittinginthedaisies5415 it's a lie by omission, and this case it's nothing short of grooming. You should know that not everyone is ready to date trans people, you should know that people have boundaries, that no means no and it's 2023, grow up.
@@waffleempress5772 NOPe it’s not they will bring it up if there having intercourse but other than that they will tell them when there ready. Because it’s dangerous being trans and we have been beaten coming out to people.
@@sittinginthedaisies5415 then DO NOT LIE TO PEOPLE. And grow up. I repeat, a lie by omission is *still* a lie. No matter how many “nopes” you type. You cannot just reveal this important detail when it’s time to drop your pants. You cannot manipulate people into dating you. Let. Them. Choose. Right. Away. Let them leave if it’s not for them. Or your behavior is no better than that of a rapist or, at the very least, a groomer.
Damn I can absolutely understand wanting a biological family I don't think that's an odd thing at all however to ditch your partner because you discovered they were infertile...sounds kinda mean doesn't it like where did all your love go
@@sarahbarabe8470 In many societies, marriage has nothing to do with love. For 1000s of years, marriages were arranged. Only in the last 200 years in the west has casual dating existed. In parts of the middle east & parts of India, casual dating still doesn't exist. Male + female relationships in most of recorded human history had nothing to do with love. It was only about procreation. I don't know of any married cis gender M+F couples past 10 years of marriage who have remained happy. lol. PS, I am not saying arranged marriage is good. I am just using that to make my point that married with children is not about being happy. It is about procreation. I don't know of any married with children who are happy. When asked, they answer tha they're proud of their kids but they never say that they're happy. That's why relationships outside cis M-F is often (not always) labelled by many (no all) as "gay". In old English "gay" meant happy with zero other meanings to the word. These relationships are all about finding happiness. I ramble. My whole point is that maybe the cis M-F couple Jerry N was referring to broke up because they never really loved each other. They were attracted to what they thought was their best chance for procreation.
@@sarahbarabe8470 It might be mean, but if you want kids then you have to do what you have to do and get rid of them and find a partner that can have them.
@@sarahbarabe8470 I don't think it's necessarily mean, it broke my dad's heart when he broke up with a girlfriend of his because she was infertile. He loved her, he saw a life with her, but in the end he couldn't see himself having kids any other way than the "au natural" way. And honestly I think both people deserve that. They deserve the truth and to be able to find someone who can accept their whole self. It would be more mean for my dad to have held onto that women knowing that it was a deal breaker for him
You’re really sweet, but yes a lot of people WOULD and DO break up with infertile partners. It’s actually a valid reason for divorce in some religions.
@@penetrasean No, it isn't. It may not be very important to you, but some people have a strong desire to have children. No person is entitled to anyone staying with them despite it ruining their life because they don't want to hurt the other persons feelings.
@@Line... couldn't have said it better. Everyone should seek their version of a full life and have the decency to let others seek theirs too when the paths don't head the same direction.
I w It kind of is. If you'd drop someone so heartlessly cause they can't have a child then that means the relationship was never about the both of you. It's about what they could give you and you don't care about what they want. I'd like to imagine if I had to do it I'd be a reluctant thing to leave them. Not something I'd pursue callously and guilt free. How much do you love someone if you don't care when they're hurt, or hurt with them?
@@blackowl641 idk for me it's about what you love more, the idea of having a biological child or the idea of staying with that person. If you feel that you love and yearn for the first more, you owe it to them to be honest and let them find the love you can't give them. I don't think that's ever an easy decision to make
Viewing a transwoman as a dude from a biological standpoint is objectively accurate. And sexual attraction keying on biological sex was a driving force in the continued existence of sentient sexual species since long before there were humans. It's not phobia or bigotry. It's not even like a racial preference, because sexual instincts didn't evolve around "races" as such. It doesn't imply a sense that transwomen are lesser people with lesser rights, or that nobody should date them, simply to see them as male from a standpoint of one's own biological sexual instincts. Likewise with transmen. It would be like saying that just being gay or being straight in the first place and not being bi, apart from trans issues, was sexism or homophobia. That wouldn't be an honest representation of the nature of the preference for some people.
The idea that seeing a transwoman as a dude from a standpoint of sexual attraction is some kind of bigotry relates to the larger problem of an expectation that people will kind of blur their minds and accept as a rule of faith that transwomen are women in every sense that should matter to anyone (and similarly with men). It isn't objectively true. Biological sex affects some feminist issues differently from gender identity, they affect some sports issues differently, and they affect some people's sense of attraction differently.
@@el1337i but if your preference is "I don't want to date this person who has no physical differences to any other person of that gender just because they're trans" then that's transphobic.
If you like the woman you date If you are attracted to her physically and you like her character too and then when she says she is trans you suddenly „lose“ interest You are nothing but a clown with the smallest balls on earth haha People like that are no real men
@Fascism Man why do you have woman in quotations? (wild guess incoming) are you implying that a woman isn't a woman just because she doesn't have some cells?
Empathy is relating to someone personally, like you’ve had a similar experience and you relate. Sympathy is more of a detached understanding of someone’s feelings
It’s backwards. Empathy is caring about someone’s feelings or situation despite the fact that you’ve never gone through those struggles yourself while sympathy is caring due to your own personal experiences.
The article: My nonbinary friends are great, but they are having a hard time finding dates because apps like Tinder only allowed them to list their gender as man or woman. They're too feminine for the guys who want men and too masculine for the guys who want women. Blaire: So your friends want to GUILT TRIP straight men into having sex with them??
I have had a transwoman say that I was transphobic because I was not interested in being intimate with her. She threatened to tell everyone that we knew that I was transphobic if I wasn’t intimate with her. Well I explained that I had certain preference/attractions and I refused to be bullied into have sex with her and she went ahead and slandered me. That was so uncool.
The double standard is so glaring - they're allowed to have their identity, have it respected (and it should be), love and be attracted to who they want to be attracted to, but cis people or gay or whatever are not allowed to have our own preferences, choices, desires? Unbelievable. In the past, no gay man or woman would call a straight person homophobic because they don't want to date you.
I feel like a lot of this is assuming the best out of people. A lot of people are shitty and WOULD leave a cis woman for being infertile edit: you guys acts like the woman would not be just as distraught that she could not conceive children?? So leaving her for it would make her feel reeeal great
If a man really wants offspring and that has been his goal to be a biological father, how is that shallow and shitty? Breakups suck but, that has to be a personal choice.
@@JohnnygSawyer you can have a child other ways or adopt (i know adoption isn’t always right) like I’ve hear there’s a way with three biological parents for example. Also You can be in a relationship with someone and have a child with someone else if its agreed upon.
For the pregnancy thing: No, I probably would not break up with someone infertile if I was really in love with them, but it's also a lot harder to throw away an established relationship than it is to simply not start one to begin with.
I also think it makes a big difference, if the person you're dating knew that they're not able to have kids, when you started the relationship. In this case they should have told that to their partner, from the start, especially when their partner is open about wanting to have kid's. That's also recommendable if they just don't WANT to have kids. Just make everything clear at the start of a relationship and spare everyone involved the potential heartbreak. Because for many people having a family, the traditional way or not, is very important and even if they decide to stay in the relationship, they will be very unhappy and that will make you very unhappy and than everyone will be miserable.
Exactly, and to be honest I find it a bit offensive that this Samantha acts like it's superficial to not date women who can't give birth. Like what the heck, since when has it been superficial to want biological children of your own with your partner? You might as well say that every single preference you have for your partner is superficial.
Where did Samantha say that people should be legally required to justify it? All we're saying is that a lot of people who don't want it have bigoted reasons. It doesn't mean they don't have the right to have those reasons. It just means that the reasons can be based on bigotry
@@tomassmith1519 The whole point that is being argued is about people being asked to justify why they do not want to be with someone. This is not a criticism of Samantha or what she is saying.
I had a friend of 12 years who recently blocked me because of that. They asked me if I thought it was transphobic to not date trans people and I said that I wouldn't be comfortable dating someone who doesn't have a penis. So now they hate me and blocked me. So I am quite pleased to see that not every trans people would be hurt by my preferences. I don't want to hurt anyone
Their loss. That's like if you said you don't date black or Hispanic men then you're racist. I'm sure that one or two of those men you'd find attractive but over all if your preference is white men, that makes you human.
I'm sorry, but If a friend of 12 YEARS blocks and decides to "hate" me so quickly for a reason like that then there's a chance that they are definitely not a true or genuine friend anymore. That sounds very childish and like someone who's way too caught up in social media.
@@Chill.Blossom it happened to me on FB. A guy I went to bootcamp with turned trans and told me that if I wouldn't date a transwoman I'm transphobic. I said that I have a wife and child so no need and [s]he proceeds to ask me if I was single if I would date a transwoman I told him/her "no" because I want biological kids with the woman I have sex with and want that child to have a 50/50 DNA split between me and their mother. To him it meant that I'm a "bigot".
@@miguelbermudez5426I'm very sorry you had to deal with that. The "If you don't want to date a transwoman you're transphobic." comment literally sounds like insecurity and the fear people have of getting rejected. Folks will call you a "phobe" just to feel as if they were in the right, instead of genuinely focusing on themselves and realizing that they have deep-rooted insecurities. I believe that disrespecting people just because they want to settle and have their own biological family and kids is a No-Go. There's never anything wrong with getting into a serious relationship and wanting to settle. It seems like society doesn't seem to properly realize that these days.
@@Chill.Blossom I laughed honestly. [S]he even threw a jab at me saying that (A) I even hated American women because I married a Russian woman and (B) I was racist because I'm black and refused to marry a black woman. Mind you I'm 1/2 Puerto Rican and 1/2 Dominican so I have different colors in my family and cultures. It was based off of pure ignorance and the logic used made no sense. I like what I like and don't discriminate but it just so happened that I feel in love with a white girl from Russian whom I married and had a baby with.
Here's my opinion: No one is going to be attracted to everyone, even from their group preference. Not every straight girl is going to be attracted to all men. Not every gay guy is going to be attracted to all men. Not every binary person... you get my point. Not being attracted to an individual is completely okay. But invalidating a person's ability to be a loving partner based on them being trans? That is transphobic. P.s. people do leave their partners or refuse to date people based on infertility. Its a massive issue for people. I can't have kids and its ended a 3 year relationship. And prevent a few others from starting. People genuinely care that much about medical things because they feel like it becomes their burden too.
@ksts45Ⓐ tastes and preferences are super exclusionary! But what I should of made more clear was, let's say you meet a girl and she is exactly your type and you get along perfevt. Turns out, she is m2f but has had top and bottom surgery. So she is physically and emotionally your type. But you say no because she is trans. I would consider that transphobic. Because I think for most people it does come down to what is or isn't down there. And that's completely okay! If you're not attracted to a certain anatomy. You can't force it. But when the anatomy is no longer there... what's your excuse?
@ksts45Ⓐ yeah but I should be entitled to having a preference I should be able to have my OWN preference if I’m going to be with someone for the rest of my life
Well it is a burden. Anything that concerns the partner that bothers them, it's a burden. We have to respect that, because in a relationship, there's two, and if one is bothered, they have the right to leave at any time. As far as trans people getting rejected because they're trans, I don't think it's fair to assume one is transphobic. The definition does say a "dislike" towards trans persons. So if that's the case, then there's phobia when rejecting anybody. Lesbians are male phobic, homosexuals are female phobic, lots of people are fat phobic, but we never really use these terms now do we? It's best if we respect anybodys rejection, they're a single person, they choose who they wanna be with and their reasons if private should not be asked about. I just don't think it's right to be calling anybody transphobic, if they don't like transpeople period, that's their right and should not be shamed for it. It's not like ima shame a transgender woman for rejecting a lesbian, cus they don't like women, that's disrespectful and is way out of line for me, that's up to the person making the rejection and their personal choice alone.
Why people have to justify what they want to do in their emotional sphere? If I do not want to date a trans-woman I do not need any reason, emotions are subjective.
@@persassyjackson1688 I am sorry to say, but the entire objection you highline looks really pointless to me. To me it looks like you are clearly trying to overexplain a simple situation to throw in the conversation the word transphobia. At this point it would be enough for me to answer you that IT IS MY BODY that is on the line then it is MY CHOICE and really the discussion should simply end there becuase it is what it is. You see if someone asks me out I am free to say no if I do not feel like nor if I do not want to and noone should try to shame anyone for their free choice. Did I answer your question or there is really the need to overexplain even more? KR, Maurizio
@@persassyjackson1688 do you agree that the subject discussed in the video belongs to everyone's personal emotional sphere? I will assume a YES in order to continue the thread, because if you answer NO we would be in a type of disagreement which would require a different type of conversation. When I, as person, approach another person I do it because I like the person (for wathever reason). When I, as a person, get asked out by another person I will say yes or no for multiple possible reasons. Either way I base my choice on feelings/decisions that I chose to follow, I could even base my decisions on more rational evaluations, but this would not change the substance of the matter. The real question here is: is a person free to choose/feel what it wants when it comes to chose with who to have emotional interaction? For me the answer is a solid YES. P.S this specific topic restricted to this specific domain is, in reality, very simple. If you would like to have a more complex exchange we could find the way to have a conversation, because I think that talking would be a little easier.
@@persassyjackson1688 Concerning the all list of cases you have made I think that there is a foundamental flow. If we start to introduce the concept that saying no to going out with a group of people only based a single charateristic is phobic we open the door to a all new chategory of phobias... and I think we should, as a society, not open the door to this to happen -> example a particular individual DOES NOT discriminate a particular trans individual at work nor in any other aspects of social life, but then the trans person asks out this individual and gets refused to go on a date only based on the fact that the person is a trans person (you seem very articulate so you very well know that in reality there are multiple reasons, but for this example we will state that the Trans attribute is the predominant decision factor). For me the individual that refused cannot and should not be accused of transphobia. Do you see the issue in saying the countrary? I think that people and society in general has to accept that when it comes to dating and to the emotional/romantic sphere people HAVE TO BE ABLE TO REMAIN FREE to chose on whatever they see fit without any attempt of being shames. And to be clear: what do you think that a video with a title like that does if not try to push shame? It looks interseting to discuss with you, but I really prefer to discuss these topics not in writing, because I have to really force myself to try to articulate my thougts in writing (my original comment was etremely short). Cheers, Maurizio
gurl ur so pretty! Can I borrow ur face 🥺❤ Also thank you for sticking up for non-binary people. Blaire does this whole "If they aren't like me, they're doing it wrong" kinda thing. I find that a lot of her content isn't as nutritious and academically stimulating as it is merely her ranting about people she doesn't personally like... Thats just my opinion tho uwu
@@hadley20 xenophobic. I have never heard of that term. but if it has something to do with xenomorphs, there's reason to afraid XD. (It's a joke, please don't get mad. I seriously have never heard that term before)
@@mikkogeneration Btw Xenophobia literally refers to an irrational fear/hatred of aliens. It usually refers to foreigners but it could also be used for gatekeeping. The Xeno bit means alien, which is why it sounds like Xenomorph.
honestly if someone didn't tell me they were male and switched to female i would still assume that to be lying and break up with them , you should ALWAYS disclose that info straight away
So by that logic, since I have high-functioning autism but pass as being neurotypical, and since I know that a lot of people aren't into people with disabilities, would say that it's immoral for me not to tell a partner about that?
@@technoloverish you dont have to but you cant blame the person for leaving later on if they found out what sex you were born, thats all on you, if you were together for lets say 10 years and they found out some people will legit leave straight up so cant be mad at them though that was on you
@@technoloverish you dont have to tell them right away but maybe within the first few dates. If someone one want a long term relatonship with you and or wants kids that can pose problems so its better to tell them sooner. Living with someone with autism can have a lot of changes depending on who they are and what their prefrences are for example i hear some people with autism dont like it when people touch their stuff this can pose problems in a relationship where you live together. Not only this but when having kids a parent with autism is more likely to have a kid with autism these chances increase i think when the person has adhd?? But raising kids with autism can be challenging because all kids with autism have a different way of functioning and what works for them might not work for a different person with autism. Now all kids work differently thats true but i do think there is just a basis for what works and what dosent in parenting because most are devolping similar. I think this makes it more challenging to raise someone with autism also because you dont know where they will be on the spectrum. If they will need assistance in there adult life and how much youll have to help them.
@@StarryIcecream Yeah, I mean, I think when people are wanting something longterm with someone else, they definitely should share such personal details without first getting to know the other person, but I do think it's best to make each other aware of those things before anything get super serious for the reasons you describes. Plus, isn't a person kinda wasting their time if the person they're with isn't someone who will accept them for who they are?
@@technoloverish I'm bipolar and tell people right up front, first or second date, including my suicidal past. They should know. Better to tell them then, because if they're not cool they'll just jump ship and I'd rather not go through that whole sitch. People are allowed to have their preferences. It's totally wrong to pressure someone to be attracted to someone they're not. And it isn't an "ism" if you aren't legit physically attracted to a certain type of person. Fetishism is one thing, sure, but preferences, that's just natural.
@@rexyz5875 Cause they don't really mean that. It would be outright rapey if they said you have to date trans, so they frame it in another way......yes you can have your preference, but if you don't.....you are something phobic. No mean no, my body my choice, its as simple as that, but some ppl can't accept that, so they attempt to shame you
@@jammadan exactly, they will say not wanting a date a trans person isn’t trans phobic but then say if you don’t want date a person simply because they are trans and that reason alone you are trans phobic.
But if Trans women are really women, then straight men should be attracted to them isn't that what a straight man means? a man who is attracted to women? if straight people are not attracted at all to all trans women then either they are either bigoted or maybe trans women aren't really women
@@deecrews8762 but they are women, so why aren't you attracted to them? not even a single one? doesn't a straight man mean attracted to females? aren't trans women female??
@@MZONE991 They are not something I'm attracted to. Never have been and never will be. No amount of guilting and shaming will ever change that. Accept it and move on. No means no. Aren't trans people part of the LGBTQ community? Didn't the gays and lesbians spend years fighting to get people to understand that attraction IS NOT A CHOICE? You cannot CHOOSE to be attracted to someone simply because that person just happens to have the wrong sex or gender or whatever the hell it's being called this week. No means no and attraction is not a choice and is not up for negotiation. Even the LGBTQ community agrees with that. Why can't you?
In the dating world, no one is entitled to a relationship, and people get to have whatever preference they want. Doesnt matter if they don't date a whole race, trans people, cis people, etc. It is important to understand where those preferences come from, but just because they may be shallow, doesn't mean they are invalid. And it doesn't matter what struggles you go through, you don't get to tell people who they can and can't date. Not being friends with someone because of their race, gender, etc IS racist/transphobic,... but not dating them isnt always.
Exactly. I wouldn't have a problem to date a trans person but I am not into black men. But in todays day and age I am not allowed to say that or I am a racist. Even tho I am far from a racist. I just prefer guys with blue eyes blonde hair.
The problem comes when you rule out a whole group of people for a collection of traits that aren’t always shared by everyone in that group. You don’t have to be attracted to everyone, and no one is saying that, but saying “I’m not into black guys,” when there are plenty of light-skinned black guys with blonde hair, etc. that would challenge your aesthetic preferences makes your statement discriminatory solely based on race, which is racist. You also should be mindful of the fact that your aesthetic preferences have been largely influenced by growing up in a racist, sexist, transphobic society. It doesn’t mean you have to change, but you should be able to accept that your subconscious preferences may be influenced by racism, transphobia, etc. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but it is worth exploring why you feel the ways you do, and maybe you could weigh those reasons against your own morals and decide to be a little more open-minded in the process. You’re attracted to who you’re attracted to, but who you’re attracted to definitely changes over time and with new experiences, and ruling people out limits your own growth, which in the end hurts you more than anyone else.
@@BTDubbz I don’t think it does. You’re assuming that I’m saying I don’t date black guys simply because I’m not attracted to the race but maybe I want someone that shares my culture and history? Then when I say I don’t date black guys, no matter if they have blonde hair my opinion will not be swayed.
@Veruna yes I only date people that share the same background as me. That’s not ruling out a group based on their physical traits but because that’s what I’m comfortable with. And it should be valid to say that without people attacking your choice
@@BTDubbz then can you say that homosexuality is ruling out a lot of people who don't conform to gender stereotypes? I should be able to tell a gay man "it's discriminatory that you claim to be gay because there's a lot of women who are very, very masculine and you are not considering them?"
It makes me sad to see LGBTQ+ people who internalise homophobia, transphobia or any other system of prejudice like Blair. I really hope she can get out of that hurtful mindset :/
LGBT is not a monolith and people can have greatly varying beliefs. Just because Blair and you have two different ideals, doesn't mean Blair has internalise hate. There was this Nun I was friends with before moving, she would rag on all the other Christian faiths.
@@simonwinn8757 Beliefs is not the same as homophobia, transphobia or racism. These things are taught and they fester even in LGBTQ+ people. I've worked on myself a lot since I came out because all I knew at the time were these things. The way Blair fights against Trans people is not belief, it's a way for her to feel like she is protected against transphobes' prejudice, but as soon as she's not gonna be useful, she will be treated as badly as anyone else. It's a dangerous cycle that needs to be broken, and we can only hope she leaves her bigoted ways of self-preservation. Humans are stronger together and the way she fights against her own interests is just not helpful at all.
Actually I kinda disagree with the whole “biological children” point. I think that if someone wants biological kids it’s better to be honest with anyone they are dating, and shouldn’t feel pressured to just say they’ll figure it out. Yes it would really suck to be told someone doesn’t want to date you because you can’t have kids, but it’s not the other persons responsibility to just go along with the relationship if they know for a fact they want biological kids.
Yessss! For me, having kids and experiencing pregnancy is the only thing I’ve always known I wanted in life. It’s the only thing I was sure of so it’s important to me. For some people it just means a lot to be able to do that. As long as you aren’t mean to the other person about it then it’s fine
@@noway5469 She was clearly judging the two people in the article off of their looks. She even misgendered them BECAUSE THEY HAVE BODY HAIR. She DOES NOT know what their personality is like and shouldn't judge them just off of looks. Just disgusting.
I think she meant that if you really want to get with a straight guy, you better be putting in the effort to actually be attractive to a straight guy. The simple fact of the matter is that a straight guy would rather take an attractive girl over the trans people that Blaire was talking about. She never called them ugly. In my opinion they look fine but they are no supermodels. If I was in their shoes I would get hair removal, but maybe they like their hair. A lot of straight guys don't like body hair. I really hope their transitions bring them the fruits of their efforts though.
@@iamopinionatedoops3196 have you seen some of her videos...? She makes fun and sometimes even misgenders people who she doesn’t think passes. And there are more than two genders, if you’re alluding to not believing as such.
@@nixpixl442 Idk why people are misunderstanding your comment. It's really clear from Blaire's history that anyone who doesn't pass or fit in the box she has decided is "trans enough" is essentially "free real estate" in her mind for mockery.
@@justnana133 there was this whole thing with the Genderettes a while back trying to tell people (cis lesbians specifically) that if they didnt have sex with pre-op trans women they're transphobic
Some interesting points you made there, but honestly I’d have to strongly disagree. If someone doesn’t feel comfortable dating a trans woman, whether it’s genitals, wanting children, or they’re uncomfortable with the fact that the person in question wasn’t born a female, that is their preference, and there is nothing wrong with that. And since trans people are so concerned about their safety, they should be open and honest that they’re trans so that the guy you’re seeing isn’t led on to something or that he knows what he signed up for. If someone doesn’t want to date you cause you’re trans, move on and find someone who’s willing to date a trans person. Simple as that.
Exactly. But my sexuality isn't a preference. I'm a straight woman. I'm into men. I'm not into men who present as women, and I'm not into women who present as men. None of this was even a discussion before gender became such a popular thing.
@@billiemunchen Also what if you just dont want to deal with telling friends and family that the person who you are with is trans. I think when it comes to dating, you can discriminate based on anything, but dont be a jerk with someone else.
@@anastasiarose1430 Lmao clearly you haven't seen the comments and the person in the vid talking about "iF yOu lIkE uS bEfOre yOu kNew, yOu shOuld lIke Us aFtEr." Trying to label people transphobic for simply not wanting to date trans people is absurd. People are allowed to have PREFERENCES. Do you think gay men have to date straight women or else that's sexist? Tf? 💀💀
@@mistynights2834 Dude, her point is about people rejecting trans people they were attracted to because they're don't believe they are valid, that is just transphobia no matter how you spin it. She says genital preference is fine, wanting to have biological children with your partner is fine, rejecting someone who lied to you is fine. Her point is literally "If you refuse to date a trans person because of your transphobic opinions you're transphobic otherwise its fine", people seriously need to brush up on their basic comprehension skills Jesus fucking Christ
To answer you question about cis people that can’t have kids... I was talking to a guy (cis) for a couple of days. He had this condition that lowered his testosterone so he had a slew of symptoms. One of the many being that he was sterile. I didn’t tell him that was the reason... but I had to let him go. Starting a biological family is something that’s important to me. And I knew if I ignored this I’d only come to despise him later.
@Speaking Truth Thanks, when someone is looking forward to that their whole lives, they don’t just want to give it up easily. And the thing that gets me is in another video she said she gets annoyed when people say “she’s lucky cause she doesn’t get periods” because she stated she would give anything to create her own offspring. And in this video she makes it seem weird that some people want the same thing. :/ I still love her but that threw me off.
@@penetrasean I mean if they had no idea and that surprised us both after years that’d be one thing. But if you’re trans thats obviously not the case because you’d know from the start. It’s a false equivalency.
As a gay men and being abandoned at birth, I can't relate a single bit to people valuing fertility so much. I'm so accustomed to the idea that I will have to adopt, and that love have nothing to do with bloodline (plus the overpopulation issue), that it will always sound shallow to me. I objectively know it not, and I'll never make someone feel bad about it, but I'm also entitled to find it not understandable, because I don't know what kinship feels like just like others don't know the lack of kinship.
@@paulclousier3856 In my opinion it’s only shallow if you think that a “traditional family” is the only valid one. Adoption and surrogacy are equally valid ways to bring children into your family. My preference is just the natural way, my maternal instinct has been kicking my ass lately lol. I understand where you’re coming from, but the “if you want to have your own kids you’re shallow” mentality needs to go. 😭 it’s rude for no reason
@@LoveMiaStuff but if you're ready to leave someone because they can't give you a "traditionnal family", I don't see how you value adoption as much as giving birth (maybe you mean valuing the ability to chose between the two?) . I don't think you are shallow for wanting biological children, but I think ending relationship for it, trying desperately to use medical treatments (my adoptive parents had multiple in-vitro atemps before adopting me) etc is shallow. Again I don't have this "instinct", I don't know it feels so that's why my opinion on birth giving doesn't really matter, but if everybody was thinking like this, I wouldnt even have a family, so it's not just about me (or us if I assume Samantha think the same) being rude.
It IS transphobic if the only issue is that the person is transgender. What often happens is that straight cisgender guys will approach transgender women who they are attracted to and then get disgusted when they find out the person isn't transgender.
@@technoloverish * Sigh *.... Here we go... Because...Yes, straight guys are attracted to BIOLOGICAL women. When we find out that they are Trans, it kind of, YA KNOW...Is alarming and would freak out any guy, who is straight, finding out that they slept with someone, who was originally a guy. Sorry, if that's the case, Transwomen need to work on their self-esteem and self-confidence before dating if they get insulted by men not wanting to date them.
I totally support you, i have gay friends and i dont what them to feel that i am agains lgbt just because i think the stuff she was saying is crazy. She acts the victim because the guys did not wanted to be with her after they find out she was trans. I think thats is very dishonest.
@@rei1sba315 that example is so invalid, because that happens all the time, if you are going to create a separation for women, as you wrote: "certain kinds of women" (by the way, I am very offended by this, because women are women, there is no types of women), I'm going to give you the example of a women with curly hair vs. straight hair, some guys only date women with their specific taste in hair; If they like curly girls, they will only date curly girls, do you understand why what you are saying is not applicable to transphobia?
I'm gonna turn this around: Why don't trans people date trans people? Doesn't that make them trans-phobic or self-hating trans??? ;) Also, to clarify something VERY IMPORTANT: No means no. It doesn't mean you're transphobic, homophobic, racist, Anti-Semite, Islamophobic, able-ist or anything else. It means NO. No means NO!
@@d3f_b4by79 I think we can respect trans people by just saying “no” if they want to date us (heteros). BUT! It’s not fair that trans want to make people think like them by saying “if you don’t date me just because Im a trans then you are automatically a transphobe or homophobe”. If an hetero thinks that a trans is basically someone in disguise then we should respect his opinion instead of demonizing him. NOW! I believe that we (heteros) should respect trans by referring them as the gender they identify with or kindly rejecting them by just saying “no” instead of “I don’t date trans”.
@@bitchimdoja4320 forgive me if I'm wrong but the only "blackface" I see that could be misconstrued is when she wore a black face treatment mask. When did she actually DO blackface?
not telling someone your trans is wrong. you technically didn’t lie but it’s still wrong. it’s just like when a married person gets into a relationship with someone else and doesn’t tell that person they are married already with kids. when that person finds out they are gonna be pissed.. u didn’t lie to me but you always didn’t tell me what i’m dealing with and that’s wrong
Agreed, if they lied to me and we dated for a long time and I found out with out them telling me I'm ending the relationship with them due to them not telling me cause how can I trust you?
@@elliotpoco7539 Uh actually,a lot of trans people don't even "look trans" or whatever- Like legit,there are some trans creators that I watched for a bit and didn't even think they were trans. And if your'e actively looking for certain features that could possibly make them trans,then that's kinda weird my guy :/
@@s.k.5747 that doesn't really make sense? Hetero people are just as likely to cheat on their partner as bi people if that's what you meant. I don't really understand your comment. Also, u don't need to put speech quotations on bi. Idk if u were actually being biphobic but it comes across as if u don't think we exist.
@Thank U, Next Yeah aha I'm bi and dating a trans boy! He didn't come out until after we started dating, but yeah it didn't change at all. (I'm female)
Tbh if my lover came out to me as trans i’d be shocked but like..a day or two later i’d give zero fucks,i still love them,plus im omni so its not strange to me lol
@@inmyflopera729 its all cosmetic, its pretend. You can take your sexual organ, chop it up, flip it inside out, and call it a vagina. But youll never get a period, have a baby, get cervical cancer, have a cramp, have vaginal discharge, release an egg, etc.
@@cmill4080 I don't see why you would care that much about periods, eggs or about cervical cancer?..... If you're not trying for a biological kid, those things don't matter. You're kind of rubbing me the wrong way rn. What're you trying to say?
No means no, it doesn't really matter why someone says no. Theres lots of fish in the sea and you just need to find someone who says yes to you. Having sex/physical touch/a relationship with someone who is uncomfortable or not fully consenting is really really not ok.
I honestly feel so cheated and annoyed with myself I use to watch Balir I agreed with some of her views how she presented it seems so logical and well articulated but I just slowly realized she was just putting down her community and putting herself on a pedestal like I'm not your typical trans girl. Listening to you explain well sometimes it can be transphobic honestly rings more true than saying ofc it's not transphobic.
This is exactly how I feel. I would just coble up her content, just blindly trusting. Now knowing how much of the articles she leaves out of her videos... I feel bad for watching someone so painfully biased
@@shellyg824 ikr she really has some issues I can't believe the language she used as well speaking as I'd tgey Arnett human and hurting her identity. Theybare just people what is the issue
@Brett Wagland yes. She gets irritated with transtrenders, which obviously includes 'non binaries' because for them no effort has to be made. They just say 'Oh I'm nb, ' or 'Oh I'm trans.' Thats it. No hormones, no attempt to integrate as the tatget gender, nothing. It's a meaningless statement. Someone with real gender dysphoria, who has had to face the challenges that Blaire has, is unlikely to be sympathetic to someone for whom 'being trans' is just a matter of saying so, because it's fashionable. As am I.
Nah she just doesn’t need to. Her audience by and large listens to whatever she says and applauds her regardless of the fact that she’s lying through her teeth. They aren’t interested in a factual account of trans issues. They’re interested in having their own ignorant thoughts blasted back at them. She’s giving her audience what they want.
@Heksje Lilly No one should be pressured into explaining why they wouldn’t want to to peruse a relationship with someone regardless of their reasoning or beliefs. If they happen to get hurt by the rejection they need to deal with those feelings themselves 🤷🏽♀️
Yea its just like, you like things and dislike other things and thats mostly uniqeu for everyone, the end. And if you dont want to date a trans becaus you read on the internet that trans peaple are no good or something. Then you're just dumb and dont think for yourself, right?
for whatever reason if a person terminates a relationship, or not even initiate it, can do so without being labeled as whatever-phobic. Dating is personal businesses, not a civil encounter. Liking certain aspects doesn’t mean hatred for other aspects
Legally, you're correct. Nobody can be forced into a relationship with people. We're talking about ethics here though, not legality. The fact is, a person can turn a person down for a bigoted reason, regardless of whether they have a right to do so or no.
@@technoloverish that’s your assumption as to why one person is turning down the other. You don’t know the exact reason. There are plenty of reasons for a person to turn down someone. It could be any of those 100s of reasons.
@@user-mi8xf8tq1z Yes, though the point here is that lot of people who turn down transgender woman do it because they think transgender women are faking their gender. That's when it becomes bigoted. Did you watch the full video?
@@technoloverish dating is a personal preference. Your sexuality is something that you are born with. So why would you want to force someone else? For example, a heterosexual man, will always be attracted to a woman. Most than 80 % of trans women won’t get bottom surgery due to the complications involved. So why would a heterosexual man date them? Gay men, sure. Similarly if a woman is lesbian, then she will never be attracted to a trans woman, who hasn’t had bottom surgery. It’s just sexual preference. Simple.
@@user-mi8xf8tq1z Yes, that's a genital preference. Samantha mentioned that in this video. If person just isn't into certain genitals, nothing is wrong with that
Yeah, but that's because you literally have no attraction to people who present as your gender. When we talk about being transphobic, we're not talking about people who are naturally not attracted to people who happen to be transgender. We're talking about people who ARE attracted to people who happen to be transgender but then claim not to be attracted once they know the person is transgender. In that situation, the only thing stopping them from being with the person is the fact that they're transgender, not that they don't have any attraction to the person.
@@samuelvillaflor5613 I'm not talking about men who want to be women. I'm talking about women who are transgender. Transgender women are women and the medical consensus is that trans people are valid. I'm guessing you like in a religious country or something, since you seem not to be aware of the existence of transgender people.
H Fan, I’ve listened to you babble throughout these threads. Let’s close this down already… Hetero Males are sexually attracted to FEMALES! Trans Women are not FEMALES, so if a Straight male finds out the woman he’s dating is not a FEMALE, it’s not transphobic to him no longer be attracted to her. Period.
When you were talking about being able to have biological kids possibly being a valid reason and how they would treat a cis-gender in a similar situation, it’s crazy because it’s something as a cis gendered woman I’ve struggled with. I might not be able to have kids due to a disorder I have (PCOS) and it’s caused potential relationships not to work. Which I mean, totally fine with me because they weren’t worth my time. So I guess it’s probably not transphobic? People just have different priorities.
I'd have to watch the video again but I'm pretty sure she revisited that and basically said: Definitely not trans phobic just basically a shit person in general.
I agree with you on a certain level. However, I don't agree that you face the same level of harm as transwomen. Although you have a disfunction, ciswomen aren't expected to tell the men that they date that they aren't able to pursue biological children in the first date. But for transwomen, even in the same obvious situation, they are expected to disclose them being trans in the first date because however people claim that it's only about wanting biological children, we all know that there is inherent transphobia involved as well.
@3:00. No, you should tell them. It’s reasonable for people to assume you’re a cis woman. You wouldn’t want a married man portraying himself as single and saying “hey, you never asked” after he sleeps with you 🤦🏽
@@lleah2839 you can’t be serious. imagine if someone went on a date(s) with samantha for her only to find out later that he’s gay and only dates dudes. she’d probably be upset. saves the both of you some time.
It's not shallow by itself, but it's shallow if you think they must be your biological children, and that you can't have them through surrogacy or anything like that.
@@technoloverish Wtf, if I want my children to look like and resemble me and the person I love, that's not shallow. That's important for some people and you have to respect that, do better please!
I'm heterosexual, yet I don't find any problem with being attracted to a trans woman. Aside from anything, attraction is about two souls coming together ❤
I absolutely support trans women/men but seeing a man's body part makes me uncomfortable. If it's considered transphobic i'd suck it up in the future but i'd never be able to be in a sexual relationship
Nah. Genital preferences are valid and only the really deep reaching activists are trying to abolish this. You don't owe anyone a sex or relationship or vice versa as well, you can support people you don't plan to date. It's when people go deep specifically to make digs at 'reality' of trans men/women being 'not real' when things definitely take a turn, in my opinion. Also... Suck it up? Was that pun intended. 🤣
Straight up I'm going to scream *NO*. Personal preferences are exactly that - nothing to do with outright discrimination. Heck, where could it end, if I buy a bottle of coke, a pepsi vendor screams discrimination?? If someone doesn't want to date ME, am I being "discriminated" against??
@@Danielle.H There is a BIG difference between 'discrimination' (you can't do this job because you're a woman / black / gay etc nonsense - which USED TO be a *big* issue (and STILL IS an issue sometimes)), and starting to push extremes on people (which is only going to HURT "us" in the long run). Samantha should be able to work, shop, whatever - WITHOUT DISCRIMINATION. As should I, and you, and everyone else. (Sadly, I don't think the world is quite there yet). But to push the narrative "if you don't date me you're DISCRIMINATING" against Trans is just ludicrous, and ultimately damaging to our cause. Bloody hell, if I don't hook up with the Taliban am I going to be accused of "discrimination" against terrorists?? If I don't actively participate in some religious cult am I discriminating against them? Sorry, but I think pushing this line is going too far - it's not about equality, but ego - e.g. if you're not my friend doing my bidding you're a biggot. NO.
"If you're attracted before you know, you should be attracted to us after you know." I disagree depending on the situation. Someone can be attracted to me before knowing I've still got the genitals I was born with. If genitals are a big deal for them, this can mean they're no longer be attracted to me to the point where they want to have sex with me or want to date me. It doesn't quite fit what you say in the beginning of your video when it comes to genitals. I guess you mean this from the point of view where someone would be judgemental (in which case I agree); but genital attraction is a big deal for some people. Someone can not have a problem with a trans woman being a trans woman yet still have no interest in sleeping with her upon finding out that she is a transgender woman who still happens to have her penis because they're simply not into that. And even if someone has had their bottom surgery, some people still wouldn't date trans people because it doesn't quite function like cis genitals. Trans women don't get wet themselves (as far as I'm concerned) and trans men we don't get hard automatically and we don't ejaculate. For someone people that's important to their sex life and depending on how important they may not settle for someone who can't provide that (just like how a man who absolutely loves big boobs might not want to date a girl with smaller boobs). There are a lot of trans people online saying that people are transphobic for not wanting to date them no matter what the reason is, I'm guessing this is what Blaire means. I personally wonder why those people are so obsessed with it. If someone doesn't want to date me because they consider me a woman; I wouldn't want to date them anyway. Neither do I wanna date someone who isn't attracted to me or uncomfortable with my genitals. There's someone out there for everyone and although I can totally understand the worry of dating as a transperson (I've been there); there are so many people out there who don't care and will accept you and love you for who you are that those who don't for no matter the reason don't really matter anyway (even if the experiences you have with them suck).
Its shocking really, because as humans in relationships, we change how we feel about things all the time once the facts change. I've once been close to a person who i was attracted to and I even knew the person was trans, but then I found out some other personal information about our differences in how to get intimate and what is considered intimate(best way to describe they had some weird kinks) i stopped wanting to see this person. Am I in the wrong because I liked them before I knew this so I should still like them now? The interesting part to me is when it comes to genital attractions, its almost like people forget how vicious the arguments on Cut vs Uncut are or what a woman's curves look like or heck, how she looks once she spreads it open. I've heard plenty of people say they wouldn't date someone who's uncut or a girl who doesn't shave or if her privates aren't playboy worthy. I'm guilty of not being all that attracted to post op genitals, but I also have only ever seen pictures online and have only dated pre op people. I too see the large amounts of people who advocate for cis or straight people to be more inclusive of trans and non binary. But at the same time talk about how they hate straight cis people. I personally don't know what my sexuality is called anymore. I used to be Bi cause men and woman, then I was called Pansexual because I liked trans people aswell. But now I've been told its transphobic to use Pan nowadays. I also grew up a tomboy, but now Ive been told I'm a phobic for using that and its called nonbinary.. Its easy to believe a group of people wouldn't want to date another group when people who are actually interested or even apart of it get confused and mixed signals everyday
@@armanfrold2559 There’s a lot of reasons you may not want to be with someone. I could find out someone has a kid on the second date and call it quits; I’m 22 and not up for that. Trans is just another factor in that and unless it comes from a truly transphobic or severely uneducated place; it’s not transphobic to not want to date a trans person.
There's a difference between having an attraction and having a relationship. She stated in the video that she understands having a genital preference, so I feel like she was still applying that to the "If you're attracted before you know, you should be attracted to us after you know." statement. It's understandable to not want to be with someone because of a genital preference, but that shouldn't change the fact you are physically and/or emotionally attracted to someone. At least that's how I saw it.
@@Izzy_jam Potentially. It kinda just depends on how off-putting certain genitals are for someone. I was mainly talking psychically. It's just an odd thing; I can think your face is attractive but not deem your body attractive. I could deem everything but your genitals attractive. But in the general sense, when you say you're attracted to someone sexually, it equals being open to sleeping with them. So in that sense, I can understand someone saying "I'm no longer attracted to you" after finding out about genitals. For some people, it's a whole picture kind of thing and knowing there's something in someones pants that they consider incredibly unattractive could potentially take away the entire attraction. It's of course a whole different story if someone is suddenly no longer attracted to a transperson because they're 'disgusted' due to transphobic views etc. I think that was what Samantha was talking about.
@@armanfrold2559 Yeah I couldn't keep up with the constant changing and new labels and crap, I gave up and just stick with what I think I know with what I've read seen and heard and know I've been called plenty of things because of it. You literally have to dedicate time to figure it out and even then it's full of contradictions. The article even mentions they added 37 gender options to the app. What? It's insane to expect the average person to understand that. At this point I don't think I could date someone who was part of the LGBTQ+ and heavily involved, simply because I wouldn't be able to keep up with everything, I wouldn't fit the culture.
I ended up in this discussion on Facebook a couple of days ago and made the argument about genital preferences and was pretty much attacked for just the suggestion it could be an issue. You can definitely be attracted to a trans person but if what's down below isn't your thing then that's a perfectly valid reason.
Especially since the same argument also stands with trans people themselves: unless they’re bi or pan, they also wouldn’t want to date someone whose genitalia they aren’t into.
thank you for this. been attacked as a lesbian for not wanting to date a trans woman bc of genital preference. i've gotten rape threats, death threats, etc. and it's insane.
I agree with almost everything you say, except for calling it shallow for not dating someone because you can't have kids with them. There are other ways to make it happen, yes, but they're often far more expensive, a lengthy process, and just plain not for everyone. I don't think its shallow, even if it may not be a reason why I personally would leave someone. Also- I'm a cisgender woman and I know I'm going to have fertility issues because of my health. I say that early on in the relationship and if someone didn't want to be with me because of it, I'd understand. So I guess I think its a valid reason to not date someone, but a poor reason to leave someone you've committed to.
that was a weird thing to say. some pople really want children. Personally I wouldn't like it if I was dating someone who couldn't have children and they didn't disclose that early on
@@Line... it would feel like a betrayal, for sure, but if you can get past that, and I know that's a big IF, there are options. I'd like to think that I would explore those options, but like OP said, they are expensive and lengthy. In reality, I don't know if I would have the fortitude to endure such lengthy processes
@@Line... It is YOUR responsibility to disclose that you want children, not the other way around. How would you feel if someone didn't want to date you or left you for something out of your control? Pretty sure most of you would vilify them in that case. It is in your control to make that choice and you are privileged to be able to have that opinion. Expecting people to disclose their health status that isn't potentially harmful to you is ableist at best. Plus, it's not like everyone knows they can't have kids. It's incredibly selfish.
this whole comment section is simping for samantha and i'm no different the lip and the scrunchie colour matching is such a LOOK and i don't know much about make-up stuff but the nude?? brown??? palette really works so well on her i'm in awe (also would love it if blaire white could learn to apply critical thought)
And if she could learn to apply makeup. For someone so critical of how other trans women and femmes look her makeup is no match for Samantha Lux’s skills
Then there are more cis than trans people though. if you do this reasoning then shouldn't you tell others to date with if you disagree with this logic? you are very inconsistent. because if you think that cis people have to date with whoever they want then why can't a cis person be interested in a trans person? there are some cis men or women who date trans people though. with the speech you make you do nothing but stigmatize trans people being a minority.
Love is beautiful that it is cis, trans. there some trans people dating other trans people. your reasoning ,only makes trans people even more stigmatized or excluded regardless.then trans people they are 1 % of the population
@@amelyakoler8934 That's copout and you know it. They have trans spaces that trans people like to hang out in, they go to pride events every year, they chat online, they tend to have copious amounts of trans people as friends when most people worldwide have never even met a single trans person, so why won't those trans people date the other trans people in their inner circles?
My mum broke up with her ex of 6 years because he didn’t want kids hence she got with my dad and boom me. Kids are a big part of looking for a serious relationship it is in human DNA to reproduce and extend the species.
Agreed. The point she is making though is how denying attraction towards transgender people is transphobic. Dating and attraction are both separate with the former being a more complicated thing. Dating comes with choices so the thought of a preference isn't transphobic in nature. It's okay to exclude transgender people from one's dating pool when one prioritizes having biological children.
@Shafique XO Plenty of couples without kids are also a natural relationship and often kids don't help their parents stay together. Not every couple wants kids and that's ok.
@Shafique XO I'm not sure if you know this or not or if you're just ignorant, having kids isn't what everybody wants and there's nothing wrong with that however you seem to have a problem accepting that it's also natural for couples/people to be childfree.
finally someone agrees. we call people transphobic for not dating trans people, does that make gay men mysoginistic? does that make lesbians anti-man? like dude
Will you be surprised when you are accepted ? Just curious... one thing you can count on, is there are many spaces here on the web that will fully embrace you, if you ever do come out. In fact, they will celebrate with you the triumph of being authentically you. I hope you feel safe and ready one day to come out... And I hope you have a community you feel well support you 100% !!! You're valid af.
@@ebogar42, stop. Please. Ask this question to someone who is out and willing to go toe to toe. I know what you're about to try and do. It's wrong. It's harmful. Not constructive. Want to ask that question to someone? Ask me. I'm a trans man. I'm open about it. And I love a good debate. Go to my channel and ask me there, if you want. I will answer honestly and listen to your responses, so long as you do not resort to abusive language or tactics.
@@ebogar42 I don’t expect you to respond, but that’s okay. This is as much for my own edification. You can do a lot of harm by mocking people’s identity. I used to be close minded, too. You can grow out of that. The way that I know “I’m” trans is dysphoria (For simplicity, I’ll ignore the dissociation I have with these feelings in this discussion and assume that I don’t have multiple personalities). I’m fine with questions. I’ve been questioning myself over and over for a few years now, trying to figure out what is going on in my head. I do use social constructs to determine where I line up on gender. I felt wrong being a guy for most of my life, but I didn’t have the vocabulary to understand it until recently. It’s certainly possible I’m wrong about being trans. That’s why I’ve been debating this in my mind for three years. It’s not something I take lightly. Is there anything you would like me to expound on more?
For the point that you want biological children and that you won't quit girlfriend if you were with already with here, I think that there is a big difference between the two cases because if you're already with her, you're already love her but if not, it's understable that you don't want to emotionnaly attach you with her if you already know she can't have biological children. Good video and topic ! (sorry if I made english mistakes, I'm not)
Yes! That’s the thing, they are just not up for dating a trans person because they don’t want to deal with the issue that they are guaranteed to deal with when it comes to kids.
It kinda baffles me that she doesn't realize it's also for her own safety. Some guys can appear to be nice while actually being raging transphobes, and they could get violent if they find out she is trans after they slept together.
@@taytmw18 I agree. But that shouldn't be a green light to be deceiving. Even if it is just for a hook-up...that is very messed up in my opinion -- let alone potentially dangerous.
@@chloe-qs7ue because she doesnt kiss just anyone's ass and just runs with the latest trend nor does she try to be relevant all time. Sure she can be in the wrong sometimes ,but who isnt?She calls out the bs that others are too afraid to do or are blind to. I respect her for at least doing that. I love samantha as well. Both girls bring some good points on different things.
Just a quick note: Blaire has said that she sometimes messes up people's pronouns accidentally. In her video about Demi Lovato she said she knew she was going to mess up so she referred to Demi as Demi instead of using pronouns. Sometimes people slip up and use the wrong pronouns, I don't think she meant to mis gender them. Not trying to hate, just pointing that out.
Same My gay friend suddenly dmed me asking if not dating a transmale is transphobic, specifically thos who didnt undergo bottom surgery (he prefers male genetalia) I ddnt really know what to say because Im just a bi cis girl but god, this video cleared up so much
I would say that i do have a genital preference (anyone with genitals associated with the male sex/amab people) but i wouldn't mind sexually pleasing someone else and i have been attracted to people outside my comfort zone
People don’t understand that you can be romantically attracted to someone without being sexually attracted to them. I don’t have a genitalia preference or a gender preference, but I am on the ace spectrum and there are a few people I’ve liked but didn’t want to have sex with. It’s possible to like a trans person but not want to have sex with them. I’m not trans so I can’t speak on this, but it doesn’t make sense if they already have bottom surgery. I mean, it’s not like a trans woman with bottom surgery has her penis anymore but if you say “yeah but she DID” seems transphobic because you don’t see them as a “real woman”, you see them as “men” and that isn’t cool to me.
@@Trollestiatumblur For me that's what I would call a friend. Someone I care for and like, but am not sexually interested in. I guess there are a few differences, probably wouldn't ever plan on having kids with a friend. But then again, not sure I want kids with a romantic partner either 🤷♂️
"If you are attracted to us before you know, then you should still be attracted to us after you know" That's not necessarily true. Some people may find someone attractive superficially, but that's not the only thing to take into consideration. Maybe the idea of transition itself is unattractive to some people.
Or they may be attracted because they think they’re cis, and not only being lied to, but finding you’ve dated someone you thought was in line with your sexuality and finding out it isn’t, would be so violating. It’s not consensual, especially if there was sex involved. Its like a blind straight man getting down and dirty with a gay guy doing a girl voice without his knowledge. It’s violating and its wrong, its not transphobic to have a straight sexuality.
Blaire doesn't seem transphobic to me. She is just critical of some issues/rhetoric. Trans women/issues are just as open to criticism as everyone else.
I noticed that Blaire does that normal Trumpster thing where they don’t learn or even try to learn someone’s name, specifically someone of a minority group. It’s truly not that hard to just look up pronunciations if you don’t know(of course not towards those who have difficulty in general pronouncing words cause I totally get that, my tongue just doesn’t do so swell sometimes.)
I mean Blair is the only trans TH-camr who I can find who is conservative, that's another reason why I admire her because most trans people who are conservative and any conservative at this point does get back lashed for their political views when in reality we can all be friends outside of our political views, I don't know why that's hard for some liberals to understand.
@@sindelscat9336 I don’t know if you thought I was rooting for Blaire because I’m not, I really do not like her, as a trans and nonbinary person myself. Let me first explain my comment better. I despise when Republicans or Conservatives mispronounce a minority person’s name wrong on purpose continuously because I feel that’s a way to dehumanize a person, to make fun of a person, and just tear a person down. For privileged cishet white people in power to disregard a person’s name and mock their name is disgusting. As for why I dislike Conservatives deeply is due to the fact that their opinions, a lot of the time, go against the human rights and life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness of others. Conservatives largely agree with racist, LGBTQ+phobic, sexist, xenophobic, and other such oppressive ideas all the time. These are not opinions, the denial of a humans right to exist is not an opinion, you’re just a shitty and terrible human being. As for Blaire, she’s transphobic even though she’s trans. She denies the existence of trans people’s experiences who don’t align with her own. She’s especially nonbinary-phobic which fucking sucks because I am nonbinary. It hurts to see people with those “opinions,” especially someone in my own community, and to also deny I exist and think I shouldn’t exist. Yes, I believe we should all come together and be respectful no matter our political opinions, but political opinions are whether our taxes should go to social security or education, not whether someone should exist or not. If you enjoy Blaire White and agree with her ideas and opinions, you’re transphobic. If you want to find out more why she’s transphobic and a liar, watch this video this comment is under and some other videos by Samantha Lux on Blaire as well as Sam Collins(another transgender youtuber) and DAngeloWallace(a cisgender youtuber, but trans ally) who both also made videos on her.
@Bill schultzy I was aware that you weren't rooting for blair but you didn't have to make a whole novel of a comment, if you don't like her then I don't mind infact I'm actually open to your opinion about her. I personally don't like when liberals/Democrats have so much venom in their sentences when they do indeed find out someone is conservative/Republican, it doesn't really make you look good at all, and I don't mispronounce a trans person unless they look different or if I misread they're reply from time to time, which are accidents, I don't dehumanize a trans person unless they do it to me first, I don't make fun of trans people, but I am immediately called transphobic after answering no to there question "would you date someone who is trans". Honey the cis white male thing doesn't have an effect on me at all. I don't dislike liberals nor did I ask for your opinion on conservatives plus atleast conservatives are far more open to opinions and actually don't side with sjw's, femininazis, black supremacists, and terrorist organizations, also we don't dislike the lgbt community, infact we actually care about them more than the liberal party who infact only uses them to show accepting they are when really they're just attention seeking, conservatives don't agree with racists unless you're talking about the far right, not only that but the conservative party has proven to be more accepting to anyone who wants to join, it's just that liberals tend to go after the people who have less of awareness and feed lies about the other party to get them to their side, however this reply you left me has shown me what kind of person you are, I suggest you try to be more accepting of people with different opinions than you, and actually talk to people who do have different opinions than you, who knows you might have a different view of life. I also like to point out that saying that I'm transphobic because I agree with some of the points that Blair makes in some of her videos is actually a very very shallow point of view, and it really just makes me sad to see such an insane person like you on this platform, this is what the liberals do to people like you they just feed you lies and then they'll throw you away once they're done with you. Sam's video may be okay but it has flaws in it, and honestly I checked out the other guys videos, they didn't really prove anything plus calling Blair names is not going to make your argument more valid honey and that's just sad.
AS LONG AS their not clearly misgendering them such as saying "I dont want to date someone who's a boy" even though they go by she/her, it's fine by me. Genital preferences are completely valid.
As long as ur not just dumping them bc of being trans. If ur saying “hey I’m not sexually/romantically attracted to you.” That’s fine. If you dis em because of being trans that’s transphobic
@Thomas Mcintyre If you misgender and disrespect them, it becomes a problem. Not wanting to date them because you aren't attracted to them or the genitals they possess is fine, so long as it's done respectfully
Quick side note, not wanting kids and not being able to reproduce are very different. If you want kids, and someone else doesn’t, a relationship likely wouldn’t work out in the long run. There are other ways to have kids besides being able to reproduce, including methods that would still give the cis-parent a biological child. If u really need a biological child with both parents’ DNA, ok whatever lmao. anyways love u bye 💚
Instagram & Twitter: @_samanthalux
exactly! love you girl
This is so true. I also currently don’t want to ever be pregnant be I do want children so I hope some day I can adopt even if I am with someone who could get me pregnant
I agre with ya
Also bc science we can actually use 2 people’s DNA !!
www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/science/2019/apr/11/baby-with-dna-from-three-people-born-in-greece-ivf and with mitochondrial DNA included... we can use THREE people’s DNA
"I don't want to" is a perfectly valid reason to reject anyone for dating. No additional explanation is needed.
Well-said
I agree. 👍🏾
Yesss!
@@damienvi7867 amén to that
I agree!
Actually rejecting a cis woman (or man) because she has fertility issues is fairly common, it's just not talked about that much!
jep, can agree.
Personally I would love to have a baby with the person I love that is half me/ half my loved one.
I always dreamed of that.
So I have to admit that if I learnt that the person I am about to date is infertile, I might reconsider. And I feel bad for that because of course it's a very sensitive matter and I can't imagine how sad I was if I was the one who can't get biological children.
But if I am already talking to someone who I like, I would never reject them for their infertility at that point.
Of course I would be sad, but you can be sad together now and maybe adopt. At that point I feel like, if i can't have a child the "natural" way, that's the way I would go.
I'm sorry English isn't my first language and after writing this I think I have to take back what I wrote first.
Obviously I would only go on a date with someone I like. You could make it work if he's the right one.
So sorry for tiping all of this, just to come to the conclusion that you shouldn't reject anyone for being infertile, but I thought it would be nice to share my thoughts with you.
Maybe to get other people to think twice as well.
Wishing you the best and sorry for my bla bla bla 😂
Yep, it's happened to me a couple of times. Or the other situation that happens is that when they find out I can't have kids they just want to 'keep things casual' ie have sex with me while still looking for a woman to breed. Um, no thanks.
Or if their partner just doesn't want kids at all in the future. My brother's gf broke up with him over not wanting kids.
@@weasel7491 I feel like that's a very valid reason though. Not agreeing on wanting/not wanting kids would mean one partner is unhappy for the rest of their life. It's not just disagreeing on a haircut or something, one's whole life and dreams are affected by the wish to have/not have kids. I think it's very important to find a partner who is agreeing on this with you.
Nobody gets to tell anyone else who they should be attracted to or be in a relationship with. END OF STORY.
Well said sir
But if Trans women are really women, then straight men should be attracted to them
isn't that what a straight man means? a man who is attracted to women?
if straight people are not attracted at all to all trans women then either they are either bigoted or maybe trans women aren't really women
@@MZONE991 you can be a man or women but you shouldn't force people to belive that either since its different for everyone
@@MZONE991 I'm a straight cisgendered male, but that doesn't mean I'm automatically attracted to every woman I meet.
@@joey_iz_weird6212
what is a man and what is a woman?
Unpopular opinion: you don’t need to have a valid reason not to date someone 🤷🏽♀️that’s just your choice
Wouldn't say it's unpopular. Nobody's owed sex or relationship.
It’s a popular opinion honestly
Yes, though that doesn't mean that the reasoning isn't bigoted. For instance, a white supremacist has the right to not date black people, but that doesn't mean their reasoning isn't based on unjust hatred and/or prejudice.
@@technoloverish are you really trying compare black people to trans people
👏
Just a reminder to crappy people:
You can be nice to someone and not be attracted to them. Crazy huh.
Exactly I like trans people as friends but not as partners (but I'm not crappy )
Just a reminder to crappy people.
There are transpeople legitimately pushing for conversion therapy.
*incels loosing their goddamn mind*
@@goawayleavemealone2880 🤨
@@somewhatsurprisedpikachu2887 - Riley Dennis is just one example. But I can think of others like Zinnia Jones.
Off topic and a very popular opinion: Your hair looks so great today!
Extremely popular opinion
I love Todoroni
When doesn't it? XD
@@RocketPooch It always looks nice
Right!!! I'm gonna copy it tomorrow 😁
I really wanna make it incredibly, explicitly clear that you never ever _ever_ are obligated to date _anybody._ You do not owe anyone any kind of relationship. Never let anyone convince you that you owe them something.
Edit: Besties this comment was not an invitation for transphobia I'm literally a trans man
Exactly, I feel like people are calling it transphobic just to guilt trip people for not wanting to date them.
Agree 100%
The point of the video is that anybody had never said that you're obliged to.
That Blair just said a lot of BS, so it's really a non-issue.
@@g.gregorio8644 Oh, I know. I just really wanted to say this and it felt like a good time.
No one said that
No means nooooo .... no matter who they are. Period.
That's right. So, I tell those not being able to take "no" for an answer: This mentality alone tells me you're still a "male". I don't care how much make up or plastic surgeries you go through. You men never change.
@@jlc6107 Found the irrelevant feminist.
@@jadapinkett1656nice catch.
@@jlc6107You say that as Tho Trans men aren’t the exact same!!!! and they are biologically woman!! Just stop with the Misandry.
Yep, or else its grape
No one is entitled to a relationship with anyone.
Whats that got to do with anything? You can't force a relationship. They happen or they don't 🤣
@@fireside9549 In a roundabout way, you just re-iterated what she said.
@@HRHtheDude Exactly. I don't get Tom's point. He just restated Tarren's point in a different way
@@carac6785 Absolutely his statement makes no sense, he just repeated what Tarren said but in an alternative way
exactly
The important thing to remember is no means no. If someone isn't comfortable dating someone, that needs to be respected. No explanation needed.
Everyone here knows that. That doesn't need to be said. The point is, that doesn't mean that their reason for being uncomfortable with it isn't transphobic. Just like how a person can say no to dating somebody because they are of a certain race and they don't like people of that race, but that doesn't mean they aren't racist. You're confusing a right to do something with whether or not that exercising that right is based on rational reasoning.
@@technoloverish They were just making a side point, as some people in these comments get carried away thinking everyone owes someone a relationship; and whilst everyone may know ‘no means no’, not everyone understands that, there’s no harm in reiterating ‘no means no’. I don’t believe OP is confusing anything, but simply stating a fact that can be easy to forget in these debates.
@@cj597
How so though? Has anybody here advocated for disregarding no?
@@technoloverish I'm gay and personally not attracted to trans men. I do not like surgically altered bodies, and trans men fall under that getting their breasts cut off and undergoing a phalloplasty. Plus I dont like vaginas
@@technoloverish stop comparing it to race homeboy. Being trans isn’t like being black. I don’t have to break down why I don’t want to date a trans woman. You can call me transphobic, I don’t care. Just don’t publicly shame people and get them fired from their jobs because nobody wants to sleep with a “woman” with a dick. And besides, rather than focusing on a relationship and dictating others responses, maybe trans people should figure out who they are first. It’s not our fault they aren’t getting laid
It’s not transphobic, everybody has a preference. For my own safety I disclose I’m trans right away.
But if Trans women are really women, then straight men should be attracted to them
isn't that what a straight man means? a man who is attracted to women?
if straight people are not attracted at all to all trans women then either they are either bigoted or maybe trans women aren't really women
@@MZONE991 nah I think straight people are very varied just like people of any sexuality. a straight person might refuse an attractive trans person because they prefer certain genitals & it matters to them in a relationship, a straight person may also accept a trans person while still identifying as straight because they care more about the trans persons gender identity than their biological traits. it’s personal preference & doesnt make trans women not women (or any other trans person of any other gender identity). also gender is very complicated & although it can be influenced by sex they’re not completely overlapping, like you could probably get a whole team of scientists and psychologists and sociologists and historians to study it. I’m not trans myself but the general consensus I get is that trans people just feel more comfortable identifying as a gender other than what was assigned at birth & so that’s that. I don’t have all the answers on gender either, I just think respecting trans people is something I can do that doesn’t take much effort but can do a lot in helping them feel comfortable
@@percabethisawesome1163
that's part of the reason why I am gender critical
male and female have virtually become meaningless abstractions, if male and female have nothing to do with gametes then what the hell do they mean anymore?
also you are wrong in your last point, science ha shown that transitioning does not cure gender dysphoria see a paper titled "Correction to Bränström and Pachankis"
it's one of the biggest studies on this issue
@@MZONE991 they are not biologically women. So the op is correct because biologically straight people are not attracted to people who were at one point biologically the same the same sex.
@@MZONE991 well I mean men and women are defined by gametes contrarily to what much of the lgbtq+ community tries to say. But, that is why we call them trans women. To be honest it confuses me.
Short answer: no, it’s not transphobic.
You chose who you date. If someone tries to force you cuz it’s some “phobic”, they’re an incel.
Not everyone is incel if they don't think like you. accept it and move on. everyone has their opinion on this topic, . nobody is forcing anyone here. :)
@@laretakomely5151 in a sense some people are trying to shame heterosexual people to date trans people. Here is the game they play. They say It’s ok if you don’t like to date trans women…but than turn around and say.., but if you like women why don’t you like trans women because trans women are no different than any other women so if you don’t like trans women you are transphobic lol.
@@laretakomely5151 not saying that people are incels if they don’t think like me, I’m saying that it’s incel behavior if people are throwing a fit over people not dating someone.
Real incels throw fits when women or men in general don’t date them. I’ve seen some people call others transphobic for not dating trans people.
It’s the same situation but different people
@@myquirkisfred9614 I don't agree with you. trans people are a minority. I can understand that sometimes there may be a prejudice or stigma Transphobia. but none or most forces them. everyone makes their choices . even if you are a cis person i dont know if you are trans or whatever .. but who has experienced being a minority the stigma on dating you should not speak without knowing.
@@laretakomely5151 You’re just throwing around a bunch of words to try to sound smart when it’s obvious to everyone here you’re not, he’s talking about something simple if someone rejects you, and you throw a fit about it you are a incel, it does not matter wether you agree or not that’s a fact of life. You’re a toxic person if you try to dehumanize someone that rejects you and no amount of being “trans” gets you out of it. Your “minority” argument goes for racism, trans isn’t a race and anyone can be prejudice, also anyone can be an incel. It’s beginning to seem like you are one
Empathy: “I feel your feelings”
Sympathy: “I understand your feelings”
Sympathy is acknowledging that someone has their own pair of shoes, empathy is being able to put yourself in those.
its actually the other way around
@@direlinqqed
@@direlinqqed
sym·pa·thy
/ˈsimpəTHē/
understanding between people
So uh... no. I was correct. I ripped these off of google so feel free to look it up.
@@RebelQueenAmelia yes! This is a great example of what I was trying to say! I don’t know how I didn’t see this sooner!
And apathy: "your feelings mean nothing"
^that's the one I enjoy and prefer feeling
unrelated, but your eyeliner is just **chefs kiss**
thx for the likes! (never gotten this many before)
Hehe thank u 😘😘
Ikr like this is the first video of hers I’ve seen and my first though was “wow her makeup is awesome”
IKR I couldn’t stop looking at it
literally the first thing I thought when I started the video. Just gorgeous!!
I know right? couldn't stop staring...
I don’t think it’s transphobic to have preferences. HOWEVER it IS transphobic to hate or be disgusted that that person is trans and refuse to acknowledge who you are.
It's not transphobic to refuse to acknowledge who you think you are if I don't agree scientifically moron.
@@ebogar42 You can't disagree "scientifically" if "science" doesn't even agree with you... You only disagree because you've never taken the time to learn anything regarding sex and gender... So yes, it's pretty transphobic to not acknowledge a trans person's identity, whether you're using your lack of scientific knowledge or not to justify that transphobia.
@@nibbatron6283 Dipshit, I've read all the studies. They have no peer reviews. That isn't how science is done, you know that right? A few studies filled with words like, "maybe", "possibly", "Could be" isn't science. You're reading data mixed in with an opinion, but no real facts to back it up. It's not transphobic if I don't believe there are more than two genders moron. You are the ones that have to prove it to people. Not the other way around when biologically gender and sex has always been interchangeable. This idea that there are a million genders is a very new theory with little evidence it back it up. If you all actually studied science you would know how scientific theory works. It has to go through tons of studies and lots of peer review studies before you can call it facts. Keep playing a victim though and acting like everyone hates you for not accepting you for who you think you are with no evidence you're right. What makes you right? Without using gender norms or society constructs, what makes you think you're the opposite gender than the sex you were born with?
@@ebogar42 YES IT IS transphobic to not respect their pronouns and who they are.
@@titanblade3706 That's stupid. You're asking me to go against what I think scientifically to appease your feelings and if I don't I'm transphobic? What exactly am I afraid of? How does you or anyone else thinking they're male or female affect my life? Why would I hate someone just because I don't agree with them? You all pull the victim card more than anyone. Not agreeing with you doesn't mean anyone hates you. If I hated you or didn't like you for how you thought, you would definitely know.
I completely disagree when you said that not telling someone that your trans isn’t lying. It is. If someone is very clearly under the assumption that you are a Cis woman and you are aware of this, not telling them has the exact same effect as lying to them. Leading trans people to believe that not telling who their dating that their trans is fine because it “didn’t come up in conversation” or “they didn’t ask” is incredibly dangerous for trans people.
Very true. It’s important to disclose that information so that the other person can make a choice as to whether or not they will accept dating a trans person. If a trans person is afraid of a violent response, they probably don’t want to date a person who could potentially harm them for being deceitful. Besides, it’s best to just admit you are trans in a text before meeting up so there’s no risk of violence.
@@sittinginthedaisies5415 it's a lie by omission, and this case it's nothing short of grooming. You should know that not everyone is ready to date trans people, you should know that people have boundaries, that no means no and it's 2023, grow up.
@@waffleempress5772 NOPe it’s not they will bring it up if there having intercourse but other than that they will tell them when there ready. Because it’s dangerous being trans and we have been beaten coming out to people.
@@sittinginthedaisies5415 then DO NOT LIE TO PEOPLE. And grow up. I repeat, a lie by omission is *still* a lie. No matter how many “nopes” you type. You cannot just reveal this important detail when it’s time to drop your pants. You cannot manipulate people into dating you. Let. Them. Choose. Right. Away. Let them leave if it’s not for them. Or your behavior is no better than that of a rapist or, at the very least, a groomer.
@@sittinginthedaisies5415 same as it ain't your responsibility to tell your partner if you have any stds
I’ve met straight cis people who have left their cis partners because they were infertile. :O It’s sad but it does happen
Damn I can absolutely understand wanting a biological family I don't think that's an odd thing at all however to ditch your partner because you discovered they were infertile...sounds kinda mean doesn't it like where did all your love go
@@sarahbarabe8470 In many societies, marriage has nothing to do with love. For 1000s of years, marriages were arranged. Only in the last 200 years in the west has casual dating existed. In parts of the middle east & parts of India, casual dating still doesn't exist. Male + female relationships in most of recorded human history had nothing to do with love. It was only about procreation. I don't know of any married cis gender M+F couples past 10 years of marriage who have remained happy. lol. PS, I am not saying arranged marriage is good. I am just using that to make my point that married with children is not about being happy. It is about procreation. I don't know of any married with children who are happy. When asked, they answer tha they're proud of their kids but they never say that they're happy. That's why relationships outside cis M-F is often (not always) labelled by many (no all) as "gay". In old English "gay" meant happy with zero other meanings to the word. These relationships are all about finding happiness. I ramble. My whole point is that maybe the cis M-F couple Jerry N was referring to broke up because they never really loved each other. They were attracted to what they thought was their best chance for procreation.
@@sarahbarabe8470 It might be mean, but if you want kids then you have to do what you have to do and get rid of them and find a partner that can have them.
@@RPhTom Of course, but I'm pretty sure OP meant average western people who were in mutual relationships.
@@sarahbarabe8470 I don't think it's necessarily mean, it broke my dad's heart when he broke up with a girlfriend of his because she was infertile. He loved her, he saw a life with her, but in the end he couldn't see himself having kids any other way than the "au natural" way. And honestly I think both people deserve that. They deserve the truth and to be able to find someone who can accept their whole self. It would be more mean for my dad to have held onto that women knowing that it was a deal breaker for him
You’re really sweet, but yes a lot of people WOULD and DO break up with infertile partners. It’s actually a valid reason for divorce in some religions.
That's the main reason why people divorced throughout history
@@penetrasean No, it isn't. It may not be very important to you, but some people have a strong desire to have children. No person is entitled to anyone staying with them despite it ruining their life because they don't want to hurt the other persons feelings.
@@Line... couldn't have said it better. Everyone should seek their version of a full life and have the decency to let others seek theirs too when the paths don't head the same direction.
I w It kind of is. If you'd drop someone so heartlessly cause they can't have a child then that means the relationship was never about the both of you. It's about what they could give you and you don't care about what they want. I'd like to imagine if I had to do it I'd be a reluctant thing to leave them. Not something I'd pursue callously and guilt free. How much do you love someone if you don't care when they're hurt, or hurt with them?
@@blackowl641 idk for me it's about what you love more, the idea of having a biological child or the idea of staying with that person. If you feel that you love and yearn for the first more, you owe it to them to be honest and let them find the love you can't give them. I don't think that's ever an easy decision to make
Not at all. Some would wholeheartedly date trans, others wouldn't. I'm glad people have a choice. Me personally, I would.
the point is that it depends on the reason and context.
Watch the video for more details. That's the point of the video.
Viewing a transwoman as a dude from a biological standpoint is objectively accurate. And sexual attraction keying on biological sex was a driving force in the continued existence of sentient sexual species since long before there were humans. It's not phobia or bigotry. It's not even like a racial preference, because sexual instincts didn't evolve around "races" as such.
It doesn't imply a sense that transwomen are lesser people with lesser rights, or that nobody should date them, simply to see them as male from a standpoint of one's own biological sexual instincts. Likewise with transmen. It would be like saying that just being gay or being straight in the first place and not being bi, apart from trans issues, was sexism or homophobia. That wouldn't be an honest representation of the nature of the preference for some people.
The idea that seeing a transwoman as a dude from a standpoint of sexual attraction is some kind of bigotry relates to the larger problem of an expectation that people will kind of blur their minds and accept as a rule of faith that transwomen are women in every sense that should matter to anyone (and similarly with men). It isn't objectively true. Biological sex affects some feminist issues differently from gender identity, they affect some sports issues differently, and they affect some people's sense of attraction differently.
T h i s
@@el1337i but if your preference is "I don't want to date this person who has no physical differences to any other person of that gender just because they're trans" then that's transphobic.
No one should be judged or called transphobic for having a dating preference. Period.
If you like the woman you date
If you are attracted to her physically and you like her character too and then when she says she is trans you suddenly „lose“ interest You are nothing but a clown with the smallest balls on earth haha
People like that are no real men
I mean, I don't really think that, It really depends on perspective.
also: GURL YOUR MAKEUP IS LOOKIN FIRE!
Yesnt
To Me, Yes On A Lot of Occasions. Oh and A Lot of Others No!
@@AbigailHonestly i dont know what is up with that chin shading
It looks like frostbite apart from that its fine
People break up because of infertility all the time... wanting to have kids is valid, you don’t just “get over” that desire
Well but other techniques are always available. In vitro fertilization, GIFT, ZIFT
@@Nimish204 why when he or she can meet a welling partner or a partner who can have kids,,,, treatments are Expensive and painful
@Fascism Man why do you have woman in quotations? (wild guess incoming) are you implying that a woman isn't a woman just because she doesn't have some cells?
@Fascism Man that's kinda an asshole move my guy :/
@Fascism Man Facts
Preference and hate are two different things yall
Very true.
And preference doesn't equal hate.
Extremely true nice pic don’t know that guy though lol
@@moonlessmoogle preach
Yes and she said that.
It's not trans-phobic. It's a preference.
my kid: dad, i'm trans
me: hi trans, i'm transparent.
He did it. Fuck, he did it.
This had me rolling across the ocean
You missed a line...
Mum: Don't do it, don't you dare
WAIT-
I don't know if I love you or hate you 😂 Brutal punning.
Empathy is relating to someone personally, like you’ve had a similar experience and you relate. Sympathy is more of a detached understanding of someone’s feelings
It’s backwards. Empathy is caring about someone’s feelings or situation despite the fact that you’ve never gone through those struggles yourself while sympathy is caring due to your own personal experiences.
@@saori5808 No, I promise it's not lol. Just look it up.
@@nibbatron6283 yeah no, Saori's right
p. s. I checked before commenting
@@saori5808 Rebecca has it right, I 100% guarantee you. Learned it in high school English, its something I will never forget.
@@sophiacherniysc idk how you checked and still got it wrong, but Rebecca was right. I know for an absolute fact
What’s this? Blaire not actually researching and just selective picking parts of a story to fit her narrative? Shocking... 💀💀💀💀
Lol
The article: My nonbinary friends are great, but they are having a hard time finding dates because apps like Tinder only allowed them to list their gender as man or woman. They're too feminine for the guys who want men and too masculine for the guys who want women.
Blaire: So your friends want to GUILT TRIP straight men into having sex with them??
Aw, roly supports Samantha 😻😻 love this for y’all.
Shocking not shocking 😸
like a trump supporter
I have had a transwoman say that I was transphobic because I was not interested in being intimate with her. She threatened to tell everyone that we knew that I was transphobic if I wasn’t intimate with her. Well I explained that I had certain preference/attractions and I refused to be bullied into have sex with her and she went ahead and slandered me. That was so uncool.
That was pretty r4pey of her. She literally thinks she can FORCE sex on people? Gross!
Not a Her.
He needs to go to jail. Slandering leading to the public defamation or online cyberbullying or cyberharassment. You have the right to press charges.
I wouldn't worry about to much. Anyone that truly knows you. Would know that is bullshit. Just by knowing you.
The double standard is so glaring - they're allowed to have their identity, have it respected (and it should be), love and be attracted to who they want to be attracted to, but cis people or gay or whatever are not allowed to have our own preferences, choices, desires? Unbelievable. In the past, no gay man or woman would call a straight person homophobic because they don't want to date you.
Great video!
agreed Mr iNabber
The king is here 👁️👄👁️💜
Thank you! 💚
@@_samanthalux let's have a debate on Twitter DM and Post it for your next video because I disagree with you ok
Dang, king has mad taste
I feel like a lot of this is assuming the best out of people. A lot of people are shitty and WOULD leave a cis woman for being infertile
edit: you guys acts like the woman would not be just as distraught that she could not conceive children?? So leaving her for it would make her feel reeeal great
this...
Agree.
If a man really wants offspring and that has been his goal to be a biological father, how is that shallow and shitty? Breakups suck but, that has to be a personal choice.
@@JohnnygSawyer I think, because you can be a father without it being "biologically" your child.
@@JohnnygSawyer you can have a child other ways or adopt (i know adoption isn’t always right) like I’ve hear there’s a way with three biological parents for example.
Also You can be in a relationship with someone and have a child with someone else if its agreed upon.
For the pregnancy thing: No, I probably would not break up with someone infertile if I was really in love with them, but it's also a lot harder to throw away an established relationship than it is to simply not start one to begin with.
Exactly of from the jump you knew this you may not continue but if you’re already dating the person and find out it’s very different
@@tarynriver Exactly!
I also think it makes a big difference, if the person you're dating knew that they're not able to have kids, when you started the relationship. In this case they should have told that to their partner, from the start, especially when their partner is open about wanting to have kid's. That's also recommendable if they just don't WANT to have kids. Just make everything clear at the start of a relationship and spare everyone involved the potential heartbreak. Because for many people having a family, the traditional way or not, is very important and even if they decide to stay in the relationship, they will be very unhappy and that will make you very unhappy and than everyone will be miserable.
Exactly, and to be honest I find it a bit offensive that this Samantha acts like it's superficial to not date women who can't give birth. Like what the heck, since when has it been superficial to want biological children of your own with your partner?
You might as well say that every single preference you have for your partner is superficial.
Well tbh it’s kinda selfish to have children at this point but humans are selfish anyway, and we are not ready for this conversation
No one should ever have to justify why they do not want to be with someone else. Under any circumstances.
Where did Samantha say that people should be legally required to justify it? All we're saying is that a lot of people who don't want it have bigoted reasons. It doesn't mean they don't have the right to have those reasons. It just means that the reasons can be based on bigotry
@@technoloverishok... and?
@@technoloverish Legal is your word not mine. How do you see this as any kind of criticism of Samantha?
@@tomassmith1519 The whole point that is being argued is about people being asked to justify why they do not want to be with someone. This is not a criticism of Samantha or what she is saying.
@@ExpendableRedshirt I was respondind to to other one
Popular opinion: Samantha is beautiful with and without makeup🥵
Hahah thank you 🥰🥰
YEP (and on the inside)
totally is!
YES.
True
I had a friend of 12 years who recently blocked me because of that. They asked me if I thought it was transphobic to not date trans people and I said that I wouldn't be comfortable dating someone who doesn't have a penis. So now they hate me and blocked me.
So I am quite pleased to see that not every trans people would be hurt by my preferences. I don't want to hurt anyone
Their loss. That's like if you said you don't date black or Hispanic men then you're racist. I'm sure that one or two of those men you'd find attractive but over all if your preference is white men, that makes you human.
I'm sorry, but If a friend of 12 YEARS blocks and decides to "hate" me so quickly for a reason like that then there's a chance that they are definitely not a true or genuine friend anymore. That sounds very childish and like someone who's way too caught up in social media.
@@Chill.Blossom it happened to me on FB. A guy I went to bootcamp with turned trans and told me that if I wouldn't date a transwoman I'm transphobic. I said that I have a wife and child so no need and [s]he proceeds to ask me if I was single if I would date a transwoman I told him/her "no" because I want biological kids with the woman I have sex with and want that child to have a 50/50 DNA split between me and their mother. To him it meant that I'm a "bigot".
@@miguelbermudez5426I'm very sorry you had to deal with that. The "If you don't want to date a transwoman you're transphobic." comment literally sounds like insecurity and the fear people have of getting rejected. Folks will call you a "phobe" just to feel as if they were in the right, instead of genuinely focusing on themselves and realizing that they have deep-rooted insecurities.
I believe that disrespecting people just because they want to settle and have their own biological family and kids is a No-Go. There's never anything wrong with getting into a serious relationship and wanting to settle. It seems like society doesn't seem to properly realize that these days.
@@Chill.Blossom I laughed honestly. [S]he even threw a jab at me saying that (A) I even hated American women because I married a Russian woman and (B) I was racist because I'm black and refused to marry a black woman.
Mind you I'm 1/2 Puerto Rican and 1/2 Dominican so I have different colors in my family and cultures. It was based off of pure ignorance and the logic used made no sense.
I like what I like and don't discriminate but it just so happened that I feel in love with a white girl from Russian whom I married and had a baby with.
No one is entitled to romance. period.
Here's my opinion: No one is going to be attracted to everyone, even from their group preference. Not every straight girl is going to be attracted to all men. Not every gay guy is going to be attracted to all men. Not every binary person... you get my point. Not being attracted to an individual is completely okay. But invalidating a person's ability to be a loving partner based on them being trans? That is transphobic.
P.s. people do leave their partners or refuse to date people based on infertility. Its a massive issue for people. I can't have kids and its ended a 3 year relationship. And prevent a few others from starting. People genuinely care that much about medical things because they feel like it becomes their burden too.
If you dont want the date a trans person, you dont have to. end of story. No explaination required. No one is entitled to a relationship.
@WildChild THANK U smart ppl be calling anything transphobic and homophobic its pissing me off
@ksts45Ⓐ tastes and preferences are super exclusionary! But what I should of made more clear was, let's say you meet a girl and she is exactly your type and you get along perfevt. Turns out, she is m2f but has had top and bottom surgery. So she is physically and emotionally your type. But you say no because she is trans. I would consider that transphobic. Because I think for most people it does come down to what is or isn't down there. And that's completely okay! If you're not attracted to a certain anatomy. You can't force it. But when the anatomy is no longer there... what's your excuse?
@ksts45Ⓐ yeah but I should be entitled to having a preference I should be able to have my OWN preference if I’m going to be with someone for the rest of my life
Well it is a burden. Anything that concerns the partner that bothers them, it's a burden. We have to respect that, because in a relationship, there's two, and if one is bothered, they have the right to leave at any time. As far as trans people getting rejected because they're trans, I don't think it's fair to assume one is transphobic. The definition does say a "dislike" towards trans persons. So if that's the case, then there's phobia when rejecting anybody. Lesbians are male phobic, homosexuals are female phobic, lots of people are fat phobic, but we never really use these terms now do we? It's best if we respect anybodys rejection, they're a single person, they choose who they wanna be with and their reasons if private should not be asked about. I just don't think it's right to be calling anybody transphobic, if they don't like transpeople period, that's their right and should not be shamed for it. It's not like ima shame a transgender woman for rejecting a lesbian, cus they don't like women, that's disrespectful and is way out of line for me, that's up to the person making the rejection and their personal choice alone.
Why people have to justify what they want to do in their emotional sphere? If I do not want to date a trans-woman I do not need any reason, emotions are subjective.
@@persassyjackson1688 I am sorry to say, but the entire objection you highline looks really pointless to me. To me it looks like you are clearly trying to overexplain a simple situation to throw in the conversation the word transphobia.
At this point it would be enough for me to answer you that IT IS MY BODY that is on the line then it is MY CHOICE and really the discussion should simply end there becuase it is what it is.
You see if someone asks me out I am free to say no if I do not feel like nor if I do not want to and noone should try to shame anyone for their free choice.
Did I answer your question or there is really the need to overexplain even more?
KR,
Maurizio
@@persassyjackson1688 do you agree that the subject discussed in the video belongs to everyone's personal emotional sphere?
I will assume a YES in order to continue the thread, because if you answer NO we would be in a type of disagreement which would require a different type of conversation.
When I, as person, approach another person I do it because I like the person (for wathever reason). When I, as a person, get asked out by another person I will say yes or no for multiple possible reasons. Either way I base my choice on feelings/decisions that I chose to follow, I could even base my decisions on more rational evaluations, but this would not change the substance of the matter.
The real question here is: is a person free to choose/feel what it wants when it comes to chose with who to have emotional interaction?
For me the answer is a solid YES.
P.S this specific topic restricted to this specific domain is, in reality, very simple. If you would like to have a more complex exchange we could find the way to have a conversation, because I think that talking would be a little easier.
@@persassyjackson1688 I was writing, but enter kicked toos soon.. let me write after this one.
@@persassyjackson1688 Concerning the all list of cases you have made I think that there is a foundamental flow.
If we start to introduce the concept that saying no to going out with a group of people only based a single charateristic is phobic we open the door to a all new chategory of phobias... and I think we should, as a society, not open the door to this to happen -> example a particular individual DOES NOT discriminate a particular trans individual at work nor in any other aspects of social life, but then the trans person asks out this individual and gets refused to go on a date only based on the fact that the person is a trans person (you seem very articulate so you very well know that in reality there are multiple reasons, but for this example we will state that the Trans attribute is the predominant decision factor). For me the individual that refused cannot and should not be accused of transphobia.
Do you see the issue in saying the countrary?
I think that people and society in general has to accept that when it comes to dating and to the emotional/romantic sphere people HAVE TO BE ABLE TO REMAIN FREE to chose on whatever they see fit without any attempt of being shames.
And to be clear: what do you think that a video with a title like that does if not try to push shame?
It looks interseting to discuss with you, but I really prefer to discuss these topics not in writing, because I have to really force myself to try to articulate my thougts in writing (my original comment was etremely short).
Cheers,
Maurizio
@@persassyjackson1688 the idea that choice does not involve emotions is completely false.
gurl ur so pretty! Can I borrow ur face 🥺❤
Also thank you for sticking up for non-binary people. Blaire does this whole "If they aren't like me, they're doing it wrong" kinda thing. I find that a lot of her content isn't as nutritious and academically stimulating as it is merely her ranting about people she doesn't personally like... Thats just my opinion tho uwu
yeah it’s so annoying it’s xenophobic and honestly transphobic for a trans girl.
@@hadley20 xenophobic. I have never heard of that term. but if it has something to do with xenomorphs, there's reason to afraid XD. (It's a joke, please don't get mad. I seriously have never heard that term before)
@@mikkogeneration Btw Xenophobia literally refers to an irrational fear/hatred of aliens. It usually refers to foreigners but it could also be used for gatekeeping. The Xeno bit means alien, which is why it sounds like Xenomorph.
Hahah thank u 🥰🥰💚
@cum sack you mean human
honestly if someone didn't tell me they were male and switched to female i would still assume that to be lying and break up with them , you should ALWAYS disclose that info straight away
So by that logic, since I have high-functioning autism but pass as being neurotypical, and since I know that a lot of people aren't into people with disabilities, would say that it's immoral for me not to tell a partner about that?
@@technoloverish you dont have to but you cant blame the person for leaving later on if they found out what sex you were born, thats all on you, if you were together for lets say 10 years and they found out some people will legit leave straight up so cant be mad at them though that was on you
@@technoloverish you dont have to tell them right away but maybe within the first few dates. If someone one want a long term relatonship with you and or wants kids that can pose problems so its better to tell them sooner. Living with someone with autism can have a lot of changes depending on who they are and what their prefrences are for example i hear some people with autism dont like it when people touch their stuff this can pose problems in a relationship where you live together. Not only this but when having kids a parent with autism is more likely to have a kid with autism these chances increase i think when the person has adhd?? But raising kids with autism can be challenging because all kids with autism have a different way of functioning and what works for them might not work for a different person with autism. Now all kids work differently thats true but i do think there is just a basis for what works and what dosent in parenting because most are devolping similar. I think this makes it more challenging to raise someone with autism also because you dont know where they will be on the spectrum. If they will need assistance in there adult life and how much youll have to help them.
@@StarryIcecream
Yeah, I mean, I think when people are wanting something longterm with someone else, they definitely should share such personal details without first getting to know the other person, but I do think it's best to make each other aware of those things before anything get super serious for the reasons you describes. Plus, isn't a person kinda wasting their time if the person they're with isn't someone who will accept them for who they are?
@@technoloverish I'm bipolar and tell people right up front, first or second date, including my suicidal past. They should know. Better to tell them then, because if they're not cool they'll just jump ship and I'd rather not go through that whole sitch. People are allowed to have their preferences. It's totally wrong to pressure someone to be attracted to someone they're not. And it isn't an "ism" if you aren't legit physically attracted to a certain type of person. Fetishism is one thing, sure, but preferences, that's just natural.
i mean everyone has preferences you shouldn't be forced to date someone regardless of gender 🤷♀️
Or race
...did you see the video? She literally said that :>
@@pattysalazar6823 but why is this even a debate tho?
@@rexyz5875 Cause they don't really mean that. It would be outright rapey if they said you have to date trans, so they frame it in another way......yes you can have your preference, but if you don't.....you are something phobic.
No mean no, my body my choice, its as simple as that, but some ppl can't accept that, so they attempt to shame you
@@jammadan exactly, they will say not wanting a date a trans person isn’t trans phobic but then say if you don’t want date a person simply because they are trans and that reason alone you are trans phobic.
please remember: you do not own anybody a relationship. you don't owe anybody sex!
Facts
But if Trans women are really women, then straight men should be attracted to them
isn't that what a straight man means? a man who is attracted to women?
if straight people are not attracted at all to all trans women then either they are either bigoted or maybe trans women aren't really women
@@MZONE991 I have zero interest in trans women. I don’t hate them though
@@deecrews8762
but they are women, so why aren't you attracted to them? not even a single one?
doesn't a straight man mean attracted to females? aren't trans women female??
@@MZONE991 They are not something I'm attracted to. Never have been and never will be. No amount of guilting and shaming will ever change that. Accept it and move on. No means no.
Aren't trans people part of the LGBTQ community? Didn't the gays and lesbians spend years fighting to get people to understand that attraction IS NOT A CHOICE? You cannot CHOOSE to be attracted to someone simply because that person just happens to have the wrong sex or gender or whatever the hell it's being called this week.
No means no and attraction is not a choice and is not up for negotiation. Even the LGBTQ community agrees with that. Why can't you?
In the dating world, no one is entitled to a relationship, and people get to have whatever preference they want. Doesnt matter if they don't date a whole race, trans people, cis people, etc. It is important to understand where those preferences come from, but just because they may be shallow, doesn't mean they are invalid. And it doesn't matter what struggles you go through, you don't get to tell people who they can and can't date. Not being friends with someone because of their race, gender, etc IS racist/transphobic,... but not dating them isnt always.
Exactly. I wouldn't have a problem to date a trans person but I am not into black men. But in todays day and age I am not allowed to say that or I am a racist. Even tho I am far from a racist. I just prefer guys with blue eyes blonde hair.
The problem comes when you rule out a whole group of people for a collection of traits that aren’t always shared by everyone in that group. You don’t have to be attracted to everyone, and no one is saying that, but saying “I’m not into black guys,” when there are plenty of light-skinned black guys with blonde hair, etc. that would challenge your aesthetic preferences makes your statement discriminatory solely based on race, which is racist.
You also should be mindful of the fact that your aesthetic preferences have been largely influenced by growing up in a racist, sexist, transphobic society. It doesn’t mean you have to change, but you should be able to accept that your subconscious preferences may be influenced by racism, transphobia, etc. It doesn’t make you a bad person, but it is worth exploring why you feel the ways you do, and maybe you could weigh those reasons against your own morals and decide to be a little more open-minded in the process.
You’re attracted to who you’re attracted to, but who you’re attracted to definitely changes over time and with new experiences, and ruling people out limits your own growth, which in the end hurts you more than anyone else.
@@BTDubbz I don’t think it does. You’re assuming that I’m saying I don’t date black guys simply because I’m not attracted to the race but maybe I want someone that shares my culture and history? Then when I say I don’t date black guys, no matter if they have blonde hair my opinion will not be swayed.
@Veruna yes I only date people that share the same background as me. That’s not ruling out a group based on their physical traits but because that’s what I’m comfortable with. And it should be valid to say that without people attacking your choice
@@BTDubbz then can you say that homosexuality is ruling out a lot of people who don't conform to gender stereotypes? I should be able to tell a gay man "it's discriminatory that you claim to be gay because there's a lot of women who are very, very masculine and you are not considering them?"
“ Why won’t anyone date me? “ looks like monsters from a Tim Burton movie 😂
Hey...1st to click...if I'm attracted to someone..them being transgender is not a problem..Awesome video Samantha..Thank you
@Jack Barrow m o n a r c h
I was kinda hesitant at first, but talking to myself I understand that I could totally date trans man with no problem.
we stan a true king/ruler/queen
@@unapersonav1522 than you are gay
@@xboxinternet nope that is incorrect
It makes me sad to see LGBTQ+ people who internalise homophobia, transphobia or any other system of prejudice like Blair. I really hope she can get out of that hurtful mindset :/
It makes her money, she is the good trans girl 💫💫
If racists can change their views, so can Blaire. It's just a matter of time.
Pay her to and she probably will. She doesn't strike me as a person with values beyond $ and being a D-list celebrity.
LGBT is not a monolith and people can have greatly varying beliefs. Just because Blair and you have two different ideals, doesn't mean Blair has internalise hate.
There was this Nun I was friends with before moving, she would rag on all the other Christian faiths.
@@simonwinn8757 Beliefs is not the same as homophobia, transphobia or racism. These things are taught and they fester even in LGBTQ+ people. I've worked on myself a lot since I came out because all I knew at the time were these things. The way Blair fights against Trans people is not belief, it's a way for her to feel like she is protected against transphobes' prejudice, but as soon as she's not gonna be useful, she will be treated as badly as anyone else. It's a dangerous cycle that needs to be broken, and we can only hope she leaves her bigoted ways of self-preservation. Humans are stronger together and the way she fights against her own interests is just not helpful at all.
Actually I kinda disagree with the whole “biological children” point. I think that if someone wants biological kids it’s better to be honest with anyone they are dating, and shouldn’t feel pressured to just say they’ll figure it out. Yes it would really suck to be told someone doesn’t want to date you because you can’t have kids, but it’s not the other persons responsibility to just go along with the relationship if they know for a fact they want biological kids.
exactly thats what i hate like trans people be waiting years to tell the person they're dating its unfair on the person
Yessss! For me, having kids and experiencing pregnancy is the only thing I’ve always known I wanted in life. It’s the only thing I was sure of so it’s important to me. For some people it just means a lot to be able to do that. As long as you aren’t mean to the other person about it then it’s fine
Facts
Exactly, it's all about choice. I don't know why some choices are deemed more 'selfish' or 'mean' than others.
@@jodieessie5081 yes, same I agree
blaire: "don't be ugly and people will accept you."
Lol no it’s about the personality and intelligence
@@noway5469 and how does she know either of those attributes in the 2 people she was quick to judge?
@@noway5469 She was clearly judging the two people in the article off of their looks. She even misgendered them BECAUSE THEY HAVE BODY HAIR.
She DOES NOT know what their personality is like and shouldn't judge them just off of looks. Just disgusting.
I think she meant that if you really want to get with a straight guy, you better be putting in the effort to actually be attractive to a straight guy. The simple fact of the matter is that a straight guy would rather take an attractive girl over the trans people that Blaire was talking about. She never called them ugly. In my opinion they look fine but they are no supermodels. If I was in their shoes I would get hair removal, but maybe they like their hair. A lot of straight guys don't like body hair. I really hope their transitions bring them the fruits of their efforts though.
But what is the definition of ugly🤔
As a feminine trans guy, I live for the fact that blaire white would be terrified of my existence.
@@iamopinionatedoops3196
I’m confused by your comment a bit, could you paraphrase it?
You dont look feminine?
@@evaeggen6928 my profile picture isn’t me
@@iamopinionatedoops3196 have you seen some of her videos...? She makes fun and sometimes even misgenders people who she doesn’t think passes. And there are more than two genders, if you’re alluding to not believing as such.
@@nixpixl442 Idk why people are misunderstanding your comment. It's really clear from Blaire's history that anyone who doesn't pass or fit in the box she has decided is "trans enough" is essentially "free real estate" in her mind for mockery.
“Nobody says you have to be sexually attracted to them”
Girl, lemme tell you..
What does this mean
Ha! Us Asexuals know...)
@@justnana133 there was this whole thing with the Genderettes a while back trying to tell people (cis lesbians specifically) that if they didnt have sex with pre-op trans women they're transphobic
@@serazvi5387 Oh ok. (Also that's kinda shitty)
@@serazvi5387 Genderettes?
Some interesting points you made there, but honestly I’d have to strongly disagree. If someone doesn’t feel comfortable dating a trans woman, whether it’s genitals, wanting children, or they’re uncomfortable with the fact that the person in question wasn’t born a female, that is their preference, and there is nothing wrong with that. And since trans people are so concerned about their safety, they should be open and honest that they’re trans so that the guy you’re seeing isn’t led on to something or that he knows what he signed up for. If someone doesn’t want to date you cause you’re trans, move on and find someone who’s willing to date a trans person. Simple as that.
Exactly. But my sexuality isn't a preference. I'm a straight woman. I'm into men. I'm not into men who present as women, and I'm not into women who present as men. None of this was even a discussion before gender became such a popular thing.
@@billiemunchen you're a straight woman. Named Bill?
@@billiemunchen Bill, the straight woman? I'm going to have to disagree.
@@dapper_slapper4093 isn't Bill a nickname for Wilhelmina
@@billiemunchen Also what if you just dont want to deal with telling friends and family that the person who you are with is trans. I think when it comes to dating, you can discriminate based on anything, but dont be a jerk with someone else.
No one is entitled to a relationship. If someone doesn't want to date a trans person, they don't have to. End of story.
Literally no one said that lmfao
@@anastasiarose1430 Lmao clearly you haven't seen the comments and the person in the vid talking about "iF yOu lIkE uS bEfOre yOu kNew, yOu shOuld lIke Us aFtEr." Trying to label people transphobic for simply not wanting to date trans people is absurd. People are allowed to have PREFERENCES. Do you think gay men have to date straight women or else that's sexist? Tf? 💀💀
@@mistynights2834 Preach.
@@mistynights2834 Very well said!
@@mistynights2834 Dude, her point is about people rejecting trans people they were attracted to because they're don't believe they are valid, that is just transphobia no matter how you spin it. She says genital preference is fine, wanting to have biological children with your partner is fine, rejecting someone who lied to you is fine. Her point is literally "If you refuse to date a trans person because of your transphobic opinions you're transphobic otherwise its fine", people seriously need to brush up on their basic comprehension skills Jesus fucking Christ
To answer you question about cis people that can’t have kids... I was talking to a guy (cis) for a couple of days. He had this condition that lowered his testosterone so he had a slew of symptoms. One of the many being that he was sterile. I didn’t tell him that was the reason... but I had to let him go. Starting a biological family is something that’s important to me. And I knew if I ignored this I’d only come to despise him later.
@Speaking Truth Thanks, when someone is looking forward to that their whole lives, they don’t just want to give it up easily. And the thing that gets me is in another video she said she gets annoyed when people say “she’s lucky cause she doesn’t get periods” because she stated she would give anything to create her own offspring. And in this video she makes it seem weird that some people want the same thing. :/ I still love her but that threw me off.
@@penetrasean I mean if they had no idea and that surprised us both after years that’d be one thing. But if you’re trans thats obviously not the case because you’d know from the start. It’s a false equivalency.
As a gay men and being abandoned at birth, I can't relate a single bit to people valuing fertility so much. I'm so accustomed to the idea that I will have to adopt, and that love have nothing to do with bloodline (plus the overpopulation issue), that it will always sound shallow to me. I objectively know it not, and I'll never make someone feel bad about it, but I'm also entitled to find it not understandable, because I don't know what kinship feels like just like others don't know the lack of kinship.
@@paulclousier3856 In my opinion it’s only shallow if you think that a “traditional family” is the only valid one. Adoption and surrogacy are equally valid ways to bring children into your family. My preference is just the natural way, my maternal instinct has been kicking my ass lately lol. I understand where you’re coming from, but the “if you want to have your own kids you’re shallow” mentality needs to go. 😭 it’s rude for no reason
@@LoveMiaStuff but if you're ready to leave someone because they can't give you a "traditionnal family", I don't see how you value adoption as much as giving birth (maybe you mean valuing the ability to chose between the two?) . I don't think you are shallow for wanting biological children, but I think ending relationship for it, trying desperately to use medical treatments (my adoptive parents had multiple in-vitro atemps before adopting me) etc is shallow. Again I don't have this "instinct", I don't know it feels so that's why my opinion on birth giving doesn't really matter, but if everybody was thinking like this, I wouldnt even have a family, so it's not just about me (or us if I assume Samantha think the same) being rude.
Saying someone is transphobic for not dating a trans person is the equivalent of a gay man saying a straight guy is homophobic for not dating him.
It’s not transphobic. People have their preferences and if you don’t fit them..it’s time to put on your big girl/boy pants and get over it.
It IS transphobic if the only issue is that the person is transgender. What often happens is that straight cisgender guys will approach transgender women who they are attracted to and then get disgusted when they find out the person isn't transgender.
@@technoloverish * Sigh *....
Here we go...
Because...Yes, straight guys are attracted to BIOLOGICAL women. When we find out that they are Trans, it kind of, YA KNOW...Is alarming and would freak out any guy, who is straight, finding out that they slept with someone, who was originally a guy.
Sorry, if that's the case, Transwomen need to work on their self-esteem and self-confidence before dating if they get insulted by men not wanting to date them.
The left side of her hair said: RNA
The right side of her hair said: DNA
Just a little biology joke to spice up your life
Thats probably the most creative joke ive seen on yt fr thank you
Why is this the most clever joke I’ve seen on TH-cam in a while lmao 😂
this is the funniest thing i've seen in a hot minute
I are learning that in school rn how coincidental haha
Someone xplain plis
Im gay and i dont say homophobic to my straight guy friends that don't want to date me. People have choices. Like you and me. Dont be hypocrite.
Someone with sense
no... because you’re a man... they’re attracted to women... they transphobic cuz they’re only un-attracted to certain kinds of women
@@rei1sba315 Nobody is transphobic for simply not being attracted to transsexual women.
I totally support you, i have gay friends and i dont what them to feel that i am agains lgbt just because i think the stuff she was saying is crazy. She acts the victim because the guys did not wanted to be with her after they find out she was trans. I think thats is very dishonest.
@@rei1sba315 that example is so invalid, because that happens all the time, if you are going to create a separation for women, as you wrote: "certain kinds of women" (by the way, I am very offended by this, because women are women, there is no types of women), I'm going to give you the example of a women with curly hair vs. straight hair, some guys only date women with their specific taste in hair; If they like curly girls, they will only date curly girls, do you understand why what you are saying is not applicable to transphobia?
I'm gonna turn this around: Why don't trans people date trans people? Doesn't that make them trans-phobic or self-hating trans??? ;)
Also, to clarify something VERY IMPORTANT: No means no. It doesn't mean you're transphobic, homophobic, racist, Anti-Semite, Islamophobic, able-ist or anything else. It means NO. No means NO!
Dating is a very personal thing. Some asian people only date asian people, so are they rasists? No
Good one!
Ew ew ew get losssssst
Preference is not the same as bias or cultural stigma.
@@d3f_b4by79 I think we can respect trans people by just saying “no” if they want to date us (heteros). BUT! It’s not fair that trans want to make people think like them by saying “if you don’t date me just because Im a trans then you are automatically a transphobe or homophobe”. If an hetero thinks that a trans is basically someone in disguise then we should respect his opinion instead of demonizing him.
NOW! I believe that we (heteros) should respect trans by referring them as the gender they identify with or kindly rejecting them by just saying “no” instead of “I don’t date trans”.
@Super Straight Soldier Please tell me your a troll, because this is just sad...
As a nonbinary person, tysm. Blaire White says that enby's don't exist, and are 'things' and she used the r slur.
That's disgusting and you are valid and worth it
as a fellow enby I agree
She also admitted to saying the n word with the hard er on a regular basis while on a stream with onision
And she literally said the n word in a video, as well as she did black face
@@bitchimdoja4320 forgive me if I'm wrong but the only "blackface" I see that could be misconstrued is when she wore a black face treatment mask. When did she actually DO blackface?
not telling someone your trans is wrong. you technically didn’t lie but it’s still wrong. it’s just like when a married person gets into a relationship with someone else and doesn’t tell that person they are married already with kids. when that person finds out they are gonna be pissed.. u didn’t lie to me but you always didn’t tell me what i’m dealing with and that’s wrong
Agreed, if they lied to me and we dated for a long time and I found out with out them telling me I'm ending the relationship with them due to them not telling me cause how can I trust you?
Lmao you say it like you can't immidiately recognize that someone is a trans.
@@elliotpoco7539 Uh actually,a lot of trans people don't even "look trans" or whatever-
Like legit,there are some trans creators that I watched for a bit and didn't even think they were trans.
And if your'e actively looking for certain features that could possibly make them trans,then that's kinda weird my guy :/
@@s.k.5747 Wait,how is that wrong?
@@s.k.5747 that doesn't really make sense? Hetero people are just as likely to cheat on their partner as bi people if that's what you meant. I don't really understand your comment. Also, u don't need to put speech quotations on bi. Idk if u were actually being biphobic but it comes across as if u don't think we exist.
Withholding information is deceitful and wrong. You can spin it anyway you want
I wouldn't have any problem dating a trans person- just sayin'
Then show your face
@Thank U, Next Yeah aha I'm bi and dating a trans boy! He didn't come out until after we started dating, but yeah it didn't change at all. (I'm female)
Tbh if my lover came out to me as trans i’d be shocked but like..a day or two later i’d give zero fucks,i still love them,plus im omni so its not strange to me lol
@@wkhristafer Says the man that isn't showing his face.
@@GoddesSilverRose my face is in my videos
Biological children is a perfectly logical reason. That shouldn't even be shitty. People have ended relationships because they couldn't have children
@Zero Zero So you would do a trans woman with a vagina then. I don't see what's wrong with it lol.
@@inmyflopera729 trans women don't have a vagina
@@cmill4080 I'm pretty sure surgery exists
@@inmyflopera729 its all cosmetic, its pretend. You can take your sexual organ, chop it up, flip it inside out, and call it a vagina. But youll never get a period, have a baby, get cervical cancer, have a cramp, have vaginal discharge, release an egg, etc.
@@cmill4080 I don't see why you would care that much about periods, eggs or about cervical cancer?..... If you're not trying for a biological kid, those things don't matter. You're kind of rubbing me the wrong way rn. What're you trying to say?
"No one has to like you", that is what I was told. Maybe its just me, but I accept it.
FACTS !!!!!
No means no, it doesn't really matter why someone says no. Theres lots of fish in the sea and you just need to find someone who says yes to you. Having sex/physical touch/a relationship with someone who is uncomfortable or not fully consenting is really really not ok.
I honestly feel so cheated and annoyed with myself I use to watch Balir I agreed with some of her views how she presented it seems so logical and well articulated but I just slowly realized she was just putting down her community and putting herself on a pedestal like I'm not your typical trans girl. Listening to you explain well sometimes it can be transphobic honestly rings more true than saying ofc it's not transphobic.
This is exactly how I feel. I would just coble up her content, just blindly trusting. Now knowing how much of the articles she leaves out of her videos... I feel bad for watching someone so painfully biased
@@shellyg824 ikr she really has some issues I can't believe the language she used as well speaking as I'd tgey Arnett human and hurting her identity. Theybare just people what is the issue
@Brett Wagland yes. She gets irritated with transtrenders, which obviously includes 'non binaries' because for them no effort has to be made. They just say 'Oh I'm nb, ' or 'Oh I'm trans.' Thats it. No hormones, no attempt to integrate as the tatget gender, nothing. It's a meaningless statement. Someone with real gender dysphoria, who has had to face the challenges that Blaire has, is unlikely to be sympathetic to someone for whom 'being trans' is just a matter of saying so, because it's fashionable. As am I.
this is yet another case of blaire white refusing to do her research... she never learns
her head's too full of her ego to retain anything else
Nah she just doesn’t need to. Her audience by and large listens to whatever she says and applauds her regardless of the fact that she’s lying through her teeth. They aren’t interested in a factual account of trans issues. They’re interested in having their own ignorant thoughts blasted back at them. She’s giving her audience what they want.
People shouldn’t have to explain why they wouldn’t or would date someone even if their reasons upset you.
@Heksje Lilly No one should be pressured into explaining why they wouldn’t want to to peruse a relationship with someone regardless of their reasoning or beliefs. If they happen to get hurt by the rejection they need to deal with those feelings themselves 🤷🏽♀️
@@TheKhaoticKitty agreed
Yea its just like, you like things and dislike other things and thats mostly uniqeu for everyone, the end. And if you dont want to date a trans becaus you read on the internet that trans peaple are no good or something. Then you're just dumb and dont think for yourself, right?
for whatever reason if a person terminates a relationship, or not even initiate it, can do so without being labeled as whatever-phobic. Dating is personal businesses, not a civil encounter. Liking certain aspects doesn’t mean hatred for other aspects
Watch the video
Nobody is obligated to date you 🤦🏻♀️
People don’t even have to ‘justify’ why they don’t want to date you!!
This is just pathetic!!
Legally, you're correct. Nobody can be forced into a relationship with people. We're talking about ethics here though, not legality. The fact is, a person can turn a person down for a bigoted reason, regardless of whether they have a right to do so or no.
@@technoloverish that’s your assumption as to why one person is turning down the other. You don’t know the exact reason.
There are plenty of reasons for a person to turn down someone. It could be any of those 100s of reasons.
@@user-mi8xf8tq1z
Yes, though the point here is that lot of people who turn down transgender woman do it because they think transgender women are faking their gender. That's when it becomes bigoted. Did you watch the full video?
@@technoloverish dating is a personal preference.
Your sexuality is something that you are born with. So why would you want to force someone else?
For example, a heterosexual man, will always be attracted to a woman. Most than 80 % of trans women won’t get bottom surgery due to the complications involved. So why would a heterosexual man date them? Gay men, sure.
Similarly if a woman is lesbian, then she will never be attracted to a trans woman, who hasn’t had bottom surgery. It’s just sexual preference. Simple.
@@user-mi8xf8tq1z
Yes, that's a genital preference. Samantha mentioned that in this video. If person just isn't into certain genitals, nothing is wrong with that
Reminder: Dude is a gender neutral term. We're all dudes.
Source: Ed from goodburger
👏 yes
Excatly everyone a dude quote for goodburger movie
Hahaha
I'm a dude
He's a dude
She's a dude
We're all dudes
Hey!
Playing devils advocate and this really does not matter in the slightest to me but we must remeber who was behind good burger
Not dating people of my sex doesn't make me homophobic. Same story with trans people
Very true.
Yeah, but that's because you literally have no attraction to people who present as your gender. When we talk about being transphobic, we're not talking about people who are naturally not attracted to people who happen to be transgender. We're talking about people who ARE attracted to people who happen to be transgender but then claim not to be attracted once they know the person is transgender. In that situation, the only thing stopping them from being with the person is the fact that they're transgender, not that they don't have any attraction to the person.
@@technoloverish you just dont understand that some people want to date women and not men that want to be women lol
@@samuelvillaflor5613
I'm not talking about men who want to be women. I'm talking about women who are transgender. Transgender women are women and the medical consensus is that trans people are valid. I'm guessing you like in a religious country or something, since you seem not to be aware of the existence of transgender people.
H Fan, I’ve listened to you babble throughout these threads. Let’s close this down already… Hetero Males are sexually attracted to FEMALES! Trans Women are not FEMALES, so if a Straight male finds out the woman he’s dating is not a FEMALE, it’s not transphobic to him no longer be attracted to her. Period.
When you were talking about being able to have biological kids possibly being a valid reason and how they would treat a cis-gender in a similar situation, it’s crazy because it’s something as a cis gendered woman I’ve struggled with. I might not be able to have kids due to a disorder I have (PCOS) and it’s caused potential relationships not to work. Which I mean, totally fine with me because they weren’t worth my time. So I guess it’s probably not transphobic? People just have different priorities.
I'd have to watch the video again but I'm pretty sure she revisited that and basically said:
Definitely not trans phobic just basically a shit person in general.
@@jakeand9020 she was implying it isn’t a valid reason throughout the video and is obviously butt hurt
I agree with you on a certain level. However, I don't agree that you face the same level of harm as transwomen. Although you have a disfunction, ciswomen aren't expected to tell the men that they date that they aren't able to pursue biological children in the first date. But for transwomen, even in the same obvious situation, they are expected to disclose them being trans in the first date because however people claim that it's only about wanting biological children, we all know that there is inherent transphobia involved as well.
@3:00. No, you should tell them. It’s reasonable for people to assume you’re a cis woman. You wouldn’t want a married man portraying himself as single and saying “hey, you never asked” after he sleeps with you 🤦🏽
How is that the same? What are the dangers of dating someone who is like Samantha?
@@lleah2839 you can’t be serious. imagine if someone went on a date(s) with samantha for her only to find out later that he’s gay and only dates dudes. she’d probably be upset. saves the both of you some time.
@@cherrywavez2221 what? Lmao huh?
She doesn't have to? as long as shes not having a romantic or sexual thing with them, she doesn't have to tell anyone
@@lleah2839 🤦🏻♀️
“Wanting to have children” is the farthest thing from shallow, fyi.
Definitely not shallow in my opinion.
It's not shallow by itself, but it's shallow if you think they must be your biological children, and that you can't have them through surrogacy or anything like that.
@@technoloverish no shut up I get to decide how I have my children not you
H Fan again, desiring biological children isnt selfish.
@@technoloverish Wtf, if I want my children to look like and resemble me and the person I love, that's not shallow. That's important for some people and you have to respect that, do better please!
I'm heterosexual, yet I don't find any problem with being attracted to a trans woman. Aside from anything, attraction is about two souls coming together ❤
You aren't heterosexual if you're attracted to someone you know is a woman pretending to be a man.
Couldnt agree more 💕 lovely to see people just being honest and positive 😊
I second that!
@@ebogar42 aren't you so edgy.
@@ebogar42 you don't even make sense lol
I absolutely support trans women/men but seeing a man's body part makes me uncomfortable. If it's considered transphobic i'd suck it up in the future but i'd never be able to be in a sexual relationship
Nah. Genital preferences are valid and only the really deep reaching activists are trying to abolish this. You don't owe anyone a sex or relationship or vice versa as well, you can support people you don't plan to date. It's when people go deep specifically to make digs at 'reality' of trans men/women being 'not real' when things definitely take a turn, in my opinion. Also... Suck it up? Was that pun intended. 🤣
Straight up I'm going to scream *NO*. Personal preferences are exactly that - nothing to do with outright discrimination. Heck, where could it end, if I buy a bottle of coke, a pepsi vendor screams discrimination??
If someone doesn't want to date ME, am I being "discriminated" against??
"Personal preferences" can be harmful boo.
@@Danielle.H it can be hurtful, but someone shouldn’t be forced to be with someone they don’t want to be with.
Danielle Hart someone else disagreeing with your preference doesn’t mean your preference is harmful.
@@Danielle.H There is a BIG difference between 'discrimination' (you can't do this job because you're a woman / black / gay etc nonsense - which USED TO be a *big* issue (and STILL IS an issue sometimes)), and starting to push extremes on people (which is only going to HURT "us" in the long run). Samantha should be able to work, shop, whatever - WITHOUT DISCRIMINATION. As should I, and you, and everyone else. (Sadly, I don't think the world is quite there yet). But to push the narrative "if you don't date me you're DISCRIMINATING" against Trans is just ludicrous, and ultimately damaging to our cause. Bloody hell, if I don't hook up with the Taliban am I going to be accused of "discrimination" against terrorists?? If I don't actively participate in some religious cult am I discriminating against them? Sorry, but I think pushing this line is going too far - it's not about equality, but ego - e.g. if you're not my friend doing my bidding you're a biggot. NO.
@@Danielle.H Then you are too soft and thats your problem.
"If you're attracted before you know, you should be attracted to us after you know."
I disagree depending on the situation. Someone can be attracted to me before knowing I've still got the genitals I was born with. If genitals are a big deal for them, this can mean they're no longer be attracted to me to the point where they want to have sex with me or want to date me. It doesn't quite fit what you say in the beginning of your video when it comes to genitals. I guess you mean this from the point of view where someone would be judgemental (in which case I agree); but genital attraction is a big deal for some people. Someone can not have a problem with a trans woman being a trans woman yet still have no interest in sleeping with her upon finding out that she is a transgender woman who still happens to have her penis because they're simply not into that. And even if someone has had their bottom surgery, some people still wouldn't date trans people because it doesn't quite function like cis genitals. Trans women don't get wet themselves (as far as I'm concerned) and trans men we don't get hard automatically and we don't ejaculate. For someone people that's important to their sex life and depending on how important they may not settle for someone who can't provide that (just like how a man who absolutely loves big boobs might not want to date a girl with smaller boobs).
There are a lot of trans people online saying that people are transphobic for not wanting to date them no matter what the reason is, I'm guessing this is what Blaire means. I personally wonder why those people are so obsessed with it. If someone doesn't want to date me because they consider me a woman; I wouldn't want to date them anyway. Neither do I wanna date someone who isn't attracted to me or uncomfortable with my genitals.
There's someone out there for everyone and although I can totally understand the worry of dating as a transperson (I've been there); there are so many people out there who don't care and will accept you and love you for who you are that those who don't for no matter the reason don't really matter anyway (even if the experiences you have with them suck).
Its shocking really, because as humans in relationships, we change how we feel about things all the time once the facts change.
I've once been close to a person who i was attracted to and I even knew the person was trans, but then I found out some other personal information about our differences in how to get intimate and what is considered intimate(best way to describe they had some weird kinks) i stopped wanting to see this person. Am I in the wrong because I liked them before I knew this so I should still like them now?
The interesting part to me is when it comes to genital attractions, its almost like people forget how vicious the arguments on Cut vs Uncut are or what a woman's curves look like or heck, how she looks once she spreads it open. I've heard plenty of people say they wouldn't date someone who's uncut or a girl who doesn't shave or if her privates aren't playboy worthy.
I'm guilty of not being all that attracted to post op genitals, but I also have only ever seen pictures online and have only dated pre op people.
I too see the large amounts of people who advocate for cis or straight people to be more inclusive of trans and non binary. But at the same time talk about how they hate straight cis people.
I personally don't know what my sexuality is called anymore. I used to be Bi cause men and woman, then I was called Pansexual because I liked trans people aswell. But now I've been told its transphobic to use Pan nowadays.
I also grew up a tomboy, but now Ive been told I'm a phobic for using that and its called nonbinary..
Its easy to believe a group of people wouldn't want to date another group when people who are actually interested or even apart of it get confused and mixed signals everyday
@@armanfrold2559 There’s a lot of reasons you may not want to be with someone. I could find out someone has a kid on the second date and call it quits; I’m 22 and not up for that. Trans is just another factor in that and unless it comes from a truly transphobic or severely uneducated place; it’s not transphobic to not want to date a trans person.
There's a difference between having an attraction and having a relationship. She stated in the video that she understands having a genital preference, so I feel like she was still applying that to the "If you're attracted before you know, you should be attracted to us after you know." statement. It's understandable to not want to be with someone because of a genital preference, but that shouldn't change the fact you are physically and/or emotionally attracted to someone. At least that's how I saw it.
@@Izzy_jam Potentially. It kinda just depends on how off-putting certain genitals are for someone. I was mainly talking psychically. It's just an odd thing; I can think your face is attractive but not deem your body attractive. I could deem everything but your genitals attractive. But in the general sense, when you say you're attracted to someone sexually, it equals being open to sleeping with them. So in that sense, I can understand someone saying "I'm no longer attracted to you" after finding out about genitals. For some people, it's a whole picture kind of thing and knowing there's something in someones pants that they consider incredibly unattractive could potentially take away the entire attraction. It's of course a whole different story if someone is suddenly no longer attracted to a transperson because they're 'disgusted' due to transphobic views etc. I think that was what Samantha was talking about.
@@armanfrold2559 Yeah I couldn't keep up with the constant changing and new labels and crap, I gave up and just stick with what I think I know with what I've read seen and heard and know I've been called plenty of things because of it. You literally have to dedicate time to figure it out and even then it's full of contradictions. The article even mentions they added 37 gender options to the app. What? It's insane to expect the average person to understand that. At this point I don't think I could date someone who was part of the LGBTQ+ and heavily involved, simply because I wouldn't be able to keep up with everything, I wouldn't fit the culture.
I ended up in this discussion on Facebook a couple of days ago and made the argument about genital preferences and was pretty much attacked for just the suggestion it could be an issue. You can definitely be attracted to a trans person but if what's down below isn't your thing then that's a perfectly valid reason.
tolerant lgtbq+
your low quality facebook group doesn't represent whole community
@@randaltichy6570 It kinda does I find it everywhere
Especially since the same argument also stands with trans people themselves: unless they’re bi or pan, they also wouldn’t want to date someone whose genitalia they aren’t into.
I don’t understand why people aren’t allowed to have opinions now. It’s ridiculous.
thank you for this. been attacked as a lesbian for not wanting to date a trans woman bc of genital preference. i've gotten rape threats, death threats, etc. and it's insane.
I agree with almost everything you say, except for calling it shallow for not dating someone because you can't have kids with them. There are other ways to make it happen, yes, but they're often far more expensive, a lengthy process, and just plain not for everyone. I don't think its shallow, even if it may not be a reason why I personally would leave someone.
Also- I'm a cisgender woman and I know I'm going to have fertility issues because of my health. I say that early on in the relationship and if someone didn't want to be with me because of it, I'd understand.
So I guess I think its a valid reason to not date someone, but a poor reason to leave someone you've committed to.
I agree with you .
@@meenakshihemanth498 thank you!
that was a weird thing to say. some pople really want children. Personally I wouldn't like it if I was dating someone who couldn't have children and they didn't disclose that early on
@@Line... it would feel like a betrayal, for sure, but if you can get past that, and I know that's a big IF, there are options.
I'd like to think that I would explore those options, but like OP said, they are expensive and lengthy. In reality, I don't know if I would have the fortitude to endure such lengthy processes
@@Line... It is YOUR responsibility to disclose that you want children, not the other way around. How would you feel if someone didn't want to date you or left you for something out of your control? Pretty sure most of you would vilify them in that case. It is in your control to make that choice and you are privileged to be able to have that opinion. Expecting people to disclose their health status that isn't potentially harmful to you is ableist at best. Plus, it's not like everyone knows they can't have kids. It's incredibly selfish.
this whole comment section is simping for samantha and i'm no different
the lip and the scrunchie colour matching is such a LOOK and i don't know much about make-up stuff but the nude?? brown??? palette really works so well on her i'm in awe
(also would love it if blaire white could learn to apply critical thought)
I really like the color of that scrunchie
And if she could learn to apply makeup. For someone so critical of how other trans women and femmes look her makeup is no match for Samantha Lux’s skills
Why don't trans people just date other trans people?
Then there are more cis than trans people though. if you do this reasoning then shouldn't you tell others to date with if you disagree with this logic? you are very inconsistent. because if you think that cis people have to date with whoever they want then why can't a cis person be interested in a trans person? there are some cis men or women who date trans people though. with the speech you make you do nothing but stigmatize trans people being a minority.
Love is beautiful that it is cis, trans. there some trans people dating other trans people. your reasoning ,only makes trans people even more stigmatized or excluded regardless.then trans people they are 1 % of the population
This a good question. Would Sam accept a trans man that has not fully transitioned or even if he has?
Because there is no validation in that, many trans won't date bi or pan people, they want straight for validation purposes
@@amelyakoler8934 That's copout and you know it. They have trans spaces that trans people like to hang out in, they go to pride events every year, they chat online, they tend to have copious amounts of trans people as friends when most people worldwide have never even met a single trans person, so why won't those trans people date the other trans people in their inner circles?
My mum broke up with her ex of 6 years because he didn’t want kids hence she got with my dad and boom me. Kids are a big part of looking for a serious relationship it is in human DNA to reproduce and extend the species.
I agree. We can talk and we have a conscious but humans are just animals
Agreed. The point she is making though is how denying attraction towards transgender people is transphobic. Dating and attraction are both separate with the former being a more complicated thing. Dating comes with choices so the thought of a preference isn't transphobic in nature. It's okay to exclude transgender people from one's dating pool when one prioritizes having biological children.
Plenty of couples have serious relationships without ever having kids and there's nothing wrong with that even since not everyone wants to have kids.
@Shafique XO Plenty of couples without kids are also a natural relationship and often kids don't help their parents stay together. Not every couple wants kids and that's ok.
@Shafique XO I'm not sure if you know this or not or if you're just ignorant, having kids isn't what everybody wants and there's nothing wrong with that however you seem to have a problem accepting that it's also natural for couples/people to be childfree.
It’s not transphobic everyone has their preference
THANK U
Yep. A lot of people think it is. It’s always “Trans women are still women” and “Trans men are still men” like I have no problem with that 😐
yup
finally someone agrees. we call people transphobic for not dating trans people, does that make gay men mysoginistic? does that make lesbians anti-man? like dude
@@preston5020 FR thank u like people need to understand this people are so sensitive now are days like anything u say is just taken the wrong way
I’m trans, but not out. I’m used to being alone, so I wouldn’t be surprised when someone rejects me when I am out.
You deserve happiness
Will you be surprised when you are accepted ? Just curious... one thing you can count on, is there are many spaces here on the web that will fully embrace you, if you ever do come out. In fact, they will celebrate with you the triumph of being authentically you. I hope you feel safe and ready one day to come out... And I hope you have a community you feel well support you 100% !!! You're valid af.
How do you know you're trans? What makes you think you're male or female without using social constructs or gender norms?
@@ebogar42, stop. Please. Ask this question to someone who is out and willing to go toe to toe. I know what you're about to try and do. It's wrong. It's harmful. Not constructive. Want to ask that question to someone? Ask me. I'm a trans man. I'm open about it. And I love a good debate. Go to my channel and ask me there, if you want. I will answer honestly and listen to your responses, so long as you do not resort to abusive language or tactics.
@@ebogar42 I don’t expect you to respond, but that’s okay. This is as much for my own edification. You can do a lot of harm by mocking people’s identity. I used to be close minded, too. You can grow out of that.
The way that I know “I’m” trans is dysphoria (For simplicity, I’ll ignore the dissociation I have with these feelings in this discussion and assume that I don’t have multiple personalities).
I’m fine with questions. I’ve been questioning myself over and over for a few years now, trying to figure out what is going on in my head. I do use social constructs to determine where I line up on gender. I felt wrong being a guy for most of my life, but I didn’t have the vocabulary to understand it until recently. It’s certainly possible I’m wrong about being trans. That’s why I’ve been debating this in my mind for three years. It’s not something I take lightly.
Is there anything you would like me to expound on more?
Everyone has the right to date who ever they want!! It’s not all about you!!
Yet you probably don't think gay people should able to have a relationship
For the point that you want biological children and that you won't quit girlfriend if you were with already with here, I think that there is a big difference between the two cases because if you're already with her, you're already love her but if not, it's understable that you don't want to emotionnaly attach you with her if you already know she can't have biological children. Good video and topic ! (sorry if I made english mistakes, I'm not)
Yes! That’s the thing, they are just not up for dating a trans person because they don’t want to deal with the issue that they are guaranteed to deal with when it comes to kids.
Good English mate
You should definitely disclose you are trans. Relationship or ONS.
It kinda baffles me that she doesn't realize it's also for her own safety. Some guys can appear to be nice while actually being raging transphobes, and they could get violent if they find out she is trans after they slept together.
@@Eris_Norregard well tell them before meeting up with them then
@@yuanyuansun3521 that’s not our responsibility nor has to be the goal. That’s adding unnecessary labor.
If it never comes up in conversation that you might be trans then I think you did something right.
@@taytmw18 I agree. But that shouldn't be a green light to be deceiving. Even if it is just for a hook-up...that is very messed up in my opinion -- let alone potentially dangerous.
I feel like half the people commenting on this didn’t actually watch it lol
Exactly lmao I love Blaire.
@@River_blaze um... why?
@@chloe-qs7ue because she doesnt kiss just anyone's ass and just runs with the latest trend nor does she try to be relevant all time. Sure she can be in the wrong sometimes ,but who isnt?She calls out the bs that others are too afraid to do or are blind to. I respect her for at least doing that. I love samantha as well. Both girls bring some good points on different things.
@@River_blaze she isn’t wrong sometimes, she has a history of poorly researched videos
@@desihayward2510
What's an example of one?
Just a quick note: Blaire has said that she sometimes messes up people's pronouns accidentally. In her video about Demi Lovato she said she knew she was going to mess up so she referred to Demi as Demi instead of using pronouns. Sometimes people slip up and use the wrong pronouns, I don't think she meant to mis gender them. Not trying to hate, just pointing that out.
Some people act like "misgendering" someone is equivalent to literally stabbing someone these days 🙄
@@jamesv337for people with dysphoria, yeah. Probably.
Unpopular opinion: personal preference and consent exist for a good reason
People can reject whoever they are not attracted to
Honestly this makes me feel better cause I have a genital preference, and people have told me im transphobic for it.. so thank you
preference isn't a phobia, so dont worry about it.
Same
My gay friend suddenly dmed me asking if not dating a transmale is transphobic, specifically thos who didnt undergo bottom surgery (he prefers male genetalia)
I ddnt really know what to say because Im just a bi cis girl but god, this video cleared up so much
I would say that i do have a genital preference (anyone with genitals associated with the male sex/amab people) but i wouldn't mind sexually pleasing someone else and i have been attracted to people outside my comfort zone
People don’t understand that you can be romantically attracted to someone without being sexually attracted to them. I don’t have a genitalia preference or a gender preference, but I am on the ace spectrum and there are a few people I’ve liked but didn’t want to have sex with.
It’s possible to like a trans person but not want to have sex with them. I’m not trans so I can’t speak on this, but it doesn’t make sense if they already have bottom surgery. I mean, it’s not like a trans woman with bottom surgery has her penis anymore but if you say “yeah but she DID” seems transphobic because you don’t see them as a “real woman”, you see them as “men” and that isn’t cool to me.
@@Trollestiatumblur
For me that's what I would call a friend. Someone I care for and like, but am not sexually interested in. I guess there are a few differences, probably wouldn't ever plan on having kids with a friend. But then again, not sure I want kids with a romantic partner either 🤷♂️
"If you are attracted to us before you know, then you should still be attracted to us after you know"
That's not necessarily true. Some people may find someone attractive superficially, but that's not the only thing to take into consideration.
Maybe the idea of transition itself is unattractive to some people.
Or they may be attracted because they think they’re cis, and not only being lied to, but finding you’ve dated someone you thought was in line with your sexuality and finding out it isn’t, would be so violating. It’s not consensual, especially if there was sex involved. Its like a blind straight man getting down and dirty with a gay guy doing a girl voice without his knowledge. It’s violating and its wrong, its not transphobic to have a straight sexuality.
This is the equivalent of saying a gay man is a misogynist for not wanting to date women
I literally thought the same thing. Or like saying that someone is racist because they’re only attracted to their own race.
You don't need a "reason" or an "excuse" to not date someone. Consent matters, and no means no.
Blaire doesn't seem transphobic to me. She is just critical of some issues/rhetoric.
Trans women/issues are just as open to criticism as everyone else.
Yes not all people have the same opinion
lmao she is transphobic
@@bee5682
How is Blaire transphobic?
@@bee5682 explain pls, how is she transphobic?
@@CherryBlossom-lc3mj
disagreeing with any of the doctrines of transgenderism renders you a bigoted gender heretic
I noticed that Blaire does that normal Trumpster thing where they don’t learn or even try to learn someone’s name, specifically someone of a minority group. It’s truly not that hard to just look up pronunciations if you don’t know(of course not towards those who have difficulty in general pronouncing words cause I totally get that, my tongue just doesn’t do so swell sometimes.)
agreed thankfully she's p3ople.
I mean Blair is the only trans TH-camr who I can find who is conservative, that's another reason why I admire her because most trans people who are conservative and any conservative at this point does get back lashed for their political views when in reality we can all be friends outside of our political views, I don't know why that's hard for some liberals to understand.
@@sindelscat9336 I don’t know if you thought I was rooting for Blaire because I’m not, I really do not like her, as a trans and nonbinary person myself. Let me first explain my comment better. I despise when Republicans or Conservatives mispronounce a minority person’s name wrong on purpose continuously because I feel that’s a way to dehumanize a person, to make fun of a person, and just tear a person down. For privileged cishet white people in power to disregard a person’s name and mock their name is disgusting. As for why I dislike Conservatives deeply is due to the fact that their opinions, a lot of the time, go against the human rights and life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness of others. Conservatives largely agree with racist, LGBTQ+phobic, sexist, xenophobic, and other such oppressive ideas all the time. These are not opinions, the denial of a humans right to exist is not an opinion, you’re just a shitty and terrible human being. As for Blaire, she’s transphobic even though she’s trans. She denies the existence of trans people’s experiences who don’t align with her own. She’s especially nonbinary-phobic which fucking sucks because I am nonbinary. It hurts to see people with those “opinions,” especially someone in my own community, and to also deny I exist and think I shouldn’t exist. Yes, I believe we should all come together and be respectful no matter our political opinions, but political opinions are whether our taxes should go to social security or education, not whether someone should exist or not. If you enjoy Blaire White and agree with her ideas and opinions, you’re transphobic. If you want to find out more why she’s transphobic and a liar, watch this video this comment is under and some other videos by Samantha Lux on Blaire as well as Sam Collins(another transgender youtuber) and DAngeloWallace(a cisgender youtuber, but trans ally) who both also made videos on her.
@Bill schultzy I was aware that you weren't rooting for blair but you didn't have to make a whole novel of a comment, if you don't like her then I don't mind infact I'm actually open to your opinion about her. I personally don't like when liberals/Democrats have so much venom in their sentences when they do indeed find out someone is conservative/Republican, it doesn't really make you look good at all, and I don't mispronounce a trans person unless they look different or if I misread they're reply from time to time, which are accidents, I don't dehumanize a trans person unless they do it to me first, I don't make fun of trans people, but I am immediately called transphobic after answering no to there question "would you date someone who is trans". Honey the cis white male thing doesn't have an effect on me at all. I don't dislike liberals nor did I ask for your opinion on conservatives plus atleast conservatives are far more open to opinions and actually don't side with sjw's, femininazis, black supremacists, and terrorist organizations, also we don't dislike the lgbt community, infact we actually care about them more than the liberal party who infact only uses them to show accepting they are when really they're just attention seeking, conservatives don't agree with racists unless you're talking about the far right, not only that but the conservative party has proven to be more accepting to anyone who wants to join, it's just that liberals tend to go after the people who have less of awareness and feed lies about the other party to get them to their side, however this reply you left me has shown me what kind of person you are, I suggest you try to be more accepting of people with different opinions than you, and actually talk to people who do have different opinions than you, who knows you might have a different view of life. I also like to point out that saying that I'm transphobic because I agree with some of the points that Blair makes in some of her videos is actually a very very shallow point of view, and it really just makes me sad to see such an insane person like you on this platform, this is what the liberals do to people like you they just feed you lies and then they'll throw you away once they're done with you. Sam's video may be okay but it has flaws in it, and honestly I checked out the other guys videos, they didn't really prove anything plus calling Blair names is not going to make your argument more valid honey and that's just sad.
People have their own preferences so it’s not transphobic.
EXACTLY why is it wrong to be attracted to someone ur attracted to this society is so problematic
yes you can have a preferences like genitals but misgendering and being rude is a different story-
AS LONG AS their not clearly misgendering them such as saying "I dont want to date someone who's a boy" even though they go by she/her, it's fine by me. Genital preferences are completely valid.
As long as ur not just dumping them bc of being trans. If ur saying “hey I’m not sexually/romantically attracted to you.” That’s fine. If you dis em because of being trans that’s transphobic
@Thomas Mcintyre If you misgender and disrespect them, it becomes a problem. Not wanting to date them because you aren't attracted to them or the genitals they possess is fine, so long as it's done respectfully