What’s the Funniest Thing Your Parents Have Ever Said?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ก.ค. 2023
- ▶ Want to watch more amazing Reddit stories? Check out our playlist! • Uploads from Updoot St...
▶ Fresh AskReddit Stories: What’s the Funniest Thing Your Parents Have Ever Said? 🔥 2nd channel with exclusive Reddit stories!
/ @updooteverything
Join Our Discord: / discord - บันเทิง
![NONT TANONT - ดอกไม้ที่รอฝน (spring) - Reimagined [Live Session]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nY2PsFZFEOg/mqdefault.jpg)
My dad took me to a hockey game and there were kids who were berating the mascot and saying that he wasn't a real bird. My dad leaned over and whispered into my ear the greatest line I've ever heard: "of course he's real he's standing right there for fucks sake."
I thought this was amazing given that my dad never swears infront of me.
My dad is generally hilarious. It's not so much what he says. It's the childly joy with which he says those things when we're goofing off again.
My dad was putting a frozen pizza in the oven. The package proclaimed it to have "the freshest vegetables". Dad said "I don't know, I prefer my pizza with cooked vegetables". None of us got it for a second.
Once a cat was meowing on the street in front of my house, then just screamed... Suddenly my mom said "sounds like a finger entered where is not supposed to". Needless to say, I hysterically laughed for a good fifteen minutes 😂.
Not my parents but my Grandpa. I was in Galapagos on a week-long vacation on a small, 100-passenger cruise ship. One day on the trip, we got to go to one of the towns in Galapagos that had several small shops, cafes, and convenience stores. My dad bought a hat that had the islands stitched on the side. Back on the ship at dinner, my grandpa asks to see my dad's hat and says "What'd you do to it?" pointing at the islands stitched on the hat. Man I love him, but he is getting too old for these types of trips(He's 92, but still going strong!).
My mom was arguing with me and my brother about Texas being BEFORE California…she said “No!! Texas is farther than California” my mom didn’t believe us until we showed a map. This woman has lived in both states
"My magical butthole put the corn back together." That's what had me dying of laughter
That while in motion in the car, flatulence became liquid so if we farted we’d basically poop our pants. It wasn’t funny then, but when I was old enough to figure it out, I laughed my @$$ off!
My mom doesn't take medicine but hurt her back really bad, so she took a muscle relaxant and freaked out. So high as he'll she crawled out and said I thought I was being poisoned so I tried to throw up but when I put my finger down my throat I peed my pants and figured that would do.
Racoon road kill made me giggle
I’ve two. Me, mum and dad went to buy chickens. They didn’t have any as they were waiting for a delivery from the main farm but we could look around and see what, I’d any breeds we’d like. So I went with my dad, mum went another way. About a minute later my dad turns, and I’ll never forget this smile. It was pure cheeky joy and he says to me “trust your mum to come early”. I paused for a second before fucking losing it as my mum is yelling at him in the background as she’d heard. The other was my mum to an ex, I was up stairs using the loo. But a horse program was on. And they were showing how to hobble a horse. Easier to look up. But mum turns to my now ex and meant to say “I know how to hobble a horse” but some how confused it and said “I knob horses”. My ex yelled for me and I’m just unable to breath laughing as mum keeps digging a hole for herself. Even adding “I know how horses knob! But I don’t do it!”
One day me and my dad were out back on their deck just standing around bs'ing. Right in the middle of him telling me this story about something, he rips a really loud one. Without hesitation, he quickly turns his head around, looks back and says "Shut up", then like nothing happened goes back to telling the story.
While I was on the ground howling and lacking oxygen, my dad just looks at me, and says "Well.... I was trying to tell you a story but some a**hole interrupted me.
Needless to say, I had to return the underwear I was wearing to Walmart and get my money back.
I'm now imagining a child having a conversation followed by a singalong of a dance song and the dad sleep dancing in a horizontal position 🤣
My Grandpa (80ish) was going dead beyond the help of hearing aids back in the 90's. He was at a tractor show with my dad (60ish) who is hard to embarrass. Grandpa, out of the blue states VERY loudly, " there sure are a lot of grea$ers here today." I never heard any racism from him so I can't even imagine.... 😅
my grandmother had a great sense of humour, for context her and my grandfather were going to share a grave him 12ft down her 6ft, she was on her death bed and she said " well at least i will be on top this time." i miss that woman.
My grandma dank alcohol for the first time since like 1990 and we got on the topic of the future and such and she said "I hope he dies first. I do not wanna be under his fat ass." My grandpa was not overweight or anything just built like a lumberjack and she's barley 5 foot. Poor grandpa spit out his beer and my dad just turned beet red and yelled "MOM!" in the most disgusted tone. I died laughing.
Before I married my first wife her dad helped me take my bike to the gas station to get air in the tire. I was broke at the time. He put some quarters in the machine and started airing the tire. He pushed on it after a moment.
It's getting hard. Wish I could.
If your dad falls asleep at a monster truck rally he’s probably on some pretty hard drugs.
My cousin and I took her 4yr old to one because he loved cars and such. I knew someone so was asleep to get front row. He slept through the entire thing!
Unless their dad is very old.
Old people seem to have the insane ability to fall asleep just about anywhere.
Just like babies and toddlers.
I was going to move into college. Emotions were high, I was scared and nervous. Mom and I got stuck in traffic and out of nowhere she says totally deadpan "well um...That cloud is happy isn't it?" I was so confused until she pointed at the sky and there was a cloud that looked like a penis. Like the most perfect looking penis cloud balls and everything. We both laughed so hard. Second funniest was my mom making fun of "Kum and Go" which is a gas station with an unfortunate name.
There's a local chain of adult stores called Condoms To Go. My dad used to joke, "Well, obviously. You wouldn't want people to use them right there in the store!" Now that he's gone we refer to that as my dad's store. 😊
I wish this video was Longer
My Dad and I were driving home late evening, we were approaching the area where an interstate was being built with a overpass and exits that was about half built. As we traveled through/beneath it slowly being freed from the backed up traffic he says "I just don't understand how one man can do all this."
😅
???
This just happened. My dad was talking about some ability that he possesses (can’t remember what he really was talking about) so he said this ability, while my mom replied ya, you definitely have disability.
Answer spam calls with hello,Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic where yesterday's lose is today's sauce. How may I help you?
Bruh
This is literally a re upload of another video
Yeah, unfortunately this channel does that sometimes.
A lot of misogyny and racism. "Ooh, objectifying women and calling people slurs"- I fail to see anything funny about either of those.
True, true.
Can someone explain 3:39