Hey Jen - I’m not a mom, but don’t feel guilty. I can tell you have done SO much for your family. Ben is there helping you and taking time to spend those moments with Aria that are precious. It’s those daddy/daughter moments that are so special to him while you are getting some rest and taking care of you and your new baby boy soon to be born. YES! Be kinder to yourself! You and Ben are strong and give your best to your children. My prayers to all four of you and I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and that your baby boy is healthy!
oh jen! of all the youtubers out there .. i relate to you the most. as a korean american working mom of two toddlers .. the mommy guilt is absolutely real!! i had no idea that being a mom would be this difficult .. because like you said .. the images and videos you see online gives you the impression that that’s what we need to aspire to. growing up with strong working immigrant parents .. we saw the blood sweat and tears that our parents put in to give all of us a better life. but raising us never seemed as difficult as i see it now. and i respect them even more so now that i’m a parent myself. becoming a mom made me realize that there’s not enough talk out there about the struggles and the harsh realities of how different it can be. so i really try my best to not sugar coat pregnancy or mommyhood to anyone asking for advice. because in the end we’re all trying our best for our children and families... and in order for our communities to thrive we do need to be empathetic and we do need to listen to each other and support one another. and if someone is having a hard mommy moment .. all they’re searching for is validity .. they just want to know that they’re not the only ones going through the same struggle. thank you for sharing such an important message .. it’s absolutely a passionate subject of mine and i hope that we continue to talk about this. i also hope that you know that you’re such an amazing umma of aria. keeping trucking on and i look forward to seeing the beautiful progress you’re making as you grow into a family of 4 :)
Aaaawwww!!! You're such a great Mom...Aria is so lucky.... Its okay to think about yourself sometimes and I hope Aria will understand as she grows up... Your vulnerability and genuineness have truly touch my heart❣❣i pray that God be with you and your fam throughout the pregnancy journey👼🏻
All moms go through those feelings. Now that my children are grown, and I look back and ask my grown children the questions....did you ever feel neglected, did you ever feel I needed to do more for you..etc. their answers are...NO, MOM! You gave us so much! You are the person who made us who we are today! I wasn't a perfect mom, no one is....my best advice is that all you can do is to do your best, do what you feel is right for your children, be there for them when they need you and take care of yourself. Trust yourself that you are doing your best and what's right. I'm extremely proud of my children and despite my short falls, they turned out amazing! Hang in there!
I'm not a mom, but I definitely have guilt in different aspects of my life. For example, if I study so much for a test and take a break, I feel guilty for taking a break because I feel like I could be working harder. I appreciate how kind and honest you are when you're sharing your experiences with us. Like you said, we're all one huge family! I love and appreciate you so much, Jen!! You're an awesome mom! ❤️
Jen, its really amazing to see how strong you are. not because of all the things you do and produce on the outside but because you are able to look deep within yourself and be honest about who you are. It must have been difficult to share your inner thoughts and struggles on your channel... i think so highly of you for being so brave and courageous. You may feel all the pressures and guilt but being around for Aria 24/7 without looking after yourself isnt actually helpful. Knowing when you can trust others to help you so that you can take care of yourself is also part of maturing and at the same time, we can be grateful for our blessings. You are such a special person..don't ever forget that💗
Your video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I am literally going through this right now. My daughter is 5 and my son is 4 months. When I was pregnant. I didn’t feel like how you’re explaining everything. I naively went into everything thinking it was all butterflies and rainbows. Now that I have both kids. I feel so guilty for not being there for my daughter like i used to. For not recovering fast enough. I compare myself to other moms too and all of this is so hard. You’re right though you have to let all of it go. I feel like I can relate to you on so many levels! My nerves and anxiety totally got the best of me this past week and I got sick. So more mom guilt. Thank you for this video!
You are so right! Trying to be perfect is exhausting and honestly unrealistic, and social media is some sort of cancer, it has to be taken with a grain of salt, and i keep reminding myself that. What i see on instagram - moms having a "great life" or looking so put together when i can't even brush my hair ...It is all an act. We just need to push and enjoy what we have, and live in the moment with our family not someone else's. Thank you for being more realistic, you are a great mom, enjoy your family and don't forget about yourself as well. Getting those couple of hours for yourself mama is really important, if you take care of yourself you'll be able to be the best version of yourself with the little one. xoxo. Happy Mothers day!
Aww....I can relate. You’re not responsible for how other people feel when they see your content. Do what you love. The people who connect with you will be your family. Yes, be gentle with yourself, take care of you. Perfection means driving yourself insane. Because no one is perfect. Love yourself. When you’re mentally, emotionally & physically healthy, then you can pour your joy to your kids. Don’t worry about what or how others do life. Your own life will pass you by if you do. Be present in your own journey of Mommyhood. You won’t always get it right. And that’s ok. Accept it. No one is perfect. You’re an intelligent woman with so much love. Give that love to yourself as Jen 1st. You deserve it. Then it will pour out to your loved ones. ♥️
I always say “grant yourself grace”. Not just as mom, but as a human. No one is perfect. You’re doing great! Thanks for your honesty and openness. Yes, social media can make some people feel bad, but you can’t let it affect your craft. Don’t feel bad about posting the best of your life, you should feel good about those moments. We know that no one’s life is perfect. But we all do the best we can and you’re doing a great job. Thanks for keeping it real in your posts!
You are not alone. I also have an overwhelming amount of mom guilt. I've 2 auto immune diseases, and have had about 6 cancer related surgeries - all while going to school and/or working 2 jobs. But I do it while making time for my son and I never feel like I do enough. If I spend extra time with him then the house work gets neglected. If I spend more time on school work then I feel guilty for taking time away from him, even though this is FOR him. If I treat myself to something - even just lunch or a DVD, I feel terrible for not doing something extra for him. I don't know how to balance it and there are definitely people who think I should do things better. But just the fact that we worry about doing better is what MAKES us good Moms. You will find your voice as a Mom even if it's only after baby #3 lol. We have to believe in ourself, even on the hard days. Sending you love and light
Oh my gosh, your story is so touching! You shouldn't feel ANY mom guilt whatsoever!!! We're all just doing the best we can and should be a source of support & encouragement for each other
Thanks for being real Jen!! I don't have kids but your advice can be applied to many other areas of life and it was just what I needed today!! I feel exactly the same about never being quite where I want to be in life or always thinking I'm not doing enough... But as you said we need to learn to let go and be kind to ourselves!
What I appreciate the most about your channel and its contents is that they are all honest and gentle. You and Ben are all incredible, loving individuals and I think you are a great true beauty "guru" who made me think about the beauty within as much as what is on the outside. I have been and always will be here to support you and your family. Thanks for the heart-to-heart!
Being so honest and open about your insecurities is very admirable. Like you said, we compare ourselves to others but we may not see them through their difficult times. I've been following you for over 7 years - you're a great youtuber, human, wife and mom! I hope you aren't too hard on yourself- just focus on growing that healthy, happy little person inside your tummy!
Aw jen please don’t be guilty!!!! I’ve always love watching your videos because you’re always kind, genuine and you’re an amazing mom. Being around social media is so discouraging sometimes whether you’re single or a mom because thats what they’re displaying; sometimes I feel like they’re not realistic and we don’t know what’s really happening behind the scene; so please trust me when I say we can all relate at some level. But there is no expectation except for what you truly want for you and your family and i feel like that’s what’s
Matters*** I hope you know a lot of us love and support you and being working mom is not easy task so you gotta give yourself more credit :) take a break away if you need to! Your children will grow up so quickly and social media and TH-cam will always be around !
negative thoughts turn into a vicious cycle that affect our behavior and life. These negative thoughts are not always TRUE. Don't think of the worst things possible. Don't blame yourself. Your an amazing mom and person!!! I appreciate ur honesty.
I’m newly pregnant (13 weeks today!) I’m only 21 and watching your videos about how you need to be nice to yourself and not judge yourself as a women really has helped me handle a lot of the thought process of being pregnant. No matter your difficulties and anxieties you are an inspiration.
You are awesome! I get you. I’m there too. When I came from to work was one of the most difficult things I ever done, but I didn’t have a choice. But it’s ok to work, it’s ok to have time for you, it’s ok to be with your daughter and with your baby. I guess the guilt never leaves you, you just don’t feel it as much as you used to. Believe me, you are an excellent mom, and your two children are very blessed because they have you. From one working mom to another, love from Chile.
Hi Jen ! I've been watching your videos here in France for many years now and I just wanted to say that I admire you for sharing with us your personal experience of motherhood so openly. I'm not a mom yet but what you're saying in this video makes me emotional somehow. God bless you and your amazing family ! :)
You are among the most real and relatable. You’re honest and genuine and you don’t apologize for feeling all the things you feel. Which is freeing, because so many of us feel them too. Keep being you. Thanks for sharing your life and vulnerabilities. Inspiring and encouraging doesn’t even begin to describe you. Of all the influencers out there, there needs to be more out there like you, doing and saying real but uplifting things that help pick us all back up.
Every time I need to go to work (I work 6 days per week 8 to 12 hrs) and I have to leave my son at the daycare I feel like crying every single time. I wish I didn't have to work and spend all day with him but I can't do that, and the little time I have with him after work I try my best to show him how much he means to me but sometimes Im just so tired after work I can't even finish reading him a book before I fall sleep. It makes me feel miserable and I can't really talk to anyone about this because they're like "well you wanted to have a baby so..." and that just kills me. I watch your videos during my break time and I've been watching your videos since your pregnancy and your recovery were similar to my experience and helps me to know that there's actually women who go through the same struggle. I just wanted to thank you so much because I feel like you're a friend I can relate to and feel somewhat relieved that I'm not alone. I hope the best for you and your family. ❤️❤️
Ugh MOM GUILT honestly hit me so hard too. It's insane with all the guidelines nowadays! Sending love your way and it's great you created this so that other mom's can relate! ♥︎
That is the answer, Jen. The more of us that are honest about this, the better it is for the rest of us. All of these women who feel the need to project the "perfect" image are not helping the situation at all, and I have actually unsubscribed from a few of them. But someone like you, who is honest, is what we really really need, and it's so much healthier for all of us as well. Thank you dear. I'm 24 weeks pregnant, and I can totally relate because I have a 5-year-old, with a whole different set of needs.
You are so amazing. I started watching your channel when I just finished school. And all these years l’m taking a help from you: starting with how to apply make up, how to struggle to different situations and etc. And now me and my fiance are planning our future: creating a family, having home and kids finally. And I have little nephews and I know how difficult it can be. But i feel that I know only the “top” of what’s going on and it make me so anxious. I”m 100% sure that having kids (especially like you do little kid and pregnancy) demands to be so strong. Moreover a mom get huge pressure from society and all this situation makes me fell super scared and lonely. Thanks to you I know that it’s normal to feel in this way You remind us that mommies are human too and we should be gentle to ourselves. Love you so much, thank you for sharing 🧡
Wow, thanks for sharing this.... I stopped getting on most social media because of the same thing. I would find myself constantly comparing to other glamorous fit moms and beating myself up about if because I didn't feel like I could live up to that expectation.... Even though I know it's unrealistic to look fabulous, be fit, travel, be financially well off, and be emotionally stable 24/7 that's exactly what I wanted to be. I needed time to truly focus on who I am and what is truly important. After weeks of this social media detox, my relationship with myself is improving and I'm becoming a more compassionate caring parent. I spend my time doing things that will benefit me mentally and physically. Because like you said, as long as we are gentle and love ourselves everything else will fall into place.
Hi Jen, I'm not a Mom but I watch yours and other Moms videos on youtube because I love following the lives of some of these amazing women! I think you are doing a wonderful job, and both yours and Bens honesty shines out. Keep being uncompromisingly yourself and don't be swayed by what you see on social media. You're a lovely Mom xx
Jen you have the sense of ‘not doing enough’ already saying you are a good and caring mom. Life is a journey of non stop learning of what each stages teach us. Growing up with no much attention, I still can be a good human. The balance of love in the future between the kids will be another important issue but sure you will do it great
Omg! For the longest I have been feeling the way you are. I’m not pregnant with my second child but I am currently away for professional school. I’m away from my husband and 1 year old baby girl. I feel so guilty for being away. Thank you for talking about your experience and your reminder “be gentle to yourself”.
Babe, you’re literally making human life; That is the biggest and most beautiful task you could ever do. The guilt is because you care so much and your heart is so big and it makes you want so much for your family but you are amazing and supported and loved both by your family and by the online community. If you are up and working 7 days postpartum or it takes you 7 months, take care of your body and your heart because if you don’t you can’t give what you don’t have to those you love. Keep your head up, you’re doing just fine 💕
Jen ...i had the same sentiments, guilt and fear because I had my 2nd son just when my eldest son was 6 months old. But a very valuable lesson I realized was when a friend told me...you dont divide love among your children..It multiplies with another addition to your family. You are giving Aria a precious gift of having a sibling who will love her for the rest of her life. Hang in there...things will get better. and oh...remember..You are enough and you are doing a great job
You have no idea how much I needed this video. I'm a first time single mom. I'm there every day all day but I feel guilty just trying to take time for myself. Thank you so much for sharing!
I love how genuine and real you always are Jen! Please know that you're enough, I respect you and how you share everything so much! You're absolutely amazing.
Being a mom can be so difficult! So many emotions. We have to remember that we need to take care of ourselves too, so we can take care of our littles. You’re doing great mama!
Those people who post these ravishing photos are not showing you the real shit girl. They show you only the good, never the horrible photo you know? You cannot compare yourself to anyone through social media. It's not real. You are amazing! You showed me how to be an awesome mother to my baby girl! You inspire me, and many others. Xoxo
I LOVE the fact that even though this WAS a sponsored video it DID NOT feel like one!! It was 100% raw and real. Thank you Jen for coming on here and opening up about your mom guilt, you are honestly so STRONG for sharing your life for everyone to judge and "advise" you on.
Jen, thank you for sharing your raw feelings and your sincerest words. I cannot relate to as a mother, but your take home message definitely help me immensely and I want to quickly say thank you. Thank you for taking the time to make this video and all your other contents. Best wishes to you and your lovely family.
I feel you, girl. I had twins my first pregnancy and currently in my second pregnancy. Sometimes I wonder how I’m going to thrive but remind myself if I was able to do it with my first kiddos I’ll be able to do it with the next one. You got this.
Hearing other moms' stories almost always lifts my spirits. When they're going through tough times, I feel that I'm not alone. And when I hear good stories, it gives me a push to keep going and gives me hope that things won't stay so difficult forever. We can only do what we can do, and we need to be gentle and understanding to ourselves
I've been subscribed to you for a while and recently decided to watch one of your videos for the first time in probably a year haha. But wow now I remember why I subscribed. I love your message behind this video and even being a teenager this gives me really nice aspirations for when I'm a mom. Love you!
Oh girl. I don’t normally comment (3 kids here!) but you’re not alone (I know you know that, but it’s hard to believe). When I was pregnant with my second, I resented him so much. He was already stealing so much time from my eldest and it made me feel so bad/sad/angry. Looking back, I’m pretty sure I had some sort of undiagnosed depression. The minute he was born, every single feeling of resentment disappeared. Daddy and I were so in love and so was my firstborn. Thanks for sharing your heart. You’re such a good Mommy!! Praying for you. ❤️
Honestly I have never been as happy as when I deleted my social media accounts. If Instagram makes you sad then don't use it. I feel like our mothers coped better and didn't have that pressure because everyone else's lives were hidden so they didn't compare or aspire to be someone else.
I feel exactly the same. I’m on my phone too much. I don’t play with my kids enough. I don’t clean enough. I am too overweight. I’m tired. I’m never good enough. I feel all of these, every single day. Thanks for the video and know, you aren’t alone.
I started crying from the beginning of the video because I saw the hurt in your eyes and I could relate so much. I deal with mom guilt all the time and it’s so difficult. 💔
Jen, you are an amazing mom! Just talking to us about this and putting it out there helps so many people. I was pregnant with a toddler too. It is very hard, but you are literally growing a human! Toddlers are wild, and your tummy is wild :) you are not alone, and it is okay and will be okay. 💕💕
Jen, you’re such an amazing mom! I look up to you and look forward to your content all the time! I totally feel all the guilt as a working mom even though I only have one baby. My mom’s living with us so I not only feel bad about not being there for my baby when I work but i also feel bad about my mom taking care of the baby on top of helping us with the chores. (And you know how Korean moms are!) You’re an influencer that I really identify myself with, being a Korean, being married to an American, having a daughter named Ari (short for Arianna), etc etc. I found so much comfort during my postpartum recovery because I had similar complications too. You’re doing an amazing job, and Ben is also so awesome! I wish you the best for your growing family! We moms will never feel good enough but we’ll always do our best! Love you!
I know EXACTLY how you’re feeling. I felt all those same feelings when I was pregnant with my 2nd and now I’m 5 months post partum and I struggle daily with the same issues. I’m a working stay at home mom and it can be very isolating especially when im doubting myself daily.
Thank you so much for this very honest video on such an important topic. I have read all of Brene Brown books - the first one to start with would be Gifts of imperfection. She also has many videos on ted talk and oprah super soul Sunday’s. She started as shame research specialist and mom shame is something she studied academically for many years. Jen you are bang on - we need to have more self-compassion and be gentle with ourselves. When you are less judge my with yourself, you will all be less judge and gentle with others.
Social media depression is real.. many people feel like we are not living to life’s potential when we look at other people’s perfect picture. We need to remind ourselves that other people are struggling to, whether or not they put it out there. I am a mum of 1, and I already feel those pressure whenever I’m not putting in 100%. We need to be kinder and take care of ourselves.. You can never pour from an empty cup. Take time out for yourself and refuel, feel excited about life, and your children will see life blossoming through your eyes too.
Jen, thanks for a great video and being so open and honest. That’s why I love watching your videos!! Also, congrats on making it in the “I am pretty” movie!! The first time I saw that movie preview and saw you I jumped on Instagram right away to see if you knew and you already did!! Sending love from Wisconsin.
Jen, you are such a strong woman. I look up to you so much. It takes such a special person to share genuine thoughts and feelings about what you’re going through. Each persons journey is different and you can get through whatever life brings your way. It’s awful that people judge your life when we only see a portion of your life. You’re a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. I wish nothing but the best to, aria, ben and the baby. 💕
Oh Jen. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. I just found out I am pregnant with our second baby and right now I am cuddling my 13 month old feeling so sick and wondering HOW I will ever be enough for the both of them. Thank you for the reminder I am not alone.
SUCH an important video - thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing with us! we all know how hard-working you are as both a mother and a TH-camr, and one can easily see the huge time and effort you put into your channel
You’re amazing! I love hearing your beautiful heart and wisdom. I was struggling lately and a older Mama friend told me that motherhood is not a perfectionist thing! And that just clicked with me. It’s just about doing the best we can do in love. We wont be there all the time. We’ll mess up. We’ll take time to ourselves to love ourselves and reboot. We’ll film a video because we need time to ourself to just *be* - like we used to. And that’s good! That’s it! Yes let’s be kinder to ourselves and Shut down the voices that tell us we’re not enough-because that’s the furthest thing from the truth. You’re such a special Mama, the one God picked out for sweet Aria. She is so blessed!💕💕💕💕
I can 100% relate. I also have felt guilty taking a little extra time for myself in the morning. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I definitely agree that us mothers need to be more gentle on ourselves. At the end of the day we all lead different lives, you have to do what suits your family. Sometimes an extra hour of sleep in the morning helps you be a more alert mommy for your little one the rest of the day. Thanks for sharing!
My child is grown, but I was in and out of addiction, come from a loveless home where my parents abused me psychological and emotional in front of my child along with encouraged her to do the same to me, I've got bpd from my childhood so I also struggled with my mental health. She is 20 now, and the mom guilt is beyond anything. Your generation is so lucky because all this info is out about the formative years than when I was a young single 19 yr old mom. Plus my parents just constantly told me how I was not a good mom, it being my first and only child. So the mom guilt I feel haunts me. I know it wasn't all my fault. I wish I wld had known then what is out now..but it's too late... It's awful.. but you will be fine.. because the info is out there. To admit you were a bad parent when I was young got you a DCs call by psychiatry. Now it's physical abuse that gets the call and psychiatry is more aimed at correcting yr bad parenting to be better... So better now than later..
Thanks Jen for being so real about everything! I just had my second child in December and I’m not going to lie, the mom guilt gets worse. Just remember, everything is temporary and when the little one gets older it will get easier. That’s what I keep telling myself anyways 😊
Jen! You are the most amazing person that I watch on TH-cam! As well as you’re someone who I look up to through my career aspirations and how I want to create a family!
I am going through similar feelings though I have one going to school at his first year and a almost 1 yr old! Thank you for sharing Jen. You are amazing 😊🤓💖
I love you jen. Ur the first youtuber i ever subscribed to way back in the days of naked 1 hahaha. Im so happy to see these types of content and take part in ur journey and growth. Im enjoying ur channel more and more these days. So much so much love to u and ur whole family
I’m pregnant as well with number 2 and I’ve been really tired. I’ve definitely been through mom guilt spells through my son’s life. But you are doing what you can and everyone will totally be Ok! I’m slowly learning that.
I’m pregnant with my second baby too and I can relate so much!! Thank you so much for the encouraging video! I’m so thankful that I saw this video on my feed today.
The only thing you should feel guilty about is not giving yourself the gentle break and love you deserve more often. Don’t feel guilty about your job, your pregnancy, your daughter, your husband, everything else in the world that weighs on you so heavily. The way to measure how well you are doing as a mom, wife, woman and in career is how much you genuinely care and try again and again everyday knowing that it is with the heavy price of disappointment, judgment and sense of failure throughout. You don’t need to be perfect to be a great mom. Kids wear rose colored glasses and think you’re perfect even when you’re sucking royally. They are the ones to learn how to love with gentleness, kindness and without judgment ❤️
Well, it’s been a while since I subscribed to your channel and it’s my first comment. I’m pregnant and each weeks, I check your pregy playlist for a related video and wow I was wondering, how could she be so cheerful and happy? And Why it’s so hard for me? You was a huge motivation for me to be happier and take things easier. Hearing your struggles was actully a relief for me to now that I’m not alone and even you some times feel not being enough... thanks for share your inner feelings❤️ Love you🌹
The fact that you have thought this through, tells me you ARE going to manage JUST fine ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼 I have a 2 year old and a Three month old, And I manage every day, MY way ❤️❤️❤️🙌🏼 You will too ❤️❤️
I love and have always loved your realness and honesty. No matter how we present ourselves to the world, whether it is on a big platform like yours, or on a small scale, I agree with you that we have to be kinder to ourselves. Take the time you need for yourself. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you for this reminder. I'm not a mom but I feel like this self-love message in a time of social media perfection is for all of us. 🙏🏻
Jen! You are awesome! ❤️ I am not a mom, but I do struggle with not feeling good enough or not believing am good enough in the things I do...I think everyone does sometimes. Thank you for this video, and for being so honest.
Girl, you are awesome! I am not a mother and I am not sure I ever really want to be but I see all of the stuff the moms in my life go through and it is no joke. Y'all are superheroes! Everyone always has opinions about what you should or shouldn't be doing. I am 28 and alot of the opinions and comments I get now from people are about how I don't have children and should. I try my hardest to just be forgiving and understanding of other women no matter their situation. We are hard enough on ourselves, we should be supportive of each other. And try not to feel guilty about being a working mom. Aria is going to grow up watching her mama hustle for her dreams and that is an excellent example to set for your babies. :)
I totally understand were you are coming from. I'll be 32 and have been married 8 years in July and I (not we; male double standard bullshit) have gotten so much flack for not having a child or children. We don't know if we want any and like you people pestering me about children (it gets worse when you turn 30) trying to throw their opinion in to kindly have asked them to back off because the next time I have to say it, it won't be very nice. Starting a family is a huge life changing decision and it'll impact me the most; I'm fully aware of it.
I have a 17 month old daughter and everyone says “oh when are you going to have another” it’s a lot of pressure to have another one. Not only because every asks but I can’t imagine not being able to spend my time with her. It’s hard because I do want more children but I don’t want my daughter to feel left out. Everyone who has more then one says you just find ways, it works out. So I give you props for everything your doing and your feels are valid and real. I have them and I’m not even pregnant haha.
"The best thing you can do is to remember to be really gentle. Be gentle to yourself. Because it’s not your ability to do that makes you a stronger person but your ability to forgive. It’s your ability to be patience, loving, kind and warm."
Thank you so much beautiful, kind hearted lady 😘 I believe God thinks we're enough. He is love. Love is patient and kind.. He just wants us to be happy and to enjoy life.. That's what I think anyway 😊we are all uniquely loved and worthy of that even with our faults.. We are loved 💞
Awe, trust me you will figure it out when baby arrives. I have two babies 11 months apart and I thought how am I suppose to do this cuz of my husband he isn't supportive or helping but I was able to to do it. We women are strong we find ways we have super powers! Just believe and you will be able to do it. Working is important but your babies are more, taking a little time off is okay.
Hi Jen, thank you for making very honest video. I have 19months old son and also am expecting with my second due next month. I’m not a working mum like you but you’re video relate to me so much. Being a parent is very challenging but little things makes me happy now. I don’t wear make up everyday, I cannot dress up and go out whenever I want but I love being his mum! Thank you for inspiring me and cannot wait for more baby/mama related video! Go mama!
I think all moms feel that Mom guilt. Right before my second baby was born I felt so sad and guilty. I felt bad for my daughter that I would no longer be there 100 percent for her. That my time would be split. I feel guilty when I’m at work and don’t get to see them. I don’t think it ever gets easier or ever goes away. I think it’s just a sign that we want to be and do the best for our kids. My daughter is now 3 1/2 and my son is 1 1/2. We eventually fell into a groove as a family and though sometimes it’s hard everything fell right into place. I look at my kids together and how much they love each other and how sweet they can be to one another and I’m so glad they have one another. It all comes together somehow. All the best.
Jen, you're great as the way you are! I'm a stay at home mom and still I feel that I'm not good enough for my son. Being mom is somehow hard, but I guess we should not give ourselves too much pressure. And I believe Aria is soo lucky to have you as her mom! Good luck, Jen! Virtual hugsss! 🤗❤
First at all you are an amazing person! I believe that you have to be who you want to be not what you see in other Moms. Each person is different. You will change the way you see things once you see your 2 babies together. I’m sure you will be so proud of knowing you gave Aria her best friend in life. Enjoy your babies both of them need different kind of attention but yes you can take care of both of them and have energy for yourself! It looks overwhelming but I know you can do it! LOVE U GIRL! ❤️
And it never ends! My children are adults, on their own. And do you know what? I wake up EVERY day thinking I wish I had done something better, different, more often, less often...etc. My daughter called to me one night when she was little to come tuck her in again. I was busy making the beds, finishing up laundry. I got into her room after she'd fallen asleep. 15 years later I'm still sad about that. It's just weird. And I miss them so much. Next phase, dear young mother, is when they've left the house. You think it's chaotic and maddening right now, but let me tell you NO ONE tells you or prepares you for the sinking emptiness when you don't hear their voices echoing in the kitchen, even if they're squabbling, or the changes in your schedule when you don't have to make sure to get home in time for the school bus. I liked living by their schedule. It was part of my maternal clock. I'm telling you no job, hobby, travels etc. will take their place. Some parents are relieved, move away, redecorate...whatever. I went back to law school, I redecorated, I started my own company. But being a mom and housewife/homemaker is my calling from the chicken pot pie down to the crochet scarves. Your babies are your precious babies. Treasure them. RIGHT NOW.
gosh babe ; ; I'm not rly a commenting-kinda-subscriber but I've been around you and following you around since I was in high school, up until now, I'll be graduating from university. you're rly a figure who's so mature to me, you're a figure I always look up to when it comes to face life in mature way, even to face and give opinion to *just* those so called beauty products. now I know how to be a woman better, thanks to no other than you, bbyjen. thank you so much. never been commenting around here but you're rly precious, at least to me. thanks for everything, Jen. thanks for your hardwork. thanks for *existing*. your family and your circle are so lucky to have you around, rly. I love you!💜💜💜
Jeeen! I feel you so much, i really understand i had my baby two months ago and i just went back to medschool. I feel guilty everyday going to school and if in with my baby i feel like i should be studying. I loved knowing that someone feels the dame, i realised that as many other things in life, i am eventually going to adjust and im sure you are going too. Loads of love and just remember that!!!
Jen, the fact that you feel like this and worry about doing things right, means that you are a great mother. Nobody will care and love Aria more than you, because she's part of you, nobody can love a child as much as his/her mother. Hope you're doing well! 💛
I'm on my 3rd and was almost bed ridden during my pregnancy...i had MAJOR mom guilt....and it's brutal but super common...you'll feel this EVEn more when baby comes....but i kept assuring my kids that once i heal..mommy can do more with them....it was hard in the beginning...watching my husband playing and going out with my 2 older kids...but i needed to be there for my newborn. You're right to feel that way because you CARE and LOVE Aria so much...which is normal! We talked to our kids as a family...and said....WE ARE RAISING THIS BABY AS A FAMILY....it takes all of us to help do this! After that, my kids understood that they had a role to play too...to help....so it wasn't us vs baby...but it's everyone together. My baby is 8 months and the kids really love and include my baby...after feeling better (post birth)....i was able to devote more attention to my kids....and all they need is LOVE...and reassurance....take it easy on yourself! Love yourself first....so you can be a better mom!
Ive felt mom guilt these past months that my son was born prematurely. I thank God hes growing and getting stronger each day. I feel guilty I cant be at his side as hes in Nicu...All mom guilt has to disappear because I do the best I can and thats all we can do
Most mothers feel this way. People want to paint the perfect life to strangers ...even friends...but the reality is we are all struggling to be Donna Reed. My son's father/late husband left us when our son was 18 months. That first year after he died I honestly don't remember. It feels like one day I just woke up and I had this amazing little boy. I am a nurse and spend so much time at work. I miss out and it crushes me that I am not there. This is a work in progress. I love my son with every piece of my soul and he knows it. He knows it because no matter what time it is, what day it is he can talk to me about anything. No one is perfect and as long as your kids are healthy, laughing and loving then that means you're a great mom.
Hi Jen! Thanks for being awesome. you're beautiful, inside and out. being gentle to one another is so important. I don't understand why people can be so mean. you do you. what is really the "right" way really? Jen, you're a great mom. you're a super mom because you're a preggo mom with a toddler and a career! you are the type of woman any daughter would look up to. Aria is so lucky to have you. Keep doing what you can and just remember a good cry when you're overwhelmed is good for you. gotta let those hormones out. and also don't forget that you need "me" time and that's okay. Your fan fam will love you for all the different content you put up. sending you love and kisses!
Wow. I'm surprised that you felt the same thing to other moms as I felt to you. You always look great, take great photos, pull off all the work. I felt depressed and defeated looking at you during my pregnancy tbh. But I'll make sure to be gentle to myself. Thank you for all your great work.
I am two seconds in and ready to comfort her. 😪 I’ve seen my fair share of undeserving selfish mothers, so when I see an awesome, Ive come to tell them their kids are beautiful. It makes them happy, even for just a second
I’m in tears.. I also experiencing exactly like you right now. I’m in my first trisemester with 19months toddler. My friends and fam said that what I’m feeling is just hormones talking. Thanks for sharing this! 💕
jen, i know you're a great mom just by watching this video. i could tell that your are because you worry about aria and your future baby. this just shows how much you care. when i look at your instagram, your life looks perfect to me too. you have been one of my favorite youtubers because you are so real and you share your struggles. your new years instagram post was very special to me and i still look back at your post and your words when i am having a difficult time. thank you for sharing
Sooo relatable.. just got to the gym while my husband is with our baby and I feel so guilty not being there! I almost feel selfish for wanting to go to the gym or do ANYTHING by myself.
Hey Jen - I’m not a mom, but don’t feel guilty. I can tell you have done SO much for your family. Ben is there helping you and taking time to spend those moments with Aria that are precious. It’s those daddy/daughter moments that are so special to him while you are getting some rest and taking care of you and your new baby boy soon to be born. YES! Be kinder to yourself! You and Ben are strong and give your best to your children. My prayers to all four of you and I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and that your baby boy is healthy!
oh jen! of all the youtubers out there .. i relate to you the most. as a korean american working mom of two toddlers .. the mommy guilt is absolutely real!! i had no idea that being a mom would be this difficult .. because like you said .. the images and videos you see online gives you the impression that that’s what we need to aspire to. growing up with strong working immigrant parents .. we saw the blood sweat and tears that our parents put in to give all of us a better life. but raising us never seemed as difficult as i see it now. and i respect them even more so now that i’m a parent myself.
becoming a mom made me realize that there’s not enough talk out there about the struggles and the harsh realities of how different it can be. so i really try my best to not sugar coat pregnancy or mommyhood to anyone asking for advice. because in the end we’re all trying our best for our children and families... and in order for our communities to thrive we do need to be empathetic and we do need to listen to each other and support one another. and if someone is having a hard mommy moment .. all they’re searching for is validity .. they just want to know that they’re not the only ones going through the same struggle.
thank you for sharing such an important message .. it’s absolutely a passionate subject of mine and i hope that we continue to talk about this. i also hope that you know that you’re such an amazing umma of aria. keeping trucking on and i look forward to seeing the beautiful progress you’re making as you grow into a family of 4 :)
Hanna Byun EXACTLY!!!!!! New Mom of a 5 month old. I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. 😭
Aaaawwww!!! You're such a great Mom...Aria is so lucky.... Its okay to think about yourself sometimes and I hope Aria will understand as she grows up... Your vulnerability and genuineness have truly touch my heart❣❣i pray that God be with you and your fam throughout the pregnancy journey👼🏻
All moms go through those feelings. Now that my children are grown, and I look back and ask my grown children the questions....did you ever feel neglected, did you ever feel I needed to do more for you..etc. their answers are...NO, MOM! You gave us so much! You are the person who made us who we are today! I wasn't a perfect mom, no one is....my best advice is that all you can do is to do your best, do what you feel is right for your children, be there for them when they need you and take care of yourself. Trust yourself that you are doing your best and what's right. I'm extremely proud of my children and despite my short falls, they turned out amazing! Hang in there!
I'm not a mom, but I definitely have guilt in different aspects of my life. For example, if I study so much for a test and take a break, I feel guilty for taking a break because I feel like I could be working harder. I appreciate how kind and honest you are when you're sharing your experiences with us. Like you said, we're all one huge family! I love and appreciate you so much, Jen!! You're an awesome mom! ❤️
I feel the same way! Taking a break right now actually. But we all need some "me" time. We wouldn't want to overwhelm our minds and bodies!
Jen, its really amazing to see how strong you are. not because of all the things you do and produce on the outside but because you are able to look deep within yourself and be honest about who you are. It must have been difficult to share your inner thoughts and struggles on your channel... i think so highly of you for being so brave and courageous. You may feel all the pressures and guilt but being around for Aria 24/7 without looking after yourself isnt actually helpful. Knowing when you can trust others to help you so that you can take care of yourself is also part of maturing and at the same time, we can be grateful for our blessings. You are such a special person..don't ever forget that💗
Your video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. I am literally going through this right now. My daughter is 5 and my son is 4 months.
When I was pregnant. I didn’t feel like how you’re explaining everything. I naively went into everything thinking it was all butterflies and rainbows. Now that I have both kids. I feel so guilty for not being there for my daughter like i used to.
For not recovering fast enough. I compare myself to other moms too and all of this is so hard. You’re right though you have to let all of it go. I feel like I can relate to you on so many levels!
My nerves and anxiety totally got the best of me this past week and I got sick. So more mom guilt. Thank you for this video!
You are so right! Trying to be perfect is exhausting and honestly unrealistic, and social media is some sort of cancer, it has to be taken with a grain of salt, and i keep reminding myself that. What i see on instagram - moms having a "great life" or looking so put together when i can't even brush my hair ...It is all an act. We just need to push and enjoy what we have, and live in the moment with our family not someone else's. Thank you for being more realistic, you are a great mom, enjoy your family and don't forget about yourself as well. Getting those couple of hours for yourself mama is really important, if you take care of yourself you'll be able to be the best version of yourself with the little one. xoxo. Happy Mothers day!
Aww....I can relate. You’re not responsible for how other people feel when they see your content. Do what you love. The people who connect with you will be your family.
Yes, be gentle with yourself, take care of you.
Perfection means driving yourself insane. Because no one is perfect.
Love yourself. When you’re mentally, emotionally & physically healthy, then you can pour your joy to your kids. Don’t worry about what or how others do life.
Your own life will pass you by if you do.
Be present in your own journey of Mommyhood. You won’t always get it right. And that’s ok. Accept it. No one is perfect. You’re an intelligent woman with so much love. Give that love to yourself as Jen 1st. You deserve it. Then it will pour out to your loved ones. ♥️
I always say “grant yourself grace”. Not just as mom, but as a human. No one is perfect. You’re doing great! Thanks for your honesty and openness. Yes, social media can make some people feel bad, but you can’t let it affect your craft. Don’t feel bad about posting the best of your life, you should feel good about those moments. We know that no one’s life is perfect. But we all do the best we can and you’re doing a great job. Thanks for keeping it real in your posts!
You are not alone. I also have an overwhelming amount of mom guilt. I've 2 auto immune diseases, and have had about 6 cancer related surgeries - all while going to school and/or working 2 jobs. But I do it while making time for my son and I never feel like I do enough. If I spend extra time with him then the house work gets neglected. If I spend more time on school work then I feel guilty for taking time away from him, even though this is FOR him. If I treat myself to something - even just lunch or a DVD, I feel terrible for not doing something extra for him. I don't know how to balance it and there are definitely people who think I should do things better. But just the fact that we worry about doing better is what MAKES us good Moms. You will find your voice as a Mom even if it's only after baby #3 lol. We have to believe in ourself, even on the hard days. Sending you love and light
Oh my gosh, your story is so touching! You shouldn't feel ANY mom guilt whatsoever!!! We're all just doing the best we can and should be a source of support & encouragement for each other
Thanks for being real Jen!! I don't have kids but your advice can be applied to many other areas of life and it was just what I needed today!! I feel exactly the same about never being quite where I want to be in life or always thinking I'm not doing enough... But as you said we need to learn to let go and be kind to ourselves!
Thank you for being so real and acknowledging your struggles. I definitely feel less alone hearing you talking about this.
Mom guilt makes us feel SO alone, doesn't it? It's so vicious.
What I appreciate the most about your channel and its contents is that they are all honest and gentle. You and Ben are all incredible, loving individuals and I think you are a great true beauty "guru" who made me think about the beauty within as much as what is on the outside. I have been and always will be here to support you and your family. Thanks for the heart-to-heart!
Being so honest and open about your insecurities is very admirable. Like you said, we compare ourselves to others but we may not see them through their difficult times.
I've been following you for over 7 years - you're a great youtuber, human, wife and mom! I hope you aren't too hard on yourself- just focus on growing that healthy, happy little person inside your tummy!
Aw jen please don’t be guilty!!!! I’ve always love watching your videos because you’re always kind, genuine and you’re an amazing mom. Being around social media is so discouraging sometimes whether you’re single or a mom because thats what they’re displaying; sometimes I feel like they’re not realistic and we don’t know what’s really happening behind the scene; so please trust me when I say we can all relate at some level. But there is no expectation except for what you truly want for you and your family and i feel like that’s what’s
Matters*** I hope you know a lot of us love and support you and being working mom is not easy task so you gotta give yourself more credit :) take a break away if you need to! Your children will grow up so quickly and social media and TH-cam will always be around !
negative thoughts turn into a vicious cycle that affect our behavior and life. These negative thoughts are not always TRUE. Don't think of the worst things possible. Don't blame yourself. Your an amazing mom and person!!! I appreciate ur honesty.
I’m newly pregnant (13 weeks today!) I’m only 21 and watching your videos about how you need to be nice to yourself and not judge yourself as a women really has helped me handle a lot of the thought process of being pregnant. No matter your difficulties and anxieties you are an inspiration.
Congrats!!! It's so important to give ourselves grace and not beat ourselves up because being a mom is the hardest but BEST job ever
You are awesome! I get you. I’m there too. When I came from to work was one of the most difficult things I ever done, but I didn’t have a choice. But it’s ok to work, it’s ok to have time for you, it’s ok to be with your daughter and with your baby. I guess the guilt never leaves you, you just don’t feel it as much as you used to. Believe me, you are an excellent mom, and your two children are very blessed because they have you. From one working mom to another, love from Chile.
Hi Jen ! I've been watching your videos here in France for many years now and I just wanted to say that I admire you for sharing with us your personal experience of motherhood so openly. I'm not a mom yet but what you're saying in this video makes me emotional somehow. God bless you and your amazing family ! :)
You are among the most real and relatable. You’re honest and genuine and you don’t apologize for feeling all the things you feel. Which is freeing, because so many of us feel them too. Keep being you. Thanks for sharing your life and vulnerabilities. Inspiring and encouraging doesn’t even begin to describe you. Of all the influencers out there, there needs to be more out there like you, doing and saying real but uplifting things that help pick us all back up.
Every time I need to go to work (I work 6 days per week 8 to 12 hrs) and I have to leave my son at the daycare I feel like crying every single time. I wish I didn't have to work and spend all day with him but I can't do that, and the little time I have with him after work I try my best to show him how much he means to me but sometimes Im just so tired after work I can't even finish reading him a book before I fall sleep. It makes me feel miserable and I can't really talk to anyone about this because they're like "well you wanted to have a baby so..." and that just kills me. I watch your videos during my break time and I've been watching your videos since your pregnancy and your recovery were similar to my experience and helps me to know that there's actually women who go through the same struggle. I just wanted to thank you so much because I feel like you're a friend I can relate to and feel somewhat relieved that I'm not alone. I hope the best for you and your family. ❤️❤️
Ugh MOM GUILT honestly hit me so hard too. It's insane with all the guidelines nowadays! Sending love your way and it's great you created this so that other mom's can relate! ♥︎
Thank you for your transparency!!! You're awesome!
That is the answer, Jen. The more of us that are honest about this, the better it is for the rest of us. All of these women who feel the need to project the "perfect" image are not helping the situation at all, and I have actually unsubscribed from a few of them. But someone like you, who is honest, is what we really really need, and it's so much healthier for all of us as well. Thank you dear. I'm 24 weeks pregnant, and I can totally relate because I have a 5-year-old, with a whole different set of needs.
You are so amazing. I started watching your channel when I just finished school. And all these years l’m taking a help from you: starting with how to apply make up, how to struggle to different situations and etc. And now me and my fiance are planning our future: creating a family, having home and kids finally. And I have little nephews and I know how difficult it can be. But i feel that I know only the “top” of what’s going on and it make me so anxious. I”m 100% sure that having kids (especially like you do little kid and pregnancy) demands to be so strong. Moreover a mom get huge pressure from society and all this situation makes me fell super scared and lonely. Thanks to you I know that it’s normal to feel in this way You remind us that mommies are human too and we should be gentle to ourselves. Love you so much, thank you for sharing 🧡
Wow, thanks for sharing this.... I stopped getting on most social media because of the same thing. I would find myself constantly comparing to other glamorous fit moms and beating myself up about if because I didn't feel like I could live up to that expectation.... Even though I know it's unrealistic to look fabulous, be fit, travel, be financially well off, and be emotionally stable 24/7 that's exactly what I wanted to be. I needed time to truly focus on who I am and what is truly important. After weeks of this social media detox, my relationship with myself is improving and I'm becoming a more compassionate caring parent. I spend my time doing things that will benefit me mentally and physically. Because like you said, as long as we are gentle and love ourselves everything else will fall into place.
Hi Jen, I'm not a Mom but I watch yours and other Moms videos on youtube because I love following the lives of some of these amazing women! I think you are doing a wonderful job, and both yours and Bens honesty shines out. Keep being uncompromisingly yourself and don't be swayed by what you see on social media. You're a lovely Mom xx
Jen you have the sense of ‘not doing enough’ already saying you are a good and caring mom. Life is a journey of non stop learning of what each stages teach us. Growing up with no much attention, I still can be a good human. The balance of love in the future between the kids will be another important issue but sure you will do it great
Omg! For the longest I have been feeling the way you are. I’m not pregnant with my second child but I am currently away for professional school. I’m away from my husband and 1 year old baby girl. I feel so guilty for being away. Thank you for talking about your experience and your reminder “be gentle to yourself”.
Babe, you’re literally making human life; That is the biggest and most beautiful task you could ever do. The guilt is because you care so much and your heart is so big and it makes you want so much for your family but you are amazing and supported and loved both by your family and by the online community. If you are up and working 7 days postpartum or it takes you 7 months, take care of your body and your heart because if you don’t you can’t give what you don’t have to those you love. Keep your head up, you’re doing just fine 💕
Jen ...i had the same sentiments, guilt and fear because I had my 2nd son just when my eldest son was 6 months old. But a very valuable lesson I realized was when a friend told me...you dont divide love among your children..It multiplies with another addition to your family. You are giving Aria a precious gift of having a sibling who will love her for the rest of her life. Hang in there...things will get better. and oh...remember..You are enough and you are doing a great job
Thank you for being real and honest and showing your vulnerable side ❤️ you are an amazing TH-camr and someone I look up to.
You have no idea how much I needed this video. I'm a first time single mom. I'm there every day all day but I feel guilty just trying to take time for myself. Thank you so much for sharing!
I love how genuine and real you always are Jen! Please know that you're enough, I respect you and how you share everything so much! You're absolutely amazing.
Being a mom can be so difficult! So many emotions. We have to remember that we need to take care of ourselves too, so we can take care of our littles. You’re doing great mama!
Those people who post these ravishing photos are not showing you the real shit girl. They show you only the good, never the horrible photo you know? You cannot compare yourself to anyone through social media. It's not real. You are amazing! You showed me how to be an awesome mother to my baby girl! You inspire me, and many others. Xoxo
I LOVE the fact that even though this WAS a sponsored video it DID NOT feel like one!! It was 100% raw and real. Thank you Jen for coming on here and opening up about your mom guilt, you are honestly so STRONG for sharing your life for everyone to judge and "advise" you on.
Jen, thank you for sharing your raw feelings and your sincerest words. I cannot relate to as a mother, but your take home message definitely help me immensely and I want to quickly say thank you. Thank you for taking the time to make this video and all your other contents. Best wishes to you and your lovely family.
I feel you, girl. I had twins my first pregnancy and currently in my second pregnancy. Sometimes I wonder how I’m going to thrive but remind myself if I was able to do it with my first kiddos I’ll be able to do it with the next one. You got this.
Hearing other moms' stories almost always lifts my spirits. When they're going through tough times, I feel that I'm not alone. And when I hear good stories, it gives me a push to keep going and gives me hope that things won't stay so difficult forever. We can only do what we can do, and we need to be gentle and understanding to ourselves
You are a great mom!! I feel the same way sometimes. It’s hard being a working mom and trying to balance everything! Thanks for the advice!
I've been subscribed to you for a while and recently decided to watch one of your videos for the first time in probably a year haha. But wow now I remember why I subscribed. I love your message behind this video and even being a teenager this gives me really nice aspirations for when I'm a mom. Love you!
Oh girl. I don’t normally comment (3 kids here!) but you’re not alone (I know you know that, but it’s hard to believe). When I was pregnant with my second, I resented him so much. He was already stealing so much time from my eldest and it made me feel so bad/sad/angry. Looking back, I’m pretty sure I had some sort of undiagnosed depression. The minute he was born, every single feeling of resentment disappeared. Daddy and I were so in love and so was my firstborn. Thanks for sharing your heart. You’re such a good Mommy!! Praying for you. ❤️
Honestly I have never been as happy as when I deleted my social media accounts. If Instagram makes you sad then don't use it. I feel like our mothers coped better and didn't have that pressure because everyone else's lives were hidden so they didn't compare or aspire to be someone else.
I feel exactly the same. I’m on my phone too much. I don’t play with my kids enough. I don’t clean enough. I am too overweight. I’m tired. I’m never good enough. I feel all of these, every single day. Thanks for the video and know, you aren’t alone.
I started crying from the beginning of the video because I saw the hurt in your eyes and I could relate so much. I deal with mom guilt all the time and it’s so difficult. 💔
Jen, you are an amazing mom! Just talking to us about this and putting it out there helps so many people. I was pregnant with a toddler too. It is very hard, but you are literally growing a human! Toddlers are wild, and your tummy is wild :) you are not alone, and it is okay and will be okay. 💕💕
I really appreciate your heart Jen!
Jen, you’re such an amazing mom! I look up to you and look forward to your content all the time! I totally feel all the guilt as a working mom even though I only have one baby. My mom’s living with us so I not only feel bad about not being there for my baby when I work but i also feel bad about my mom taking care of the baby on top of helping us with the chores. (And you know how Korean moms are!) You’re an influencer that I really identify myself with, being a Korean, being married to an American, having a daughter named Ari (short for Arianna), etc etc. I found so much comfort during my postpartum recovery because I had similar complications too. You’re doing an amazing job, and Ben is also so awesome! I wish you the best for your growing family! We moms will never feel good enough but we’ll always do our best! Love you!
I know EXACTLY how you’re feeling. I felt all those same feelings when I was pregnant with my 2nd and now I’m 5 months post partum and I struggle daily with the same issues. I’m a working stay at home mom and it can be very isolating especially when im doubting myself daily.
Thank you so much for this very honest video on such an important topic. I have read all of Brene Brown books - the first one to start with would be Gifts of imperfection. She also has many videos on ted talk and oprah super soul Sunday’s. She started as shame research specialist and mom shame is something she studied academically for many years. Jen you are bang on - we need to have more self-compassion and be gentle with ourselves. When you are less judge my with yourself, you will all be less judge and gentle with others.
Social media depression is real.. many people feel like we are not living to life’s potential when we look at other people’s perfect picture. We need to remind ourselves that other people are struggling to, whether or not they put it out there. I am a mum of 1, and I already feel those pressure whenever I’m not putting in 100%. We need to be kinder and take care of ourselves.. You can never pour from an empty cup. Take time out for yourself and refuel, feel excited about life, and your children will see life blossoming through your eyes too.
Jen, thanks for a great video and being so open and honest. That’s why I love watching your videos!! Also, congrats on making it in the “I am pretty” movie!! The first time I saw that movie preview and saw you I jumped on Instagram right away to see if you knew and you already did!! Sending love from Wisconsin.
Jen, you are such a strong woman. I look up to you so much. It takes such a special person to share genuine thoughts and feelings about what you’re going through. Each persons journey is different and you can get through whatever life brings your way. It’s awful that people judge your life when we only see a portion of your life. You’re a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. I wish nothing but the best to, aria, ben and the baby. 💕
Oh Jen. Thank you for taking the time to make this video. I just found out I am pregnant with our second baby and right now I am cuddling my 13 month old feeling so sick and wondering HOW I will ever be enough for the both of them. Thank you for the reminder I am not alone.
SUCH an important video - thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing with us! we all know how hard-working you are as both a mother and a TH-camr, and one can easily see the huge time and effort you put into your channel
You’re amazing! I love hearing your beautiful heart and wisdom. I was struggling lately and a older Mama friend told me that motherhood is not a perfectionist thing! And that just clicked with me. It’s just about doing the best we can do in love. We wont be there all the time. We’ll mess up. We’ll take time to ourselves to love ourselves and reboot. We’ll film a video because we need time to ourself to just *be* - like we used to. And that’s good! That’s it! Yes let’s be kinder to ourselves and Shut down the voices that tell us we’re not enough-because that’s the furthest thing from the truth. You’re such a special Mama, the one God picked out for sweet Aria. She is so blessed!💕💕💕💕
I can 100% relate. I also have felt guilty taking a little extra time for myself in the morning. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I definitely agree that us mothers need to be more gentle on ourselves. At the end of the day we all lead different lives, you have to do what suits your family. Sometimes an extra hour of sleep in the morning helps you be a more alert mommy for your little one the rest of the day. Thanks for sharing!
My child is grown, but I was in and out of addiction, come from a loveless home where my parents abused me psychological and emotional in front of my child along with encouraged her to do the same to me, I've got bpd from my childhood so I also struggled with my mental health. She is 20 now, and the mom guilt is beyond anything. Your generation is so lucky because all this info is out about the formative years than when I was a young single 19 yr old mom. Plus my parents just constantly told me how I was not a good mom, it being my first and only child. So the mom guilt I feel haunts me. I know it wasn't all my fault. I wish I wld had known then what is out now..but it's too late... It's awful.. but you will be fine.. because the info is out there. To admit you were a bad parent when I was young got you a DCs call by psychiatry. Now it's physical abuse that gets the call and psychiatry is more aimed at correcting yr bad parenting to be better... So better now than later..
Thanks Jen for being so real about everything! I just had my second child in December and I’m not going to lie, the mom guilt gets worse. Just remember, everything is temporary and when the little one gets older it will get easier. That’s what I keep telling myself anyways 😊
Jen! You are the most amazing person that I watch on TH-cam! As well as you’re someone who I look up to through my career aspirations and how I want to create a family!
I am going through similar feelings though I have one going to school at his first year and a almost 1 yr old! Thank you for sharing Jen. You are amazing 😊🤓💖
💗💗💗💗 l appreciate how honest and real Jen is with her audience
I love you jen. Ur the first youtuber i ever subscribed to way back in the days of naked 1 hahaha. Im so happy to see these types of content and take part in ur journey and growth. Im enjoying ur channel more and more these days. So much so much love to u and ur whole family
I’m pregnant as well with number 2 and I’ve been really tired. I’ve definitely been through mom guilt spells through my son’s life. But you are doing what you can and everyone will totally be Ok! I’m slowly learning that.
I’m pregnant with my second baby too and I can relate so much!! Thank you so much for the encouraging video! I’m so thankful that I saw this video on my feed today.
Thank you so much for filming this, and for your gentleness and vulnerability. I really needed to hear this today.
The only thing you should feel guilty about is not giving yourself the gentle break and love you deserve more often. Don’t feel guilty about your job, your pregnancy, your daughter, your husband, everything else in the world that weighs on you so heavily. The way to measure how well you are doing as a mom, wife, woman and in career is how much you genuinely care and try again and again everyday knowing that it is with the heavy price of disappointment, judgment and sense of failure throughout. You don’t need to be perfect to be a great mom. Kids wear rose colored glasses and think you’re perfect even when you’re sucking royally. They are the ones to learn how to love with gentleness, kindness and without judgment ❤️
Well, it’s been a while since I subscribed to your channel and it’s my first comment.
I’m pregnant and each weeks, I check your pregy playlist for a related video and wow I was wondering, how could she be so cheerful and happy? And Why it’s so hard for me?
You was a huge motivation for me to be happier and take things easier.
Hearing your struggles was actully a relief for me to now that I’m not alone and even you some times feel not being enough... thanks for share your inner feelings❤️
Love you🌹
The fact that you have thought this through, tells me you ARE going to manage JUST fine ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼 I have a 2 year old and a Three month old, And I manage every day, MY way ❤️❤️❤️🙌🏼 You will too ❤️❤️
I love and have always loved your realness and honesty. No matter how we present ourselves to the world, whether it is on a big platform like yours, or on a small scale, I agree with you that we have to be kinder to ourselves. Take the time you need for yourself. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you for this reminder. I'm not a mom but I feel like this self-love message in a time of social media perfection is for all of us. 🙏🏻
Wow, totally something I needed to hear! Thank you for the reminder of what's most important! Thank you for your honesty and story! ❤️
Jen! You are awesome! ❤️ I am not a mom, but I do struggle with not feeling good enough or not believing am good enough in the things I do...I think everyone does sometimes. Thank you for this video, and for being so honest.
Girl, you are awesome! I am not a mother and I am not sure I ever really want to be but I see all of the stuff the moms in my life go through and it is no joke. Y'all are superheroes! Everyone always has opinions about what you should or shouldn't be doing. I am 28 and alot of the opinions and comments I get now from people are about how I don't have children and should. I try my hardest to just be forgiving and understanding of other women no matter their situation. We are hard enough on ourselves, we should be supportive of each other. And try not to feel guilty about being a working mom. Aria is going to grow up watching her mama hustle for her dreams and that is an excellent example to set for your babies. :)
I totally understand were you are coming from. I'll be 32 and have been married 8 years in July and I (not we; male double standard bullshit) have gotten so much flack for not having a child or children. We don't know if we want any and like you people pestering me about children (it gets worse when you turn 30) trying to throw their opinion in to kindly have asked them to back off because the next time I have to say it, it won't be very nice. Starting a family is a huge life changing decision and it'll impact me the most; I'm fully aware of it.
I have a 17 month old daughter and everyone says “oh when are you going to have another” it’s a lot of pressure to have another one. Not only because every asks but I can’t imagine not being able to spend my time with her. It’s hard because I do want more children but I don’t want my daughter to feel left out. Everyone who has more then one says you just find ways, it works out. So I give you props for everything your doing and your feels are valid and real. I have them and I’m not even pregnant haha.
"The best thing you can do is to remember to be really gentle. Be gentle to yourself. Because it’s not your ability to do that makes you a stronger person but your ability to forgive. It’s your ability to be patience, loving, kind and warm."
Thank you so much beautiful, kind hearted lady 😘 I believe God thinks we're enough. He is love. Love is patient and kind.. He just wants us to be happy and to enjoy life.. That's what I think anyway 😊we are all uniquely loved and worthy of that even with our faults.. We are loved 💞
Awe, trust me you will figure it out when baby arrives. I have two babies 11 months apart and I thought how am I suppose to do this cuz of my husband he isn't supportive or helping but I was able to to do it. We women are strong we find ways we have super powers! Just believe and you will be able to do it. Working is important but your babies are more, taking a little time off is okay.
My bottom lip won’t stop quivering.. I’m so grateful for this honest and positive video!
Hi Jen, thank you for making very honest video. I have 19months old son and also am expecting with my second due next month. I’m not a working mum like you but you’re video relate to me so much. Being a parent is very challenging but little things makes me happy now. I don’t wear make up everyday, I cannot dress up and go out whenever I want but I love being his mum!
Thank you for inspiring me and cannot wait for more baby/mama related video! Go mama!
I think all moms feel that Mom guilt. Right before my second baby was born I felt so sad and guilty. I felt bad for my daughter that I would no longer be there 100 percent for her. That my time would be split. I feel guilty when I’m at work and don’t get to see them. I don’t think it ever gets easier or ever goes away. I think it’s just a sign that we want to be and do the best for our kids. My daughter is now 3 1/2 and my son is 1 1/2. We eventually fell into a groove as a family and though sometimes it’s hard everything fell right into place. I look at my kids together and how much they love each other and how sweet they can be to one another and I’m so glad they have one another. It all comes together somehow. All the best.
I agree! I think all moms feel mom guilt but it's such a shame--we really DO need to be kinder to ourselves
Jen, you're great as the way you are! I'm a stay at home mom and still I feel that I'm not good enough for my son. Being mom is somehow hard, but I guess we should not give ourselves too much pressure. And I believe Aria is soo lucky to have you as her mom! Good luck, Jen! Virtual hugsss! 🤗❤
First at all you are an amazing person! I believe that you have to be who you want to be not what you see in other Moms. Each person is different. You will change the way you see things once you see your 2 babies together. I’m sure you will be so proud of knowing you gave Aria her best friend in life. Enjoy your babies both of them need different kind of attention but yes you can take care of both of them and have energy for yourself! It looks overwhelming but I know you can do it! LOVE U GIRL! ❤️
And it never ends! My children are adults, on their own. And do you know what? I wake up EVERY day thinking I wish I had done something better, different, more often, less often...etc. My daughter called to me one night when she was little to come tuck her in again. I was busy making the beds, finishing up laundry. I got into her room after she'd fallen asleep. 15 years later I'm still sad about that. It's just weird. And I miss them so much.
Next phase, dear young mother, is when they've left the house. You think it's chaotic and maddening right now, but let me tell you NO ONE tells you or prepares you for the sinking emptiness when you don't hear their voices echoing in the kitchen, even if they're squabbling, or the changes in your schedule when you don't have to make sure to get home in time for the school bus. I liked living by their schedule. It was part of my maternal clock.
I'm telling you no job, hobby, travels etc. will take their place. Some parents are relieved, move away, redecorate...whatever. I went back to law school, I redecorated, I started my own company. But being a mom and housewife/homemaker is my calling from the chicken pot pie down to the crochet scarves. Your babies are your precious babies. Treasure them. RIGHT NOW.
gosh babe ; ; I'm not rly a commenting-kinda-subscriber but I've been around you and following you around since I was in high school, up until now, I'll be graduating from university.
you're rly a figure who's so mature to me, you're a figure I always look up to when it comes to face life in mature way, even to face and give opinion to *just* those so called beauty products.
now I know how to be a woman better, thanks to no other than you, bbyjen. thank you so much.
never been commenting around here but you're rly precious, at least to me.
thanks for everything, Jen. thanks for your hardwork.
thanks for *existing*.
your family and your circle are so lucky to have you around, rly.
I love you!💜💜💜
Jeeen! I feel you so much, i really understand i had my baby two months ago and i just went back to medschool. I feel guilty everyday going to school and if in with my baby i feel like i should be studying. I loved knowing that someone feels the dame, i realised that as many other things in life, i am eventually going to adjust and im sure you are going too. Loads of love and just remember that!!!
Jen, the fact that you feel like this and worry about doing things right, means that you are a great mother. Nobody will care and love Aria more than you, because she's part of you, nobody can love a child as much as his/her mother. Hope you're doing well! 💛
Praying for you my friend. I hope you feel better soon. I hope things go well for you. I wish you the very best. God bless you my friend.
I'm on my 3rd and was almost bed ridden during my pregnancy...i had MAJOR mom guilt....and it's brutal but super common...you'll feel this EVEn more when baby comes....but i kept assuring my kids that once i heal..mommy can do more with them....it was hard in the beginning...watching my husband playing and going out with my 2 older kids...but i needed to be there for my newborn. You're right to feel that way because you CARE and LOVE Aria so much...which is normal! We talked to our kids as a family...and said....WE ARE RAISING THIS BABY AS A FAMILY....it takes all of us to help do this! After that, my kids understood that they had a role to play too...to help....so it wasn't us vs baby...but it's everyone together. My baby is 8 months and the kids really love and include my baby...after feeling better (post birth)....i was able to devote more attention to my kids....and all they need is LOVE...and reassurance....take it easy on yourself! Love yourself first....so you can be a better mom!
Thank you for this video, I have a 2 year old and am also pregnant and mom guilt is always on my mind. Thank you for keeping it real
Ive felt mom guilt these past months that my son was born prematurely. I thank God hes growing and getting stronger each day. I feel guilty I cant be at his side as hes in Nicu...All mom guilt has to disappear because I do the best I can and thats all we can do
thank you for being so real Jenn!
Most mothers feel this way. People want to paint the perfect life to strangers ...even friends...but the reality is we are all struggling to be Donna Reed. My son's father/late husband left us when our son was 18 months. That first year after he died I honestly don't remember. It feels like one day I just woke up and I had this amazing little boy. I am a nurse and spend so much time at work. I miss out and it crushes me that I am not there. This is a work in progress. I love my son with every piece of my soul and he knows it. He knows it because no matter what time it is, what day it is he can talk to me about anything. No one is perfect and as long as your kids are healthy, laughing and loving then that means you're a great mom.
Hi Jen! Thanks for being awesome. you're beautiful, inside and out. being gentle to one another is so important. I don't understand why people can be so mean. you do you. what is really the "right" way really? Jen, you're a great mom. you're a super mom because you're a preggo mom with a toddler and a career! you are the type of woman any daughter would look up to. Aria is so lucky to have you. Keep doing what you can and just remember a good cry when you're overwhelmed is good for you. gotta let those hormones out. and also don't forget that you need "me" time and that's okay. Your fan fam will love you for all the different content you put up. sending you love and kisses!
Wow. I'm surprised that you felt the same thing to other moms as I felt to you. You always look great, take great photos, pull off all the work. I felt depressed and defeated looking at you during my pregnancy tbh. But I'll make sure to be gentle to myself. Thank you for all your great work.
I am two seconds in and ready to comfort her. 😪 I’ve seen my fair share of undeserving selfish mothers, so when I see an awesome, Ive come to tell them their kids are beautiful.
It makes them happy, even for just a second
I’m in tears.. I also experiencing exactly like you right now. I’m in my first trisemester with 19months toddler. My friends and fam said that what I’m feeling is just hormones talking. Thanks for sharing this! 💕
jen, i know you're a great mom just by watching this video. i could tell that your are because you worry about aria and your future baby. this just shows how much you care. when i look at your instagram, your life looks perfect to me too. you have been one of my favorite youtubers because you are so real and you share your struggles. your new years instagram post was very special to me and i still look back at your post and your words when i am having a difficult time. thank you for sharing
Sooo relatable.. just got to the gym while my husband is with our baby and I feel so guilty not being there! I almost feel selfish for wanting to go to the gym or do ANYTHING by myself.