I am 52 years old and also goth because it is not a phase it is a way of living, it is part of me. When I was 30 somebody did ask me if I was planning to grow up one day and I said "I hope not" and 20 years later I still stand by what I said ! Keeping that inner child alive is what kept me alive and happy ! I like learning and everybody have something that I can learn from and improve ! Of course aging comes sometimes with obstacles like I cannot wear high heel anymore but now I wear skirts long enought nobody knows ! Aging is a previlege I saw many loved one passed and I own them to live my life the best and the fullest possible ! Ps Kelly-Ann my 30's were amazing but my 40's were better and now I think having more than 50 is fantastic !
I love the poem titled "Warning" by Jenny Joseph. It starts with "When I am old I shall wear purple. With a red hat that doesn't go and doesn't suit me. And i shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves". I wish to age disgracefully, wear what I want and bugger the small town mentality that is where I live. I'm stronger at 63(64 on the 27th) than I ever was! Act your shoe size not your age!
Keeping your friendships strong as you age is a great point you made. You mentioned being child free, and thinking about not having a safety net. But parents should think like this too. As a parent myself, I don’t think kids should act as a safety net, and us parents should think as you do. While I love my child and would do anything for them, I don’t expect anything in return. They owe me nothing. And that includes being a caretaker for an ageing parent. We often don’t think about planning for end of life, but your video shows how important that planning is for everyone. Our lives may be different but many themes are the same. Thanks for the discussion!
I LOVE this. ❤️ I definitely don't think it's healthy to have such strong expectations on kids - a lot of parents do that. This is part of the reason many people feel pushed to settle down to having kids themselves, because their parents expect it and always envisioned it. They thought they had it 'set up' for themselves and that it would give their later life a sense of meaning. But they had no right to expect or assume that in the first place. I love your perspective.
I am turning 68 this year. This doesn’t make me any wiser or in need of reverence. I am merely the same person I was at every stage of my life with the exception of having more experience. Now I have health issues, and with that chronic pain that I must accept. I have memories of holding my children in my arms and I think, where did the time go? I have enjoyed both an academic and art career. I have said goodbye to many family members and friends. I lived and continue to live each year with an additional number, that’s all. I play a song quite often that reminds me of something important: “Are You Having Any Fun?” Performed by Elaine Stritch. It’s wonderful. Have a listen.
Hey Kelly! This is Tammy. This video resonated with me. I’m 52 and grateful for everyday that I have. I had stage 3b breast cancer when I was 32, and I almost didn’t make it back from that experience. I changed tremendously through that experience. The cancer was bad and my prognosis was not good at all. I lost my beautiful long, thick hair that has never come back. I have issues with memory and mobility. I had to have a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction. Then in 2015 my heart failed due to the chemotherapy I took for my cancer. However, I have pink hair and blue and purple glasses. I love to wear huge chunky jewelry and put on my Doc Martens. I listen to old and new music and enjoy new shows. I love to read thriller and horror books. I’ve decided to start chair yoga to increase my mobility. I try to enjoy every day to the fullest. Today it was sleeting, but it was the perfect day to stick my nose into a new thriller book. I want people to remember me as a happy person who enjoyed life! Blessed be!
I don‘t know you but I am really glad that you made it through all these horrible health challenges and that you are still enjoying life as best as you can ❤
I am 75 and I'm more my true self now than I was in my younger years. After 30+ years of debilitating chronic illness post menopause was the gift of a new life and I seized that with both hands. As you mentioned Kelly-Ann aging is a privilege and I am grateful for that privilege every day and I honour that by living and not just existing. Regular exercise whether biking, walking, yoga, weights etc. are essential to my well being in all aspects of my life. I like to wear black but mainly bright colours are my signature. I have a fractured wrist currently and my hot pink splint makes me and others smile. Having children doesn't necessarily lead to a close local support network. My husband and I emigrated to NZ in our early twenties moving around because of his job before settling in a coastal city. Our children have done the same either moving to Australia or to the other end of the island. This is of course with our blessing because we must all be free to live our own lives. Which leads me on to death decluttering. I was doing it before I realized it had a name. I have just one ring of any value left the rest has been given to my daughters. Other possessions they wanted have also been gifted to them. With just one daughter having to take responsibility when we die I want to make it as easy as possible not the nightmare that some people have to deal with. I'm not a minimalist by any stretch of the imagination but I'm always looking at things to see if they still have a place in my life. Being a Sagittarius certainly helps. I somehow discovered you in my early laptop days and you have kept me company while I prepare the dinner for many a year and your Self Love September has been part of a healing journey for me. We will never meet but I feel you are part of my support network with your wise words. Thank you.
Thank you for adding that not everyone gets the “privilege” to age. My baby brother was just 26 years old when he lost his chance to age. For me, aging is rough not because of physical changes that will happen to me but because each year that goes by is another I mourn the loss of the life that I thought I would get spend with Michael. Many blessings to you, Kelly-Ann. Thank you for raising awareness 💞✨
Life has a way of throwing unexpected things at you despite the best planning. I'm heading to 60 and I worked to keep fit and healthy and socially active but then I got a chronic illness and everything changed.
I’ve been waiting to be older for so long. I plan on getting weirder, not more boring. I envy the young people now who just don’t care about societal expectations. It’s a great way to live and I really hope it works out for us all in creating a new world of compassion and fulfillment.
I agree with everything mentioned in this video, pretty much. I'd just like to add that there can also be huge relief contained in the process of aging. I can only speak from personal experience but as someone who has always struggled with social pacing (introvert!)/has never had up to date speech patterns (mocked in the past for being such a granny) im curious and excited at what it will feel like to see the confusion of others drop away...and though i loathe the notion of the femme-presenting body being pressurised as social currency, i admit that the age-related invisiblity that sets in sounds liberating to me. I even anticipate my health getting a bit *easier* to stabilise as less of my emotional/cognitive resources are used up in ignoring the heightened judgement of others. Slowing down as and when i like, strengthening as and when i like, exploring and expanding my world as and when i like. 🥰
Aging is the exact reason we should continue to enjoy every single thing we’d like. There isn’t some sort of age maximum at which we have to stop enjoying life. Age comes for us all. Honestly, the only important thing seems to be that we care for ourselves inside and out. 🖤
I really connected with this video. I was diagnosed with Heart Failure at 40 (45 now) while pregnant with my second child. I had a great medical team to get me through that as well as to this day. I am now starting to get into my own style and to get out of the “Am I too old for this or that?” Who cares!?! As my youngest says “I can do whatever I want”. Sage advice from such a young heart, right? I don’t know that I have been afraid of aging (I never thought I would get this far). It’s death that gets me. I am trying to remember that cleaning the house is nothing compared to walking outside in the woods, laughing and cuddling with my children, my husband, and enjoying my friends. There are some things that I finally said…just do it. Have fun!! I can’t wait to see how they manifest. Now that I am older, I am starting to get comfortable with who I am with no apologies. Baggage makes that difficult, but still fighting everyday to be who I am, become the person I want to be, and leave…at least memories of joy to people’s lives that I entered.
Hi Kelly Ann it's Hannah. I just turned 25 on the 20th of January and right now my life is an absolute mess. I am grieving, and recovering from a highly abusive relationship which has left quite the wound in my life. A wound which seems much bigger than me. And I am really trying to come to grips with it and really fighting through it right now. One thing I struggle with frequently is body dysmorphia. I've noticed the current beauty standard for a female physique is "thick" and I am a rather petite girl. 5 ft, 97 lbs. So basically it has become reversed; a matter of not wanting to be "thin", but wanting to gain weight, which I struggle with genetically. I could be feasting everyday and still not gain an ounce of weight. I feel so alone with this and when you mentioned you struggle with this too, I no longer felt so alone with it. 😞❤️ Thank you for being you. You are truly one of the sweetest, coolest, most inspiring, kind & understanding people I've come across in this life. You are my idol, Kelly Ann I look forward to that video too. I'm sure there are many others who feel the same and would really appreciate that. I appreciate you more than words can say, Kelly-Ann your amazing strength and wisdom and creativity has inspired me so much and helped me realize my own. Thank you for being here and for being genuine. ❤️ Love
Something happened when I reached 40 last year and I realised so much of the things I’d worry that I needed to “achieve” were not going to happen. I’d wasted a lot of time doing things I “should” and missed out on a lot of time with people I love. Work life balance was way off. This year I’m not trying to claw it back, but I’m conscious to make more time to play. I’m making sure I try to do whatever I need to stay fit and healthy within my means. Most of all I’m trying to move out of my comfort zone (within reason) to create more opportunities that I missed out in my 20’s. I never want to stop learning and thinking “this is it now - nothing else is out there for me”.
This is fantastic. I’ll be turning 40 this year and I’m definitely embracing it! My 20s, weren’t the greatest but my 30s were so much more fulfilling so I’m very positive of what’s next. And no one will ever change my style or tell me how to dress. 😊😆 thank you for this wonderful vid 💜
Yes! I've been enjoying the ride, letting my hair go grey naturally. I was hoping for a cool streak but it looks like we're frosting. That's just what we're doing. :D Look forward to entering my crone era.
As I get closer to my 60th year, I can honestly say that I'm grateful to be where I am. I work in a high school and that really keeps me young. I dress in bright colors, but then I always did. I just cut my hair really really short and love it! I still have a lot to learn and I love that also, I'm always learning. I have a wonderful husband and great friends that I've known for years. Even with all my aches and pains I'm grateful for what I have. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, I appreciate you so much.
I turned 50 in January and I am embracing it! I wear bright colours. I wear Hello kitty, Stewie and Spongebob t-shirts with pride! Who gives a blah blah. I am a grandma, three times over. My grand kids think I am the coolest grandma ever! And I love that. I listen to the music the younger generation listens to. They're like "you know this song?" looking at me like I shouldn't. Ha Ha! I am getting better with age! Embrace it! Love it! I love the younger generation. They just want to live their life, travel, socialize, do things. My nephew is 24. He's having a blast in his life right now. Good for him. I live my life how I want and I don't care what people think. I do what makes me happy.
I’m 64 and I get what you’re saying here and I so agree! Furthermore - what people seem to forget is that there’s a huge difference between being childish and to be immature.
I could not agree with you more. There is woman that I just found on line named Takishima Mika, who is 91 at the making of the video that I saw, and she is worth checking out. She did not even start working out until around 65. Now she is fitter than a lot of 20 yer olds. It is beautiful to see,
This was such a great video. I turned 40 at the tail end of last year and so aging has definitely been on my mind, especially as a woman who has chosen to remain single and childless. The idea of aging was a lot more stressful for me in my 20s than it is now and I think that is because I had very definite ideas of what aging was supposed to involve. Now I am much more settled in my sense of self and I couldn’t give a flying f**k about who society tells me I am supposed to be. I am looking forward to growing old as disgracefully as possible! 😂
About the last chapter of the video, I love the song "jig of life" by Kate Bush, and globally the second half of the album "Hounds of Love" about a woman almost drowning and holding on to manage to live the rest of her life. Her future self, her as an old lady, begs her not to surrender to death, so that she can exist in the future. Thank you for this video, so empowering as always. I love that you also talk about the fact that we can sit with our fear of aging, acknowledge it rather than try to ignore it.
loved this video, pretty much all your thoughts around aging resonate with where i’m at at almost 38. i definitively sometimes feel shamed for the things i’m interested in (kpop! stationery! colourful things!), and self-aware about how i present, but it’s becoming easier & easier every year to straight up not give a f*ck. i love it whenever i notice a situation that would have had me anxious in the past, but now i’m just like «eh» & genuinely don’t give it a second thought. my 30s have definitely been much better than my 20s & i feel like my 40s is where it will get really interesting haha. watch me do some cool shit now that i’m running out of f*cks to give!! it’s also wild to now be old enough that my youth is back in style & my niece is having romantic notions about the ‘80s & ‘90s like they’re some fascinating distant past kjhkjfkgh. and finally a shout-out to my grandma who also still rocks her pearls & red nail polish at the nursing home!! 😍
Love your video and completely agree with your opinion on clothing and style and what you say about healthy behaviour as a gift for yourself :) I am 46 years old riding my bike to work everyday and running up and down our four flights of stairs every day, do my yoga and walking twice a week to invest in my future life. And still wear what I want when I want. I love my DocMartens Boots, my flashy dresses or goth style dresses, my torn jeans and skull shaped rings and currently my favourite necklace with Grogu dangling from it. Some women from work asked if I´m not too old for that stuff, especially since I stopped dying my once black hair and being completely salt and pepper grey. NO, I´m not too old for this! Don´t think I´ll ever be! Luckily I have a perfect role model...my 15 year older than me big sister, who never gave a f*** about other people´s opinions...owe a lot to her ♥
Thank you for that video. You, yourself, are aging very very well. I cannot really say I have started fearing aging yet. Actually, since I am born with a heart malformation, I tend to see aging as a prowess of my body. At the time of my birth, the doctors were giving me 10-11 years to live. I just celebrated my 40th anniversary! And I feel better and more miraculous everyday. Screw the doctors, I am a living miracle...! And so is any person like you that once thought to off herself but resisted to that urge, if you want my point of you. Anyway, arrived at 40, I really do feel that I am starting to enter my Prime. I feel independent, credible and powerful. "'The older I get, the more everyone can kiss my ass"" is a saying that you have in english that I like and kind of tend to live by, lol. Aging, I believe, is awesome when your mindset is right and that, as you evoke, you do not stop doing what you like for societal contentment. Again, thanks for sharing this very meaningful video. Blessed be and peace out ✌
I was in was in a awesome thrift shop looking through some really bright color skirts and dresses and some woman said we have some clothes over here more appropriate for your age I just ignored her I will always wear my style of clothes jewelry and makeup and have my stuffed unicorns and whatnot unicorns
34:48 Floored me Kelly-Ann. Thank You sooo, sooo Much for your Words. You've made my "not just today, day," but many more to come by reinforcing what needs to be remembered every day. I'll be 65 in April and still feel 30-ish in Goth mind yet more aware and understand more with each day passing. It truly is a privilege as you state. Love & Light to Your Wonderful Presence among us. Peace.
Hey lovely, about older women wearing different clothes as they age ... I remember my mum and aunt used to say mutton dressed as lamb about certain clothing and that they would never wear that now. It's sad to see, I agree with you about not adhering to the social stigma around aging. You and I are similar ages and I have no plans of stopping doing or wearing the things I love once I reach a certain age. I'll be going to theme parks as long as I'm able to! Also a bouncy castle for an adult's birthday sounds like a great idea! Xx
Thank you so much for taking the time to make a video on this topic, your words have helped provide a huge sense of comfort to me. I shall be 38 this year and I’d begun to feel a lot of pressure to strive to look young. I definitely feel as though there is this overwhelming feeling from the world that once you show signs of ageing, you’re supposed to look into expensive procedures and skincare etc like ageing is a huge no no. But at the end of the day, it is that expectation that is totally unacceptable and not ageing itself. I’ve lost loved ones who were taken too early and they will never get to have all of those extra years of memories and life but I can and I am learning to be grateful and thankful for that ❤
This was a great video! Loving your awareness on many topics, this one is dear to me. You have some great ideas and I can relate to so much! Just last night I was playing “ girls just wanna have fun “ and decided I will forever be a 80’s baby! Thank you
Kelly Anne thank you for this video! I am a 47 year old woman with chronic pain and struggling with aging. I love you attitude and find you so inspirational. You are amazing and thank you for all your amazing videos.
At 45, a couple years ago, I stretched my ears. A relative said, "Ewww. You'll be an old lady one day... do you really want them talking about your sagging ears in the retirement home". Um... if I don't care what "they" say now, I definitely won't care when I'm 80. What's the point of growing up if you can't do the things and wear the things you've always wanted to do and wear? And, I agree about the idea of a death sale. I am a minimalist already, specifically because I don't like the idea of burdening my loved ones with... things. Plus, I also find it comforting to know I can fit all my belongings in my car and just go if I have to. And if that's not trauma talking, I don't know what is HA.
Loved this chat. Im almost 40 & im just now learning true self love. Id say for those younger, learn self love while you are young. I still go to music festivals & local shows. Love music! I will go until I cannot walk! Much love to you all. XX 💙
Another fabulous video, Kelly-Ann. I'm totally on board with everything you say. (Especially the ice cream part. You try to take away my ice cream, you die.) I would just add that, in my experience after more than 5 decades on this earth, it's a delicate line to walk between not going gently into that good night vs accepting change or limits when necessary, even if it doesn't align with your hopes for how things would go. My younger self couldn't possibly anticipate the challenges life is bringing me now. Some things I swore I'd never do (or always do), I'm finding just don't fit anymore with who I'm becoming. I think leaving that room for the unknown, for what you might become, is key. Thanks for your honesty and eloquence as always.
You mentioned that you're going to make a video on body dysmorphia and i just wanted to let you know that i would love to see that! I struggle with eating disorder on and off. Also thank you for this video! You reminded me that i should dress and act the way that frees my soul no matter what age i am
I'm going to work more on the notes for it now before I go back to sleep.. Thanks for your encouragement on this and I'm sorry that you go through the same thing. x
I just turned 29 two days ago and this couldn't come at a better time for me. But it's funny - I have been so depressed lately and / or engaging in solicitous party activities to push my fear of aging out of my head. And next thing I knew I had made a fort (cushions and blankets and snacks and all) and opened TH-cam and this video was in my feed 🤗🌈 great timing for me
I am so thankful that I have a lot of younger friends so that I can stay more in touch with the world at large, learn the new slang (I also had to ask what "no cap" means lol). It's a great reality check to keep my ego in line when I think I'm "older and wiser". HA! This was a great video. I struggle so much with exercise, even though I do tell myself "this will help me when I'm older" because I really don't want to be old and frail, but it's still a struggle. I'm working to accept that a vigorous session of Beat Saber on my VR headset counts as exercise. So does the bellydance class I recently signed up for - it's not intense, but it's still movement! I'm also going to bite the bullet and find a personal trainer to help me with weights - I need that accountability, and I'm finally at a financial space where I can afford it (several gyms near me offer personal training as part of the membership.) I saw something today that said "1% is better than 0%"......goes along with "if something is worth doing, it's worth half-assing" LOL One item on my to-do list for this year is to meet with a lawyer and write up a will/living will. Being single, I feel the importance of having things like that covered. I don't want someone leaving me on life support forever and ever if I'm in a horrible accident. I don't want anyone to have to struggle to figure out what to do when I die. It will be a good piece of mind to have that taken care of even though I'm still young.
Another amazing video. Wow. So much to think about. As someone who is not currently particularly active and energetic you have reminded me I'm not doing future me many favours right now. Some more fuel for the fire. My Dad always says on every birthday that he's glad to see it and name checks friends and family who didn't make it to his current age and that has affected my attitude too.
I am 60 years old...I treat it as a number I'm also a Sorceress ( yet to practice ) I still wear T shirts & Jeans ...( I hate dresses..because I don't feel comfortable in them)
I'm always so appreciative of your insight and the ways you discuss things! This has made me reflect on some anxiety about ageing I wasn't even really aware I had.
There isn’t a wrinkle or a grey hair that appears without bringing my thoughts to those I have lost, and how badly I wish I could see the grey beard they never got…
Havent watched all the way through yet but just wanted to say a big thank you 😘 I turned 40 last yr and had an unexpected reaction to it. Aging had never been on my mind before but last yr I began to get anxious about it. I know a little bit why it hit negatively but I would like to move into a better perspective about it. ❤
I’m 46 and experiencing a whole new load of changes physically, mentally and spiritually with perimenopause. I’m trying to embrace the change and go with it. I feel a need for new experiences, meeting new people, trying new things - maybe as an antidote to the social messaging which is that I’m becoming dried up and insignificant. But the invisibility that comes with being a frumpy, greying, aging woman is quite freeing. I can dress how I want, do things without anyone noticing or caring and no longer feel the scrutiny I felt as a young woman. I have friends ranging from twenties to seventy (in fact my closest friend is 70), each friend brings their unique energy, wisdom and experience to our friendship, as I hope I do. I’m hoping to often find new friends and continue to make new connections and memories. They’re the things that’ll I’ll turn fondly to in my very old days and will hopefully find comfort in.
I'm 25 and I started wearing J-fashion last year after a decade of wishing and hoping that one day I would have the means of buying those clothes for myself. The first time I put those clothes on my body, I cried. It was the first time I looked at myself in a mirror and felt like the way I looked matched me, and I do not plan to ever give up that feeling. They can bury me with my frills and dresses, I don't care what age I am, I value that feeling over anything anyone else says about me. I will never stop enjoying cartoons, or fantasy fiction, and I will not give up 'childish things' to become a more acceptable member of society. I'm living for me, not for them
I'm not gonna lie.. I saw the first part of this comment and thought, 'Oh Jesus, it's a pervy guy, I'm going to have to block him.' 😜 Hah, I was pleasantly surprised at where this comment ended up going. No block for you! 🏰
The fact that I still listen to Deftones daily (I’m an around the fur girlie) and also bump Ice Spice 💕 Always coming thru with the best music Kelly Ann! This talk is so important and relevant to me. I’m turning 32 this year and the fact of aging has really been on my mind. I love how you spoke to having gratitude for being able to age, that it’s a privilege, and not everyone gets to see that beautiful sunset or hear that new musician or see new art. That really put things into perspective for me. Tysm!
Hon, there's an inspiration for you. She's only just passed from us, but you can spend your years as the Vivienne Westwood of Witchcraft. You can and will, and must, rock that look.
I'm going through my Perimenopause at the moment and I always thought I'd be really sad about it. But I don't, I've got three kids and I'm glad that soon I won't have to worry about getting preggers again lol. I want to grow older disgracefully especially as I have Optic Nerve head Drusen (ONHD) which means I may end up with tunnel vision or lose my sight altogether. But life is short to worry about what might happen. I've promised myself that I that to try and have as many adventures as I can before anything like that happens. So I'm hoping that when I turn 50 Gandalf will knock on my door, only two years to wait now 😁🤞🤞
Yes! I cannot agree with you more about not limiting ourselves as we age. I am currently 28 and have a wonderful friend who is 68 we met when I was 23 and we actually went to political rallies together (USA we were rallying for Bernie Sanders 😁) and while out she would always be in these colorful mini skirts and tall high heels! She inspired me so much to just embrace all the things you love regardless of what is "age appropriate".
@@kelly-annmaddox she is stunning! Just this year she went down hill skiing topless after having a double mastectomy a few years back ❤️ I hope to be as unbreakable as her if I am lucky enough to see my 60s.
This topic reminds me of the stereotype of witches in fairy tales about them “stealing the youth from younger women”. My perspective is that a part of it comes from the status quo hating witches not prescribing to the age requirements you mentioned.
I will be 40 later this year. A couple of years ago and a few times since the way the light is in my bathroom has made it look like I had grey coming in. It took me aback the first time, and I had to do some thinking about how that makes me feel. I have decided that I will not use hair coloring to cover up greys. When I color my hair, it is because I feel like that color expresses a part of me.
I had a long mohawk and then fully shaved my head for the first time in my 30s. I'll be 41 in May and I fully plan to do whatever I like with my look. The first time I saw my mom put a shirt back on the rack after saying it was "too young" for her just made me so sad.
I am 54 years old. There is an interesting contradiction... dress your age versus keep dying your hair so you don't have gray showing and don't look your age... what? I have been thinking about letting my hair grow out naturally, but I do get resistance. I look about 10 years younger than I am and some people in my life don't think I should have gray hair yet. I am setting a boundary at 60. My grandmother dyed her hair until she passed away at 102 and I don't want to do that. It feels so fake to me.
I’m 38 and started getting grey hair at 18 when I was in college. I have full on white streaks now and people actually compliment me. We don’t have an obligation to always look “younger.” Embrace your witch hair!!
I'm "in transition" and loving it. Yes, people look at you differently, but for me it's outweighed by the sheer thrill and curiosity of finding out what the "natural me" looks like.
When u r saying u want to get rid of some things I am smiling cause I am remembering the movie Sunset Boulevard where Norma Desmond lived in her own world.
When your Nana passed did u inherit her belongings. Do u still have any of her Mother Mary statuettes? Great video. At age 60 I have the exact same viewpoint as u on aging. Much love to u ❤
I feel you so much on judging the younger generation. I think it’s the millennial curse or something, being constantly misunderstood and judged by those older than we were.
I had no idea there was a word for something I'd asked my parents to do - death cleaning! I'd talked to my Mum about how much stuff my Dad has collected over the years (he's one of those 'just in case' type hoarders lol) and I'd be the one having to deal with it one day in the not-too-distant future (it's a council house so it would be taken back once they no longer need it). It certainly spurred him on to pull down the shed that was falling apart, clear out all the crap from the garage and I think it was cathartic for him too! I'm a maximalist and childfree for life, so I do have some worries about what I'm going to do with all the antiques, taxidermy and curios we've collected over the years. I'll probably donate the proceeds to an animal charity upon my demise. Having been on social media since my mid-20s I can definitely see myself changing, facially as I age. At 36, my eyebrows have dropped and my eyeliner is much harder to do! I lost 2.5 stone during lockdown and that has definitely aged me, but I'd rather be healthier with a few more lines on my face than fat and unhealthy, personally. I see myself as a 'demure ager' and plan on wearing my long nails, black eyeliner and red lipstick until I breathe my last breath!
I'd love to approach a group of kids and say something like "I didn't have the internet when I was your age. It was SO BORING!" I much prefer this time, with new things coming around the corner, and I would envy you for getting to see more of that than I ever will. If I ever were the sort of person to envy.
Well I'm 67 yrs old. and if people talk about getting old and I tell them it's better than the alternative ! I have always went to the beat of my own drum, I'm true to myself. I know it is right for me because it makes me happy. I no longer wear Hot Pants But if I wanted to I would. My hair is thinning because of my thyroid, so I wear a hair topper, most people think it is my natural hair, but I don't care if people know about it, and if I tell them. they say ,Oh I thought that was your hair, I tell them it is I paid for it ! I wear it for me not anyone else. My body has aged not my soul and personality , but I have become wiser. I love and want the best for everyone, I also have an Irish temper, I have learned to control, but I can pull out when needed . I'm a smart as@ , and people tell me I'm funny. Some people are just toxic, to you , the best thing I have learned in my 67 yrs is you can't control what anyone does or says , you can only control your reactions, so I chose to love these people from a distance. I'm an extrovert, I'll will talk to anybody, because I am truly interested in people, you learn so much from people, and if need be I help them whenever I can. I have had many a younger friend's ask for advice, one she said because she knew I would tell her the truth. I told her I don't know everything it's all just my opinion taken from my life. I talked to her as I do other's coming to me for advice. Mainly by asking them questions, as in how long has this been a problem, what have you done to change things, where do you want to be in 5 yrs, you realize you will be 5 yrs older. They usually say , they have tried everything , over and over again but still doesn't work. So I tell them you know what you should do, I know you don't want to do it, but if you don't, things will never change and you will have to learn to live with your problems.This lets them see no one can help them but themselves. I love being around or seeing younger people enjoy life and have 6 grandchildren, that are amazing, they are at my home every chance they get. We do it all, go on outings, play, talk, cry, dance, laugh, etc. Life is good ! I have an amazing husband that still treats me like a Queen , we've been married 44yrs in March. He has been a great father and the Grand-kids favorite PaPa. The bad thing about getting old is not the years, sagging skin, aches and pains, etc. It the loss, most of my family are gone I have a few nieces , nephews but everyone I grew up with are gone , and I miss them them so much. So spend as must time you can with your loved ones , because you might have to relive those memories for a long time ! Namaste
Thank you so much for making this video, i am 42 and like you, not married, unattached and with no kids and i intend to stay like that and i do wonder sometimes about a lot of the same things you talked about and thinking its just a me problem but its so great to see that there’s a whole lot of women that feel the same way. But i am sure we are all going to be fine breaking the mold and breaking society’s expectations and aging gracefully but being who we want to be at any age. So kelly ann thank you so much for always being so honest and raw about everything 🤍🤍 (and old deftones is awesome!! I agree 1000%)
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I am 52 years old and also goth because it is not a phase it is a way of living, it is part of me. When I was 30 somebody did ask me if I was planning to grow up one day and I said "I hope not" and 20 years later I still stand by what I said ! Keeping that inner child alive is what kept me alive and happy ! I like learning and everybody have something that I can learn from and improve ! Of course aging comes sometimes with obstacles like I cannot wear high heel anymore but now I wear skirts long enought nobody knows ! Aging is a previlege I saw many loved one passed and I own them to live my life the best and the fullest possible ! Ps Kelly-Ann my 30's were amazing but my 40's were better and now I think having more than 50 is fantastic !
I love the poem titled "Warning" by Jenny Joseph. It starts with "When I am old I shall wear purple. With a red hat that doesn't go and doesn't suit me. And i shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves". I wish to age disgracefully, wear what I want and bugger the small town mentality that is where I live. I'm stronger at 63(64 on the 27th) than I ever was! Act your shoe size not your age!
Keeping your friendships strong as you age is a great point you made. You mentioned being child free, and thinking about not having a safety net. But parents should think like this too. As a parent myself, I don’t think kids should act as a safety net, and us parents should think as you do. While I love my child and would do anything for them, I don’t expect anything in return. They owe me nothing. And that includes being a caretaker for an ageing parent. We often don’t think about planning for end of life, but your video shows how important that planning is for everyone. Our lives may be different but many themes are the same. Thanks for the discussion!
I LOVE this. ❤️ I definitely don't think it's healthy to have such strong expectations on kids - a lot of parents do that. This is part of the reason many people feel pushed to settle down to having kids themselves, because their parents expect it and always envisioned it. They thought they had it 'set up' for themselves and that it would give their later life a sense of meaning. But they had no right to expect or assume that in the first place. I love your perspective.
I am turning 68 this year. This doesn’t make me any wiser or in need of reverence. I am merely the same person I was at every stage of my life with the exception of having more experience. Now I have health issues, and with that chronic pain that I must accept. I have memories of holding my children in my arms and I think, where did the time go? I have enjoyed both an academic and art career. I have said goodbye to many family members and friends. I lived and continue to live each year with an additional number, that’s all. I play a song quite often that reminds me of something important: “Are You Having Any Fun?” Performed by Elaine Stritch. It’s wonderful. Have a listen.
Hey Kelly! This is Tammy. This video resonated with me. I’m 52 and grateful for everyday that I have. I had stage 3b breast cancer when I was 32, and I almost didn’t make it back from that experience. I changed tremendously through that experience. The cancer was bad and my prognosis was not good at all. I lost my beautiful long, thick hair that has never come back. I have issues with memory and mobility. I had to have a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction. Then in 2015 my heart failed due to the chemotherapy I took for my cancer. However, I have pink hair and blue and purple glasses. I love to wear huge chunky jewelry and put on my Doc Martens. I listen to old and new music and enjoy new shows. I love to read thriller and horror books. I’ve decided to start chair yoga to increase my mobility. I try to enjoy every day to the fullest. Today it was sleeting, but it was the perfect day to stick my nose into a new thriller book. I want people to remember me as a happy person who enjoyed life! Blessed be!
I don‘t know you but I am really glad that you made it through all these horrible health challenges and that you are still enjoying life as best as you can ❤
I am 75 and I'm more my true self now than I was in my younger years. After 30+ years of debilitating chronic illness post menopause was the gift of a new life and I seized that with both hands. As you mentioned Kelly-Ann aging is a privilege and I am grateful for that privilege every day and I honour that by living and not just existing. Regular exercise whether biking, walking, yoga, weights etc. are essential to my well being in all aspects of my life. I like to wear black but mainly bright colours are my signature. I have a fractured wrist currently and my hot pink splint makes me and others smile. Having children doesn't necessarily lead to a close local support network. My husband and I emigrated to NZ in our early twenties moving around because of his job before settling in a coastal city. Our children have done the same either moving to Australia or to the other end of the island. This is of course with our blessing because we must all be free to live our own lives. Which leads me on to death decluttering. I was doing it before I realized it had a name. I have just one ring of any value left the rest has been given to my daughters. Other possessions they wanted have also been gifted to them. With just one daughter having to take responsibility when we die I want to make it as easy as possible not the nightmare that some people have to deal with. I'm not a minimalist by any stretch of the imagination but I'm always looking at things to see if they still have a place in my life. Being a Sagittarius certainly helps. I somehow discovered you in my early laptop days and you have kept me company while I prepare the dinner for many a year and your Self Love September has been part of a healing journey for me. We will never meet but I feel you are part of my support network with your wise words. Thank you.
Thank you for adding that not everyone gets the “privilege” to age. My baby brother was just 26 years old when he lost his chance to age. For me, aging is rough not because of physical changes that will happen to me but because each year that goes by is another I mourn the loss of the life that I thought I would get spend with Michael.
Many blessings to you, Kelly-Ann. Thank you for raising awareness 💞✨
❤️❤️❤️ I understand. I lost my perfect brother last year. Thanks for your comment, darling, and I'm so sorry for your deep loss x
Life has a way of throwing unexpected things at you despite the best planning. I'm heading to 60 and I worked to keep fit and healthy and socially active but then I got a chronic illness and everything changed.
Me too xx
@@bonnroberts1722 Take care
I’ve been waiting to be older for so long. I plan on getting weirder, not more boring. I envy the young people now who just don’t care about societal expectations. It’s a great way to live and I really hope it works out for us all in creating a new world of compassion and fulfillment.
I agree with everything mentioned in this video, pretty much. I'd just like to add that there can also be huge relief contained in the process of aging. I can only speak from personal experience but as someone who has always struggled with social pacing (introvert!)/has never had up to date speech patterns (mocked in the past for being such a granny) im curious and excited at what it will feel like to see the confusion of others drop away...and though i loathe the notion of the femme-presenting body being pressurised as social currency, i admit that the age-related invisiblity that sets in sounds liberating to me. I even anticipate my health getting a bit *easier* to stabilise as less of my emotional/cognitive resources are used up in ignoring the heightened judgement of others. Slowing down as and when i like, strengthening as and when i like, exploring and expanding my world as and when i like. 🥰
I had LOTS of people tell me that they found this relief in ageing and they lost a lot of their insecurities and worries. I can't wait. 🥲
Aging is the exact reason we should continue to enjoy every single thing we’d like. There isn’t some sort of age maximum at which we have to stop enjoying life. Age comes for us all. Honestly, the only important thing seems to be that we care for ourselves inside and out. 🖤
I really connected with this video. I was diagnosed with Heart Failure at 40 (45 now) while pregnant with my second child. I had a great medical team to get me through that as well as to this day. I am now starting to get into my own style and to get out of the “Am I too old for this or that?” Who cares!?! As my youngest says “I can do whatever I want”. Sage advice from such a young heart, right? I don’t know that I have been afraid of aging (I never thought I would get this far). It’s death that gets me. I am trying to remember that cleaning the house is nothing compared to walking outside in the woods, laughing and cuddling with my children, my husband, and enjoying my friends. There are some things that I finally said…just do it. Have fun!! I can’t wait to see how they manifest. Now that I am older, I am starting to get comfortable with who I am with no apologies. Baggage makes that difficult, but still fighting everyday to be who I am, become the person I want to be, and leave…at least memories of joy to people’s lives that I entered.
Hi Kelly Ann it's Hannah. I just turned 25 on the 20th of January and right now my life is an absolute mess. I am grieving, and recovering from a highly abusive relationship which has left quite the wound in my life. A wound which seems much bigger than me. And I am really trying to come to grips with it and really fighting through it right now. One thing I struggle with frequently is body dysmorphia. I've noticed the current beauty standard for a female physique is "thick" and I am a rather petite girl. 5 ft, 97 lbs. So basically it has become reversed; a matter of not wanting to be "thin", but wanting to gain weight, which I struggle with genetically. I could be feasting everyday and still not gain an ounce of weight. I feel so alone with this and when you mentioned you struggle with this too, I no longer felt so alone with it. 😞❤️ Thank you for being you. You are truly one of the sweetest, coolest, most inspiring, kind & understanding people I've come across in this life. You are my idol, Kelly Ann I look forward to that video too. I'm sure there are many others who feel the same and would really appreciate that. I appreciate you more than words can say, Kelly-Ann your amazing strength and wisdom and creativity has inspired me so much and helped me realize my own. Thank you for being here and for being genuine. ❤️ Love
Something happened when I reached 40 last year and I realised so much of the things I’d worry that I needed to “achieve” were not going to happen. I’d wasted a lot of time doing things I “should” and missed out on a lot of time with people I love. Work life balance was way off. This year I’m not trying to claw it back, but I’m conscious to make more time to play. I’m making sure I try to do whatever I need to stay fit and healthy within my means. Most of all I’m trying to move out of my comfort zone (within reason) to create more opportunities that I missed out in my 20’s. I never want to stop learning and thinking “this is it now - nothing else is out there for me”.
This is fantastic. I’ll be turning 40 this year and I’m definitely embracing it! My 20s, weren’t the greatest but my 30s were so much more fulfilling so I’m very positive of what’s next. And no one will ever change my style or tell me how to dress. 😊😆 thank you for this wonderful vid 💜
Yes! I've been enjoying the ride, letting my hair go grey naturally. I was hoping for a cool streak but it looks like we're frosting. That's just what we're doing. :D Look forward to entering my crone era.
As I get closer to my 60th year, I can honestly say that I'm grateful to be where I am. I work in a high school and that really keeps me young. I dress in bright colors, but then I always did. I just cut my hair really really short and love it! I still have a lot to learn and I love that also, I'm always learning. I have a wonderful husband and great friends that I've known for years. Even with all my aches and pains I'm grateful for what I have. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, I appreciate you so much.
I turned 50 in January and I am embracing it! I wear bright colours. I wear Hello kitty, Stewie and Spongebob t-shirts with pride! Who gives a blah blah. I am a grandma, three times over. My grand kids think I am the coolest grandma ever! And I love that. I listen to the music the younger generation listens to. They're like "you know this song?" looking at me like I shouldn't. Ha Ha! I am getting better with age! Embrace it! Love it! I love the younger generation. They just want to live their life, travel, socialize, do things. My nephew is 24. He's having a blast in his life right now. Good for him. I live my life how I want and I don't care what people think. I do what makes me happy.
I’m 64 and I get what you’re saying here and I so agree!
Furthermore - what people seem to forget is that there’s a huge difference between being childish and to be immature.
I turned 30 in Dec of last year and I am SO thankful about having this mindset. Thank you to everyone sharing their stories!!!
I can totally see you walking around in your 70's rocking your bright clothes. like Iris Apfel.
😍😍😍
I'm only a few minutes in and I'm thinking of that Peggy Lee song, Is That All There Is? It's one of those songs I'll never stop coming back to.
Arghhh I love Peggy Lee. I need to listen to some NOW.
I could not agree with you more.
There is woman that I just found on line named Takishima Mika, who is 91 at the making of the video that I saw, and she is worth checking out. She did not even start working out until around 65. Now she is fitter than a lot of 20 yer olds. It is beautiful to see,
OMG she is AMAZING! 🥰
@@kelly-annmaddox I know right!!!!
This was such a great video. I turned 40 at the tail end of last year and so aging has definitely been on my mind, especially as a woman who has chosen to remain single and childless. The idea of aging was a lot more stressful for me in my 20s than it is now and I think that is because I had very definite ideas of what aging was supposed to involve. Now I am much more settled in my sense of self and I couldn’t give a flying f**k about who society tells me I am supposed to be. I am looking forward to growing old as disgracefully as possible! 😂
I decided I didn't want children in my teens. At 65 I have no regrets and have had an exciting life xx
Adrenaline on the weekly still 😂😍🤟, it's sacred.
About the last chapter of the video, I love the song "jig of life" by Kate Bush, and globally the second half of the album "Hounds of Love" about a woman almost drowning and holding on to manage to live the rest of her life. Her future self, her as an old lady, begs her not to surrender to death, so that she can exist in the future.
Thank you for this video, so empowering as always. I love that you also talk about the fact that we can sit with our fear of aging, acknowledge it rather than try to ignore it.
“All of these lines across my face tell you the story who I am...” Brandi Carlile, The Story ❤
❤❤❤
loved this video, pretty much all your thoughts around aging resonate with where i’m at at almost 38. i definitively sometimes feel shamed for the things i’m interested in (kpop! stationery! colourful things!), and self-aware about how i present, but it’s becoming easier & easier every year to straight up not give a f*ck. i love it whenever i notice a situation that would have had me anxious in the past, but now i’m just like «eh» & genuinely don’t give it a second thought. my 30s have definitely been much better than my 20s & i feel like my 40s is where it will get really interesting haha. watch me do some cool shit now that i’m running out of f*cks to give!! it’s also wild to now be old enough that my youth is back in style & my niece is having romantic notions about the ‘80s & ‘90s like they’re some fascinating distant past kjhkjfkgh. and finally a shout-out to my grandma who also still rocks her pearls & red nail polish at the nursing home!! 😍
Love your video and completely agree with your opinion on clothing and style and what you say about healthy behaviour as a gift for yourself :) I am 46 years old riding my bike to work everyday and running up and down our four flights of stairs every day, do my yoga and walking twice a week to invest in my future life. And still wear what I want when I want. I love my DocMartens Boots, my flashy dresses or goth style dresses, my torn jeans and skull shaped rings and currently my favourite necklace with Grogu dangling from it. Some women from work asked if I´m not too old for that stuff, especially since I stopped dying my once black hair and being completely salt and pepper grey. NO, I´m not too old for this! Don´t think I´ll ever be! Luckily I have a perfect role model...my 15 year older than me big sister, who never gave a f*** about other people´s opinions...owe a lot to her ♥
5:44 the conviction at which you say this 😭😭😭😭😭 I love this so much
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Thank you for that video. You, yourself, are aging very very well. I cannot really say I have started fearing aging yet. Actually, since I am born with a heart malformation, I tend to see aging as a prowess of my body. At the time of my birth, the doctors were giving me 10-11 years to live. I just celebrated my 40th anniversary! And I feel better and more miraculous everyday. Screw the doctors, I am a living miracle...! And so is any person like you that once thought to off herself but resisted to that urge, if you want my point of you. Anyway, arrived at 40, I really do feel that I am starting to enter my Prime. I feel independent, credible and powerful. "'The older I get, the more everyone can kiss my ass"" is a saying that you have in english that I like and kind of tend to live by, lol. Aging, I believe, is awesome when your mindset is right and that, as you evoke, you do not stop doing what you like for societal contentment. Again, thanks for sharing this very meaningful video. Blessed be and peace out ✌
I was in was in a awesome thrift shop looking through some really bright color skirts and dresses and some woman said we have some clothes over here more appropriate for your age I just ignored her I will always wear my style of clothes jewelry and makeup and have my stuffed unicorns and whatnot unicorns
.... I.. would seriously struggle not to tell that woman to fuck off. 😅 I'm sorry but I'm just being honest.
I’m so glad to hear your 30’s have been good to you. I’m finishing up my 20’s and lordyy I prayy my 30’s is better than my 20’s.
34:48 Floored me Kelly-Ann. Thank You sooo, sooo Much for your Words. You've made my "not just today, day," but many more to come by reinforcing what needs to be remembered every day. I'll be 65 in April and still feel 30-ish in Goth mind yet more aware and understand more with each day passing. It truly is a privilege as you state. Love & Light to Your Wonderful Presence among us. Peace.
Oh Kelly-Ann, you kindred spirit you! Love everything about this. 🙌🏻
Hey lovely, about older women wearing different clothes as they age ... I remember my mum and aunt used to say mutton dressed as lamb about certain clothing and that they would never wear that now. It's sad to see, I agree with you about not adhering to the social stigma around aging. You and I are similar ages and I have no plans of stopping doing or wearing the things I love once I reach a certain age. I'll be going to theme parks as long as I'm able to! Also a bouncy castle for an adult's birthday sounds like a great idea! Xx
Thank you so much for taking the time to make a video on this topic, your words have helped provide a huge sense of comfort to me. I shall be 38 this year and I’d begun to feel a lot of pressure to strive to look young. I definitely feel as though there is this overwhelming feeling from the world that once you show signs of ageing, you’re supposed to look into expensive procedures and skincare etc like ageing is a huge no no. But at the end of the day, it is that expectation that is totally unacceptable and not ageing itself. I’ve lost loved ones who were taken too early and they will never get to have all of those extra years of memories and life but I can and I am learning to be grateful and thankful for that ❤
This was a great video! Loving your awareness on many topics, this one is dear to me. You have some great ideas and I can relate to so much! Just last night I was playing “ girls just wanna have fun “ and decided I will forever be a 80’s baby! Thank you
I'm 52. Work everyday with high school students. Love them.. I think we learn from each other everyday. Thanks for your video. Blessings ❤️
Kelly Anne thank you for this video! I am a 47 year old woman with chronic pain and struggling with aging. I love you attitude and find you so inspirational. You are amazing and thank you for all your amazing videos.
Older goths are the most iconic thing i know. I always admired them. I can't wait to be older and still goth.
At 45, a couple years ago, I stretched my ears. A relative said, "Ewww. You'll be an old lady one day... do you really want them talking about your sagging ears in the retirement home". Um... if I don't care what "they" say now, I definitely won't care when I'm 80. What's the point of growing up if you can't do the things and wear the things you've always wanted to do and wear?
And, I agree about the idea of a death sale. I am a minimalist already, specifically because I don't like the idea of burdening my loved ones with... things. Plus, I also find it comforting to know I can fit all my belongings in my car and just go if I have to. And if that's not trauma talking, I don't know what is HA.
Shine on Kelly ❤
Loved this chat. Im almost 40 & im just now learning true self love. Id say for those younger, learn self love while you are young. I still go to music festivals & local shows. Love music! I will go until I cannot walk! Much love to you all. XX 💙
Another fabulous video, Kelly-Ann. I'm totally on board with everything you say. (Especially the ice cream part. You try to take away my ice cream, you die.) I would just add that, in my experience after more than 5 decades on this earth, it's a delicate line to walk between not going gently into that good night vs accepting change or limits when necessary, even if it doesn't align with your hopes for how things would go. My younger self couldn't possibly anticipate the challenges life is bringing me now. Some things I swore I'd never do (or always do), I'm finding just don't fit anymore with who I'm becoming. I think leaving that room for the unknown, for what you might become, is key. Thanks for your honesty and eloquence as always.
lots of interesting points (as usual!) but I especially love the note you ended on about aging being a privilege, beautifully put ❤
You mentioned that you're going to make a video on body dysmorphia and i just wanted to let you know that i would love to see that! I struggle with eating disorder on and off. Also thank you for this video! You reminded me that i should dress and act the way that frees my soul no matter what age i am
I'm going to work more on the notes for it now before I go back to sleep.. Thanks for your encouragement on this and I'm sorry that you go through the same thing. x
I just turned 29 two days ago and this couldn't come at a better time for me. But it's funny - I have been so depressed lately and / or engaging in solicitous party activities to push my fear of aging out of my head. And next thing I knew I had made a fort (cushions and blankets and snacks and all) and opened TH-cam and this video was in my feed 🤗🌈 great timing for me
I am so thankful that I have a lot of younger friends so that I can stay more in touch with the world at large, learn the new slang (I also had to ask what "no cap" means lol). It's a great reality check to keep my ego in line when I think I'm "older and wiser". HA!
This was a great video. I struggle so much with exercise, even though I do tell myself "this will help me when I'm older" because I really don't want to be old and frail, but it's still a struggle. I'm working to accept that a vigorous session of Beat Saber on my VR headset counts as exercise. So does the bellydance class I recently signed up for - it's not intense, but it's still movement! I'm also going to bite the bullet and find a personal trainer to help me with weights - I need that accountability, and I'm finally at a financial space where I can afford it (several gyms near me offer personal training as part of the membership.) I saw something today that said "1% is better than 0%"......goes along with "if something is worth doing, it's worth half-assing" LOL
One item on my to-do list for this year is to meet with a lawyer and write up a will/living will. Being single, I feel the importance of having things like that covered. I don't want someone leaving me on life support forever and ever if I'm in a horrible accident. I don't want anyone to have to struggle to figure out what to do when I die. It will be a good piece of mind to have that taken care of even though I'm still young.
Another amazing video. Wow. So much to think about. As someone who is not currently particularly active and energetic you have reminded me I'm not doing future me many favours right now. Some more fuel for the fire.
My Dad always says on every birthday that he's glad to see it and name checks friends and family who didn't make it to his current age and that has affected my attitude too.
Ps. When I grow up I want to be Frankie in "Grace and Frankie". She is goals! I am currently 44.
I am 60 years old...I treat it as a number
I'm also a Sorceress ( yet to practice )
I still wear T shirts & Jeans ...( I hate dresses..because I don't feel comfortable in them)
I'm always so appreciative of your insight and the ways you discuss things! This has made me reflect on some anxiety about ageing I wasn't even really aware I had.
There isn’t a wrinkle or a grey hair that appears without bringing my thoughts to those I have lost, and how badly I wish I could see the grey beard they never got…
Miss ma'am! Your holy mother candle burner is badass😍
Outstanding content, as always. Grateful for you and the space you hold for others🙏🖤🖤
Havent watched all the way through yet but just wanted to say a big thank you 😘
I turned 40 last yr and had an unexpected reaction to it. Aging had never been on my mind before but last yr I began to get anxious about it. I know a little bit why it hit negatively but I would like to move into a better perspective about it. ❤
OH, your little Kelly-Ann dolly is SOOOOO adorable! 😭
I’m 46 and experiencing a whole new load of changes physically, mentally and spiritually with perimenopause. I’m trying to embrace the change and go with it. I feel a need for new experiences, meeting new people, trying new things - maybe as an antidote to the social messaging which is that I’m becoming dried up and insignificant. But the invisibility that comes with being a frumpy, greying, aging woman is quite freeing. I can dress how I want, do things without anyone noticing or caring and no longer feel the scrutiny I felt as a young woman. I have friends ranging from twenties to seventy (in fact my closest friend is 70), each friend brings their unique energy, wisdom and experience to our friendship, as I hope I do. I’m hoping to often find new friends and continue to make new connections and memories. They’re the things that’ll I’ll turn fondly to in my very old days and will hopefully find comfort in.
I'm 25 and I started wearing J-fashion last year after a decade of wishing and hoping that one day I would have the means of buying those clothes for myself. The first time I put those clothes on my body, I cried. It was the first time I looked at myself in a mirror and felt like the way I looked matched me, and I do not plan to ever give up that feeling. They can bury me with my frills and dresses, I don't care what age I am, I value that feeling over anything anyone else says about me. I will never stop enjoying cartoons, or fantasy fiction, and I will not give up 'childish things' to become a more acceptable member of society. I'm living for me, not for them
Also - great video.
You had me in stitches - “fuck that shit” 😂😂😂
I really love the death episode that The wonder podcast did around lasg Samhain time. I think you'd enjoy some of the ideas they presented there!
I’d love to bounce on a blow up castle… but I’d pee myself 😂
I'm not gonna lie.. I saw the first part of this comment and thought, 'Oh Jesus, it's a pervy guy, I'm going to have to block him.' 😜 Hah, I was pleasantly surprised at where this comment ended up going. No block for you! 🏰
This video made me happy :) thank you for such sound advice, always.
wow i have so many things I could say so I'll just say I absolutely adore you ♡
Love this Kelly-Ann 💜
The fact that I still listen to Deftones daily (I’m an around the fur girlie) and also bump Ice Spice 💕 Always coming thru with the best music Kelly Ann! This talk is so important and relevant to me. I’m turning 32 this year and the fact of aging has really been on my mind. I love how you spoke to having gratitude for being able to age, that it’s a privilege, and not everyone gets to see that beautiful sunset or hear that new musician or see new art. That really put things into perspective for me. Tysm!
Hon, there's an inspiration for you. She's only just passed from us, but you can spend your years as the Vivienne Westwood of Witchcraft. You can and will, and must, rock that look.
I'm going through my Perimenopause at the moment and I always thought I'd be really sad about it. But I don't, I've got three kids and I'm glad that soon I won't have to worry about getting preggers again lol. I want to grow older disgracefully especially as I have Optic Nerve head Drusen (ONHD) which means I may end up with tunnel vision or lose my sight altogether. But life is short to worry about what might happen. I've promised myself that I that to try and have as many adventures as I can before anything like that happens. So I'm hoping that when I turn 50 Gandalf will knock on my door, only two years to wait now 😁🤞🤞
definitely keeping in touch with pop culture is so important to not get left behind by the world, you know?
Yes! I cannot agree with you more about not limiting ourselves as we age. I am currently 28 and have a wonderful friend who is 68 we met when I was 23 and we actually went to political rallies together (USA we were rallying for Bernie Sanders 😁) and while out she would always be in these colorful mini skirts and tall high heels! She inspired me so much to just embrace all the things you love regardless of what is "age appropriate".
Your friend sounds amazing 👏
@@kelly-annmaddox she is stunning! Just this year she went down hill skiing topless after having a double mastectomy a few years back ❤️ I hope to be as unbreakable as her if I am lucky enough to see my 60s.
yes please a video on body dysmorphia
Kelly Ann, could you make a video on Nostalgia?
Thank you.
OMG your poppet is precious.
This topic reminds me of the stereotype of witches in fairy tales about them “stealing the youth from younger women”. My perspective is that a part of it comes from the status quo hating witches not prescribing to the age requirements you mentioned.
Me too. 55 and I’ll do when I like when I’m ready. I dressed like an Easter egg today
I will be 40 later this year. A couple of years ago and a few times since the way the light is in my bathroom has made it look like I had grey coming in. It took me aback the first time, and I had to do some thinking about how that makes me feel. I have decided that I will not use hair coloring to cover up greys. When I color my hair, it is because I feel like that color expresses a part of me.
Fabulous and thank you!!🎶✨
I had a long mohawk and then fully shaved my head for the first time in my 30s. I'll be 41 in May and I fully plan to do whatever I like with my look. The first time I saw my mom put a shirt back on the rack after saying it was "too young" for her just made me so sad.
That Swedish word is pronounced "durr-stedning", my lovely 😉 - "durr" like "duuh stupid" 😄 Och hej från Stockholm!
I am 54 years old. There is an interesting contradiction... dress your age versus keep dying your hair so you don't have gray showing and don't look your age... what? I have been thinking about letting my hair grow out naturally, but I do get resistance. I look about 10 years younger than I am and some people in my life don't think I should have gray hair yet. I am setting a boundary at 60. My grandmother dyed her hair until she passed away at 102 and I don't want to do that. It feels so fake to me.
46 here. I let my hair go grey 2 years ago and I’m rocking it (if I do say so myself). Best decision I ever made! Good luck with your decision!😊
I’m 38 and started getting grey hair at 18 when I was in college. I have full on white streaks now and people actually compliment me. We don’t have an obligation to always look “younger.” Embrace your witch hair!!
I'm "in transition" and loving it. Yes, people look at you differently, but for me it's outweighed by the sheer thrill and curiosity of finding out what the "natural me" looks like.
can't wait to watch this later 🥰
When u r saying u want to get rid of some things I am smiling cause I am remembering the movie Sunset Boulevard where Norma Desmond lived in her own world.
When your Nana passed did u inherit her belongings. Do u still have any of her Mother Mary statuettes?
Great video. At age 60 I have the exact same viewpoint as u on aging. Much love to u ❤
I feel you so much on judging the younger generation. I think it’s the millennial curse or something, being constantly misunderstood and judged by those older than we were.
Female relatives of mine used to say you shouldn't have long hair after 30 🤣🤣🤣 Still makes me p*** myself. I'm 65. With long hair xxx
This long hair thing is just soooo weird. Also, older women look INSANELY good with long hair. 🥰😍
I'm going to be 48 this year and the amount of times I've heard that older women should cut their hair........ I don't think so.
Yasssss girl! I nurture the SHIT out of my inner child! 42 and I have an Alice in wonderland purse.
I haven’t lost hope that I will find a vampire to change me.., lol ok. Mostly joking.
I had no idea there was a word for something I'd asked my parents to do - death cleaning! I'd talked to my Mum about how much stuff my Dad has collected over the years (he's one of those 'just in case' type hoarders lol) and I'd be the one having to deal with it one day in the not-too-distant future (it's a council house so it would be taken back once they no longer need it). It certainly spurred him on to pull down the shed that was falling apart, clear out all the crap from the garage and I think it was cathartic for him too!
I'm a maximalist and childfree for life, so I do have some worries about what I'm going to do with all the antiques, taxidermy and curios we've collected over the years. I'll probably donate the proceeds to an animal charity upon my demise.
Having been on social media since my mid-20s I can definitely see myself changing, facially as I age. At 36, my eyebrows have dropped and my eyeliner is much harder to do! I lost 2.5 stone during lockdown and that has definitely aged me, but I'd rather be healthier with a few more lines on my face than fat and unhealthy, personally. I see myself as a 'demure ager' and plan on wearing my long nails, black eyeliner and red lipstick until I breathe my last breath!
I'd love to approach a group of kids and say something like "I didn't have the internet when I was your age. It was SO BORING!"
I much prefer this time, with new things coming around the corner, and I would envy you for getting to see more of that than I ever will. If I ever were the sort of person to envy.
Dödsstädning. The ”ö” is pronounced like the ”i” in ”birth” and the ”ä” is like in ”fair”. There you go? 😉😘
🥰🥰🥰
wow I thought you were late 20s
😳😳😳😳😳😳
Me @ 75: “Bouncy bouncy, shoes all in a line! Bouncy bouncy, stilettos are a no-no!”
Well I'm 67 yrs old. and if people talk about getting old and I tell them it's better than the alternative ! I have always went to the beat of my own drum, I'm true to myself. I know it is right for me because it makes me happy. I no longer wear Hot Pants But if I wanted to I would. My hair is thinning because of my thyroid, so I wear a hair topper, most people think it is my natural hair, but I don't care if people know about it, and if I tell them. they say ,Oh I thought that was your hair, I tell them it is I paid for it ! I wear it for me not anyone else. My body has aged not my soul and personality , but I have become wiser. I love and want the best for everyone, I also have an Irish temper, I have learned to control, but I can pull out when needed . I'm a smart as@ , and people tell me I'm funny. Some people are just toxic, to you , the best thing I have learned in my 67 yrs is you can't control what anyone does or says , you can only control your reactions, so I chose to love these people from a distance. I'm an extrovert, I'll will talk to anybody, because I am truly interested in people, you learn so much from people, and if need be I help them whenever I can. I have had many a younger friend's ask for advice, one she said because she knew I would tell her the truth. I told her I don't know everything it's all just my opinion taken from my life. I talked to her as I do other's coming to me for advice. Mainly by asking them questions, as in how long has this been a problem, what have you done to change things, where do you want to be in 5 yrs, you realize you will be 5 yrs older. They usually say , they have tried everything , over and over again but still doesn't work. So I tell them you know what you should do, I know you don't want to do it, but if you don't, things will never change and you will have to learn to live with your problems.This lets them see no one can help them but themselves. I love being around or seeing younger people enjoy life and have 6 grandchildren, that are amazing, they are at my home every chance they get. We do it all, go on outings, play, talk, cry, dance, laugh, etc. Life is good ! I have an amazing husband that still treats me like a Queen , we've been married 44yrs in March. He has been a great father and the Grand-kids favorite PaPa. The bad thing about getting old is not the years, sagging skin, aches and pains, etc. It the loss, most of my family are gone I have a few nieces , nephews but everyone I grew up with are gone , and I miss them them so much. So spend as must time you can with your loved ones , because you might have to relive those memories for a long time ! Namaste
Thank you so much for making this video, i am 42 and like you, not married, unattached and with no kids and i intend to stay like that and i do wonder sometimes about a lot of the same things you talked about and thinking its just a me problem but its so great to see that there’s a whole lot of women that feel the same way. But i am sure we are all going to be fine breaking the mold and breaking society’s expectations and aging gracefully but being who we want to be at any age. So kelly ann thank you so much for always being so honest and raw about everything 🤍🤍 (and old deftones is awesome!! I agree 1000%)