Yep. Fucking loved this. I'm autistic and have alexithymia and the level of detail in this guided inner tour really helped me to shine a light in some hitherto unexcavated antichambers of my own. Thank you so much for sharing.
Yas! Relatable. I'm a a late-diagnosed AuDHD and the amount of self-discovery and understanding of how/why my brain works the way it does has been incredible. I JUST started therapy about 3 weeks (at age 33) and my therapist and I are just starting to explore IFS. I can't wait to dive in and start piecing my inner "family members" together!
I love how open and introspective this is! I can relate to a lot of it. I also found myself wondering why I don’t actively name the parts of myself, and then realized that at this point in my life, I’ve gotten really good at not comparmenalizing myself as much. It’s interesting that defining and naming parts can be more or less helpful depending on one’s experience or the time in one’s life
Can relate....was always told that I'm intelligent and creative, and it screwed me over because it made me have a fixed mindset for a while and now I'm trying to figure out how to maintain growth mindset...
I ❤ Dizzy McWooWoo! I have one of my own and she buys a pile of stickers, loves pink, and just wants to color and play in the bubble bath for hours. I found myself getting emotional while you were talking about Dizzy. I so appreciate this video and you. I've been watching you for years and i still regularly go back and re watch so much of your content. Your videos are what i reach for when I'm at my lowest. You truly embody The Healer energy for me. Thank you sincerely.
Oof that destined healer archetype is so relatable. I can really struggle to disengage from dwelling on friends' problem stuff and how I may be able to help with my suggestions/insight.
I have three avatars, the vinegar lady, the very much older self who reads palms by the ocean, and my body, who is basically a doppelganger. Today I am working with the vinegar lady because I want to do a detox
as usual, your videos are on perfect divine time for me. this is immensely helpful for my own self reflection - and i’m feeling delighted that this approach of analyzing both the light and dark sides of each part is self-celebratory and not just entirely shadow work-y (scorpio south node here! hehe). love this balance, adore you and wishing you love all over your life!!
I absolutely *love* parts work, I think it's one of the most fascinating studies we can ever do. I've been doing it completely unknowingly since I was a teen, back when I jokingly named 3 aspects of myself - aspects that are still very much alive today. I feel a strong resonance with the Supreme Court Justice, my own version of her is called Wigfrid after the Viking warrior character of the game Don't Starve, and with Dizzy Mc Woowoo as well - I haven't formally met or named that part of me but there's definitely a strong voice in there saying adulthood is bs and f*** responsibilities and all that. I'm really passionate about people talking about parts of themselves, I find it brings so much depth to how I see and understand them and again, fascinating. Thanks so much for sharing with us all these wonderful facets of yourself, Kelly-Ann
this is amazing! definitely related to the angry teenager! she drives the wheel a lot, part of the problem rofl. i’m starting to become aware of her. i love how you broke all this down, i am going to start journaling about these parts of myself and understand them better. thank you for being so vulnerable ❤
🎉So happy I watched this video at this very moment in my life. I learned so much about you and about myself. I am disabled and have a wheelchair in my life and I mourn the loss of being a total bad ass. My life has completely changed and I have had to work very strongly with my inner child. I need people in a way I never wanted and this can be or just horrible. I play dressup and wear wigs and dress like a gangster or whatever it takes to show up. I have found art that has always been a big part of my life is an even bigger part at this point. It helps me deal with physical pain and mental pain. I also have found a new love of old films. I take this very seriously because it's like a new job for me to contribute my thoughts and reviews on film is an expression of myself that I can share. It like a new job for me and it's also something I love. I am a huge Charlie Chaplin fan and Buster Keaton is also a new love. Greta Garbo is my favorite woman on film and Marlene Dietrich along with so many others. I am still so passionate about things but unable to do so many things I miss. I am conflicted in so many ways but still show up when I am needed. I have more down time than up time, which leads to depression and disappointment. I just have to roll with it. Lol Thanks for sharing all your parts. Maybe i should name all of my parts and all the parts i have lost and the new ones I have gained. It al so very interesting I could go on forever but I will not even go there. I just think about some more and diffinity name them. Much love heading your way honey!!!❤❤❤❤
Relate a lot to what you've said here (also have multiple disabilities and use a wheelchair). It's like, what do we even do with those parts of ourselves that crave what is no longer accessible? I love art and film also and have discovered all kinds of things to occupy myself over the years but sometimes I just want to go for a run, climb a tree or ride a bike through the woods. I've yet to find anything that's as exhilarating as the feeling of the wind on your face while galloping through a field on a horse. Anyway, just wanted to send a nod of solidarity! :)
@@libramoon9358 Thanks so much for chiming in about how difficult it is to find yourself after years of not being disabled. I have done all those things in my past life a well. I miss my legs that got me all around for so many wonderful years of my lovely life. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I love this video haha. I loved the end where you call out people who may feel like this is weird but are still here. That had me laughing so hard!!! lol So, my biggest alterslef that I have identified is called "The Good Girl" she talks to people with a sweet light voice, she wants to hug everyone she see's, she is innocent and oblivious sometimes. People usually say she's a church girl, she's a good girl (hence the name). When she's in shadow she NEVER stands up for herself, she hates confrontations, she'd rather take 2nd or 3rd place then to hurt someone else's pride, she's essentially a doormat. :( . I do have another side that has been trying so hard to come through and she identifies as, "The Sensual Self," she yearns to be seen as a grown, woman. She loves her curves and wants to flaunt them, she likes being flirty, and giggly with men, she wants to be courted and dined. She wants roses and soft music. Her shadow side is the want for multiple men and no strings attached, she wants one guy for laughs, one for dinner, and one for bed time. She desired to be the most sensual woman in the room and can even look down at other woman who arent on her level. HOWEVER "The Good Girl," is so intense and so dominant that she's suppressed the sensual woman for YEARSSSSS (Ya'll... I'm engaged and nearing my 30's). My true self knows that all aspect of myself deserved to be heard but its been hard getting out of good girl mentality. :/ There are others but these are most dominant. Thanks for such a thought-provoking video!!!
Thanks for talking about this interesting topic. I learned about the so-called “Schema therapy” in my behaviour therapy. Schema therapy has been developed by Jeffrey E. Young. It analyzes inner modes, like dysfunctional child modes and dysfunctional “parent modes” (which may or may not have their origin in your real parents or other figures of authority). This form of therapy aims to strengthen the healthy adult mode, fight against dysfunctional modes and overcome destructive or unhealthy behavourial and thinking patterns. For this, I can very much recommend the self-help book “Breaking Negative Thinking Patterns: A Schema Therapy Self-Help and Support Book” by Hannie van Genderen, Gitta Jacob and Laura Seebauer.
Goodly timed. I recently started delving into shadow again (reading Existential Kink), and we're approaching IFS in my therapy sessions. I need to try this exercise and figure out how to define myself again...
I found this topic to be so darn interesting that it gave me an idea. So I grabbed a deck and pulled 7 cards, each to represent one part of me. And wow, was it insightful in some ways and unsurprising in others! Thank you for the inspiration and for opening yourself to us all. 🖤💋
I ADORE this, I think I need to do this so bad. This would be so useful for me to help me get over some of my shadows and difficulties. I think mine will take a lot of animal names, like the guard dog and the stray cat. Gonna sit with this one today! Thank you Kelly Ann!!
You’ve inspired me to think more deeply about my own parts. I’ve actually been letting that slide for a while. Most of my parts seem different from what you describe, but I definitely have my own versions of both The Ascetic and Dizzy. They have fun together (!). I have my own rebellious teenager, too, who, hilariously, can never settle on a name. It always begins with K, though.
oooh the healer resonates with me so much, especially in shadow. Definitely something I need to work with. OMG totally feel the gifted kid syndrome too. Oh wow, just you mentioning the angry teenager made me cry - definitely a part of myself that I have pushed into shadow because the intensity of her emotion and all she went through just feels so much. Time to stop leaving her alone I think. oh god, yep, I feel the lone wolf shadow side too - I would absolutely prefer to just get on with it and do it myself. I need to discover how much of this is Autism and how much is manageable for me because I'm wary of forcing myself to collaborate and people when actually for my Autism it would be not the best choice.
I found out about my parts (exactly the term I used, never alter for some reason) in my late teens early 20s following the distance and then death of an abuser, I was mainly dissociated and thrown in the trunk of my proverbial car while the other parts took over for most of my youth. What you're describing sounds less like Internal Family Systems and more like Dissociative Identity Disorder - same kinda thing, but I do have D.I.D. with 9 parts and utilize IFS techniques to help with integration. I honestly think most everyone has D.I.D. to some extent or another. So happy you made this
To me this is probably one of your best videos. It came at a time when I’m doing all lot of inner reflection and I could certainly identify myself with a few of the traits you described (the healer, the hopeless romantic, the lone wolf and the tank). I definitely would love to go deeper and explore more into the Internal Family Systems. Thank you for the good stuff, this video is absolute gold! ❤
I love this. Thank you for sharing! I couldn’t access my inner child until I went through my inner teen, so I’m most familiar with her. There’s two aspects to her: like 13-14 years old and like 16/17 years old versions. I attribute it to moving when I was 15 and I got to remake myself the summer I was 15. They get their way a lot and I have a tarot deck for connecting with them.
I am rewatching and oh my... I’ve been doing this since I was 18 I think. I am 34 now. I have recognized a few of my parts but not as well as you. You are a great inspiration. My family tells me, that I am too complicated and I shouldn’t waste my time dwelling on my problems, but when I see you give yourself a permission to pay as much attention to your inner world I feel less complicated😀 and more free to “dwell” there as well. 🙏♥️. PS.: I do also have my Dizzy, Lone Wolf and Sovereign Bitch 😁Never have I described them as accurate as you did yours. 👏🙏Love and big thanks from the Czech Republic🌺
i can SO resonate with your Hopeless Romantic part // and, chile, i swear me and Dizzy Mc Woowoo went thru school together as best friends on some dimension,, love her 🍉🍦😻🧡
I am so glad you mentioned IFS! I've been looking for an IFS based therapist and couldn't find a good one so I did parts work on my own a bit, through journaling mainly. I can definittely see how my inner rebel with a cause protects my inner child! :D I can also relate to sovereign bitch! So badass! :D Love it! I feel like it's so powerful to work with parts and archetypes....and I'm starting to incorporate that into my witchcraft with more success than I planned for hehe! :D It's making me feel more whole and more accepting towards myself! Self knowledge is power. I also just got a Siouxsie and the Banshees candle for my altar! chaos witches forever! Sorry, I just saw this video and very excited about it!
btw, Kelly-Ann...we have like 5 or 6 common parts :D and I can kind of sense that you might be able to relate to my "rebel with a cause" part in ways, especially because of your activism and rebellion against oppressive authority...
I feel like maybe my "rebel with a cause" part is part sovereign bitch and part healer! I think it's interesting to see how people categorize their "parts" differently!
you are the only one i see that can help me everyone turned me away, even the churches, psychotherapists, and the like, all turned me away telling me to figure it out myself which made me more of a mess than i am
Hi Kelly-Ann, Great video. Thanks for sharing. I started reading “Introduction to Internal Family Systems” by Richard Schwartz, PhD last week. As I read along, I’ve been wondering how parts work differs from shadow work, and it made me think of you. So, I found it really interesting that this morning TH-cam suggested that I watch this video from you. I love that you talked about the light and shadow of your parts, which I’ve not seen addressed in other IFS information resources. I’ve come to IFS for tools to work with unhelpful food behaviors.
Thank you for sharing your parts with us ❤ I resonate with so many of the things you said. Right now, I'm working a lot w teenage me (she's on fire in a tornado off the shore, when in shadow ☄️). Hard stuff but immeasurably rewarding for working with parts in present reactions
Will watch later when I got time. Familiar with parts work to a extent given I am part of a system, so this is actually kind of cool to see it be covered here.
That's awesome. I hope that you feel it's a sensitive portrayal, as I am not part of a system as such, but I knew that people who are may watch this. x
lol somehow I missed this vid when it came out but its what I really needed today. I woke up with an unidentified angry foul mood. Ive been sitting here feeling a little guilty about it because its not "me" and I feel unreasonably snappy, but obviously theres something in me poking and wants attention 🙄
I so valued this conversation today Kelly-Ann. Thank you for your vulnerability about your parts. I definitely see aspects of myself in so many of them, especially Dizzy Mc woo woo 😆 and the angry teenager... I'm 42 and sometimes I feel like I got to 15 and flat out refused to go any further! Which I know isn't true becos an aspect of adult me got stuck for a long hot minute there in the seriousness of adulting and mumming. Now that the kids are growing, the angry teenager and dizzy Mc woo parts of me feel like they've all but taken over again. I can't wait to do some journalling around that and really explore that! Thank you for the inspiration to start identifying whose at the helm!
Loved this! I identified with a lot of those parts and got some useful insights about how to appreciate their light sides and deal with the dark bits! ❤
I love this!!!! The inner family systems is something my therapist just brought up with me a few weeks ago, so I'm just beginning to explore my different parts, and to make sure my capitol "S" Self is in the driver's seat as often as possible. :) Great video, Kelly-Ann!!!
I definitely resonate with this and the parts you talk about are also things I talk about with my therapist just haven't went into them enough yet I don't think. Thank you for sharing this it definitely helped me not feel as alone and reminded me to be easier with myself in the process
I love this idea of an inner family. I’ve worked with my inner child and teenager, and this inspires me to think about exploring other inner parts of me. Thanks as always for your inspiring videos.
So a few of the spirits in my court have multiple aspects. These aspects even have other names but they are all apart of one spirot. That's how I've started to view myself too. For example one aspect of my main spirit guid is that of a pirate woman who controls sharks and is incredibly violent and dominant. This aspect has its own name. Anorher aspect is one of child rearing mother who is stern but understanding, this aspect also has a name. There are many many asoects all with their own personalities and names but they are one under a single name as well. I'm just like that too, well not quite as grand or fanciful haha. Heck maybe I should write down my aspects and name them.
Such an interesting topic, so much food for thought! And thank you Kelly-Ann for sharing this with all of us even though it's very personal. This makes me want to take out my journal and make a list of all of my parts - I am somewhat aware of most of them, but this has inspired me to actually take time to really get to know each part of me, little or small.
I've never thought about examining myself in this way. I think naming my archetypes could be helpful. What's interesting is that I could use a lot of the same names you gave yours but they would manifest in very different ways. Like I can still connect with my angry teenager but she is more sullen and insecure and feels very different but not at all ok about it. She feels worthless. That teenager is pretty quiet but she still pops up and taps me on the shoulder every so often. I'm going to think on all of this and naming my people.
Love this topic!!! Been recently learning a lot about this through Focusing and personifying emotions and subconscious sensations. I have two known parts I call Innocence and Misery. In their shadows they’ve kept me in limbo between childhood freedom and bliss vs the adulthood hardships of responsibly. I identify with a lot of the parts you’ve mentioned and hope to take inventory of each and every personal piece of Self as you did today. Much love!!
i find the idea of "parts" quite hard to reconcile with my actual experience of my mind, but i do have one: he's not so much a part of me as an "ideal self" from previous time. i think when i was 13-17 or so, and especially from 15 onwards as i came to realise i'm trans, i was developing a sort of alter-ego, not one i ever experienced directly and certainly not one i pretended to be in any way, but in the sense that i was drawn to fashion/habits/etc that either felt impossible due to me being afab or that didn't align with who i felt myself to be in reality or that i couldn't do for fear of repercussions. and so at the age of maybe 21 or 22 i found myself thinking of these traits i'd set aside as having coalesced into this guy i sometimes wanted to be. he's a trans guy (i'm nonbinary and transmasculine, he's a binary trans guy, probably because i felt (erroneously) that that would be easier, a more acceptable kind of trans to be), he's emo/goth/grunge as hell, he's extremely skinny and has very unhealthy attitudes towards food, he's quietly intelligent rather than the kind of loud obnoxious nerd i always was, he's quiet but when he does speak he's sarcastic and witty... he looks a little like a young colin morgan, to be honest, because i was obsessed with merlin as a kid. he self harms, and smokes weed, and skips school to go to art galleries, and he's in a band. age-wise, he's stuck at 17 or so, even now. he's not my current ideal self, he's my 13-17 year old self's ideal self. i still sometimes find myself doing things he'd do, wearing what he'd wear, etc. i've had to try to divide up his personality and likes into things that are safe to indulge in (clothes, music, etc) and things that aren't (i'm just over a year clean from self harm right now, and my previous record was 3 years 11 months!, i've never smoked anything*, i usually manage not to act on the thoughts of starving myself, etc). *not that i have any issue with people smoking weed in general, it's just a bad idea for me personally.
Wow...20 minutes in and I'm relating to every single thing. I'm so grateful for you 🖤 I'd love to see a video from you on self soothing. The older I get, the more I struggle with this. And I have a pain regulation/nervous system disorder that pushes me into the red all day every day. Sometimes I crave comfort so desperately I cannot concentrate. Lately I've noticed a newish part...she's so mean and reactive...I don't understand her yet. She kinda scares me. It's the wrong kind of destructive energy, every time. All i see is shadow 😮💨 it's a bit like your shadow judge. I would like to be best friends and playmates with dizzy mcwoowoo...I know and love that part very well🙏
Gifted Child problems, it's a real thing, this one psychiatrist TH-camr/Twitch streamer, HealthyGamerGG acknowledges it a lot. I have some parts too, I think your explanation of your parts helped me see a few more in myself. The ones I knew about before were this "Orphan child" type one, like an Oliver Twist character or something, my sister noticed it first, I'll say things in a really sad, pathetic way like "may I have some crumbs if it wouldn't be too much trouble?" or something like that, like... I'm not trying to be sad when I say it, but it'll kinda come out like that... I'm also very familiar with a part I call my Inner Serial Killer, and it just hates people, but, and idk if this is other aspects of myself restraining it or if it developed a code, but it only activates around assholes and people being rude and cruel to myself or others, and then it just wants to eviscerate them. So it's almost got a protective element to it, but just a lil too intensely. XD It would want to murder itself if it hurt someone who was just goofing around being themselves and not hurting anyone. I've also got a more charismatic side that just wants to chill and have fun and make friends and all that good stuff. The closest to romantic I have is just... thinking like 'if I do X, then it'll result in Y grand result" type stuff, but I don't have like a romantic side like lovey dovey shit. xD Romance like that bores me to death. I love deep platonic friendships and stuff like that, but not romantic partner type stuff. The way you describe your healer, I definitely have one of those; I love helping people feel better and often try to help people out a lot and be there for them and listen to their shit and whatnot, especially because I'm also someone not afraid to go into deeper or darker places where some people are at and need to be met at. I also have a bit of a Wunderkind, or an aspect that likes to have my talents recognized, and also to be worthy of any praise for any talents; it expects a lot from me and I think its shadow side could be that, especially when I'm drawing for someone else and I share it to them, before I get a response, I kinda drive myself up the wall worrying that it sucks and they don't like it. I think I also have a bit of a Sovereign Bitch. An aspect that really loves my freedom and hates impositions on it; I can get quite oppositional when it's being threatened, especially if it's for what I perceive to be a stupid reason - if there's like aaaa.... "Do X because Y reason that makes sense and helps efficiency of the tasks" then it's like oh okay, I can understand the reason behind doing that, and it's not a stupid bullshit reason, so I'll easily and gladly follow that change. I also sometimes have a Lone Wolf, but it's not terribly strong... I do more often like being around folks or talking with someone, but on occasion, I like having my own time doing my own thing in my own world; that might more depend on my company though. I also have a Tank, but I'd instead call it a Determinator, I like getting things done and seeing things through to the end, and sometimes that drive can overtake me and it'll push me to stay up later or stay longer at work and stuff like that. I can be very stubborn. xD idk if I have my own dizzy mc woo woo side, but I think it might just be tied to my Sovereign Bitch, and my Sovereign Bitch is also a Goofy Bitch a lot of the time. Very serious about the freedom to be a goofy dumb ass weirdo. Anyways, sorry for rambling, this was a fun video and fun to think about with myself! C:
Hi, Kelly. :D Your content came up at the right time. I've been going through a pretty crappy couple days. Endured something traumwtic in regards to my relationship, to put it vaguely. But I picked up tarot again because of it. I feel tarot journaling has been helping. The only question is how to cut the relationship out of my life, because he's hurt me so much already that I'm almost apathetic. Since watching this video, I absolutely love the concept of internal family systems. Unsure of what archetypal parts I'm made of. I may have to watch this video again and list down which archetypes of yours resemble my own. :3
How interesting and timely. I've been making a joke recently that my "parts" or as I sort of flippantly say "the voices in my head" are a chorus or parliament of elves all clamoring to be heard and lead the court in my head. I've been starting to name them too. I still view them as sort of outside entities, identities I can talk to and appeal to, but they're also different perspectives and reactions I have to things. Like, I have a stereotypically "hot" guy/elf/fae whatever inside who typically advocates for poor choices but he also bolsters me up when im feeling insecure about my looks. There's a really ancient (like he has a skull for a head lol) advisor that tries to remind me of sensible actions. I also divide the identities up into the seasons, Spring is pleasure driven, Sumer is wrath and fire, Autumn is intellect and trying to outsmart whatever problem I have, and Winter is just quiet honesty and esteems for grace and gentleness even when things are bleak. This is so cool. Thank you for being brave and vulnerable and honest in sharing this video. All the best vibes.
Several days and several watches later!!! Still so inspiring. We share a few shards of self and some others' of yours spoke to different ones of mine... Have you ever found The Ascetic came up right after an episode with The Tank? So interesting. The Ascetic is def one of mine. However, I have found other shadows with mine. 💒 I'm considering doing a VR!!! (if youre ok with that) ❤❤❤
Loved it. Can relate to some of these. But also, I just realized how different my parts are from your parts too. Some of my parts are: The Protector/Warrior (she dresses in fatigues, lives in the forest with 2 large wolf dogs and smokes cigarettes): she watches everything and decides if the others can come out. The hider: she retreats into her cave and won't come out unless someone comes in to get her and shows her everything is emotionally safe in the world, The Librarian: she shelves and recollects every detail and is quiet and likes routine. She can be rigid if things aren't just as she left them, The Wild Child: hates routine & boring things, daydreams about the next interesting thing or love, likes rainbows and ombre, likes attention and wants to be a stripper when she grows up, The Mother: she comes out when younglings do stupid things or I have a herd of animals around me. She's on it, responsible, has a mama bear inside her and can slice you with one look....She can be a beast if triggered correctly. The healer: loving, good listener, great at being non-judgemental and holding space for others, wants to do good in the world- she feels a lot of pain and carries the world on her shoulders....that's it for now :)
32:07 omg yes, first I found my teenage part, 16 yr old purple pink pixie cut queer girl. She thinks of herself as a protector. Very avoidant. Very hyper independent. Wanted to just go away and do psychedelics and explore her spirituality. Also when I really got into my own activism. Do all of us with a wound over-achieving child have a rebellion bad ass teenager part? 😂💜
Omg also yes, my teenage part also waits to see if my sovereignty will be respected before I go too far into something.. it’s so huge for her. And when it’s not in the slightest way after trusing it would be she comes out blazing
I feel like i've just been given a warm blanket of reasurrance! Definitely resonate with u. ❤ Thank you so much for delivering such insightful content! I can't help notice the H symbol on the wall. May I know what it stands for?
I just started therapy a couple of months ago, after 45 years of trauma that has been bubbling around inside since childhood. There's no problem "talking" to my therapist, but talking about feelings or past events hasn't even really surfaced yet. She would be blown away if I were capable of expressing and knowing myself half as well as you've done here. I am SO proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself. This work is NOT easy. Thank you for sharing this. It definitely needed to be heard.
big milkie professor guilty by design bunz gold mawayd ATK greedicakes krimi delicious buff tann kweesha dark mark (these are just some of my parts) thank you for sharing yours!!
Omg Kelly I’ve only just come across you in this cozy part of the internet. I was a tank for so long and my health had to tell her to stop ✋ are you a Taurus ♉️? I am now a lone wolf trying to discipline and anchor 😊 I would love the opportunity to work with you if that is a possibility? ❤
As a genderfluid person I can 100% confirm this concept of Internal family systems. I actually used to think that I had some form of DID (minus the extreme abuse that went with it)
GODDESS I RELATE WAAAAYYYY TOO FUCKING HARD!!! So much of this bizarrely mirrors my parts and I’ve thought of myself in this way forever. You may have just shined a really aggressive light on an integral part of me (my Dizzy which I’ll be calling Whimsy Fluff lol). I aslo have a part of me I call The Hermit, Their’s the wounded healer and so many others that I won’t get into. All this to say I adored this video and will probably rewatch because I was doing a lot of reacting in my head in a super hyper way. 🍄☁️🐻
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🌟 The video is about exploring different parts of the speaker's personality. 00:45 🧩 Internal Family Systems is a psychological concept where an individual's self is divided into various parts, each with distinct motivations and traits. 04:01 🔍 The speaker believes in integrating and understanding their different parts rather than repressing or shaming them. 05:37 🚍 The speaker sees their core self as the driver of their life, with different parts as passengers influencing decisions. 06:48 🗺️ The video will discuss the speaker's different well-understood parts with timestamps for each. 08:12 💆♀️ The "Destined Healer" part of the speaker involves providing help and support to others, both professionally and personally. 09:08 🤲 The speaker acknowledges the positive aspects of their healing role, including holding space and making a difference in others' lives. 10:16 👑 The shadow of the "Destined Healer" is over-giving and seeking validation through helping others. 11:28 🚁 The speaker sometimes believes they are the only one who can help, leading to ego and boundary issues. 12:53 📖 The "Hopeless Romantic" aspect of the speaker involves idealizing and romanticizing relationships, both platonic and romantic. 14:12 💔 The shadow of the "Hopeless Romantic" is giving people too many chances and overlooking their flaws. 16:08 🎭 The speaker's "Daddy's Princess" or "Six-Year-Old Me" part is confident in showing skills and seeking validation. 18:08 🌟 The positive side of "Daddy's Princess" includes encouragement and support for others to shine. 19:28 💬 The shadow aspect of "Daddy's Princess" is an inflated desire for approval and praise, sometimes leading to boundary issues. 20:52 🌟 Six-year-old self seeks approval through performance, struggles with critique. 23:13 🌟 The "wunderkind" part driven by early skills identification and praise, pushes for excellence. 28:47 🌟 The Angry Teenager part channels artistic and political expression, guarded and quick to anger. 32:26 🌟 The Sovereign part embodies non-conformity, values independence, challenges societal norms. 35:42 🌟 The Lone Wolf part thrives in solitude, comfortable alone, guards against compromise. 38:28 🌟 The Tank part revels in hedonistic pleasure, infectious joy, but struggles with excess and reality. 41:18 🎉 The "Tank" part seeks wild partying and fun experiences without concern for consequences. 41:33 😴 The Tank part's unwillingness to link mental and physical health to partying can risk sleep deprivation and neglecting responsibilities. 42:02 ⚖️ Fear of missing out (FOMO) can lead to prioritizing fun over responsibilities and result in guilt. 42:28 🧘 The "Ankarus" or "Ascetic" seeks simplicity, spiritual solitude, and discipline over reckless hedonism. 43:09 🤔 Finding balance between extremes is crucial, and emergency "Retreat" mode should be avoided for better self-care. 43:36 🌟 Ankarus mode helps regulate party lifestyle, focus on self-care, and embrace the pleasure of a devoted spiritual life. 45:11 ⚖️ The Ankarus tendency to demonize the outside world can be an excuse to avoid personal responsibility. 45:26 🖤 Ankarus's extreme black-and-white thinking can lead to excessive self-deprivation and rigidity. 46:05 🕰️ Overusing the instinct for simplicity might lead to excessive self-deprivation and avoidance of enjoyable experiences. 46:32 🌙 "Dizzy McWoo" is the playful, imaginative part that seeks escapism but struggles with adult responsibilities. 53:58 🤝 Dizzy McWoo may avoid addressing conflicts, seeking only playful interactions and avoiding hard conversations. 54:43 ⚖️ Acknowledging and addressing Shadow parts like Dizzy McWoo is essential to maintaining healthy relationships. 55:23 💪 Despite challenges, embracing different parts and their characteristics can lead to personal growth and self-understanding.
I relate to sovereign bitch so much. Since meeting the love of my life, I have been uncovering a lot of the shadow sides to my parts and trying to reconcile how they have helped and also made me an asshole and how to work with this to be my best self. Such an amazing video thank you!
Yep. Fucking loved this.
I'm autistic and have alexithymia and the level of detail in this guided inner tour really helped me to shine a light in some hitherto unexcavated antichambers of my own.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Yas! Relatable. I'm a a late-diagnosed AuDHD and the amount of self-discovery and understanding of how/why my brain works the way it does has been incredible. I JUST started therapy about 3 weeks (at age 33) and my therapist and I are just starting to explore IFS. I can't wait to dive in and start piecing my inner "family members" together!
Everyone should explore these things about themselves
I love how open and introspective this is! I can relate to a lot of it. I also found myself wondering why I don’t actively name the parts of myself, and then realized that at this point in my life, I’ve gotten really good at not comparmenalizing myself as much. It’s interesting that defining and naming parts can be more or less helpful depending on one’s experience or the time in one’s life
Telling a child they are brilliant at a young age can fuck you up, yes, this! Thank you for saying so!
❤❤❤❤
Can relate....was always told that I'm intelligent and creative, and it screwed me over because it made me have a fixed mindset for a while and now I'm trying to figure out how to maintain growth mindset...
I love the concept of identifying the different parts of ourselves. It seems like it will be a good exercise and I’m inspired to try this 🙏🏻❤️
I ❤ Dizzy McWooWoo! I have one of my own and she buys a pile of stickers, loves pink, and just wants to color and play in the bubble bath for hours. I found myself getting emotional while you were talking about Dizzy. I so appreciate this video and you. I've been watching you for years and i still regularly go back and re watch so much of your content. Your videos are what i reach for when I'm at my lowest. You truly embody The Healer energy for me. Thank you sincerely.
Oof that destined healer archetype is so relatable. I can really struggle to disengage from dwelling on friends' problem stuff and how I may be able to help with my suggestions/insight.
Insightful, honest, and brave. Thank you so much.
I have three avatars, the vinegar lady, the very much older self who reads palms by the ocean, and my body, who is basically a doppelganger. Today I am working with the vinegar lady because I want to do a detox
I love this.
as usual, your videos are on perfect divine time for me. this is immensely helpful for my own self reflection - and i’m feeling delighted that this approach of analyzing both the light and dark sides of each part is self-celebratory and not just entirely shadow work-y (scorpio south node here! hehe). love this balance, adore you and wishing you love all over your life!!
I absolutely *love* parts work, I think it's one of the most fascinating studies we can ever do. I've been doing it completely unknowingly since I was a teen, back when I jokingly named 3 aspects of myself - aspects that are still very much alive today. I feel a strong resonance with the Supreme Court Justice, my own version of her is called Wigfrid after the Viking warrior character of the game Don't Starve, and with Dizzy Mc Woowoo as well - I haven't formally met or named that part of me but there's definitely a strong voice in there saying adulthood is bs and f*** responsibilities and all that. I'm really passionate about people talking about parts of themselves, I find it brings so much depth to how I see and understand them and again, fascinating. Thanks so much for sharing with us all these wonderful facets of yourself, Kelly-Ann
this is amazing! definitely related to the angry teenager! she drives the wheel a lot, part of the problem rofl. i’m starting to become aware of her. i love how you broke all this down, i am going to start journaling about these parts of myself and understand them better. thank you for being so vulnerable ❤
🎉So happy I watched this video at this very moment in my life. I learned so much about you and about myself. I am disabled and have a wheelchair in my life and I mourn the loss of being a total bad ass. My life has completely changed and I have had to work very strongly with my inner child. I need people in a way I never wanted and this can be or just horrible. I play dressup and wear wigs and dress like a gangster or whatever it takes to show up. I have found art that has always been a big part of my life is an even bigger part at this point. It helps me deal with physical pain and mental pain. I also have found a new love of old films. I take this very seriously because it's like a new job for me to contribute my thoughts and reviews on film is an expression of myself that I can share. It like a new job for me and it's also something I love. I am a huge Charlie Chaplin fan and Buster Keaton is also a new love. Greta Garbo is my favorite woman on film and Marlene Dietrich along with so many others. I am still so passionate about things but unable to do so many things I miss. I am conflicted in so many ways but still show up when I am needed. I have more down time than up time, which leads to depression and disappointment. I just have to roll with it. Lol Thanks for sharing all your parts. Maybe i should name all of my parts and all the parts i have lost and the new ones I have gained. It al so very interesting I could go on forever but I will not even go there. I just think about some more and diffinity name them. Much love heading your way honey!!!❤❤❤❤
Relate a lot to what you've said here (also have multiple disabilities and use a wheelchair). It's like, what do we even do with those parts of ourselves that crave what is no longer accessible? I love art and film also and have discovered all kinds of things to occupy myself over the years but sometimes I just want to go for a run, climb a tree or ride a bike through the woods. I've yet to find anything that's as exhilarating as the feeling of the wind on your face while galloping through a field on a horse. Anyway, just wanted to send a nod of solidarity! :)
@@libramoon9358 Thanks so much for chiming in about how difficult it is to find yourself after years of not being disabled. I have done all those things in my past life a well. I miss my legs that got me all around for so many wonderful years of my lovely life. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Ooh so happy to see these comments. Fellow spoonie here. I mourn the continuous loss of my abled body every day 😪
I love this video haha. I loved the end where you call out people who may feel like this is weird but are still here. That had me laughing so hard!!! lol
So, my biggest alterslef that I have identified is called "The Good Girl" she talks to people with a sweet light voice, she wants to hug everyone she see's, she is innocent and oblivious sometimes. People usually say she's a church girl, she's a good girl (hence the name). When she's in shadow she NEVER stands up for herself, she hates confrontations, she'd rather take 2nd or 3rd place then to hurt someone else's pride, she's essentially a doormat. :( .
I do have another side that has been trying so hard to come through and she identifies as, "The Sensual Self," she yearns to be seen as a grown, woman. She loves her curves and wants to flaunt them, she likes being flirty, and giggly with men, she wants to be courted and dined. She wants roses and soft music. Her shadow side is the want for multiple men and no strings attached, she wants one guy for laughs, one for dinner, and one for bed time. She desired to be the most sensual woman in the room and can even look down at other woman who arent on her level. HOWEVER "The Good Girl," is so intense and so dominant that she's suppressed the sensual woman for YEARSSSSS (Ya'll... I'm engaged and nearing my 30's). My true self knows that all aspect of myself deserved to be heard but its been hard getting out of good girl mentality. :/
There are others but these are most dominant. Thanks for such a thought-provoking video!!!
This video came at the perfect time to refresh my perspective on self-reflection, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this ❤️
Thanks for talking about this interesting topic. I learned about the so-called “Schema therapy” in my behaviour therapy. Schema therapy has been developed by Jeffrey E. Young. It analyzes inner modes, like dysfunctional child modes and dysfunctional “parent modes” (which may or may not have their origin in your real parents or other figures of authority).
This form of therapy aims to strengthen the healthy adult mode, fight against dysfunctional modes and overcome destructive or unhealthy behavourial and thinking patterns. For this, I can very much recommend the self-help book “Breaking Negative Thinking Patterns: A Schema Therapy Self-Help and Support Book” by Hannie van Genderen, Gitta Jacob and Laura Seebauer.
Goodly timed. I recently started delving into shadow again (reading Existential Kink), and we're approaching IFS in my therapy sessions. I need to try this exercise and figure out how to define myself again...
This was so profound for me and I love it very much! Thank you, Kel! ❤
Your so raw and I love it! 🩷🧜🏽♀️✨️
I think having an understanding of self is both intelligent and powerful!
I found this topic to be so darn interesting that it gave me an idea. So I grabbed a deck and pulled 7 cards, each to represent one part of me. And wow, was it insightful in some ways and unsurprising in others! Thank you for the inspiration and for opening yourself to us all. 🖤💋
Amazing - this is a GREAT exploration to do with Tarot ❤
I ADORE this, I think I need to do this so bad. This would be so useful for me to help me get over some of my shadows and difficulties. I think mine will take a lot of animal names, like the guard dog and the stray cat. Gonna sit with this one today! Thank you Kelly Ann!!
You’ve inspired me to think more deeply about my own parts. I’ve actually been letting that slide for a while. Most of my parts seem different from what you describe, but I definitely have my own versions of both The Ascetic and Dizzy. They have fun together (!). I have my own rebellious teenager, too, who, hilariously, can never settle on a name. It always begins with K, though.
I love IFS ❤ When I saw your post I was excited that you are sharing these & touching on it as a framework.
Truly loved this video and can relate to so much of what you expressed here. Thanks Kelly Ann 💕
I think of you often lovely, cracking on with my chaos magic and tarot, thanks to you ❤ much love from Portugal :) xx
You come to mind often, darling one. Sending lots of love back to Portugal, and energy for your wondrous witchy endeavours xx
oooh the healer resonates with me so much, especially in shadow. Definitely something I need to work with.
OMG totally feel the gifted kid syndrome too.
Oh wow, just you mentioning the angry teenager made me cry - definitely a part of myself that I have pushed into shadow because the intensity of her emotion and all she went through just feels so much. Time to stop leaving her alone I think.
oh god, yep, I feel the lone wolf shadow side too - I would absolutely prefer to just get on with it and do it myself. I need to discover how much of this is Autism and how much is manageable for me because I'm wary of forcing myself to collaborate and people when actually for my Autism it would be not the best choice.
Thank you thank you thank you. Everything you discuss deeply resonates. Much appreciated.
I found out about my parts (exactly the term I used, never alter for some reason) in my late teens early 20s following the distance and then death of an abuser, I was mainly dissociated and thrown in the trunk of my proverbial car while the other parts took over for most of my youth. What you're describing sounds less like Internal Family Systems and more like Dissociative Identity Disorder - same kinda thing, but I do have D.I.D. with 9 parts and utilize IFS techniques to help with integration. I honestly think most everyone has D.I.D. to some extent or another. So happy you made this
How timely again ❤🙏
To me this is probably one of your best videos. It came at a time when I’m doing all lot of inner reflection and I could certainly identify myself with a few of the traits you described (the healer, the hopeless romantic, the lone wolf and the tank). I definitely would love to go deeper and explore more into the Internal Family Systems. Thank you for the good stuff, this video is absolute gold! ❤
Thank you darling, I'm so glad it helped and I agree that it's probably one of my best vids!
@@kelly-annmaddox I mean, all your videos are stellar, but this one in particular really hit home! 😊
I love this. Thank you for sharing! I couldn’t access my inner child until I went through my inner teen, so I’m most familiar with her. There’s two aspects to her: like 13-14 years old and like 16/17 years old versions. I attribute it to moving when I was 15 and I got to remake myself the summer I was 15. They get their way a lot and I have a tarot deck for connecting with them.
I am rewatching and oh my... I’ve been doing this since I was 18 I think. I am 34 now. I have recognized a few of my parts but not as well as you. You are a great inspiration. My family tells me, that I am too complicated and I shouldn’t waste my time dwelling on my problems, but when I see you give yourself a permission to pay as much attention to your inner world I feel less complicated😀 and more free to “dwell” there as well. 🙏♥️. PS.: I do also have my Dizzy, Lone Wolf and Sovereign Bitch 😁Never have I described them as accurate as you did yours. 👏🙏Love and big thanks from the Czech Republic🌺
i can SO resonate with your Hopeless Romantic part // and, chile, i swear me and Dizzy Mc Woowoo went thru school together as best friends on some dimension,, love her 🍉🍦😻🧡
This is soooo interesting and helpfull! Many thanks!❤
I am so glad you mentioned IFS! I've been looking for an IFS based therapist and couldn't find a good one so I did parts work on my own a bit, through journaling mainly. I can definittely see how my inner rebel with a cause protects my inner child! :D I can also relate to sovereign bitch! So badass! :D Love it! I feel like it's so powerful to work with parts and archetypes....and I'm starting to incorporate that into my witchcraft with more success than I planned for hehe! :D It's making me feel more whole and more accepting towards myself! Self knowledge is power. I also just got a Siouxsie and the Banshees candle for my altar! chaos witches forever! Sorry, I just saw this video and very excited about it!
btw, Kelly-Ann...we have like 5 or 6 common parts :D and I can kind of sense that you might be able to relate to my "rebel with a cause" part in ways, especially because of your activism and rebellion against oppressive authority...
I feel like maybe my "rebel with a cause" part is part sovereign bitch and part healer! I think it's interesting to see how people categorize their "parts" differently!
you are the only one i see that can help me everyone turned me away, even the churches, psychotherapists, and the like, all turned me away telling me to figure it out myself which made me more of a mess than i am
Hi Kelly-Ann, Great video. Thanks for sharing. I started reading “Introduction to Internal Family Systems” by Richard Schwartz, PhD last week. As I read along, I’ve been wondering how parts work differs from shadow work, and it made me think of you. So, I found it really interesting that this morning TH-cam suggested that I watch this video from you. I love that you talked about the light and shadow of your parts, which I’ve not seen addressed in other IFS information resources. I’ve come to IFS for tools to work with unhelpful food behaviors.
Thank you for sharing your parts with us ❤ I resonate with so many of the things you said. Right now, I'm working a lot w teenage me (she's on fire in a tornado off the shore, when in shadow ☄️). Hard stuff but immeasurably rewarding for working with parts in present reactions
Will watch later when I got time. Familiar with parts work to a extent given I am part of a system, so this is actually kind of cool to see it be covered here.
That's awesome. I hope that you feel it's a sensitive portrayal, as I am not part of a system as such, but I knew that people who are may watch this. x
Love this video, so interesting! I had never heard of internal family systems. Definitely going to do some more research on it.
lol somehow I missed this vid when it came out but its what I really needed today. I woke up with an unidentified angry foul mood. Ive been sitting here feeling a little guilty about it because its not "me" and I feel unreasonably snappy, but obviously theres something in me poking and wants attention 🙄
I think I'll get back to this soon...
I so valued this conversation today Kelly-Ann. Thank you for your vulnerability about your parts.
I definitely see aspects of myself in so many of them, especially Dizzy Mc woo woo 😆 and the angry teenager... I'm 42 and sometimes I feel like I got to 15 and flat out refused to go any further!
Which I know isn't true becos an aspect of adult me got stuck for a long hot minute there in the seriousness of adulting and mumming.
Now that the kids are growing, the angry teenager and dizzy Mc woo parts of me feel like they've all but taken over again.
I can't wait to do some journalling around that and really explore that!
Thank you for the inspiration to start identifying whose at the helm!
Loved this! I identified with a lot of those parts and got some useful insights about how to appreciate their light sides and deal with the dark bits! ❤
I love this!!!! The inner family systems is something my therapist just brought up with me a few weeks ago, so I'm just beginning to explore my different parts, and to make sure my capitol "S" Self is in the driver's seat as often as possible. :) Great video, Kelly-Ann!!!
This is intriguing! I’m gonna dig into this concept! ♥️
I bloody love this Kelly Ann
I definitely resonate with this and the parts you talk about are also things I talk about with my therapist just haven't went into them enough yet I don't think. Thank you for sharing this it definitely helped me not feel as alone and reminded me to be easier with myself in the process
Loved this thank you for making this video x
I love this idea of an inner family. I’ve worked with my inner child and teenager, and this inspires me to think about exploring other inner parts of me. Thanks as always for your inspiring videos.
So a few of the spirits in my court have multiple aspects. These aspects even have other names but they are all apart of one spirot. That's how I've started to view myself too.
For example one aspect of my main spirit guid is that of a pirate woman who controls sharks and is incredibly violent and dominant. This aspect has its own name. Anorher aspect is one of child rearing mother who is stern but understanding, this aspect also has a name. There are many many asoects all with their own personalities and names but they are one under a single name as well.
I'm just like that too, well not quite as grand or fanciful haha.
Heck maybe I should write down my aspects and name them.
Such an interesting topic, so much food for thought! And thank you Kelly-Ann for sharing this with all of us even though it's very personal. This makes me want to take out my journal and make a list of all of my parts - I am somewhat aware of most of them, but this has inspired me to actually take time to really get to know each part of me, little or small.
I loved this video so much!
I've never thought about examining myself in this way. I think naming my archetypes could be helpful. What's interesting is that I could use a lot of the same names you gave yours but they would manifest in very different ways. Like I can still connect with my angry teenager but she is more sullen and insecure and feels very different but not at all ok about it. She feels worthless. That teenager is pretty quiet but she still pops up and taps me on the shoulder every so often. I'm going to think on all of this and naming my people.
Love this topic!!! Been recently learning a lot about this through Focusing and personifying emotions and subconscious sensations. I have two known parts I call Innocence and Misery. In their shadows they’ve kept me in limbo between childhood freedom and bliss vs the adulthood hardships of responsibly. I identify with a lot of the parts you’ve mentioned and hope to take inventory of each and every personal piece of Self as you did today. Much love!!
i find the idea of "parts" quite hard to reconcile with my actual experience of my mind, but i do have one: he's not so much a part of me as an "ideal self" from previous time. i think when i was 13-17 or so, and especially from 15 onwards as i came to realise i'm trans, i was developing a sort of alter-ego, not one i ever experienced directly and certainly not one i pretended to be in any way, but in the sense that i was drawn to fashion/habits/etc that either felt impossible due to me being afab or that didn't align with who i felt myself to be in reality or that i couldn't do for fear of repercussions. and so at the age of maybe 21 or 22 i found myself thinking of these traits i'd set aside as having coalesced into this guy i sometimes wanted to be. he's a trans guy (i'm nonbinary and transmasculine, he's a binary trans guy, probably because i felt (erroneously) that that would be easier, a more acceptable kind of trans to be), he's emo/goth/grunge as hell, he's extremely skinny and has very unhealthy attitudes towards food, he's quietly intelligent rather than the kind of loud obnoxious nerd i always was, he's quiet but when he does speak he's sarcastic and witty... he looks a little like a young colin morgan, to be honest, because i was obsessed with merlin as a kid. he self harms, and smokes weed, and skips school to go to art galleries, and he's in a band. age-wise, he's stuck at 17 or so, even now. he's not my current ideal self, he's my 13-17 year old self's ideal self. i still sometimes find myself doing things he'd do, wearing what he'd wear, etc. i've had to try to divide up his personality and likes into things that are safe to indulge in (clothes, music, etc) and things that aren't (i'm just over a year clean from self harm right now, and my previous record was 3 years 11 months!, i've never smoked anything*, i usually manage not to act on the thoughts of starving myself, etc).
*not that i have any issue with people smoking weed in general, it's just a bad idea for me personally.
Wow...20 minutes in and I'm relating to every single thing. I'm so grateful for you 🖤
I'd love to see a video from you on self soothing. The older I get, the more I struggle with this. And I have a pain regulation/nervous system disorder that pushes me into the red all day every day. Sometimes I crave comfort so desperately I cannot concentrate.
Lately I've noticed a newish part...she's so mean and reactive...I don't understand her yet. She kinda scares me. It's the wrong kind of destructive energy, every time. All i see is shadow 😮💨 it's a bit like your shadow judge.
I would like to be best friends and playmates with dizzy mcwoowoo...I know and love that part very well🙏
Gifted Child problems, it's a real thing, this one psychiatrist TH-camr/Twitch streamer, HealthyGamerGG acknowledges it a lot.
I have some parts too, I think your explanation of your parts helped me see a few more in myself. The ones I knew about before were this "Orphan child" type one, like an Oliver Twist character or something, my sister noticed it first, I'll say things in a really sad, pathetic way like "may I have some crumbs if it wouldn't be too much trouble?" or something like that, like... I'm not trying to be sad when I say it, but it'll kinda come out like that... I'm also very familiar with a part I call my Inner Serial Killer, and it just hates people, but, and idk if this is other aspects of myself restraining it or if it developed a code, but it only activates around assholes and people being rude and cruel to myself or others, and then it just wants to eviscerate them. So it's almost got a protective element to it, but just a lil too intensely. XD It would want to murder itself if it hurt someone who was just goofing around being themselves and not hurting anyone.
I've also got a more charismatic side that just wants to chill and have fun and make friends and all that good stuff. The closest to romantic I have is just... thinking like 'if I do X, then it'll result in Y grand result" type stuff, but I don't have like a romantic side like lovey dovey shit. xD Romance like that bores me to death. I love deep platonic friendships and stuff like that, but not romantic partner type stuff.
The way you describe your healer, I definitely have one of those; I love helping people feel better and often try to help people out a lot and be there for them and listen to their shit and whatnot, especially because I'm also someone not afraid to go into deeper or darker places where some people are at and need to be met at. I also have a bit of a Wunderkind, or an aspect that likes to have my talents recognized, and also to be worthy of any praise for any talents; it expects a lot from me and I think its shadow side could be that, especially when I'm drawing for someone else and I share it to them, before I get a response, I kinda drive myself up the wall worrying that it sucks and they don't like it. I think I also have a bit of a Sovereign Bitch. An aspect that really loves my freedom and hates impositions on it; I can get quite oppositional when it's being threatened, especially if it's for what I perceive to be a stupid reason - if there's like aaaa.... "Do X because Y reason that makes sense and helps efficiency of the tasks" then it's like oh okay, I can understand the reason behind doing that, and it's not a stupid bullshit reason, so I'll easily and gladly follow that change. I also sometimes have a Lone Wolf, but it's not terribly strong... I do more often like being around folks or talking with someone, but on occasion, I like having my own time doing my own thing in my own world; that might more depend on my company though. I also have a Tank, but I'd instead call it a Determinator, I like getting things done and seeing things through to the end, and sometimes that drive can overtake me and it'll push me to stay up later or stay longer at work and stuff like that. I can be very stubborn. xD idk if I have my own dizzy mc woo woo side, but I think it might just be tied to my Sovereign Bitch, and my Sovereign Bitch is also a Goofy Bitch a lot of the time. Very serious about the freedom to be a goofy dumb ass weirdo.
Anyways, sorry for rambling, this was a fun video and fun to think about with myself! C:
Omg, I really need to explore my parts lol :).
Hi, Kelly. :D Your content came up at the right time.
I've been going through a pretty crappy couple days. Endured something traumwtic in regards to my relationship, to put it vaguely. But I picked up tarot again because of it. I feel tarot journaling has been helping. The only question is how to cut the relationship out of my life, because he's hurt me so much already that I'm almost apathetic.
Since watching this video, I absolutely love the concept of internal family systems. Unsure of what archetypal parts I'm made of. I may have to watch this video again and list down which archetypes of yours resemble my own. :3
How interesting and timely. I've been making a joke recently that my "parts" or as I sort of flippantly say "the voices in my head" are a chorus or parliament of elves all clamoring to be heard and lead the court in my head. I've been starting to name them too. I still view them as sort of outside entities, identities I can talk to and appeal to, but they're also different perspectives and reactions I have to things. Like, I have a stereotypically "hot" guy/elf/fae whatever inside who typically advocates for poor choices but he also bolsters me up when im feeling insecure about my looks. There's a really ancient (like he has a skull for a head lol) advisor that tries to remind me of sensible actions. I also divide the identities up into the seasons, Spring is pleasure driven, Sumer is wrath and fire, Autumn is intellect and trying to outsmart whatever problem I have, and Winter is just quiet honesty and esteems for grace and gentleness even when things are bleak.
This is so cool. Thank you for being brave and vulnerable and honest in sharing this video. All the best vibes.
Several days and several watches later!!! Still so inspiring. We share a few shards of self and some others' of yours spoke to different ones of mine...
Have you ever found The Ascetic came up right after an episode with The Tank? So interesting. The Ascetic is def one of mine. However, I have found other shadows with mine. 💒
I'm considering doing a VR!!! (if youre ok with that) ❤❤❤
I have gone back to your overgiving video countless times. It has been incredibly helpful for me over the years. Thanks :)
❤❤❤
Loved it. Can relate to some of these. But also, I just realized how different my parts are from your parts too. Some of my parts are: The Protector/Warrior (she dresses in fatigues, lives in the forest with 2 large wolf dogs and smokes cigarettes): she watches everything and decides if the others can come out. The hider: she retreats into her cave and won't come out unless someone comes in to get her and shows her everything is emotionally safe in the world, The Librarian: she shelves and recollects every detail and is quiet and likes routine. She can be rigid if things aren't just as she left them, The Wild Child: hates routine & boring things, daydreams about the next interesting thing or love, likes rainbows and ombre, likes attention and wants to be a stripper when she grows up, The Mother: she comes out when younglings do stupid things or I have a herd of animals around me. She's on it, responsible, has a mama bear inside her and can slice you with one look....She can be a beast if triggered correctly. The healer: loving, good listener, great at being non-judgemental and holding space for others, wants to do good in the world- she feels a lot of pain and carries the world on her shoulders....that's it for now :)
32:07 omg yes, first I found my teenage part, 16 yr old purple pink pixie cut queer girl. She thinks of herself as a protector. Very avoidant. Very hyper independent. Wanted to just go away and do psychedelics and explore her spirituality. Also when I really got into my own activism. Do all of us with a wound over-achieving child have a rebellion bad ass teenager part? 😂💜
Omg also yes, my teenage part also waits to see if my sovereignty will be respected before I go too far into something.. it’s so huge for her. And when it’s not in the slightest way after trusing it would be she comes out blazing
I feel like i've just been given a warm blanket of reasurrance! Definitely resonate with u. ❤ Thank you so much for delivering such insightful content! I can't help notice the H symbol on the wall. May I know what it stands for?
I just started therapy a couple of months ago, after 45 years of trauma that has been bubbling around inside since childhood. There's no problem "talking" to my therapist, but talking about feelings or past events hasn't even really surfaced yet. She would be blown away if I were capable of expressing and knowing myself half as well as you've done here. I am SO proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself. This work is NOT easy. Thank you for sharing this. It definitely needed to be heard.
55:36 ehhh Dizzy McWoowoon runs the show around here… I think that might be a problem!!
🤣 For real. It's not good when she becomes the main character.
yay i was number 13 thumbs up
big milkie
professor
guilty by design
bunz
gold
mawayd
ATK
greedicakes
krimi delicious
buff
tann kweesha
dark mark
(these are just some of my parts)
thank you for sharing yours!!
Tann Kweesha ✨️😍🥰🫶🔥
The others sound fascinating 🧐😙
I NEED to work with my inner teen
Im 99% dizzy mcwoowoo haha!
Omg Kelly I’ve only just come across you in this cozy part of the internet. I was a tank for so long and my health had to tell her to stop ✋ are you a Taurus ♉️? I am now a lone wolf trying to discipline and anchor 😊 I would love the opportunity to work with you if that is a possibility? ❤
Gods below! Your witchie beauty is almost painful to behold.
As a genderfluid person I can 100% confirm this concept of Internal family systems. I actually used to think that I had some form of DID (minus the extreme abuse that went with it)
💗💗💗
my dad passed on when i was 6
You should make cards dedicated to your parts!
Hehe, oooh don't tempt me baby
GODDESS I RELATE WAAAAYYYY TOO FUCKING HARD!!! So much of this bizarrely mirrors my parts and I’ve thought of myself in this way forever. You may have just shined a really aggressive light on an integral part of me (my Dizzy which I’ll be calling Whimsy Fluff lol). I aslo have a part of me I call The Hermit, Their’s the wounded healer and so many others that I won’t get into. All this to say I adored this video and will probably rewatch because I was doing a lot of reacting in my head in a super hyper way. 🍄☁️🐻
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🌟 The video is about exploring different parts of the speaker's personality.
00:45 🧩 Internal Family Systems is a psychological concept where an individual's self is divided into various parts, each with distinct motivations and traits.
04:01 🔍 The speaker believes in integrating and understanding their different parts rather than repressing or shaming them.
05:37 🚍 The speaker sees their core self as the driver of their life, with different parts as passengers influencing decisions.
06:48 🗺️ The video will discuss the speaker's different well-understood parts with timestamps for each.
08:12 💆♀️ The "Destined Healer" part of the speaker involves providing help and support to others, both professionally and personally.
09:08 🤲 The speaker acknowledges the positive aspects of their healing role, including holding space and making a difference in others' lives.
10:16 👑 The shadow of the "Destined Healer" is over-giving and seeking validation through helping others.
11:28 🚁 The speaker sometimes believes they are the only one who can help, leading to ego and boundary issues.
12:53 📖 The "Hopeless Romantic" aspect of the speaker involves idealizing and romanticizing relationships, both platonic and romantic.
14:12 💔 The shadow of the "Hopeless Romantic" is giving people too many chances and overlooking their flaws.
16:08 🎭 The speaker's "Daddy's Princess" or "Six-Year-Old Me" part is confident in showing skills and seeking validation.
18:08 🌟 The positive side of "Daddy's Princess" includes encouragement and support for others to shine.
19:28 💬 The shadow aspect of "Daddy's Princess" is an inflated desire for approval and praise, sometimes leading to boundary issues.
20:52 🌟 Six-year-old self seeks approval through performance, struggles with critique.
23:13 🌟 The "wunderkind" part driven by early skills identification and praise, pushes for excellence.
28:47 🌟 The Angry Teenager part channels artistic and political expression, guarded and quick to anger.
32:26 🌟 The Sovereign part embodies non-conformity, values independence, challenges societal norms.
35:42 🌟 The Lone Wolf part thrives in solitude, comfortable alone, guards against compromise.
38:28 🌟 The Tank part revels in hedonistic pleasure, infectious joy, but struggles with excess and reality.
41:18 🎉 The "Tank" part seeks wild partying and fun experiences without concern for consequences.
41:33 😴 The Tank part's unwillingness to link mental and physical health to partying can risk sleep deprivation and neglecting responsibilities.
42:02 ⚖️ Fear of missing out (FOMO) can lead to prioritizing fun over responsibilities and result in guilt.
42:28 🧘 The "Ankarus" or "Ascetic" seeks simplicity, spiritual solitude, and discipline over reckless hedonism.
43:09 🤔 Finding balance between extremes is crucial, and emergency "Retreat" mode should be avoided for better self-care.
43:36 🌟 Ankarus mode helps regulate party lifestyle, focus on self-care, and embrace the pleasure of a devoted spiritual life.
45:11 ⚖️ The Ankarus tendency to demonize the outside world can be an excuse to avoid personal responsibility.
45:26 🖤 Ankarus's extreme black-and-white thinking can lead to excessive self-deprivation and rigidity.
46:05 🕰️ Overusing the instinct for simplicity might lead to excessive self-deprivation and avoidance of enjoyable experiences.
46:32 🌙 "Dizzy McWoo" is the playful, imaginative part that seeks escapism but struggles with adult responsibilities.
53:58 🤝 Dizzy McWoo may avoid addressing conflicts, seeking only playful interactions and avoiding hard conversations.
54:43 ⚖️ Acknowledging and addressing Shadow parts like Dizzy McWoo is essential to maintaining healthy relationships.
55:23 💪 Despite challenges, embracing different parts and their characteristics can lead to personal growth and self-understanding.
I relate to sovereign bitch so much. Since meeting the love of my life, I have been uncovering a lot of the shadow sides to my parts and trying to reconcile how they have helped and also made me an asshole and how to work with this to be my best self. Such an amazing video thank you!