i think i’m in the weird stage now. there are moments i want to get back with my ex but there are plenty of times i think to myself ‘wtf, look at him, he is not that good.’ i don’t know, i focus on myself but there are times i miss him or maybe the idea of him and how he made me feel.
Very common don't worry so much about keep focusing on yourself. Trust me I'm in the same position rn but they're just thoughts try not to act on them and break no contact. Keep working on yourself standard no contact rules are still apple until they contact you. Hope things are going well and that I helped in the best way I can:)))
Same here. ... It's so unpleasant. One minute missing them n wishing things worked out then have upsetting thoughts of how bad they were n the urge to pull away like crazy...sad thing is I know mine is too fearful to talk to me without purpose n I'm not talking cause I'm resentful of them.. just need more time
My Ex was a Narcissist. Some days I looked at him and thought as you did. Then when I was with him I missed being able to relax or feeling good about myself and would make excuses to go home. At the end of the day it's how they made you feel. He was no oil painting but I loved him and he abused that love. Concentrate on yourself a d you will be happy and loved by the right person in time. 🍒
I did everything but looking back on it it's not worth it. Single feeling blessed and free dating now but come to find out these women now and days are very CONFUSED as well as men are. Dating is so hard.
I agree, I've tired to do something to get an ex back. Now, I'm just loving myself and with all honestly, I lost who I was and what I was doing/ loving.
Well said. The scariest part of no contact is the percieved lack of control. So many other relationship/breakup channels offer fast results. In most cases, it's like salt to a wound. Ironically, if you stick to no contact as more time goes by and you do the work you understand how much it allows you to take your power back whether your ex returns or not.
It kind of makes me sick to my stomach doing all that's necessary to get through this. I think it just scares me to completely let go. One day at a time, I guess.
that's where I'm at now, it has been exactly 1 month post breakup and we immediately went into NC. i feel nauseated sometimes, and I was the dumper, but it was bc he didn't see a future so I'm feeling all the rejection. How are you doing now 8 mos out?
@@nutella871 It's actually 10 months now. I'm holding out. Being out of work since April 1st doesn't help. Still having a rough time. Too much time on my hands. Would rather be working. Idle hands are the devil's workshop. :) Trying to make female friends, only, to help me through it all. Guess I just need to be validated from females so I can feel good about myself. It sounds pathetic but it's how I feel. It's good therapy. :) I ended a relationship many years ago. Had a real difficult time dealing with it. Not very good at it. I saw her about 6-8 months later but I still didn't want to be around her. This particular girl looked me up 14 years later. I wish she hadn't have done that. She was a drug addict, lied a lot and was abusive. That one was hard too but did what I had to to get her out of my head and out of my life. She was rotten and just plain no good.
I remember following the 7 day no contact rule. I ended up being blocked after reaching out. long term NC works since you're giving yourself room to breathe and look things from a perspective. You'll see that the relationship isn't all rainbows and unicorns.
Once we start focusing on ourselves we won't feel the need to do anything regarding our Ex. We'll do it all for us. I bought a book the other day on self care and reading it helps me to focus and organise my mind. 🍒
So not true. Silence means your opinion is not being heard, you have no voice. Sometimes the other person needs to hear things from you or else he or she will simply put you right out of mind.
@@ZooomaCW right Chris... but that only if we r thinking that from their point of view.. what we think right is not always considered to be right from their point of view ... that has not be also... but that doesnt mean my views r wrong ....if the meaning of my silence is not understood by that person it is pointless to make him understand .... it is better to move on... if I am worthy to that person he may not understand but atleast would try
Hey guys I want to share this thought as I realized while I'm in no contact..when I met my ex, she aproach me, she chased for my attention, she did it all, I was not interesting wharsoever...and my brain wants to do now what I did'n do at the begining! Fight back against your brain be a rock my friend! No contact!
Hi Rory, after 2 weeks broken up and 2 weeks NC she reached out to me to see how I am doing. I told her how I felt and that I’m not ready for friendship only next time she contacts me it’ll be for romantic reconciliation. Going back to NC you’ve made me strong enough to continue like this.
I literally just thought this to myself today “maybe I should just do nothing.” I have a video request - so my ex reached out for my birthday and seemed really enthusiastic when speaking to me. I did strict NC before him texting me. The convo died down and it’s been a few days since we’ve texted but he sends me snapchats. So my request is - how do we know if our ex is in the beginning stages of reconciling/wanting us back vs. being friends?
Think I like this video the best out of all of then stay with no contact work on me dont have to do anything to win her back if she comes back I'll be 22kgs skinnier and debt free and hopefully less anxiety
I'm not looking to get my soon to be ex husband back however I love hearing great advice for future purposes. I know I have to love myself first before I can offer love to another. I know not to except less from others when I put out so much effort. No more lowering my standards for someone else. All about self worth. It's my time now and I love waking up asking myself WHAT DO I WANT TO DO TODAY, keyword I. Thank you for putting out great advice with no flashy gimmicks
I’m a be real with you. Prior to me actually really watching your channel I was really thinking of reaching out for my ex after 30 days shit even some of my friends told me to wait a month after the break up to reach out to her... I want to be with her but i also don’t it’s crazy! Your videos make the most sense for both emotions and logic I really want to reach out and talk to her but I’m not going to do it! 2 weeks NC the first step out the door but many to come! Your videos motivates me to keep going and assuring that things will work out how it’s suppose to!
Wow great message! makes so much sense, I like the gym comparison as I workout often myself and job stuff but it's a controlled variable but you can't control another person's thoughts!
Wow this was brutally honest, including the call-outs! I'm trying not to contact after begging and pleading a couple of times and sending drunk texts last week... It's been three months and I'm pretty sure she's rebounded (I've found an FWB while I go on dates). I still love her and have no idea if she still loves me. Also exchanged friendly texts with her mother yesterday and today. She's probably checking up on me on my ex's behalf. Keeping it all civil and not talking about my ex. I won't beg through her mother.
Yes we hv learned to work hard but ..when he's so cold..& m in NC..i'hv done enough..I'm ready to accept him..but he also hvto initiate have to do some work
So me and this girl started seeing each other 4 months ago and the first time we met we actually slept together and so we decided to be f buddies and at the time I was with another girl and so she asked me to drop her and so I did. month and a half in I slept with another girl bc i saw nothing serious with her and sleeping with that girl made me realise I actually have feelings for the girl I have been with so a month later we started dating and we were just so good like I have never seen anyone like her even tho I have been with quite a bit of girls and she felt the same abt me and she said that im the first guy she has fallen for this deeply and she never felt the connection with anyone else. the other day I had to tell her because I wanted to get it off my chest and I wanted to move forward with her however she started breaking down and getting mad, we went back to mine and tbh I started crying with her bc I genuinely felt sorry and I wanted to be with her. she was crying and saying she cant see herself without me and wants to be with me but at the same time she was confused and didn't know how to feel. anyway, I dropped her off to her friend and her friend told her to give me a chance we met up again bc she had some questions and I answered and she said that she wants to give this another chance bc she knows I have been loyal and good to her since we actually started being serious, and she told me not to give up on us bc she doesn't want to and she wants to give this a try. and so the next the she asked more friends and they told her that she should give me another chance, even her mother told her to give me another chance. however on Friday she started being weird? she asked for space and removed our photos so I started freaking out and I asked to questioning her and asked to meet up but she refused and she said we can call so I called and she said sorry for giving you false hopes but I don't think I can do this anymore and I just started crying my eyes out. anyway not long after I sent her a text telling her that I understand she feels betrayed upset and angry but I want her to rethink it and im sure we will have an amazing relationship(we were doing really good only a few ups and downs which is normal) however she didn't reply until the next day when I was about to leave my house I realised that she dropped my stuff off in front of my house with a letter saying that she feels really hurt betrayed and hurt broken and that she felt pressured to make a decision too quickly and can no longer be in a relationship and she hopes that I learn from this and so will she. at that point I sent her a text asking for a call so at least I can ask some questions and make stuff clear to myself so it will make moving on easier and she said that she Is on the phone with her sister and a few other texts that are irrelevant. and I just told her to give me a call when she is done with her sister and I haven't heard from her since which is 12 hrs ago almost. what do I do? is there a chance? I just have a feeling that she is blind sighted by her emotions and cant see the good in us and she needs some time to realise and cool off. im thinking of texting her in a week and asking for a sit down or sending a letter and a flower saying that I still haven't gave up on us just like she asked with a few other stuff. ( a week later update): i texted her saying that i would really to hand the letter to her in person otherwise I'll drop it off in front of her place however she didn't reply and so i just dropped it off in front of her place with flowers and her favorite lollies. In the letter i apologised and just said that i loved her and missed her and if she gives me another chance I'll be the best i can be. And i have hope and I'm ready to fight for us and i understand that she is busy with school work and she still needs to process her feelings and she can reach out when she is ready. It's been 3 days since then and i have heard nothing. I don't know what to do, i have been tempted to text her but i don't this she will reply and i blocked her on some social media platforms and she blocked me on Instagram. She never went back to any of the guys she had a thing with apparently but she never felt the way she felt for me with any other guy. Is there a chance? And if so what do i do to increase my chances? Thank you
My guy got married while we were still in a relationship from 5 yrs.. he proposed for marriage. Just 2 weeks back. I m shattered. I feel violated in every level... i feel powerless. I have been listening to you... all I do is breakdown.. when you are running a family together. Everything is linked. What do I do???
Rory, Can you please make a video on what to do when an ex is dealing with a sudden disease or a life crisis or family illness and on how to react as a dumpee in this dilemma between keeping distance and rebuilding yourself vs. being honestly empathic and emotional (my ex contacted and sound in need)? - I did not find advice on this hard situation... Thanks so much for great content
Man i love your channel i tried to move on an my ex got mad n jealous i want her bro this shit killing she said shes in a relationship with my friend well used to be and shes prego but the preg part was a lie but she says she blocked me but didn't my not friend is staying with her shit hurts bro but my female friend said shes playing mind games n she will be back i don't see it but im still working on me
I contacted him and told him how I felt. I didn't listen to him. I hope he can forgive me for that. I did get scared. I just blocked him. We still talked. But now I feel so bad. If there was any chance then I have blown it.
Hey Rory..love the channel. It’s really helped the last few months. I’ve been in no contact for about 5 months now since she ended things. I’m blocked on phone and Snapchat and don’t follow any of her social media’s either now (my choice to unfollow/unfriend in snap and Instagram). I’m Just starting to really miss her again now :// I think a video on being blocked/ finding a way to reach out when blocked might help a lot of people... great content as always :))
Years ago after an ex broke up with me I read about the 30 day contact rule and thought it was ridiculous but tried anyway it definitely backfired. I don't even remember what idiot I read it from but it almost put me in the friendzone on top of it.
No contact is not always the best way that go, not for everyone. It can backfire. Sometimes contacting and trying to let your voice be heard needs to happen. It might not work but it can be better than no contact because you at least have a voice.
My tactic is to do everything I would promise to do to get her back. But instead of saying Im gonna do it, I am doing it. Not for her only, also for me. Still do I break no contact at some point? Im still looking for other dates at the moment, but I do admit I do keep the option of getting back together open. Also I know I fucked up, she was probably right to break up with me. Honestly I dont know if things can ever be good again. But I at least would want to thank her for breaking up with me at some point and show her that I got my shit together because of it and sincerely apologize for my mistakes. I truly hurt her and I want her to know that I regret that. She probably never will. Maybe its better to just leave it, so she can be mad at me and move on.
swami dude if you cheated move on, but if you put her on a pedestal be patient, don’t say sorry, don’t thank her for the break up, don’t do any of that, just let her come back to you, act as if she’s a new person when she does reach out, don’t ever say sorry to an ex, unless you cheated or there was violence
Hi Rory. So my ex finally dropped off some of my things. We didn't talk much and I was nice to him. Just asked how he has been. He said very busy. He then text me later saying I look amazing. I responded and said "thank you. You look good too. Hope you're good" and then no reply. This was a week ago and still nothing. He needs to bring a few more of my things which he said he forgot. So waiting for him to let me know. That's if he does. I have been struggling with no contact recently. I feel like talking to him. Perhaps he is angry that I don't contact him. What do you think of this situation. I just keep thinking of him meeting and chatting to other girls. That is perhaps what he wants. Thank you Rory. Trying to keep strong! 💕
Nicole, this is similar to my situation somewhat. It's actually worse when you talk to your ex and they are nice to you, I find. My ex cheated on me last year (emotional cheating at least, I caught her) and then dumped me at Xmas, over the phone, after 3 years together. But this spring, I had a death in my family and had to tell her and she was so nice and supportive. But then on weekends she would disappear and I had no business asking "where" or "with whom". So now, after a couple months of those nice texts, I just stopped messaging and writing her (to the point of blocking her phone, but she can still call and leave a voice messsage if needed). She sent me a nice birthday gift, really nice in fact, but I haven't responded with a "thank you" and feel terrible about it. But at the same time, she broke up with me, and well, if she's sleeping with another dude, I just don't want to know. I will focus on my life instead. Good luck, Nicole.
So after 2 months NC I still kept checking her social media pages. So I finally unfollowed them on everything. Do you think that may affect the effectiveness of NC since they can’t see all the fun stuff I’m doing? Some of her friends still follow me though.
Someone heeeelllppp there's a guy who says he won't do long distance but tried to hook up... What do I do? Im no contact and he doesn't reach out, I'm struggling to get over him!!
I’m having such a hard time, it’s been two months since the break up and...as much as I want to be part of his life as his girlfriend again, I don’t know if he would want me to be..
Stay strong friend! Same here, almost 3 months, even if he isnt reaching out, he watches my instagram stories and likes my photos, he is seeing change (lost weight, im studying again, im going to therapy, being more social, got new friends) and that change is what can bring him back, cause im working on myself and in the flaws he saw once in me, so just focus on yourself, try something new, challenge yourself and the process will be easier! Good luck!
@B K if he is married, even if it hurts so much, you have to start the process of letting go, seek professional help if you feel you need to, talk to your trusting people about it, you are not alone, it hurts, yes, but i know you can do this!
@@ZooomaCW the point isn't to get her or him back the point is to feel good and you don't need anyone for that. If you need others to feel good you have a lot of work left to do! One day you'll understand my friend :)
Hey Rory !! Can you do a video to really explain what you mean by "hit when the iron is hot" ? If the ex just asking how you are going every week or so, how do you apply this .. - a little over a month after Break up? Thank you !!
Hi Rory, today my ex seems doing pretty well he seems like he's finally moved on from me. He's the dumper and I'm having a rough time moving on. Our break up wasn't mutual and I'm sad knowing that he seems happier without me. I still want him back and I still love him what should do?
@@beefstick4242 I don't really know it all happened so suddenly and I can't seem to puzzle everything, and it's unfair for my part because he seemed to happy with me, he had hesitations before breaking up with me and then here he is looking happy and well like he didn't just break up with his girlfriend.
I have a question.... My ex blocked me in insta n then I blocked him.... He unblocked me now.. My question is shall I unblock him or shall I wait him for him to reach out
Quick question: Is it possible for no contact to work when my ex bf told me when he broke up with me “to do what hurts us less” ? I told him I’d still support him (he owns a store) and he told me “wouldn’t it hurt you?” And I told him I didn’t know but I’d do it anyway. Since then I’ve found your channel and been in no contact, but I don’t wanna make him feel like I don’t care 😔
need some advice rory...its over a month with pure nc it was a relatively not messy break up, she told me in her last voicenote to me that if I had any questions, that I can ask her and that ' I deserved that. so im thinking of contacting this sunday to ask some questions I have and to gain closure and to really move on for good! what do you think? would love some feedback on this. thanks rory or indeed anyone whos out there to help me!
Hi Rory, My ex will be at a mutual friends party in 2 weeks. It will have been around 2 month mark of us breaking up. I have worked on myself and gotten into shape! I look and feel great about myself. Do you think this is too soon to be seeing my ex? I will not be initiating contact at the party, just focusing on enjoying myself. Thanks in advance!
That's up to you, and your belief in yourself. The better thing to ask IF they make contact with you, are you ready? Can you avoid making all the mistakes that push them further, and properly give when asked of your life, or good segway that shows that you're doing good FOR YOURSELF. Don't expect things to fix themselves that night either, it's a process, you're not going to the party because your ex is there, you're going for your friend, focus on that, but don't just ignore, bad move. Just enjoy your life, and be in the moment, not the past, or what happened.
I had a great night! I looked my best and was my happy, fun self. Met some really cool people too. My ex approached me later in the night and asked how I was. I said, “I’ve been great!” - to which he responded, “really?” Seeming really surprised Hahaha I ended the conversation soon after and continued to have a kick ass night with some new friends I’d made. He seemed pretty sad towards the end of the night and sat with 1 guy away from everyone for about 2 hours, then I went home
@@rrrrrrraaaa9 that's the plan! I just want to uhm.. how to word it.. see some sense (?) or the meaning of it. Just to have a general idea of what made her do it so fast
@@rrrrrrraaaa9 4 months. I'd rather spare up the details but I can tell you this - it it a thing confirmed by all her friends that she never loved anyone as much as me. Could it perhaps be due to her still loving me, but not wanting to feel that way? Like a "to hell with these feelings, tinder will help" kind of thing? Just trying to do some "what's the chance for us" math, my man
Ravi is right. Stay in no contact. And I know this may seem harsh, but it’s probably better if you don’t try to make sense of what your partner is trying to do. None of us are mind readers and it most likely will drive you nuts thinking about your ex. Build a better version of yourself and what will be, will be. Stay strong my friend.
I see this Why is this Everygirl i get with or in 2weeks They get super lewdy with me - Im like :rage: been like the or 8th time it happened But mostly with a girl, She likes me or I like her, i dont get it Why do they want to be lewd so fast and that pushes me away
every breakup is different. all I can say is work on yourself. yes, you might think of your ex but as minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and even years you will start to regain your happiness. don't rush things. it takes time.
@chris w. Dont be scared of future.. every boy face this problem.. every person who faced this just ljsten them and work on yourself... Trust me and all you will be fine... But at this moment you have to feel this pain
i think i’m in the weird stage now. there are moments i want to get back with my ex but there are plenty of times i think to myself ‘wtf, look at him, he is not that good.’ i don’t know, i focus on myself but there are times i miss him or maybe the idea of him and how he made me feel.
Very common don't worry so much about keep focusing on yourself. Trust me I'm in the same position rn but they're just thoughts try not to act on them and break no contact. Keep working on yourself standard no contact rules are still apple until they contact you. Hope things are going well and that I helped in the best way I can:)))
Same here. ... It's so unpleasant. One minute missing them n wishing things worked out then have upsetting thoughts of how bad they were n the urge to pull away like crazy...sad thing is I know mine is too fearful to talk to me without purpose n I'm not talking cause I'm resentful of them.. just need more time
@@blackbeauty2166 i am in the same boat. Its really hard.
My Ex was a Narcissist. Some days I looked at him and thought as you did. Then when I was with him I missed being able to relax or feeling good about myself and would make excuses to go home. At the end of the day it's how they made you feel. He was no oil painting but I loved him and he abused that love. Concentrate on yourself a d you will be happy and loved by the right person in time. 🍒
Same. It's tough like an emotional rollercoaster. How are things a year later?
Sometimes the best action one can take is inaction.
i did no contact.. after 8 months she came back.. she sent me this message "you know what? i think i could try again" omg
lucky you
nice man! hows it going so far?
That's pretty cool.
dont give us hope hahaha
Why didn’t she say I think we could try again insted i think I mean I happy for you but 🧐🧐🤨🤨
I did everything but looking back on it it's not worth it. Single feeling blessed and free dating now but come to find out these women now and days are very CONFUSED as well as men are. Dating is so hard.
I agree, I've tired to do something to get an ex back. Now, I'm just loving myself and with all honestly, I lost who I was and what I was doing/ loving.
Apologies for the re-upload! TH-cam cut off the last 50 seconds of the video!
Hi Rory can you do a video about: my ex new partner is better than me?
@@pedrogo152 There's a thought.
Well said. The scariest part of no contact is the percieved lack of control. So many other relationship/breakup channels offer fast results. In most cases, it's like salt to a wound. Ironically, if you stick to no contact as more time goes by and you do the work you understand how much it allows you to take your power back whether your ex returns or not.
It kind of makes me sick to my stomach doing all that's necessary to get through this. I think it just scares me to completely let go. One day at a time, I guess.
that's where I'm at now, it has been exactly 1 month post breakup and we immediately went into NC. i feel nauseated sometimes, and I was the dumper, but it was bc he didn't see a future so I'm feeling all the rejection. How are you doing now 8 mos out?
@@nutella871 It's actually 10 months now. I'm holding out. Being out of work since April 1st doesn't help. Still having a rough time. Too much time on my hands. Would rather be working. Idle hands are the devil's workshop. :)
Trying to make female friends, only, to help me through it all. Guess I just need to be validated from females so I can feel good about myself. It sounds pathetic but it's how I feel. It's good therapy. :)
I ended a relationship many years ago. Had a real difficult time dealing with it. Not very good at it. I saw her about 6-8 months later but I still didn't want to be around her.
This particular girl looked me up 14 years later. I wish she hadn't have done that. She was a drug addict, lied a lot and was abusive. That one was hard too but did what I had to to get her out of my head and out of my life. She was rotten and just plain no good.
I remember following the 7 day no contact rule. I ended up being blocked after reaching out. long term NC works since you're giving yourself room to breathe and look things from a perspective. You'll see that the relationship isn't all rainbows and unicorns.
Rory! I can now honestly say that I don’t want her back. Thank you so much for the videos. Keep up the good work my man💯
Once we start focusing on ourselves we won't feel the need to do anything regarding our Ex. We'll do it all for us. I bought a book the other day on self care and reading it helps me to focus and organise my mind. 🍒
Silence has its own tremendous power .... it says everything that words can't say ever.... thanks again for a wonderful upload Rory
So not true. Silence means your opinion is not being heard, you have no voice. Sometimes the other person needs to hear things from you or else he or she will simply put you right out of mind.
@@ZooomaCW right Chris... but that only if we r thinking that from their point of view.. what we think right is not always considered to be right from their point of view ... that has not be also... but that doesnt mean my views r wrong ....if the meaning of my silence is not understood by that person it is pointless to make him understand .... it is better to move on... if I am worthy to that person he may not understand but atleast would try
The MOST powerful video ive seen so far on TH-cam! Thank you for not sugar coating anything.
Hey guys I want to share this thought as I realized while I'm in no contact..when I met my ex, she aproach me, she chased for my attention, she did it all, I was not interesting wharsoever...and my brain wants to do now what I did'n do at the begining! Fight back against your brain be a rock my friend! No contact!
Hi Rory, after 2 weeks broken up and 2 weeks NC she reached out to me to see how I am doing. I told her how I felt and that I’m not ready for friendship only next time she contacts me it’ll be for romantic reconciliation. Going back to NC you’ve made me strong enough to continue like this.
Doing nothing can actually be doing something.
I literally just thought this to myself today “maybe I should just do nothing.”
I have a video request - so my ex reached out for my birthday and seemed really enthusiastic when speaking to me. I did strict NC before him texting me. The convo died down and it’s been a few days since we’ve texted but he sends me snapchats. So my request is - how do we know if our ex is in the beginning stages of reconciling/wanting us back vs. being friends?
Hey it's 4 months later, what happened?
Think I like this video the best out of all of then stay with no contact work on me dont have to do anything to win her back if she comes back I'll be 22kgs skinnier and debt free and hopefully less anxiety
Thank you Rory for keeping me squared off.
I'm not looking to get my soon to be ex husband back however I love hearing great advice for future purposes. I know I have to love myself first before I can offer love to another. I know not to except less from others when I put out so much effort. No more lowering my standards for someone else. All about self worth. It's my time now and I love waking up asking myself WHAT DO I WANT TO DO TODAY, keyword I. Thank you for putting out great advice with no flashy gimmicks
This Is the only guy you need to listen too. And frankly the only video you'll ever need to watch regarding break ups.
I’m a be real with you. Prior to me actually really watching your channel I was really thinking of reaching out for my ex after 30 days shit even some of my friends told me to wait a month after the break up to reach out to her... I want to be with her but i also don’t it’s crazy! Your videos make the most sense for both emotions and logic I really want to reach out and talk to her but I’m not going to do it! 2 weeks NC the first step out the door but many to come! Your videos motivates me to keep going and assuring that things will work out how it’s suppose to!
Excellent advice , I get stronger by the day reinforcing your advice in my head.Thank you !
The illusion of action
Thanks..Eid Mubarak
Omg can't belive rory hearted this comment.. Means alot 💐
I couldn’t do anything to get him back. This thought made me move on.
Wow great message! makes so much sense, I like the gym comparison as I workout often myself and job stuff but it's a controlled variable but you can't control another person's thoughts!
Wow this was brutally honest, including the call-outs! I'm trying not to contact after begging and pleading a couple of times and sending drunk texts last week... It's been three months and I'm pretty sure she's rebounded (I've found an FWB while I go on dates). I still love her and have no idea if she still loves me. Also exchanged friendly texts with her mother yesterday and today. She's probably checking up on me on my ex's behalf. Keeping it all civil and not talking about my ex. I won't beg through her mother.
I feel like the longer I do nothing, show her my changes, the easier it will be for her to forget about me
Exactly. Read my long comment. No contact is not always the answer. I feel for you.
But begging and pleading isn’t attractive either
Yes we hv learned to work hard but ..when he's so cold..& m in NC..i'hv done enough..I'm ready to accept him..but he also hvto initiate have to do some work
Thank you so much, Rory!!!! 🙏🏽🙌🏽 just what I needed to hear!!
So me and this girl started seeing each other 4 months ago and the first time we met we actually slept together and so we decided to be f buddies and at the time I was with another girl and so she asked me to drop her and so I did. month and a half in I slept with another girl bc i saw nothing serious with her and sleeping with that girl made me realise I actually have feelings for the girl I have been with so a month later we started dating and we were just so good like I have never seen anyone like her even tho I have been with quite a bit of girls and she felt the same abt me and she said that im the first guy she has fallen for this deeply and she never felt the connection with anyone else. the other day I had to tell her because I wanted to get it off my chest and I wanted to move forward with her however she started breaking down and getting mad, we went back to mine and tbh I started crying with her bc I genuinely felt sorry and I wanted to be with her. she was crying and saying she cant see herself without me and wants to be with me but at the same time she was confused and didn't know how to feel. anyway, I dropped her off to her friend and her friend told her to give me a chance we met up again bc she had some questions and I answered and she said that she wants to give this another chance bc she knows I have been loyal and good to her since we actually started being serious, and she told me not to give up on us bc she doesn't want to and she wants to give this a try. and so the next the she asked more friends and they told her that she should give me another chance, even her mother told her to give me another chance. however on Friday she started being weird? she asked for space and removed our photos so I started freaking out and I asked to questioning her and asked to meet up but she refused and she said we can call so I called and she said sorry for giving you false hopes but I don't think I can do this anymore and I just started crying my eyes out. anyway not long after I sent her a text telling her that I understand she feels betrayed upset and angry but I want her to rethink it and im sure we will have an amazing relationship(we were doing really good only a few ups and downs which is normal) however she didn't reply until the next day when I was about to leave my house I realised that she dropped my stuff off in front of my house with a letter saying that she feels really hurt betrayed and hurt broken and that she felt pressured to make a decision too quickly and can no longer be in a relationship and she hopes that I learn from this and so will she. at that point I sent her a text asking for a call so at least I can ask some questions and make stuff clear to myself so it will make moving on easier and she said that she Is on the phone with her sister and a few other texts that are irrelevant. and I just told her to give me a call when she is done with her sister and I haven't heard from her since which is 12 hrs ago almost. what do I do? is there a chance? I just have a feeling that she is blind sighted by her emotions and cant see the good in us and she needs some time to realise and cool off. im thinking of texting her in a week and asking for a sit down or sending a letter and a flower saying that I still haven't gave up on us just like she asked with a few other stuff. ( a week later update): i texted her saying that i would really to hand the letter to her in person otherwise I'll drop it off in front of her place however she didn't reply and so i just dropped it off in front of her place with flowers and her favorite lollies. In the letter i apologised and just said that i loved her and missed her and if she gives me another chance I'll be the best i can be. And i have hope and I'm ready to fight for us and i understand that she is busy with school work and she still needs to process her feelings and she can reach out when she is ready. It's been 3 days since then and i have heard nothing. I don't know what to do, i have been tempted to text her but i don't this she will reply and i blocked her on some social media platforms and she blocked me on Instagram. She never went back to any of the guys she had a thing with apparently but she never felt the way she felt for me with any other guy. Is there a chance? And if so what do i do to increase my chances?
Thank you
Love this vid your voice is definitely made for radio tv and us .. of course your the best
My guy got married while we were still in a relationship from 5 yrs.. he proposed for marriage. Just 2 weeks back. I m shattered. I feel violated in every level... i feel powerless. I have been listening to you... all I do is breakdown.. when you are running a family together. Everything is linked. What do I do???
Thankyou.
So true!
Prevents a lot of damage.
Hands down to you. This is 100% true.
Yes rory...so nice of you.
Yes exactly as you said.... other than self improvement ine shouldn't do anything else to win the ex back.
Excellent stuff here.
Nice vídeo as usual Rory, I have a video request. No contact for married people with children and almost divorced, thanks
This is a brilliant video Rory, thanks🍒.
Lols only cause it's reposted😉 Thanks Rory❤
Going your own way was the best thing I ever did.
“Take your ex back bible “ 😂😂😂
Superb advice.. very true..
EXCELLENT VIDEO RORY!
so great i found this channel,
Glad you enjoy it!
Thank you, Rory 💖
Rory, Can you please make a video on what to do when an ex is dealing with a sudden disease or a life crisis or family illness and on how to react as a dumpee in this dilemma between keeping distance and rebuilding yourself vs. being honestly empathic and emotional (my ex contacted and sound in need)? -
I did not find advice on this hard situation...
Thanks so much for great content
Man i love your channel i tried to move on an my ex got mad n jealous i want her bro this shit killing she said shes in a relationship with my friend well used to be and shes prego but the preg part was a lie but she says she blocked me but didn't my not friend is staying with her shit hurts bro but my female friend said shes playing mind games n she will be back i don't see it but im still working on me
I contacted him and told him how I felt. I didn't listen to him. I hope he can forgive me for that. I did get scared. I just blocked him. We still talked. But now I feel so bad. If there was any chance then I have blown it.
Hey Rory..love the channel. It’s really helped the last few months.
I’ve been in no contact for about 5 months now since she ended things. I’m blocked on phone and Snapchat and don’t follow any of her social media’s either now (my choice to unfollow/unfriend in snap and Instagram). I’m Just starting to really miss her again now ://
I think a video on being blocked/ finding a way to reach out when blocked might help a lot of people... great content as always :))
Possible topic for the next video, why is my exe freezing me and appearing to not be affected at all, sending spiteful messages through friends
Years ago after an ex broke up with me I read about the 30 day contact rule and thought it was ridiculous but tried anyway it definitely backfired. I don't even remember what idiot I read it from but it almost put me in the friendzone on top of it.
No contact is not always the best way that go, not for everyone. It can backfire. Sometimes contacting and trying to let your voice be heard needs to happen. It might not work but it can be better than no contact because you at least have a voice.
I got blocked bec of nc
@@ZooomaCW did it work for you?
Amazing! Thank you
Another great one ☝🏽
Thanks for the repost, sweetie.
Why has the hurt come worse over a month later?
My tactic is to do everything I would promise to do to get her back. But instead of saying Im gonna do it, I am doing it. Not for her only, also for me.
Still do I break no contact at some point? Im still looking for other dates at the moment, but I do admit I do keep the option of getting back together open.
Also I know I fucked up, she was probably right to break up with me. Honestly I dont know if things can ever be good again. But I at least would want to thank her for breaking up with me at some point and show her that I got my shit together because of it and sincerely apologize for my mistakes. I truly hurt her and I want her to know that I regret that.
She probably never will. Maybe its better to just leave it, so she can be mad at me and move on.
swami dude if you cheated move on, but if you put her on a pedestal be patient, don’t say sorry, don’t thank her for the break up, don’t do any of that, just let her come back to you, act as if she’s a new person when she does reach out, don’t ever say sorry to an ex, unless you cheated or there was violence
@@bigpops2519 I didnt cheated and she knows I would never do that. I just didnt follow through on my promises and often lied about what I was doing.
Hi Rory. So my ex finally dropped off some of my things. We didn't talk much and I was nice to him. Just asked how he has been. He said very busy. He then text me later saying I look amazing. I responded and said "thank you. You look good too. Hope you're good" and then no reply. This was a week ago and still nothing. He needs to bring a few more of my things which he said he forgot. So waiting for him to let me know. That's if he does. I have been struggling with no contact recently. I feel like talking to him. Perhaps he is angry that I don't contact him. What do you think of this situation. I just keep thinking of him meeting and chatting to other girls. That is perhaps what he wants. Thank you Rory. Trying to keep strong! 💕
Nicole, this is similar to my situation somewhat. It's actually worse when you talk to your ex and they are nice to you, I find. My ex cheated on me last year (emotional cheating at least, I caught her) and then dumped me at Xmas, over the phone, after 3 years together. But this spring, I had a death in my family and had to tell her and she was so nice and supportive. But then on weekends she would disappear and I had no business asking "where" or "with whom". So now, after a couple months of those nice texts, I just stopped messaging and writing her (to the point of blocking her phone, but she can still call and leave a voice messsage if needed). She sent me a nice birthday gift, really nice in fact, but I haven't responded with a "thank you" and feel terrible about it. But at the same time, she broke up with me, and well, if she's sleeping with another dude, I just don't want to know. I will focus on my life instead. Good luck, Nicole.
Thank you. You're very strong. I wish you all the best!
So after 2 months NC I still kept checking her social media pages. So I finally unfollowed them on everything. Do you think that may affect the effectiveness of NC since they can’t see all the fun stuff I’m doing? Some of her friends still follow me though.
Someone heeeelllppp there's a guy who says he won't do long distance but tried to hook up... What do I do? Im no contact and he doesn't reach out, I'm struggling to get over him!!
Nice video👌
What if I just want closure?
I’m having such a hard time, it’s been two months since the break up and...as much as I want to be part of his life as his girlfriend again, I don’t know if he would want me to be..
B K
I made the mistake of looking at his profile on FB and...he looks so happy and so much better. I’m just crying to myself now
B K
No I’m not, it’s just another name I have for myself
Stay strong friend! Same here, almost 3 months, even if he isnt reaching out, he watches my instagram stories and likes my photos, he is seeing change (lost weight, im studying again, im going to therapy, being more social, got new friends) and that change is what can bring him back, cause im working on myself and in the flaws he saw once in me, so just focus on yourself, try something new, challenge yourself and the process will be easier! Good luck!
@B K if he is married, even if it hurts so much, you have to start the process of letting go, seek professional help if you feel you need to, talk to your trusting people about it, you are not alone, it hurts, yes, but i know you can do this!
Hey Rory how about a video on age differences. Dating someone older or younger than you
All you have to do is focus on yourself ;)
And then when he or she never does anything to get you back you wasted time by not reaching out.
yes!!
@@ZooomaCW I wouldn't say that focusing on self-improvement is a waste of time :)
@@erik111erik ty hahaga
@@ZooomaCW the point isn't to get her or him back the point is to feel good and you don't need anyone for that. If you need others to feel good you have a lot of work left to do! One day you'll understand my friend :)
Hey Rory !!
Can you do a video to really explain what you mean by "hit when the iron is hot" ? If the ex just asking how you are going every week or so, how do you apply this .. - a little over a month after Break up?
Thank you !!
Hi Rory, today my ex seems doing pretty well he seems like he's finally moved on from me. He's the dumper and I'm having a rough time moving on. Our break up wasn't mutual and I'm sad knowing that he seems happier without me. I still want him back and I still love him what should do?
If he moved on so quickly then maybe that should be a sign for what your relationship really was.
@@beefstick4242 I don't really know it all happened so suddenly and I can't seem to puzzle everything, and it's unfair for my part because he seemed to happy with me, he had hesitations before breaking up with me and then here he is looking happy and well like he didn't just break up with his girlfriend.
I have a question.... My ex blocked me in insta n then I blocked him.... He unblocked me now.. My question is shall I unblock him or shall I wait him for him to reach out
Quick question: Is it possible for no contact to work when my ex bf told me when he broke up with me “to do what hurts us less” ? I told him I’d still support him (he owns a store) and he told me “wouldn’t it hurt you?” And I told him I didn’t know but I’d do it anyway. Since then I’ve found your channel and been in no contact, but I don’t wanna make him feel like I don’t care 😔
So I have messed up.
need some advice rory...its over a month with pure nc it was a relatively not messy break up, she told me in her last voicenote to me that if I had any questions, that I can ask her and that ' I deserved that.
so im thinking of contacting this sunday to ask some questions I have and to gain closure and to really move on for good! what do you think? would love some feedback on this. thanks rory or indeed anyone whos out there to help me!
Im sorry im co fused. 😔
Hey, i have q question for you if my ex text me for my birthday should i replay back? It's been 3 weeks that we are not toguether.
I texted my ex after 2 weeks, did I mess it up?
Hi Rory,
My ex will be at a mutual friends party in 2 weeks. It will have been around 2 month mark of us breaking up.
I have worked on myself and gotten into shape! I look and feel great about myself.
Do you think this is too soon to be seeing my ex? I will not be initiating contact at the party, just focusing on enjoying myself.
Thanks in advance!
That's up to you, and your belief in yourself. The better thing to ask IF they make contact with you, are you ready? Can you avoid making all the mistakes that push them further, and properly give when asked of your life, or good segway that shows that you're doing good FOR YOURSELF. Don't expect things to fix themselves that night either, it's a process, you're not going to the party because your ex is there, you're going for your friend, focus on that, but don't just ignore, bad move. Just enjoy your life, and be in the moment, not the past, or what happened.
how did the encounter go?
I had a great night! I looked my best and was my happy, fun self. Met some really cool people too.
My ex approached me later in the night and asked how I was. I said, “I’ve been great!” - to which he responded, “really?” Seeming really surprised Hahaha I ended the conversation soon after and continued to have a kick ass night with some new friends I’d made.
He seemed pretty sad towards the end of the night and sat with 1 guy away from everyone for about 2 hours, then I went home
@@user-cs2jp8cx7l that's brilliant! What a way to show your ex that your not fazed and your life has more meaning to it than just 1 person!
Hello! I would like to set up a Skype meeting with you but I am currently in Europe. Would you make an exception?
Hello Dean, I coach all over the world! Just visit www.TheLoveChat.net/coaching
Sounds like brad browning 🤣🤣🤣
Rory, my ex went back on tinder one day after a breakup.. do you have a video that might help me in this situation?
@@rrrrrrraaaa9 that's the plan! I just want to uhm.. how to word it.. see some sense (?) or the meaning of it. Just to have a general idea of what made her do it so fast
@@rrrrrrraaaa9 4 months. I'd rather spare up the details but I can tell you this - it it a thing confirmed by all her friends that she never loved anyone as much as me. Could it perhaps be due to her still loving me, but not wanting to feel that way? Like a "to hell with these feelings, tinder will help" kind of thing? Just trying to do some "what's the chance for us" math, my man
Ravi is right. Stay in no contact. And I know this may seem harsh, but it’s probably better if you don’t try to make sense of what your partner is trying to do. None of us are mind readers and it most likely will drive you nuts thinking about your ex. Build a better version of yourself and what will be, will be. Stay strong my friend.
I see this
Why is this
Everygirl i get with or in 2weeks
They get super lewdy with me
-
Im like :rage: been like the or 8th time it happened
But mostly with a girl, She likes me or
I like her, i dont get it
Why do they want to be lewd so fast and that pushes me away
How much time it will take to be happy without my ex
I never will be. That's how special she is to me and how important she is to me. I'm scared for my future.
every breakup is different. all I can say is work on yourself. yes, you might think of your ex but as minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and even years you will start to regain your happiness. don't rush things. it takes time.
@chris w. Dont be scared of future.. every boy face this problem.. every person who faced this just ljsten them and work on yourself... Trust me and all you will be fine... But at this moment you have to feel this pain
Discord Community in the houuse
First!!
First