Thank you Jordan! I’m Jordan and Jamison’s dad. I’m sitting on my deck on a beautiful unusually cool morning here in Tennessee listening to a couple of turkeys calling to each other as they often do after flying off their roost. Jamison would enjoy this morning I’m experiencing in the autumn of my life. Death of a son...different perspectives from different viewpoints, each uniquely your own. Jordan as a young man facing a new exciting stage of sharing his life with a new bride. I’m happy he’s made progress, that his grief isn’t as severe, it is what Jamison would want for all of his loved ones. A father is supposed to protect his children. It is true that a parent can look on his adult child and still see that innocent young boy. I will for the rest of my life have feelings of guilt that through my own selfishness as a younger man, I didn’t always have my priorities in the correct order in regards to my sons. No psychologist or anyone else can change my mind, it is part of my normal. I’m not seeking pity. Death is final and though I tried my best to help Jamison on learning of his drug addiction, I can’t relive those early years...formative years of his youth and possibly influence him to travel a better path. That is where my feelings of guilt lay. I hope my honesty now might influence others in the importance of being a good role model. It can make a difference which you may never realize. News of the loss of someone you care about can be devastating, and you’re left with memories and reflection. Happy memories are the best!
I think this is a beautiful quote: "As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us. As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us." 💜💜
You will help others who have been through this and possibly go through this in the future. Your experience with grief and having to find a new normal will give others (and yourself) some strength. Thank you for sharing this video and the past videos . Please keep creating and sharing. You never know (even if it's not intentional) the lives you are touching and helping them cope. Congratulations on your engagement!
I like hearing (or reading) that. I don't want to just be shouting into the void with these videos, so I'm really happy when people get something out of it. I hope it helps someone, even if it's just some piece that sticks in the back of their mind for later. Thank you! I appreciate you watching and taking the time to write me this nice comment. Bobby is one of my best friends. He's made the past few years a lot better than they otherwise would have been.
Thank you for sharing. I have learned things about grief I never would have known before. Not many people want to open up about their grief to the public or even close friends. I appreciate your willingness to enlighten some of us who don't know the kind if grief you know. I pray for you and your family that as the years go by, all the good memories stay and comfort you. Great video Jordan.
This was really something else. The degree to which you openly and honestly process your grief ... but also continuing to move forward. Your statement of the title not being 100% accurate anymore definitely hit sharply. I haven't dealt with this sort of loss personally ... but it still rang very true with grandparents, acquaintances ... loss that hurt but either wasn't as close or wasn't entirely surprising. I can't thank you enough for sharing this series. Just from the encouragement and future thinking perspective ... but also because there aren't nearly enough people in the world (and I'd argue that ESPECIALLY men) that are really open about their grief. My heart both hurts with you and appreciates the perseverance of your love.
Thank you man. I feel a little self-conscious these days because I wind up talking about myself more than Jamison, but I feel like I've already shared most of the stories and pictures of him I have in older episodes. Sad to say, but you do run out eventually. I'm very happy to hear that you got something out of this. Everyone is different, and so my experiences won't be a roadmap for other people dealing with stuff like this, but hopefully something I say here or there might help people to orient themselves a little when they're in the thick of it. And thanks so much for taking the time to write me a comment and for engaging with this topic that's so important to me.
Your insightful words feel like a result of genuinely severe toil of the mind. Your personal reflective grind would seem unreal to most people, even those who have lost someone dear to them. There's no other way but to make things harder for yourself, chew it thoroughly, to reach that plateau of the 'new normal', it seems. Even if it means recording over the dreaded Apartment Guy himself!
Thanks so much. It's kind of a bittersweet feeling. A lot of people feel guilty about the thought of "moving on." I'm not sure if I'd call what I feel guilt or just wistfulness, but in a weird but also understandable way, I think people treasure the really intense feelings associated with losing someone and don't want them to fade. At some point after his wife died, C.S. Lewis said, "The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before." (Side note: C.S. Lewis was a brilliant thinker and writer. I'm not particularly religious, but his insight into how people think is far beyond what I usually read.) Whatever the case, I hope my public processing of all this can help other people somehow. I really appreciate your comment. And the Apartment Guy, ha. Nothing against him. I was more just frustrated with the odds of it happening while I was recording. I had a lot to get done, and while that guy's broadcasts aren't uncommon, they're infrequent enough that it happening on this of all Saturdays, and while I was recording such an important video in a format with a huge file size, felt a little like the fabric of existence bunching itself up into a face and laughing at me. In hindsight I'm glad it happened though. These things are usually pretty harmless after the fact and can be funny to look back on.
@@BabyArms >"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before." Holy shit, the surgical accuracy! And yes, I think your public processing can be better than other means of therapy. I appreciate your answer, too.
Understandable. There were so many heart-felt, meaningful comments on your video that I decided to balance it out with something flippant and stupid (a specialty of mine). I do respect the hell out of you for your dedication to your brother through these videos though. It has had an impact on me.
@@andrewdiorio4555 Flippancy and stupidity have their place. Jamison enjoyed them and wouldn't want them to go away just because he did. I had no idea you were watching these. I really appreciate it. Feel free to drop more comments now and then. They actually help my videos get recommended to more people. (TH-cam interprets every comment as a positive sign that people are engaging with the video.) And I don't know if you've watched the older episodes of this series, but I feel like the stuff in the late 20s, 30s, and 40s is the best I've done, not in terms of visual quality (that's always getting better as I get better at it), but content-wise. Not every one of these is me talking in a room like this one, and although I'm really happy with the hiking vlogs, those aren't the only other type I've made. The topics I pick aren't always relevant in very obvious ways, but I think those with initially unclear connections are some of the most interesting, possibly some that Jamison himself would have enjoyed most, and they might be the ones I'm most proud of. A lot of people only seem to watch (a bit) or even notice that I've shared one at all when it's specifically a death anniversary-focused episode, as if that makes it matter more than the others, but in reality these anniversary episodes tend to be more static and less creative. Long comment, and people always seem to clam up when I explain this. Of course I appreciate you watching any at all. If you ever want recommendations for episodes I'm particularly happy with (I'm glad I made all of them, but several stand out to me), I've definitely got them. Thanks man.
Thank you Jordan! I’m Jordan and Jamison’s dad. I’m sitting on my deck on a beautiful unusually cool morning here in Tennessee listening to a couple of turkeys calling to each other as they often do after flying off their roost. Jamison would enjoy this morning I’m experiencing in the autumn of my life. Death of a son...different perspectives from different viewpoints, each uniquely your own. Jordan as a young man facing a new exciting stage of sharing his life with a new bride. I’m happy he’s made progress, that his grief isn’t as severe, it is what Jamison would want for all of his loved ones. A father is supposed to protect his children. It is true that a parent can look on his adult child and still see that innocent young boy. I will for the rest of my life have feelings of guilt that through my own selfishness as a younger man, I didn’t always have my priorities in the correct order in regards to my sons. No psychologist or anyone else can change my mind, it is part of my normal. I’m not seeking pity. Death is final and though I tried my best to help Jamison on learning of his drug addiction, I can’t relive those early years...formative years of his youth and possibly influence him to travel a better path. That is where my feelings of guilt lay. I hope my honesty now might influence others in the importance of being a good role model. It can make a difference which you may never realize. News of the loss of someone you care about can be devastating, and you’re left with memories and reflection. Happy memories are the best!
I think this is a beautiful quote: "As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us. As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us." 💜💜
Yeah, that's good. Enjoying life for the people who can't anymore.
@@BabyArms That's what the video made me think of.
You will help others who have been through this and possibly go through this in the future. Your experience with grief and having to find a new normal will give others (and yourself) some strength. Thank you for sharing this video and the past videos . Please keep creating and sharing. You never know (even if it's not intentional) the lives you are touching and helping them cope.
Congratulations on your engagement!
I like hearing (or reading) that. I don't want to just be shouting into the void with these videos, so I'm really happy when people get something out of it. I hope it helps someone, even if it's just some piece that sticks in the back of their mind for later. Thank you! I appreciate you watching and taking the time to write me this nice comment. Bobby is one of my best friends. He's made the past few years a lot better than they otherwise would have been.
Thank you for sharing. I have learned things about grief I never would have known before. Not many people want to open up about their grief to the public or even close friends. I appreciate your willingness to enlighten some of us who don't know the kind if grief you know. I pray for you and your family that as the years go by, all the good memories stay and comfort you. Great video Jordan.
Thank you! I think it's ok to not want to talk about it, but I've always been kind of an open book. Hopefully it'll do someone somewhere some good.
This was really something else. The degree to which you openly and honestly process your grief ... but also continuing to move forward.
Your statement of the title not being 100% accurate anymore definitely hit sharply. I haven't dealt with this sort of loss personally ... but it still rang very true with grandparents, acquaintances ... loss that hurt but either wasn't as close or wasn't entirely surprising.
I can't thank you enough for sharing this series. Just from the encouragement and future thinking perspective ... but also because there aren't nearly enough people in the world (and I'd argue that ESPECIALLY men) that are really open about their grief.
My heart both hurts with you and appreciates the perseverance of your love.
Thank you man. I feel a little self-conscious these days because I wind up talking about myself more than Jamison, but I feel like I've already shared most of the stories and pictures of him I have in older episodes. Sad to say, but you do run out eventually. I'm very happy to hear that you got something out of this. Everyone is different, and so my experiences won't be a roadmap for other people dealing with stuff like this, but hopefully something I say here or there might help people to orient themselves a little when they're in the thick of it.
And thanks so much for taking the time to write me a comment and for engaging with this topic that's so important to me.
I love you Jordan. Thank you for making these videos.
I love you too. Thanks man. It's good to have the people who knew Jamison weigh in.
Well said Jordan. Simply explained. Love you ❤
I love you too. Thanks for watching and saying something.
I lost my brother as well all my love to your family
Your insightful words feel like a result of genuinely severe toil of the mind. Your personal reflective grind would seem unreal to most people, even those who have lost someone dear to them. There's no other way but to make things harder for yourself, chew it thoroughly, to reach that plateau of the 'new normal', it seems. Even if it means recording over the dreaded Apartment Guy himself!
Thanks so much. It's kind of a bittersweet feeling. A lot of people feel guilty about the thought of "moving on." I'm not sure if I'd call what I feel guilt or just wistfulness, but in a weird but also understandable way, I think people treasure the really intense feelings associated with losing someone and don't want them to fade. At some point after his wife died, C.S. Lewis said, "The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before." (Side note: C.S. Lewis was a brilliant thinker and writer. I'm not particularly religious, but his insight into how people think is far beyond what I usually read.)
Whatever the case, I hope my public processing of all this can help other people somehow. I really appreciate your comment.
And the Apartment Guy, ha. Nothing against him. I was more just frustrated with the odds of it happening while I was recording. I had a lot to get done, and while that guy's broadcasts aren't uncommon, they're infrequent enough that it happening on this of all Saturdays, and while I was recording such an important video in a format with a huge file size, felt a little like the fabric of existence bunching itself up into a face and laughing at me. In hindsight I'm glad it happened though. These things are usually pretty harmless after the fact and can be funny to look back on.
@@BabyArms >"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before."
Holy shit, the surgical accuracy! And yes, I think your public processing can be better than other means of therapy. I appreciate your answer, too.
sorry to hear about your brother,stay strong
Have you tried dodging under it?
Ah, that. Tried it a few times. Ended up deciding I'd stop doing it.
Understandable. There were so many heart-felt, meaningful comments on your video that I decided to balance it out with something flippant and stupid (a specialty of mine).
I do respect the hell out of you for your dedication to your brother through these videos though. It has had an impact on me.
@@andrewdiorio4555 Flippancy and stupidity have their place. Jamison enjoyed them and wouldn't want them to go away just because he did. I had no idea you were watching these. I really appreciate it. Feel free to drop more comments now and then. They actually help my videos get recommended to more people. (TH-cam interprets every comment as a positive sign that people are engaging with the video.)
And I don't know if you've watched the older episodes of this series, but I feel like the stuff in the late 20s, 30s, and 40s is the best I've done, not in terms of visual quality (that's always getting better as I get better at it), but content-wise. Not every one of these is me talking in a room like this one, and although I'm really happy with the hiking vlogs, those aren't the only other type I've made. The topics I pick aren't always relevant in very obvious ways, but I think those with initially unclear connections are some of the most interesting, possibly some that Jamison himself would have enjoyed most, and they might be the ones I'm most proud of. A lot of people only seem to watch (a bit) or even notice that I've shared one at all when it's specifically a death anniversary-focused episode, as if that makes it matter more than the others, but in reality these anniversary episodes tend to be more static and less creative.
Long comment, and people always seem to clam up when I explain this. Of course I appreciate you watching any at all. If you ever want recommendations for episodes I'm particularly happy with (I'm glad I made all of them, but several stand out to me), I've definitely got them. Thanks man.