Jokes About EVERY Diet Ever. Dry Bar Comedy
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 มิ.ย. 2024
- Jokes about every diet ever as told by some of your favorite Dry Bar Comedians. In this first of its kind MEGA compilation we've packed together 2 hours of hilarious comedy revolving around every diet ever. Whether it's a vegan diet, being a vegetarian or just being annoying this Dry Bar Comedy MEGA compilation has a little something for everyone and is sure to keep you laughing from start to finish, or at least for however long you watch it.
You can watch all of these comedians full special's plus hundreds of more comedy specials on the Dry Bar Comedy + App. www.drybarcomedy.com/
Come See Dry Bar Comedy On Tour
store.drybarcomedy.com/pages/...
Comedians featured in this compilation include:
VEGANS - 0:00
Karen Rontowski, Joe Bronzi, Collin Moulton, Alex Velluto, Lee Hardin, Matthew Jenkins, Larry Weaver, Jeff Applebaum, Jason Salmon, Kortney Shane Williams, Erica Rhodes, Andy Hendrickson, Travis Nelson, Karen Morgan, Bob Smiley, Josh Sneed,
VEGETARIANS - 20:01
Josh Fonokalafi, Glen Tickle, Brad Stine, Bryan Miller, Landry, Keith Barnay, Tony Deyo, Nancy Norton, Larry Omaha, Casey Peruski, Marty Pollio, James Gregory,
DIETS - 43:49
Jeff Applebaum, Jessi Campbell, Costaki Economopoulos, Rob Little, Paul Sheffield, Marc Yaffee, Landry, Jeff Allen, Corey Rodrigues, Heath Harmison, Sean Peabody, Robert G Lee,
GLUTEN FREE - 1:07:50
Drew Barth, Heath Harmison, Dwight Slade, Cash Levy, Kevin Bozeman, Kevin Jordan, Kortney Shane Williams, Jesse Egan,
KETO - 1:14:51
Jonnie W, Jeff Allen, Chris Strait, Rodney Norman
OTHER DIETS - 1:22:15
Susan Jones, Tom Voss, Costaki Economopoulos, Josh Sneed, Leanne Morgan, Steve Soelberg, Nikki Carr, Josh Fonokalafi, Chris Voth, Tom Mabe, Jessi Campbell, Scott Long, Danny Villalpando, Jenna Kim Jones, Rik Roberts, Leighann Lord, Cash Levy, Brain Aprille, Brandon Young, Rodney Norman, Steve Bruner,
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#drybar #comedy #standup - ตลก
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“If you’re more texan than me you’re Mexican” 😂👏🏽
🤭😊🤣💀☠️
😅
Witty🤭
Timestamp please?
@@dayvraezer6346 7:56
The other day I choked on a carrot. I thought to myself: "A donut would never betray me like that."
That’s hilarious. 💖
I loved that! Lol.
lol
Omg I choked on my drink reading this! Love it!
I laughed so hard my pince-nez fell off my nose. 🤣
"14 plates, 12 calories, what's goin' on here?" that killed me, so true! 😂😂
"Had to eat cereal with a fork to save on milk." I'm ded 🤣
Waterboarding the squirrels to find out when the deer arrive😂😂
The people that decorate the background are just awesome! They do a really good job. It's always different and cool.
... and here, all I was doing, was paying attention to the jokes...
J/K. 😜
Yep, that looks like such a fun job.
Yeah, you can tell that Dry Bar is a real passion project for everyone involved! I wanna visit someday!
Pool
I've thought the same thing before!♡°♡
I LOVE Dry Bar! Outstanding comedians and no filth. Thanks, Dry Bar!
It’s the “no filth” part I like. Gotta be really clever and truly funny just cleaning up their act, right?
Dry bar only employs clean comedians
by the looks of this video, the rules are so restrictive that they all have to tell the same tired jokes
The almond milk part is quite sus tho 😂
They only produce and promote clean comedians
04:10 dude kills me every time, my guy went vegan and turned antianimal all at the same time lmao
Take a shot every time someone says “they’re in here they’re just too weak to raise their arms” guaranteed to be blackout 30 mins in
right!!
Unfortunately for us this is Drybar. No drinking allowed!
But your comment was funnier than this video!
LOL totally 😂
Kiiiind of just proves the misconception of it plant diet lol yes all jokes but the fact that every other person said it really speaks volumes. Been plant based for 2 years and I am by far the healthiest and even stronger than I ever have been . All the other jokes were great but that joke is just lame and a weak attempt. O well lol
And boy are their wings tired
Almond "milk": 3 almonds blended in a quart of water sold for twice the price of milk. Just eat three almonds and chase them down with a glass of water.
Once I told a farmer, very humble chap, that I didn't eat meat. He thought about it for a second and then said: "It is really easy to take care of you, then. You are like a cow or a rabbit."
htfjtfkjkugkydk
😅😅
😊😊😊
😂😂😂
was he hoping you shared hobbies with the rabbit?
I can relate to to the guy who was vegetarian until he broke up with his girlfriend. I lived with my ex in Cali for 4 years and was vegetarian for 2 of those years. We broke up, I moved back home to Philly and one of the first things I did was buy and eat a cheesesteak.
And i bet you ran to nearest toilet 🤣
Philly up
Ok....
No Philly Cheesesteak?!! 🤣🤣
Lmao
The milking almonds joke slayed me… 😂
watching this on opening day of deer season as Im putting meat into freezer bags.
Bravo for the Mexican joke. A man with culture.
All these comedians really helped during 2020. Thanks to all✌💜
Yo relatable AF
2020 was the year I binged more stand up comedian content more than I collectively have in my entire life before the fact.
A nice get away from all the political nonsense.
Spirit animal guy absolutely had me rolling. And his voice sounds like Winnie the Pooh for some reason, I love it.
He does give off teddy-bear vibes 😊
Jeff Allen had me WHEEZING with the rice cakes 😭😭😭😭😭
My ancestors did not claw their way to the top of the food chain so I can eat a carrot. Thank you.
Heath Harmison seems like that one teacher in the school every student loved because he was cooler, more youthful, funnier and laid back and managed to get us emotionally invested in the subject we taught
so funny... there's so such thing in my country...i mean, if we have something, ANYTHING to eat for the day, then we're all greatful.
Where are you from? Makes my heart break!
Yes, if we want to feed the world, we all need to eat grains. That's what feeds the world.
Spam. If you don't have enough to eat, you definitely can't afford an internet bill
@@kriscent1
In some countries, internet is a public utility or even free (government provided with taxpayer funds.)
internets free-@@kriscent1
43:59 To be fair a lot has evolved in agriculture. Some people say they are allergic to wheat in the USA; but then they go to Europe and they are fine.
GMO’s
Pesticides,GMO , herbicides and chemical fertilizers
it's the ingredience they add. I can't eat certain ones from the same company. My girlfriends daughter was constantly being rushed to the hospital. She couldn't eat fries, cake, all kinds of odd foods. They thought she was poisoning her. Looking back now, because I and my son had food allergies at one point. I realized our bodies had too much of it and your body is reacting to it, saying to stop eating it for a while, because it has enough and doesn't want any more. That's why we crave certain foods and we have enough causing a body reaction. Corn is an ingredient found in a lot of foods. I think it has caused a lot of problems. Just like P&J that was a favorite lunch . Corn is in everything and corn surup sticks to you. Their just not aware of the added ingredients, their body is reacting to probably. Oil could be the problem, like peanut oil & corn oil used in packaged foods. This is scary, because of the reactions you can get from them can be so painful. I couldn't move because of the pain for about a day and a 1/2. That is no fun, but these jokes are!
@@kcallaghan7839 lumess hiilonlujheu
No ou no you be hzduiii
Hugh T I enjoo b de my Ituiutaba
Hupessoal de i
MBo jig
@@markchilluffo9638 hi uus
Sn on
UlO I
Hi b
Ok Izumi I be free
Can't even cook when the chicken is watching lmfao 😂😂😂
I still talk about how great the school cafeterias were. I would be so excited everyday to see the lunch lady with the cigarette hanging out of her mouth. She was a great cook
🤣
The second guy killed me with the giggles
In Germany and some other countries it has to be labelled as Drink. So there's Almond drink, soy drink, oat drink and so on.
“My Mr. Potatohead had a face.” That one killed me. All the jokes were great, but that one caught me off guard.
Some of these were absolutely hilarious, yes, my family is vegan.
This is an interesting sentence...lol
See?! Love a sense of humor
I am a Vegan and this is hysterical to me!!!! loved it
I was once vegan because I wanted to try it for a year, then pescetarian the next year. It was really so much fun to discover how my sense of taste change, how my body change. I am really enjoing these videos.
I actually used to play with mercury. I found a tube of it in dad’s stuff in the attic. He had a box of crap from his college days. I’d roll it around the floor. Course the house had lead paint as well.
That is one Toxic house 😮😮😢
I love Karen Rontowski’s quirky, hilarious humor.
When I ate vegeterian, everybody got upset with me. I ate most things, never had trouble finding something on the menu within my diet, improved the planet and was constantly pressured to change my diet. Now, I eat keto which is nearly all meat, but nothing with carbs. I have trouble finding anything at the grocery store, can't go to any restaurant, have a diet that costs considerably more to the ecology and face absolutely no social pressure from anybody to change. Go figure!
Aren' t you constipated?
It seems that it's time to go back to vegetarianism. Economically it makes more sense. When I was vegan I had to be very flexible and prepared because a lot of places do not care if your chicken and your carrot were mixed up in the same frying pan. So I gave up veganism and became vegetarian, it was pretty much the same, but less worrisome.
When I adopted a pescetarian diet _(predominantly vegetarian/vegan food + periodically supplementing the diet with certain kinds of seafood)_ people encouraged me, supported me, learned new recipes, and some even doted over me - still happens sometimes. You were hanging around toxic people
People tell me how unhealthy and impossible keto is. Funny how i get healthier on it.
Keto is so easy. Carnivore is a little more difficult at first but now I I wouldn change for anything. It easily weaned me from 50 years of Carbaholism and alcohol. Love it!!
I can't friggin breathe! That first female comic was hysterical! 😂🤣
Thanks to the person who created this compilation.
It's a great sampling of some really great talent!!
I will definitely keep an eye open for additional content!!
Fun fact of the day: olives are native to Mediterranean areas, so they are not cultivated in Southeast Asia, which is typically too hot and humid for olives to grow well. Hence, "no Malaysian children were harmed in the making of these olives" would be true even if the olives were purchased from a non-fair trade store 😂
Drybar, PLEASE do a playlist of all your awesome compilations! I love them. But they're hard for us to find now that you've done so many, unless we can remember every single topic. Pretty please! Thank you 😘
Have you tried "Dry bar compilations?"
I love that hefty giggle he has. Makes me laugh a little bit more with each joke it's awesome. Like a second wind to each joke!
Oh, I love that this was all vegan jokes! Vegan 15 years and I laughed out loud the whole video!
And you’re still alive? Wow
Eating cereal with a fork to save on milk bc you're poor is real. We lived it, lol.
Spon costs just as much as a fork. It has nothing to do with being poor. We had it hard but we had all of the silverware
@@user-kk7bh2li3l no, you use a fork so that less milk is required. IYKYK.
@@Storm_Lily that's not nomal
@@user-kk7bh2li3l it's what my mom had us do to save money because we were poor, and milk is expensive. When I met my husband years later, he told me the same story from his childhood. That's why that part of the vid was so funny for some of us. We lived it.
@@user-kk7bh2li3l15:30 is the time stamp if you need to see it again...
"No product contains an ingredient that comes from an animal.
Well, that's ironic, 'cause this is some bullsh..." LOOOL!!
As someone who needs to be gluten and dairy free I think it is wonderful that you created a whole program around this issue. It is a sad reality in todays food marketplace where almost Everything is made with dairy and wheat so to hear jokes about it helps take the edge off the challenging reality. The benefits of my limitation diet are immense. At 63 my brain works better, bloated belly is gone, the list of benefits is long, it is joyous to feel so good after a lifetime of challenges. Thank you.
The only people who need to avoid gluten are people with Celiac Disease or an allergy to gluten.
"Do you have an eating outfit?"
Yes, I eat in whatever outfit I'm wearing. 😆🤣
As a kid with a strict mom, sleepovers were my cheat days. I was always amazed my friends would leave a bowl of sugary, colorful cereal to get soggy. It looked like a bowl of massacred unicorns. If you are going to kill a rainbow unicorn, at lease eat it!
I read in a very old book once that there is only one true vegan joke. We saw it here, over and over again.
And you tell it to a vegan, they can’t get mad at you, they don’t have the energy to!
To be fair, there are two.
@@JohnGramer06 and not true.
@@JohnGramer06 lol
Hope it's not the "vegans are too weak to...". Funny jokes are about half exaggeration and half reality, but that joke has no real basis whatsoever. I know some badass vegans, and some very weak people who eat way too much meat.
Apparently he's never seen cupcake wars because there's always ALWAYS one group that makes either vegan or gluten free cupcakes lol
I assume you meant “Gluten” since no cupcake is Glutton-free! 😂
Ok ok ok. I'm sorry I missed her name but the first woman was freaking awesome. Found out it's the fastest way to annoy people is perfect.
:D A whole comedy show all about my diet, yes! It's so relatable, went from being obsessed with meat, to vegan, over 3 year process.
Except the animals that raid the vegetable garden. BAMM!
I hate vegans.
Vegans eat my food.
Vegans eat the food that my food eats.
*A whole twenty minutes
Took me a second to get the prysism joke 😂😂😂😂😂😂
if you're more texan than that then you're mexican. had to laugh on that and funny thing is that i'm half hispanic living in colorado and had a good laugh at that
Funny, an ad came on while I was watching this about KFC spicy fried chicken!
I made cookies in my belly! 🤣🤣🤣
My favourite sandwich as a kid was a thick layer of mashed potatoes between two slices of white bread and I had four of those for lunch every day. Good times.
Mayo sandwiches were my fav
I like sandwiches and mash potatoes nut that sounds gross
My doctor has me on a diet to lose weight. I've eaten so many salads even the wild rabbits that run through my yard are starting to look sexy! And having to read the labels on EVERYTHING to determine what I don't like and have to eat is crazy!
"So poor we ate cereal with a fork to save on milk" 😂
Jacksonville, Florida with no humidity outside? I always had to make sure my defroster was on before I crossed the intercoastal waterway at 5 a.m. on my drive to Neptune Beach.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 being vegan means you can't even cook when the chicken is watching.
I don't eat meat and I can't stop laughing.
Nice juicy greasy cheese burger 🍔 with salad . I'm both. Lol
I loved to hear the UP (upper peninsula of MI) mentioned! I am a born & bred Yooper. I have been vegan for 15 years and my family is still a bit mystified by it!
You can sprinkle cuss words into almost anything and get a chuckle out of it, try it without that crutch and you really appreciate what these funny guys and gal’s are going
That's not true. Cussing in itself isn't funny, and people won't laugh unless you have something of substance to say. "Clean" comics have it easy, because people come prepared to like them just because they don't cuss.
My father taught me how to make pancakes.
A couple of girlfriends ago bought some gluten free flour with which for me to make pancakes.
I did.
Once.
Never again.
I'll eat pancake shaped construction paper before making gluten free pancakes again.
I made some gluten free vegan pancakes and brought them to a pancake breakfast, nobody could tell the difference.
@@koadnonnash Different recipe, I'd presume...
Try Pamela's brand gluten free. No one can tell they are gluten free. Even the kids can't tell.
@@realbadger Plus different method. You can't treat gluten-free like it has gluten. Lol.
Nothing can adequately replace wheat or gluten. GF bakery products are just not as good. People with Celiac Disease must eat gluten free. Nobody else needs to.
I’ll board that ark with Jeff Goldblum!! Thanks dinojesus!
Load up Nugent. That’s funny.
Lots of fun, thanks!! 😀😃😄😆😅🤣😂
I am a proud supporter of the 1/4 mile vegan marathon.
1:13:14 I completely forgot how much I used to love spaghetti and meatballs on white bread, it has been 30 years since I had that
I hope you have it here an there as you'd like now life's too short to not have the things you enjoy once in a while if you get the chance ♡
I had a teacher who became a vegetarian when he was a very little kid, except for hot dogs. For some reason, he didn't consider hot dogs to be meat.
Understandable
@@TheRealGypsyJane😂😂😂
They aren’t.
They’re a petroleum product.
The vegan bakery joke was brutal (18:30). I am still crying with laughter
Yeah, esp since vegan baking isn't that bad. Thin Mints are Vegan.
"When I get on a plane and I look around I see a smorgasbord." 😄🤣😂😆
He's right!! Cap'n Crunch, searing hot pizza cheese, and bubbling gravy in a pie crust will tear your mouth up!!
Erica Rhodes: "How about we just.. never speak again?" So funny!!! 😅
funny that all of them said the same joke about vegans not lifting their arms is kinda like when a store item doesnt ring up and you say to the cashier looks like its freee huhhuhhuh.
Yeah, none of them have anything original. Then one guy makes a half joke about deaf people and apologizes for comparing that joke to a vegan joke. Here's my joke about meat eaters: I would ask you to walk quietly at night cos I'm sleeping but you can't because you walk TOO LOUDLY. Ha ha ha.
Yeah I thought this was miss-labeled. Diet jokes should have been vegan jokes. Yes they are tired uninspired jokes that have no basis in reality. At least be funny.
As a vegan I hate these jokes. Everybody needs to be vegan for the well-being of the entire planet.
@@freemangriffin4953 I prefer the : screw it, I'm burning it to the ground method.
Really lame, boring and predictable stereotyping. Vegan-bashing is old-school. No-one has anything original. A lot of vegans are likely stronger than they are.
In as much as as the subject is food: Two extraterrestrials sitting at a bar, one extraterrestrial speaking to the other one " it been a rough week, a couple of days ago I had to have two hemorrhoids removed ". The other answers back, " Don't feel bad, my doctor told me to chew my food better, I was having two humanoids removed !".
badoom, phsssss!
This video should really be called "People all tell the same jokes for an hour".
It's 1:55:03... almost 2 hours... 👍
Thanks again, DB!! 👍
Your point?
It's because stereotypes are repeated for a reason....the element of truth
Can always tell a vegan
Yeah, check out Patrik Baboumian, a vegan weightlifter. And others. The same joke gets pretty old after multiple iterations.
"We're both average painters" 😂😅
I've eaten gluten free bread that my daughter sent me in a goody box. Omg it was like eating cement it was gross!
Most of it is awful. Like a doorstop. I have a grandchild with celiac disease so I constantly try to make edible bread for him. The problem is that nothing adequately replaces wheat.
Costco offers gluten free apricots, proudly. When I brought this up to the sample lady she was so angry, I just had to laugh at her.
How the heck does apricots have gluten?!
@@ah5721 They don't, never have, bit she didn't understand gluten. That was my point, she still didn't get it.
I prefer my apricots with gluten and butter.
Gluten free bottled water.
I have seen 0 calory water, cholesterol free vegetable oils. And people buy them.. because it says here no cholesterol! Facepalm.
What does a vegetarian use mustard for.....soft pretzels!
I'd use some in potato salad or mac salad.
@@sweetmissypetuniawilson9206 ALSO a good choice.
Sandwiches 😋 Bread, lettuce, cheese, mayo, mustard -- delish!
@@KB-xs4cl sounds good if you like mustard on lettuce, I prefer mayo personally. I know, mayo isn't vegan, but it IS vegetarian. And since I'm NOT vegetarian, I'd have to add turkey breast and bacon to your list.....and tomatoes, can't forget the home grown tomatoes (hydroponic isn't worth bothering with). In fact I just had a turkey breast, bacon, lettuce, tomato and mayo sandwich on honey wheat toast for supper last night. I like cheese too, but I prefer to save cheese for on melts. I'm making myself hungry, I better stop before I go snag some of the leftover mushroom pizza in the fridge.😋
@@juliebaker6969 hahaha, that sounds PRETTY tasty! Used to love turkey breast sandwiches. Enjoy! 😂
I remember when vegetarian was a big deal and all it meant was no meat. Honey, dairy, yeast, eggs just no meat.
Me too. Going father back....50s & 60s - Vegetarians ate fish, eggs, milk and cheese.
Seems like many things have gotten MUCH STRICTER. I blame Millennials 😝😝😝.
@@joannaedwards6325 vegetarian still do
A vegan doesn't
@@roselee4445
Oh. Ok. Thank you. ✌
People crying for attention! I’m so special - Good more meat for me -
( being sarcastic)
Honest opinion - All the crap they put in foods these days Hormone jacked up in meat - GMO’s High FRUSTOSE Corn syrups all hidden sugars Got diabetes yet ! Alarming amount of kids ADD - Austism No wonder a lot unhealthy individuals. No DR or pharma made money off healthy people. All processed - I feel if you eat what God gave us naturally - Maybe the best way -
Amazing ! Funny without swearing 😊 Brilliant !!
I’m so glad I found this channel - ty to every talented laugh maker to Grace your stage👏👏👏👏👏
21:42 I cut my teeth on jerky, don't think for a second that a baby won't at least try to eat meat.
Nut Juice 😂!
Right 😂 uggggh lol
1:01:50
My great grandmother used to say everyone eats a pound of dirt before they die. She lived to 90 something.....
My kids are preschool age, but they love nature docs. So I taught them, "animals are not mean, they're just hungry." Wish vegans could understand this about their own species. It's not "mean" to eat animals. It's just nature 🤷♀️ bad for the planet with mass farming, but natural.
26:09 as an avid carnivore, im not offended that the guy is a vegetarian, im offended that he thinks he could clearly see, hear, or even notice, a person 500yrds away.
They 're passing out, get them hep!!!😂
For the first 55 years of my life, I was one of those annoying people who eat thousands of calories a day, don’t do any real exercise, and never gain a single ounce of weight. When I went out with the guys, they would order an extra-large pizza for them and I would order another one for myself. If I was dining out with the family, I was the Designated Finisher for anything that anyone couldn’t eat. I can count the foods I don’t like on one hand. I blush when I recall some of the private feasts in which I indulged.
I really like Dry Bar-very funny! Thank you for the video and all the chuckles!
It’s the trachea not the esophagus😂 Made the joke even funnier😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Did you hear about the guy who stole the calendar?
He got 12 months. Or maybe he was just looking for a date.
I laughed hardest so far at Larry Omaha and the people on the plane being like a buffet! OMG! So stUp!
-=8-D
I don't understand the constant references to the myth that vegans are physically weak. I am vegan. When I was younger I also boxed, played rugby, soccer and squash on a regular basis. My diet never had an adverse effect on me
I didn't realize Rob Little had been on Dry Bar (not surprising!)
I came across an old TH-cam of him prior to pandemic where he talks about his mom being an ER nurse.
I was happy a tough shift and eating my lunch asap.
I nearly choked to death bc I kept laughing.
Sound quality is bad when he interviews the audience but he does repeat the story to the audience.
You KNOW a story is real good when his eyes get really big and he says ok... so a guy and a saw... what kind of saw... ok... a concrete saw...
You KNOW if that's how the story STARTS it's going to get INTERESTING and he manages to take that story and make it really funny
I had a peanut allergy since the 70s thru the 80s and still. My theory is parents started using formula in 60s instead of breast feeding and then allergies appeared
That is what often happens. One of my babies was obviously fed formula in the nursery behind my back because she reacted to both cows milk and soy the first time she had them after breastfeeding ended when she was more than a year old. She had been sensitized as a newborn. Research shows there are considerable long term health benefits in maintaining a “virgin gut” (nothing but breast milk) until at least 9 months, especially in families with genetic predispositions to allergies.
7:00 My stepfather, the former Episcopalian priest would have LOVED that joke, almost as much as he loved his scotch.
55:53 That's literally true for me, only it was my father. I played with Mercury and ran through thick clouds of DDT sprayed to keep the mosquitoes down so we wouldn't get malaria. Sure glad peanut allergies and gluten intolerance hadn't been invented yet.
104:10 Wow, we've been in the Helicopter parent, no winners or losers world so long that he didn't even need to explain that joke.
This compilation is Gold. 👌💛
The most common doctor recommended over the counter diet in the 1800,s was,,,,tape worms.
This is true!!!
I’ve literally gained so much weight being vegetarian lol potatoes and pasta are my sworn enemies 😅😅😅