My Daily Routine as a Recovering Addict
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ต.ค. 2019
- hello thank u for watching !!!! i've never filmed one of these "a day in my life" videos, and decided to do one now that so much has been changing in my life. Due to the timing, i decided to shape it around my recovery from active addiction. But in addition to this just show my daily life with my animals n such. ***ALSOOO i forgot to edit in the bit where i turn all my animals lights on but in the morning i also turn in bindi's, twisty's, and sabor's lights. woops.
credit to / billwurtz for the piece of garbage audio during the intro lmao :')
*This video isn't about how addiction works, but just about my own experience, but my next two videos on this channel will discuss the cycle of addiction and how it works, and looking back on a timeline of the progression of my own illness!*
i also talk in this video about what early recovery looks like in general, and the steps commonly followed to take advantage of everything the recovery community has to offer (I include a timestamp in the video to skip this part if ur not interested in this information).
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MAIN CHANNEL: / @taylorndean
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ok i'm aboutta rant because i'm super passionate about all of this lol
****I state this in the video as much as I can, but the list of steps i mention are only suggestions to take advantage of every layer of programs that the recovery community has to offer to transition you back into daily life, they are by no means a list a person MUST follow to achieve sobriety. This list just offers the most opportunities to help you, because it starts you in the most protection (rehab) and slowly gives you more and more time back to your personal life outside of recovery so you can stay safe. Rehab is only the first step, not a solution to your problem. Discovering you battle addiction isn't like coming down with the flu, seeing a doctor, and being sent on your way to jump right back into life as normal. It's an illness you have to learn how to manage continuously and will continue to present itself in your life even when you are sober. Due to this, rehab will get you sober, but not keep you sober. What you do when you leave rehab is what really will determine your success, which is why even though all these programs may seem like a lot, they really do shape you for success by giving you so much support in your day-to-day life and personal challenges. Again, I'm not saying you need to do everything on this list. Some people can manage sobriety just by going to occasional meetings and seeing a personal therapist. Others need a lot more help. the illness of addiction is a spectrum and some people don't need as much "treatment" as others, and no matter where you are on the scale there IS help and you CAN accomplish sobriety! - บันเทิง
Thank u everyone for watchin. I messed up with a lil bit of the editing but oh well. Also forgot to put the caption under the part with my hedgehogs saying they’re getting a bunch more enrichment for their new cage. Whenever I move back out they’re being going in their old 160gallon cage, it’s just temporary! Also I forgot to edit in the clip of me turning the lights on in the morning I think ??? (I didn’t see it so if I missed it nvm)
ps I got my shirt from omighty clothing for those asking!!! ❤️
ANYWAYS, new video on my main channel in about 3 days and then hopefully again on Sunday, and then another second channel video next week. Love you guys thank you again 🥺🥺
Taylor Dean Vlogs your so beautiful
Taylor we are here to see how your doing , not your edits . Some of the latest skin treatments are actually really hard on your skin and can cause premature aging . You’re beautiful naturally , a real cutie 🥰 .
I have a friend in recovery and in drug court. I know it's hard as hell. Most poeple just don't know how hard it is ...n
U go sis. Also ur short hair is so badass, you look like female kobain (sorry if youve heard that before 😩)
You are gorgeous and an inspiration! Whenever I feel down I watch your videos bc they always make me feel better.
The fact that she called it a "cow outfit" and not a "cowfit" is a tragic missed opportunity
sacredsiren i guess you could call it a missed steak
elsa b 🤣🤣🤣
@@elsab379 You deserve a standing ovation.
yes
Also tragic, instead of pecan comic, they missed the opportunity to say “pecomic.” Bahahaaa!
“I don’t go out much in my life so if I’m gonna look hot for my therapy. I’m gonna look hot for my therapy.” This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever heard.
Isn't it 😂😂😂😂😂
So guess you are just it's all about me person. Hope you don't have pets or children.
@@marthanewsome6375 or maybe they're not and you're just judging on one simple comment, with no knowledge of their reasoning or background.
Sometimes I dress up for my support group. It's rad.
@@marthanewsome6375 if you feel like that then stay off her channel it's not that hard. People don't need to hear your negative at all. She is getting her life together. So if you don't got nothing nice to say then DNT say shit at all. Better yet stay off her channel.
“I don’t go out much but if I’m going to look hot for my therapy, then I’m going to look hot for my therapy.” As an introvert I felt this.
Same
Same
The hardest thing for me was guilt. After getting sober all the guilt just hit me.
Oh my gosh I know right like I've been sober for a year and legit when I started feeling guilty it was a week before my Birthday in March. 2019 I cried so much.
I agree as well, the guilt is the worst part of sobriety. However, it kills me using as well. So there's literally no reprieve for me either way. The only difference is that sober I know that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing for my kids. When I'm using, the fact that I'm still fucking my kids off is a huge part the guilt so it's terrible to feel everyday. But then I know I did it to myself so I think I deserve to feel the way I do and it's a vicious cycle.
Yoooooo yes. I'm 3 years sober and I can still start sobbing if I think about what I put my mother thru. It breaks my heart. the pure and utter shaaame is unbearable
Dam. it hurts. but I guess it helps to see I'm not alone after reading this small thread
I’ve been clear for years. I didn’t want to count the days or years but I know it’s more then four years. Now I crave being sober, there’s was a point I never thought I’d stop doing drugs. Now I can’t imagine not being sober.
Ugh. I felt that hygiene part. It's so hard to get out of bed and shower in a severe depression. It's the worst. You're brother quoting The Waterboy was EVERYTHING.
Luc same. I can go days (even weeks when i’m in a really bad place) without showering, But i always brush my teeth.
@Luc that is the one thing I will do. Brush my teeth. But shower...or brush out this curly hair..or putting on clothes...nope. lol
I love Tanner so much!! ❤️
Y’all nasty. Go wash that ass 😂
Chesseeggs&potatoes lol wish it was that easy. Easier said that done tbh
I love how she still cares so much about her animals even tho she has to really care about herself.
animals help trust me
she isn’t taking the best care of her pets though
Um her pets die like flies.. there is tons of proof how bad she treat animals
@@UnderworldSelene01 she did when she was still using drugs, she rehomed 12 animals and is trying to take better care of them. come on, she was ill, this is not a joke. did you watch her first video about it? she literally said that she bought too many animals, she was kinda manic.
people have no empathy for her situation, omg
I relate to this so much, when you’re mom said “you’re all clean” it made me happy, when I was in rehab my mom called to check on me and when the nurse told her I was in the shower she cried, i hadn’t been taking care of myself in so long, it meant so much to her just that I was showering. Keep up the good work, 3 years clean here, we’re so proud of you!
Hope all the best for you!
i'm not an addict, but i do have severe depression and anxiety. i started watching this while still laying in bed at 1pm, and it motivated me to get up and eat something. i even threw my sheets in the dryer and took my medicine. you are doing so well considering the hell youre probably going through, thank you for sharing your journey like this
You mentioned that the last step of recovery is to continue attending meetings as often as life allows. It made me think of my aunt.
She has been sober for 30 years now. She still attends meetings twice a week diligently. Won't make plans on those afternoons because "I already have meeting." My aunt can honestly say she does not have cravings anymore. She still goes for the people like you Taylor, and all of the other young people who may feel lost in their recovery. She goes to meetings to show young recovering addicts that 30 years of sobriety is POSSIBLE and that addiction is not a death sentence. I am so proud of her. I'm proud of you too, Taylor. I can only imagine how difficult recovery must be when you are in the limelight like this.
Same with my dad. He'll have 19 years in February. (God willing; I know there are no fronts in recovery.)
Wow love this!!!
Yo, tell her she’s probably saving lives just by doing that. I’m sure she probably knows though
More people need to understand how much of a struggle hygiene can be
Honestly, I have depression and when its really bad ill go weeks without showering, brushing my hair etc bc its so tiring and just physically and emotionally tiring but people never see that side of it. Its so normal for us but never talked about due to shame.
Get over yourselves
@@blanknone5408 oh shut up damn
None Blank u obviously haven’t been through anything and if u haven’t been through it, don’t comment on it and act like u know about it. dickhead
None Blank we all know you are an insecure little shit. Be quiet.
I’m going on 10 years clean this year.
OMG CONGRATS THAT IS HUGE
Is clean with prescriptions or clean with nothing?
Congrats!
That’s amazing!!!! ✨
bastard. i mean good goin 😋
Very cool. I'm a recocering heroin addict with 4 years clean. I was literally homeless on the streets. I now own my own home and run two online businesses I've been contemplating starting my own youtube channel to give some people hope and let them know there is life after addiction. Thank you for the inspiration. You rock!💪🙌💜
She relapsed. Go to her Instagram and you'll see it
U should start a TH-cam channel! Congrats on your sobriety
God bless you..thats a major accomplishment!❤🙏🏾
U mos deff SHULD start a channel ! Never Kno .... It might open new doors for u or jus might b tht glimpse of hope for some one else. Almost 5YC for me and I still randomly come across pages like this and will still watch them along with others like it .... I say go for it !
What did you do to help with the withdrawal.
when you were talking about hygiene i immediately thought"i havent showered in a week" and went to shower so? thank you for reminding me i guess? i have major depressive disorder and hygiene is usually my last thought because i dont have the energy
Like same. I am just taking a bath
I have Bipolar, and yes...
I feel like I don't keep up with my hygiene. Bleh.
It's only been four days, but I'm replying for a lil reminder about your hygiene :)
I'm proud of everyone here in the comments, I struggle with the same things as everyone here. It feels good to not be alone and I'm so proud of you all :)
Same, that was me in the summer (my depression gets bad in summertime) but now that the school year has started im starting to force myself a bit more.
I'm 3 weeks clean, cold turkey. First time in 5 years
Keep going
Yess that’s so good. Are you seeking support?
Yess that’s so good. Are you seeking support?
@@leonaswift3834 so far I haven't, but I dont do well with NA and stuff. Im good until they start talking about Jesus then I head out.. And rehab costs too much since I dont have insurance..
Wish you the best success in staying clean!
omggggg this brings back memories of being in a sober living house, doing outpatient treatment, going to court, having ankle bracelet, and etc. 6 years later still sober! i wouldn't change any of it. good luck on your journey girl!
Congratulations! I was 6 years clean and sober it felt so amazing. I relapsed at 6 years clean and sober and I never thought I would use again. It started off with moderation for about 8 months which i didnt think was possible until it was no longer possible for me. My point is keep going sobriety is so much better anyway. I had 67 days then relapsed for months and now have 7 days!!!
@@tootsmay4420I get it i have my struggles too, im rooting for you, you got this! thats what scares me it can happen at anytime.
Congratulations!!!
Keep up the good work sis
I really wish she'd do an update. I think about her a lot. Opiate addiction is a HUGE problem in the US. She is the ONLY successful TH-camr brave enough to talk about it. She had a lot to lose and still talked about it anyway. I guarantee YOU she isn't the only major TH-camr who had an opiate addiction. I hope shes okay now
She’s been going between relapsing and being sober for the last year. She updates on her Instagram and Twitter sometimes. I’m not sure if she’s sober as of right now but she’s been relapsing a lot. She’s apparently hanging out with really bad influences
@@JojoAndBay135she’s now a year and some change sober !! I’m so proud of her
I hope she's doing better and having a routine when starting over in life is the key. Me and my wife are also in recovery and a similar program. One love to all my fellow addicts out there
Finally, someone who actually acknowledges that things aren't just right back to normal after addiction.
Whole new life, scary but worth it!! ❤
Lol what? It's common knowledge that withdrawal, and recovery after is very much an uncomfortable and mentally straining struggle. Besides, she's full of shit, she takes zero responsibility for her own choices to use opiates and instead blames her ex. Then feeds on all of these suckers calling her brave and courageous and blah blah blah. That's how she continues to justify passing the blame, because she's just as much addicted to all this attention as she is heroin.
Ernest Gonzalez wow someone else who isn't brainwashed by her, finally. She blames everything on her ex takes no personal accountability whatsoever she is not a good role model for anyone in recovery
@@christadelancy2012 Oh no, I'm very far from being brain washed by someone who's that obviously full of shit. I'm astounded at how many people blindly believe, support, and defend her like they know she's innocent and compassionate.
I completely agree with you! I came across her when my fiancee asked my opinion of her drug stories, and said she couldn't stand her lack of accountability. Her claim of consistently using Heroin because it's her BF's favorite is one of the dumbest excuses I've ever heard for using. Shit, or the real reason she made a video demonizing her ex (who's obviously a piece of shit) 100% wasn't to warn others, she did it because she's upset that he left her and knocked up some other girl. She doesn't care about other people, definitely doesn't give a flying fuck about victims of the same abuse she claims to have endured. She was antagonizing his past victims online after being told by MANY people that he's dangerous. She didn't care cause his attention was on her. And even that psychopath got sick of her dramatic attention seeking bullshit.
The fact that she thought people would believe her bullshit reasoning shows her stupid and selfish nature. Anyone who's dealt with heroin immediately recognizes her bullshit. Initially I was bugged because I despise liars and attention seekers, but after looking into her more I'm completely disgusted by who she really is, because of what she's done and how she constantly passes the blame for EVERYTHING.
The worst is how many animals she killed because she views them as objects. She doesn't care about these animals, but she knows she needs people to believe she does. I mean who the fuck kills a kitten by trapping it in a bathroom and not taking care of it? She fucking does! Many many more as well because she would literally hoard them for videos and do little to no research on what they require. She's a total piece of shit and her actions as well as the excuses that followed are seriously upsetting. Anybody who's abusing and killing animals to stroke her own ego and feed on the attention she craves so badly is a piece of shit.
Every one of her stans calling her brave and courageous gives her the justification she was fishing for to continue lying, playing a victim, being a total attention suck and worst of all to keep killing animals.
Fuck that stupid slut.
Ernest Gonzalez “anyone who’s actually dealt with heroin immediately recognizes her bullshit” so true man. I would gain a lot more respect for her if she took responsibility for her addiction instead of blaming her ex
my parents are on heroin. it got so bad I was homeless and had to move in with my grandma. I don't even see them anymore and I still struggle with it sometimes but you can't help someone who doesn't want help. addiction is a terrible thing but i'm glad some people get a second start and get to live out a sober life!
Are u alright
I'm sorry:( I stumbled on her other channel because she was walking her adorable furbabies....had no idea about this channel. I've never had addictions. I hope things are good with your grandma and hope your parents change someday
I’m so sorry! I know it seems really difficult right now! Things can get better for you. My parents did drugs for a long time. Luckily they’ve been sober several years now. Things can change. Just work hard and focus on making your life as great as possible. I really feel for you!
riley r I feel you both my parents have been on heroin since I was born now I’m 11 and live with my. Grandma
@@dontrellwilliams7246 No, you don't have to wait until you're 18. You can get emancipated from them if you are 16+. Please contact other people in your family yourself also if you can as it is NOT safe for you to be around an addict. If you can't, or don't wish to do the above, please at least visit your School Guidance Counselor and fully explain the situation. This is more common than you think so don't be embarrassed, but you need to be in a stable living situation for the sake of your mental and emotional health.
Opiates were my thing too! I was clean 3 years then relapsed after my fiance cheated on me. I moved to Houston & now I've been clean almost a year. I truly appreciate your honesty! & btw... the hygiene thing & wanting to sleep all day.. i totally get it!
Her talking about how she has to now deal with feeling a whole bunch of pain again (from physical disorders) after being numb for so long is such a real thing !!! I experienced it to and it’s hard as hell
I am so proud of u wtf, to be this honest and vulnerable on the internet is so dope. wishing u the best and sending u healing energy
Natalie Romero
No pun intended? 😉
@@purplepeggy9027 smh that was messed up
《UNKNOWN》 《PERSON》 No,it eas funny. Guess what I am very likely much older & wiser than you. no offence dear. But, I've been thru it up & down & all around. If you can't bring humor to it. Your really in trouble. Please, there is NOTHING you can say that would change my thoughts. I am at tbe very far other end
now. & someday she will be. But, this whst posting comnents is all about. voicing our opinions. And hoping to agree to Disagree at times. Take care.
@@purplepeggy9027 seeing that you can't even spell "is" correctly I would say that I am probably much older and wiser than you are "dear" 😊 have a nice day.
《UNKNOWN》 《PERSON》
That's what you came up with? A typo?
😝😝😝👎🏻
I was in treatment for 2 years.
Of course, I was a meth addict for over 20 years.
I've been free from all of that for 12+ years.
💞
Amazing. Keep up the great work love. You are worth it🖤
Wow well done!! Keep it up, you're doing amazingly❤️
monkeynumber nine that’s amazing! Good for you! ❤️
!!! Dude that's awesome! Keep it up!! We're all proud of u
good job! so proud of you
It’s so amazing to watch someone live there best life as a recovering addict. I’m 13 years old and when I was 11 my mom died of a meth overdose and it makes me so happy to see you recovering ❤️
Emma, im so sorry to hear this- but you can do anything, in spite of the pain you've experienced. Keep your chin up!
Omg I'm so sorry..
I'm so sorry, I hope you're doing better
Like I didn't know that was possible. I heard of heroin overdoses but that's from you getting to relax and you stop breathing.. So with meth I didn't know you could overdose... I'm glad to learn new things everyday.. God bless you and your family and your mom isn't hurting anymore. Id like to believe she is in Heaven chillin with my japanese grandmother having fun.
@@AyeYoTay 😂 that's sweet
"ima take a chill pill- no pills, pills are BAD" 🥺🥺
i really appreciate how genuine and transparent she has become.
Same
Likewise ☺
I know❤️
I haven't showered in three days and I havent left my house properly in about three weeks. Mental illness sucks. Proud of you for being sober
Asha King ❤️❤️❤️❤️
take all the time you need pal, just remember it always isn't as bad out there as you think. baby steps. all the love x
Sending all my positive vibes your way
I feel you. Keep living that’s all that matters take your time on everything else 💞 you’ll get to where you need to be
Yes its easy to get caught up but have you ever got into a shower and afterwards feel so much better plus if you stay in bed your mucles get week and you end up being tired so prayers going out to anyone who suffers from this but stat strong we need you ,peace.
I really felt that “my therapist texted my other therapist” part lmao, I’m the youngest person at my AA group and people used to always brag about me to my sponsor when I showed signs of being a slightly better functioning human being 😂
As a recovering addict it is extremely overwhelming to become a functioning member of society. I easily get overwhelmed when I have too much to do in one day.
My girlfriend is 3 years sober and watching these videos makes me so proud of you.
Hey! Fancy seeing you here I love your channel! :)
Mr. Tattoo ASMR me too 🙏
Hi cool seeing u here, Mr. Tattoo you probably help lots of people with ur videos too. Helping people calm down and relax. I know they help me with my depression and anxiety.
My dad (Russell) started using when I was 3 months old . He died when I was 19 but I lost him way before that. Not everyone recovers, that’s what makes each recovery story special ❤️
Cass Surf Glad you view it through a positive window❤️❤️
yea that was the most unexpected reversal I think I've ever read. Makes me think your am writer/author.
God bless her dad. May he Rest In Peace.
My dad was the same way by the way, heroin addict even before I was a child. He died when I was about 19 too, surprisingly. But like you said, I lost him before that. It sucks. Addiction is horrible. I’m an addict now too. But I am high functioning and care for my family. It’s so weird how it affects everyone differently.
Just Me Bless you, sending lots of love your way ❤️
Hi, i am a recovering addict and at the moment i am trying to wean myself off suboxone. I just want you to know that your story is giving me the strength i need to kick the strips outta my life. Thank you soo much for these vlogs. I literally just watched your story on how you became an addict and.... i really really think you have the power to complete this chapter and add it to the index of your life.. just know you've made a difference in my life even though I've never met you. Good luck
Man those strips taste like orange shit
Hope you're doing well ❤️
@K Maxx Wow, irony this rich is hard to find. I guess you'd say this to a cancer patient too, right? Those stupid people and their stupid diseases!
I found your channel today im a recovering addict as well 8 yrs addicted to heroin i been ckean since 2010. I can relate to your situation i was in a toxic relationship for 10 yrs with a heroin addict. He left me homeless for a crackhead. My parents forced me into rehab 3 months I was bed bond I had no strength at all my dad had to carry me to the bath out. I thank God and my parents every day for saving my life. I just wanted to say be proud of yourself not many addicts live to tell their story. Your a blessing so congratulations 👏 and keep up the good work.
I stopped following Taylor on everything like a year ago but this video randomly popped up in my recommendations and I’m so glad I clicked on it. I genuinely missed her and I’m so glad she’s doing better. I’m proud of her.
Same here, yeah. I just wanted to see her trying to do better, and I'm really glad that she is, and she has a good attitude on everything.
Uh Huh as
Proud of you girl! I think it would be really interesting (if you and your mom were comfortable with it, obviously) to film a video with her talking about your addiction/recovery process from both perspectives. I'm in the process of getting my Master's in Counseling, so I always find it so interesting/beneficial to get perspective from multiple parties. Anyways, love your videos so much & I know I'm ot alone in saying how insanely proud of you I am & how amazing you are!
Yes
I second this ^ it’d be scary to post so understandable if it’s never created but it would be inspiring to see
I would appreciate this as well
Our routine is almost the same, that makes me feel so good about myself because I’m not alone. However, I’m two years sober off heroin and benzos. I love you and I’m proud of you :)
How long did it take u to feel better after stopping benzos? I am in the process and it feels like it's going to be forever till I feel "normal" again. Congrats on 2yrs.
Jordi Gellar I’ve been on benzos since I was 18, and now I’m 38(heroin too but I’m “clean” now, on methadone for 6 years). Ive tried to get off benzos soooo many times; cold turkey(had seizures, etc), rehab, I tried everything. I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll be on them forever, because I’m NEVER trying that again. I went 48 DAYS off of Xanax and was STILL having horrible w/ds. So, on the 48th day I got some and never looked back. I think it can take years to get over Xanax/benzo w/d. Good luck, I hope you have better luck!
Jordi gellar try winging urself off of benzos a lil each month or 2 just a little each time until you don't need it anymore or u think you can try without them never I mean never do it cold turkey
@@jgx0x0 heya hun
I'm off benzo almost 2yrs and I had fits and sweats all the cold turkey symptoms.
You can do it
My moto was fear the fear and do it anyway.
The only thing is I've have no support. Just me and my dog Romeo.
My partner and fiance died.
Thomas 12yrs he died sudden adult death syndrome. Not drug related
My 2nd partner of 6yrs died from lirka and benzo
So I really didn't we want to die.
I started coming down as slow as I could be wuse about it
What we tell ourself we end up believing a self limited belief it's called.
If u start telling yourself you ll never be off them
Well most likely you will just accept iti was exact same but trust me you can do it
Take it like 1mg a week or month.
Do it all at your own Pace don't beat yourself up if u fall just get back up and try again.
I need up becoming an addiction councillor now.
Once we break the cycle of what we tell ourselves like I'll hate myself or I am stupid guess what you ll start behaving this way.
It's all self limited belief s we absorb growing up as kids that we take in and it reflect into our behaviors.
I done addiction studies and analyzing behaviour s also physiology too
So if u change your thought s you will gradually change ur beliefs God bless you and you can do it
Remember nobody is harder on us than ourself.
💕🙏💜🤗
Same here. Routine is also about the same. Some people don’t believe me when I tell them how often I sleep.
Life after drug addiction is so beautiful! It’s even more beautiful than life before starting drugs!! You have a whole new sense of self and honesty. You see things for what they truly are and even when life gets tough it’s easier to cope and get past.
"recovery has no rules other than you can't do it alone" hearing it put that simply has really opened my eyes about what i've been doing wrong re: recovery, thank you
yes yes yes, reach out and ask for help!! there are truly people out there that want to help you. a good support system is so key.
Alone we get high together we recover
I'm so happy for you, I feel the "hygiene " stuff, I suffer from severe depression and anxiety disorders and your videos help a lot. Hope you're feeling better yourself as I remember you mentioned you weren't feeling 100%
I hope you had a great day!
Me too. People (who don't experience this) don't understand the struggle with showering/taking care of yourself in times like that, it is so hard. I've tried explaining it, but it's pointless..
Coming up on 3 years of sobriety here! Keep it up girl!! Here’s a tip.. even when you don’t feel like showering force yourself. Always make your bed in the am. It’s the little things that will make you feel “in order” and feel good about yourself. And don’t forget to thank God for another day and to keep you sober in the am.. and thank Him at night for keeping you sober !💓🙏🏻
I just want to say I'm a recovering addict of almost 2 years and I am so happy someone on you tube has talked about addiction. I think you are amazing and I am so happy to be a subscriber.
you know, you actually look really nice without the makeup and freshly washed hair. Your makeup skills are absolutely on point, but you definitely have a natural beauty. even with a breakout. Keep goin girl. you're doing good and you will get to a good place
I love how you talked about hygiene in early recovery. I could handle massive life issues with a poker face but doing a load of laundry or dishes was seriously overwhelming. I had to learn how to live everyday life and take care of myself again. Its still a struggle sometimes but facing it and tackling one thing at a time head on is the key for me. Take it one day at a time you're doing great!!!❤❤❤
Same with the hygiene...I would go days without brushing my teeth or washing my hair...dry shampoo was my bff...lol. I'm slowly getting better... but there are days when it is still a struggle to get out of bed...especially when the depression is hitting hard. I've been on methadone for 1 year....but only completely clean from opiates for 4 months...and some would say I'm still using bc of the methadone...but it's through a doctor...and it works for me when for 10 years nothing worked to keep me clean...so I'll take it.
Same girl 💕
@@kdaze10 we can be 90% made of dry shampoo still its OK! We clean!
@@kdaze10 dry shampoo is the best/worst thing thats has ever happened to me omfg
Fully agree. A life without heroin was a life with no energy. Still a year and half later - I’m still facing days where I canNOT bring myself to accomplish menial house chores or apply makeup.
Trying to shower when you're depressed is an extraordinary feat
I can tell that ur Additude has changed ((for the better))! I’m really so proud of u for fighting ur addiction.
Lol attitude
J H I mean like her additude... not her ADDITUDE... you know?
When I was at my lowest my family would make fun of how I wouldn’t shower. My depression held me back and it made me feel so bad
That's crap. I struggle with the motivation to look after myself so I get what you mean. It can be so embarrassing to be walking round with greasy hair but then there's just no motivation to shower, so you carry on feeling worse and it's just a vicious cycle :/
Y’all are disgusting lmfao take a fucking shower
Yung Accènt i feel bad for you! only bold in what you say behind a screen.
@@yungaccent7917 I'm happy that you're healthy enough to think like that :) but just accept that others aren't
Yung Accènt ya bro
You should try to do a grwm once a week to try to encourage you and give you a reason to shower! I have no idea really how you feel but I think it’d be a good idea ! Btw I’ve been watching you for like 2-3 years now and really glad you’re making more videos and getting better!
This is a good idea! We would watch it! You could even try out hairstyles so you'd have to wash your hair. (Also absolutely no judgement from me, showering is hard sometimes!)
@@mrbqkc Thats a great idea!!! Halloween is coming up! Maybe do some Halloween makeup looks Taylor?
Julia BB what is grwm?
Sandy Hagstrom it’s a get ready with me video
@@sandysgrandgirlssandysswee2492 it stands for get ready with me
As s person in recovery for almost 5 years, and who works in a treatment center, I have to say that I relate to so much of what you said. I was clean for 8 months before my doctor decided to try suboxone, because i was in such a deep depression, hygiene problems and all, and i was this close to getting high. Suboxone literally saved my life. My quality of life improved greatly after suboxone. Thank you for being open about that. The 12 step meetings where I live do not consider suboxone clean so I struggled with that as well. But i do Smart Recovery, which I love, and now between a job I love, my family. my 6 dogs and 4 cats, my life is finally "normal" for me, anyway. You ROCK!!!
I know he saw the focus of this video but I work with special needs kids and your brother is an absolute joy oh my goodness, he's such a sweetie
taylor: tanner, say something really inspirational
tanner: *sips capri sun*
same tanner
Rachel Lane just like a mood
Girl I feel ya. 19 months clean and sober today. Keep kicking addictions ass !!!
Jennifer Hayes congrats on your anniversary! ❤️
Weird I'm 18 months as of the 28th/today
I get my 6 months chip for Christmas! So excited!
Congrats!! Keep it up you got this 💕
Awesome job! Congratulations!
idk why this is my comfort video. always come back to this when Im super depressed. thank u Taylor
I was thinking the same thing. Like I always watch this and it makes me feel less alone; like it’s “normal” to just exist even if I, myself, am at my lowest.
Please don't stay on the Suboxone too long! I'm 5 years in and it's SOOOOO hard to wean off! I'm spending a ton of money to see a specialist now to help me get off of it. If I could go back and do it differently, I would've started with only 2-4mg and it would've been very short lived.
We're rooting for you! Keep up the good work! You're amazing!!! ❤️
You’re brother made a water boy reference & you looked at him like he was crazy Girrrllll lol he’s hilarious
I literally started laughing as soon as he said it 😂
that's what i thought!!! 😂
Youre so nice to yourself giggling that they were obsessed with your washed hair! I would have been so embarassed and cried if they pointed it out. youre really inspiring
You're fucking killing it Taylor. I can't imagine being in chronic physical pain, depressed, AND recovering from addiction, and STILL be able to take care of all your animals, and have anything left over to do basic shit like showering and feeding. But by golly you're doing it, and staying sober and I'm so so SO proud of you. Please keep it up. I see how much effort you're putting in and it's amazing to watch. You WILL achieve your goals!
I spent thirty plus years on heroin and truly feel your pain. I lost everything I had a career as the president of a publicly traded company and lost it all. The house the cats the family. I ended up in federal prison after robbing a bunch of banks to support my 7 gram a day habit. This drug owns people in a way that few can understand. I have now been sober for six and a half years. It is possible and you are going to beat this. Your honesty and raw emotion is amazing. I’m pulling for you. I know spend my entire life trying to help people get and stay sober. If you ever want to speak to someone who understands the voice no one else hears reach out. I’m easy to find. Keep fighting the good fight. 🙏🏼
I cried tears of joy at points in this video. As an addict myself I love you for your courage.💕 It is so good to know I am not alone with some of these issues. Seems like many people glorify mental illnesses & addiction. There is nothing pretty about any of it & people need to hear this.
Heather Hent444 I’m so glad you felt like you could relate and be reminded that we are all in this together. I absolutely hated the idea of filming with my hair greasy and my acne bad, and on a day so boring, but I just wanted to try to be as realistic as possible about all of it so I’m glad it resonated with people. 🥺 you’re never alone love!! Keep taking it one day at a time. ❤️
@@taylordeanvlogs7088Ok- You got me crying again 😂. Thank you.
“You’re all clean aren’t ya” so cute
“ Ma MA Ma Ma Momma says alligators are ornery because they have all them teeth and no tooth brush” I don’t think I have related more to anything in my whole life😂
If anyone don't understand the quote it's from the movie The Waterboy with Adam Sandler
i can imagine her walking in therapy literately slaying.
Why does therapy need to be glamorized
@@runawaylostmymind ikr
@@runawaylostmymind i think she was doing that just to boost Taylor’s confidence
Yeah but only when she showered once every two months.
Why are you trying to sensationalize something that shouldn’t be. It’s not about “slaying” what are you talking about some of us take this serious.
I can totally relate to the hygiene part , some days are harder then others. Just wanna say I am proud of you ! Keep it up and keep up these informative videos with your process
My mom was addicted to heroine.. she never got the chance to recover. I get so happy when I watch these videos. Keep up the good work! ♥️
Sorry sweetheart 😔
Ryn Loback ❤️ stay strong love
I’m so sorry ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss, rest in peace to your mother 🙏❤️
Shes not clean shes on suboxone
14 months sober. I'm grateful for every single day. Stay strong and keep pushing forward. 💪💪
Taylor, this is my all time comfort video. I cannot say how many times I have watched this video.
Tanner's Waterboy reference is everything
Tanner is THE best! I love him so much! ❤️
you should get a bird feeder outside that window, the kitties would appreciate it in the mornings!
Wait wha-
that’s a great idea!
Wish I could see the dislikes ... cruel for both the kittens an birds :(
Amara Oceania Goodwin I don’t think its cruel for them..
My cats love to watch the birds and we have a bird feeder in the front yard, the cats can’t get to them.
So safe for the birds, and especially the older cat just likes to sit and watch.
I think that is What the comment meant. 😅
@@amaraoceaniagoodwin981 how is it cruel?
PLEASE TALK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY FINDING OUT AND HOW THEY ARE COPING ME AND MY PARENTS WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT
@John Laurens did I say she had to ? God cant say anything without white knights these days :/
@John Laurens what a strange person u are .
Amara Oceania Goodwin this was a interesting online fight
@@kealeyherring4797 I was honestly just so confused
I would like to know about that too my family acts and tell me that am still on drugs getting off one drug to the next they think!
I'm about to hit my 3 year mark in about a week. So glad to find someone else going through the process. Mad love girl.
I really want to thank you for mentioning the hygiene thing. I’ve had depression(+ a million other things) since middle school and even though I’m better now I still have a huge problem with hygiene. I try to excuse it by saying I’m busy but in reality I really and just never have motivation. Back when I still had bad depression I wouldn’t shower for weeks at a time, and though my hair doesn’t get that greasy you really just feel dirty. Anyway thank you for this video, good luck on recovery!
I've realized I've hit that "don't care about hygiene" depression again and I now force myself to shower and do laundry.
makeup gives me a good incentive to bother washing my face.
You aren't alone. In bouts of depression I lose track of days and wonder if it's been 2 days or 10 days since I showered.
@@labaccident2010 please wash yourself
@@sapphirecharm01 I do! Even when I'm in a bad spot, I go make sure I keep up with hygiene. A warm shower is nice on a bad day, anyway.
Thank you...so much sharing. This is beyond inspiring for anyone struggling. The content you are putting out is one of a kind. People close to me have suffered from this and its cathartic to watch. Sharing your journey means everything. I don't even know you and I love you so much and I am so proud. Please keep it up, the difference it makes is unmeasurable.
I’m not an addict, but I just want to thank you for this video. I suffer with depression a lot and have done IOP several times, and just seeing someone else mirroring how I felt at that time is so comforting.
It’s also really eye opening to see what those who are trying to get sober go through in the process of sobriety. ❤️ keep going, love! You’re doing great and we’re so proud of you!
Exactly what depression feels like normal tasks feel like a huge tasks. Office definitely helps!!
Oh god! I start 24 hours before I have to do something special, just to talk myself into it....
Also, "The Office" and "Impractical Jokers" are absolutely the only reasons I haven't offed it thus far
Oh and I wait till the last min to pee... Then make myself brush my teeth at the same time, otherwise i would not talk myself into getting up again.
IT'S AWFUL
Nell Russell right?! And I hate when people call you lazy it’s like trust me I’d be better if I could
@@elgordobully for real! And I hate when people tell me i should "do this" and "go to this thing" and "why haven't you finished this" or "visited so n so" ..... I feel like saying, "Man, trying not to off myself and just get into the shower is about all i can handle today"
My boyfriend has to get up everyday around 7 he has to go the clinic for his methadone and counseling. It’s a hard journey.
Mikaela L stay strong, both of you!! it’s a long and hard journey but you have definitely got this
Its a long hard journey but tell him he is doing great and remind him how well he is doing and how proud you are of him.
that’s supposed to be hard?
@@andler5061 it is incredibly hard and unless you go through it or someone close to you does then you can't ever understand really
Same 🙄 and it’s not just waking up st 7 that’s hard... she was just saying that’s part of it. And duck yeah it sucks getting up EVERYDAY at 7 am and a lot of places have long as waits
you’re such a beautiful soul!! such a miracle and i’m so proud of you for taking the actions and coming back from the living dead :) i see so much love within you
I’m at the end of day 3 right now, and I absolutely cannot stop sobbing. Seeing your brother reminded me so much of my own. My bf literally texted me in the middle of watching this to pick me up tomorrow and pawn stuff to go pick up, and then you showed your little brother who looks so much like my own and it just made me break down. Idk just needed to share bc you’re so cute and cavalier, but this shit is so awful and real.
Soooooooo real. Addiction isnt as cute and privileged as she is.
I hope you’re okay girl. I was a IV heroin user for years I pawned everything I had.
“Pecan comic 😂 you can be a pecan comic if u want.”
I feel better about life now
I was a heroin addict for 6 years, during which time i lost both of my parents, went to prison twice, and lost 10+ friends to overdosing. I totally understand what you're talking about with the hygiene thing, i use to go weeks at a time. Those were the worst years of my life & i pray i never go back. It is a daily struggle for an addict to stay clean, and always will be, but this life is sooo much better. You are so incredibly brave in my opinion, thank you for being so transparent. It helps to know you aren't alone in this fight. Keep up the amazing work you're doing❤❤❤
Megan Nethery so proud of you! you got this and you‘re worth it stay safe ❤️❤️
Same Megan, same. Getcha.
Idt my brain chemistry has ever balanced back out.
Megan Nethery
And I thought I’d gone full bore ,
No matter how bad shite is you know deep down using will make things worse, keep it up babe 🇬🇧👍🏼
what was she addicted to
elliemortonxxx heroin
Aww your Mama was so happy to see you all clean ❤
Been watching you for years and I just wanna say... I'm also getting sober and began therapy for ptsd/depression so I get not wanting to get up let alone take care of myself. Sending so much love to you. Thank you for spreading awareness about recovery. Good to see you back 💛
Also, I think more people said it before but, you have a specific beauty/glow in your face which you can really see when you don’t wear makeup. Break out or not you’re literally so beautiful
I feel the hygiene part so hard :( when I’m in my depressive episodes I struggle with brushing my teeth and showering and it’s so awful. I feel like I’m just being lazy but I know it’s not the case bc I know that I want AND have to but I just like cant bring myself to do it sometimes 😪 I’m super proud of you though it’s so great to see your journey with recovery and I’m sure you’re helping out so many with what you’re showing!! You’re doing amazing 💕💕
It's okay! I can relate too! I hope you are feeling better!💖
I’m so glad I’m not the only one. Seeing this helps me because it reminds me I’m not alone. I struggle with showering and hygiene too when I’m depressed. It feels like extreme laziness to me, like you said, except I know it’s more. I know I’m going into a depressive funk/episode when my hygiene and cleanliness starts to slide downhill again.
@@iLoveTheBamx I thought about it too that I'm only one with thst problem and "lazy" but It's really about mentalhealth
I’m straight edge and never done drugs in my life but I found this video so interesting since I have severe depression and crippling anxiety and struggle to take care of myself and do normal things just like you and this really helped me out 🥺
LoveVanita please get help
I just wanted to say hi and I'm a recovering heorin addict as well. Don't listen to the nasty comments. You seem like a very sweet genuine person. And your not alone. It does get better 😊💕
*you're.
Animals are the best therapy just found you channel today ! Love how you care for them so much ❤️🤍
As someone who’s been suffering with depression most her life
I completely understand the
Taking shower part of the video
Taking care of your self is so hard when your brain just doesn’t want to
violet von vexx i relate to this so much it’s so hard for me to even take meds, I haven’t showered in 3 days amd even though i feel disgusting my brain just doesn’t want to cooperate
OPHIDIA literally me rn 😓
violet von vexx we’ll get through it ❤️
Sometimes taking one bath is enough for the whole week
Hinora and you feel so accomplished when you do to
"If I'm gonna look hot for my therapy, I'm gonna look hot for my therapy."
Girl, same. It's all about wearing what makes us feel good ❤️
I'm also in my early 20s without a license btw, so don't feel bad. I love having my mom drive me.
I am gonna be 20 in November and my boyfriend drives me everywhere and refuses to let me pump gas. He is the only one I feel safe driving me. I am to scared to drive myself. I feel like if I got a little Volkswagen I'd feel comfortable with it but I can't drive big ol cars its to worrisome.
Same!!!!
I got mine at 21 no shame in being late. I have extreme driving anxiety. I try to avoid it.
I am so so so proud of you ! I’m currently on 16 mg of sub....clean for 8 months. It’s a journey for sure but I honestly couldn’t be happier being a normal boring ass human 💕✨ thank you for putting yourself out there, makes me feel a lot less alone. Sending you so much love and strength girly
These videos are so valuable. Not even just for those who relate directly, but for those who watched family struggle like you have and couldn’t understand. Thank you for helping me understand.
Love the cowtfit. Keep on keepin' on. Not everybody gets how big it is "just" to wash your hair.
Can we talk about how cats help us with everything ? Sleeping, relaxing, getting up, laugh ?
Sometimes I wonder if my cat is depressed too, when she sleeps as much as me. Lol!
I just wish that they could make coffee or tea.. That would just be the best 😂
Kudos for putting yourself out there with all this! Been thru all the same myself and couldn’t ever imagine sharing the process/results with so many people.. shows an insane amount of courage. Wishin you the best with your recovery and thanks for making those of who’ve been there feel a bit better cuz nobody’s in this shit alone 😌
If nobody else is, I'm proud of you for getting and staying clean. I'm so happy for you. You did such an amazing job on this. I'm so glad and so proud of you. Keep it up girl, you got this.
taylor eating fries in her bed watching netflix is a big mood😂
evelyn j omg that’s my life too the office is why I get out of bed when Jim pulled pranks, Pam acted drunk at Chili’s, and Michael’s conctint need for attention that’s my life
I was watching this in bed whilst eating my dominoes🤣
I felt the hygiene part😂
I’ve been recovering from anorexia for almost 2 years having the disorder for about 5 years and I’ve been in almost every type of treatment from hospital to residential and honestly I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in years I’ve looked up to you for so long
Stay strong bb ❤️❤️
julia Maldonado im so proud of you!
I am so proud of you I am in my early stages of recovering from anorexia. These types of things are not easy to surpass so the fact that even just some people can gives me hope. Things like this really make me happy seeing people get better because I am extremely young barely entering my preteen stage. Some people think people my age can’t get eating disorders or have depression but that isn’t true at all. I suffer from depression, anxiety, scoliosis, asthma, OCD, and anorexia. I go through lots of hard times and have participated in self harm which I am not proud of. I have people who care about me just as much as I care about others. That is art of my problem. Instead of just feeling proud or accomplished when I please people I feel the need to do everything right on their behalf which is what led me to my eating disorder. I would completely skip breakfast and lunch at school and my friends began to worry about me. They would call at random times of the night since we already saw each other over ten hours a day because we went to an after school program. That didn’t matter to my friend. She had been in my life since I was two years old and even before either of us were born our families were friends. My parents split up when I was a baby so that was just what I was used to. My mother was mentally abusive and she couldn’t stand to look at me if my scores on anything was any less then perfect. I still have pretty bad issues with my mental heath to this day but it is a lot better then what it was. I had to deal with everyone judging me I was in every single school club or team and the lead in plays. While lots of people think that it is just fun it isn’t. I also am bisexual and I identify with both genders and most people in my grade knew that. I was extremely open about it and I don’t regret that. I have 4 different friend that are sexually different then most. My friend is currently discovering who she is in a matter of sexuality. This isn’t even my full story. My point is that anyone can recover for some it might take a little longer than others but it is definitely possible. So no matter what problems you struggle with you will be ok. That goes for anybody who has or had issues mentally or physically. I know for a fact that without the people in my life that live me I wouldn’t be here today and I most likely would have ended my life. So anyone dealing with somewhat similar problems you will get through it. Just know that you are loved. And capable of immensely great things in this world even if you don’t know what that thing is yet. Always remember that.
ED + a drug addiction was a wild ride for me. i’m sober from drugs but i recently relapsed in my ED & it’s so draining. it’s so hard…
I understand how hard it is to get up, I’m not an addict or recovering addict but I do have severe OCD and it’s just rough and it takes a while to get up and do hygiene. So glad to see you doing better though!! You’ve come very far, so proud! ❤️❤️❤️
You've come such a long way and I love your personality! Always have! Hope the journey will continue in a good way
I’m on methadone been on for 3 years been detoxing about to be off soon but I’m also on sleeping meds and can sleep foreeverrrrrrr forrealll🙄 but heroin free a year and 3 months ❤️❤️
Proud of u
We’re proud of u, stay strong bb
That’s amazing! So glad for you 💗
You can do it! Keep clean and you are amazing. Alot of people can't stop for a day, i love you! ❤
Congrats on tapering girl!! I was on methadone for 6 years and it took me like 3 or 4 to successfully taper with no withdrawal at all! It took a long time but was so worth it . That saved my life for sure. Dont give up girl you're bad ass.
I love how she gets so excited when shes talking about her sobriety. I'm so proud of you ❤️
I feel for you as I’m in the same boat you were 6 months before this...
Heroin addiction is no joke... I can’t blame her for my opiate use but a destructive ex sent me down the road to using the needle as well. Your experience has made me a follower in which I can admire and only hope I can be where you are in the future... thankyou for posting this ! Its been more help than you probably realize for ppl like me who have been struggling at this for too long. If you can do it in front of 1.34 million people, then so can I!
Just wanna say girl you are awesome, I’m deadass serious saying there needs to be more ppl like you, your so pure such a genuine REAL person, I seriously wish coud meet you one day honestly, been subbed & following ya journey for last few years & always return to these vids every once in awhile.. MUCH LOVE from a fellow addict in SouthJersey ❤️🤙🏻