From someone who had 2 miscarriages and a daughter who has cried so many times that she doesn’t have a sibling, I say don’t sweat the small stuff. Children are such a blessing, no matter when they are born or how spaced out they are. That said, it’s your family...do what’s right for you!
My brother & I are 8 years apart & we are the closest of close. He is without a doubt my best friend & we love each other SO much. I truly believe age gap is not an indicator of sibling relationship. My kids are all 3 years apart & it’s wonderful for us!!
My kids are 14 months apart and I love having them close together. My sister and I are 5 years apart and we’re really close. So I honestly think it has to do more with parenting and how you raise your family rather than the age gap.
My first two are 16 months apart and then my second and third are 15 months apart and I love it! Yeah it’s crazy but I know someday it’ll be easier. My sister and I are 2.5 years apart and we are really close as well.
My brother is 16 years apart from me and he’s 4 now.. and is my best friend! I think you can be ages apart and still end up being very close. It’s awesome to watch him grow up and learn new things.
I need to speak up here. Love is always multiplied not divided when you add to your family. Think of Drew sharing in the excitement of a new brother or sister. The first time I saw my daughter holding her baby brother, took my heart to a whole new place. It is so precious! You two as parents are the key. You've got this! Have fun and enjoy.
Just live life and stop all of this fretting. I was 19 when I had my first child. Then I lost a baby when I was 21. Then 2 months after I lost our baby I got pregnant again, much against my doctors approval and many complications, and delivered him quickly and safely. As far as Drew feeling less loved, she won't if you give her special time. Don't complain about being tired or worrying about Drew. She doesn't need to grow up alone without a sibling. Make up your own minds and don't worry about every one else's opinion. They don't live your lives.
I have 4 kiddos, 6,9,12,14. 3 girls and baby is a boy. It is so hard and all of the things you talk about are true. Parenting calls for you to be selfless many times and completely change your world. It's so hard on your marriage but also (if you put the work in) forces you to grow together and is the most refining work you will do. Your kids will be fine. They are a gift to you and your responsibility to raise but also are not the center of the universe. Its a great lesson for them to learn early in life. You are great parents to Drew and your love will inexplicably (only explainable through God) multiply more than double for baby #2... You can't imagine it before it happens but take my word for it 😍 Love from Louisiana!
Giving Drew a sibling is the best gift you will ever give her. All in God’s plan. In this podcast- Andrew is an optimist and Shawn is a realist- and it’s great how you give each other room. God bless.
My kids are 4.5 years apart. They are good friends at 22 and 26. What is most important is that you teach them to respect each other and celebrate what each of them brings to the relationship. No matter what the spread is between them there will be times they get along and times they don't. As long as they are being guided towards a healthy relationship, the chances of a good long term one is good.
My first 2 children are 2 years and 4 months apart. Our third child came 5 years after the second one. You do what works for you and things will be just how they are meant to be!
I really loved this conversation! Not at all where I’m at in my life but so good to hear how it should be talked about. Don’t stress her out though. You both crack me up every time!!
I have a sister who is three years older than me. Her birthday is January 19th and mine is January 21st, but we actually had the same due date! I would say I love the space we have in our ages as well as being born in the same month. My mom and dad were both born in January, so it's a great month for all of us! Love y'all!!
Well, i have 5 siblings, all older than me by years, the sibling closest to me is 7 years older than me, so you can imagine how the others are. Personally i dont like that huge age gap that i have with my siblings because they are supposed to be my best friends but i feel like they are my second parents at times. I´ve been in your channel for a little over a year and whatever your decide ill support you, whether you decide to have baby number 2 in 2,3 years o less or more, but no matter how difficult things may look, you shouldnt be afraid, of course prepared, yes but dont be afraid because from what ive seen your family is the strongest there is, it can and will overcome anything and everything. love you
I feel like you are thinking too much into it. The bath thing, one could give both a bath and the other could still put them to bed 🤷♀️ I had 2 under 4 and my husband worked away from home. I took care of them both all the time.... You don't have to have one kid only. And then you CAN do one on one and switch. Think less 🤣
I have a 4 year old and 17 month old. My husband is a nurse who works 12 hour shifts. I’m always doing it alone. And honestly, it’s not hard at all. They take baths together. The 4 year old gets himself dressed while I’m dressing the baby. 🤣
@@ambermoore7866 - I find it so intriguing that your husband is a nurse. You don’t hear that too often. There are so many negative people in this world that have this outrageous mindset that nurses are “girl” jobs. Nursing school is no joke, and the profession should be embraced by everyone - regardless of gender. I’m so happy to know you’ve been able to make things work, because I couldn’t imagine by husband being a nurse, away from home, especially in this chaotic time regarding this pandemic. Did you ever consider becoming a nurse as well? Just curious. Sending you lots of light and love! 🤍
Thank you for the sweet comment! No I never considered going into the medical field. We got married young and we had both agreed I would just stay home instead of getting a job since he works crazy hours we wanted to be together when he’s off, rather than me working a job and not being home when he’s home. It’s worked well for our family. And yes, he works with several male nurses. He’s a very hard worker. And nurses aren’t only women! 😆
I got 2 boys under two almost identical ages to Mallory. I was terrified, it was really hard at first. But it's sitting here watching my little boys so happy playing together with bowl and a piece of fabric laughing so happy. These moments are so worth the breakdowns tears and lack of sleep. I wouldn't trade this close age gap for anything
My sister and I are 4 years apart...we have always been close, especially now that we’re adults we are very close. My mom & dad always done such a good job showing us the same exact attention and love..I’ve never asked my mom if that was hard or not because she never made it seem that way ❤️
I have two girls and did not know how I could love another baby as much but the second you know you are pregant again your heart explodes and when you meet the 2nd baby all those concerns melt away. We have two girls two years and 3 months apart and as soon as the 2nd one was born it just worked. Its pretty easy to get them on the same schedule too. Obviously the baby will sleep more than Drew but I got my baby to nap in the afternoon at the same time as my 2 year old pretty quickly. Those 2 hours were awesome. There is no Dibs. The kids(after you stop nursing) will seek out both of you for different things. You are over thinking it. RELAX!! It will all be awesome!!!!
I think it’s SO natural for a mom to feel that having another child will take away from the first. I had those fears too!! My friends with multiple kids reassured me that once you have a second, you will feel like, well this baby is just apart of the family and i couldn’t imagine life without her! I’ve had two girls and that is SO true. I can’t imagine the girls not having each other! I can’t imagine life without both babies! So your fears are natural, but my fears were completely dissolved the first time the girls met!!
Don't overthink it so much! I had 4 sons and my husband and I loved it! They're all within 2.5 years of one another (with the 2 middle boys being 21 mos. apart). It may sound cliche but it's 100% true - your heart just gets bigger w/each child!
I have two siblings. My mom waited 8 years after me and 11 years after my brother. My sister and I both have birthdays in March and they had always been super individual. Jealousy for the oldest is just natural. No way around it, but it is important to remind her that she is also on this journey as big sister. Also, don't wait 19 years like my mom, it turned me into "mommy #2" and totally took advantage that she had someone old enough to step in. Love yall!
Having a second kid rocks your world... but dang it’s the best freaking thing ever!! It’s incredible to see your kids play together and love one another and you get another very special relationship with this human being you created!! There are so many factors that come into play when thinking about adding another family member. Y’all will make the right decision for your family 💜
My children are 2 years apart and it’s perfect. The closer in age the closer they will be as siblings. Love watching your videos of Drew❤️ She is adorable!
My grandson's are almost five years apart. They may seem different now, but once they're grown up it won't make a difference. The the pro to that is that the older child is mature enough to enjoy a little sibling, and there's a school of thought that they are far enough apart that there is less competition between the two. So, really, either way works! I was closer in age with my brothers, but I don't feel like I was any closer to them than if we had been further apart in age. Best wishes whatever you do.
My brother and I are slightly less than a year apart. I'm the oldest and I don't ever remember being jealous of having to share my birthday or anything like that. My younger sister is 5 years younger than me. I never knew anything different than what I had and our parents didn't make a big deal about it. My own kids are 4 1/2 years apart - not by our choice. We would have loved to have our kids closer together, but they get along fine - have never struggled with fighting, etc. You know this, but it's easy to try to "plan" but it doesn't always work in our timing. God knows what you need and he will give you and your kid(s) the grace to handle what comes.
Your heart will grow and you’ll be happy no matter when the second or third or fourth child comes along. I’m a single mom of identical twin boys and I wouldn’t change it. They share a birthday, heck, they share the same DNA and yet I still love them both so deeply. I do it by myself and while I would love help, it’s extremely manageable alone. The fact that y’all would both have a supporting partner is amazing in and of itself! Babies are a blessing no matter when or how they come!
My son and daughter are 6 years apart. Not by choice but because of situations out of our control. We finally felt grounded to have another and my first child has fallen in love with our baby girl. My son has had so many health issues and needed my FULL heart and attention his first 6 years of life. But we knew it was time to grow our family. Honestly, I feel it’s something you can ask God about and he will guide and direct you. Every family is so different, personal and unique. Don’t plan your family off of other family experiences!
My sister and I are 6 years apart. I’m the oldest and for me it was difficult sometimes because I wanted to play with her, but she was too young. So having siblings closer together, maybe 4 years or less, I think would be nicer. And to top it all off, my sister was born on my birthday! We say that we’re twins, even though we’re not, because we look so alike and have the same birthday. With that said though, I never felt overshadowed by her. We would share the day and celebrate together, which I loved. But we would also have our own separate parties with friends. And we felt special and celebrated as individuals. I actually love to say to people that my sister was my birthday present. It’s so special and unique to us. I wish you both all the best! Much love xx
So my little brother’s birthday is less than a month before Christmas and my mom was always specific that I would have to get him 2 presents, a birthday and a Christmas present so that way his birthday was always special. Sometimes you just have to put in some extra work but you guys are great parents and I know you’ll do whatever it takes to make that child feel special and appreciated.
Pray about it. I'm 1 of 8 kids. I'm 51 now. My youngest sibling is 12 years younger than me. I feel very close to them no matter the age. Not growing up because we were in different chapters, but as adults, it's wonderful. Also. My kids are 3 years apart. I only have 2. A boy and girl. They love each other. 3 years has been a good time apart for us. Jack was a senior in high school, while Annie a freshman. Great balance. Bless you!
Ashleyewoods I would love to give back to my parents this year who not only took us all in during the pandemic, dealt with a family member having COVID, helped me graduate from law school but also saved our house and family from the wildfires in California. They both said they don’t want a single thing, but I know that they’re both struggling right now and I would like to lighten their load somehow this Christmas. Thank you so much❤️
My kids are 13 months apart. They are 4&5. I have them both the majority of the time because my husband works nights. You just do it. You learn how to handle them both and it's amazing. You will be fine. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Also wanted to give you some advice that my father-in-law gave to me. My husband and I were newly engaged and we were talking about kids, money and time. We were out on the balcony at their apartment and he looked at me and said there will never be enough money and there will never be the perfect time to have kids. I was blown away! My boys are 3 weeks from being exactly 3 years apart and it worked out nicely because my oldest is potty trained and loves to help but honestly ANY age gap will be perfect because they are your babies and you’re the best parents you can be🙂❤️ love you guys!
Having another child is always a blessing.💕I have two boys, who are now both Dads themselves. I had the fear of not having the same connection but it’s the same with both and it’s amazing how your heart grows that much more. If I won the gift card I would be spending sharing it with the boys and my Grandchildren! They are all such a blessing. Happy Holidays to your Family wishing you many blessings!
I was adopted when I was 14. It warms my heart that adoption is something you would consider. Y'all are amazing parents and people!! You could truly CHANGE someone's world and believe it or not their destiny!! Love y'all!!
I thought about life decisions and having kids a lot when I was married. My husband was slow at making decisions and I was impossibly impatient. We ended up getting divorced because I was tired of always feeling like I was orchestrating our lives, and bringing up issues we needed to decide on. I’m glad Andrew is bringing this up!!
Having siblings Is amazing. My brother and I are 16 months apart. He and our sister are 2 years a part. We just lost our father and being together and to support each other is incredible.
Your heart just makes room. I was the same way and thought the same way. I couldn’t love anymore than I already do and now I love my second child just the same. You don’t forget about your older one. ❤️
Coming from a family where I was born on my twin sisters birthday, it did not make me feel any less special to share it with them. If anything it had a similar effect to when you have a big family and spend it all together on Christmas - it’s more fun, there’s more to celebrate! You’ll love both of your kids equally enough to always make them feel loved and special 💕
I’m sure you have received this comment 1000 different ways but coming from a family with three kids under the age of two at one time (twins and a Singleton 20 months later), your heart absolutely makes room. Shawn, you will second-guess that up until the moment the new baby is born (ESPECIALLY the few days prior to the new baby coming). And then all of a sudden you’ll never know how you lived life without your new baby. The human heart is an amazing thing.
I have a teenager. You will TOTALLY miss this baby stage! It's exhausting when you're in it but you miss it as they grow up. Also, the closeness of your children will depend on your parenting. I have a sis that is 16 months younger and another that is 6 years younger. The middle and I were close and did a lot of things together. My youngest sister and I are complete opposites and don't get along. Once we became young adults they revealed resentment towards me because out Dad was blatant with his favoritism of me. Looking back the three of us were raised in a very competitive home and everyone was competing for Dad's attention. You guys will do great with another kid and so will Drew.
I had my first at 21, with many complications. He was born at 28 weeks due to preeclampsia. I wanted to have kids close together, that didn’t happen. I struggled for 4 years not being able to get pregnant due to the weight gain from preeclampsia. I lost 80lbs, and I got pregnant, 5 years after we had the first one. He’s currently 3 weeks old and my pregnancy with him was amazing and stress free, we made it to 39 weeks with no issues. Let it happen, life is so complicated already!
My children are 4 years apart and I am glad it came out that way. We planned on getting pregnant when our daughter turned 3 but failed and we stopped trying I gave up I blamed my C-section. I was so depressed. But then it happened a week before my birthday I got pregnant. I was so happy I started crying. It’s the best though cuz she had her own time to grow and evolve. And now with her brother around she helps me out so much. She plays with him and are best friends he loves having her around. Shawn, I had the same dilema with having another baby. I was scared I was gonna love the new baby more than my first, but it’s not what you think! You’re heart really does grow and there is no room for rejection. You love them equally! That is how it will be trust me!
My sister and I are 9,5 years apart and we both feel that the older we get the closer we get. We are doing more and more things together and are great friends!
Your heart grows for each one!! I have 5!! You will both spend equal time with each kid and they will feel so much love from both of you! One great thing about having lots of kids is they always have someone to play with. You don't have to entertain the one all the time.
All 3 of ours are 17 months apart, and Andrew is right, you are in baby mode now, and it's best to get it done and over with while you two are still young, have your youth and energy. I have no regrets. They are now, 18,17, 15 we will be empty nesters in 3 years. Best decision we ever made!!!
I was freaked out to have a 2nd child because I never thought I could love another child as much as I loved my first. I felt that until the day my 2nd was born and then it wasn’t a problem and I had 4 kids in total & love them all. Everyone told me it would be OK but until it was a reality I didn’t get it and was surprised to love them all equally. Good Luck xx Just do what suits the two of you, you will figure it the more you talk together xx My kids ages are 21, 18, 14, 11 and I loved that spacing and they are all close as in friends with each other
I have 3 sisters. One 7 years older, one 3 years younger, one six years younger. The way you space out your kids will never prevent them from fighting like cats and dogs sometimes. They always end up in different social phases, growth phases, etc. They won’t be besties from the beginning. That being said, my sisters are my best friends in the entire world now...it all comes together when you get past the teens or so. We also have birthdays super close together, and it’s not even a problem. Everyone gets their special day. I love y’all, but you might be overthinking the situation 🥰
Andrew I completely agree with what you say about the whole covid situation because I've found that this year a lot of what everybody's been asking from God in the past several years is exactly what he gave us maybe not in the form we'd want it but in reality everybody got their answer wanting to spend time with their family and getting time away from work because they don't get a vacation etc. Life is too fragile and family is the most important thing outside of our relationship with God and his son Jesus and this year has been a big reminder of that.
I'm from a family of 6 girls. no boys. we are all daddies girls. =D the fears make sense I feel like every mom has them, but they don't have to rule your decisions. you can plan for your life but then don't hold on to that too tightly. kids feel your love no matter what else is going on in life. I'm now a mom of four ( two of each) ages 8,4,2,1. so we've had the longer spacing and the back to back. there are pros and cons to each. and we are the crazies that homeschool while having to live in a two bed apartment. it gets crazy. but you love each kid in a different way. not less or more just different. so excited for you all no matter when you all decide to have another.
My daughter is having a baby girl any minute now and the due date is today and it was a surprise baby is the fifth child and she did 2 years for her each child! 🤗 I hope you have another child, soon! I love you guys! ❤️❤️❤️
Love you two!! So much fun and brings a smile to people in such a stressful time. This had been a rough year. This would definitely make 2020 end on a brighter note!!
My sisters and I are 2 years apart and we are really close. I love it. We all got married the same year and we all had our first baby the same year. We get to experience life milestones together. Side note: I think it’s not worth trying to plan which month to get pregnant. You never know how long it will take. I have friends who conceived fine for first kid, needed medical assistance (IVF) for 2nd (due to how long it was taking), conceived fine 3rd kid. Also you put so much added pressure and stress on yourself when you try to “plan” the month and then it doesn’t happen at that time.
I had 4 kids. My first 2 are 2 years and 3 days apart, my second 2 are 18 months apart and there’s a 3 1/2 year gap between the first 2 and the second 2. I enjoyed every moment until the teenage years, those are the toughest times! So many emotions, thoughts, struggles lol. Parenting is the best, but definitely not for the weak. You guys are tough cookies and great parents, you’ll do great regardless of what you decide.
Going through grad school to become an Occupational Therapist. Literally scrounging for any money that could help me decrease my loans. This would be SOOOO helpful! Love you guys and thank you for putting a smile on my face every day.
With regards to your worry about loving both kids the same amount and as much as you love Drew now, think of it this way (I have 3 boys): With your first, they will always be the one that MADE you a parent. Drew will always be your first baby. That is always going to be special. But your second will be the BABY and so there's that special connection there. Then after you have a third kid, you have the special things about each one that make them so amazing. And it isn't so much that your heart makes room, it's that there is no limit to your love for your children - it's like saying that if you pour water in one cup and then you fill another cup with water that doesn't mean there's suddenly less water in the first cup - there's just always more love to pour into your kids.
Life will balance itself regardless of the number of babies you have. You have to have faith that every baby you receive is a gift chosen just for you. Life isn’t perfect and trying to keep everything perfect for your child will eventually lead to stress and heartbreak. Go with the flow and each baby will find a place within your heart.
The realest convo. So glad I clicked on this! You both are thinking thru it all so throughly and I just love that. We have 5 kiddos all 2 years apart - but we didn’t “plan” when we would have any of them. I understand many of the emotions felt and “what ifs” - praying for God’s perfect timing 💞
My two boys are 25 months apart...2.5 year old and 7 month old and you just figure it out. You still switch on and off with your spouse. I just took both to the library by myself yesterday so my husband could focus on work. You just figure it out and it becomes the new normal:)
I am pregnant with our 7th child. I have 1 daughter and will be 6 boys in a row. Fun times. My 1st two are 14 months apart and two others are 18 months apart. Besides that they are under 2 years apart. I love how close they are. They range from ages 10 to 1. I love having a house full of children. It is not always easy at all. And the unknowns of being pregnant during a pandemic and giving birth in a hospital with new mandates and such isn't fun. But the good thing is labor doesn't last forever, and before you know it you will be home with the baby.
Watching this while sitting in the hospital brings a whole new perspective. 25 weeks pregnant and on bedrest due to having heart issues related to COVID at 6 weeks pregnant. I also work in healthcare and have to take covid testing twice weekly. It's terrifying. This is our miracle baby, that the doctors said we couldn't have...and then to add all of this on top is scary yet exhilarating
Life plans are always great but sometimes life throws you a curve ball , we had a 15 and 17 year old and I was 38 and my husband was 53 . We were ready to settle down almost had them both in college when a surprise your pregnant. Yes she just turned 20 now but it was such a blessing because my husband was retired and did everything this time and LOVED every minute of this child. She was his world and still is daddy’s princess 👸. He has Parkinson’s now and they are very close.
As a mother of two girls (2 yrs apart) and birthdays within 10 days of each other (not planned!), it all will work out. Y’all are making me laugh bc I get Shawns concerns. I used to be there. But y’all... no matter what, your kids will feel special bc you will make them feel special on their day and everyday! Birthdays are only once a year. All good y’all... but wait until your ready!
In one week, we will have a birthday for an almost 3 year old, a first birthday, and Christmas...my kids are 2 yrs and 4 days apart and born near the biggest holiday. We just plan to make each one it’s own day and special event. But yes, it is stressful. Morning the lose of having only one child is a thing. Many times during my second pregnancy I just cried about how I ruined my kids life and it will never be the same. But that does go away. And the new routines and schedules and activities feel like the new normally.
My husband and I have been married 9 years and haven’t tried for kids yet. I was in school and then had to get started in my career. Meanwhile his family are popping out kids right and left but I am now 32 and EVERYONE has an opinion. You do you!!!
I had two girls who are 15 and 14 and it’s the best thing I ever did they are so opposite that the just fit together and drew will adapt and will probably thank you for it when she’s older
I'm the youngest of 3 and the only girl. One brother is 5 yrs older and my other brother is 9 yrs older than me. The spacing is actually great. Being closer in age doesn't mean that they'll be close. That's also pressure you're putting on your kids.
I have 2 girls who are 27 months apart both via c-section. Your first will always hold a special place in your heart but both girls will be your girls, they will just be your for in their own special way!!!
Our family is trying to move away from gifts but rather have experiences and make memories together. This would help go towards a trip my whole family can attend.
Mine are just over 4yrs apart. We had solo time with the first for a few years before I got pregnant again. Then he was in preschool when we had the 2nd, so we had one on one time with the new baby. Nothing was planned, it was just how things happened for us. Now, they are 17 and 21 and are still great friends.
We have 6 boys 29-27-24-20-18-17 the last three were the biggest. Over 8lbs each and definitely easier than the first three. They are all so special and so individual that you won't have a problem with loving them as much or shunning older ones for the baby. Love multiplies, not divide.
I have gaps of 2yrs, 8yrs & 12yrs between me and my siblings and I love all my siblings we're all close. It's not down to the age it's down to the family dynamic, a loving environment creates loving relationships, try not to over think it.
I agree that it is a different experience for only children and multiple siblings. So different. I don’t have any ideas except to reiterate someone else’s comment about praying about it. My experience is being one in four and the extended family ... WOW ... lots of aunts and uncles and cousins. It was awesome! The future is what you make of it. Have faith and it will happen as it is supposed to. Love you three (and future four, five, six LOL).
Finally had a chance to watch this one. I think every mom goes through those feeling of worrying about the attention being taken away from the first baby. It's good that you are thinking about it now. It hit me mid pregnancy and I had so many meltdowns! But trust me it will work out!! Seeing your children interact with each other is the best thing in the world (even with all the arguing :))! We are debating a 3rd and I'm going through these same feelings again.
You are worrying about things that may not happen. Just get on with it and enjoy the life you are given. You can both cope with whatever life throws at you. Lots of love and stay healthy and safe.
My boys are 16 months apart and we’re currently ttc, it stresses me out knowing our next baby will be 2+ years younger than my 2nd. I LOVE having my boys close together and wish all my kids could be super close in age, it’s the best!
My daughter turned 1 in September and my husband and I have also been contemplating when to try for another baby. We have some of the same concerns, and along the lines of worrying that the first one won’t feel the same amount of attention as when they were the only baby, I worry about the second one not receiving the same attention that the first one did. With the first baby everything is new and you’re trying all the “things” to find what works, what makes them and you happy, and you want them to have everything they want and need. However, with the second one, I don’t want to fall into a “rhythm” and try to get them to just follow in their siblings footsteps. I feel like sometimes everyone gets so excited about the first, but then the others that follow don’t get as much hoopla and excitement. I know I will be excited no matter how many blessings we are able to have, but that’s just one of the worries that creeps into my Momma brain.
My son is deployed and I have been kind of depressed about it. I love to give to others so this would help me to give to them without the stress of not having the money.
You will absolutely love whatever children you are blessed with, girls or boys. You have such big hearts and so much love to give. You will just love Drew even more, seeing her as a big sister, watching her grow in that role. And I have no doubt that Drew, as well as your other children if you're so blessed, will always feel special and celebrated, even if she shares her birthday month. You will be perfect parents. Your children will be so loved and cherished. Blessings to all of you.
My birthday is December 20th and I have a sister who was born 2 years and 1 day later. We took turns on celebrating our birthdays and I hated it. Every child deserves to be celebrated on their own day. I agree with Shawn on that timing issue.
Totally understand feeling like there’s never a good time in terms of everything else going on in your life. We’re getting married in April and would like to start trying after that but now with a likely delayed honeymoon, 2 good friends getting married next year that haven’t set exact dates yet, combined with the time of year we’d ideally like to have the baby it doesn’t feel like a good time but these types of things will always come up so just go ahead with our plans and adjust as needed.
With my first pregnancy the last half was during the summer months and I was beyond miserable. When we were planning for our second child, I told my husband that we needed to conceive between certain months because I wanted the majority of my pregnancy to be in the winter to early spring. And that's exactly what happened, my daughter was born in April. So, I understand what Shawn is saying
I just love you guys and am beyond thankful that you have put together such wonderful giving opportunities that will impact so many people this year! I’d use the money to go on a big shopping spree after Christmas, soaking up all the deals for me and my family!!
I love how honest and open you are to each other and us! You can tell you have made a relationship that is safe to do that. I totally get Shawn’s planning. I totally avoided certain times. I didn’t want a baby to have a birthday near Christmas. I hear so many that hate that. Love you guys!
From someone who had 2 miscarriages and a daughter who has cried so many times that she doesn’t have a sibling, I say don’t sweat the small stuff. Children are such a blessing, no matter when they are born or how spaced out they are. That said, it’s your family...do what’s right for you!
My brother & I are 8 years apart & we are the closest of close. He is without a doubt my best friend & we love each other SO much. I truly believe age gap is not an indicator of sibling relationship. My kids are all 3 years apart & it’s wonderful for us!!
My kids are 14 months apart and I love having them close together. My sister and I are 5 years apart and we’re really close. So I honestly think it has to do more with parenting and how you raise your family rather than the age gap.
Mine are 14 months apart too and I wouldn’t change it for the world !!!
@@michellemadley2768 I completely agree!
My first two are 16 months apart and then my second and third are 15 months apart and I love it! Yeah it’s crazy but I know someday it’ll be easier. My sister and I are 2.5 years apart and we are really close as well.
My kids are 2 years apart and it’s been perfect. Love little Drew! She’s adorable ❤️
Women HAVE to think about these things way in advance because it’s a huge toll on our bodies and lives! It’s not crazy. It’s just reality.
Well said!
“I thought about kids before we got married” 😂 hahah Shawn is right! Girls can’t help but have a whole life “plan” already mapped out. 🤪☺️
My brother is 16 years apart from me and he’s 4 now.. and is my best friend! I think you can be ages apart and still end up being very close. It’s awesome to watch him grow up and learn new things.
Not only does your heart expand to include and love another one, so will Drew to adore a sibling and her life will be so enriched.
I need to speak up here. Love is always multiplied not divided when you add to your family. Think of Drew sharing in the excitement of a new brother or sister. The first time I saw my daughter holding her baby brother, took my heart to a whole new place. It is so precious! You two as parents are the key. You've got this! Have fun and enjoy.
I love this comment!! So perfect! Took the words right outta my mouth!
You two are great loving parents, your kids will love each other and know without a doubt they are loved. Don't over think it Shawn.
Just live life and stop all of this fretting. I was 19 when I had my first child. Then I lost a baby when I was 21. Then 2 months after I lost our baby I got pregnant again, much against my doctors approval and many complications, and delivered him quickly and safely. As far as Drew feeling less loved, she won't if you give her special time. Don't complain about being tired or worrying about Drew. She doesn't need to grow up alone without a sibling. Make up your own minds and don't worry about every one else's opinion. They don't live your lives.
Andrew - most women have thought about how many children and when to have them 😂 I’m with you Shawn!
I have 4 kiddos, 6,9,12,14. 3 girls and baby is a boy. It is so hard and all of the things you talk about are true. Parenting calls for you to be selfless many times and completely change your world. It's so hard on your marriage but also (if you put the work in) forces you to grow together and is the most refining work you will do. Your kids will be fine. They are a gift to you and your responsibility to raise but also are not the center of the universe. Its a great lesson for them to learn early in life. You are great parents to Drew and your love will inexplicably (only explainable through God) multiply more than double for baby #2... You can't imagine it before it happens but take my word for it 😍 Love from Louisiana!
I could be wrong as I don’t have children but, have witnessed with others is the closer in age the less jealous between them.
IG-neiseg
I would use this money to buy Christmas gifts for my two kiddos!
Giving Drew a sibling is the best gift you will ever give her. All in God’s plan. In this podcast- Andrew is an optimist and Shawn is a realist- and it’s great how you give each other room. God bless.
My brother and I have a 9 year age difference and our birthdays are 2 days apart! He is my best friend and I wouldn't change it for the world!
My kids are 4.5 years apart. They are good friends at 22 and 26. What is most important is that you teach them to respect each other and celebrate what each of them brings to the relationship. No matter what the spread is between them there will be times they get along and times they don't. As long as they are being guided towards a healthy relationship, the chances of a good long term one is good.
We have 10-12-14-16-20....I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Holy smokes!
Your heart does grow. And we made our oldest part of the process and she loved it. Just try god will make it happen when your ready
Andrew, you are hilariously so excited at the idea of "trying". Best wishes you two 😁
My first 2 children are 2 years and 4 months apart. Our third child came 5 years after the second one. You do what works for you and things will be just how they are meant to be!
I really loved this conversation! Not at all where I’m at in my life but so good to hear how it should be talked about. Don’t stress her out though. You both crack me up every time!!
same! I am not at this stage at all but I love listening to their videos! I don't listen to all of them but when some of them pop up I listen to some
An “onboarding process”. LOL I have never heard pregnancy referred to that way! It’s great.
This is like being inside an over thinker's brain, I'm stressed 😂
😂 Ikr
I have a sister who is three years older than me. Her birthday is January 19th and mine is January 21st, but we actually had the same due date! I would say I love the space we have in our ages as well as being born in the same month. My mom and dad were both born in January, so it's a great month for all of us! Love y'all!!
Well, i have 5 siblings, all older than me by years, the sibling closest to me is 7 years older than me, so you can imagine how the others are. Personally i dont like that huge age gap that i have with my siblings because they are supposed to be my best friends but i feel like they are my second parents at times. I´ve been in your channel for a little over a year and whatever your decide ill support you, whether you decide to have baby number 2 in 2,3 years o less or more, but no matter how difficult things may look, you shouldnt be afraid, of course prepared, yes but dont be afraid because from what ive seen your family is the strongest there is, it can and will overcome anything and everything. love you
"Scaronti"
I'd love to use the money to get my husband something special because he works so hard for our family. 🧡
I feel like you are thinking too much into it.
The bath thing, one could give both a bath and the other could still put them to bed 🤷♀️ I had 2 under 4 and my husband worked away from home. I took care of them both all the time.... You don't have to have one kid only. And then you CAN do one on one and switch.
Think less 🤣
I have a 4 year old and 17 month old. My husband is a nurse who works 12 hour shifts. I’m always doing it alone. And honestly, it’s not hard at all. They take baths together. The 4 year old gets himself dressed while I’m dressing the baby. 🤣
@@ambermoore7866 - I find it so intriguing that your husband is a nurse. You don’t hear that too often. There are so many negative people in this world that have this outrageous mindset that nurses are “girl” jobs. Nursing school is no joke, and the profession should be embraced by everyone - regardless of gender. I’m so happy to know you’ve been able to make things work, because I couldn’t imagine by husband being a nurse, away from home, especially in this chaotic time regarding this pandemic. Did you ever consider becoming a nurse as well? Just curious. Sending you lots of light and love! 🤍
Thank you for the sweet comment!
No I never considered going into the medical field. We got married young and we had both agreed I would just stay home instead of getting a job since he works crazy hours we wanted to be together when he’s off, rather than me working a job and not being home when he’s home. It’s worked well for our family. And yes, he works with several male nurses. He’s a very hard worker. And nurses aren’t only women! 😆
I got 2 boys under two almost identical ages to Mallory. I was terrified, it was really hard at first. But it's sitting here watching my little boys so happy playing together with bowl and a piece of fabric laughing so happy. These moments are so worth the breakdowns tears and lack of sleep. I wouldn't trade this close age gap for anything
IG: haylierybak
I would love to win today’s giveaway for our 2nd baby on the way! Just found out and so thrilled ❤️
IG: hawhite1996
Me and my husband bought our first house this year and $500 would help us get started on our bathroom
My sister and I are 4 years apart...we have always been close, especially now that we’re adults we are very close. My mom & dad always done such a good job showing us the same exact attention and love..I’ve never asked my mom if that was hard or not because she never made it seem that way ❤️
I have two girls and did not know how I could love another baby as much but the second you know you are pregant again your heart explodes and when you meet the 2nd baby all those concerns melt away. We have two girls two years and 3 months apart and as soon as the 2nd one was born it just worked. Its pretty easy to get them on the same schedule too. Obviously the baby will sleep more than Drew but I got my baby to nap in the afternoon at the same time as my 2 year old pretty quickly. Those 2 hours were awesome. There is no Dibs. The kids(after you stop nursing) will seek out both of you for different things. You are over thinking it. RELAX!! It will all be awesome!!!!
I think it’s SO natural for a mom to feel that having another child will take away from the first. I had those fears too!! My friends with multiple kids reassured me that once you have a second, you will feel like, well this baby is just apart of the family and i couldn’t imagine life without her! I’ve had two girls and that is SO true. I can’t imagine the girls not having each other! I can’t imagine life without both babies! So your fears are natural, but my fears were completely dissolved the first time the girls met!!
Don't overthink it so much! I had 4 sons and my husband and I loved it! They're all within 2.5 years of one another (with the 2 middle boys being 21 mos. apart). It may sound cliche but it's 100% true - your heart just gets bigger w/each child!
I have two siblings. My mom waited 8 years after me and 11 years after my brother. My sister and I both have birthdays in March and they had always been super individual. Jealousy for the oldest is just natural. No way around it, but it is important to remind her that she is also on this journey as big sister. Also, don't wait 19 years like my mom, it turned me into "mommy #2" and totally took advantage that she had someone old enough to step in. Love yall!
Having a second kid rocks your world... but dang it’s the best freaking thing ever!! It’s incredible to see your kids play together and love one another and you get another very special relationship with this human being you created!! There are so many factors that come into play when thinking about adding another family member. Y’all will make the right decision for your family 💜
My children are 2 years apart and it’s perfect. The closer in age the closer they will be as siblings. Love watching your videos of Drew❤️ She is adorable!
My grandson's are almost five years apart. They may seem different now, but once they're grown up it won't make a difference. The the pro to that is that the older child is mature enough to enjoy a little sibling, and there's a school of thought that they are far enough apart that there is less competition between the two. So, really, either way works! I was closer in age with my brothers, but I don't feel like I was any closer to them than if we had been further apart in age. Best wishes whatever you do.
My brother and I are slightly less than a year apart. I'm the oldest and I don't ever remember being jealous of having to share my birthday or anything like that. My younger sister is 5 years younger than me. I never knew anything different than what I had and our parents didn't make a big deal about it. My own kids are 4 1/2 years apart - not by our choice. We would have loved to have our kids closer together, but they get along fine - have never struggled with fighting, etc. You know this, but it's easy to try to "plan" but it doesn't always work in our timing. God knows what you need and he will give you and your kid(s) the grace to handle what comes.
Your heart will grow and you’ll be happy no matter when the second or third or fourth child comes along. I’m a single mom of identical twin boys and I wouldn’t change it. They share a birthday, heck, they share the same DNA and yet I still love them both so deeply. I do it by myself and while I would love help, it’s extremely manageable alone. The fact that y’all would both have a supporting partner is amazing in and of itself! Babies are a blessing no matter when or how they come!
My son and daughter are 6 years apart. Not by choice but because of situations out of our control. We finally felt grounded to have another and my first child has fallen in love with our baby girl. My son has had so many health issues and needed my FULL heart and attention his first 6 years of life. But we knew it was time to grow our family. Honestly, I feel it’s something you can ask God about and he will guide and direct you. Every family is so different, personal and unique. Don’t plan your family off of other family experiences!
My sister and I are 6 years apart. I’m the oldest and for me it was difficult sometimes because I wanted to play with her, but she was too young. So having siblings closer together, maybe 4 years or less, I think would be nicer.
And to top it all off, my sister was born on my birthday! We say that we’re twins, even though we’re not, because we look so alike and have the same birthday. With that said though, I never felt overshadowed by her. We would share the day and celebrate together, which I loved. But we would also have our own separate parties with friends. And we felt special and celebrated as individuals.
I actually love to say to people that my sister was my birthday present. It’s so special and unique to us.
I wish you both all the best! Much love xx
So my little brother’s birthday is less than a month before Christmas and my mom was always specific that I would have to get him 2 presents, a birthday and a Christmas present so that way his birthday was always special. Sometimes you just have to put in some extra work but you guys are great parents and I know you’ll do whatever it takes to make that child feel special and appreciated.
Pray about it. I'm 1 of 8 kids. I'm 51 now. My youngest sibling is 12 years younger than me. I feel very close to them no matter the age. Not growing up because we were in different chapters, but as adults, it's wonderful. Also. My kids are 3 years apart. I only have 2. A boy and girl. They love each other. 3 years has been a good time apart for us. Jack was a senior in high school, while Annie a freshman. Great balance. Bless you!
Ashleyewoods
I would love to give back to my parents this year who not only took us all in during the pandemic, dealt with a family member having COVID, helped me graduate from law school but also saved our house and family from the wildfires in California. They both said they don’t want a single thing, but I know that they’re both struggling right now and I would like to lighten their load somehow this Christmas. Thank you so much❤️
My kids are 13 months apart. They are 4&5. I have them both the majority of the time because my husband works nights. You just do it. You learn how to handle them both and it's amazing. You will be fine. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Also wanted to give you some advice that my father-in-law gave to me. My husband and I were newly engaged and we were talking about kids, money and time. We were out on the balcony at their apartment and he looked at me and said there will never be enough money and there will never be the perfect time to have kids. I was blown away! My boys are 3 weeks from being exactly 3 years apart and it worked out nicely because my oldest is potty trained and loves to help but honestly ANY age gap will be perfect because they are your babies and you’re the best parents you can be🙂❤️ love you guys!
Having another child is always a blessing.💕I have two boys, who are now both Dads themselves. I had the fear of not having the same connection but it’s the same with both and it’s amazing how your heart grows that much more. If I won the gift card I would be spending sharing it with the boys and my Grandchildren! They are all such a blessing. Happy Holidays to your Family wishing you many blessings!
I was adopted when I was 14. It warms my heart that adoption is something you would consider. Y'all are amazing parents and people!! You could truly CHANGE someone's world and believe it or not their destiny!! Love y'all!!
I thought about life decisions and having kids a lot when I was married. My husband was slow at making decisions and I was impossibly impatient. We ended up getting divorced because I was tired of always feeling like I was orchestrating our lives, and bringing up issues we needed to decide on. I’m glad Andrew is bringing this up!!
Having siblings Is amazing. My brother and I are 16 months apart. He and our sister are 2 years a part. We just lost our father and being together and to support each other is incredible.
Your heart just makes room. I was the same way and thought the same way. I couldn’t love anymore than I already do and now I love my second child just the same. You don’t forget about your older one. ❤️
Coming from a family where I was born on my twin sisters birthday, it did not make me feel any less special to share it with them. If anything it had a similar effect to when you have a big family and spend it all together on Christmas - it’s more fun, there’s more to celebrate! You’ll love both of your kids equally enough to always make them feel loved and special 💕
I’m sure you have received this comment 1000 different ways but coming from a family with three kids under the age of two at one time (twins and a Singleton 20 months later), your heart absolutely makes room. Shawn, you will second-guess that up until the moment the new baby is born (ESPECIALLY the few days prior to the new baby coming). And then all of a sudden you’ll never know how you lived life without your new baby. The human heart is an amazing thing.
I have a teenager. You will TOTALLY miss this baby stage! It's exhausting when you're in it but you miss it as they grow up.
Also, the closeness of your children will depend on your parenting. I have a sis that is 16 months younger and another that is 6 years younger. The middle and I were close and did a lot of things together. My youngest sister and I are complete opposites and don't get along. Once we became young adults they revealed resentment towards me because out Dad was blatant with his favoritism of me. Looking back the three of us were raised in a very competitive home and everyone was competing for Dad's attention.
You guys will do great with another kid and so will Drew.
I had my first at 21, with many complications. He was born at 28 weeks due to preeclampsia. I wanted to have kids close together, that didn’t happen. I struggled for 4 years not being able to get pregnant due to the weight gain from preeclampsia. I lost 80lbs, and I got pregnant, 5 years after we had the first one. He’s currently 3 weeks old and my pregnancy with him was amazing and stress free, we made it to 39 weeks with no issues. Let it happen, life is so complicated already!
My children are 4 years apart and I am glad it came out that way. We planned on getting pregnant when our daughter turned 3 but failed and we stopped trying I gave up I blamed my C-section. I was so depressed. But then it happened a week before my birthday I got pregnant. I was so happy I started crying. It’s the best though cuz she had her own time to grow and evolve. And now with her brother around she helps me out so much. She plays with him and are best friends he loves having her around. Shawn, I had the same dilema with having another baby. I was scared I was gonna love the new baby more than my first, but it’s not what you think! You’re heart really does grow and there is no room for rejection. You love them equally! That is how it will be trust me!
My sister and I are 9,5 years apart and we both feel that the older we get the closer we get. We are doing more and more things together and are great friends!
Your heart grows for each one!! I have 5!! You will both spend equal time with each kid and they will feel so much love from both of you! One great thing about having lots of kids is they always have someone to play with. You don't have to entertain the one all the time.
All 3 of ours are 17 months apart, and Andrew is right, you are in baby mode now, and it's best to get it done and over with while you two are still young, have your youth and energy. I have no regrets. They are now, 18,17, 15 we will be empty nesters in 3 years. Best decision we ever made!!!
I was freaked out to have a 2nd child because I never thought I could love another child as much as I loved my first. I felt that until the day my 2nd was born and then it wasn’t a problem and I had 4 kids in total & love them all. Everyone told me it would be OK but until it was a reality I didn’t get it and was surprised to love them all equally. Good Luck xx Just do what suits the two of you, you will figure it the more you talk together xx My kids ages are 21, 18, 14, 11 and I loved that spacing and they are all close as in friends with each other
I have 3 sisters. One 7 years older, one 3 years younger, one six years younger. The way you space out your kids will never prevent them from fighting like cats and dogs sometimes. They always end up in different social phases, growth phases, etc. They won’t be besties from the beginning. That being said, my sisters are my best friends in the entire world now...it all comes together when you get past the teens or so. We also have birthdays super close together, and it’s not even a problem. Everyone gets their special day. I love y’all, but you might be overthinking the situation 🥰
Andrew I completely agree with what you say about the whole covid situation because I've found that this year a lot of what everybody's been asking from God in the past several years is exactly what he gave us maybe not in the form we'd want it but in reality everybody got their answer wanting to spend time with their family and getting time away from work because they don't get a vacation etc. Life is too fragile and family is the most important thing outside of our relationship with God and his son Jesus and this year has been a big reminder of that.
I'm from a family of 6 girls. no boys. we are all daddies girls. =D the fears make sense I feel like every mom has them, but they don't have to rule your decisions. you can plan for your life but then don't hold on to that too tightly. kids feel your love no matter what else is going on in life. I'm now a mom of four ( two of each) ages 8,4,2,1. so we've had the longer spacing and the back to back. there are pros and cons to each. and we are the crazies that homeschool while having to live in a two bed apartment. it gets crazy. but you love each kid in a different way. not less or more just different. so excited for you all no matter when you all decide to have another.
My daughter is having a baby girl any minute now and the due date is today and it was a surprise baby is the fifth child and she did 2 years for her each child! 🤗 I hope you have another child, soon! I love you guys! ❤️❤️❤️
Love you two!! So much fun and brings a smile to people in such a stressful time. This had been a rough year. This would definitely make 2020 end on a brighter note!!
My sisters and I are 2 years apart and we are really close. I love it. We all got married the same year and we all had our first baby the same year. We get to experience life milestones together.
Side note: I think it’s not worth trying to plan which month to get pregnant. You never know how long it will take. I have friends who conceived fine for first kid, needed medical assistance (IVF) for 2nd (due to how long it was taking), conceived fine 3rd kid. Also you put so much added pressure and stress on yourself when you try to “plan” the month and then it doesn’t happen at that time.
I had 4 kids. My first 2 are 2 years and 3 days apart, my second 2 are 18 months apart and there’s a 3 1/2 year gap between the first 2 and the second 2. I enjoyed every moment until the teenage years, those are the toughest times! So many emotions, thoughts, struggles lol. Parenting is the best, but definitely not for the weak. You guys are tough cookies and great parents, you’ll do great regardless of what you decide.
Going through grad school to become an Occupational Therapist. Literally scrounging for any money that could help me decrease my loans. This would be SOOOO helpful! Love you guys and thank you for putting a smile on my face every day.
a_lafleure
With regards to your worry about loving both kids the same amount and as much as you love Drew now, think of it this way (I have 3 boys): With your first, they will always be the one that MADE you a parent. Drew will always be your first baby. That is always going to be special. But your second will be the BABY and so there's that special connection there. Then after you have a third kid, you have the special things about each one that make them so amazing. And it isn't so much that your heart makes room, it's that there is no limit to your love for your children - it's like saying that if you pour water in one cup and then you fill another cup with water that doesn't mean there's suddenly less water in the first cup - there's just always more love to pour into your kids.
Love how real you both are. Thanks for opening up your home and sharing your family with all of us!! 💝💝
Life will balance itself regardless of the number of babies you have. You have to have faith that every baby you receive is a gift chosen just for you. Life isn’t perfect and trying to keep everything perfect for your child will eventually lead to stress and heartbreak. Go with the flow and each baby will find a place within your heart.
The realest convo. So glad I clicked on this! You both are thinking thru it all so throughly and I just love that. We have 5 kiddos all 2 years apart - but we didn’t “plan” when we would have any of them. I understand many of the emotions felt and “what ifs” - praying for God’s perfect timing 💞
My two boys are 25 months apart...2.5 year old and 7 month old and you just figure it out. You still switch on and off with your spouse. I just took both to the library by myself yesterday so my husband could focus on work. You just figure it out and it becomes the new normal:)
I am pregnant with our 7th child. I have 1 daughter and will be 6 boys in a row. Fun times. My 1st two are 14 months apart and two others are 18 months apart. Besides that they are under 2 years apart. I love how close they are. They range from ages 10 to 1. I love having a house full of children. It is not always easy at all. And the unknowns of being pregnant during a pandemic and giving birth in a hospital with new mandates and such isn't fun. But the good thing is labor doesn't last forever, and before you know it you will be home with the baby.
Watching this while sitting in the hospital brings a whole new perspective. 25 weeks pregnant and on bedrest due to having heart issues related to COVID at 6 weeks pregnant. I also work in healthcare and have to take covid testing twice weekly. It's terrifying. This is our miracle baby, that the doctors said we couldn't have...and then to add all of this on top is scary yet exhilarating
My kids are 7 years apart. Girl and boy and they get along great!!! No problems
Life plans are always great but sometimes life throws you a curve ball , we had a 15 and 17 year old and I was 38 and my husband was 53 . We were ready to settle down almost had them both in college when a surprise your pregnant. Yes she just turned 20 now but it was such a blessing because my husband was retired and did everything this time and LOVED every minute of this child. She was his world and still is daddy’s princess 👸. He has Parkinson’s now and they are very close.
As a mother of two girls (2 yrs apart) and birthdays within 10 days of each other (not planned!), it all will work out. Y’all are making me laugh bc I get Shawns concerns. I used to be there. But y’all... no matter what, your kids will feel special bc you will make them feel special on their day and everyday! Birthdays are only once a year. All good y’all... but wait until your ready!
In one week, we will have a birthday for an almost 3 year old, a first birthday, and Christmas...my kids are 2 yrs and 4 days apart and born near the biggest holiday. We just plan to make each one it’s own day and special event. But yes, it is stressful.
Morning the lose of having only one child is a thing. Many times during my second pregnancy I just cried about how I ruined my kids life and it will never be the same. But that does go away. And the new routines and schedules and activities feel like the new normally.
My husband and I have been married 9 years and haven’t tried for kids yet. I was in school and then had to get started in my career. Meanwhile his family are popping out kids right and left but I am now 32 and EVERYONE has an opinion. You do you!!!
I had two girls who are 15 and 14 and it’s the best thing I ever did they are so opposite that the just fit together and drew will adapt and will probably thank you for it when she’s older
I'm the youngest of 3 and the only girl. One brother is 5 yrs older and my other brother is 9 yrs older than me. The spacing is actually great. Being closer in age doesn't mean that they'll be close. That's also pressure you're putting on your kids.
I have 2 girls who are 27 months apart both via c-section. Your first will always hold a special place in your heart but both girls will be your girls, they will just be your for in their own special way!!!
Our family is trying to move away from gifts but rather have experiences and make memories together. This would help go towards a trip my whole family can attend.
Mine are just over 4yrs apart. We had solo time with the first for a few years before I got pregnant again. Then he was in preschool when we had the 2nd, so we had one on one time with the new baby. Nothing was planned, it was just how things happened for us. Now, they are 17 and 21 and are still great friends.
We have 6 boys 29-27-24-20-18-17 the last three were the biggest. Over 8lbs each and definitely easier than the first three. They are all so special and so individual that you won't have a problem with loving them as much or shunning older ones for the baby. Love multiplies, not divide.
I have gaps of 2yrs, 8yrs & 12yrs between me and my siblings and I love all my siblings we're all close. It's not down to the age it's down to the family dynamic, a loving environment creates loving relationships, try not to over think it.
I agree that it is a different experience for only children and multiple siblings. So different. I don’t have any ideas except to reiterate someone else’s comment about praying about it. My experience is being one in four and the extended family ... WOW ... lots of aunts and uncles and cousins. It was awesome! The future is what you make of it. Have faith and it will happen as it is supposed to. Love you three (and future four, five, six LOL).
Finally had a chance to watch this one. I think every mom goes through those feeling of worrying about the attention being taken away from the first baby. It's good that you are thinking about it now. It hit me mid pregnancy and I had so many meltdowns! But trust me it will work out!! Seeing your children interact with each other is the best thing in the world (even with all the arguing :))! We are debating a 3rd and I'm going through these same feelings again.
You are worrying about things that may not happen. Just get on with it and enjoy the life you are given. You can both cope with whatever life throws at you. Lots of love and stay healthy and safe.
My boys are 16 months apart and we’re currently ttc, it stresses me out knowing our next baby will be 2+ years younger than my 2nd. I LOVE having my boys close together and wish all my kids could be super close in age, it’s the best!
My daughter turned 1 in September and my husband and I have also been contemplating when to try for another baby. We have some of the same concerns, and along the lines of worrying that the first one won’t feel the same amount of attention as when they were the only baby, I worry about the second one not receiving the same attention that the first one did. With the first baby everything is new and you’re trying all the “things” to find what works, what makes them and you happy, and you want them to have everything they want and need. However, with the second one, I don’t want to fall into a “rhythm” and try to get them to just follow in their siblings footsteps. I feel like sometimes everyone gets so excited about the first, but then the others that follow don’t get as much hoopla and excitement. I know I will be excited no matter how many blessings we are able to have, but that’s just one of the worries that creeps into my Momma brain.
My son is deployed and I have been kind of depressed about it. I love to give to others so this would help me to give to them without the stress of not having the money.
You will absolutely love whatever children you are blessed with, girls or boys. You have such big hearts and so much love to give. You will just love Drew even more, seeing her as a big sister, watching her grow in that role. And I have no doubt that Drew, as well as your other children if you're so blessed, will always feel special and celebrated, even if she shares her birthday month. You will be perfect parents. Your children will be so loved and cherished. Blessings to all of you.
My birthday is December 20th and I have a sister who was born 2 years and 1 day later. We took turns on celebrating our birthdays and I hated it. Every child deserves to be celebrated on their own day. I agree with Shawn on that timing issue.
Totally understand feeling like there’s never a good time in terms of everything else going on in your life. We’re getting married in April and would like to start trying after that but now with a likely delayed honeymoon, 2 good friends getting married next year that haven’t set exact dates yet, combined with the time of year we’d ideally like to have the baby it doesn’t feel like a good time but these types of things will always come up so just go ahead with our plans and adjust as needed.
With my first pregnancy the last half was during the summer months and I was beyond miserable. When we were planning for our second child, I told my husband that we needed to conceive between certain months because I wanted the majority of my pregnancy to be in the winter to early spring. And that's exactly what happened, my daughter was born in April.
So, I understand what Shawn is saying
I just love you guys and am beyond thankful that you have put together such wonderful giving opportunities that will impact so many people this year! I’d use the money to go on a big shopping spree after Christmas, soaking up all the deals for me and my family!!
I love how honest and open you are to each other and us! You can tell you have made a relationship that is safe to do that. I totally get Shawn’s planning. I totally avoided certain times. I didn’t want a baby to have a birthday near Christmas. I hear so many that hate that. Love you guys!
Shawn is very talented at defusing a tense situation