We want you to know that you are NOT alone on this journey. We are here for you and are praying for you. Email us at couplethingspod@gmail.com if you are or have gone through this!
I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks, the first time I got pregnant. About 1 month later, I got pregnant again and started spotting at 5 weeks again. I remember going into the ob/gyn office and the nurse saying "well your only 5 weeks pregnant". As if I shouldn't be upset about another potential loss. Her comment upset me so much. Come to find out, my progesterone levels were very low. I had to be on a medication for 12 weeks. Regardless of where a woman is in a pregnancy, I think everyone from partners to medical staff need to understand how it hurts to your core to lose a baby. Thank You for doing these videos.
Ugh that's awful. I lost my first around 5 weeks too and I'm so thankful that my doctors and nurses all recognize that it was a baby and it was a loss. No matter when it happens, loss is loss and you are allowed to mourn in whatever way you need to.
From someone who has had 5 miscarriages, thank you for being so open and transparent about your loss. All of the feelings you both shared my husband and I went through 5 times. This has inspired me to break the silence and I hope other women who have been through this feels the same.
I seriously feel like you took the feelings right from my mind and worded them so accurately Shawn. Also, Andrew your voice helps me to understand my husband more. I love that you guys take this whole podcast on together as a couple. It is so important to get both perspectives out there and in the SAME conversation.
Agreed. I just miscarried 5 weeks ago at 5 weeks along. I remember not knowing if I “should” take time off from work to grieve. Thankfully my husband pushed me to take a few days off, but how silly that after a loss like that I wasn’t sure if it was okay to be sad and take time off to heal. Thank you for sharing, this helps my heart so much.
im a rainbow baby after 13 years of infertility and miscarriages and something me and my parents hold on to is the day we all go to heaven and when i finally get to meet my siblings. i feel like one of the things that i bond with shawn over is being an only child and never having that connection with siblings but one day i will.
I connected so much when you mentioned the part about not knowing if you’re allowed to grieve since it was early on. So many people acted like it wasn’t a big deal for me (I miscarried at 9 weeks) but it IS a big deal! People need to be more aware that women need time to grieve in their own way. You are speaking all the emotions I felt and held in during both of my miscarriages. Thank you so much for coming out with this topic!
I’ve followed you guys for a while and watched your videos on the miscarriage before, but I just experienced my own miscarriage yesterday and going back and listening to your story is seriously helping me process this whole thing so much. Thank you for being a support system for so many of us from a far!
I appreciate you guys being so open about your experience with miscarriage. It has helped me so much understanding my own emotions and healing from my miscarriage. Shawn, I relate so much to every single guilt you felt, thank you for being vocal about that. Thank you guys for being so transparent.
My husband and I have been through 3 back to back miscarriages. He took the first one really hard. I felt some resentment because I felt that some of my energy was placed towards making him feel better while I wanted him to focus on me. It was eye opening to see that men are also partners in the grieving process.
I am so thankful this video exists. I had my daughter a week before you both had Drew, and I remember watching all of your videos and realizing we had also had miscarriages at the same time. I just had another miscarriage and being able to watch this now is helping me navigate actually feeling the grief that I forgot I was allowed to feel. ❤️
I just want to say that I came across these podcasts at the perfect time. I had a miscarriage about a month ago and have continued to have health problem because they cannot find my birth control (I had the implant in the arm). Anyway love the podcast and thank you sharing your story really helped me and I’ve been nonstop watching ever since. Love you guys and how genuinely kind hearted you both are!
Thanks for sharing. The importance of honest communication is helpful for ALL marriages to survive no matter what challenges you face. Thank you for being so open. It’s helpful even though I haven’t experienced it, but if anyone I love ever experiences trauma, I would hope it would make me a more empathetic listener.
My husband told me he was so sad with our miscarriage because of how it affected me. He wasn't very emotionally affected by the miscarriage itself but by watching me struggle.
Shawn, my husband and I are currently on our baby journey and I am so thankful that you chose to share the fulfilling and the heartbreaking parts of your journey. I appreciate how open and candid you are about all things baby journey and being a mom. Your so inspiring, thank you ♥️
I needed this so much! I just experienced a miscarriage last week, still going through it at the moment. It’s been the hardest and most lonely experience of my life! Your story gives me hope.
Thank you so much for this. I miscarried at 6 weeks, and I also felt guilty for grieving a pregnancy that ended so early but I don't think it matters how far along I was. I was still allowed to grieve the loss of a future that I thought I was going to have. Thanks again!
When we had a miscarriage in September even after having 4 beautiful children it is still hard. Communicating during the grief is so extremely difficult my husband didn't know what to say or how to help me. Much love ❤
Thank you Shawn and Andrew for your openness and sincere words. Shawn I can relate so much with all the feelings and words you spoke. Unfortunately I've been done this road too many times. Thank you for making me not feel alone. Wishing, hoping and praying still for my rainbow baby. Love you guys.
I lost a baby at 9 weeks about 3 weeks ago and there are still certain things that trigger a really sharp pain when I think about it and you finally put words to it for me. I miss the excitement of being pregnant. I miss waking up everyday to check my pregnancy apps and see how much it was growing. I miss talking with my husband about how we should decorate the baby’s room. I miss imagining what it would look like and who it would grow up to be. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m sorry you went through this. However it is extremely helpful to hear how other couples have processed a tragic event like this.
Very personal, helpful. I have been grieving our older son, leaving home at 16, under arrest, years in prison, missing for 10 years at a time, then times two. The loss is very real, and no closing to it. Thank your opening up about your loss and grieving. ❤️❤️❤️
Wow. I’d never heard of the term “rainbow baby”. I guess I am one! My parents adopted my brother because they were having difficulty getting pregnant. Then they lost a baby girl at two days old. My mom was full term but had to have a c-section. She never got to see or hold my sister or attend the funeral. It may sound morbid, but we have pictures of a beautiful baby girl in her casket. I’m so grateful to have them, as she was still and IS still part of our family and our story. Thank you so much for your love and honesty. I know so many who miscarried before bearing their first child. I have no children and am 53 years old. God always knows what is the best plan for us, as he still has one for me. Please say a prayer for my family...especially my dad, as my mother’s 10th year of passing will be 9/5/20. He is 86 and misses her more everyday. Thanks again for your unselfish love for each other and for your fans. 🙏🏻💞😘
Hey all, thanks for this. I had a 7 week miscarriage a year ago. We’ve been trying ever since with no luck. Our doctor says we’re both healthy though! We’re both going to pursue natural ways to get us even healthier. I’m trying acupuncture and I just ordered prenatals from careof with your promo. Thank you!
Thank you so much for talking about this! I went through a miscarriage during quarantine, and it was a really isolating experience. After my miscarriage I struggled so much with a similar feeling of guilt. I felt guilty that I wasn’t able to help my child go through death and that I wasn’t able to protect them in Heaven and be with them. It sounds strange, but I felt so guilty that I wasn’t able to protect them and be with them. I was watching Coco one day a few months after and one line from Remember Me helped so much. It was “Know that I’m with you the only way that I can be”. It really helped me let go of that guilt and know that remembering my child was a way of being with them. I so so appreciate you and everyone in the comments sharing. It has really helped me not feel alone as I’m still working through my own feelings about things. Thank you again!!
Thank you for sharing. I’ve been through multiple miscarriages after I had my daughter. Had always wanted 2 or 3 kids. Never did happen. People would say. “ just be grateful for the one you have” as if I wasn’t. It minimized my pain as if I wasn’t allowed to hurt or be in pain after each loss. Got to the point I just quit talking about it. Very grateful for your story. Wish I could have been that strong. I still feel the “ guilt” always thinking what if I had done such in such differently.
I’ve never had a miscarriage. I had to have a hysterectomy at 30 and never had the chance to try to get pregnant. When you said “our bodies are supposed to be able to do this” that really hit home. It’s so hard to feel like your body is broken because it can’t do what it’s “supposed” to do.
This could not have been posted at a better time. Such a God thing. I miscarried on July 31 and had a D&C on August 4. I literally just walked in from my two week follow up. The emotional and physical pain is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. This helps so much seeing it from both of your perspectives. Thank you for your transparency!🤍
Y’all are so so inspiring, it’s incredible. Even though I’m a single Pringle, it’s so nice to hear how to lay a good Christian foundation for every relationship. Y’all inspire me to be a better friend, a better person, and eventually a better spouse. Thank you for everything you do!
I got chills watching this. I can relate to many, if not all, of your emotions Shawn. I and many others are inspired from your story and sharing this with the public. I also felt that "shift" you spoke about. I would also agree that, fortunately and unfortunately, couples have to go through something traumatic sometimes that will shake them to their core but will still come out stronger together. Having a supportive partner is everything when it comes to something like this. Thank you for talking about this and how it affected your relationship.
Thanks for addressing this conversation as I had a miscarriage and we never addressed it like you both did but you clarified a lot of things for us, You both are such an inspiration to others and I am so happy and grateful you do videos on TH-cam. God Bless your family as it continues to grow and it's so sincere to see two people in love and communicate as well as you both do.
Thank you for sharing. I had two miscarriages and both were early on and I am still questioning whether or not my grief is justified or not. But that grief is there and it's real to me. I think we worry too much what others think. If the feeling is real to you, then it is justified. I am realizing that now. I do not have children yet but I know in my heart that I was a Mom, even for those 5-6 weeks. I really appreciate you for sharing this because when you do talk to someone about it, they never know what to say so it feels very weird. That weirdness just makes you feel like you have to hold it all in. So to hear someone else talk about their experience makes you feel connected to the emotions that you were and are feeling.
The words you shared from the homeless man gave me goosebumps. So powerful & so true. Glad you had a happy ending with Drewber. 😍 She's absolutely beautiful. As someone who struggles with infertility I truly appreciate you both for sharing your story, it's inspiring & gives me hope to not give up.
I enjoyed this episode, thank you. I, too, miscarried really early and felt like it wasn’t a true loss. Yet, it is very much is. I still have moments where I feel the grief and it’s been 2 and half years. I don’t think you ever forget or be “ok”. I have just learned to just trust God and his plan, because He specifically made it for me.
That whole everything hurt feeling was so true for me. I felt like my soul was being dragged behind me and I just didn’t want to feel anything cause I was feeling everything. My pregnancy was further along so they called mine a still birth and planning my first funeral and while trying to deal with what happened was the worst. The worst part for me was that people kept telling me it’s ok you’ll have another one hurt me more cause I was like yeah I can but it still won’t be this one and it won’t erase what happened. Also when I did get pregnant again the fear of what happened kept me from really enjoying my pregnancy. I didn’t want to get too attached cause what if I lost it again and I really regret that.
Couple Things with Shawn Johnson and Andrew East honestly didn’t think you would read this and thanks cause it’s nice to know people care. I just think it’s really important for other women out there to know that this isn’t their fault first of all and just not to be ashamed of it no matter how far along you were a loss is a loss let yourself moron the loss for as long as you need to and get help if you need it. Love you guys ❤️ god bless you beautiful family.
Yes, absolutely, I remember after my second miscarriage, which was so absolutely traumatic, I got pregnant again and was so completely terrified of going through that dark hole of loss again that I didn't bond with my unborn child. The inability to allow myself to bond with him during pregnancy made it impossible to bond after birth as well - I had severe postpartum depression and after intense journaling sessions I finally was able to bond with him when he was 6 months old. He is about to turn 5 years old now and I am working with my therapist to deal with PTSD from miscarrying and the following pregnancy and the labor/birth that was 10X more traumatic from fear. But I got through and am healing - it takes time and effort but you can get through and heal as well. You're definitely not alone.
Wow this is so relatable and real! I experienced miscarriage that same time frame, December 2017. I think that was the loneliest I have ever felt. It was also my first baby, and was an early loss. Thank you for sharing your experience and speaking on this!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am just relistening to your podcasts and I feel it with every inch of my being. I have lost seven babies and have yet to have a child of our own. We made it to 12 weeks with our little girl, Emma before losing her and that was the farthest we have gotten. It has been an up-hill battle full of emotion for my husband and I. He has been amazing during all of it. However, I have felt different emotions with each loss. I felt everything that Shawn said within your story. My husband and Andrew seem to have felt the same. I just want to say from one angel parent to another...Thank you for helping lift others up. I blog about our journey, and I journal and nothing helps me more than that. I have helped many moms through my blog and I feel like every loss I have, has a different story and each story relates to another family out there somewhere.
I also had a miscarriage around the same time as you. 12 was 12 weeks along and i was told at the first ultrasound sound there was no heartbeat. It was another week after that before my body went through the miscarriage. It was Oct 1st 2017. That week of waiting was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. Hardly anyone knew I was pregnant so i had little support. I think it is great that you are so open and honest about your experience. It is sooo difficult and my own husband didn't feel the pain i felt. Today I have an almost 9 month old. 1 month to the day younger than your little Drew. All the love two you both❤
I’m glad more people are talking about miscarriages cause unfortunately they are common. Also I would love if if you guys interviewed mark ballas and by Jean! That would be so much fun!
I’ve had multiple people tell me my grief didn’t count because I lost my child at 5 weeks. It is part of the reason why I stayed quiet for so long. But our grief, our pain, our confusion, matters. No matter when you lose a child, no matter how old they are, you still lost them. And your feelings matter ❤️ I had an intuition that my child was a girl. I named her. It’s. It for everyone, but sometimes doing this helps with closure.
AWESOME podcast! I cried! I never had a miscarriage but my daughter was born with birth defects. She had two reconstructive hand surgeries and open heart surgery! So we stopped at one! That girl (woman) is now 27!!
I am the oldest of ten children. My mom took childbearing to a new level. I did not. I had 24bhrs of labor and a miscarriage. Then my first rainbow baby was still born at 37 weeks. Fortunately my subsequent pregnancy went well. And my next went pretty well too but unfortunately I hsd an emergency c-section. Miscarriage and stillbirths are the hardest things a woman (and her spouse) can endure. You feel like your baby and all the hopes snd dreams you had with it are ripped from you. Grief is deserved and you are entitled to it. But know that in most cases there is hope for that rainbow baby. And as you know there is nothing that help infant loss grief better than a newborn or 2 or more. Thank you you know that first hand. God bless you and your rainbow babies.
My daughter found out she was pregnant and that it was an ectopic pregnancy which had ruptured all in one day. She had been having sickness and pain for a few weeks before hand and she said she knew when her tube ruptured that something had happened even though she didn't know she had been pregnant. Afterward she realistically thought she would have a difficult time getting pregnant. But hearing you talk about your rainbow baby brings back memories for me. Because 3 months later she and her husband found out they were pregnant with twins! They had two baby girls at 37 weeks, over 16 years ago! They went on to have two more successful pregnancies (both boys), over the years. She still remembers the pain of losing a baby all those years ago (as well as the scary life threatening situation she went through). I'm happy the two of you got your rainbow baby as well.
Love hearing your story and journey! Emotionally and hormonally one of the hardest things to get through. I had 2 miscarriages. And have 2 rainbow babies!! Blessings to you. Your daughter is amazing. Have more babies!! Parenthood suits you two!
cant tell you how much you guys mean to mean. how much i learn. how much i respect. how much i laugh. im a 60+ single guy from Indy. let me know when youre in Westfield. LOVE YOU GUYS
YES, YES, YES! Yall have articulated all the emotions so well. I've have a miscarriage and a tubal miscarriage. My tubal miscarriage was the worst on our marriage. We went through a period of time where we didn't even know each other.... Almost divorced... And God has worked in our marriage and restored it all to the point where we are closer in our relationship than we have ever been!!! Going on 21 years of marriage. Shawn... Everything you are saying about your feelings is exactly how I felt. I was so mad at my husband, Brad, because he wasn't as hurt or upset and it made me feel crazy that it was affecting me so different than it affected him. But later we talked and he told me that after our tubal miscarriage, he hid his emotions because I was so hurt. He wanted to "fix" it so bad that he didn't let me inside to know what he was feeling. Later we discussed how I had wished he would have just cried with me, or just shown me that he was feeling "something". I was angry because I thought... It was his baby too, why isn't he upset? I think guys want to mask their emotions so they can comfort their wives. And you are right.... I think nothing can make us grieve less. And I think that when a couple goes through something that hard, it strengthens the marriage. We didn't have a rainbow baby, unless you count our little girl we adopted, but I can honestly say, without a Doubt, that the 7 years of infertility and the 3 years of adoption made our marriage what it is today. Not only is our marriage stronger... But we are stronger individually than what we were before those 10 years... AWESOME VIDEO!!! So glad you are sharing your story! Other couples need to see that they are not ALONE ❤️❤️❤️
I became pregnant with my second child while I was raising her alone, my boyfriend living an hour away and working the night shift. We made plans for me to move in with him in the town he was in. I could tell I was pregnant and my doctor said it was too early to tell but I knew the feeling having been pregnant before. I miscarried at 12 weeks and my boyfriend could not be with me until we moved 2 weeks later. My sister took me to the hospital. It was upsetting to learn that the fetus was only 6 weeks along... I had carried a dead baby (for want of a better saying) inside me for 6 weeks. I basically suffered the miscarriage alone. But I knew it was a common thing as all my sisters and sisters-in-laws had all had one miscarriage, and my mother had 3. I wasn't worried about getting pregnant again but I did shed a tear at losing my baby. My boyfriend never really grieved with me. I became pregnant 4 months later. When the due date of the baby I lost came around I was grateful I was pregnant because I probably would have been really depressed. I gave birth to my Rainbow Baby 24 years ago this month. I am not the proud parent of two beautiful daughters (27 and 24). I don't regret what I went through, as painful as it was. I had been through worse things in my life and I came out of it stronger. Thank you for sharing your story with everyone. I am sure you have helped a lot of people.
I definitely struggled with the thought that because I had one miscarriage that I would miscarry every time I got pregnant now I have a beautiful rainbow baby. He is exactly a month younger than Drew
Oh my gosh everything you said is exactly how I’m feeling. I found out after our miscarriage and 2 years of trying that I have low ovarian reserve at age 33. Now we will need to do infertility treatment. Which I’m terrified for. I feel less of a women and it’s so hard. I’m glad I’m not alone in feeling all the feels.
My heart and body always knew I was pregnant before it ever showed up on a test. You just feel like there is something different inside your body. And after a miscarriage of course you want to try again immediately because it's not just the loss of a child its also the loss of a dream, of the idea of what your future was going to be because the second the news settles in your brain we start imagining what our future is going to look like and who that child is going to be. And miscarriage is just so sudden. But rainbow babies definitely help make the hole in your heart easier to live with ❤
Loved y'all sharing y'alls hearts about y'alls micarrage. There are just so many people male and female who could learn so much from your stories. I myself actually had a baby girl (Gabrielle) who would have been 25 years old May 8th, and Shawn is 100% correct in saying that you loose a piece of your heart after a loss of a child. There is nothing that anyone can say or do to make you feel better when going through the situation only in time does the pain lessen, but even after 25 yrs the pain is not fully gone. BUT GOD!! Continue to keep doing what y'all are doing, and remember to always keep God the center of your marriage.
🕊✨ Wow. The individual that you encountered at the Santa Monica boardwalk was just a beautiful and delicate way that The Lord used him as a vessel to speak to the two in the moment when you needed it the most!
I love you guys so much! Shawn, you probably don't remember this but I actually met you at a gymnastics event in Hartford, CT about 4 years ago! I love all of your videos and I can't wait for tomorrow's!
My husband and I are TTC, early on I had the worst cramps 3 months after trying. I have never felt the pain like these cramps before. I don't know what a miscarriage feels like and I sometimes wonder if I experienced it that day. Thank you for sharing your story!
Six years ago, I had a miscarriage at 9.5 weeks, right before we were about to tell everyone. Fifteen months later our beautiful son was born. His birth really healed us. It isn’t that we’ve forgotten about our first baby, but we now understand that nature happens, our first baby was simply not meant to be, and the path we went down led us to our son. My only advice is: don’t let the grief eat away at you.
I feel everything that you are saying. I found out I was pregnant very early on and everyone assumed I was having twins because twins run in my husband’s family. Everyone was anticipating my first appointment and was expecting me to say that I was having twins. Well, I was pregnant with twins. However, baby B had no heartbeat. It was shocking and something I never expected. I remember a friend had made the comment, “well at least you still have another.” Having to tell people made me feel guilty for not being happy about baby A. So many people in my husband’s family tried to convince us that the technician had made a mistake and magically, there would be another heartbeat at my 12 week appointment so I felt like I had to break the news again. It was probably the worst time in my life and I have guilt about not being able to bond to my pregnancy for a long time. I felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. My baby girl is now 10 months old, but I still think about her brother or sister every day.
Shawn, I have always looked up to you since 2008 when you were at the Olympics. To be able to know someone I admire has had a similar experience as me makes me feel less alone, even if for a second. Literally just had my first pregnancy end in miscarriage in March of this year and I’m so heartbroken. It’s hard missing someone you never got to meet and longing for the experience of being a mother after losing your baby. I was so excited and to have it just ripped away from me shortly after is devastating. I’m worried about having another baby, with timing and doing it when God wants me to but I’m also afraid of losing another baby. Please pray for me 😞.
With my 1st miscarriage, I was curled in a ball on the couch in the fetal position crying my eyes out, in such physical & emotional pain. We'd tried for yrs to conceive. My husband sat across the room, ignored me, wouldn't hug me, talk to me or even look at me. He didn't know how to handle the disappointment & loss he was feeling, or how to console me. That made me feel like a failure, & even more lost & alone. The 2nd miscarriage happened literally a week after we found out & we hadn't even got our hopes up, pretty much refused to believe that it'd be a viable pregnancy. The 3rd miscarriage was the worst, but it brought our relationship to another level. It happened in the hospital when I was 10 1/2 weeks & we were thinking we were almost in the clear of miscarrying. The doctor had me stand up & my husband watched as blood POURED out of me all over the floor in the hospital room. His face turned white. He was worried he was going to lose me, as well as the baby. He held my hand through the whole thing that time. When we got home, we held each other & cried together. I finally didn't feel so alone, & I saw how much he was hurting too. We've been together now 17yrs, & expecting our 3rd child next month. God has truly blessed us!
That was my biggest thing is walking around normal. I have 2 kids and love them so much. To hear them ask for a sibling and not tell them anything its like a huge secret I feel like im holding from them. The emotions are crazy after a miscarriage and I feel like you grieve forever of the what ifs of that baby would have been in your life
I’m having a d&c tomorrow. My first ultrasound (6weeks, 6days) the gestational sac was empty...following ultrasound (8weeks, 4days) it remained empty. I have what’s called an Anembryonic pregnancy (blighted ovum), the fertilized egg attaches to the uterus but an embryo doesn’t develop.
Joan - you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so so so sorry you are having to experience this pain. I miscarried July 31 and had a D&C on August 4. I actually just walked in the door from my two week follow up. You are not alone and I’m praying over you and your doctors tomorrow.
Holly Hermanson I chose a d&c because I had already waited for 2 weeks to get the confirmation, I didn’t want to wait any longer. I do have a healthy and happy 1 year old son named Maverick. After this recent pregnancy we decided we’re not going to try again. I also have a 10 year old stepdaughter.
Not to take away from the story, because I absolutely watched all the vlogs that y’all released about the miscarriage from giving Andrew the shoes to the first vlog back and on, but I am completely obsessed with that mercury glass lamp over Andrew’s left shoulder. I feel like there is likely another one over Shawn’s right shoulder, but we don’t get that shot of her. Totally obsessed!
My dr wasn't good with mine. She made it so traumatic. I hadn't known before it that I was pregnant because my cycles were so off. We had been trying for a while at that point and I had quit testing for a 2 month period because it hurt so bad to see a negative test every month. So I went into the doctor on july 24th 2012. My doctor said I was having a miscarriage and it was a blessing because people my age then are terrible parents and I should thank God it died. She was smiling and laughing about it like it wasn't a big deal. My SO at the time acted about the same. The only person who treated it how I did was my mom. I never did have kids after that but every year my mom gets me stuff for mothers day, which hurts but was also a big part of me healing, by acknowledging and supporting me.
I noticed you had an episode last week and it showed up on TH-cam and then all of a sudden it was gone, i can not find the episode on TH-cam anymore. 🤷♀️🙁
I'm only half way through but I need to comment! First, much love to you both and I'm sorry for your loss...this is such a difficult thing to go through. I want to validate, from my experience, two things Shawn mentioned, and both times said does that make sense? And Andrew didn't seem to really undsrstand, so I think it may make more sense to a woman who has felt it. I miscarried my first pregnancy at 6 weeks, had 5 healthy uncomplicated pregnancies with beautiful full term babies, and then miscarried again at 9 weeks. Both times I felt exactly what you described as a sense of not having "earned" the right to grieve since I was not very far along in the pregnancies, and a reluctance to talk about it to other people because they might think it wasn't that big of a deal at that stage. Also, especially with the 9 week miscarriage, I felt very strongly that terrible emptiness and the desire to fill it so I wouldn't have to feel un-pregnant. One other point: you said there is no post-partum period for women after a miscarriage. That's true from a societal standpoint, but our bodies certainly go through a form of post-partum recovery. I even noticed losing my hair after miscarriage, like after my full term births. I think it's important to honor and respect that recovery process and give ourselves time to heal, physically and emotionally. Thank you for sharing this conversation. Andrew's perspective is important too, as I know my husband also had the feeling of being more removed from the pregnancies that I miscarried and didn't feel the same things I felt. The happy ending here is that I did conceive again and after being scared through the first 9 weeks I did carry my son to full term, and I'm so happy and grateful to have this one in my arms! ❤
Looking back, do you feel that homeless man was actually an angel sent to help you? I've had a few such "stranger" visitations at pivotal moments that I feel was God blessing me with help or guidance.
Its hard to write this but i recently told my boyfriend about the miscarriage i had, he was fully supportive and absolutely wonderful. Though i feel he is holding back from me since i told him about it, now the question is how would i approach a conversation on this hard subject without pushing him away? From a guys prospective do i need to give him more time or he will bring it up when he is ready to come to terms with everything? I'm at a loss, It's heartbreaking because i notice so many changes happening and don't know how to go with the new ways everything is now! please help!
We lost 3 babies. We also have 5 living children, including twins. The first loss was our 2nd son, and we were 7 months along. I went into labor early and we found out he was already gone. I still had to have a full labor and delivery, then hemorrhaged, rushed into lifesaving surgery. Being that far along was hell. When we came home, my husband was hiding all we had bought for the baby so I didn't have to see it. I was pregnant with our daughter 3 months later. Our 2nd loss was our 6th pregnancy. and was a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, where I was rushed into another lifesaving surgery, and I lost a Fallopian tube. My last loss was a first trimester miscarriage and a month later my husband died suddenly. I woke on Valentine's Day and found him, left with PTSD and our 5 children to raise alone.
I have the hope, in Christ, that I will someday see all three of the babies I miscarried. It has been 35, 34, and 31 years since it happened, and I still think of what could have been. Luckily, God gave me one baby, who is now 33 years old.
We want you to know that you are NOT alone on this journey. We are here for you and are praying for you. Email us at couplethingspod@gmail.com if you are or have gone through this!
I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks, the first time I got pregnant. About 1 month later, I got pregnant again and started spotting at 5 weeks again. I remember going into the ob/gyn office and the nurse saying "well your only 5 weeks pregnant". As if I shouldn't be upset about another potential loss. Her comment upset me so much. Come to find out, my progesterone levels were very low. I had to be on a medication for 12 weeks. Regardless of where a woman is in a pregnancy, I think everyone from partners to medical staff need to understand how it hurts to your core to lose a baby. Thank You for doing these videos.
Seriously..?how rude!
Ugh that's awful. I lost my first around 5 weeks too and I'm so thankful that my doctors and nurses all recognize that it was a baby and it was a loss. No matter when it happens, loss is loss and you are allowed to mourn in whatever way you need to.
From someone who has had 5 miscarriages, thank you for being so open and transparent about your loss. All of the feelings you both shared my husband and I went through 5 times. This has inspired me to break the silence and I hope other women who have been through this feels the same.
I seriously feel like you took the feelings right from my mind and worded them so accurately Shawn. Also, Andrew your voice helps me to understand my husband more. I love that you guys take this whole podcast on together as a couple. It is so important to get both perspectives out there and in the SAME conversation.
This helped me soooo much as well to see my husbands perspective more easily
Agreed. I just miscarried 5 weeks ago at 5 weeks along. I remember not knowing if I “should” take time off from work to grieve. Thankfully my husband pushed me to take a few days off, but how silly that after a loss like that I wasn’t sure if it was okay to be sad and take time off to heal. Thank you for sharing, this helps my heart so much.
im a rainbow baby after 13 years of infertility and miscarriages and something me and my parents hold on to is the day we all go to heaven and when i finally get to meet my siblings. i feel like one of the things that i bond with shawn over is being an only child and never having that connection with siblings but one day i will.
I connected so much when you mentioned the part about not knowing if you’re allowed to grieve since it was early on. So many people acted like it wasn’t a big deal for me (I miscarried at 9 weeks) but it IS a big deal! People need to be more aware that women need time to grieve in their own way. You are speaking all the emotions I felt and held in during both of my miscarriages. Thank you so much for coming out with this topic!
You have no idea how much healing and encouragement your words are giving me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
that is a beautiful thing!
I’ve followed you guys for a while and watched your videos on the miscarriage before, but I just experienced my own miscarriage yesterday and going back and listening to your story is seriously helping me process this whole thing so much. Thank you for being a support system for so many of us from a far!
I appreciate you guys being so open about your experience with miscarriage. It has helped me so much understanding my own emotions and healing from my miscarriage. Shawn, I relate so much to every single guilt you felt, thank you for being vocal about that. Thank you guys for being so transparent.
My husband and I have been through 3 back to back miscarriages. He took the first one really hard. I felt some resentment because I felt that some of my energy was placed towards making him feel better while I wanted him to focus on me. It was eye opening to see that men are also partners in the grieving process.
I am so thankful this video exists. I had my daughter a week before you both had Drew, and I remember watching all of your videos and realizing we had also had miscarriages at the same time. I just had another miscarriage and being able to watch this now is helping me navigate actually feeling the grief that I forgot I was allowed to feel. ❤️
I just want to say that I came across these podcasts at the perfect time. I had a miscarriage about a month ago and have continued to have health problem because they cannot find my birth control (I had the implant in the arm). Anyway love the podcast and thank you sharing your story really helped me and I’ve been nonstop watching ever since. Love you guys and how genuinely kind hearted you both are!
So glad Ang that you found us!
Thank you for sharing your story so openly - So interesting to hear Andrew's perspective as well.
I really love how transparent y'all are.
Thanks for sharing. The importance of honest communication is helpful for ALL marriages to survive no matter what challenges you face. Thank you for being so open. It’s helpful even though I haven’t experienced it, but if anyone I love ever experiences trauma, I would hope it would make me a more empathetic listener.
Cool you two are shining a light on this topic -- and great that you open up your lives to us -- thanks and God bless.
My husband told me he was so sad with our miscarriage because of how it affected me. He wasn't very emotionally affected by the miscarriage itself but by watching me struggle.
Shawn, my husband and I are currently on our baby journey and I am so thankful that you chose to share the fulfilling and the heartbreaking parts of your journey. I appreciate how open and candid you are about all things baby journey and being a mom. Your so inspiring, thank you ♥️
I needed this so much! I just experienced a miscarriage last week, still going through it at the moment. It’s been the hardest and most lonely experience of my life! Your story gives me hope.
Thank you so much for this. I miscarried at 6 weeks, and I also felt guilty for grieving a pregnancy that ended so early but I don't think it matters how far along I was. I was still allowed to grieve the loss of a future that I thought I was going to have. Thanks again!
When we had a miscarriage in September even after having 4 beautiful children it is still hard. Communicating during the grief is so extremely difficult my husband didn't know what to say or how to help me. Much love ❤
We didn’t grieve our miscarriage when it happened and 5 yrs later I became depressed from a lot of things. So grieve and talk about a lot.
Thank you Shawn and Andrew for your openness and sincere words. Shawn I can relate so much with all the feelings and words you spoke. Unfortunately I've been done this road too many times. Thank you for making me not feel alone. Wishing, hoping and praying still for my rainbow baby. Love you guys.
I lost a baby at 9 weeks about 3 weeks ago and there are still certain things that trigger a really sharp pain when I think about it and you finally put words to it for me. I miss the excitement of being pregnant. I miss waking up everyday to check my pregnancy apps and see how much it was growing. I miss talking with my husband about how we should decorate the baby’s room. I miss imagining what it would look like and who it would grow up to be.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m sorry you went through this. However it is extremely helpful to hear how other couples have processed a tragic event like this.
Very personal, helpful. I have been grieving our older son, leaving home at 16, under arrest, years in prison, missing for 10 years at a time, then times two. The loss is very real, and no closing to it. Thank your opening up about your loss and grieving. ❤️❤️❤️
Wow. I’d never heard of the term “rainbow baby”. I guess I am one! My parents adopted my brother because they were having difficulty getting pregnant. Then they lost a baby girl at two days old. My mom was full term but had to have a c-section. She never got to see or hold my sister or attend the funeral. It may sound morbid, but we have pictures of a beautiful baby girl in her casket. I’m so grateful to have them, as she was still and IS still part of our family and our story. Thank you so much for your love and honesty. I know so many who miscarried before bearing their first child. I have no children and am 53 years old. God always knows what is the best plan for us, as he still has one for me. Please say a prayer for my family...especially my dad, as my mother’s 10th year of passing will be 9/5/20. He is 86 and misses her more everyday. Thanks again for your unselfish love for each other and for your fans. 🙏🏻💞😘
Hey all, thanks for this. I had a 7 week miscarriage a year ago. We’ve been trying ever since with no luck. Our doctor says we’re both healthy though! We’re both going to pursue natural ways to get us even healthier. I’m trying acupuncture and I just ordered prenatals from careof with your promo. Thank you!
We are praying for you!
I needed this so much. I’m still wading through the aftermath of my miscarriage and everything Shawn said about blaming herself hit so close to home.
Thank you so much for talking about this! I went through a miscarriage during quarantine, and it was a really isolating experience. After my miscarriage I struggled so much with a similar feeling of guilt. I felt guilty that I wasn’t able to help my child go through death and that I wasn’t able to protect them in Heaven and be with them. It sounds strange, but I felt so guilty that I wasn’t able to protect them and be with them. I was watching Coco one day a few months after and one line from Remember Me helped so much. It was “Know that I’m with you the only way that I can be”. It really helped me let go of that guilt and know that remembering my child was a way of being with them. I so so appreciate you and everyone in the comments sharing. It has really helped me not feel alone as I’m still working through my own feelings about things. Thank you again!!
Thank you for sharing. I’ve been through multiple miscarriages after I had my daughter. Had always wanted 2 or 3 kids. Never did happen. People would say. “ just be grateful for the one you have” as if I wasn’t. It minimized my pain as if I wasn’t allowed to hurt or be in pain after each loss. Got to the point I just quit talking about it. Very grateful for your story. Wish I could have been that strong. I still feel the “ guilt” always thinking what if I had done such in such differently.
I’ve never had a miscarriage. I had to have a hysterectomy at 30 and never had the chance to try to get pregnant. When you said “our bodies are supposed to be able to do this” that really hit home. It’s so hard to feel like your body is broken because it can’t do what it’s “supposed” to do.
This could not have been posted at a better time. Such a God thing. I miscarried on July 31 and had a D&C on August 4. I literally just walked in from my two week follow up. The emotional and physical pain is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. This helps so much seeing it from both of your perspectives. Thank you for your transparency!🤍
So sorry for your loss!
Y’all are so so inspiring, it’s incredible. Even though I’m a single Pringle, it’s so nice to hear how to lay a good Christian foundation for every relationship. Y’all inspire me to be a better friend, a better person, and eventually a better spouse. Thank you for everything you do!
I got chills watching this. I can relate to many, if not all, of your emotions Shawn. I and many others are inspired from your story and sharing this with the public. I also felt that "shift" you spoke about. I would also agree that, fortunately and unfortunately, couples have to go through something traumatic sometimes that will shake them to their core but will still come out stronger together. Having a supportive partner is everything when it comes to something like this. Thank you for talking about this and how it affected your relationship.
Thanks for addressing this conversation as I had a miscarriage and we never addressed it like you both did but you clarified a lot of things for us, You both are such an inspiration to others and I am so happy and grateful you do videos on TH-cam. God Bless your family as it continues to grow and it's so sincere to see two people in love and communicate as well as you both do.
Thank you for sharing. I had two miscarriages and both were early on and I am still questioning whether or not my grief is justified or not. But that grief is there and it's real to me. I think we worry too much what others think. If the feeling is real to you, then it is justified. I am realizing that now. I do not have children yet but I know in my heart that I was a Mom, even for those 5-6 weeks. I really appreciate you for sharing this because when you do talk to someone about it, they never know what to say so it feels very weird. That weirdness just makes you feel like you have to hold it all in. So to hear someone else talk about their experience makes you feel connected to the emotions that you were and are feeling.
Well said. Really enjoy listening to your stories and feelings and thoughts.
The words you shared from the homeless man gave me goosebumps. So powerful & so true. Glad you had a happy ending with Drewber. 😍 She's absolutely beautiful. As someone who struggles with infertility I truly appreciate you both for sharing your story, it's inspiring & gives me hope to not give up.
I enjoyed this episode, thank you. I, too, miscarried really early and felt like it wasn’t a true loss. Yet, it is very much is. I still have moments where I feel the grief and it’s been 2 and half years. I don’t think you ever forget or be “ok”. I have just learned to just trust God and his plan, because He specifically made it for me.
That whole everything hurt feeling was so true for me. I felt like my soul was being dragged behind me and I just didn’t want to feel anything cause I was feeling everything. My pregnancy was further along so they called mine a still birth and planning my first funeral and while trying to deal with what happened was the worst. The worst part for me was that people kept telling me it’s ok you’ll have another one hurt me more cause I was like yeah I can but it still won’t be this one and it won’t erase what happened. Also when I did get pregnant again the fear of what happened kept me from really enjoying my pregnancy. I didn’t want to get too attached cause what if I lost it again and I really regret that.
We’re so sorry you went through this.
Couple Things with Shawn Johnson and Andrew East honestly didn’t think you would read this and thanks cause it’s nice to know people care. I just think it’s really important for other women out there to know that this isn’t their fault first of all and just not to be ashamed of it no matter how far along you were a loss is a loss let yourself moron the loss for as long as you need to and get help if you need it. Love you guys ❤️ god bless you beautiful family.
Yes, absolutely, I remember after my second miscarriage, which was so absolutely traumatic, I got pregnant again and was so completely terrified of going through that dark hole of loss again that I didn't bond with my unborn child. The inability to allow myself to bond with him during pregnancy made it impossible to bond after birth as well - I had severe postpartum depression and after intense journaling sessions I finally was able to bond with him when he was 6 months old. He is about to turn 5 years old now and I am working with my therapist to deal with PTSD from miscarrying and the following pregnancy and the labor/birth that was 10X more traumatic from fear.
But I got through and am healing - it takes time and effort but you can get through and heal as well. You're definitely not alone.
Wow this is so relatable and real! I experienced miscarriage that same time frame, December 2017. I think that was the loneliest I have ever felt. It was also my first baby, and was an early loss. Thank you for sharing your experience and speaking on this!
Thank you both for your public faith and the daily struggles. I appreciate you’ll. 👍👍
ooof. yes. that feeling of the instant you knowing when you aren't pregnant anymore is wild.
This is so helpful for me right now - I didn’t know how to navigate. Thank you
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am just relistening to your podcasts and I feel it with every inch of my being. I have lost seven babies and have yet to have a child of our own. We made it to 12 weeks with our little girl, Emma before losing her and that was the farthest we have gotten. It has been an up-hill battle full of emotion for my husband and I. He has been amazing during all of it. However, I have felt different emotions with each loss. I felt everything that Shawn said within your story. My husband and Andrew seem to have felt the same. I just want to say from one angel parent to another...Thank you for helping lift others up. I blog about our journey, and I journal and nothing helps me more than that. I have helped many moms through my blog and I feel like every loss I have, has a different story and each story relates to another family out there somewhere.
I love you guys so much and love how open and honest you both are
I also had a miscarriage around the same time as you. 12 was 12 weeks along and i was told at the first ultrasound sound there was no heartbeat. It was another week after that before my body went through the miscarriage. It was Oct 1st 2017. That week of waiting was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. Hardly anyone knew I was pregnant so i had little support. I think it is great that you are so open and honest about your experience. It is sooo difficult and my own husband didn't feel the pain i felt. Today I have an almost 9 month old. 1 month to the day younger than your little Drew. All the love two you both❤
I’m glad more people are talking about miscarriages cause unfortunately they are common. Also I would love if if you guys interviewed mark ballas and by Jean! That would be so much fun!
I’ve had multiple people tell me my grief didn’t count because I lost my child at 5 weeks. It is part of the reason why I stayed quiet for so long. But our grief, our pain, our confusion, matters. No matter when you lose a child, no matter how old they are, you still lost them. And your feelings matter ❤️ I had an intuition that my child was a girl. I named her. It’s. It for everyone, but sometimes doing this helps with closure.
I can relate so much to this and it’s been 20 years. Hugs to you ❤️
AWESOME podcast! I cried! I never had a miscarriage but my daughter was born with birth defects. She had two reconstructive hand surgeries and open heart surgery! So we stopped at one! That girl (woman) is now 27!!
Thank you for being so open and sharing your journey. Btw i love the flowers on the table 💛
I am the oldest of ten children. My mom took childbearing to a new level. I did not. I had 24bhrs of labor and a miscarriage. Then my first rainbow baby was still born at 37 weeks. Fortunately my subsequent pregnancy went well. And my next went pretty well too but unfortunately I hsd an emergency c-section. Miscarriage and stillbirths are the hardest things a woman (and her spouse) can endure. You feel like your baby and all the hopes snd dreams you had with it are ripped from you. Grief is deserved and you are entitled to it. But know that in most cases there is hope for that rainbow baby. And as you know there is nothing that help infant loss grief better than a newborn or 2 or more. Thank you you know that first hand. God bless you and your rainbow babies.
My daughter found out she was pregnant and that it was an ectopic pregnancy which had ruptured all in one day. She had been having sickness and pain for a few weeks before hand and she said she knew when her tube ruptured that something had happened even though she didn't know she had been pregnant. Afterward she realistically thought she would have a difficult time getting pregnant. But hearing you talk about your rainbow baby brings back memories for me. Because 3 months later she and her husband found out they were pregnant with twins! They had two baby girls at 37 weeks, over 16 years ago! They went on to have two more successful pregnancies (both boys), over the years. She still remembers the pain of losing a baby all those years ago (as well as the scary life threatening situation she went through). I'm happy the two of you got your rainbow baby as well.
Love hearing your story and journey! Emotionally and hormonally one of the hardest things to get through. I had 2 miscarriages. And have 2 rainbow babies!! Blessings to you. Your daughter is amazing. Have more babies!! Parenthood suits you two!
cant tell you how much you guys mean to mean. how much i learn. how much i respect. how much i laugh. im a 60+ single guy from Indy. let me know when youre in Westfield. LOVE YOU GUYS
YES, YES, YES! Yall have articulated all the emotions so well. I've have a miscarriage and a tubal miscarriage. My tubal miscarriage was the worst on our marriage. We went through a period of time where we didn't even know each other.... Almost divorced... And God has worked in our marriage and restored it all to the point where we are closer in our relationship than we have ever been!!! Going on 21 years of marriage. Shawn... Everything you are saying about your feelings is exactly how I felt. I was so mad at my husband, Brad, because he wasn't as hurt or upset and it made me feel crazy that it was affecting me so different than it affected him. But later we talked and he told me that after our tubal miscarriage, he hid his emotions because I was so hurt. He wanted to "fix" it so bad that he didn't let me inside to know what he was feeling. Later we discussed how I had wished he would have just cried with me, or just shown me that he was feeling "something". I was angry because I thought... It was his baby too, why isn't he upset? I think guys want to mask their emotions so they can comfort their wives. And you are right.... I think nothing can make us grieve less. And I think that when a couple goes through something that hard, it strengthens the marriage. We didn't have a rainbow baby, unless you count our little girl we adopted, but I can honestly say, without a Doubt, that the 7 years of infertility and the 3 years of adoption made our marriage what it is today. Not only is our marriage stronger... But we are stronger individually than what we were before those 10 years...
AWESOME VIDEO!!! So glad you are sharing your story! Other couples need to see that they are not ALONE ❤️❤️❤️
I became pregnant with my second child while I was raising her alone, my boyfriend living an hour away and working the night shift. We made plans for me to move in with him in the town he was in. I could tell I was pregnant and my doctor said it was too early to tell but I knew the feeling having been pregnant before. I miscarried at 12 weeks and my boyfriend could not be with me until we moved 2 weeks later. My sister took me to the hospital. It was upsetting to learn that the fetus was only 6 weeks along... I had carried a dead baby (for want of a better saying) inside me for 6 weeks. I basically suffered the miscarriage alone. But I knew it was a common thing as all my sisters and sisters-in-laws had all had one miscarriage, and my mother had 3. I wasn't worried about getting pregnant again but I did shed a tear at losing my baby. My boyfriend never really grieved with me. I became pregnant 4 months later. When the due date of the baby I lost came around I was grateful I was pregnant because I probably would have been really depressed. I gave birth to my Rainbow Baby 24 years ago this month. I am not the proud parent of two beautiful daughters (27 and 24). I don't regret what I went through, as painful as it was. I had been through worse things in my life and I came out of it stronger.
Thank you for sharing your story with everyone. I am sure you have helped a lot of people.
I definitely struggled with the thought that because I had one miscarriage that I would miscarry every time I got pregnant now I have a beautiful rainbow baby. He is exactly a month younger than Drew
Oh my gosh everything you said is exactly how I’m feeling. I found out after our miscarriage and 2 years of trying that I have low ovarian reserve at age 33. Now we will need to do infertility treatment. Which I’m terrified for. I feel less of a women and it’s so hard. I’m glad I’m not alone in feeling all the feels.
My heart and body always knew I was pregnant before it ever showed up on a test. You just feel like there is something different inside your body. And after a miscarriage of course you want to try again immediately because it's not just the loss of a child its also the loss of a dream, of the idea of what your future was going to be because the second the news settles in your brain we start imagining what our future is going to look like and who that child is going to be. And miscarriage is just so sudden. But rainbow babies definitely help make the hole in your heart easier to live with ❤
IM 12 mins in and your bold honesty is so helpful. thank you
Loved y'all sharing y'alls hearts about y'alls micarrage. There are just so many people male and female who could learn so much from your stories.
I myself actually had a baby girl (Gabrielle) who would have been 25 years old May 8th, and Shawn is 100% correct in saying that you loose a piece of your heart after a loss of a child. There is nothing that anyone can say or do to make you feel better when going through the situation only in time does the pain lessen, but even after 25 yrs the pain is not fully gone. BUT GOD!!
Continue to keep doing what y'all are doing, and remember to always keep God the center of your marriage.
🕊✨ Wow. The individual that you encountered at the Santa Monica boardwalk was just a beautiful and delicate way that The Lord used him as a vessel to speak to the two in the moment when you needed it the most!
Y'all are amazing! God's timing is always perfect, and Drew is so perfect!!! God bless your precious family!!!
love ur channel! thank you for inspiring me during quarantine
I love you guys so much! Shawn, you probably don't remember this but I actually met you at a gymnastics event in Hartford, CT about 4 years ago! I love all of your videos and I can't wait for tomorrow's!
S: I was so glad to meet! Thanks for following our journey!
My husband and I are TTC, early on I had the worst cramps 3 months after trying. I have never felt the pain like these cramps before. I don't know what a miscarriage feels like and I sometimes wonder if I experienced it that day. Thank you for sharing your story!
Six years ago, I had a miscarriage at 9.5 weeks, right before we were about to tell everyone. Fifteen months later our beautiful son was born. His birth really healed us. It isn’t that we’ve forgotten about our first baby, but we now understand that nature happens, our first baby was simply not meant to be, and the path we went down led us to our son. My only advice is: don’t let the grief eat away at you.
Great vlog, thank you for being so honest!
wow - look to the 35 min mark. you guys are making such a dif in pplls lives. vulnerablitly is strength and bravery. thnx
I feel everything that you are saying. I found out I was pregnant very early on and everyone assumed I was having twins because twins run in my husband’s family. Everyone was anticipating my first appointment and was expecting me to say that I was having twins. Well, I was pregnant with twins. However, baby B had no heartbeat. It was shocking and something I never expected. I remember a friend had made the comment, “well at least you still have another.” Having to tell people made me feel guilty for not being happy about baby A. So many people in my husband’s family tried to convince us that the technician had made a mistake and magically, there would be another heartbeat at my 12 week appointment so I felt like I had to break the news again. It was probably the worst time in my life and I have guilt about not being able to bond to my pregnancy for a long time. I felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. My baby girl is now 10 months old, but I still think about her brother or sister every day.
Wow that is amazing... that person is absolutely right!
Shawn, I have always looked up to you since 2008 when you were at the Olympics. To be able to know someone I admire has had a similar experience as me makes me feel less alone, even if for a second. Literally just had my first pregnancy end in miscarriage in March of this year and I’m so heartbroken. It’s hard missing someone you never got to meet and longing for the experience of being a mother after losing your baby. I was so excited and to have it just ripped away from me shortly after is devastating. I’m worried about having another baby, with timing and doing it when God wants me to but I’m also afraid of losing another baby. Please pray for me 😞.
With my 1st miscarriage, I was curled in a ball on the couch in the fetal position crying my eyes out, in such physical & emotional pain. We'd tried for yrs to conceive. My husband sat across the room, ignored me, wouldn't hug me, talk to me or even look at me. He didn't know how to handle the disappointment & loss he was feeling, or how to console me. That made me feel like a failure, & even more lost & alone. The 2nd miscarriage happened literally a week after we found out & we hadn't even got our hopes up, pretty much refused to believe that it'd be a viable pregnancy. The 3rd miscarriage was the worst, but it brought our relationship to another level. It happened in the hospital when I was 10 1/2 weeks & we were thinking we were almost in the clear of miscarrying. The doctor had me stand up & my husband watched as blood POURED out of me all over the floor in the hospital room. His face turned white. He was worried he was going to lose me, as well as the baby. He held my hand through the whole thing that time. When we got home, we held each other & cried together. I finally didn't feel so alone, & I saw how much he was hurting too. We've been together now 17yrs, & expecting our 3rd child next month. God has truly blessed us!
You both seem so in tune with each other
That was my biggest thing is walking around normal. I have 2 kids and love them so much. To hear them ask for a sibling and not tell them anything its like a huge secret I feel like im holding from them. The emotions are crazy after a miscarriage and I feel like you grieve forever of the what ifs of that baby would have been in your life
I’m having a d&c tomorrow. My first ultrasound (6weeks, 6days) the gestational sac was empty...following ultrasound (8weeks, 4days) it remained empty. I have what’s called an Anembryonic pregnancy (blighted ovum), the fertilized egg attaches to the uterus but an embryo doesn’t develop.
Joan - email is at couplethingspod@gmail.com to let us know the results! We’re praying for you!
Joan - you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so so so sorry you are having to experience this pain. I miscarried July 31 and had a D&C on August 4. I actually just walked in the door from my two week follow up. You are not alone and I’m praying over you and your doctors tomorrow.
I’m an in a similar boat 7 week ultrasound was Tuesday and was empty, waiting for further instructions. 💔
Hannah Williams Thank you so much.
Holly Hermanson I chose a d&c because I had already waited for 2 weeks to get the confirmation, I didn’t want to wait any longer. I do have a healthy and happy 1 year old son named Maverick. After this recent pregnancy we decided we’re not going to try again. I also have a 10 year old stepdaughter.
Thanks for sharing your story
Not to take away from the story, because I absolutely watched all the vlogs that y’all released about the miscarriage from giving Andrew the shoes to the first vlog back and on, but I am completely obsessed with that mercury glass lamp over Andrew’s left shoulder. I feel like there is likely another one over Shawn’s right shoulder, but we don’t get that shot of her. Totally obsessed!
Hey, love you guys and the show!! Did I miss an interview episode last week? Last episode was your last one about miscarriage?
We had technical difficulties on the interview last week so we pulled it.
@@shawnandandrewpods no worries!! I just love soaking up your nuggets of advice ❤️ thanks for bravely sharing as much as you do.
Thank you for sharing
My dr wasn't good with mine. She made it so traumatic. I hadn't known before it that I was pregnant because my cycles were so off. We had been trying for a while at that point and I had quit testing for a 2 month period because it hurt so bad to see a negative test every month. So I went into the doctor on july 24th 2012. My doctor said I was having a miscarriage and it was a blessing because people my age then are terrible parents and I should thank God it died. She was smiling and laughing about it like it wasn't a big deal. My SO at the time acted about the same. The only person who treated it how I did was my mom. I never did have kids after that but every year my mom gets me stuff for mothers day, which hurts but was also a big part of me healing, by acknowledging and supporting me.
I noticed you had an episode last week and it showed up on TH-cam and then all of a sudden it was gone, i can not find the episode on TH-cam anymore. 🤷♀️🙁
Yes - we had technical difficulties and pulled it.
Love u guys x
We appreciate you!!!
I'm only half way through but I need to comment! First, much love to you both and I'm sorry for your loss...this is such a difficult thing to go through. I want to validate, from my experience, two things Shawn mentioned, and both times said does that make sense? And Andrew didn't seem to really undsrstand, so I think it may make more sense to a woman who has felt it. I miscarried my first pregnancy at 6 weeks, had 5 healthy uncomplicated pregnancies with beautiful full term babies, and then miscarried again at 9 weeks. Both times I felt exactly what you described as a sense of not having "earned" the right to grieve since I was not very far along in the pregnancies, and a reluctance to talk about it to other people because they might think it wasn't that big of a deal at that stage. Also, especially with the 9 week miscarriage, I felt very strongly that terrible emptiness and the desire to fill it so I wouldn't have to feel un-pregnant. One other point: you said there is no post-partum period for women after a miscarriage. That's true from a societal standpoint, but our bodies certainly go through a form of post-partum recovery. I even noticed losing my hair after miscarriage, like after my full term births. I think it's important to honor and respect that recovery process and give ourselves time to heal, physically and emotionally. Thank you for sharing this conversation. Andrew's perspective is important too, as I know my husband also had the feeling of being more removed from the pregnancies that I miscarried and didn't feel the same things I felt. The happy ending here is that I did conceive again and after being scared through the first 9 weeks I did carry my son to full term, and I'm so happy and grateful to have this one in my arms! ❤
Looking back, do you feel that homeless man was actually an angel sent to help you? I've had a few such "stranger" visitations at pivotal moments that I feel was God blessing me with help or guidance.
Its hard to write this but i recently told my boyfriend about the miscarriage i had, he was fully supportive and absolutely wonderful. Though i feel he is holding back from me since i told him about it, now the question is how would i approach a conversation on this hard subject without pushing him away? From a guys prospective do i need to give him more time or he will bring it up when he is ready to come to terms with everything? I'm at a loss, It's heartbreaking because i notice so many changes happening and don't know how to go with the new ways everything is now! please help!
We lost 3 babies. We also have 5 living children, including twins. The first loss was our 2nd son, and we were 7 months along. I went into labor early and we found out he was already gone. I still had to have a full labor and delivery, then hemorrhaged, rushed into lifesaving surgery. Being that far along was hell. When we came home, my husband was hiding all we had bought for the baby so I didn't have to see it. I was pregnant with our daughter 3 months later. Our 2nd loss was our 6th pregnancy. and was a ruptured ectopic pregnancy, where I was rushed into another lifesaving surgery, and I lost a Fallopian tube. My last loss was a first trimester miscarriage and a month later my husband died suddenly. I woke on Valentine's Day and found him, left with PTSD and our 5 children to raise alone.
Praying for you and your family. That is very rough what you have bee. Through. Thank you for sharing. I know that was hard for you
Great no awesome show!
I am emailing you my stillbirth story. Thank you for sharing your loss.
Did y’all do anything as like a memorial for the lost baby? Or like create something to remember it by?
There r so many things that come unexpectedly
You both seem to live life fully
Ready for two already
That was an angle of God that homeless man who came up to them
That homeless man may have been an angel 😇
Drew has Andrew’s face.😊
drew is your rainbow baby!!
I have the hope, in Christ, that I will someday see all three of the babies I miscarried. It has been 35, 34, and 31 years since it happened, and I still think of what could have been. Luckily, God gave me one baby, who is now 33 years old.