Yeah, if the inhaler was locked up and OPs husband had an attack, then it just takes longer for OP to get the inhaler, putting the husband's life at risk. The parents really are the biggest morons smh
Do they even know what asthma is? The husband needs to keep the inhaler with him at all times, not lock it away. Not only they are crappy parents, they are dumb as hell too.
Let OP throw away her sister's cancer meds as a 'prank' and see how they react in that situation. Not actually throwing it but hold decoy as well and throw the decoy in front of them to somewhere else that is considered as contaminated. Medication isn't a toy and it's supposed to be easy grab for the ones in need of it
For the first story: OP should have pretended as though husband had actually died at the hospital, and sat nephew down: "I have terrible news. Uncle OP died as a result of his inhaler being stolen. The cops are going to be coming soon to investigate everyone in the house. I'm sure they're gonna wanna talk to you because you've done this before. It's not looking good." Then, when kid freaks out: "Haha, don't get so worked up. It was JUST A PRANK, BRO."
That would have been brilliant. Teach the little bastard a lesson. Hell, to take it to the next level, the cops should have slapped the cuffs on him and put him in the squad car, making him think that he was going to jail only to just drive around the block. Lol
@@DjG7979 I agree. But I also believe in traumatizing children out of bad behavior. I never claimed to be a good person. When my 6 year old son and I were at the mall visiting my daughter at the shoe store where she worked he got bored, cried and walked out of the door and hid around the corner in another store. When I finally found him I sat him down and told him the story about Adam Walsh who was kidnapped from a mall and beheaded. I showed him his photo. I haven't had that problem with him since then and he doesn't seem worse for it.
Story 4 This may not be "divorce" territory but it is "have a private conversation with your daughter to find out if there's anything happening behind your back" territory.
@@ThePuppeteerr I think that N LeeM meant in addition to the cake. The cake should be what the birthday girl wants, but if its in the budget, I don't see anything wrong with providing an alternative for the sister or others who might want something else. I imagine that there were probably chips and soda, too. So a few cupcakes wouldn't have been that weird.
@@brittanybutts4529 yeah that's fair, having more options if possible is great, gives everyone the chance to enjoy something a little different if they want. Still terrible wife needs to be watched over to make sure she's not messing with the child behind the father's back.
Story 1: The thing that seals the deal on the nephew being a POS, is him continuing to withhold the inhaler once OP and her husband went to the hospital and laughing about it afterwards. He literally found the concept of his uncle having to go to the hospital funny!?! That's no longer "prankster" territory, that's full blown psycho!
Not sure about the validity of this one??? I mean, if I needed an inhaler as a matter of 'life and death', I wouldn't want to be wondering around the house looking for it while gasping for breath......would you??? It would be where I could grab it right then, not have to go search the home. Dayummed well surely would be out of my sight. And if that absent-minded, get one of those key ring thingys with the chains and wear it all the time. Or have more that just one inhaler even if I didn't have someone hiding them, supposedly. That just don't add up to me.
@@snafubar5491 Whether or not OP's husband could do a better job of storing his inhaler, is totally irrelevant to the status of her nephew's state of mind. He found the idea of her husband almost suffocating and having to go to the hospital hilarious! To him, the idea that he had put another human's life in mortal jeopardy, was something to laugh about. It's a source of amusement and accomplishment that he nearly became responsible for the death of another person. If OP left her car keys on a peg next to the front door and her nephew stole the car, ran over a neighbor and laughed about how funny that was, would you take someone seriously if they said "Well, you can't call the kid a psycho, because his aunt should have kept the keys in her pocket!" or something like that?
@@gregbasore2108......The only irrelevant thing with these stories is the peoples opinions based only on one side. Without all the facts, neither of our opinions matter. My point is that who in their right mind just leaves their inhaler just laying around somewhere when they say it's needed that badly??? Not commenting on the nephew actions, but the improbability of it being that important and not within arms reach 24/7/365. How is it even left out for nephew to find??? Nope, it's gonna be somewhere on my person so no one can hide it. And just one inhaler??? Doesn't add up to me. I known more than a few folks on inhalers, and the serious cases have more than one, just in case. Car keys are not an inhaler. Oranges to horseapples. Try again. But let's play that game. If they knew he would take the car keys and just left the keys on the hook, then yes, they are TA. Does the nephew own part of it....yes.....but if he didn't have access to it then no joyride. Just like the inhaler. No access to it, and no hiding it. After the fist time, there would be no second chance. Pretty simple.....no???
Story 2: Her reaction is absolute proof her “so close” comments were NEVER compliments. They were insults. And she knew it. And I feel bad for the husband for being married to her. Especially since he has told her in so many ways to stop because it bothers him but she keeps doing it..heck doubled down on it
Yep. I would contact her, and just when she thinks I'm about to apologize to her, I would demand an apology for EVERY SINGLE TIME she abused me the same way, and if she doesn't GROVEL for my forgiveness, then I'll not only divorce her, but also expose her to her family and friends as the abuser she's always been. And if she DOES grovel for forgiveness, I'll probably still divorce her, just as a matter of self-preservation. But at least I won't expose her to the world. That's mercy, right?
Yep. I was married to a woman like that, although she didn't do the "so close" thing -- she found other ways to tear me down. Then finally when I began to stand up to her, she divorced me. By then I was so beaten down I doubt I cuold have left her on my own.
As an asthmatic who nearly died a few days ago because I couldn't find my inhaler,the first story made me irrationally angry. Literally the first time the kid hid the inhaler I would've kicked him out right then and there. It's literally attempted murder
Anyone with a heart, asthmatic or not, should be pissed. It’s not even irrational, it’s on the same level as hiding the cane of someone who has trouble walking in their own. If something goes terribly wrong, they’re screwed. Not being able to walk (OR BREATHE) if something life-threatening is happening is a death sentence.
I have, but it’s usually for poorer families and it’s agreed upon before hand like “hey, could you pitch in 5 bucks for the dinner next week? Moneys a little tight rn”
The only other time I've heard of this was when my older brother was a guest at his girlfriends sisters for Christmas. They didn't ask him beforehand, and he was the only one who was asked to pay.
Question: What's Canadian thanksgiving about? Like the US version is about giving thanks for the neighbors (native Americans) and friends and family and the food that is able to be provided by said neighbors, friends and family. If it's the same or similar idea, isn't asking someone to pay the exact opposite of thanksgiving?
@@sleepingkirby Different history, but same principal. It's a celebration of a bountiful harvest season. The Canadian version has it's roots in indiginous culture, pre-dating the arrival of westerners. But in practice, it's pretty much the same thing these days. Both in Canada and the US, many traditions have been blurred together. Nearly every culture has some sort of harvest celebration analogous to Thanksgiving. In northern Europe, it's Wassailing. It's somewhat antiquested and not so much a formal Holiday, but a common tradition celebrating the harvest. In this case, mostly the apple harvest, and getting drunk on cider, but also showing appreciation for friends and neighbors. The Egyptians have had harvest festivals since basically the dawn of time, lol. The Chinese have several harvest festivals, mostly region specific. Likewise, most cultures have spring celebrations for surving the winter months. In judeo-Chrstian western culture, most of those traditions have been subsumed by Easter or Passover but there are a lot of very similar pegan traditions, all centered around Rebirth or Survival. Most nations and culture have an equivilant of Independence day. July 4th, Cinco de Mayo, the Jews commerating the exodus, nearly every eastern European country commerates a great victory in battle that defined a nation and people. Halloween is mirroed by many culture's celebrations in remebmberence of the dead. I'm sure you've heard about the similarities between Christmas and various pegan solstice celebrations. Most cultures have an analogue to Valentines day to celebrate love, sex, fertility, etc. Every holiday is basically a cheap knock-off of something else, and the traditions are fairly interchangable. People universally celebrate: • Prosperity • Love • Commeration of the dead • Victory in Battle • Enduring Hardship • Renewal • Dedication of faith • Commemoration of sacrafice • A tribute to the dutiful Almost any holdiay in the world tracks back to one of these principles, and the traditions themselves are just a slightly different take on the same overarching principle. None of them are really original, unless you're into som ereally weird shit like animal worship, lol.
As a husband who nearly lost his wife from am asthma attack because my ex friend thought it would be funny one day to hide it from its usual spot, The 16 year old needs to be accountable and OPs parents are just horrible people. We keep spares in my place now because seeing that event made me realise how bad asthma is and I don't want my wife to go through that again.
I feel lucky my asthma is very mild. It causes allergies, wheezing, and short breaths a lot but I haven't had an attack since I was like seven. My heart aches for those who have it a lot worse.
Fifth story: What I see is that NO ONE IN OP'S FAMILY is on the side of OP. The brother and the ex cheated on him and the rest of the family is just ignoring that and didn't offer support to OP for what I heard, in fact, they actually enabled his pain by ignoring it.
It's even worse when you look at OP's comments. Apparently, after he'd broken up with his ex, he lived with his parents for awhile and his brother would have the ex over and they'd loudly screw in the room next door. No wonder he wants nothing to do with the guy even after a quarter century.
I haven't even started the 1st story yet and I'm really eager to hear the nephew scream "it's just a prank bro" as hes dragged away on an attempted murder charge
As someone with asthma I can confirm that attacks are painful. Every second is a struggle especially if you have things that can lead to larger triggers of attacks. It can lead to panic which can increase you desire to breathe but you can't cause it's like trying to breath outta crushed straw. I keep both my inhalers on me for emergencies like if it gets so severe I need immediate medical attention so I can say it's here.
I find it absolutely priceless that the wife in the second-to-last story say that birthdays are no excuse to show favoritism, yet she is clearly favoring Britney in that situation
I wonder if Britney is the spoilt brat type, because OP's wife said Britney hates chocolate, but got a vanilla cake with chocolate chunks on top. If Britney's spoilt she'd have a meltdown over having to pick the chocolate off the cake. I also wonder if OP's wife got her daughter banned from children's birthday parties, because she'd let Britney open presents and blow candles out that wasn't hers.
For crying out loud... Have two different smaller cakes on both girl's birthdays. That's how you'll accommodate both on both occasions and show favoritism to both. And quit fighting over something this stupid.
She is clearly showing that she more than likely never liked the kid from the start and has no real feelings towards her. So, what do you think would happen to that daughter if her father died in a car crash? Do you think his wife would even care to raise her? More than likely she would treat her like trash and turn her into Cinderella or Harry Potter having her live in a dingy room with no toys nor new clothes/shoes at any point. Why would you stay married to a she daemon like that?
As a Canadian, I’m appalled by the Thanksgiving dinner story. We are the total opposite up here, it’s insane that someone asked a guest to pay for anything while visiting!
@@margaretjohnson6259 it's so wierd. Even American and Mexican culture for Thanksgiving, we don't even pay. Like yeah we throw a massive party but we don't ask for people to pay up.
I've heard of this before but can't remember where but apparently it is a thing in some cultures. Not Canadians of course, I think it was one particular religious sect, don't remember which. That would also explain the escort to her own room
Story 5: OP told them that if they had an event and the brother was invited that he wouldn't go. And as his daughter one would think shed know more than anyone how her own father feels and to disregard his feelings is low AF. So it sounds to me like a classic 'F**k around and find out' situation. She chose her side, so she can ask her uncle to pay OP's half since theyre so close now.🤷🏾♀️
@@LEXXIUSoh, no. He can most definitely laugh. Either she realizes her hypocrisy, or he gets to divorce her with cause. She's spent years condescending him, and gets bent out of shape when he returns it? Nah. Dude needs to serve her papers and move on. That kind of dickish narcissism doesn't get better.
Right? And she didn't just do this when he was down. She even did this during his high points. She sounds like one of these miserable jack-asses that pull the "I'm just brutally honest and I know better than everyone," but the second they even THINK they're getting a taste of their own medicine, they flip and suddenly they're the victim and playing their own narrative. Ugh my grandmother is this way and it's so freaking narcissistic, ridiculous, and exhausting. What's worse is there is no point trying to talk to them about it because every single time it goes in one ear and out the other.
I had to stop the video, I didn't knew that those prases could be so triggining, it's awful that someone that "loves" you can say that to you, and is "just honesty"... No dear, go treat your control freakness...
Birthday cake story- YES, yes we are in divorce territory here. Because I can bet confidently that the step-mom has done a lot of stuff to Olivia that OP doesn't know a out. He needs to take Olivia and have a sit down and ask how she's been treated. I believe it will be a very enlightening conversation.
Hear hear! Anyone who'd treat my kids with that level of disrespect, i can't trust to treat me with respect either, and if thats the case, why stay married?
Yeah, I can see stepmom saying husband should pour a ton of cash into Britney's college costs and then refusing to help with Olivia's. Frankly I can see her thinking Britney should go wherever she wants no matter how expensive then claiming Olivia should should choose the cheapest option because 'we can't afford' it.
That's what I thought too. There are red flags of ongoing emotional abuse by the stepmother all over that story. Staying with someone who is abusing his kid would make OP the butthole. From the story, it sounds like OP is standing up for his daughter so hopefully he will get them both out of that situation.
No, this is not divorce territory, but definitely a red flag. One that could make OP start seeing other red flags if they exist. If this is the only problem they have had in their marriage, they should consider themselves lucky. However if there are other red flags... yeah, this wouldn't be the sole reason, but the catalyst that started the fire.
Story 1: Tell the 16 year old nephew to pay the hospital bill. Someone who think stealing an inhaler is a prank, hold their head underwater and see if they still think not being able to breathe is funny.
Considering the last time was serious enough OP's husband had to go to hospital, and the nephew was heard giggling in his room, I can honestly say he knows what he's doing and he's enjoying the power and control he has on someone's life. It's as if he's been taking the inhaler to see what could happen to OP's husband.
One time I went to the hospital for a bad asthma attack. I overheard the male receptionist (not a doctor or a nurse) tell the others "Asthma isn't even a medical emergency." Like 🤡 Of course! Not being able to breathe isn't important at all! 😤🥲
Dude it feels so good to hear NTA on that last story because ive seen it elsewhere and people actually say OP was the AH. Their biggest reason i saw is "it was 20 years ago" without mentioning OP really cared about this girl who cheated on him with his *brother*
That daughter was my least favorite in the story. As a daughter myself to the best dad in the world, if my uncle (who I also love so much) took my dad’s gf away from him and had a kid with her, there’s no way in the hell I’d want to have even a cordial relationship with them. I’d look at my cousin as the affair baby and never talk to them. I wouldn’t care if it happened 50 or 100 years ago. Family is more than blood, it’s how you treat them, love them, and will do your best to never hurt them. His brother and daughter did the exact opposite and the rest of his family is no better.
Honestly true compromise would have been a half chocolate, half vanilla cake but the birthday person shouldn't have to compromise when it's ***THEIR*** birthday
@@majoratwili7312 Plus the half and half wouldn’t have been a true compromise. You know the stepmom would never do the same thing for Olivia on Britney’s birthday. This really would’ve just become a “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine” situation. The stepmom sucks either way.
Agreed. Add the blatant favouritism and there are at least two red flags here. I'm guessing there are other red flags - abusers will abuse - but they were not pertinent to the story so OP didn't included them, or OP wasn't seeing them before - hopefully OP sees them now. The good news is OP is protecting his daughter even to the expense of arguing with the wife so there is hope.
Story 4: Ironically, the wife WAS playing favorites in this case. She straight up disrespected the Olivia choice of cake flavor and then tries to justify it, calling Olivia selfish. Also, if it really was a compromise, then the cake would be half and half like most cakes at my town's church. Instead, she decided to go with a full-vanilla with pieces of chocolate. That's not a compromise
Yeah, rslash is correct that the story will change when Britney's birthday comes around. Then stepmom will say Olivia is entitled for expecting Britney to get a chocolate cake. OP's wife needs professional help.
Doing a half/half cake is not really a compromise either, since you know the mom wouldn't do the same thing on her daughter's birthday. She would tell her step-daughter to just suck it up. I'm agreeing with rSlash that this isn't something that should end the marriage, but a serious red flag. One that will probably make OP start noticing other red flags, and things will snowball from there. It's up to both parents to figure out what to do from there, but you know the likely outcome.
Even splitting the cake isn't a compromise, It's Olivia's birthday, she gets to make the choice. Do you really think Britney would split her cake? nope.
Not arguing, just adding, The compromise in my house (because I always get cheesecake or red velvet, and my brother has autism and will only eat vanilla) is just to get me whatever weird-flavored fancy cake I want, and to get him a 5$ small vanilla cake from the grocery store. For the story specifically, they could've even ordered a vanilla cupcake or something.
For the 3rd story, if they'd gone out to eat it'd be pretty reasonable to ask op to pay for her portion, but charging for a home cooked Thanksgiving meal is just. Insane. Especially without making it clear beforehand that they'd have to pay
@@whitedragon153 on top of that why 30$ is OP buying the turkey while his family pays for sides? He even said it would be rude to ask a guest to pay when he was at his gf house how does he not see the irony there?
@@asmith8692 With any luck. She should break up with him posthaste. Can you imagine having those people as inlaws? You'd have to bring your credit card every time they invited you over, or at least ask the price list before you accept their invitation.
Its kinda funny. The wedding story reminds me of the last wedding story rSlash covered. The one where the dad wasn't asked to walk his daughter down the aisle because she instead chose her step dad, the guy her mom cheated on her dad with
So close lol. She asked both her dad and her step-dad to walk her down the aisle together as her step dad helped raise her for half her childhood so he was like a second father to her that in no way did she try to replace her dad with.
@@mariposa9506 So close lol. She asked her dad to walk her down the aisle with a cheating skank who ruined his dad’s life and their entire family. So close though lol.
Not sure if it was the same story, but there was one that started like that and the dad cut his daughter out of his life, and the daughter spended YEARS trying to re-conect with her dad but he never talked with her again, not even as he was dying of canced, and the daughter realized after his death the real magnitude of her actions
@@mariposa9506 you're far from the truth. The daughter chose the cheating ex best friend and her mother over a father who spoiled her for years. On top of that bombarding him last minute with the fact that he was expected to walk his daughter down the aisle with that piece of shit. Please for the love of God don't twist the narrative as you please.
@@KanaidBlack again, twisting the truth doesn't help anyone. She literally cut him off in every way shape and form and constantly disrespected his feelings. The father was willing to go so far as to give her a blank check for the wedding. She gave him last minute notice that the ex best friend who cheated with his ex wife was walking down the aisle alongside him and his daughter. The disrespect caused him to cut off his daughter finally.
Yeah, it's weird enough that the parents are charging a guest. I think it's even more bizarre that the BF didn't bother to mention it and didn't offer to pay it on her behalf. He must have realized only his family does this crazy thing.
I loved it whe Rslash screamed 'NOOO' after the first story. I agree, I'm sick of these entilted families too that I would start screaming after reading one. Also for story 2, I don't want to say split up but It sounds like the wife enjoys putting her husband down but instantly gets angry when the uno reverse card is played on her, it sounds like he's unhappy and should maybe leave but i might be reading too much into it.
I don't think so. It sounds like emotional abuse to me. It reminds me of my past where there was someone in my childhood who in certain situations where he was already threatening he always knew how to hit the string that would hurt you most and choose to hurt you with it. And he didn't necessarily have control of himself (it's no excuse and still abuse but there were medical reasons for it that were undiagnosed at the time). This wife is just enjoying the powerplay and seems to have a properly functional brain so no clear medical stuff going on (that we know of). Regardless, if there was stuff like that going on it's still emotional abuse. And she's gaslighting him by telling him his feelings about her words are, in fact, wrong because the insult is supposedly a compliment and he's supposed to take it that way. We all know it's not, because if it was she would've apologized and stopped as soon as husband mentioned his discomfort. Just because this is bully behaviour doesn't make it less abusive. Bullying is abuse. She deserved what she got and he has to get out of there. He can go, I couldn't. I just wonder if this was going on before they were married or if it started after they tied the knot.
Story 4: "Brittany's always watching". Wife then refuses to celebrate her step-daughters birthday as OP bought her a chocolate cake - isn't she watching too?
Right! If the grandparents care about their " precious nephew " then they can take him in, and enjoy his " pranks ". I'm sure they wouldn't mind him hiding their important, life-saving medicines, right? " It's just a prank! "
My inky thing is...did they actually sit him bdown and educate him on the danger of what he did? He's 16. He may not have a full understanding of how dangerous what he did was. OP doesn't make it clear whether they've actually done that and if they haven't, they need to. He may understand that it's medicine that dude needs and he absolutely doesnt grt a pass because of what I'm saying, but he may not fully understand how deadly what he is doing is and how much time is of the essence.
@@Mewse1203 at literally 8 YEARS OLD i knew my cousin NEEDED his inhaler or something bad could/would happen, so don’t use age as an excuse for this. the nephew is just mean spirited
@@Mewse1203 dude 16 is old enough to start driving and get a job in most places I’m pretty sure most 16 year olds at least have the maturity to understand life saving medicine.
Story 1: I feel the same way as Rslash because the parents are like “How dare you stop supporting him, so that we have to support him!!!”. Seriously, people these days would rather get pissed at you for trying your best instead of them actually f***ing doing it themselves.
It makes me wonder what lies the nephew utilised to manipulate them. Would they be so tolerant, had he stolen his cancer ridden mother's critical medication‽
1st story. 100% agree with Rslash. Why doesn't the parents take him in if they want to be so supportive. That kid and OPs parents both need a reality check. Being "supportive" doesn't mean "allow you to risk my life and make me go to the hospital because you think it's funny". Screw all of them.
Yep. This is a good example of gaslighting. She had him so confused about his own feelings and what is right and wrong, teaching him that his feelings were wrong, and that it REALLY WAS a kind and comforting thing to say, so he said it, when he MEANT to be kind and comforting, BECAUSE SHE TAUGHT HIM TO. I love it. I also hope that he forces her to grovel for forgiveness for all the years of abuse and gaslighting. I'd LOVE to see her exposed, with her name, on the internet, for all her family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances and business associates to see. I do NOT approve of abuse, can you tell?
Do you realize that the nephew‘s mother is sick and her recovery might be critically dependent ON HER MEDICATION? This makes it so much worse because he should know way better.
They should've told him that too. Something to wake him up like, "What if I held your mother's cancer medication until she started to panic and cry, and then showed up with it, laughing. Does that even SOUND like a prank, kid?" Lol
Ugh, that birthday story. Compromise would be getting a half-vanilla, half-chocolate cake. Or just getting two cakes (which is actually normal if you have people coming to your party allergic to chocolate or something). Ignoring the BIRTHDAY GIRL'S preferences and accommodating one SINGLE guest is NOT compromise! It's not an "everyone's happy" scenario if the birthday girl's not happy on her own birthday! If the sister doesn't want the cake, the mom can set aside some small alternative dessert for her.
Story 2: My wife used to have a phrase that I found demeaning. I told her a few times, "Don't talk to me like I'm a child." Interestingly it didn't stop because I asked her to, she stopped when I used it on her a few times and she realized what it feels like to be talked to that way.
Haha the Canadian parent story reminded me of going out to lunch with my now husband's parents. We're in the US. We had been long distance dating for several months. He had gotten into a tricky place financially because his roommate who was his brother messed up his knee and was unable to work. I had regularly been sending grocery giftcards because I knew things were really tight. Keep in mind, I made half again what he made. At lunch with his parents at a cheap but tasty burger joint, he paid for my less than $5 burger. His mom lost her damn mind and decided I was a gold digger 😂.
Second story should really bring it home that "It was a compliment! You always say it is one! why are you angry about a compliment?" and watch her either squirm in trying to find an excuse or having to shut up because her own logic hit her in the face.
As a Canadian, I can assure you that I’ve never had to pay my half of a meal as a guest. Where this comes from is beyond me. I doubt these people have many friends
As an astmatic with chronic sinus disease with polyps, If someone hid my nedulizer or inhaler they would be hiding almost $292 worth of medicine and equipment that i use daily. And i could, idk, die without that. I didnt even factor in my pills.
First story: That kid is a budding sadist. He hid the inhaler on multiple occasions. Even if he did not realize the importance the first time he did it, he certainly should have understood it after that. "It was just a prank, bro" is a lousy inscription for a tombstone.
Those boyfriend's parents were either intentionally sabotaging the relationship between him and OP, or they're control freaks (the escorting back to the room strongly suggests it's the latter). Either way, they're mega toxic and OP did the right thing by getting out of there.
I have a feeling it's both! Control freaks with the whole money and drugs thing and escorting them back to their room. And on top of it probably something along the line, "No one's ever going to be good enough for my boy!"
Second story: 100% NTA. As you said, the wife "outed" herself. She's been insulting him for YEARS. Also, I believe him that he just blurted it given it's been the background noise of his life for ages.
Yep. She's been abusing him, and then "gaslighting" him, whenever he complained or gently asked her to stop it, because it hurts him, by saying, "But, it's a compliment!" After years, it makes sense that he would internalize it as THE THING TO SAY whenever someone is hurt. After all, that is the condolence HE always gets from her, and she SAYS it's a compliment, and that she's saying it for his own good, and to make him feel better, so the Golden Rule applies, right? Do unto others as they have proven that they prefer to do unto you. She says it's GOOD and it's a COMPLIMENT, and it's SOOTHING, and so obviously that's the VERY thing she'll want to hear, herself, right? It makes SENSE. I mean, it's the perfect revenge, and now she's outed herself as an abuser, who has been lying to him for ages, and hurting him ON PURPOSE for ages, KNOWING THAT IT HURTS HIM, not only because it hurt her, but because HE TOLD HER THAT IT HURTS HIM AND ASKED HER TO STOP. She's been PURPOSEFULLY HURTING HIM FOR DECADES, and when he does it to her, SHE IS HURT. And she makes no bones about SHOWING that she is hurt. But after she did it to him so many times, she TRAINED him to do it, and so she can't blame anyone but herself. Honestly, now that she has proved that she was hurting him ON PURPOSE, I'd divorce her butt, ASAP. I WOULD, however, give her a message: "Apologize to me. You have pulled this crap over and over and over and over for YEARS. I told you, over and over and over and over FOR YEARS that it hurt me, and I asked you nicely, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER FOR YEARS to STOP DOING IT. You responded, that, 'oh, no! It's a compliment!' and that I had no right to feel hurt or complain, because you were saying it to soothe me. You LIED to me FOR YEARS, telling me that the thing you said, on purpose to hurt me, was actually a soothing compliment. And I LEARNED that it was a soothing compmliment, and the thing to say when someone was hurting. But when I said it to you, legitimately trying to comfort you with YOUR VERY OWN 'COMPLIMENT,' you outed yourself as a liar and an abuser, who has been ABUSING ME FOR YEARS, ON PURPOSE, and DESPITE MY PLEAS TO STOP. So, no, I will not apologize for hurting you this once. Instead, I DEMAND that you apologize to me. You must BEG me for forgiveness, because if you don't, then I WILL divorce you. You have X hours to come CRAWLING ON YOUR KNEES to apologize for the YEARS OF ABUSE YOU KNOWINGLY PILED ON ME. Otherwise, I'll leave you, AND I will expose you to all your friends and family. Because you ABUSED ME. I am NAMING it and OWNING it, and this IS my hill to die on. You won't lie to me, anymore. You outed yourself, when you responded with pain, when I comforted you the same way you've always "comforted" me. So, you ALWAYS KNEW HOW MUCH IT HURT. And I find you absolutely disgusting, because of it. I'm not sure I can forgive you, even if you DO come crawling on your knees begging for forgiveness, but I AM sure that I CANNOT forgive you without it, you LYING ABUSIVE ASSHOLE!" Honestly, this is absolutely infuriating, and I WOULD divorce over it.
Even if we give her the benefit of the doubt on believingits a compliment, solely to play Devil's Advocate, she's still the one in the wrong for not stopping when asked and for trying to defend her wounded pride, calling her husband awful things when she "realizes" how much that hurts to be told.
12:10 She gets upset that one the vanilla loving girl gets left out, yet doesn't care that the chocolate loving girl gets left out, on her birthday? way to have a golden child / favourite
Story 1) He literally threatened your husband's life by withholding his inhaler. He was told twice by this point (at the very least) to stop doing that, it wasn't funny the first time and it wasn't funny now. If his grandparents want to coddle him, then they can take him in. See how funny his 'pranks' are when they can't find medications important to their health because 'it's just a prank'. OP gets 0 points, the nephew gets 5 points for almost killing a guy for a practical joke, knowing full well what could happen. The grandparents get 4 points for defending him. Story 2) So it's ok when she belittles you with that condescending phrase, but the moment you hit her back with it; intentionally or not, suddenly you're the 'huge jerk'? No, that's not how this works. If you don't want to be given a taste of your own medicine, then stop forcing it down everyone else's throats. OP gets 0 points, the wife gets 3.5 points. What a child. Story 3) The long and short of all of this is that the parents are stingy and they don't trust you. They ask *guests* to pay for ingredients they were *offered* to ingest? That's like buying someone a Christmas gift and saying 'here's your gift, you owe me $(x), thank you!'. And it's blatantly obvious they don't trust you, they made that obvious when they outright asked you if you had any drugs, and then further cemented that distrust when she escorted you to your room. Not the asshole, your boyfriend's parents are fucking weird. Story 4) So, a 'birthday is no excuse for a child to be shown favoritism', so it's only ok if Britney is shown clear favoritism but not Olivia? It's Olivia's birthday, she is supposed to have *some* favoritism shown. The perfect compromise would have been to get a 50/50 cake, my father got one for his 50th birthday, half was chocolate, half was vanilla. Everyone was happy because everyone got what they wanted. Your wife has no intentions of compromising, it's either Britney's way or no way. Honestly, I'd lay down the law or kick her to the curb, this won't be the last disagreement of this magnitude, I can promise you that. OP gets 0 points. Also, rSlash, I heavily disagree with your take on it not being divorce territory. His wife went *behind* his back to make changes to suit her daughter more. Makes me wonder where else she does this. Story 5) Yeah, I have to say this was a major dick move on the daughter's part. I get it, she can have a relationship with her uncle, there's no denying that, but you have to respect someone's boundaries when they clearly state they do not want to be around said person. Not the asshole, boundaries were crossed, she's a big girl, she can either woman up and accept that you can't have your cake and eat it too, or just let go of what's causing the issue.
Story 3, its so obvious that they dont trust her. Who asks their probably future daughter in law if they have drugs? Its like a very straight-forward 'fuck you'. The boyfriend probs thinks this is normal bc duh thats his parents, thats what he has been taught. The bf needs a wake-up slap and the bf's parents need harsh slaps.
The dads a grown man he can Go and choose not to be near the two problem solved ya it sucks they hurt him but. this is hurting the daughter the same way if not more for the daughter oh you won’t come cause of something that happened a long time ago? How about go with your new gf and show how much happier u are than bro and ex
First Story, NTA: As someone who use to have asthma I know how serious having an inhaler is. What OP's nephew is doing is extremely dangerous and could cause OP's husband to die. He is a danger to OP's husband and has to go. What is OP's parents saying?! Why can’t they take him? Why does OP's husband have to lock their stuff up because the nephew is pulling these dangerous "pranks", hell OP can’t lock up an inhaler Second Story, NTA: Sound condescending? OP's wife IS being condescending. I honestly would’ve done the exact same thing. She is just mad because it was dished out to her. OP deserves no butthole score, she does the exact same thing to OP everytime Third Story, NTA: Immediately asking someone if they had drugs was a major red flag honestly. OP's boyfriend's parents are weird. All of this is weird honestly. I agree rSlash, it would’ve been right if he paid but he just let all of this happen Fourth Story, NTA: Bro today is Oliva's birthday, she should be able to enjoy HER birthday. OP's wife is teaching Brittney to be entitled. I find it ironic how she is saying OP is playing favorites when she is trying to do the same thing Fifth Story, NTA: Those are reasonable boundaries honestly. OP has been crushed and hurt by his brother's betrayal. OP has no obligation to pay for the wedding. She made the choices and has to suffer the concequences
The whole drugs thing in the third story might not have been a red flag if they were still kids/teens and they were having a sleepover, which also would've made the sleeping in different rooms thing make more sense. But they're adults, you shouldn't instantly question whether adults have drugs, it should just be assumed they don't. Especially since they had to fly to get there.
The birthday cake story - OP’s wife had the nerve to call HIM controlling when she’s the one who didn’t take no for an answer and went behind his back to make changes to the order. Then went ahead and picked it up herself so that she could put him in a situation where he had no other choice but to accept this new cake. THAT’S controlling. Thankfully, the bakery could accommodate.
"Birthdays are no excuse for favoritism". The F a Birthday party is for that person, the party is literally about them! If learning to compromise is so important do it on her daughter's birthday! Honestly op needs a divorce asap if she's starting fights over cake that her daughter isn't allergic to.
Haven't they ever heard of cupcakes? What a stupid thing to fight over. Yes, very ironically, her calling her husband controlling when he maintained reasonable boundaries and she changed the order. Can't believe she'd disrespect her husband so much. Yep, the marriage is in trouble.
Next time, come home without your partner but with police officers saying that he died and they are there to investigate and when he's terrified, laugh at him and say "it's just a prank, bro."
"They even blamed my husband for not keeping his things locked away." Ah yes, because locking your inhaler away so it's more difficult to get to in case of an emergency is such a smart move.
I like how for story 4 Rslash said “it’s not divorce territory” but we all know if she were to die on that hill and divorce op, there would be nothing lost there
If the wife in the birthday story ACTUALLY wanted a compromise, she would've requested half vanilla, half chocolate. Or even better, just added vanilla cupcakes to the order because the cake should be for the birthday person. That way, both girls get something they like.
Things that are okay to hide as a prank would be like... the salt shaker, or something similarly mundane and trivial. And only as a one-off. People who mess with medical necessities are the worst.
tbh with the last story, unless the groom knows the full story, he's probably gonna cancel the engagement if he finds out. I know that if whoever I was marrying was inviting their uncle to the wedding when they know their dad hates their uncle, I would tell them that the wedding is off, cause you clearly don't care enough about your dad's emotions to let him decide if/when he wants to fix things with his brother instead of trying to force him to.
I can't help but agree with you. Inviting people my fiancee knew built their lives on infidelity would speak enough about her character that she doesn't consider infidelity to be a serious issue and would likely have no problem committing it herself. That wedding would be cancelled.
For the prank one, OP should have called the house from the hospital and said his uncle just died because he couldn’t find his inhaler. Also, he needs to pack his things and stay with grandma because OP can’t afford to look after him any more. After he melts down say “Just a prank bro, but you’re grounded for a month anyway”.
Ugh - the second story, about "soooo close" wife, really hit home. I grew up with a parent who always "helped" me with chores/homework/art/etc by saying, "That's good, but if you [do it my way] it would be better." My entire childhood. Any wonder I feel less-than now, like I never did and never will measure up? OP is NTA.
Story 3: They asked about the drugs because they think people on drugs steal. They did not want you to steal anything from their house. Charging a guest for a meal at your home is so messed up. They have a big house because they are cheap AF when it comes to other people but not themselves. OP needs to pay attention to the boyfriend and see if he does the same crap. If so, run!
I have severe asthma and there have been many times I've either triggered an asthma attack or worsened one because i panicked when I'd realize i cant find my inhaler. The nephew in the 1st story definitely could've killed him
First story: Yeah, I'd be putting it back on the grandparents asking if it's okay for husband to die struggling to breathe and have nephew charged with possible murder "because it's a prank". I hate people who mess with other people's medical devices.
In story #2 “you were so close” being used so often and for so long to OP actually could cause a conditioning of sorts. So when when OPs wife found out she didn’t get the job the first words that would come up is “you were so close” because that’s the condition his wife set for the phrase.
The fourth story: OP is absolutely NOT the butthole. The fact that his wife is saying that Olivia needs to compromise on her birthday so her stepsister doesn't feel left out just reeks of control issues. I would go as far as to say OP's wife is a narcissist. It becomes more obvious when she accuses Olivia of being selfish and entitled for having her way on her own birthday. Just typing that out my head is starting to hurt. You know very well, that if the shoe were on the other foot, Brittany would not have to compromise or share with Olivia because it's HER birthday. As for why OP's wife is picking this hill to die on, it's clear that she's not used to not getting her way and treats anyone who doesn't bow down to her like they're being purposely mean to her. I smell a trial separation and eventual divorce in the future.
by the way the story is written, it sounds like neither daughters are fully both parents' biological children. Shes literally being the evil stepmother trope
As a Canadian that has lived in many provinces and one territory and has visited pretty much every other province; I’ve never once been asked to pay for my food as a guest at someone’s house.
In that first story, OP said that her nephew gave the inhaler back when her husband started panicking, (already pretty screwed up behavior there) but the third time he waited until after they went to the hospital to give it back. That is escalation. If they let this kid back in. He is only going to get worse. He needs consequences and to learn that this kind of behavior is unacceptable or it is only a matter of time before one of his "pranks" actually does kill someone.
the solution to the cake conundrum if she really wanted a compromise was to get cupcakes that are vanilla and chocolate or get a main chocolate cake and Britney gets a single serving slice or mini cake of vanilla
Story 5: Man... it's tragic when the same entities that destroyed what trust you had in your family return once again to destroy the last of it through your own daughter.
I understand the anger, but man it was 26 years ago. Why would you hold on that anger for so long and damage your entire family with it? He got married, got a daughter, divorced and got a new girlfriend in the meantime. Why can’t you put your feelings aside for 1 day in order to please your daughter? He’s completely in his own right to do with his time and money as he pleases but he’s got to understand that he destroys his relationships with his family by acting this way
@@EremittV finally, someone questions it. Why let that anger influence your relationships for so long to the point that you create a sever with the one most important person in the world to you-your child? Like, yes, the fact that OP’s brother cheated is bad, it’s inexcusable. But at the same time, she was just a girlfriend (not a wife / spouse), and it was over two and a half decades ago. OP can do what he wants with his relationships, but the same rule that rSlash put to the daughter applies to OP too; you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. You can’t expect your daughter to be happy with you when you’re literally missing her wedding over a rivalry that happened 26 years ago over some girl.
@@specs7073 Thank god I found this thread. I thought I was taking crazy pills for a second. Like, why tf are you going so far over this long past rivalry to ruin a relationship with your own daughter. Dude needs help.
@@EremittV Agree completely. Hoiding a grudge for 1/4 of a century is not healthy. Hell, even France and Germany were friends 20 years after WW2 (and WW2 happened because they held grudges for WW1)
Story 1: Dangle the kid from a rope around the neck and when he's blue in the face, let him go and tell him it was "just a prank~" Story 2: Not sure if that sounds like a healthy marriage in the first place... having said that, nicely done my man! Well played Story 3: Boyfriend's family is weird asf. NTA Story 4: If she'd swapped to a neutral cake, eh, annoying but something you can still resolve. But a VANILLA cake? Wife is definitely an AH. Story 5: I have this relationship with my sister. We're dead to each other and my whole family knows this. Whenever we go to family functions, I need to be told ahead if she's going to be there, and if there's too few people, she and I will likely run into each other, in which case I just don't go at all. I've arrived at family functions, looked around the room, seen my sister and two other distant family and just left. Family tell me I need to "get over it" and that "she's family" but in my book, "Family" isn't a Get Out of Jail Free Card. You cross my boundaries, family or not, you're out. Anyone who can't respect that is also out. Better to spend your life surrounded by one or two people who truly care about you than dozens/hundreds of people who wouldn't care if you died.
Just get the birthday cake that birthday kid wants and maybe a second small cake, a pie or some pastries with different flavour. It's really not hard -.-.
As for your comment on story number four, I totally agree. Allow me to share a story with you regarding how I was not good at laying down boundaries and what it led to. I had a friend (or at least someone I thought was a friend), who I'll call “Molly.” I thought of her as the older sister I never had. At first glance, I thought she truly was a kindred spirit that would be in my life for an extended period of time. When I met Molly, I was a naive early 20-something with very little life experience. She was in her early forties with two small children, and in a seemingly unhappy marriage and on an extended “sabbatical” from her job (code for she was lazy, unemployed and believed she was “too good” to work a regular job). Because I used to let my empathy override my brain, I helped her out when she needed money. It turned into a lot of give with no reciprocation. Molly rarely ever paid me back. When I pressed her to remit what she owed me, the mask slipped. What I saw was horrifying: an insecure, spiteful, hateful, cruel, overbearing middle school mean girl trapped in a middle-aged woman's body. It was at that point that she started meddling in my life and trash-talking me (smear campaign) to anyone who would listen, specifically her flying monkeys. Social media was still new at the time and they were all on my friends list. She used them to spy on me because she was dead convinced I was talking about her. I couldn't understand that because, while I thought she was a cool person, until the conflict started, I didn't think she was that interesting. I made the mistake of telling her that. The stage-four meltdown that ensued because of my blunt response is still something I remember and this is more than 17 years later. When I called her out on gossiping about me, she became immediately defensive. It was always a case of “miscommunication” or a “misunderstanding.” Even then, I noticed something about her just didn't add up. When I asked her something along the lines of: “Why is it everyone else always has you ’all wrong’ or they're the ones who are misunderstanding you or they are the ones misconstruing things? Everybody can't be that dumb,” she went off and hung up on me. Little did I know, during the time period that I was spared of her emotional tirade, she was trash-talking me, depicting me as mean and describing me in extremely hurtful expletive-filled ways solely because I had challenged her narrative, because I dared call her out. I wasn't trying to be malicious, I simply had asked a question and she couldn't handle that I had apparently hit the nail right on the head. It's also worth pointing out, she had to go and do what I call the reverse version of the smear campaign: damage control. She immediately felt guilty because she knew that the more people she trash-talked me to, the possibility of them getting to me and relaying what she had said, had gone significantly up. It's worth pointing out, all of her supply including several of her flying monkeys knew what a high maintenance pain in the butt she was. This is where I started to find out that she was not as nice as she seemed. She actually had the nerve to say to my face, “if I can say it behind your back I can say it to your face.” I shot her down stating that she never said anything to my face. Of course, this led to a fight and more character assassinations against me. The number of atrocities Molly committed against me, include, but are not limited to and in no particular order, are: as stated, borrowing gobs of money from me that she had no intention of ever returning, spreading an entirely false rumor that I had caught an STI from a one-night stand, outing me to my estranged extremely conservative homophobic Italian Roman Catholic father (my father and I already had a rocky relationship, but what she did widened an already irreparable rift which led to him disowning me), had the nerve to try and turn the day my father died into one of her spotlight performances and when I shut her down, she had the audacity to say, and I quote, “Well, you two never got along anyway“ and, weeks later, she pretended she didn't trample all over my grieving process and not so subtly asked (demanded) I share my non-existent inheritance with her because she had lost yet another job due to poor attendance. Why? Because: “we're friendssssss!” I told her in no uncertain terms that friends don't treat people the way she treated me. She pouted and ended the call. Given these examples, I had learned of an exercise that psychiatrist's have their patients do: take a piece of paper and write down in one column, the good about the person in question and in the other side column, the bad. If the bad outweighs the good, that's when you need to come up with a plan. If the good outweighs the bad, then it's up to you on whether or not you want to let the bad dictate the direction of your relationship. Well, I did this and I had pages, and I mean PAGES of toxic, boundary-trampling behavior that Molly had done to me. Once I realized that our relationship was nothing more than transactional (Molly had exploited me because I had a resource she needed and thus treated me like I was the light of her life), it was like a switch flipped. I hovered between tears and rage for a while but it eventually gave way to indifference. Fortunately, she had moved out of state and I didn't see her or hear from her anymore because it wasn't convenient for her to contact me everyday. She had found new supply elsewhere. Still, I jumped every time I got a notification from her. The whole “what the hell does she want now” reaction. Before experiencing the utter lack of respect she had for me after losing a parent to cancer, I thought there was hope for her. Seeing that Molly didn't care AT ALL that I was grieving and feeling mixture of emotions, because she was right, my father and I did not get along, but it was not her place to say, it showed she had zero empathy for anyone or anything. Not even her children. She had the nerve to say I had been a jerk and mean to everyone because I was displacing my grief over my father. Those she whined to, were understandably aghast that she couldn't even show a drop of sympathy towards me during that trying time period. When it got back to me, naturally, Molly denied ever saying such a thing, but her nervous insistence was a dead giveaway. I told her, she was lucky she wasn't standing in front of me because I would have knocked her lights out. That scared her. I purged my life of every single one of her flying monkeys, blocked all of them on my social media. Fortunately, none of them had my cell phone number. Molly had no awareness whatsoever and never committed anything to memory, unless she could use it later on to manipulate someone for her own gain. She didn't even notice that I had gone no-contact and changed my number until she tried to call me (about five months after the fact) to let me know that a mutual acquaintance had unexpectedly passed away. Never one to not put her incessant need for attention above everyone else (including her own children) or turn everything that happens into a story about herself, Molly demonstrated how deeply unhinged she was/is by tracking down my widow mother's phone number and called her trying to find me. When my mom told me that Molly had called her to inform me that our mutual acquaintance had died then quickly segued into turning his death into a story about her and then tried to get my mom to verbally bash me during one of her infamous bitch sessions, my mom let her have it. A little fact about my mom: she is a German-Jew native New Yorker with a very big mouth. She takes absolutely no crap and makes Judge Judy Sheindlin seem like a cream puff by comparison. My mom was understandably appalled that Molly had so little class to use someone else's death to talk about herself and called my former friend something that rhymes with selfish trucking grunt, told her I blocked her on everything for reasons that were “already well known to her” and to f*ck off. According to Mom, this reduced Molly to tears (“She wailed like a baby!”) and the call was immediately ended. Never one to give up easily (unless it involved obtaining and maintaining employment), Molly went to a mutual friend (someone who I was eventually able to wake up to her toxic ways and also went no-contact with her) and tried to commiserate with him about how she had been disrespected and denied the one thing she wanted the most: my attention. He said that Molly threw a tantrum that would have embarrassed a toddler. She demanded that he block me and cut me off to show solidarity with her. He said she verbally bashed me and tried to make me out to be this horrible person, but she, of course, totally forgot that he had known me long before he had known her and knew all of what she was telling him was false. He refused to do what she demanded of him but she repeatedly bugged him to check my social media to see if I was talking about her. She ORDERED him to spy on my social media to see if I was talking about her. He refused, stating that she wasn't as interesting as she thinks she is. She got offended by that, too. This was the beginning of the end for the two of them as he had never seen her behave like, in his words, such “a crazy b*tch” before. I had seen it many times, but I imagine in my friend's case, seeing a 50+-year-old mother and grandmother throw an absolute hissy fit, because she didn't get her way, must have been quite the unnerving sight. It's been over eight years and I haven't heard from her since. I imagine she thinks about me quite often because I was one of the few who got away and beat her at her own game.
Story 1 - THREE TIMES. You have to do it THREE TIMES. And don't forget to GIGGLE! The giggling is vitally important. While chanting, "It's just a prank!" over and over. GIGGLE! Chant. GIGGLE! Chant. GIGGLE! Chant. Oh, and send him the invoice for the hospital bill, with a lovely little note of, "Pay up or go to Prison for attempted murder. You're old enough to be charged as an adult."
Story 3: I almost wonder if they were like testing her or something? Like “if she can’t handle a little hazing then she isn’t good enough for our son” or something like that. That is legitimately the only vaguely reasonable explanation that I can see for their behavior because really, “pay for your portion of Thanksgiving dinner,” what? 😅
“My wife got upset and took it as I have no regard for Britney,” ah yes, the same way she’s having *0 regards* for Olivia on her *OWN DAMN BIRTHDAY* like I’m CERTAIN she’d be open to having a vanilla cake switched out for chocolate on Britney’s birthday, right?
You know. Story 5 reminds me of a AITA RSlash did a while back, where OP confessed how he felt about a girl to his brother, only for his brother to hook up with and marry her. And I profoundly disagreed with him on that one. Did OP's brother cheat on OP? Not directly. Is it a massive betrayal? Absolutely. I have a brother. If I caught him and my GF sleeping together, I couldn't even get sympathy from my own brother. The people who are saying it isn't healthy to hold a grudge.... that's true for small things, but let me have someone sleep with your SO, then marry them, then have people say "Just forgive and forget, lmao." Sometimes the hate is justified, and worth carrying. This is one of them.
That first story is insanely coincidental. Thursday I had a bronchitis induced asthma attack, I couldn't breathe, and my old inhaler (from the last time I had bronchitis) was empty because it had been a couple of years. So I was at work, red in the face, taking deep breaths but not getting enough oxygen in my lungs. My coworker, thank goodness, had a rescue inhaler on her and gave it to me. When I told one of my managers what had happened they said "oh that was nice of her" and made us go back to work (it was our store's truck day). None of them asked if I was okay, only my fellow coworkers who could see my face was red. I'm okay now and went to the doctor and had my inhaler refilled but that attack and reaction from the managers just shook me up
You're not dead? GET BACK TO WORK! When what you NEED is to go to the hospital for a check-up, and possibly be on low-level oxygen for a few hours, to re-stabilize your condition. Get a new job. Also, consider reporting them to the Department of Labor.
@@AuntLoopy123 and yeah I have been considering reporting them but my boss, the owner, took matters into his own hands and wrote up said manager and reminded him "you need to see the severity in those situations"
The last story: Ngl the daughter needs to understand that that girl was special to op and she proceeded to cheat on him. And forcing them two rivals to go together is a massive nope..it's like bringing a huge rival to a funeral. Ngl if my ex friend, who is a narcissist, comes to my wedding somehow or even my funeral, I'll be pissed out and can and will throw hands automatically.
@@Nyax50Lopez You know I'd welcome that, actually. If your edgy blood-stained horn and maned Unicorn OC with the blood-letting crimson eyes emerged and manifested from my Happy Meal (or however one ascertains an onion-of-fun?) though I do ponder the technicalities of emergence through an edible portal or gateway. So, if I were to (let's say) rend the circumference of the ring you're attempting to transition through, would you only partially reconstitute (depending on how much of you materialised), or would I've inadvertently; consumed you? Perhaps, the arcane-archaic magic; would be merely dispelled as the circle is broken and incomplete, and you would be; exiled to the depths of DeviantArt once again? Are "funyuns" your only means to enter our world?
That 3rd story: so they claim OP's portion of Thanksgiving is $30....so they must have a pretty amazing spread to have spent $120 to feed just 4 people one single meal. And even if that was normal, not warning OP of the exact amount before she agreed to go was a douchebag move by the boyfriend. Even if he thought every family charged he can't expect her to know the amount without a heads up.
And I wouldn't spend $30 on a single meal at a sit down restaurant with professional chefs, certainly no way I am paying that much for some bumbling home cook to under/over season/cook the food.
Story 2: Her: I'm _complimenting_ you Also her: _has a fit and gets offended when Op says it to her_ Yeah she wasn't complimenting him, she was insulting him then lying and framing it as a "compliment" so if he got upset then she could paint him as the bad guy because he "got _mad_ over a _compliment_ 🥺" to anyone willing to listen Story 3: "They already don't like you for not paying" Well then what's the point of Op staying? Story 4: Imagine thinking someone gets to dictate what cake is served for _someone else's_ birthday simply because they personally don't like it. It's my sibling's birthday today, actually, and they _love_ carrot cake. I don't care much for it, it's too sweet for me and I usually get dark chocolate stuff but my sibling hates dark chocolate. Neither of us would be _so_ entitled that we'd demand we have the cake _we_ want on the other's birthday. It's just rude. It's _one_ day, she can suck it up and eat some chocolate cake or don't eat any at all. Edit: "You're showing favoritism!" This coming from the woman who tried to cater one daughter's birthday for the other, and then _refused_ to partake in the party when she didn't get her way. Op isn't showing favoritism, she is towards her bio daughter and she's mad Op won't do the same.
Story 2: She's a narcissist, this is likely what cost her the job in the first place, jobs in fields that niche talk to each other, they definitely called her previous employers and didn't like what they heard. Story 3: This is why he will remain single till the day he dies.
For the third story I have never heard asking guests for money towards the meal. I am Canadian and in my family the host asks everyone coming to bring something small like a desert or a fruit/vegetable tray. Sometimes my mom helps with buying ingredients and brings them.
Story 3: WTF?! Pay as a GUEST?! They weren't at a restaurant, they were invited but only she had to pay? That is the weirdest shizz I've EVER heard and I've been to A LOT of Canadian TG dinners!!
As a Canadian I can say no one has EVER asked me to pay for a meal as a guest. Unless we were like ordering takeout and then we all split it of course. But invited to a home for a family meal? No, no one charges for that. This is INSANE.
Story #1: My husband also has asthma. It's much better controlled now than it once was, but there was a time when hiding his inhaler would have put his life in serious danger and this story gave me chills.
If someone steals my inhaler as a “prank” I’m throwing hands. And by hands I mean cane because I’m a cripple with a walking cane. If they wanna “prank” me where I could die? THEN YOU’RE COMING WITH ME
Canadian here: never heard of charging guests for food. My family and friends do potlucks if we are all short on money, to make it easier for all, but if we invite someone for dinner and they don’t offer to bring an item, we assume we’re making dinner on our own dime.
About the birthday cake story - I always chose to have pineapple in my cake to spite my sister who hated it. It's the birthday girl/boy who decides what the birthday cake tastes, if someone doesn't like it, they can go without.
I glossed over the kid in story #1's age. I think because the thumbnail showed a younger kid I was imagining like... 8-12. HE WAS 16?!?!?!? He was REPEATEDLY hiding LIFE SAVING medicine from his caretaker at 16!??!?! Gone. Out. Done.
Story 4: I would love to know if Britney herself actually even cared. My money's on no because the way things are written, it really sounds like her mom was more invested in this argument than anyone. Or at least I hope that's the case. A girl Britney's age should be able to handle not having a slice of birthday cake if she hates that flavor so much. I mean, we're talking CHOCOLATE here, one of the most common flavors of sweets doled out on festive occasions. She's probably used to taking it in stride by now, and if she isn't that's a problem! Last story: I feel sad for OP. His daughter knew how he felt enough to make sure that he didn't know she was seeing his brother and his family for FOUR YEARS, and tried to use her wedding as a way to force a reconciliation. It's true that, yeah, this will break their relationship forever. But IMO, he's not the one doing the breaking. And it probably hurts him because this will feel like one more thing his brother stole from him. I'm especially pissed at his brother because he HAS to have known how this would affect them. That's a 5/5 butthole score from me right there.
omg, I didn’t even THINK about that! The daughter went behind his back for 4 years in order to set up this elaborate emotional blackmail on a day that she thought OP wouldn’t be able to refuse. That’s just cruel.
This just shows that that wife does not care about the husbands other daughter at all. The thing is that when you marry into kids those kids become yours too. If I were that guy I would be getting a divorce at that point.
The cake story is so weird and stupid. What goes better with cake than ice cream? Get a half gallon of vanilla ice cream to serve with the chocolate cake. If Brittany wants dessert, she can just have ice cream. That's what my parents did when we were kids (the birthday child always got to choose the cake and whatever we were having for dinner, too). As for that last story...I get the distinct impression that if OP's family had acknowledged his pain and validated his feelings in the beginning, he wouldn't be so bitter today.
@@jenniferann7212 about the last story I’d say you hit it right on the money. Had OP’s parents at least kicked the brother to the curb, even if only temporary, because of my kid did that to their sibling then I’d kick them to the curb for a time, then yeah OP probably would at least be able to tolerate his brother for a wedding for his daughter’s sake. But NOOO they told HIM OFF and then his own daughter went behind his back. OP isn’t the jerk but if his gf doesn’t know everything then he should tell her. If he did then what OP’s gf said isn’t mean she just probably wants to see a family become whole again, which I can believe as long as she doesn’t push it past this.
Right. My son absolutely hates hot dogs and won't eat them at all. But when he goes to a birthday party and they're only serving hot dogs, he takes it in stride and just eats other things.
For the birthday story, i think that's absolutely divorce material. If it was me, i would worry everyday about how my spouse treats my child when I'm not around. This time i was there to stand up for her but what if I'm not there?
*First OP:* Would this be considered Conspiracy to Commit Murder? OP is NTA. If OP’s parents are so concerned about their grandson, then _they_ should take him in. I think that’s the loudest and longest “NOOOO!” rSlash let out, lol *Second OP:* OP just returned the same energy to his wife. Maybe his wife will stop doing that after the incident, lol. OP is NTA. I agree with rSlash; OP’s wife told on herself with her reaction. *Third OP:* I … _what?!_ OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* I’m pretty sure this is grounds for divorce. OP is NTA. *Fifth OP:* OP’s daughter has the right to invite whomever she wants at _her_ wedding, and OP has the right not to pay for half the wedding with _his_ money. He also has the right not to attend his daughter’s wedding. OP is NTA. I do hope there’s some resolution so OP _will_ attend his daughter’s wedding. *Get out of my head, rSlash!* 😛
First story: granted what nephew is doing with these so called pranks is beyond stupid, he may be projecting his feelings about his mom’s cancer in a very unhealthy way. I think he could use therapy. Second story: wife doesn’t see her husband as a partner but a person she can beat down. Wonder if her behavior showed in the interview which caused her to not get the job. I strongly feel that she didn’t get the hint when OP gave her her own medicine. Third story: glad OP ran. Fourth story: wife needs therapy and a reality check. Fifth story: I’m going rogue that it seems like OP never got therapy to help move on from the betrayal. I’m not OP but I would pay my part, hope to walk her down the aisle, but make it clear to whomever possible that brother and wife stay away from me.
To make the last story even worse when you think about it, OP's daughter did exactly what her uncle and aunt did to OP. She snuck around behind his back, gaslit him, made his family take his brother's side again, and then waited until he was happiest to crush him with the betrayal.
Last story: since the daughter picked her cheating-enabling uncle over her own father, I think HE should be the one to pay their family's side of the wedding costs.
How was the brother enabling? I get that sleeping with your brother's girlfriend is seriously messed up but it was 26 years ago! OP went on got married, divorced & has another girlfriend since then! Dude needs to get over it.
@@samschellhase8831 "you can't have your cake and eat it too" Choosing 1 is choosing not the other... Her being a brat and POS daughter is her wanting both. Can't have both. Obviously her uncle matters more to her. It must run in their family to have 1 AH per generation, 1 mistreated, and the rest siding with the AHs.
@@RedrumZombies damn dude I agree that’s she can’t have both but you’re reading way too much into this. Like this dude and his wife have been part of the family for years and had kids who are this girls cousins she most likely grew up with. And clearly the rest of the family has no problem with them being here. In the end it’s just justified pettiness.
Lifelong Canadian here and those parents were insane. The only time it's okay to ask your guests to cover a portion is if you all got back from a night out drinking and were splitting for pizza. Or, like, my parents have a lobster party every year and they ask their friends if they all want to pitch in to order fresh lobsters in bulk and then everyone brings a dish and they all cook their lobsters and party and drink... But it's definitely not a surprise charge.
I do it to sometimes but the people i do it with life either with the parents or only visit at my place and allmost never theirs. Also we decide it from the start
In story two, OP is what I would say an "accidental butthole" because he accidentally exposed his wife's true intentions. He's not at fault for trying to comfort his SO.
Yeah. It was unintentional. She TRAINED him that "Sooooo close" was THE THING TO SAY, because that's what she did, EVERY TIME, FOR YEARS, and when he complained, she told him that his feelings were wrong, and that it was good and a compliment, and he should feel better, because she said it. She TAUGHT HIM TO SAY THAT. She has NO leg to stand on, or complain about. However, since she has now outed herself as a PURPOSEFUL ABUSER AND GASLIGHTER, making him think that it is, in fact, the thing to say, and doubting his own sense of "That's not right! It's hurtful!", now he should DIVORCE HER. Also, he should NOT apologize to her for doing it, but demand that SHE apologize to HIM, for the YEARS OF ABUSE. And if she complains, tell her, "You TAUGHT me to do that. And when I followed YOUR TEACHINGS, and did it to you, you PROVED that you KNEW YOU WERE HURTING ME ALL ALONG. Which means that YOU ABUSED ME, and YOU are the one who owes the apology here. In fact, you'd better apologize, if you want to keep this marriage. In fact, apologize, or I will expose you to all your family, friends, acquaintances, and business contacts, as a liar and an abuser. I'll still divorce you, but if you grovel, I MIGHT not expose you."
As a Canadian, that has never happened to me where I had to pay for stuff I’ve eaten. If that was, the amount of debt I would be in from stealing food from my friend’s and family’s houses would be insanely high.
“It’s just a prank!” He’s sixteen. Not six.
“He should keep his things locked up!” ….it’s his inhaler. Not a gun.
Holy shit, OP’s parents suck.
Also, it's OP's house. So they shouldn't have to lock anything up.
Yeah, if the inhaler was locked up and OPs husband had an attack, then it just takes longer for OP to get the inhaler, putting the husband's life at risk. The parents really are the biggest morons smh
Do they even know what asthma is? The husband needs to keep the inhaler with him at all times, not lock it away. Not only they are crappy parents, they are dumb as hell too.
Let OP throw away her sister's cancer meds as a 'prank' and see how they react in that situation.
Not actually throwing it but hold decoy as well and throw the decoy in front of them to somewhere else that is considered as contaminated.
Medication isn't a toy and it's supposed to be easy grab for the ones in need of it
And let's be honest, if they locked up the inhaler the little shit would hide the keys
as a Canadian I can confirm those parents who charged op are crazy
As a human second that
Also Canadian...I was gonna comment the same thing. OP's in-laws are off their rockers charging someone they INVITED for supper
As a being in existence I triple that
As a thing I quadruple that
As someone that was never here, I agree.
For the first story: OP should have pretended as though husband had actually died at the hospital, and sat nephew down: "I have terrible news. Uncle OP died as a result of his inhaler being stolen. The cops are going to be coming soon to investigate everyone in the house. I'm sure they're gonna wanna talk to you because you've done this before. It's not looking good." Then, when kid freaks out: "Haha, don't get so worked up. It was JUST A PRANK, BRO."
Pranking a prankster is just encouragement for escalation. Even if it's intended as a lesson, its actually an endorsement.
That would have been brilliant. Teach the little bastard a lesson. Hell, to take it to the next level, the cops should have slapped the cuffs on him and put him in the squad car, making him think that he was going to jail only to just drive around the block. Lol
r/nuclear revenge
@@DjG7979 I agree. But I also believe in traumatizing children out of bad behavior. I never claimed to be a good person. When my 6 year old son and I were at the mall visiting my daughter at the shoe store where she worked he got bored, cried and walked out of the door and hid around the corner in another store. When I finally found him I sat him down and told him the story about Adam Walsh who was kidnapped from a mall and beheaded. I showed him his photo. I haven't had that problem with him since then and he doesn't seem worse for it.
@@brittanybutts4529 You are weird and I hope you're lying
Story 4 This may not be "divorce" territory but it is "have a private conversation with your daughter to find out if there's anything happening behind your back" territory.
Yeah. She could have just got a 1/2 dozen vanilla cupcakes. Instead of changing the whole cake. Stupid argument. People need to be creative.
@@ThePuppeteerr I think that N LeeM meant in addition to the cake. The cake should be what the birthday girl wants, but if its in the budget, I don't see anything wrong with providing an alternative for the sister or others who might want something else. I imagine that there were probably chips and soda, too. So a few cupcakes wouldn't have been that weird.
@@brittanybutts4529 yeah that's fair, having more options if possible is great, gives everyone the chance to enjoy something a little different if they want.
Still terrible wife needs to be watched over to make sure she's not messing with the child behind the father's back.
@@ABEL-cd2sp Agree 100%!
"Anything happening behind your back", such as?
Story 1: The thing that seals the deal on the nephew being a POS, is him continuing to withhold the inhaler once OP and her husband went to the hospital and laughing about it afterwards. He literally found the concept of his uncle having to go to the hospital funny!?! That's no longer "prankster" territory, that's full blown psycho!
What isn't ever brought up is how much this prank cost them in hospital bills. That isn't going to be cheap.
@@whitedragon153 That only applies in the US...
Not sure about the validity of this one??? I mean, if I needed an inhaler as a matter of 'life and death', I wouldn't want to be wondering around the house looking for it while gasping for breath......would you??? It would be where I could grab it right then, not have to go search the home. Dayummed well surely would be out of my sight. And if that absent-minded, get one of those key ring thingys with the chains and wear it all the time. Or have more that just one inhaler even if I didn't have someone hiding them, supposedly. That just don't add up to me.
@@snafubar5491 Whether or not OP's husband could do a better job of storing his inhaler, is totally irrelevant to the status of her nephew's state of mind.
He found the idea of her husband almost suffocating and having to go to the hospital hilarious! To him, the idea that he had put another human's life in mortal jeopardy, was something to laugh about. It's a source of amusement and accomplishment that he nearly became responsible for the death of another person.
If OP left her car keys on a peg next to the front door and her nephew stole the car, ran over a neighbor and laughed about how funny that was, would you take someone seriously if they said "Well, you can't call the kid a psycho, because his aunt should have kept the keys in her pocket!" or something like that?
@@gregbasore2108......The only irrelevant thing with these stories is the peoples opinions based only on one side. Without all the facts, neither of our opinions matter.
My point is that who in their right mind just leaves their inhaler just laying around somewhere when they say it's needed that badly??? Not commenting on the nephew actions, but the improbability of it being that important and not within arms reach 24/7/365. How is it even left out for nephew to find??? Nope, it's gonna be somewhere on my person so no one can hide it. And just one inhaler??? Doesn't add up to me. I known more than a few folks on inhalers, and the serious cases have more than one, just in case.
Car keys are not an inhaler. Oranges to horseapples. Try again. But let's play that game. If they knew he would take the car keys and just left the keys on the hook, then yes, they are TA. Does the nephew own part of it....yes.....but if he didn't have access to it then no joyride. Just like the inhaler. No access to it, and no hiding it. After the fist time, there would be no second chance. Pretty simple.....no???
Story 2: Her reaction is absolute proof her “so close” comments were NEVER compliments. They were insults. And she knew it. And I feel bad for the husband for being married to her. Especially since he has told her in so many ways to stop because it bothers him but she keeps doing it..heck doubled down on it
Yep. I would contact her, and just when she thinks I'm about to apologize to her, I would demand an apology for EVERY SINGLE TIME she abused me the same way, and if she doesn't GROVEL for my forgiveness, then I'll not only divorce her, but also expose her to her family and friends as the abuser she's always been.
And if she DOES grovel for forgiveness, I'll probably still divorce her, just as a matter of self-preservation. But at least I won't expose her to the world. That's mercy, right?
Yep. I was married to a woman like that, although she didn't do the "so close" thing -- she found other ways to tear me down. Then finally when I began to stand up to her, she divorced me. By then I was so beaten down I doubt I cuold have left her on my own.
@@AuntLoopy123 It's _so close_ to mercy...
If you don’t have children please run away
It’s like she’s treating him like a kindergartener
As an asthmatic who nearly died a few days ago because I couldn't find my inhaler,the first story made me irrationally angry. Literally the first time the kid hid the inhaler I would've kicked him out right then and there. It's literally attempted murder
No! Nope nope! It's not irrational at all!! I don't have asthma and I'm FURIOUS!!!
Glad you’re still with us! 🙏🏼
Anyone with a heart, asthmatic or not, should be pissed. It’s not even irrational, it’s on the same level as hiding the cane of someone who has trouble walking in their own. If something goes terribly wrong, they’re screwed. Not being able to walk (OR BREATHE) if something life-threatening is happening is a death sentence.
*RATIONALLY angry
That’s rational as hell. I don’t even have asthma and I wanted to throttle that asshole.
Glad you’re still with us ❤
As a Canadian I’ve never even HEARD of someone charging a guest that they invited for a meal at their own home, that’s just insane
I have, but it’s usually for poorer families and it’s agreed upon before hand like “hey, could you pitch in 5 bucks for the dinner next week? Moneys a little tight rn”
The only other time I've heard of this was when my older brother was a guest at his girlfriends sisters for Christmas. They didn't ask him beforehand, and he was the only one who was asked to pay.
@@Dondizle Is your brother still dating his girlfriend? What was her reaction to that?
Question: What's Canadian thanksgiving about? Like the US version is about giving thanks for the neighbors (native Americans) and friends and family and the food that is able to be provided by said neighbors, friends and family. If it's the same or similar idea, isn't asking someone to pay the exact opposite of thanksgiving?
@@sleepingkirby Different history, but same principal. It's a celebration of a bountiful harvest season. The Canadian version has it's roots in indiginous culture, pre-dating the arrival of westerners. But in practice, it's pretty much the same thing these days. Both in Canada and the US, many traditions have been blurred together. Nearly every culture has some sort of harvest celebration analogous to Thanksgiving. In northern Europe, it's Wassailing. It's somewhat antiquested and not so much a formal Holiday, but a common tradition celebrating the harvest. In this case, mostly the apple harvest, and getting drunk on cider, but also showing appreciation for friends and neighbors. The Egyptians have had harvest festivals since basically the dawn of time, lol. The Chinese have several harvest festivals, mostly region specific.
Likewise, most cultures have spring celebrations for surving the winter months. In judeo-Chrstian western culture, most of those traditions have been subsumed by Easter or Passover but there are a lot of very similar pegan traditions, all centered around Rebirth or Survival.
Most nations and culture have an equivilant of Independence day. July 4th, Cinco de Mayo, the Jews commerating the exodus, nearly every eastern European country commerates a great victory in battle that defined a nation and people.
Halloween is mirroed by many culture's celebrations in remebmberence of the dead.
I'm sure you've heard about the similarities between Christmas and various pegan solstice celebrations.
Most cultures have an analogue to Valentines day to celebrate love, sex, fertility, etc.
Every holiday is basically a cheap knock-off of something else, and the traditions are fairly interchangable. People universally celebrate:
• Prosperity
• Love
• Commeration of the dead
• Victory in Battle
• Enduring Hardship
• Renewal
• Dedication of faith
• Commemoration of sacrafice
• A tribute to the dutiful
Almost any holdiay in the world tracks back to one of these principles, and the traditions themselves are just a slightly different take on the same overarching principle. None of them are really original, unless you're into som ereally weird shit like animal worship, lol.
As a husband who nearly lost his wife from am asthma attack because my ex friend thought it would be funny one day to hide it from its usual spot, The 16 year old needs to be accountable and OPs parents are just horrible people.
We keep spares in my place now because seeing that event made me realise how bad asthma is and I don't want my wife to go through that again.
I feel lucky my asthma is very mild. It causes allergies, wheezing, and short breaths a lot but I haven't had an attack since I was like seven. My heart aches for those who have it a lot worse.
Omg does she have an inhalator
Fifth story: What I see is that NO ONE IN OP'S FAMILY is on the side of OP. The brother and the ex cheated on him and the rest of the family is just ignoring that and didn't offer support to OP for what I heard, in fact, they actually enabled his pain by ignoring it.
It's even worse when you look at OP's comments. Apparently, after he'd broken up with his ex, he lived with his parents for awhile and his brother would have the ex over and they'd loudly screw in the room next door. No wonder he wants nothing to do with the guy even after a quarter century.
@@akl2k7 That's asking for it.
Meaning the brother is asking for OP to do something to him.
Brother was the favorite is all this screams to me
The more funny thing is that it is technically op and his gf wedding since they are the one paying, just not as the one getting married.
I haven't even started the 1st story yet and I'm really eager to hear the nephew scream "it's just a prank bro" as hes dragged away on an attempted murder charge
**Calls police on Nephew**
Nephew: "B-b-b-but...! It's just a prank bro!!"
Police: "It's just attempted murder....BRO."
Cops: It's just a 3 year prison sentence bro!
Sadly didn't get to that part...
@@dracko158 Cops: So you admit that is what you who did it?
Nephew: *Profuse sweating*
As someone with asthma I can confirm that attacks are painful. Every second is a struggle especially if you have things that can lead to larger triggers of attacks. It can lead to panic which can increase you desire to breathe but you can't cause it's like trying to breath outta crushed straw. I keep both my inhalers on me for emergencies like if it gets so severe I need immediate medical attention so I can say it's here.
I find it absolutely priceless that the wife in the second-to-last story say that birthdays are no excuse to show favoritism, yet she is clearly favoring Britney in that situation
no no, you got it wrong, Olivias birthday is not an excuse to not showing Britney favoritism. /sacrasm
I wonder if Britney is the spoilt brat type, because OP's wife said Britney hates chocolate, but got a vanilla cake with chocolate chunks on top. If Britney's spoilt she'd have a meltdown over having to pick the chocolate off the cake.
I also wonder if OP's wife got her daughter banned from children's birthday parties, because she'd let Britney open presents and blow candles out that wasn't hers.
That one is a rules for thee not for me kind of story
For crying out loud... Have two different smaller cakes on both girl's birthdays. That's how you'll accommodate both on both occasions and show favoritism to both. And quit fighting over something this stupid.
She is clearly showing that she more than likely never liked the kid from the start and has no real feelings towards her. So, what do you think would happen to that daughter if her father died in a car crash? Do you think his wife would even care to raise her? More than likely she would treat her like trash and turn her into Cinderella or Harry Potter having her live in a dingy room with no toys nor new clothes/shoes at any point. Why would you stay married to a she daemon like that?
As a Canadian, I’m appalled by the Thanksgiving dinner story. We are the total opposite up here, it’s insane that someone asked a guest to pay for anything while visiting!
no one thinks canadians would charge for that any more than americans would.
I don't think it's normal in any culture.. except weird aholes if they count
@@margaretjohnson6259 it's so wierd. Even American and Mexican culture for Thanksgiving, we don't even pay. Like yeah we throw a massive party but we don't ask for people to pay up.
I'm thinking it was in the Quebec part; all us Americans know they're the evil twin of Canadians.
I've heard of this before but can't remember where but apparently it is a thing in some cultures. Not Canadians of course, I think it was one particular religious sect, don't remember which. That would also explain the escort to her own room
Story 5: OP told them that if they had an event and the brother was invited that he wouldn't go. And as his daughter one would think shed know more than anyone how her own father feels and to disregard his feelings is low AF. So it sounds to me like a classic 'F**k around and find out' situation. She chose her side, so she can ask her uncle to pay OP's half since theyre so close now.🤷🏾♀️
i agree
Absolutely.
So she's just not allowed to have her mom there
@@adri9974Nobody’s keeping her mom from going. OP (who is the father) is the one who won’t attend if their daughter chooses to die on this hill.
@@adri9974 it never said the cheating ex was the daughters mum??
I’ll be honest I laughed at the reaction of the wife for the so close comment, gotta love when they can’t take what they dish out
Unfortunately, OP can't really laugh about her reaction, since he's on her receiving end... But I agree, she's 100% a hypocrite!
@@LEXXIUSoh, no. He can most definitely laugh. Either she realizes her hypocrisy, or he gets to divorce her with cause. She's spent years condescending him, and gets bent out of shape when he returns it? Nah. Dude needs to serve her papers and move on. That kind of dickish narcissism doesn't get better.
Story 2: I want a divorce, you were soo close to being a good wife.
Was thinking the same. Continue to do something that annoys disregarding your partner when he says he doesn't like it, is toxic behavior.
Right? And she didn't just do this when he was down. She even did this during his high points. She sounds like one of these miserable jack-asses that pull the "I'm just brutally honest and I know better than everyone," but the second they even THINK they're getting a taste of their own medicine, they flip and suddenly they're the victim and playing their own narrative. Ugh my grandmother is this way and it's so freaking narcissistic, ridiculous, and exhausting. What's worse is there is no point trying to talk to them about it because every single time it goes in one ear and out the other.
I had to stop the video, I didn't knew that those prases could be so triggining, it's awful that someone that "loves" you can say that to you, and is "just honesty"... No dear, go treat your control freakness...
"You were soooo close...next time, don't be such a condescending b****"
@@irishgirl25891 Willing to bet that's what cost her the job too.
Birthday cake story- YES, yes we are in divorce territory here. Because I can bet confidently that the step-mom has done a lot of stuff to Olivia that OP doesn't know a out. He needs to take Olivia and have a sit down and ask how she's been treated. I believe it will be a very enlightening conversation.
Hear hear! Anyone who'd treat my kids with that level of disrespect, i can't trust to treat me with respect either, and if thats the case, why stay married?
Yeah, I can see stepmom saying husband should pour a ton of cash into Britney's college costs and then refusing to help with Olivia's. Frankly I can see her thinking Britney should go wherever she wants no matter how expensive then claiming Olivia should should choose the cheapest option because 'we can't afford' it.
That's what I thought too. There are red flags of ongoing emotional abuse by the stepmother all over that story. Staying with someone who is abusing his kid would make OP the butthole.
From the story, it sounds like OP is standing up for his daughter so hopefully he will get them both out of that situation.
No, this is not divorce territory, but definitely a red flag. One that could make OP start seeing other red flags if they exist. If this is the only problem they have had in their marriage, they should consider themselves lucky. However if there are other red flags... yeah, this wouldn't be the sole reason, but the catalyst that started the fire.
Very good point!
Story 1: Tell the 16 year old nephew to pay the hospital bill.
Someone who think stealing an inhaler is a prank, hold their head underwater and see if they still think not being able to breathe is funny.
I have asthma and know what suffocating is.
Considering the last time was serious enough OP's husband had to go to hospital, and the nephew was heard giggling in his room, I can honestly say he knows what he's doing and he's enjoying the power and control he has on someone's life.
It's as if he's been taking the inhaler to see what could happen to OP's husband.
@@Dondizle Which is why I say hold his head underwater and see how he likes it. And make him pay the hospital bill
One time I went to the hospital for a bad asthma attack. I overheard the male receptionist (not a doctor or a nurse) tell the others "Asthma isn't even a medical emergency." Like 🤡 Of course! Not being able to breathe isn't important at all! 😤🥲
@@lariiin21 Did you point that out to the clown receptionist? Or the fact that doctors will treat it like an emergency for a reason
I'm very surprised that the parents didn't charge her rent for staying in their home and do a full pat down after confessing to having Tylenol.
Dude it feels so good to hear NTA on that last story because ive seen it elsewhere and people actually say OP was the AH. Their biggest reason i saw is "it was 20 years ago" without mentioning OP really cared about this girl who cheated on him with his *brother*
Yeah. I hate that "but we're family" BS. I cutoff literally my entire family because of that BS. Sharing DNA doesn't entitle you to infinite amnesty.
That daughter was my least favorite in the story.
As a daughter myself to the best dad in the world, if my uncle (who I also love so much) took my dad’s gf away from him and had a kid with her, there’s no way in the hell I’d want to have even a cordial relationship with them. I’d look at my cousin as the affair baby and never talk to them. I wouldn’t care if it happened 50 or 100 years ago. Family is more than blood, it’s how you treat them, love them, and will do your best to never hurt them. His brother and daughter did the exact opposite and the rest of his family is no better.
The birthday story is a warning sign of emotional abuse. Making a child compromise when you don’t compromise can be abuse.
Honestly true compromise would have been a half chocolate, half vanilla cake but the birthday person shouldn't have to compromise when it's ***THEIR*** birthday
@@majoratwili7312 Plus the half and half wouldn’t have been a true compromise. You know the stepmom would never do the same thing for Olivia on Britney’s birthday. This really would’ve just become a “what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine” situation. The stepmom sucks either way.
Agreed.
Add the blatant favouritism and there are at least two red flags here.
I'm guessing there are other red flags - abusers will abuse - but they were not pertinent to the story so OP didn't included them, or OP wasn't seeing them before - hopefully OP sees them now. The good news is OP is protecting his daughter even to the expense of arguing with the wife so there is hope.
You know OP never said how long they have been married for. I'm thinking not that long otherwise this would have come up before now.
EM is showing the favoritism, and insisting on her choice isn't "compromise". Wife is the clear butthole here.
Story 4: Ironically, the wife WAS playing favorites in this case. She straight up disrespected the Olivia choice of cake flavor and then tries to justify it, calling Olivia selfish.
Also, if it really was a compromise, then the cake would be half and half like most cakes at my town's church. Instead, she decided to go with a full-vanilla with pieces of chocolate. That's not a compromise
Yeah, rslash is correct that the story will change when Britney's birthday comes around. Then stepmom will say Olivia is entitled for expecting Britney to get a chocolate cake. OP's wife needs professional help.
Doing a half/half cake is not really a compromise either, since you know the mom wouldn't do the same thing on her daughter's birthday. She would tell her step-daughter to just suck it up. I'm agreeing with rSlash that this isn't something that should end the marriage, but a serious red flag. One that will probably make OP start noticing other red flags, and things will snowball from there. It's up to both parents to figure out what to do from there, but you know the likely outcome.
Even splitting the cake isn't a compromise, It's Olivia's birthday, she gets to make the choice. Do you really think Britney would split her cake? nope.
Not arguing, just adding,
The compromise in my house (because I always get cheesecake or red velvet, and my brother has autism and will only eat vanilla) is just to get me whatever weird-flavored fancy cake I want, and to get him a 5$ small vanilla cake from the grocery store.
For the story specifically, they could've even ordered a vanilla cupcake or something.
Yeah, I think a better option Is to get two smaller cakes
For the 3rd story, if they'd gone out to eat it'd be pretty reasonable to ask op to pay for her portion, but charging for a home cooked Thanksgiving meal is just. Insane. Especially without making it clear beforehand that they'd have to pay
On top of that why didn't the boyfriend worn or inform his girlfriend about that ahead of time?
@@whitedragon153 on top of that why 30$ is OP buying the turkey while his family pays for sides? He even said it would be rude to ask a guest to pay when he was at his gf house how does he not see the irony there?
I can't see this relationship lasting much longer.
@@asmith8692 With any luck. She should break up with him posthaste. Can you imagine having those people as inlaws? You'd have to bring your credit card every time they invited you over, or at least ask the price list before you accept their invitation.
@@Playingwithproxies $30 is pretty expensive for a Thanksgiving dinner, even in Canadian dollars.
Story 1: ER visits are NOT cheap. Not only are you justified for kicking him out, but also billing his mother (or their parents) for the visit.
Its kinda funny. The wedding story reminds me of the last wedding story rSlash covered. The one where the dad wasn't asked to walk his daughter down the aisle because she instead chose her step dad, the guy her mom cheated on her dad with
So close lol. She asked both her dad and her step-dad to walk her down the aisle together as her step dad helped raise her for half her childhood so he was like a second father to her that in no way did she try to replace her dad with.
@@mariposa9506 So close lol. She asked her dad to walk her down the aisle with a cheating skank who ruined his dad’s life and their entire family. So close though lol.
Not sure if it was the same story, but there was one that started like that and the dad cut his daughter out of his life, and the daughter spended YEARS trying to re-conect with her dad but he never talked with her again, not even as he was dying of canced, and the daughter realized after his death the real magnitude of her actions
@@mariposa9506 you're far from the truth. The daughter chose the cheating
ex best friend and her mother over a father who spoiled her for years. On top of that bombarding him last minute with the fact that he was expected to walk his daughter down the aisle with that piece of shit. Please for the love of God don't twist the narrative as you please.
@@KanaidBlack again, twisting the truth doesn't help anyone. She literally cut him off in every way shape and form and constantly disrespected his feelings. The father was willing to go so far as to give her a blank check for the wedding. She gave him last minute notice that the ex best friend who cheated with his ex wife was walking down the aisle alongside him and his daughter. The disrespect caused him to cut off his daughter finally.
The Canadian Thanksgiving story: NO. We don’t ask people to pay for their portion of a meal when at each other’s houses. 😆
Canadian here. Never once have I heard of anyone charging someone for thanksgiving 😬
Same here
Same, they sound like complete assholes.
Never paid anyone for food at thanksgiving ether
Yeah, it's weird enough that the parents are charging a guest. I think it's even more bizarre that the BF didn't bother to mention it and didn't offer to pay it on her behalf. He must have realized only his family does this crazy thing.
Same I have no clue what that family is going on about
I loved it whe Rslash screamed 'NOOO' after the first story. I agree, I'm sick of these entilted families too that I would start screaming after reading one.
Also for story 2, I don't want to say split up but It sounds like the wife enjoys putting her husband down but instantly gets angry when the uno reverse card is played on her, it sounds like he's unhappy and should maybe leave but i might be reading too much into it.
I don't think so. It sounds like emotional abuse to me. It reminds me of my past where there was someone in my childhood who in certain situations where he was already threatening he always knew how to hit the string that would hurt you most and choose to hurt you with it. And he didn't necessarily have control of himself (it's no excuse and still abuse but there were medical reasons for it that were undiagnosed at the time). This wife is just enjoying the powerplay and seems to have a properly functional brain so no clear medical stuff going on (that we know of). Regardless, if there was stuff like that going on it's still emotional abuse. And she's gaslighting him by telling him his feelings about her words are, in fact, wrong because the insult is supposedly a compliment and he's supposed to take it that way. We all know it's not, because if it was she would've apologized and stopped as soon as husband mentioned his discomfort.
Just because this is bully behaviour doesn't make it less abusive. Bullying is abuse. She deserved what she got and he has to get out of there. He can go, I couldn't.
I just wonder if this was going on before they were married or if it started after they tied the knot.
My nephew is going to be 12 next month and he would know that's a bad and stupid thing to do
Story two is all about power play from the wife's part.
Story 4: "Brittany's always watching". Wife then refuses to celebrate her step-daughters birthday as OP bought her a chocolate cake - isn't she watching too?
1:45 I can feel RSlash's sanity slowly leaving him with each Parent story like this
Same. My man cant handle keeping it in him to not raise his voice after so many frustrating stories
That cake story is the craziest example of projection I've ever seen. Everything she said was exactly true about herself and not the OP. Crazy
As a Canadian those parents are insane. Who asks that of a guest.
greedy jerks is who. i feel sorry for the boyfriend, they probably are controlling narcissists.
@@abiean222 that was my first thought.
I thought Canadians we’re friendly
@@jessicaconner1242 most of us are lmao
@@jessicaconner1242 some are, some aren't.
Let's see the nephew hide the parents' prescription medicine and see if they'll react the same way
Right! If the grandparents care about their " precious nephew " then they can take him in, and enjoy his " pranks ". I'm sure they wouldn't mind him hiding their important, life-saving medicines, right? " It's just a prank! "
My inky thing is...did they actually sit him bdown and educate him on the danger of what he did? He's 16. He may not have a full understanding of how dangerous what he did was. OP doesn't make it clear whether they've actually done that and if they haven't, they need to.
He may understand that it's medicine that dude needs and he absolutely doesnt grt a pass because of what I'm saying, but he may not fully understand how deadly what he is doing is and how much time is of the essence.
@@Mewse1203 at literally 8 YEARS OLD i knew my cousin NEEDED his inhaler or something bad could/would happen, so don’t use age as an excuse for this. the nephew is just mean spirited
@@Mewse1203 dude 16 is old enough to start driving and get a job in most places I’m pretty sure most 16 year olds at least have the maturity to understand life saving medicine.
@@ki8079 your nephew knew because you taught him....
Story 1: I feel the same way as Rslash because the parents are like “How dare you stop supporting him, so that we have to support him!!!”. Seriously, people these days would rather get pissed at you for trying your best instead of them actually f***ing doing it themselves.
It makes me wonder what lies the nephew utilised to manipulate them. Would they be so tolerant, had he stolen his cancer ridden mother's critical medication‽
1st story. 100% agree with Rslash. Why doesn't the parents take him in if they want to be so supportive. That kid and OPs parents both need a reality check. Being "supportive" doesn't mean "allow you to risk my life and make me go to the hospital because you think it's funny". Screw all of them.
The fact that dude said that to his wife as an accident through conditioning makes it so much more hilarious.
Yep. This is a good example of gaslighting. She had him so confused about his own feelings and what is right and wrong, teaching him that his feelings were wrong, and that it REALLY WAS a kind and comforting thing to say, so he said it, when he MEANT to be kind and comforting, BECAUSE SHE TAUGHT HIM TO.
I love it.
I also hope that he forces her to grovel for forgiveness for all the years of abuse and gaslighting. I'd LOVE to see her exposed, with her name, on the internet, for all her family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances and business associates to see.
I do NOT approve of abuse, can you tell?
Do you realize that the nephew‘s mother is sick and her recovery might be critically dependent ON HER MEDICATION? This makes it so much worse because he should know way better.
They should've told him that too. Something to wake him up like, "What if I held your mother's cancer medication until she started to panic and cry, and then showed up with it, laughing. Does that even SOUND like a prank, kid?" Lol
Ugh, that birthday story.
Compromise would be getting a half-vanilla, half-chocolate cake. Or just getting two cakes (which is actually normal if you have people coming to your party allergic to chocolate or something).
Ignoring the BIRTHDAY GIRL'S preferences and accommodating one SINGLE guest is NOT compromise! It's not an "everyone's happy" scenario if the birthday girl's not happy on her own birthday! If the sister doesn't want the cake, the mom can set aside some small alternative dessert for her.
Also the "birthdays are no excuse to show favouritism" line, when the only single day of the year is literally all about the birthday-person...
They also could’ve gotten vanilla and chocolate cupcakes best of both worlds
Story 2: My wife used to have a phrase that I found demeaning. I told her a few times, "Don't talk to me like I'm a child." Interestingly it didn't stop because I asked her to, she stopped when I used it on her a few times and she realized what it feels like to be talked to that way.
Haha the Canadian parent story reminded me of going out to lunch with my now husband's parents. We're in the US. We had been long distance dating for several months. He had gotten into a tricky place financially because his roommate who was his brother messed up his knee and was unable to work. I had regularly been sending grocery giftcards because I knew things were really tight. Keep in mind, I made half again what he made. At lunch with his parents at a cheap but tasty burger joint, he paid for my less than $5 burger. His mom lost her damn mind and decided I was a gold digger 😂.
Second story should really bring it home that "It was a compliment! You always say it is one! why are you angry about a compliment?" and watch her either squirm in trying to find an excuse or having to shut up because her own logic hit her in the face.
1. You know what's also a really funny prank? Taking the parents to a retirement home and never visiting.
Haha! Or take in the little monster and just laugh when he hides their heart medication!
thanks for making me laugh out loud today
Nah, this is simply reality for more than half.
As a Canadian, I can assure you that I’ve never had to pay my half of a meal as a guest. Where this comes from is beyond me. I doubt these people have many friends
As an astmatic with chronic sinus disease with polyps, If someone hid my nedulizer or inhaler they would be hiding almost $292 worth of medicine and equipment that i use daily. And i could, idk, die without that. I didnt even factor in my pills.
He shouldn’t have to lock his things away in his own house..
First story: That kid is a budding sadist. He hid the inhaler on multiple occasions. Even if he did not realize the importance the first time he did it, he certainly should have understood it after that.
"It was just a prank, bro" is a lousy inscription for a tombstone.
He was 16. He knew.
Those boyfriend's parents were either intentionally sabotaging the relationship between him and OP, or they're control freaks (the escorting back to the room strongly suggests it's the latter). Either way, they're mega toxic and OP did the right thing by getting out of there.
I have a feeling it's both! Control freaks with the whole money and drugs thing and escorting them back to their room. And on top of it probably something along the line, "No one's ever going to be good enough for my boy!"
Second story: 100% NTA. As you said, the wife "outed" herself. She's been insulting him for YEARS. Also, I believe him that he just blurted it given it's been the background noise of his life for ages.
Yep. She's been abusing him, and then "gaslighting" him, whenever he complained or gently asked her to stop it, because it hurts him, by saying, "But, it's a compliment!" After years, it makes sense that he would internalize it as THE THING TO SAY whenever someone is hurt. After all, that is the condolence HE always gets from her, and she SAYS it's a compliment, and that she's saying it for his own good, and to make him feel better, so the Golden Rule applies, right? Do unto others as they have proven that they prefer to do unto you. She says it's GOOD and it's a COMPLIMENT, and it's SOOTHING, and so obviously that's the VERY thing she'll want to hear, herself, right?
It makes SENSE. I mean, it's the perfect revenge, and now she's outed herself as an abuser, who has been lying to him for ages, and hurting him ON PURPOSE for ages, KNOWING THAT IT HURTS HIM, not only because it hurt her, but because HE TOLD HER THAT IT HURTS HIM AND ASKED HER TO STOP. She's been PURPOSEFULLY HURTING HIM FOR DECADES, and when he does it to her, SHE IS HURT. And she makes no bones about SHOWING that she is hurt. But after she did it to him so many times, she TRAINED him to do it, and so she can't blame anyone but herself.
Honestly, now that she has proved that she was hurting him ON PURPOSE, I'd divorce her butt, ASAP.
I WOULD, however, give her a message: "Apologize to me. You have pulled this crap over and over and over and over for YEARS. I told you, over and over and over and over FOR YEARS that it hurt me, and I asked you nicely, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER FOR YEARS to STOP DOING IT. You responded, that, 'oh, no! It's a compliment!' and that I had no right to feel hurt or complain, because you were saying it to soothe me. You LIED to me FOR YEARS, telling me that the thing you said, on purpose to hurt me, was actually a soothing compliment. And I LEARNED that it was a soothing compmliment, and the thing to say when someone was hurting. But when I said it to you, legitimately trying to comfort you with YOUR VERY OWN 'COMPLIMENT,' you outed yourself as a liar and an abuser, who has been ABUSING ME FOR YEARS, ON PURPOSE, and DESPITE MY PLEAS TO STOP. So, no, I will not apologize for hurting you this once. Instead, I DEMAND that you apologize to me. You must BEG me for forgiveness, because if you don't, then I WILL divorce you. You have X hours to come CRAWLING ON YOUR KNEES to apologize for the YEARS OF ABUSE YOU KNOWINGLY PILED ON ME. Otherwise, I'll leave you, AND I will expose you to all your friends and family. Because you ABUSED ME. I am NAMING it and OWNING it, and this IS my hill to die on. You won't lie to me, anymore. You outed yourself, when you responded with pain, when I comforted you the same way you've always "comforted" me. So, you ALWAYS KNEW HOW MUCH IT HURT. And I find you absolutely disgusting, because of it. I'm not sure I can forgive you, even if you DO come crawling on your knees begging for forgiveness, but I AM sure that I CANNOT forgive you without it, you LYING ABUSIVE ASSHOLE!"
Honestly, this is absolutely infuriating, and I WOULD divorce over it.
Even if we give her the benefit of the doubt on believingits a compliment, solely to play Devil's Advocate, she's still the one in the wrong for not stopping when asked and for trying to defend her wounded pride, calling her husband awful things when she "realizes" how much that hurts to be told.
12:10 She gets upset that one the vanilla loving girl gets left out, yet doesn't care that the chocolate loving girl gets left out, on her birthday? way to have a golden child / favourite
Story 1) He literally threatened your husband's life by withholding his inhaler. He was told twice by this point (at the very least) to stop doing that, it wasn't funny the first time and it wasn't funny now. If his grandparents want to coddle him, then they can take him in. See how funny his 'pranks' are when they can't find medications important to their health because 'it's just a prank'. OP gets 0 points, the nephew gets 5 points for almost killing a guy for a practical joke, knowing full well what could happen. The grandparents get 4 points for defending him.
Story 2) So it's ok when she belittles you with that condescending phrase, but the moment you hit her back with it; intentionally or not, suddenly you're the 'huge jerk'? No, that's not how this works. If you don't want to be given a taste of your own medicine, then stop forcing it down everyone else's throats. OP gets 0 points, the wife gets 3.5 points. What a child.
Story 3) The long and short of all of this is that the parents are stingy and they don't trust you. They ask *guests* to pay for ingredients they were *offered* to ingest? That's like buying someone a Christmas gift and saying 'here's your gift, you owe me $(x), thank you!'. And it's blatantly obvious they don't trust you, they made that obvious when they outright asked you if you had any drugs, and then further cemented that distrust when she escorted you to your room. Not the asshole, your boyfriend's parents are fucking weird.
Story 4) So, a 'birthday is no excuse for a child to be shown favoritism', so it's only ok if Britney is shown clear favoritism but not Olivia? It's Olivia's birthday, she is supposed to have *some* favoritism shown. The perfect compromise would have been to get a 50/50 cake, my father got one for his 50th birthday, half was chocolate, half was vanilla. Everyone was happy because everyone got what they wanted. Your wife has no intentions of compromising, it's either Britney's way or no way. Honestly, I'd lay down the law or kick her to the curb, this won't be the last disagreement of this magnitude, I can promise you that. OP gets 0 points. Also, rSlash, I heavily disagree with your take on it not being divorce territory. His wife went *behind* his back to make changes to suit her daughter more. Makes me wonder where else she does this.
Story 5) Yeah, I have to say this was a major dick move on the daughter's part. I get it, she can have a relationship with her uncle, there's no denying that, but you have to respect someone's boundaries when they clearly state they do not want to be around said person. Not the asshole, boundaries were crossed, she's a big girl, she can either woman up and accept that you can't have your cake and eat it too, or just let go of what's causing the issue.
1st story I have a very good way of helping the kid. Beat his ass bright red and tell him it was just a prank.
Story 3, its so obvious that they dont trust her. Who asks their probably future daughter in law if they have drugs? Its like a very straight-forward 'fuck you'. The boyfriend probs thinks this is normal bc duh thats his parents, thats what he has been taught. The bf needs a wake-up slap and the bf's parents need harsh slaps.
I missed it, is the wife of the uncle her mother?
The dads a grown man he can Go and choose not to be near the two problem solved ya it sucks they hurt him but. this is hurting the daughter the same way if not more for the daughter oh you won’t come cause of something that happened a long time ago? How about go with your new gf and show how much happier u are than bro and ex
@@LaeLiHeart classic victim blaming
First Story, NTA: As someone who use to have asthma I know how serious having an inhaler is. What OP's nephew is doing is extremely dangerous and could cause OP's husband to die. He is a danger to OP's husband and has to go. What is OP's parents saying?! Why can’t they take him? Why does OP's husband have to lock their stuff up because the nephew is pulling these dangerous "pranks", hell OP can’t lock up an inhaler
Second Story, NTA: Sound condescending? OP's wife IS being condescending. I honestly would’ve done the exact same thing. She is just mad because it was dished out to her. OP deserves no butthole score, she does the exact same thing to OP everytime
Third Story, NTA: Immediately asking someone if they had drugs was a major red flag honestly. OP's boyfriend's parents are weird. All of this is weird honestly. I agree rSlash, it would’ve been right if he paid but he just let all of this happen
Fourth Story, NTA: Bro today is Oliva's birthday, she should be able to enjoy HER birthday. OP's wife is teaching Brittney to be entitled. I find it ironic how she is saying OP is playing favorites when she is trying to do the same thing
Fifth Story, NTA: Those are reasonable boundaries honestly. OP has been crushed and hurt by his brother's betrayal. OP has no obligation to pay for the wedding. She made the choices and has to suffer the concequences
how did you watch it that fast
Bruh it's not even a prank. It's just being down right cruel. If it's a prank everyone laughs at it.
@@rraaiin I keep refreshing until it appears in seconds
its just a prank bro, but for real that’s not cool
The whole drugs thing in the third story might not have been a red flag if they were still kids/teens and they were having a sleepover, which also would've made the sleeping in different rooms thing make more sense. But they're adults, you shouldn't instantly question whether adults have drugs, it should just be assumed they don't. Especially since they had to fly to get there.
The birthday cake story - OP’s wife had the nerve to call HIM controlling when she’s the one who didn’t take no for an answer and went behind his back to make changes to the order. Then went ahead and picked it up herself so that she could put him in a situation where he had no other choice but to accept this new cake. THAT’S controlling. Thankfully, the bakery could accommodate.
"Birthdays are no excuse for favoritism". The F a Birthday party is for that person, the party is literally about them! If learning to compromise is so important do it on her daughter's birthday! Honestly op needs a divorce asap if she's starting fights over cake that her daughter isn't allergic to.
Haven't they ever heard of cupcakes? What a stupid thing to fight over. Yes, very ironically, her calling her husband controlling when he maintained reasonable boundaries and she changed the order. Can't believe she'd disrespect her husband so much. Yep, the marriage is in trouble.
@@nleem3361 I was thinking that or a half-and/half chocolate and vanilla. I have seen that done.
Story 1: Next time, push the nephew down the stairs, then laugh at him and say, "it's just a prank, bro".
@JayOP doing a little bit of trolling
I like the way that you think sir! Nice!
Next time, come home without your partner but with police officers saying that he died and they are there to investigate and when he's terrified, laugh at him and say "it's just a prank, bro."
Come into the room at night screaming "Hey Bart want to see my chainsaw and hockey mask!"
"They even blamed my husband for not keeping his things locked away."
Ah yes, because locking your inhaler away so it's more difficult to get to in case of an emergency is such a smart move.
I like how for story 4 Rslash said “it’s not divorce territory” but we all know if she were to die on that hill and divorce op, there would be nothing lost there
“You’re so unsupportive! It was just a prank! Cmon he’s just a little guy!”
The husband, suffocating in the corner: “Am I a joke to you?”
The grandparents: "Yes, yes you are."
The husband: coughing and dying in the corner
@@black1917 Also The Grandparents: "We liked the last guy more".
If the wife in the birthday story ACTUALLY wanted a compromise, she would've requested half vanilla, half chocolate. Or even better, just added vanilla cupcakes to the order because the cake should be for the birthday person. That way, both girls get something they like.
Things that are okay to hide as a prank would be like... the salt shaker, or something similarly mundane and trivial. And only as a one-off. People who mess with medical necessities are the worst.
tbh with the last story, unless the groom knows the full story, he's probably gonna cancel the engagement if he finds out. I know that if whoever I was marrying was inviting their uncle to the wedding when they know their dad hates their uncle, I would tell them that the wedding is off, cause you clearly don't care enough about your dad's emotions to let him decide if/when he wants to fix things with his brother instead of trying to force him to.
Some people honestly don't care unless it happens to them
I can't help but agree with you. Inviting people my fiancee knew built their lives on infidelity would speak enough about her character that she doesn't consider infidelity to be a serious issue and would likely have no problem committing it herself. That wedding would be cancelled.
For the prank one, OP should have called the house from the hospital and said his uncle just died because he couldn’t find his inhaler. Also, he needs to pack his things and stay with grandma because OP can’t afford to look after him any more. After he melts down say “Just a prank bro, but you’re grounded for a month anyway”.
Ugh - the second story, about "soooo close" wife, really hit home. I grew up with a parent who always "helped" me with chores/homework/art/etc by saying, "That's good, but if you [do it my way] it would be better." My entire childhood. Any wonder I feel less-than now, like I never did and never will measure up? OP is NTA.
Story 3: They asked about the drugs because they think people on drugs steal. They did not want you to steal anything from their house. Charging a guest for a meal at your home is so messed up. They have a big house because they are cheap AF when it comes to other people but not themselves. OP needs to pay attention to the boyfriend and see if he does the same crap. If so, run!
I have severe asthma and there have been many times I've either triggered an asthma attack or worsened one because i panicked when I'd realize i cant find my inhaler. The nephew in the 1st story definitely could've killed him
First story: Yeah, I'd be putting it back on the grandparents asking if it's okay for husband to die struggling to breathe and have nephew charged with possible murder "because it's a prank". I hate people who mess with other people's medical devices.
In story #2 “you were so close” being used so often and for so long to OP actually could cause a conditioning of sorts. So when when OPs wife found out she didn’t get the job the first words that would come up is “you were so close” because that’s the condition his wife set for the phrase.
The fourth story: OP is absolutely NOT the butthole. The fact that his wife is saying that Olivia needs to compromise on her birthday so her stepsister doesn't feel left out just reeks of control issues. I would go as far as to say OP's wife is a narcissist. It becomes more obvious when she accuses Olivia of being selfish and entitled for having her way on her own birthday. Just typing that out my head is starting to hurt. You know very well, that if the shoe were on the other foot, Brittany would not have to compromise or share with Olivia because it's HER birthday. As for why OP's wife is picking this hill to die on, it's clear that she's not used to not getting her way and treats anyone who doesn't bow down to her like they're being purposely mean to her. I smell a trial separation and eventual divorce in the future.
op needs to ditch the wife whos abusing his daughter
Bro reading these types of stories make me happy for the people and parents i have in my life. 😶
by the way the story is written, it sounds like neither daughters are fully both parents' biological children. Shes literally being the evil stepmother trope
As a Canadian that has lived in many provinces and one territory and has visited pretty much every other province; I’ve never once been asked to pay for my food as a guest at someone’s house.
Story 3: as a Canadian i have never ever heard of asking for money for food as a guest
In that first story, OP said that her nephew gave the inhaler back when her husband started panicking, (already pretty screwed up behavior there) but the third time he waited until after they went to the hospital to give it back. That is escalation. If they let this kid back in. He is only going to get worse. He needs consequences and to learn that this kind of behavior is unacceptable or it is only a matter of time before one of his "pranks" actually does kill someone.
the solution to the cake conundrum if she really wanted a compromise was to get cupcakes that are vanilla and chocolate or get a main chocolate cake and Britney gets a single serving slice or mini cake of vanilla
Story 5: Man... it's tragic when the same entities that destroyed what trust you had in your family return once again to destroy the last of it through your own daughter.
I understand the anger, but man it was 26 years ago. Why would you hold on that anger for so long and damage your entire family with it? He got married, got a daughter, divorced and got a new girlfriend in the meantime. Why can’t you put your feelings aside for 1 day in order to please your daughter? He’s completely in his own right to do with his time and money as he pleases but he’s got to understand that he destroys his relationships with his family by acting this way
@@EremittV finally, someone questions it. Why let that anger influence your relationships for so long to the point that you create a sever with the one most important person in the world to you-your child? Like, yes, the fact that OP’s brother cheated is bad, it’s inexcusable. But at the same time, she was just a girlfriend (not a wife / spouse), and it was over two and a half decades ago. OP can do what he wants with his relationships, but the same rule that rSlash put to the daughter applies to OP too; you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. You can’t expect your daughter to be happy with you when you’re literally missing her wedding over a rivalry that happened 26 years ago over some girl.
@@specs7073 Thank god I found this thread. I thought I was taking crazy pills for a second. Like, why tf are you going so far over this long past rivalry to ruin a relationship with your own daughter. Dude needs help.
@@EremittV Agree completely. Hoiding a grudge for 1/4 of a century is not healthy.
Hell, even France and Germany were friends 20 years after WW2 (and WW2 happened because they held grudges for WW1)
@@EremittV THANK YOU. My goodness, these are toxic levels of grudge holding.
Story 1: Dangle the kid from a rope around the neck and when he's blue in the face, let him go and tell him it was "just a prank~"
Story 2: Not sure if that sounds like a healthy marriage in the first place... having said that, nicely done my man! Well played
Story 3: Boyfriend's family is weird asf. NTA
Story 4: If she'd swapped to a neutral cake, eh, annoying but something you can still resolve. But a VANILLA cake? Wife is definitely an AH.
Story 5: I have this relationship with my sister. We're dead to each other and my whole family knows this. Whenever we go to family functions, I need to be told ahead if she's going to be there, and if there's too few people, she and I will likely run into each other, in which case I just don't go at all. I've arrived at family functions, looked around the room, seen my sister and two other distant family and just left. Family tell me I need to "get over it" and that "she's family" but in my book, "Family" isn't a Get Out of Jail Free Card. You cross my boundaries, family or not, you're out. Anyone who can't respect that is also out. Better to spend your life surrounded by one or two people who truly care about you than dozens/hundreds of people who wouldn't care if you died.
Just get the birthday cake that birthday kid wants and maybe a second small cake, a pie or some pastries with different flavour. It's really not hard -.-.
props to you for sticking to your boundaries about your sister
As for your comment on story number four, I totally agree. Allow me to share a story with you regarding how I was not good at laying down boundaries and what it led to. I had a friend (or at least someone I thought was a friend), who I'll call “Molly.” I thought of her as the older sister I never had. At first glance, I thought she truly was a kindred spirit that would be in my life for an extended period of time. When I met Molly, I was a naive early 20-something with very little life experience. She was in her early forties with two small children, and in a seemingly unhappy marriage and on an extended “sabbatical” from her job (code for she was lazy, unemployed and believed she was “too good” to work a regular job). Because I used to let my empathy override my brain, I helped her out when she needed money. It turned into a lot of give with no reciprocation. Molly rarely ever paid me back. When I pressed her to remit what she owed me, the mask slipped. What I saw was horrifying: an insecure, spiteful, hateful, cruel, overbearing middle school mean girl trapped in a middle-aged woman's body. It was at that point that she started meddling in my life and trash-talking me (smear campaign) to anyone who would listen, specifically her flying monkeys. Social media was still new at the time and they were all on my friends list. She used them to spy on me because she was dead convinced I was talking about her. I couldn't understand that because, while I thought she was a cool person, until the conflict started, I didn't think she was that interesting. I made the mistake of telling her that. The stage-four meltdown that ensued because of my blunt response is still something I remember and this is more than 17 years later. When I called her out on gossiping about me, she became immediately defensive. It was always a case of “miscommunication” or a “misunderstanding.” Even then, I noticed something about her just didn't add up. When I asked her something along the lines of: “Why is it everyone else always has you ’all wrong’ or they're the ones who are misunderstanding you or they are the ones misconstruing things? Everybody can't be that dumb,” she went off and hung up on me. Little did I know, during the time period that I was spared of her emotional tirade, she was trash-talking me, depicting me as mean and describing me in extremely hurtful expletive-filled ways solely because I had challenged her narrative, because I dared call her out. I wasn't trying to be malicious, I simply had asked a question and she couldn't handle that I had apparently hit the nail right on the head. It's also worth pointing out, she had to go and do what I call the reverse version of the smear campaign: damage control. She immediately felt guilty because she knew that the more people she trash-talked me to, the possibility of them getting to me and relaying what she had said, had gone significantly up. It's worth pointing out, all of her supply including several of her flying monkeys knew what a high maintenance pain in the butt she was. This is where I started to find out that she was not as nice as she seemed. She actually had the nerve to say to my face, “if I can say it behind your back I can say it to your face.” I shot her down stating that she never said anything to my face. Of course, this led to a fight and more character assassinations against me. The number of atrocities Molly committed against me, include, but are not limited to and in no particular order, are: as stated, borrowing gobs of money from me that she had no intention of ever returning, spreading an entirely false rumor that I had caught an STI from a one-night stand, outing me to my estranged extremely conservative homophobic Italian Roman Catholic father (my father and I already had a rocky relationship, but what she did widened an already irreparable rift which led to him disowning me), had the nerve to try and turn the day my father died into one of her spotlight performances and when I shut her down, she had the audacity to say, and I quote, “Well, you two never got along anyway“ and, weeks later, she pretended she didn't trample all over my grieving process and not so subtly asked (demanded) I share my non-existent inheritance with her because she had lost yet another job due to poor attendance. Why? Because: “we're friendssssss!” I told her in no uncertain terms that friends don't treat people the way she treated me. She pouted and ended the call.
Given these examples, I had learned of an exercise that psychiatrist's have their patients do: take a piece of paper and write down in one column, the good about the person in question and in the other side column, the bad. If the bad outweighs the good, that's when you need to come up with a plan. If the good outweighs the bad, then it's up to you on whether or not you want to let the bad dictate the direction of your relationship.
Well, I did this and I had pages, and I mean PAGES of toxic, boundary-trampling behavior that Molly had done to me. Once I realized that our relationship was nothing more than transactional (Molly had exploited me because I had a resource she needed and thus treated me like I was the light of her life), it was like a switch flipped. I hovered between tears and rage for a while but it eventually gave way to indifference. Fortunately, she had moved out of state and I didn't see her or hear from her anymore because it wasn't convenient for her to contact me everyday. She had found new supply elsewhere. Still, I jumped every time I got a notification from her. The whole “what the hell does she want now” reaction. Before experiencing the utter lack of respect she had for me after losing a parent to cancer, I thought there was hope for her. Seeing that Molly didn't care AT ALL that I was grieving and feeling mixture of emotions, because she was right, my father and I did not get along, but it was not her place to say, it showed she had zero empathy for anyone or anything. Not even her children. She had the nerve to say I had been a jerk and mean to everyone because I was displacing my grief over my father. Those she whined to, were understandably aghast that she couldn't even show a drop of sympathy towards me during that trying time period. When it got back to me, naturally, Molly denied ever saying such a thing, but her nervous insistence was a dead giveaway. I told her, she was lucky she wasn't standing in front of me because I would have knocked her lights out. That scared her.
I purged my life of every single one of her flying monkeys, blocked all of them on my social media. Fortunately, none of them had my cell phone number. Molly had no awareness whatsoever and never committed anything to memory, unless she could use it later on to manipulate someone for her own gain. She didn't even notice that I had gone no-contact and changed my number until she tried to call me (about five months after the fact) to let me know that a mutual acquaintance had unexpectedly passed away. Never one to not put her incessant need for attention above everyone else (including her own children) or turn everything that happens into a story about herself, Molly demonstrated how deeply unhinged she was/is by tracking down my widow mother's phone number and called her trying to find me. When my mom told me that Molly had called her to inform me that our mutual acquaintance had died then quickly segued into turning his death into a story about her and then tried to get my mom to verbally bash me during one of her infamous bitch sessions, my mom let her have it. A little fact about my mom: she is a German-Jew native New Yorker with a very big mouth. She takes absolutely no crap and makes Judge Judy Sheindlin seem like a cream puff by comparison.
My mom was understandably appalled that Molly had so little class to use someone else's death to talk about herself and called my former friend something that rhymes with selfish trucking grunt, told her I blocked her on everything for reasons that were “already well known to her” and to f*ck off. According to Mom, this reduced Molly to tears (“She wailed like a baby!”) and the call was immediately ended.
Never one to give up easily (unless it involved obtaining and maintaining employment), Molly went to a mutual friend (someone who I was eventually able to wake up to her toxic ways and also went no-contact with her) and tried to commiserate with him about how she had been disrespected and denied the one thing she wanted the most: my attention. He said that Molly threw a tantrum that would have embarrassed a toddler. She demanded that he block me and cut me off to show solidarity with her. He said she verbally bashed me and tried to make me out to be this horrible person, but she, of course, totally forgot that he had known me long before he had known her and knew all of what she was telling him was false. He refused to do what she demanded of him but she repeatedly bugged him to check my social media to see if I was talking about her. She ORDERED him to spy on my social media to see if I was talking about her. He refused, stating that she wasn't as interesting as she thinks she is. She got offended by that, too. This was the beginning of the end for the two of them as he had never seen her behave like, in his words, such “a crazy b*tch” before. I had seen it many times, but I imagine in my friend's case, seeing a 50+-year-old mother and grandmother throw an absolute hissy fit, because she didn't get her way, must have been quite the unnerving sight.
It's been over eight years and I haven't heard from her since. I imagine she thinks about me quite often because I was one of the few who got away and beat her at her own game.
@@johannaleopold2612 *The mother paying for her kid that wants Vanilla.
Since she wasn't paying initially.
Story 1 - THREE TIMES. You have to do it THREE TIMES. And don't forget to GIGGLE! The giggling is vitally important. While chanting, "It's just a prank!" over and over. GIGGLE! Chant. GIGGLE! Chant. GIGGLE! Chant.
Oh, and send him the invoice for the hospital bill, with a lovely little note of, "Pay up or go to Prison for attempted murder. You're old enough to be charged as an adult."
Story 3: I almost wonder if they were like testing her or something? Like “if she can’t handle a little hazing then she isn’t good enough for our son” or something like that. That is legitimately the only vaguely reasonable explanation that I can see for their behavior because really, “pay for your portion of Thanksgiving dinner,” what? 😅
“My wife got upset and took it as I have no regard for Britney,” ah yes, the same way she’s having *0 regards* for Olivia on her *OWN DAMN BIRTHDAY* like I’m CERTAIN she’d be open to having a vanilla cake switched out for chocolate on Britney’s birthday, right?
You know. Story 5 reminds me of a AITA RSlash did a while back, where OP confessed how he felt about a girl to his brother, only for his brother to hook up with and marry her. And I profoundly disagreed with him on that one.
Did OP's brother cheat on OP? Not directly.
Is it a massive betrayal? Absolutely.
I have a brother. If I caught him and my GF sleeping together, I couldn't even get sympathy from my own brother.
The people who are saying it isn't healthy to hold a grudge.... that's true for small things, but let me have someone sleep with your SO, then marry them, then have people say "Just forgive and forget, lmao."
Sometimes the hate is justified, and worth carrying. This is one of them.
That first story is insanely coincidental. Thursday I had a bronchitis induced asthma attack, I couldn't breathe, and my old inhaler (from the last time I had bronchitis) was empty because it had been a couple of years.
So I was at work, red in the face, taking deep breaths but not getting enough oxygen in my lungs. My coworker, thank goodness, had a rescue inhaler on her and gave it to me.
When I told one of my managers what had happened they said "oh that was nice of her" and made us go back to work (it was our store's truck day). None of them asked if I was okay, only my fellow coworkers who could see my face was red.
I'm okay now and went to the doctor and had my inhaler refilled but that attack and reaction from the managers just shook me up
You're not dead? GET BACK TO WORK!
When what you NEED is to go to the hospital for a check-up, and possibly be on low-level oxygen for a few hours, to re-stabilize your condition.
Get a new job. Also, consider reporting them to the Department of Labor.
@@AuntLoopy123 that's the plan. Funnily enough I'm trying to get a job at our local hospital. I told my Dr about it and I now have a rescue inhaler
@@AuntLoopy123 and yeah I have been considering reporting them but my boss, the owner, took matters into his own hands and wrote up said manager and reminded him "you need to see the severity in those situations"
Story 1: NTA; messing with someone's medicine is never a prank, it can lead to someone dying. That kid needs therapy.
The rest of the family as well.
The last story:
Ngl the daughter needs to understand that that girl was special to op and she proceeded to cheat on him. And forcing them two rivals to go together is a massive nope..it's like bringing a huge rival to a funeral.
Ngl if my ex friend, who is a narcissist, comes to my wedding somehow or even my funeral, I'll be pissed out and can and will throw hands automatically.
If that happens at your funeral hopefully the family will finally understand how much it hurt you even deep in your bones.
@@MrKilleralien fr. Maybe I'll be the new grudge girl from the ring except I'll be coming out from a funyun ring because why not lolol
‘Throwing hands’ from beyond the grave is TIGHT 😎
@@Nyax50Lopez
You know I'd welcome that, actually. If your edgy blood-stained horn and maned Unicorn OC with the blood-letting crimson eyes emerged and manifested from my Happy Meal (or however one ascertains an onion-of-fun?) though I do ponder the technicalities of emergence through an edible portal or gateway. So, if I were to (let's say) rend the circumference of the ring you're attempting to transition through, would you only partially reconstitute (depending on how much of you materialised), or would I've inadvertently; consumed you? Perhaps, the arcane-archaic magic; would be merely dispelled as the circle is broken and incomplete, and you would be; exiled to the depths of DeviantArt once again?
Are "funyuns" your only means to enter our world?
@@blackerscreenproductions1368 :v thanks for reminding me to update my icon XD it's been since 2013 XDD
That 3rd story: so they claim OP's portion of Thanksgiving is $30....so they must have a pretty amazing spread to have spent $120 to feed just 4 people one single meal.
And even if that was normal, not warning OP of the exact amount before she agreed to go was a douchebag move by the boyfriend. Even if he thought every family charged he can't expect her to know the amount without a heads up.
And I wouldn't spend $30 on a single meal at a sit down restaurant with professional chefs, certainly no way I am paying that much for some bumbling home cook to under/over season/cook the food.
Exactly!
As someone living in Canada, you never EVER have to pay for any meal at someone else’s house
Story 2:
Her: I'm _complimenting_ you
Also her: _has a fit and gets offended when Op says it to her_
Yeah she wasn't complimenting him, she was insulting him then lying and framing it as a "compliment" so if he got upset then she could paint him as the bad guy because he "got _mad_ over a _compliment_ 🥺" to anyone willing to listen
Story 3: "They already don't like you for not paying" Well then what's the point of Op staying?
Story 4: Imagine thinking someone gets to dictate what cake is served for _someone else's_ birthday simply because they personally don't like it. It's my sibling's birthday today, actually, and they _love_ carrot cake. I don't care much for it, it's too sweet for me and I usually get dark chocolate stuff but my sibling hates dark chocolate. Neither of us would be _so_ entitled that we'd demand we have the cake _we_ want on the other's birthday. It's just rude. It's _one_ day, she can suck it up and eat some chocolate cake or don't eat any at all.
Edit: "You're showing favoritism!" This coming from the woman who tried to cater one daughter's birthday for the other, and then _refused_ to partake in the party when she didn't get her way. Op isn't showing favoritism, she is towards her bio daughter and she's mad Op won't do the same.
Story 2: She's a narcissist, this is likely what cost her the job in the first place, jobs in fields that niche talk to each other, they definitely called her previous employers and didn't like what they heard.
Story 3: This is why he will remain single till the day he dies.
For the third story I have never heard asking guests for money towards the meal. I am Canadian and in my family the host asks everyone coming to bring something small like a desert or a fruit/vegetable tray. Sometimes my mom helps with buying ingredients and brings them.
Story 3: WTF?! Pay as a GUEST?! They weren't at a restaurant, they were invited but only she had to pay? That is the weirdest shizz I've EVER heard and I've been to A LOT of Canadian TG dinners!!
As a Canadian no we never charge guests for food or meals or anything like that thats insane
As a Canadian I can say no one has EVER asked me to pay for a meal as a guest. Unless we were like ordering takeout and then we all split it of course. But invited to a home for a family meal? No, no one charges for that. This is INSANE.
Story #1: My husband also has asthma. It's much better controlled now than it once was, but there was a time when hiding his inhaler would have put his life in serious danger and this story gave me chills.
Yeah
If someone steals my inhaler as a “prank” I’m throwing hands. And by hands I mean cane because I’m a cripple with a walking cane. If they wanna “prank” me where I could die? THEN YOU’RE COMING WITH ME
Canadian here: never heard of charging guests for food. My family and friends do potlucks if we are all short on money, to make it easier for all, but if we invite someone for dinner and they don’t offer to bring an item, we assume we’re making dinner on our own dime.
About the birthday cake story - I always chose to have pineapple in my cake to spite my sister who hated it. It's the birthday girl/boy who decides what the birthday cake tastes, if someone doesn't like it, they can go without.
I glossed over the kid in story #1's age. I think because the thumbnail showed a younger kid I was imagining like... 8-12. HE WAS 16?!?!?!? He was REPEATEDLY hiding LIFE SAVING medicine from his caretaker at 16!??!?! Gone. Out. Done.
I am Canadian and I have never ever thought about charging a guest when I invite them over for dinner
Story 4: I would love to know if Britney herself actually even cared. My money's on no because the way things are written, it really sounds like her mom was more invested in this argument than anyone. Or at least I hope that's the case. A girl Britney's age should be able to handle not having a slice of birthday cake if she hates that flavor so much. I mean, we're talking CHOCOLATE here, one of the most common flavors of sweets doled out on festive occasions. She's probably used to taking it in stride by now, and if she isn't that's a problem!
Last story: I feel sad for OP. His daughter knew how he felt enough to make sure that he didn't know she was seeing his brother and his family for FOUR YEARS, and tried to use her wedding as a way to force a reconciliation. It's true that, yeah, this will break their relationship forever. But IMO, he's not the one doing the breaking. And it probably hurts him because this will feel like one more thing his brother stole from him. I'm especially pissed at his brother because he HAS to have known how this would affect them. That's a 5/5 butthole score from me right there.
omg, I didn’t even THINK about that! The daughter went behind his back for 4 years in order to set up this elaborate emotional blackmail on a day that she thought OP wouldn’t be able to refuse. That’s just cruel.
This just shows that that wife does not care about the husbands other daughter at all. The thing is that when you marry into kids those kids become yours too. If I were that guy I would be getting a divorce at that point.
The cake story is so weird and stupid. What goes better with cake than ice cream? Get a half gallon of vanilla ice cream to serve with the chocolate cake. If Brittany wants dessert, she can just have ice cream. That's what my parents did when we were kids (the birthday child always got to choose the cake and whatever we were having for dinner, too).
As for that last story...I get the distinct impression that if OP's family had acknowledged his pain and validated his feelings in the beginning, he wouldn't be so bitter today.
@@jenniferann7212 about the last story I’d say you hit it right on the money. Had OP’s parents at least kicked the brother to the curb, even if only temporary, because of my kid did that to their sibling then I’d kick them to the curb for a time, then yeah OP probably would at least be able to tolerate his brother for a wedding for his daughter’s sake. But NOOO they told HIM OFF and then his own daughter went behind his back. OP isn’t the jerk but if his gf doesn’t know everything then he should tell her. If he did then what OP’s gf said isn’t mean she just probably wants to see a family become whole again, which I can believe as long as she doesn’t push it past this.
Right. My son absolutely hates hot dogs and won't eat them at all. But when he goes to a birthday party and they're only serving hot dogs, he takes it in stride and just eats other things.
For the birthday story, i think that's absolutely divorce material. If it was me, i would worry everyday about how my spouse treats my child when I'm not around. This time i was there to stand up for her but what if I'm not there?
*First OP:* Would this be considered Conspiracy to Commit Murder? OP is NTA. If OP’s parents are so concerned about their grandson, then _they_ should take him in.
I think that’s the loudest and longest “NOOOO!” rSlash let out, lol
*Second OP:* OP just returned the same energy to his wife. Maybe his wife will stop doing that after the incident, lol. OP is NTA. I agree with rSlash; OP’s wife told on herself with her reaction.
*Third OP:* I … _what?!_ OP is NTA.
*Fourth OP:* I’m pretty sure this is grounds for divorce. OP is NTA.
*Fifth OP:* OP’s daughter has the right to invite whomever she wants at _her_ wedding, and OP has the right not to pay for half the wedding with _his_ money. He also has the right not to attend his daughter’s wedding. OP is NTA. I do hope there’s some resolution so OP _will_ attend his daughter’s wedding.
*Get out of my head, rSlash!* 😛
First story: granted what nephew is doing with these so called pranks is beyond stupid, he may be projecting his feelings about his mom’s cancer in a very unhealthy way. I think he could use therapy.
Second story: wife doesn’t see her husband as a partner but a person she can beat down. Wonder if her behavior showed in the interview which caused her to not get the job. I strongly feel that she didn’t get the hint when OP gave her her own medicine.
Third story: glad OP ran.
Fourth story: wife needs therapy and a reality check.
Fifth story: I’m going rogue that it seems like OP never got therapy to help move on from the betrayal. I’m not OP but I would pay my part, hope to walk her down the aisle, but make it clear to whomever possible that brother and wife stay away from me.
To make the last story even worse when you think about it, OP's daughter did exactly what her uncle and aunt did to OP. She snuck around behind his back, gaslit him, made his family take his brother's side again, and then waited until he was happiest to crush him with the betrayal.
@@lorilancaster5917 Therapy is not helping something that was 1 huge instance with multiple instances and everyone against him over 25+ years.
@@FishAnvil She'd drive the knife quite near literally in my heart. Because that's the end game.
Last story: since the daughter picked her cheating-enabling uncle over her own father, I think HE should be the one to pay their family's side of the wedding costs.
How was the brother enabling? I get that sleeping with your brother's girlfriend is seriously messed up but it was 26 years ago! OP went on got married, divorced & has another girlfriend since then! Dude needs to get over it.
@@catherinewoelfel6588 You are very likely just like all the POSs OP dealt/deals with...
But she didn’t choose her ‘over’ her own father. She wants both people there
@@samschellhase8831 "you can't have your cake and eat it too"
Choosing 1 is choosing not the other...
Her being a brat and POS daughter is her wanting both.
Can't have both.
Obviously her uncle matters more to her.
It must run in their family to have 1 AH per generation, 1 mistreated, and the rest siding with the AHs.
@@RedrumZombies damn dude I agree that’s she can’t have both but you’re reading way too much into this. Like this dude and his wife have been part of the family for years and had kids who are this girls cousins she most likely grew up with. And clearly the rest of the family has no problem with them being here. In the end it’s just justified pettiness.
Lifelong Canadian here and those parents were insane. The only time it's okay to ask your guests to cover a portion is if you all got back from a night out drinking and were splitting for pizza.
Or, like, my parents have a lobster party every year and they ask their friends if they all want to pitch in to order fresh lobsters in bulk and then everyone brings a dish and they all cook their lobsters and party and drink... But it's definitely not a surprise charge.
I do it to sometimes but the people i do it with life either with the parents or only visit at my place and allmost never theirs. Also we decide it from the start
**Calls cops on Nephew**
Nephew: "B-b-b-but..! It's just a prank bro!"
Cop: *"It's just attempted murder....BRO."*
In story two, OP is what I would say an "accidental butthole" because he accidentally exposed his wife's true intentions. He's not at fault for trying to comfort his SO.
Yeah. It was unintentional. She TRAINED him that "Sooooo close" was THE THING TO SAY, because that's what she did, EVERY TIME, FOR YEARS, and when he complained, she told him that his feelings were wrong, and that it was good and a compliment, and he should feel better, because she said it.
She TAUGHT HIM TO SAY THAT. She has NO leg to stand on, or complain about.
However, since she has now outed herself as a PURPOSEFUL ABUSER AND GASLIGHTER, making him think that it is, in fact, the thing to say, and doubting his own sense of "That's not right! It's hurtful!", now he should DIVORCE HER.
Also, he should NOT apologize to her for doing it, but demand that SHE apologize to HIM, for the YEARS OF ABUSE. And if she complains, tell her, "You TAUGHT me to do that. And when I followed YOUR TEACHINGS, and did it to you, you PROVED that you KNEW YOU WERE HURTING ME ALL ALONG. Which means that YOU ABUSED ME, and YOU are the one who owes the apology here. In fact, you'd better apologize, if you want to keep this marriage. In fact, apologize, or I will expose you to all your family, friends, acquaintances, and business contacts, as a liar and an abuser. I'll still divorce you, but if you grovel, I MIGHT not expose you."
Interference with medical supplies is NEVER a prank.
Last story: I feel the OP was in the right as they were no contact with their brother, I do hope she doesn’t cut contact with there father
She'll come crawling back once she realizes she was used to get to her father..
As a Canadian, that has never happened to me where I had to pay for stuff I’ve eaten. If that was, the amount of debt I would be in from stealing food from my friend’s and family’s houses would be insanely high.