With the wedding thing, I get where Rslash is going with his explanation (I don't really agree), but threatening to call the cops on an employee doing their job should up the butthole score in my opinion
If you're so insecure on your wedding by a college kid then you deffo have issues. Also I kind of disagree with rslash yes it's her wedding you shouldn't exclude someone just because of there looks that's just rude and entitled of her
Also, the bride's description of 'too much makeup' was eyeliner. LOL The bride was just a jealous jerk. She was at her wedding obsessing over a server she only saw occassionally.
@@shadowmewfred09 yeah you basically summed up my thoughts. Like if some random just rocked up who you didn't want or invite, then yeah, you can kick them out, but if someone working for a company you hired for a service doesn't measure up to expectations that you never communicated you shouldn't kick them out or threaten them. If you think about her perspective, she just went to work planning on having a normal day wearing what she normally would to work, and then you came out of nowhere being like "I don't like the way you look, get out or I'll call the cops", that's really unfair. In a perfect world she would still get paid for the hours she's missed out on, but having worked in the industry for a while I'm willing to bet that she was sent home early with no pay for the missed hours (or if they're required by law where she lives, she'll probably have to fight for it)
Two replies from someone who was actually a worker at that catering company for the 4th story: After sending the post to my work gc I confirmed this is infact the same wedding. And I have screen shots of the texts I got sent during the wedding Just to clarify some things I saw in the comment tho 1)our uniforms change depending on the weather this was a day time wedding in 90 degree heat so light weight long sleeve tops 2) the wedding was a 3 1/2 hour drive for most of us so our usual team of 15 people was cut to 9 (I wasn’t there cause the drive was too long and I’m not comfortable driving that far late at night) 3)she wasn’t fired but she did have to leave early…but that’s not a bad thing cause that means she didn’t have to clean up after the wedding and still got paid 4) jewelry is allowed at our job it just has to be simple which is what she had on simple jewelry and her engagement ring. 5) she was actually 18 and in high school. (She can bartend supervised since she’s 18) 6) makeup is allowed it just can’t be crazy makeup. So eyeliner specifically winged eyeliner which is what she had on is infact allowed. 7) we buy our own uniforms and are reimbursed for the cost. She accidentally shrunk her pants and hadn’t gotten the chance to get new ones And My coworkers and I are all laughing at this. Op seemingly left out the fact one of the fathers kept flirting with the staff, some of the guest got shit faced and tried to steal from the bar, ops wedding planner walked into the kitchen at one point and almost broke down crying, and the groom and groomsmen got way to high and left half smoked blunts all over the place Edit: just to clarify this isn't me, but a comment from the reddit thread itself from a coworker who caught wind of it
Oh no, I disagree with you. I got married just last month so the whole being a bride mindset is still fresh in my mind. The server was wearing her work uniform, she wasn't wearing say, a white dress, or anything inappropriate for a wedding. Work uniforms fit different people in different ways. That can't be helped. If the amount of makeup and jewelry was a problem then the solution would have been to ask her to remove the jewelry and go into the restroom to remove some eyeliner so she could get back to work. Also Bridezilla is crazy if she thinks someone in her work uniform is stealing the spotlight. She's not. Bridezilla is jealous and insecure. She was the ONLY person there who likely even noticed the server beyond a person in the background doing her job, I guarantee it.
Like Mr. Redder gave this story his Karen voice after reading halfway through. Like Rslash is an idiot. Nose studs are super tiny and this woman is picking on someone seven years younger than herself and he's fine with it. What a dumbass.
I actually agree with R/ She is allowed to remove anyone she wants from the wedding. She isn't the butthole for deciding to remove someone, but the thoughts that got her there do make her a butthole
Forth story: I feel like rslash is confused about his rating. She is allowed, she is given the right to choose the wedding details to the most minuscule detail. That’s fine. You can still be an AH while exercising those rights. She used her power based on internal insecurities and unfair judgement. Which makes her an AH.
I agree with this. rslash was a bit inconsistent with his regular rating system here. He rates parents not spending money equally on their kids (which they totally have a right to do) as an AH thing to do, but not demeaning a caterer for... being to pretty? Being younger than her? My feedback would be that the last story was a bad rating.
That's what I say. Yes, she was well within her rights to kick anyone she wanted out of her party, but she's an asshole for kicking out a girl just because she didn't like the way she looked.
Maybe this is just me, but I (recently a bride) also think asking your guests to wear minimal makeup is weird too. I’m very into makeup and my go to for any special events is full glam. Based on this story, I have a feeling my version of minimal makeup would have still been too much lol. But I’m also the person that told all my friends I wanted them to look their best at my wedding
This is what I was going to say exactly. Is she *in the wrong* for kicking the server out? Technically, no. She’s well within her rights to do so. Is she *the asshole* for doing so? Absolutely yea.
When I was in high school I had a friend who’s name was Sue, not Susan. We had a teacher who insisted that we put our full names on any papers that we turned in. When she got her first test back she had 5 points deducted for “not her proper name”. Sue told her that was her name; she brought in her I.D. cards but this teacher was always right so she kept deducting points. It took Sue’s mother intervening for that nonsense to stop!
I would just ask my mom for my birth certificate and bring that to school and just show it to the teacher like "Look Sue is my legal name! Now give me back my five points!"
I work at weddings/parties as a caterer, and if there’s any special requests (like wearing red vests to match the color scheme) we’re told in advance Rslash is right for not making that clear, however, I feel like it’s not the server wearing too much makeup or looking too “revealing” and it’s just the brides insecurity Wearing those shirts and vests and pants is Not sexy lmao, and you Have to talk to the people at the party to see if they want drinks or get their trash,, people love to talk so I wouldn’t be surprised if they just stopped her to talk lmao
I completely agree. They usually have some sort of consultation, asking if there's anything they specifically want, and this is absolutely ridiculous of the bride to ask
I'll be honest, from my wedding I don't remember a single staff member. I was so busy being a bride, talking to people, dancing, trying to sneak in a bite of food that I honestly feel bad that I couldn't thank them. (I had a wedding planner that took care of closing bills and everything else.) How did this bride even have time to notice. Heck, all three of my bridesmaids were/are prettier than me, but I was the one in the big white dress so guess who was getting the attention? This bride was too focused on her own vanity and went straight to Snow White's wicked stepmother.
I had this problem with the name. My real name is Mandy, not Amanda. It's on my birth certificate. I got in trouble for not responding to "Amanda" when I was in kindergarten. When i informed the teacher that that wasn't my name, she yelled at me. I got sent to the principals office too. After insisting that it wasn't my name, they said, "we will call your parents'. My mom had to bring my birth certificate down to prove that my FULL name was Mandy and not a nickname. It was so annoying. And no, noone ever apologized.
Even IF your name was Amanda and you simply preferred Mandy, it doesn't give weight to their argument. You still call people by whatever name they tell you to call them by
My real name is Katie. It's not short for anything, either. I can commiserate. Though, nobody has gone so far as to make my parent show them my birth certificate as proof of my name; that was truly effed up for the school to do to you and your mom. I don't understand why they wouldn't have just looked at the name you were registered for school with. If they didn't trust that for some reason, your mom's word should have been sufficient. I guess you got an early lesson in the ass-hattery of people. 😬 It's so bizarre that people just decide they know our names better than we (or our parents) do. I've found that once they convince themselves they're correct, they absolutely refuse to believe anything else. I don't understand why they become so fixated on being right about something that doesn't mean anything to them in the long run. People are weird. 🤷♀️
A similar story on here the girls actual name was Abby or some spelling of that but teacher, might have been a sub, tried calling her Abigail and since not her name no response until the teacher got mad stormed up to her and demanded to know why she didn't respond. When the girl explained the teacher didn't believe it's her real name and sent her to the principal
Ummm...Wearing pants that are way too tight with a shirt that is designed to be very "reveling" in certain areas is completely inappropriate for a working environment where one needs to look professional! Nose rings are a no go in the professional world in my book! Single pierced ear lobes are fine! I think the boss should have just taken the girl home or to a store so she could change into or purchase some more appropriate work clothes. Pants that fit her properly and a nice, long sleeved button down shirt! Also, her boss should have made her remove her garish make-up and her nose ring! This is a private, formal wedding event, not a party at HOOTERS or a strip club!
@@MINGIRL1979 girl, I highly doubt the waitress looked like anything OP said. This post comes off as her being insecure and jealous. Wearing makeup and jewelry doesn't automatically make someone more or less professional. As long as this lady was doing her job, why should it be an issue?
If the bride (in a wedding dress at her own party) can be "outshined" by a teen server in a standard uniform; that bride was ugly and basic AF to begin with!! 🙄🤣 I love that for the bride, she needs everyone to shine less so her dullness can even be noticed at her own wedding. 😂🤣😂😆🤣
@@MINGIRL1979 if it doesn’t impact their work at all how is it unprofessional? Also what the hell is up with your professional standards all being super sexist? Tight pants? You mean pants that fit? Because I GURANTEE if she wore baggy pants that would be “unprofessional” too. Your pathetic
I'm kinda freaking out about the piano story. Pianos are delicate instruments and can be ruined if not kept properly. And they are extremely expensive. Jail time for the brother.
In the first story, it's funny how OP's mom is calling her cruel for kicking out a thieving brother (because he DID steal a piano) but isn't cool enough herself to give his own son a place to stay.
For the wedding story, people in the comments pointed out that OP ruined her own wedding because all she did was focus on this ONE server. She didn't greet guests, dance or really anything but stare and complain about this girl. She let someone wearing EYELINER dominate her wedding. I bet if she asked anyone at her wedding about the server, they wouldn't remember because THEY WERE FOCUSED ON THE WEDDING. OP sat at her own wedding, stewing mad because a young woman dared be prettier then her. I fear for what happens if OP has a daughter.
i feel like everyone is blowing a one moment thing out of proportion. someone getting a little antsy at the biggest event of their life and feeling slightly insecure doesn't mean they are a fucking monster.
So Bridezilla got offended by a young woman (checks notes) - wearing the appropriate work attire that happens to be a little more fitted for her - wearing a normal amount of jewellery - wearing eyeliner Yeah lady, you ruined your own wedding by being hyper fixated on a person that didn’t do anything wrong.
@@CanMav Y'all need to stop thinking these videos are supposed to be factual. Mainly he gave his opinion acknowledging that people would disagree with him and him understanding that. He did not back her up, he said that he understood where she was coming from but mainly was disagreeing with the type of people she painted herself as in the story. Y'all are really annoying thinking that arse lash is always supposed to think the same way as you do. I disagree with OP and think she's fully the AH but Cheesus Crust, y'all can't stand people seeing things differently? The only viable reason to bash arse lash would be when he becomes judgemental for no reason, but he did nothing wrong if just seeing things differently. Edit : I agree with the guy below, she was just all around a bad communicator and an annoying crybaby and what she did is plain wrong and babyish.
Story 1: OP posted on social media about "someone is keeping stolen property" and described the circumstances. She got her piano back and her brother remained banished.
Robin Williams, one of the greatest comedic voices of all time and a top-notch actor in general. You don't have to look to fiction to find great men named Robin.
Story 4: We own a catering company, in case of special events we must be inform in ADVANCE what the host wants us to wear. Yes the Wife has the authority to kick out anyone she wants however, by not informing the Staff before the wedding is a butthole move.
Wouldn't it be harassment or some form of deal breaker, or cause for extra charge, if the host harasses an employee for hours? Would you still pay the employee if you sent them home to please an unreasonable customer? If not, I think any boss would be an AH. I get needing to finish the job you are being paid for; however, sending an employee home (when they need that paycheck) because of a bad customer is too much. Just out of my ADHD brain's rambling train of thoughts, and curiosity: do you have a clause(s) in your contract(s) that states something to the effect of "Any form of harassment, bullying, intimidation, discrimination (etc) of/against any member of [Company's Name]'s staff by a guest must be swiftly handled by the customer. Any of the above by the customer will be met with a single warning/reminder of contact terms. Any subsequent violations will result in [Company] leaving/ending service and the bill must still be paid in full."? If not, though I'm no contract lawyer (or lawyer in general, lol), I would suggest adding it if possible.
These are the clients that drive you out of business because you constantly give in to their demands which threatens your employees' lively hood, so you're no longer safe employment.
Story 1: It's not blackmail. It's extortion. Also, I'm not as concerned about the piano being sold as I am about it sitting in a cold, possibly damp, garage. Bad, bad brother.
@@lugismansion2400 cruel and just plain stupid because he could've gotten thousands off it if he made the effort to sell it. That sounds fake though I hope thats not true
My daughter's name is Rachel. When she was little, the pediatrician's office would send statements with her name spelled any way they wanted to spell it. I told them several times how her name was spelled, but they ignored me. I finally had enough, and the next time I got one of those statements, I sent it back to them with a note that read 'I keep getting statements for some other child, so I wont be paying this'. They immediately sent another statement with her name spelled correctly. It was the first time I'd ever done something like that, and I gotta say, it felt good. That office staff was horrible. And that was over 40 years ago! Still feel good about it.
Haha, I love the logic you used. My grandma would call me Pauline (my name is Paula) and it confused my mom. I asked my grandma why she called me that and told me I don't know I think it sounds nicer. She was in her 80s so honestly I thought she was adorable (my mom too). I found out a dead family member was called Pauline, so I think I reminded her.
My name is Lisa. In middle school I had a Phys. Ed. teacher call me Liza. I was the only Lisa in the class. After about a week of correcting this I finally refused to answer. When I was marked absent from that class but no others they called my mom in to see what the problem was. She explained to the school, that I didn't answer because I never hear my name being called. This was also the same school who combined my first and middle name together for the first year on my transcripts. That took a year to fix.
Wedding story: she is 100% BH. 3:5 by my standards. She can make arrangements when it comes to guests, and to a minimal extent the wait staff. Divorce material right there
You get a boot she gets a boot he gets a boot you all get a boot from the wedding >:D yeah you would be amazed in GA how many people start stuff then get mad when they get insulted back.
Fourth story: OP is the AH for being insecure over the appearance of a wedding server. I seriously doubt this woman intended to upstage the bride. Yet OP threatened to call the police over the appearance of the hired help. She needs to get over her insecurities, and I feel really bad for her husband.
@Ell The Storm and Sea yeah, but the boss did mention that they were short staffed so that is why they didn't want to send her home right away. I get it's op wedding, but to be so worried that you're going to be outdone by a server is just stupid.
@@WiseMfear3 if she isn't there she isn't getting tips... Legally she can't be part of the pool. So she'd probably make like 30$ instead of nearly a grand. Her request was initially to have her out of sight not to see d her home.
I would’ve commanded Robin to stop responding to Robert. Then when the weirdo comes over, demanding that he listens to her or asking to know why he’s ignoring her, he’s just to say: “Oh, I never heard you say my name” “Yes, silly, I’ve been calling Robert for a few minutes now” “Oh well, that’s not my name…why would I respond to someone else’s name?” “It IS your name, come along Robert, we’re going to speak with the principal, you’re going to be punished for disrespecting me” *Robin doesn’t get up to go with her* “ROBERT. I said come with me” *crickets* “ROBERT!” “Ma’am, there’s no Robert here…if you mean to address me, please use my name, otherwise I won’t know that you’re talking to me” *I walk up* “Where the heck is my son?” “He’s right here, Robert is refusing to listen to me” “I don’t have a son named Robert. Perhaps you’d have more success if you looked for ROBIN”
When I was younger I was a little brat when people mispronounced my name at school. I’d just sit there and smile as they stumbled over my name: Kaylee, Kylee. After three attempts I’d finally take pity on them and tell them the correct way to pronounce my name. If they were passing stuff out with our names on them but my name was spelled wrong I wouldn’t take it because that wasn’t me and we’re not supposed to take stuff not meant for us.
Bride OP sounds like the type of person that when she says "OUR dream wedding" and "OUR dream catering" she really means "I threw a tantrum and nagged my fiancé until I got what I wanted." There was likely no mutual agreement, just her going back to "It's MY big day" and her poor husband likely got NO say in anything.
And she's probably yet another person who focuses way too much on the wedding and not on the actual marriage. But imagine being jealous of some college age girl just because she's wearing makeup and jewelry...
@@dx1450 yeah, i usually find that everyone who tends to have such granular control over every detail of the wedding does nothing to maintain the relationship afterward
while i agree its really weird behavior on bridezillas side, im also thinking thats a weird catering company if they keep pushing her back in with the guests when bridezilla said she didnt want her there.
How much y’all wanna bet that the server in the 4th story wasn’t actually wearing something flashy and was wearing a completely normal amount of eyeliner and normal jewelry?
It's likely, considering how OP started describing her looks and making emphasis on her UGLY nose stud. Like I don't like piercings but just making a jab at that plus her whole attitude just reeked of envy. Another detail, she never mentioned anyone but her noticing the server, not even the groom. It's not HER special day, it's THEIR special day and she threw a tantrum instead of playing as a team.
I agree. And my guess is she is a more curvy woman (large chest, butt, and/or thighs)-and as a curvy woman? I gotta say, any normal piece of clothing suddenly becomes “too provocative” because clothing conpanies still suck at accomadating to a person who has even a semblence of a butt or boobs… or stomach.
@@imzadi83fanvids7 you really think every company ever is having a tailor measure some teenager to custom fit them a uniform for one summer a year? I wish I lived in your reality.
Story 3: Imagine refusing to use someone's real name because "it's a boy/girl's name and the person is a girl/boy". I don't know what is wrong with this mom, but she needs to stop
If Elon Musk can name his kid an abstract series of characters, anyone can be called an actual name, regardless of whether or not it's traditionally a boy/girl name.
It also smacks of transphobia... “you’re incorrect about your name, you aren’t following the gendering i think is correct here” You know if she had a trans kid in her class she’d be an unholy terror to that child.
The fact that she said that Robin is a girl name even though the name is unisex just like the names Alex and Charlie also Kelsey.I can tell that she’s never heard of Batman and Robin because if she did then she wouldn’t have said that Robin is just a girl name.
Bride was absolutely an AH. She has the right to choose who attends but her methods and motives are what make her the AH. She could have handled this better. Make sure the server is compensated for the evening and ask her boss to excuse her with no hard feelings or ask her to remove the jewelry and makeup. There were better ways to handle this
Second Story: This is literally the epitome of "Fuck around and find out." The lawyer *explicitly* told the family "DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING UNTIL WE GET THERE, OR WE WILL SUE." And the family decided to take things, so the lawyer sued. What the fuck did they expect to happen?
Boss is already the AH for both lying to the customer that they could accomidate her and not going to bat for the employee they forced to work against both OP's and probably her wishes.
I’ll never get that „it’s my wedding so everyone has to be super plain on purpose“ mentality. Imagine being to insecure that you tell everyone to look ugly so you look good in comparison
Now that I think of it, you have a point. Literally forcing every women to look worse just so she can shine above the rest (not saying women have to wear makeup to look good btw)
Rslash, you're dead wrong about the bridezilla thing. As a waiter who served at many weddings, this is actually harassment. She harassed the waiter (and boss) over and over again. She came to their workplace and continually disrespected the staff.
@@skorpiongod Yes she does, but she's not paying her salary, something Rslash said. She's paying to be there and for the services they provide her. No one is saying she can't decided who does or doesn't belong there, but it sets a bad look when your reaction to your own stupidity is to harass someone else. These people are working. Why would they conform to your wedding standards when not told and take the chance of being mistaken for a guest rather than a server? If she didn't want this as an issue she probably should have communicated her feelings rather than immediately assuming malicious intent
@@skorpiongod That doesn't matter, she would still be the asshole. Would you have the same energy if they kicked out the server because of their race or ethnicity? Like having a right to do something doesn't make you not the asshole if that thing is a shitty thing to do
I do wonder if she explained why she wanted the server gone. Couldn't she have started with "I think you're wearing too much make up and jewelry, so can you please take that off?" Like, that's a semi-reasonable thing to ask on your wedding I think. The thing about her clothes being too tight could even be fixed with an apron or something, dunno. There's usually nice ways to communicate stuff like this xD
4th story: i think rslash focused to much on wether the bride had the right to send her away or not. she had every riht to do so but she was the buttjole solely because of the reasoning behind it. the server wasn’t wearing anything to flashy,her having eyeliner on isn’t distracting anyone from the bride
I feel like firing someone based on looks and gender is discrimination. You can have a party but firing someone based on those reasons is illegal in most places. This is AITA, not is this my decision
@@KaiAstraStylist gender is playing a really minor role here. OP Threw her out because she felt like this female server was out staging? overstaging? what ever, looking better then OP. it maybe because shes a girl. but that is not why they were kicked out. it would be discriminations to fire someone over gender. but not looks.
Okay, imo colour themes in weddings are fairly common so I don’t see issue with that - but I do agree with you on the makeup part, that was weird. You should just be happy that the people that support you decided to come to your wedding 😞
Story 2: you know what else was harsh, stealing from a deceased family member after being told repeatedly that they were under no circumstances a laugh to go to the house before you and your sister. Ask Grandma how can she justify stealing thousands of dollars worth of family memories like that.
My grandmother had an apartment fire a few years ago and had help from her classmates to start going through stuff to throw away. One of them felt entitled enough to tried and grabbed items that were in the smoke filled house it was unbelievable. Like my grandmother had to start over because she lost over 70% of her stuff and her classmate wanted stuff that should not be save.
"Do X and the cops will be called" Is a pretty hard thing to argue is unfair. Like, sure sure they can, but if a business says "Do X and we'll call the cops" you wouldn't call THEM harsh. Same deal. It always boggles my mind when someone in these is like "Here is literally what I'm going to do if you do this ONE SPECIFIC thing" and the person does it and then is like "Don't you think you're being unreasonable doing the thing you LITERALLY TOLD ME IN DETAIL YOU'D DO!?" ... like XD no wtf. It's not like they sprung this on you. The ENTIRE family was warned. Also even if they weren't, literal theft. And stealing from a dead person I think in some places can have EXTRA consequences.
Wedding story: I think rslash falls into a bit of a trap sometimes where legality is viewed as a get out of jail free card. Bridezilla might have been entitled to kick anyone out if the party she (presumably) paid for but… her reasons and how she does it, do matter. She can 100% be entitled to her behaviour and still be a butthole by engaging in it.
Oh for sure. Like yeah I guess she has the right to kick out the server but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve a butthole score. I’d say 3/5 buttholes for ruining her own wedding and shaming a random server for her body
Honestly this. It's not r/AmILegallyAllowedToDoThis. It's a sub where people come to ask if they acted like an ass, so legality really shouldn't be that big of a factor in these things cuz... Just because something is legal, doesn't mean it's not a shitty thing to do.
Doing something you can do, but is shitty, is like the definition of being an arsehole. Even then, she signed contracts, and jumped to getting the police involved.
Story 4: imagine being so insecure that you think a waitress with too much eyeliner will outshine you on your wedding day. I don’t think she’s the butthole for wanting her wedding I’m a certain way, but she needs to tell the people she hires what she expect of them. And I’m willing to bet a small amount of money that she’s the type of person that would kick out a waitress even after learning that they’re low of staff and then complain that the service is slow!
I know someone who caters if an employee of his was threatened with cops over something so stupid he would have just completly pulled all his staff and left
Apparently Rslash don't care. It's HER wedding so therefore she can be a nasty ass Karen all she wants and that server is evil for being herself. Someone needs to get the jaws of life. Rslash's head is far up his butt again.
Yeah, she is that type of person, because I was thinking "why can't the server just wipe off the eyeliner and take out her piercings? Problem solved!". And then I remembered "oh right, she body shamed the server because her pants were "to fitted". OP is like a vulture, she was looking for someone to circle and have a problem with and no matter what the server or management did, she'd still have an issue.
It’s not just HER wedding though, it’s her husbands, he also has a say in who stays and goes, and the husband was fine with it, she was being heavily insecure and awful, she deserved higher
4th story: OP is acting like a literal child because a bartender will outshine her on her most beautiful wedding with a marriage that will just last a year tops. Think about what consequences could happen by the bartender losing her job , what is she was paying rent with it and got thrown out into the streets etc!
Story 3: NTA; she's intentionally not listening and OP has done everything to correct her, but since she's so insistent that she *knows* what the kid's "real names" are means she shouldn't be interacting with these kids.
With that attitude the mom has, I am 100% sure she'd be transphobic too. If she's doing this to kids imagine what she'd be with trans individuals and their names. That mom would be deadnaming all over the place. Hell she flat out said "Robin's a GIRL's name" . She sounds transphobic af with the way she's acting.
My full legal first name has four letters and one syllable. I once met some guy who imagined an entire _secret, actual, long, real name_ for me, four syllables and taken from pop culture, and called me that without asking. Like, excuse you, dude, no disrespect to your headcanon, but that's... not my name? And EVEN IF it were, I introduced myself as _this_ name, which means you call me this name, period.
@@AngelinaParker Definitely transphobic just based on what she said, and how she treats their names. Like literally refusing to call a girl Charlie because she thinks it's a boy's name, so making up a 'full name' for her based on it, and not backing down when told otherwise. And then the same with Robin.
Brother: "Take it easy and be rational!!" Also brother: **Steals OP's piano, a treasured heirloom, and refuses to give it back** Wow, look at who is talking.
I had a best friend from the time i was 11 to about 26, and ANY time I came to her parent’s house and her father was home, he’d purposely call me any name EXCEPT my actual name. Sometimes multiple different names in the same visit. It is absolutely a form of disrespect and it’s demeaning. I really hated that man.
I don’t know what’s more concerning: - A good amount of people on the AITA don’t know that they’re being surrounded by toxic people - or there is more bad people in this world than we thought
Fifth story: OP is mad that his wife is taking care of their children and that SHE WENT HOME TO PREPARE THE HOUSE FOR A HURRICANE? FFS, call a chaplain or a social worker if you need to talk to somebody. Don’t dump on your wife when she’s no doubt already stressed out. We encouraged family members to go home and rest when I worked for a hospital. She cannot take care of OP if she isn’t taking care of herself, and she will not be taking care of herself if she just stays at the hospital 24/7. The fact she stayed until 4:00 am the night of the accident really goes to show her dedication. I hope rSlash is right and he’s just loopy from the pain medicine.
If I remember right, this was Hurricane Ian as well, the one that just happened and put areas of Florida under 15feet of water [and some of that was in areas that "weren't supposed to flood"]. And that storm was so historically large it literally had a piece that was stretched up the ENTIRE EAST COAST attach to one of it's arms and kind of become a part of it. Plus the dang thing was only a few miles an hour shy of being a Cat 5 hurricane AND was bigger than the entire state of Florida. So YEAH that 100% comes first!! [Especially since he was in a hospital, likely a very safe place to be due to generators and prep for hurricanes they do]
First Story, NTA: First off how did they manage to steal a piano?! Second, OP’s brother and his wife are lucky that OP didn’t press charges immediately. OP’s brother and his wife are actually doing this in someone else’s house. OP needs to press charges now. Why can’t OP’s mom take them in?! Second Story, NTA: I can’t stand family members who act as vultures the moment a family member dies. This shows how much they value the family member that died they have of them. OP did warn them Third Story, NTA: It would be a different story if it was an accident and she just met the kid for the first time but in this case this lady is blatantly disrespecting OP and his son. Purposely calling someone the wrong name is disrespectful. Glad things worked out in the end Fourth Story, YTA: Another case of a bridezilla. I bet that no one but OP cared about this server. I feel bad for OP’s husband. I disagree with the score, I’d say 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Mind u, the server was WORKING there she wasn’t a guest. She is jealous over someone just doing their job. OP has some serious issues to be threatening to call the cops over a 19 year old for wearing the right work clothes, a little bit of jewelry, some eye liner, and for being young. OP ruined her own wedding for no reason at all but her own insecurities Fifth Story, YTA: OP is being selfish. Sure what OP went through is not good at all but OP’s wife is taking care of a bunch of kids during a hurricane
Regarding the wedding story: To me it sounded like the girl would not get payed. So she lost a day of work. Wearing make up is a normal thing in the service industry, I assume. You want to look put together. You also want to be friendly. So the girl did everything right, but then was punished for it.
And the too much makeup was described was 'wearing eyeliner'. Um...what? Bride is just jealous of a more attractive woman at her wedding. It's pathetic.
@@fdm2155 right OP is TA no excuse and funny how only her Mother and MOH are agreeing with her. also I might be the only one saying this but yes Rslash did do a hot take on that story
If she's not paid for the day, she would have pretty good grounds to sue as, despite what OP and rSlash think, this was retaliation and harassment by her employer. She did nothing wrong and performed her duties as she was expected to. Though with such a pussy for a manager I can only guess why they're short staffed, this likely wasn't the first time and the other employees that would have been there likely quit because of similar treatment.
Immagine the priority of the bridezilla to have "I want to be the most prettiest person here so I set some rules and will assume the service people would do the same," than "These people are sharing one of my happiest life event" is truelly incredible.
First story: id say 5/5 honestly, they stole and maybe even sold one of the very few things op had that made her feel connected to her deceased husband, having something that precious to you suddenly ripped away would most likely cause someone to breakdown emotionally and the worst part is that they did that while living with her presumably rent free and that's how they treat her?
Final story: OP is the AH here. I'm not without sympathy for OP who must have been in serious pain in the days after the accident. However, there are children involved, including a 1 year old. HIs wife is literally juggling this situation with her parental responsibilities. She needs to be there for them as well as her husband. I hope rSlash is right that this is the pain meds messing with him.
It's so weird how Rslash is blaming the meds because yes, OP is being completely trash. He's even upset that she didn't drive during a hurricane? The poor woman had to juggle 4 kids, a man-child in the hospital, and then go back home to board the windows for the hurricane? And she's also working? How much do you wanna bet that OP probably never helps with child care, and that's why he doesn't think it's a big deal? Some people cannot be pleased.
I do think the pain he is in and possible pain meds are part of the problem. He had probably never been in a situation like this before either so he is also scared. (Assuming here). Also is a new father and forgetting how much harder a baby is to just dump off on a babysitter. The sad thing is that hopefully he doesn't hold a grudge and will let go off his feelings of thinking she isn't there for him. The mom/wife has done nothing wrong. She isn't neglecting him at all. I totally understand where he is coming from but I also get where she is too. I really really think his biggest issue is being scared and alone after this horrible accident. So he isn't seeing the big picture. Lol hoping that is the problem! So don't think he is an a hole if that's the situation. Now, if he's a narcissistic a hole then he's is an a hole lol
I see it as the feelings are valid, but the husband needs to understand that his wife is under a lot of pressure right now. Honestly, he should try to call in more family. To help them both
I mean, he has a right to be upset. If you're not in a great place, then it's easy to get overwhelmed by emotions, even when they don't really make sense. A while ago, I was super sad because I cut a character from my story and now one of the main characters misses one of his best friends... they don't even exist! So to me, anyone has the right to be emotional about anything. Still, it's kinda harsh from OP to act on those emotions and guilt trip his wife though, when it's clear that she's doing the right thing.
That last story really peeved me, not gonna lie. A few years ago, my husband had to have open heart surgery (his 4th since birth) and it was really touch and go. He was just over 2 hours away and I didn't drive, so his mom (who, at the time, had a better handle on his medical history than I do) stayed with him. I took care of our 4 kids and our small business. Yes, he wanted us there because he missed us like crazy that month he was there, but he knew I was needed at home. My kids we're even as young as theirs! Also, there was a hurricane coming? He expected a 17 year old to take care of 3 little ones (one being a year old) during a damn hurricane?! Jesus... he's a child!!
I think the important distinction between your experience and OPs is that your husband still had his mother staying with him, while OP is alone if his wife isn't there. Isolation in stressful situations like that does things to you, so while it seems minor that difference is actually massive.
Wow. So if your husband died due to complications of surgery, by your logic it's ok because his mom was their. And people say I'm heartless. You couldn't be bothered to take your kids to go see him at least once while he was locked up in the hospital? I've met some truly horrible people but damn.
@@drwboy07 I never said we didn't take them down to see him, we actually did go down and visit him. I just didn't stay at the hospital 24/7 with him. Despite the visits, he still missed all of us. I'm not heartless, where you got that is beyond me. He wanted me to stay with the kids and run our business. At the time, his mom had the better handle on his medical history then I did. We had only been living together for just over a year at that time (It was before we got married) and together as a couple for 3 years. Never once did I think it was better if his mother was there if he had died, you're jumping to some high conclusions there my guy.
@@MEGalomaniac6829 you never mentioned anything about seeing him prior, all you mentioned was his mom was with him and she had a better understanding of his medical history. I'm not saying you have to be there 24/7 but your original statement made it seem as you never even bothered. As what you said in your original comment was "he was 2 hrs away and I didn't drive" with the information you provided even with your new information I'll give you that you at least let him see his kids, but I still think you're somewhat heartless. A friend of mine told me how to better understand human emotion is to put myself in someone else's shoes. I've been in your shoes, and I still can't understand why someone would still be heartless to someone that had no one to be there for them. And I'm not talking about your husband, he atleast had his mom to comfort him but this guy from the story had no one but his wife and he was probably scared most of the time. I would never wish for someone to be hospitalized but put yourself in his shoes, you're in massive pain constantly, you're alone all night other than strangers coming in your room constantly, not to mention how noisy it is and sometimes hearing certain pages over the intercom like code blue or reds and thinking that code could be for you messes with your mind. Would you still say the same thing, if you experience this?
I've been in agonizing pain my dad, mother, brother has been in agony one month or another, by my parents don't abandon our needs for the sake of maybe an hour of care, OP's entire scenario would be... moderately different of his children someone between the ages of 12 and 15 ages imho should be old enough to not talk to people you don't know, don't open the door for anyone, get your choirs done, just basic stuff til the parents get back at 6ish
Ironically I actually did the robin thing with my "first boyfriend". His name was Harley but that was my female best friends name so I INSISTED that he was actually called Harvey to anyone who would ask. The relationship didn't last long. As I was 9-10 years old.
@@ladyvee2090 She was like 9-10 to play devil's advocate, social etiquette is not the strongest when you're a little kid. I think at one point we've all said or done something as a kid we look back on and cringe now. Nothing really to shame her about especially when the mistake years later is acknowledged, to error is human.
@@thesoundofstatic9474 yeah it was one of those playground "we are now boyfriend/ girlfriend" situations that I think lasted like 2 days😂 I learned my lesson though!
First story: let's assume the brother and his family was really annoyed by the piano "noise". Instead of asking OP to only play when they aren't home, they could e.g. go for a walk as soon as OP starts playing. Or they could look for a house/apartment at this time. I bet OP was playing each day around the same time, so they could plan something to do then.
But that would mean being 'forced' to do things they don't want to do like getting a job. You know how these people are, they rather get rid of the thing that's bothering them than having to leave and do things they don't want to just so that OP gets what she wants, right?
Story 3: not only is Robin a unisex name but I mostly seen boys with that name so not only is she wrong for calling your son out of your name, she's wrong about being a boy's name.
As someone who's brother's name is Joe but not Joseph and my name ends in ie not y, the teacher is deffo a rude TA like come on it takes 5 minutes to correct a name (provided your not a sexist idoit) also i knew a girl called Charlie so her logic is so wrong
in my country it's a more commonly boys name but nonetheles its super disrespectful, we have so many different names and as a parent i want my kid to be called by his actual name
Yep but I think there is even more to it. They are living there rent free, can't find another place to stay, won't return it even under threat of arrest. I think they are broke and sold it and are just using this as an excuse.
I'm actually kinda amazed that they stole a piano that fast. Pianos are extremely heavy. That ingenuity should have went towards something else instead of being a little thief.
Yup. I would have _maybe_ given them to the count of ten to tell me where it was so I could get it back. And that’s a BIG “maybe”. But other than that 10 second count (maybe 5 seconds because I’d be counting fast), I’d call the police right away. 1) a damp garage can ruin a piano (assuming they’re telling the truth, which I doubt) 2) if they’d steal a whole freaking _piano_ what else would/could/did they steal?
Last story hit home for me. My husband had life-threatening emergency surgery and almost died. He ended up recovering after nine days in the hospital. I was home with my two kids and my mom was able to come help so I was able to be with him every day but when he came home, he had to recover for three months, I was a stay at home mom doing home school at the time. He just laid in bed the whole time playing violent video games in the other room. I would check on him feed him take care of whatever he needed medically but my focus was on my children, as I had no other support later, I found out that he felt abandoned that whole time. I understand how he felt but I don’t see how I could’ve done anything differently. He was not bedridden he could have been part of the family at any time.
A bridezilla gets a young girl sent home due to jealousy and narcissism. Dabney: This is completely fine it’s her day! Would you feel the same if your own daughter was the one that got sent home for simply existing?
Robin vs Robert: I’m normally not petty, but if this were my child, I’d get back at pickup mum either by cussing her out/ embarrassing her in front of the other parents or ask for her name to intentionally misname her every time I pick up my child. Learn or feel the consequences.
She's bullying these kids for not having names she approves of. (She has been doing it to a little girl named Charlie also so it's definitely not a case of forgetfulness.) Bigotry and bullying children from adults is super disgusting. I would have made a scene too and been in the principals office before any meeting could be called. Other kids are already bad enough, we don't need adults bullying children at school too.
@@JasonW. "alrighty Susan, I'm here to collect my child." "My... my name is Anne." "What's that Barbara? You don't like your name? Well Julia, that sucks doesn't it?"
The wedding story... I see where you're coming from rslash, but I mean I think the main reason why people are upset with OP is that her reason for kicking the person out just comes off very petty and petulant. It'd be one thing if the person was actively trying to outshine the bride or whatever. That's one thing for sure. But I do think like in general, there should be some tact and some limit on reasons to kick someone out of something, no? I mean, granted maybe you said so in jest, but for example I think most people would probably think it's super crappy of someone if they kicked someone out of a party on the grounds of "I think you look too ugly to belong here". Like that sucks cuz what're they gonna do, fix their entire facial structure just to suit someone else's aesthetics for some event? That's unrealistic. I think people with ugly personalities definitely have the right to decide who can and can't be at an event, like for sure. But I don't think you should be surprised if someone lets that ugliness from their personality show and then people are like "Wow, that's kind of ugly". No one likes a crappy person, even if they are possibly justified in doing something.
There's a (canonical) Robin who isn't a dude (Stephanie Brown, later Spoiler and Batgirl), but yes four out of the five canon Robins have been dudes (Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, and Damien Wayne)
Final story: man I don’t think he’s an AH for having those feelings. It’s normal and easy to feel alone and abandoned when in a hospital by yourself, but his wife had a lot to juggle. Yes the kids are a priority, and under normal circumstances the 17 year old could possibly have babysat a little more, but throwing in preparing for an actual hurricane……seriously, yes the mom would choose to stay with the kids. I’ve been in the hospital several times for very scary reasons and I wanted my husband there, but we have 2 kids (both under 5) and as lonely as it was I knew he needed to be with them first. I hope now that things have settled he can see the big picture.
Hardest lesson I've had to learn is that 2 parties can be right at the same time. It's helped immensely now that I've gotten it. He is entirely justified in wanting his wife there. I would too. She is also justified in wanting to take care of the kids.
I really want an update on the first story. Either the brother sold it or he really stored it at a “friends house”. You can’t negotiate that H E double hockey sticks NO!
Exactly because when you're home and not in the hospital you're going to need a lot of care. Plus it's a literal hurricane. And I've heard this story before they were talking about hurricane Ian people died in that storm. A 17 year old should not be left alone to deal with that along with three other kids and an infant
Exactly. Several years ago I had a pretty traumatic spine surgery and had to stay in the hospital for a week. At the time we had a 6-month-old baby and 2 dogs. (Luckily it wasn’t hurricane season. I don’t know if I could have dealt with that added stressor) I was alone in that hospital room at least 98% of my stay. My husband came to see me when he could, but young children weren’t allowed on that hospital floor, so I only saw him for 10 or 20 minutes before he had to leave and pick up the baby. I had to make do with phone calls after the baby had gone to bed. I’m not saying it was easy. It wasn’t. It was _hard_ and I think not enough people talk about the depression that can set in when you have hospital stays that last longer than a few hours. But the thing is, I understood. I understood that my baby and even my dogs took priority in my husband’s life. Because my needs were being met by the nurses and he had his hands full enough. The last thing I wanted to do was heap even more on top of my husband. A person can only take so much.
That last story, it is rough being hospitalized alone. The isolation does weird things to a human brain. It isn't uncommon for people to just try to sleep at all times until they are released just to escape the loneliness. Both times I've been hospitalized I was there alone and I cried every time I woke up because I wanted my mom or husband there with me, especially when you are in for something serious and scary it is hard to rationalize why people can't sit with you through it all.
Hell. I'm healthy and at home, and sometimes when I'm having a really hard day, it's hard to not feel resentment towards friends I'd like to spend time with, but are busy with legit life things, like work. Human brains aren't very rational, and I think RSlash was very fair to that husband. Poor guy is really going through something horrific.
I was hospitalised at the height of the pandemic, not for the virus. It was a bit lonely with visitors not allowed, only having the nursing staff to speak to -- but considering I'd been living at home alone, isolating because of multiple health things, I actually got way more human contact than I had been. It was nice feeling taken care of... if not quite worth being seriously ill, lol!
I'm truly sorry this happened to you. I understand exactly what you are saying other than the sleeping part. The whole time I was in the hospital I hardly ever got to sleep because basically every other hour there was either a nurse, lab tech, or Dr checking in on you. But none of my family was allowed to visit me, even though my mom was fully vaccinated, they still wouldn't let her in. And when you're constantly hearing code blues, code reds, and once or twice a code black, you start to become more anxious to get out of the hospital.
@@drwboy07 I guess I am a really heavy sleeper so I was able to zonk out through as much as possible, and the pain meds helped with that, but after so much sleep at some point ya just cant anymore.
@@suitov I was in with a serious liver infection (idk how that even happens but apparently i coulda died o_o) Nurses really deserve all the credit they can get, even though I felt awful and lonely the lady that was taking care of me was so wonderful and i felt almost like my mom was caring for me, albeit with IVs and ice baths rather than chicken soup and kisses.
Story 4: she wanted to call the cops over make up. Wedding or not, party or not, the girl she made leave wasn't a guest at the party, she wasn't invited. She was working! Not to mention, as someone whose worked with food and in the service industry, there are typically lots of rules of what you can and can't wear when it comes to your makeup, clothing, and hair. The girl was working and was clearly well within her works rules if her boss didn't have a problem with it.
So you can control what unpaid guests wear but not people you are paying? Not saying OP is right (although the biggest AH was the company that said they would accomidate OP when they couldn't) but I don't know if I buy the reasoning in any situation that people should have more leeway when being paid then a guest that costs the host nothing for attending.
@@RRW359 She told her guests what to wear. She didn't give any rules to a catering staff. So guests would be a guilty one, but waitress was not. She was punished for OP's insecurites and imprudence, not for something she did. The thng is, "host can decide who will stay and who will go" rule is morally gray. Yes, they can decide, but if they are not objective and fair - they are an a-hole.
@@ajanija1590 Nobody is arguing that she isn't an AH for not telling the catering company beforehand, it's wheather or not she is after that that's what people disagree with. We also don't know what happened to the waitress after she left, didn't hear OP demand anything other than she leave, and if the catering company did penalize her that's on them rather then OP. And who decides what is reasonable in terms of accomidations? I think the whole white thing is stupid but a lot of people don't see the issue with kicking people out based on it.
@@ShieldLover22 She would have had to drive back later anyways. If the company paid her for the full day then I don't know what the problem is but if they didn't then it's management that's at fault rather than OP, at least when it comes to kicking her out. Also if the company put their foot down and said they couldn't do their service without her rather then agreeing to OP's terms and then disregarding them it would be a different story.
Also worth noting in story 1 is the brother saying "you can be alone and play piano all day long" he was quite literally mocking her for being sad and alone after her husband died.
I love that you're justifying bridezilla because "omg it's her wedding!" I'm a bride and it's not ok to take money out of someone's life because you're jealous. You're hot takes get more and more wild dude.
3rd story: I was in a similar situation to that kid. There is a nickname to my name, that causes me severe anxiety when used to refer to me. (combination of undiagnosed autism, bullying classmates and some useless teachers) Once, a waiter during an event decided to call by that name. I asked him repeatedly to stop, however, everyone around insisted to join in, as it's a beautiful name and it fits me. In the end, everyone called me by that name and I had to hide in the toilet to hide my meltdown. The next day, I got chewed out for being rude and disrespectful. Would have been nice, if anyone stood up for me back than the way op does for his son.
There is never a valid reason to give away someone’s keepsakes/ stuff that reminds them of someone important. You cannot assure that the piano won’t get sold, destroyed, regifted or whatever - so basically, they stole the late husband’s gift and now decline to return it. Why? Because they felt annoyed and wanted to be treated like kings in another person’s house. Or maybe they did sell it, that’d be even more despicable.
I guarantee they threw it out or destroyed it. They made excuses about returning it and got scared by the threat of police, because the piano doesn't exist anymore.
Yes, it's the brides' wedding and she can ask people to wear less makeup or not dress in anyway that would outshine her as the bride. But if she is so insecure that she feels that a server will outshine her in her wedding gown then she has bigger problems and yes, is an AH on the scale of 3. When you threaten the caterer with having to call the cops to remove the server that was over the top and tells me that OP is going to have a short marriage.
The piano story bugs me a lot. I hope OP got it sorted. It's especially frustrating because when or if she gets that piano back, she'll have to get it tuned again since it was moved.
I mean, you can kick whoever you want out of your wedding but all your guests are going to be watching how and why you kicked someone out. My whole thing is that it seems a lot of brides these days cannot stand not having the attention on them 100%. I'd love for the attention to be scattered my wedding night because I HATE being the center of attention for too long.
@@sourisvoleur4854 Wrong how, they were still the center of attention. Just because they weren’t being treated like an exhibit at the zoo doesn’t change that. Try again.
@@black1917 Maybe you don't understand what "attention" means. If somebody's not watching or listening to you, you're not the center of their attention.
I hope the first OP pressed charges against her brother and sister in law for stealing her piano. The cost to properly move a grand piano or even baby grand piano would be significantly higher than someone who can't afford to pay rent could afford to pay. So if it really is in a place garage then it's most likely in pieces. Also when I found what I believe to be the original post there were no updates. Although because Rslash doesn't provide links to the original stories I may have found a duplicate post
From what I got, in one of the comments on here, they said that they found OP's social media and they said that OP got her piano back and her brother is still banished
Story 1: The absolute nerve of someone to live in someone's house in their time of need, set rules, and then steal. NO misunderstanding. Very glad OP didn't back down.
No joke, back on my Navy ship (early 1980s), we got a new officer named Lt. Robin Hood. I didn't know at first, so I am on quarterdeck watch, someone calls in wanting "Robin Hood". I snarkily answer "No Robin Hood here, let me go get Little John." Oops! Yeah, I got chewed out. I deserved it. 😳
Story 1: I can't stand family member that thing they can do whatever they want and you're supposed to just let it slide, especially when it comes to siblings. And after you let them live in your house rent free. You're being too nice honestly, you gave them two days me personally I would have given them 2 hours. And when they try to blackmail you with your own stolen property 2 minutes.
OP was more than generous - if I was brother/his family, I would be worshipping at OP's feet. Maybe politely requesting that she keep the piano music to X-X time, but CERTAINLY not stealing from her. If I REALLY had that much of a problem with piano music, then I'd find a way to afford to move out, not STEAL HER FUCKING PIANO. Brother is an entitled asshole and Mother is the reason why - they are all rotstains on this person's life, and I wish her husband was around so that she wouldn't be on her own if she cut them out.
For that wedding - She should've informed the waiting staff prior to the wedding about a dress-code. She is the A for complaining about that one kid and making them get sent home. The bridezilla was making it worse for herself, she should've focused on her own experience, happiness, she could've ignored the girl, there are so many things she could've done better. Definitely 4/5 A Points
Fourth one: You mentioned that you thought it wouldn't have mattered if the server had been kicked out for being too pretty/ too ugly. From this story I get the feeling that had the bride considered this server to be "uglier" than her or if the clothes weren't quite as fitted she wouldn't have cared at all. I think it's the fact this server has an outfit that clings a bit more to her and appears potentially "prettier" that Godzilla-Jealousy mode has been activated. By the same mentality if one of her guests potentially had a more figure-hugging outfit even in the toned down colour scheme they'd have probably been booted too
Story 1: Sentimental or not, the fact is OP’s brother and SiL stole a grand piano from her property. If the grand piano is as expensive as Rslash says, then she has a case to press charges. Honestly, she should’ve called the cops the moment she finished yelling at the brother. No waiting for two days. Two days is plenty of time to damage a piano. At least if she called the cops right then, the piano will either be located immediately or OP will just have sued the couple
OP didn't say it was a grand, but even a used upright piano, or a smaller version, is a hefty piece of equipment. You have to keep them tuned, especially after moving them. You can't just throw them around and shove them in garages. (I guess there's a fair chance RS is right and it was really sold.)
Idk I think it was weird of the bride to be so obsessed with the waitresses instead of just enjoying her special day. The wedding day is supposed to be the fun part, not the part where you're still stressing about things being perfect
"It's my wedding" WRONG! It's TWO people's wedding. I'm sick of hearing the excuse that it's only the special day of one person and not the couple as a whole. If I ever find out I'm at the wedding of a bridezilla I am walking out.
My husband let his friend, wife, infant, and 2 dogs live with us for around 5 months. I was miserable the whole time because his friend did whatever he wanted when he wanted. He trashed the house, let his dogs use the bathroom wherever they wanted, let them go in the kitchen, and would get irritated with me when I would tell him to clean up his messes. His wife is sweet and tried to keep up with the mess but she also had the baby to look after since he never wanted to watch her. I would complain to my husband but he said they needed help more than me. It made me feel crazy and alone. I hated being in my own house. I started going out more and working more hours to stay away from them all. I was so miserable and no one cared. Eventually, I stopped cleaning up their messes and let the house go into disarray. It was embarrassing but I got tired of being the maid. It looked like a hoarder house. It stank like pee and wet dog. Trash was everywhere. Floors were sticky from the urine and covered in dirt. Their dogs ripped up the carpet and literally ATE part of our laundry room door. Did I mention they didn’t pay rent either? But somehow I was rude when I asked them to clean or to stop letting their dogs urinate all over my floors. I felt so depressed from it all that I started having bad thoughts. I used to love my home. It smelled like brownies and was always clean. But his friend made it hell for me. It angers me when I hear how guests treat the people who are letting them live under their roof. I told my husband after they moved out that they were never living with us again. He said, if they need the help, they will. I told him no. If he ever lets them move back in, I will leave. I will pack my bags and fly back home. I will never sacrifice my mental health for anyone ever again.
OMG, that’s a total nightmare!!😱 It’s not my business of course, but your husband sounds like a d-bag. Let me guess: HE didn’t clean up after his friend or the dogs either. How could he be okay with how HIS house was trashed??? I’m so sorry they were so awful. Good for you for putting your foot down with your husband! He sounds like an a-hole too. P.S. do you have your own emergency $ stash like a savings account, your “F*** you” money? My mother always advised me to have one.
While Rslash is technically right about the wedding story and the bride having a right to a private party she still deserves a higher score for being a Karen and threatening to call the cops on a server that was only doing her job.
On the third story about OP's son's name, I'm totally onboard with dad (OP). Admittedly, my first name is very unusual and is usually mistaken for "Paris". I've even been called Karen Smith on a couple of occasions because my first and last name combined sound just like that. However, I had this one Algebra teacher in 9th grade who insisted on calling me "Kay-Harris". I told her on multiple occasions that it's pronounced "Care-iss". The first couple times, I gave her a pass, as my name is pretty unusual and is also unisex, just like Robin's name. However, the 4th or 5th time I had to remind her, I got irritated and started literally spelling it out how it sounded at the top of my assignments. She *still* called me "Kay-Harris". She called me "Kay-Harris" all year and it bugged the ever-loving life out of me. Despite it's uncommon use, my name is easier to pronounce than it sounds. It's two syllables... "Care-iss". That's it
Rslash, for the wedding story. Yes, I generally agree with you that anyone attending a wedding can be kicked out by the bride at her will. But she wasn't attending. She was working the wedding as a server. Hired help. Not there to celebrate the couple. And I'm just thinking, would she rather have servers dressed as slobs or something. She came in professional attire and that OP didn't do her job. - Not once in that story did it say that the employee wasn't in a work uniform. Just that the bride didn't like the way the regulation uniform fit the problem server.
OP is definitely TA in story four. She’s way too jealous and that’s honestly pathetic. No one is outshining the bride on her own wedding day, least of all a random server. She needs to grow up. She lacks maturity and self esteem and making that everyone else’s problem.
The name story hit home for me. My name is Havah, sounds like lava. It's continuously mispronounced by almost everyone. Unless they just LOVE fiddler on roof. 🙄 A coworker who constantly said my name wrong was asked by his gf, also a coworker. Why don't you just say her name correctly? He brushed it off and said it's a nick name anyway. I said, no that's what my parents named me, it's not short for anything. It's just Hebrew not English. He was shocked. I'm sure as a black American he knows many people with non Anglo-Saxon names.
How do you pronounce your name? Admitted to not seeing it before - and I love learning new names and where they come from, and I am guessing how it's meant to be said
My name is a variant spelling of the name 'Leonna' (pronounced lee-AW-nuh). My parents, in their infinite wisdom, *combined two different spellings* to get my legal name. I've been called Leeohnah, Leeannah, Lahunna, Lawahna, Louwahna, Louanna, and plenty more. As an adult, I started going by Lia just because I got so fucking tired of no one bothering to read/learn my actual name. My parents aren't even Mormon or anything that would give them a reason to be ~unique~ in their kid's spelling. I still cannot fathom why they thought it was a good idea.
@@TwighlightLugia the struggle is real. Having a not "normal " name means nobody can pronounce it. Except toddlers, they have the easiest time with my name.
I hate hearing "I wanna stand out during the wedding" -- I get it's your wedding, but you're not there to stand out, you're there to marry someone you love.The fact you would dictate to people what to wear or how to look, without people coming to look their best at an event that is celebrating the union of two people, I think you're very short sighted. If someone told me I was too dressed up, I would get the ugliest shirt with a pair of sweat pants and ask them if that was better.
Exactly! My parents had a halloween wedding and told people to dress in costumes. Some people had inflatable costumes, some were big and bright and sparkly, some were dark and spooky, you got every kind of costume you could think of and it was so much fun!! But no matter how frilly and glittery and poofy someone's costume was, everyone was staring at my mom in her simple black dress and my dad in his unicorn skull button-down. They didnt have to be "best dressed" or over-the-top or tell others not to outshine them. It was a day to celebrate their love for each other and have fun with friends and family.
I actually can relate directly to the last story (accident)... My husband was just in the hospital for immunotherapy for cancer (30 days in - ICU stay and recovery). I was there between 4-8 hours each day depending on my job. I had to go back home and work late into the evening (before I went to sleep for the night). We also have 3 rabbits to tend to. The hospital was an hour away, 1 way. My husband understood I couldn't stay there 24/7. He looked forward to when I arrived, and I left every night at 9pm after he fell asleep. But he did have times where the loneliness overtook him, and he said he felt abandoned when I wasn't there until later in the day after work. He didn't feel that way when he got home though...there's just something about being stuck in a hospital that causes that. Marriage means you are there for your spouse...but dropping everything to hover 24/7 isn't reasonable. Yes, I understand "going through everything" by yourself is difficult...but to assume it means she isn't committed to the marriage, especially when there are children involved (step or bio doesn't matter), is kindof unreasonable. Especially when she IS coming into the hospital still. If he stopped and asked his wife how she was coping with everything, she'd probably say she is over-stressed, and everything is hitting on a raw nerve (I felt frayed the entire time and had a hair-trigger when it came to emotions). I don't think OP is more than a one- or two-star a-hole as he's sad and lonely...he gets his a-hole rating for not trying to also consider his wife...you know...the one he also swore to love in sickness and in health... I don't think she's the a-hole here either...she's probably really upset he's being inconsiderate when she is running around like a mad woman and trying to cover everything that is normally covered by 2 people. Everyone is stressed and not communicating except when they are really upset. Not good for the relationship.
The piano was definitely already gone forever when OP noticed it was missing. The brother almost certainly brought it to a landfill, or brought it to a field with some sledgehammers.
With the wedding thing, I get where Rslash is going with his explanation (I don't really agree), but threatening to call the cops on an employee doing their job should up the butthole score in my opinion
If you're so insecure on your wedding by a college kid then you deffo have issues. Also I kind of disagree with rslash yes it's her wedding you shouldn't exclude someone just because of there looks that's just rude and entitled of her
And what if she didn't want her there for others reasons like race, etc.
Also, the bride's description of 'too much makeup' was eyeliner. LOL The bride was just a jealous jerk. She was at her wedding obsessing over a server she only saw occassionally.
@@shadowmewfred09 yeah I have to agree there
@@shadowmewfred09 yeah you basically summed up my thoughts. Like if some random just rocked up who you didn't want or invite, then yeah, you can kick them out, but if someone working for a company you hired for a service doesn't measure up to expectations that you never communicated you shouldn't kick them out or threaten them. If you think about her perspective, she just went to work planning on having a normal day wearing what she normally would to work, and then you came out of nowhere being like "I don't like the way you look, get out or I'll call the cops", that's really unfair. In a perfect world she would still get paid for the hours she's missed out on, but having worked in the industry for a while I'm willing to bet that she was sent home early with no pay for the missed hours (or if they're required by law where she lives, she'll probably have to fight for it)
Two replies from someone who was actually a worker at that catering company for the 4th story:
After sending the post to my work gc I confirmed this is infact the same wedding. And I have screen shots of the texts I got sent during the wedding
Just to clarify some things I saw in the comment tho
1)our uniforms change depending on the weather this was a day time wedding in 90 degree heat so light weight long sleeve tops
2) the wedding was a 3 1/2 hour drive for most of us so our usual team of 15 people was cut to 9 (I wasn’t there cause the drive was too long and I’m not comfortable driving that far late at night)
3)she wasn’t fired but she did have to leave early…but that’s not a bad thing cause that means she didn’t have to clean up after the wedding and still got paid
4) jewelry is allowed at our job it just has to be simple which is what she had on simple jewelry and her engagement ring.
5) she was actually 18 and in high school. (She can bartend supervised since she’s 18)
6) makeup is allowed it just can’t be crazy makeup. So eyeliner specifically winged eyeliner which is what she had on is infact allowed.
7) we buy our own uniforms and are reimbursed for the cost. She accidentally shrunk her pants and hadn’t gotten the chance to get new ones
And
My coworkers and I are all laughing at this. Op seemingly left out the fact one of the fathers kept flirting with the staff, some of the guest got shit faced and tried to steal from the bar, ops wedding planner walked into the kitchen at one point and almost broke down crying, and the groom and groomsmen got way to high and left half smoked blunts all over the place
Edit: just to clarify this isn't me, but a comment from the reddit thread itself from a coworker who caught wind of it
Why doesn't this have more updoots?! Get this to the highest comment!
Wow. Thanks for more to the story!
Sounds super classy!
Thanks for that extra info lol.
Thanks for expanding on the story.
For some reason, reading this expansion on this story, sounds perfectly in line with what I actually expected this to be like.
Story 1: If mommy is so concerned about her precious son, she should take him in. It's clear she enables her son's shitty behavior.
Fr 😒
100% this!
Oh no, I disagree with you. I got married just last month so the whole being a bride mindset is still fresh in my mind. The server was wearing her work uniform, she wasn't wearing say, a white dress, or anything inappropriate for a wedding. Work uniforms fit different people in different ways. That can't be helped. If the amount of makeup and jewelry was a problem then the solution would have been to ask her to remove the jewelry and go into the restroom to remove some eyeliner so she could get back to work. Also Bridezilla is crazy if she thinks someone in her work uniform is stealing the spotlight. She's not. Bridezilla is jealous and insecure. She was the ONLY person there who likely even noticed the server beyond a person in the background doing her job, I guarantee it.
Agreed
100%
Like Mr. Redder gave this story his Karen voice after reading halfway through. Like Rslash is an idiot. Nose studs are super tiny and this woman is picking on someone seven years younger than herself and he's fine with it. What a dumbass.
Facts
I actually agree with R/
She is allowed to remove anyone she wants from the wedding. She isn't the butthole for deciding to remove someone, but the thoughts that got her there do make her a butthole
Forth story: I feel like rslash is confused about his rating. She is allowed, she is given the right to choose the wedding details to the most minuscule detail. That’s fine. You can still be an AH while exercising those rights. She used her power based on internal insecurities and unfair judgement. Which makes her an AH.
I agree with this. rslash was a bit inconsistent with his regular rating system here. He rates parents not spending money equally on their kids (which they totally have a right to do) as an AH thing to do, but not demeaning a caterer for... being to pretty? Being younger than her? My feedback would be that the last story was a bad rating.
That's what I say. Yes, she was well within her rights to kick anyone she wanted out of her party, but she's an asshole for kicking out a girl just because she didn't like the way she looked.
Maybe this is just me, but I (recently a bride) also think asking your guests to wear minimal makeup is weird too. I’m very into makeup and my go to for any special events is full glam. Based on this story, I have a feeling my version of minimal makeup would have still been too much lol. But I’m also the person that told all my friends I wanted them to look their best at my wedding
@@elizabethrepking7283 Telling guests to wear minimal makeup to me says, "I'm terribly insecure and I don't want anyone there to be prettier than me."
This is what I was going to say exactly. Is she *in the wrong* for kicking the server out? Technically, no. She’s well within her rights to do so. Is she *the asshole* for doing so? Absolutely yea.
When I was in high school I had a friend who’s name was Sue, not Susan. We had a teacher who insisted that we put our full names on any papers that we turned in. When she got her first test back she had 5 points deducted for “not her proper name”. Sue told her that was her name; she brought in her I.D. cards but this teacher was always right so she kept deducting points. It took Sue’s mother intervening for that nonsense to stop!
how is your friend doing today?
@@your_local_questerian she has had an extremely successful career in an very hard profession so dealing with this didn’t set her back, lol!
@@stuckinmopro8533 good on her. Sounds like she rose above the stupidity…
I would just ask my mom for my birth certificate and bring that to school and just show it to the teacher like "Look Sue is my legal name! Now give me back my five points!"
You could say...Sue could sue
I work at weddings/parties as a caterer, and if there’s any special requests (like wearing red vests to match the color scheme) we’re told in advance
Rslash is right for not making that clear, however, I feel like it’s not the server wearing too much makeup or looking too “revealing” and it’s just the brides insecurity
Wearing those shirts and vests and pants is Not sexy lmao, and you Have to talk to the people at the party to see if they want drinks or get their trash,, people love to talk so I wouldn’t be surprised if they just stopped her to talk lmao
Agreed. The server was likely just young and very attractive. Bridezilla just couldn't take it. 🤣🤣
I completely agree. They usually have some sort of consultation, asking if there's anything they specifically want, and this is absolutely ridiculous of the bride to ask
I'll be honest, from my wedding I don't remember a single staff member. I was so busy being a bride, talking to people, dancing, trying to sneak in a bite of food that I honestly feel bad that I couldn't thank them. (I had a wedding planner that took care of closing bills and everything else.)
How did this bride even have time to notice. Heck, all three of my bridesmaids were/are prettier than me, but I was the one in the big white dress so guess who was getting the attention?
This bride was too focused on her own vanity and went straight to Snow White's wicked stepmother.
👌👌👌
Hey, you never know what people think is sexy.
I had this problem with the name. My real name is Mandy, not Amanda. It's on my birth certificate. I got in trouble for not responding to "Amanda" when I was in kindergarten. When i informed the teacher that that wasn't my name, she yelled at me. I got sent to the principals office too. After insisting that it wasn't my name, they said, "we will call your parents'. My mom had to bring my birth certificate down to prove that my FULL name was Mandy and not a nickname. It was so annoying. And no, noone ever apologized.
Ugh. What's with our society being run by nicknames or these stereotypes. Almost like we get punished by not obeying and living in the stereotypes.
Even IF your name was Amanda and you simply preferred Mandy, it doesn't give weight to their argument. You still call people by whatever name they tell you to call them by
My real name is Katie. It's not short for anything, either. I can commiserate. Though, nobody has gone so far as to make my parent show them my birth certificate as proof of my name; that was truly effed up for the school to do to you and your mom. I don't understand why they wouldn't have just looked at the name you were registered for school with. If they didn't trust that for some reason, your mom's word should have been sufficient. I guess you got an early lesson in the ass-hattery of people. 😬
It's so bizarre that people just decide they know our names better than we (or our parents) do. I've found that once they convince themselves they're correct, they absolutely refuse to believe anything else. I don't understand why they become so fixated on being right about something that doesn't mean anything to them in the long run. People are weird. 🤷♀️
A similar story on here the girls actual name was Abby or some spelling of that but teacher, might have been a sub, tried calling her Abigail and since not her name no response until the teacher got mad stormed up to her and demanded to know why she didn't respond. When the girl explained the teacher didn't believe it's her real name and sent her to the principal
"I understand you Amanda"
Story 4: imagine being so insecure and hyperfixated on someone who is literally just doing their job.
Ummm...Wearing pants that are way too tight with a shirt that is designed to be very "reveling" in certain areas is completely inappropriate for a working environment where one needs to look professional! Nose rings are a no go in the professional world in my book! Single pierced ear lobes are fine! I think the boss should have just taken the girl home or to a store so she could change into or purchase some more appropriate work clothes. Pants that fit her properly and a nice, long sleeved button down shirt! Also, her boss should have made her remove her garish make-up and her nose ring! This is a private, formal wedding event, not a party at HOOTERS or a strip club!
@@MINGIRL1979 girl, I highly doubt the waitress looked like anything OP said. This post comes off as her being insecure and jealous.
Wearing makeup and jewelry doesn't automatically make someone more or less professional. As long as this lady was doing her job, why should it be an issue?
Ikr lmao, should tell the staffs to not wear make up at all rather than being ambiguous..
If the bride (in a wedding dress at her own party) can be "outshined" by a teen server in a standard uniform; that bride was ugly and basic AF to begin with!! 🙄🤣 I love that for the bride, she needs everyone to shine less so her dullness can even be noticed at her own wedding. 😂🤣😂😆🤣
@@MINGIRL1979 if it doesn’t impact their work at all how is it unprofessional? Also what the hell is up with your professional standards all being super sexist? Tight pants? You mean pants that fit? Because I GURANTEE if she wore baggy pants that would be “unprofessional” too. Your pathetic
I'm kinda freaking out about the piano story. Pianos are delicate instruments and can be ruined if not kept properly. And they are extremely expensive. Jail time for the brother.
In the first story, it's funny how OP's mom is calling her cruel for kicking out a thieving brother (because he DID steal a piano) but isn't cool enough herself to give his own son a place to stay.
Yeah there's a reason why she doesn't want son to stay with her, and it's probably because she raised a monster.
Probably didn't want them in her house for that exact reason.
Oh, she didn't want to take him in, what if he steals her stuff?? 😂
Yeah a piano is expensive and to sell someone’s stuff without your permission is just evil
Is there any updates
For the wedding story, people in the comments pointed out that OP ruined her own wedding because all she did was focus on this ONE server. She didn't greet guests, dance or really anything but stare and complain about this girl. She let someone wearing EYELINER dominate her wedding. I bet if she asked anyone at her wedding about the server, they wouldn't remember because THEY WERE FOCUSED ON THE WEDDING. OP sat at her own wedding, stewing mad because a young woman dared be prettier then her. I fear for what happens if OP has a daughter.
i feel like everyone is blowing a one moment thing out of proportion. someone getting a little antsy at the biggest event of their life and feeling slightly insecure doesn't mean they are a fucking monster.
@@jroxpone she harassed the staff and instead of having fun she was just harassing a young woman all day who was doing her job.
@@jroxpone She tried to have the girl fired and threatened to call the police ON A GIRL WEARING EYELINER. That's not a "tiny bit insecure".
Oof, that poor unfortunate soul who ends up being her child, let alone a daughter. The thought makes me shutter.
@@fandomgirl94 kinda is considering where i lilve people get shot for a lot less.
So Bridezilla got offended by a young woman (checks notes)
- wearing the appropriate work attire that happens to be a little more fitted for her
- wearing a normal amount of jewellery
- wearing eyeliner
Yeah lady, you ruined your own wedding by being hyper fixated on a person that didn’t do anything wrong.
And r/slash went Karen by backing the bridezilla
@@CanMav Y'all need to stop thinking these videos are supposed to be factual. Mainly he gave his opinion acknowledging that people would disagree with him and him understanding that. He did not back her up, he said that he understood where she was coming from but mainly was disagreeing with the type of people she painted herself as in the story.
Y'all are really annoying thinking that arse lash is always supposed to think the same way as you do. I disagree with OP and think she's fully the AH but Cheesus Crust, y'all can't stand people seeing things differently? The only viable reason to bash arse lash would be when he becomes judgemental for no reason, but he did nothing wrong if just seeing things differently.
Edit : I agree with the guy below, she was just all around a bad communicator and an annoying crybaby and what she did is plain wrong and babyish.
@@hiroshi7025 Y'all Y'all Y'all Y'all Y'all. Are you for real?
@@hiroshi7025 lulz, arse lash. Did you really just call him an ass licker? 😂😂
100% agree with this!
Story 1: OP posted on social media about "someone is keeping stolen property" and described the circumstances. She got her piano back and her brother remained banished.
Thanks. I really needed that closure 😅❤️👍
Thanks a tonne for the update!
She probably had to have the piano retuned after being moved and stored in that garage. The brother should pay for that as well
Really? Strange it wasn't on reddit, I was dying for an update on whether or not OP got their piano back. xD
Where did you find this? I only found a suggestion of this in comment section but not a proof she actually did it.
Robin Williams, one of the greatest comedic voices of all time and a top-notch actor in general. You don't have to look to fiction to find great men named Robin.
Though not as great. Robin from Emkay is a cool dude as well
Robin hood was a real person. The stories about him were fable but he does have a grave in England.
And Robin Thicke. But the highest Robin will always be Robin Williams. :)
Story 4: We own a catering company, in case of special events we must be inform in ADVANCE what the host wants us to wear. Yes the Wife has the authority to kick out anyone she wants however, by not informing the Staff before the wedding is a butthole move.
Wouldn't it be harassment or some form of deal breaker, or cause for extra charge, if the host harasses an employee for hours? Would you still pay the employee if you sent them home to please an unreasonable customer? If not, I think any boss would be an AH. I get needing to finish the job you are being paid for; however, sending an employee home (when they need that paycheck) because of a bad customer is too much.
Just out of my ADHD brain's rambling train of thoughts, and curiosity: do you have a clause(s) in your contract(s) that states something to the effect of "Any form of harassment, bullying, intimidation, discrimination (etc) of/against any member of [Company's Name]'s staff by a guest must be swiftly handled by the customer. Any of the above by the customer will be met with a single warning/reminder of contact terms. Any subsequent violations will result in [Company] leaving/ending service and the bill must still be paid in full."?
If not, though I'm no contract lawyer (or lawyer in general, lol), I would suggest adding it if possible.
@@hmspretender tbh it would be
Who tf complains about the outfit THAT IS A UNIFORM WHAT???
@@redrubyrose618 yeah, but it was this lady personally, so it is not the uniform but instead the presentation.
@@gon720 Presentation = This young girl was prettier than me, and couldn't let that stand.
These are the clients that drive you out of business because you constantly give in to their demands which threatens your employees' lively hood, so you're no longer safe employment.
Story 1: It's not blackmail. It's extortion.
Also, I'm not as concerned about the piano being sold as I am about it sitting in a cold, possibly damp, garage.
Bad, bad brother.
It turns out the brother bashed it into pieces, burned it to ashes, and hosed the ashes away in a swamp somewhere.
@@agentzapdos4960 did he really? Did OP say that in the comments?
@@agentzapdos4960 if that's the truth then he deserves 5-5 score because that is just cruel
@@lugismansion2400 cruel and just plain stupid because he could've gotten thousands off it if he made the effort to sell it. That sounds fake though I hope thats not true
@@stormwright8300 there is no update so he's just pulling this out of his ass
My daughter's name is Rachel. When she was little, the pediatrician's office would send statements with her name spelled any way they wanted to spell it. I told them several times how her name was spelled, but they ignored me. I finally had enough, and the next time I got one of those statements, I sent it back to them with a note that read 'I keep getting statements for some other child, so I wont be paying this'. They immediately sent another statement with her name spelled correctly. It was the first time I'd ever done something like that, and I gotta say, it felt good. That office staff was horrible. And that was over 40 years ago! Still feel good about it.
Haha, I love the logic you used. My grandma would call me Pauline (my name is Paula) and it confused my mom. I asked my grandma why she called me that and told me I don't know I think it sounds nicer. She was in her 80s so honestly I thought she was adorable (my mom too). I found out a dead family member was called Pauline, so I think I reminded her.
My name is Lisa. In middle school I had a Phys. Ed. teacher call me Liza. I was the only Lisa in the class. After about a week of correcting this I finally refused to answer. When I was marked absent from that class but no others they called my mom in to see what the problem was. She explained to the school, that I didn't answer because I never hear my name being called. This was also the same school who combined my first and middle name together for the first year on my transcripts. That took a year to fix.
Wedding story: she is 100% BH. 3:5 by my standards. She can make arrangements when it comes to guests, and to a minimal extent the wait staff. Divorce material right there
You get a boot she gets a boot he gets a boot you all get a boot from the wedding >:D yeah you would be amazed in GA how many people start stuff then get mad when they get insulted back.
"Robin is a girl's name."
Literally the most famous Robins, Robin Hood and Batman's Robin are boys.
Robin Williams
Most of the robins were male... not all.
I think there's like 1 female Robin in DC at most.
I keep thinking of Robin from HIMYM but I also knew a male Robin (a total dick) at school
I always thought the feminine version was Robyn
Fourth story: OP is the AH for being insecure over the appearance of a wedding server. I seriously doubt this woman intended to upstage the bride. Yet OP threatened to call the police over the appearance of the hired help. She needs to get over her insecurities, and I feel really bad for her husband.
OOP tripled down in the comments
I’d like to peak in her husband & MIL mind
It wouldn’t have escalated that far had she just been asked to go home. She should have been offered her full night’s pay and tipped generously.
@Ell The Storm and Sea yeah, but the boss did mention that they were short staffed so that is why they didn't want to send her home right away. I get it's op wedding, but to be so worried that you're going to be outdone by a server is just stupid.
@@WiseMfear3 if she isn't there she isn't getting tips... Legally she can't be part of the pool. So she'd probably make like 30$ instead of nearly a grand. Her request was initially to have her out of sight not to see d her home.
Her issue with her was literally that she was too pretty, and didn’t want people to look at the waitress instead of her… smh
I would’ve commanded Robin to stop responding to Robert. Then when the weirdo comes over, demanding that he listens to her or asking to know why he’s ignoring her, he’s just to say:
“Oh, I never heard you say my name”
“Yes, silly, I’ve been calling Robert for a few minutes now”
“Oh well, that’s not my name…why would I respond to someone else’s name?”
“It IS your name, come along Robert, we’re going to speak with the principal, you’re going to be punished for disrespecting me”
*Robin doesn’t get up to go with her*
“ROBERT. I said come with me”
*crickets*
“ROBERT!”
“Ma’am, there’s no Robert here…if you mean to address me, please use my name, otherwise I won’t know that you’re talking to me”
*I walk up*
“Where the heck is my son?”
“He’s right here, Robert is refusing to listen to me”
“I don’t have a son named Robert. Perhaps you’d have more success if you looked for ROBIN”
When I was younger I was a little brat when people mispronounced my name at school.
I’d just sit there and smile as they stumbled over my name: Kaylee, Kylee.
After three attempts I’d finally take pity on them and tell them the correct way to pronounce my name.
If they were passing stuff out with our names on them but my name was spelled wrong I wouldn’t take it because that wasn’t me and we’re not supposed to take stuff not meant for us.
@@kalifogg6610 is it pronounced like “Cali” the short form of California?
@@Arob4343 I believe so, my mom’s admitted that she wishes that she spelled my name Kaliegh or Kallie.
Usually this results in the child suffering more. Keep in mind adults abuse their power over children they deem "difficult".
Bride OP sounds like the type of person that when she says "OUR dream wedding" and "OUR dream catering" she really means "I threw a tantrum and nagged my fiancé until I got what I wanted." There was likely no mutual agreement, just her going back to "It's MY big day" and her poor husband likely got NO say in anything.
Maybe he can get HIS way in the divorce.
And she's probably yet another person who focuses way too much on the wedding and not on the actual marriage. But imagine being jealous of some college age girl just because she's wearing makeup and jewelry...
@@dx1450 yeah, i usually find that everyone who tends to have such granular control over every detail of the wedding does nothing to maintain the relationship afterward
That marriage is going to be about as stable as the isotopes in Chernobyl’s basement with the level of jealousy and insecurity within the bride.
Fr if she's already insecure about a server imagine how she is when her husband goes to a restaurant and there's women there
It's a joint Facebook account just waiting to happen 🤣🤣
while i agree its really weird behavior on bridezillas side, im also thinking thats a weird catering company if they keep pushing her back in with the guests when bridezilla said she didnt want her there.
@@yunthi they said they were short staffed. Of course they wouldn't want to send home a perfectly capable worker if they could at all avoid it.
I really feel bad for the husband, but then again, he chose her.
First two stories: I hate when people steal from family, and get surprised when the victims don’t treat them like family.
How much y’all wanna bet that the server in the 4th story wasn’t actually wearing something flashy and was wearing a completely normal amount of eyeliner and normal jewelry?
It's likely, considering how OP started describing her looks and making emphasis on her UGLY nose stud. Like I don't like piercings but just making a jab at that plus her whole attitude just reeked of envy. Another detail, she never mentioned anyone but her noticing the server, not even the groom. It's not HER special day, it's THEIR special day and she threw a tantrum instead of playing as a team.
I agree. And my guess is she is a more curvy woman (large chest, butt, and/or thighs)-and as a curvy woman? I gotta say, any normal piece of clothing suddenly becomes “too provocative” because clothing conpanies still suck at accomadating to a person who has even a semblence of a butt or boobs… or stomach.
@@starbird3939 Also it's on the manager/boss of the catering company to make sure that the uniforms fit properly.
@@imzadi83fanvids7 you really think every company ever is having a tailor measure some teenager to custom fit them a uniform for one summer a year? I wish I lived in your reality.
Bride was just insecure. Still a butthole though.
Story 3: Imagine refusing to use someone's real name because "it's a boy/girl's name and the person is a girl/boy". I don't know what is wrong with this mom, but she needs to stop
Red flags, red flags, I tell you!
If Elon Musk can name his kid an abstract series of characters, anyone can be called an actual name, regardless of whether or not it's traditionally a boy/girl name.
let's just hope she never has a trans kid because she clearly would have an issue. Anyone that obsessed with boy/girl names does
It also smacks of transphobia... “you’re incorrect about your name, you aren’t following the gendering i think is correct here”
You know if she had a trans kid in her class she’d be an unholy terror to that child.
The fact that she said that Robin is a girl name even though the name is unisex just like the names Alex and Charlie also Kelsey.I can tell that she’s never heard of Batman and Robin because if she did then she wouldn’t have said that Robin is just a girl name.
Bride was absolutely an AH. She has the right to choose who attends but her methods and motives are what make her the AH. She could have handled this better. Make sure the server is compensated for the evening and ask her boss to excuse her with no hard feelings or ask her to remove the jewelry and makeup. There were better ways to handle this
Second Story: This is literally the epitome of "Fuck around and find out." The lawyer *explicitly* told the family "DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING UNTIL WE GET THERE, OR WE WILL SUE." And the family decided to take things, so the lawyer sued. What the fuck did they expect to happen?
Rslash: allow me to be a soft and gentle voice of reason
Also rslash: starts yelling
Story 4: Fine to kick the staff out but expect the service to suffer. Also that boss better pay her the full shift or else the boss is an a*hole
Boss is already the AH for both lying to the customer that they could accomidate her and not going to bat for the employee they forced to work against both OP's and probably her wishes.
I’ll never get that „it’s my wedding so everyone has to be super plain on purpose“ mentality. Imagine being to insecure that you tell everyone to look ugly so you look good in comparison
Now that I think of it, you have a point. Literally forcing every women to look worse just so she can shine above the rest (not saying women have to wear makeup to look good btw)
Rslash, you're dead wrong about the bridezilla thing. As a waiter who served at many weddings, this is actually harassment. She harassed the waiter (and boss) over and over again. She came to their workplace and continually disrespected the staff.
They're catering at the venue she rented, she's in control of who belongs where, no matter how insane she is.
@@skorpiongod Yes she does, but she's not paying her salary, something Rslash said. She's paying to be there and for the services they provide her. No one is saying she can't decided who does or doesn't belong there, but it sets a bad look when your reaction to your own stupidity is to harass someone else. These people are working. Why would they conform to your wedding standards when not told and take the chance of being mistaken for a guest rather than a server? If she didn't want this as an issue she probably should have communicated her feelings rather than immediately assuming malicious intent
@@skorpiongod That doesn't matter, she would still be the asshole. Would you have the same energy if they kicked out the server because of their race or ethnicity? Like having a right to do something doesn't make you not the asshole if that thing is a shitty thing to do
@@clickbaitcrill3394 race and ethnicity is quite different from wearing too much jewelry
I do wonder if she explained why she wanted the server gone. Couldn't she have started with "I think you're wearing too much make up and jewelry, so can you please take that off?" Like, that's a semi-reasonable thing to ask on your wedding I think. The thing about her clothes being too tight could even be fixed with an apron or something, dunno. There's usually nice ways to communicate stuff like this xD
4th story: i think rslash focused to much on wether the bride had the right to send her away or not. she had every riht to do so but she was the buttjole solely because of the reasoning behind it. the server wasn’t wearing anything to flashy,her having eyeliner on isn’t distracting anyone from the bride
I feel like firing someone based on looks and gender is discrimination. You can have a party but firing someone based on those reasons is illegal in most places. This is AITA, not is this my decision
@@KaiAstraStylist i agree with most of this stuff but where in the sam hill did gender come out of?
@@KaiAstraStylist gender is playing a really minor role here. OP Threw her out because she felt like this female server was out staging? overstaging? what ever, looking better then OP. it maybe because shes a girl. but that is not why they were kicked out. it would be discriminations to fire someone over gender. but not looks.
She told her guests what colors to wear and dictated their makeup? WTF? I asked people to come to my wedding and was happy that they did.
Okay, imo colour themes in weddings are fairly common so I don’t see issue with that - but I do agree with you on the makeup part, that was weird. You should just be happy that the people that support you decided to come to your wedding 😞
Story 2: you know what else was harsh, stealing from a deceased family member after being told repeatedly that they were under no circumstances a laugh to go to the house before you and your sister. Ask Grandma how can she justify stealing thousands of dollars worth of family memories like that.
I can't stand those kinds of family members. They are like vultures waiting for someone to pass away just so they can immediately steal their stuff
My grandmother had an apartment fire a few years ago and had help from her classmates to start going through stuff to throw away. One of them felt entitled enough to tried and grabbed items that were in the smoke filled house it was unbelievable. Like my grandmother had to start over because she lost over 70% of her stuff and her classmate wanted stuff that should not be save.
Hope these AHs enjoy their jailtime. 😡
"Do X and the cops will be called" Is a pretty hard thing to argue is unfair. Like, sure sure they can, but if a business says "Do X and we'll call the cops" you wouldn't call THEM harsh. Same deal. It always boggles my mind when someone in these is like "Here is literally what I'm going to do if you do this ONE SPECIFIC thing" and the person does it and then is like "Don't you think you're being unreasonable doing the thing you LITERALLY TOLD ME IN DETAIL YOU'D DO!?" ... like XD no wtf. It's not like they sprung this on you. The ENTIRE family was warned. Also even if they weren't, literal theft. And stealing from a dead person I think in some places can have EXTRA consequences.
Wedding story: I think rslash falls into a bit of a trap sometimes where legality is viewed as a get out of jail free card.
Bridezilla might have been entitled to kick anyone out if the party she (presumably) paid for but… her reasons and how she does it, do matter. She can 100% be entitled to her behaviour and still be a butthole by engaging in it.
Exactly 💯
Oh for sure. Like yeah I guess she has the right to kick out the server but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve a butthole score. I’d say 3/5 buttholes for ruining her own wedding and shaming a random server for her body
Honestly this.
It's not r/AmILegallyAllowedToDoThis. It's a sub where people come to ask if they acted like an ass, so legality really shouldn't be that big of a factor in these things cuz... Just because something is legal, doesn't mean it's not a shitty thing to do.
Doing something you can do, but is shitty, is like the definition of being an arsehole. Even then, she signed contracts, and jumped to getting the police involved.
Yea, the conclusion sounded so capitalist, its not even funny. "she paid, so she can be a bitch"
Story 4: imagine being so insecure that you think a waitress with too much eyeliner will outshine you on your wedding day.
I don’t think she’s the butthole for wanting her wedding I’m a certain way, but she needs to tell the people she hires what she expect of them. And I’m willing to bet a small amount of money that she’s the type of person that would kick out a waitress even after learning that they’re low of staff and then complain that the service is slow!
Yeah, you know that server was just young and attractive. OP was so jealous she was ruinin her own wedding over it. Pathetic.
I know someone who caters if an employee of his was threatened with cops over something so stupid he would have just completly pulled all his staff and left
Apparently Rslash don't care. It's HER wedding so therefore she can be a nasty ass Karen all she wants and that server is evil for being herself. Someone needs to get the jaws of life. Rslash's head is far up his butt again.
Yeah, she is that type of person, because I was thinking "why can't the server just wipe off the eyeliner and take out her piercings? Problem solved!". And then I remembered "oh right, she body shamed the server because her pants were "to fitted". OP is like a vulture, she was looking for someone to circle and have a problem with and no matter what the server or management did, she'd still have an issue.
I work in customer service vultures like her are everywhere
It’s not just HER wedding though, it’s her husbands, he also has a say in who stays and goes, and the husband was fine with it, she was being heavily insecure and awful, she deserved higher
4th story: OP is acting like a literal child because a bartender will outshine her on her most beautiful wedding with a marriage that will just last a year tops. Think about what consequences could happen by the bartender losing her job , what is she was paying rent with it and got thrown out into the streets etc!
Story 3: NTA; she's intentionally not listening and OP has done everything to correct her, but since she's so insistent that she *knows* what the kid's "real names" are means she shouldn't be interacting with these kids.
With that attitude the mom has, I am 100% sure she'd be transphobic too. If she's doing this to kids imagine what she'd be with trans individuals and their names. That mom would be deadnaming all over the place. Hell she flat out said "Robin's a GIRL's name" . She sounds transphobic af with the way she's acting.
@@AngelinaParker oh yeah, as a trans adult, I wouldn't feel comfortable around her at all.
My full legal first name has four letters and one syllable. I once met some guy who imagined an entire _secret, actual, long, real name_ for me, four syllables and taken from pop culture, and called me that without asking. Like, excuse you, dude, no disrespect to your headcanon, but that's... not my name? And EVEN IF it were, I introduced myself as _this_ name, which means you call me this name, period.
She sounds like the type who doesn't believe in unisex names, I'm can image what "genius name she'd pick for Emile (chuggaaconroy)
@@AngelinaParker Definitely transphobic just based on what she said, and how she treats their names. Like literally refusing to call a girl Charlie because she thinks it's a boy's name, so making up a 'full name' for her based on it, and not backing down when told otherwise. And then the same with Robin.
Brother: "Take it easy and be rational!!"
Also brother: **Steals OP's piano, a treasured heirloom, and refuses to give it back**
Wow, look at who is talking.
My thoughts exactly
I had a best friend from the time i was 11 to about 26, and ANY time I came to her parent’s house and her father was home, he’d purposely call me any name EXCEPT my actual name. Sometimes multiple different names in the same visit. It is absolutely a form of disrespect and it’s demeaning. I really hated that man.
I don’t know what’s more concerning:
- A good amount of people on the AITA don’t know that they’re being surrounded by toxic people
- or there is more bad people in this world than we thought
Idk about you but I always assume there are 9 billion bad people in the world so AITA is proving the opposite to me.
Probably both.
Story 4: Rslash came to the right conclusion but the wrong thinking. You can't just throw staff out over your own insecurities.
Legally you can doesn’t mean you aren’t an asshole for doing it though
Fifth story: OP is mad that his wife is taking care of their children and that SHE WENT HOME TO PREPARE THE HOUSE FOR A HURRICANE? FFS, call a chaplain or a social worker if you need to talk to somebody. Don’t dump on your wife when she’s no doubt already stressed out. We encouraged family members to go home and rest when I worked for a hospital. She cannot take care of OP if she isn’t taking care of herself, and she will not be taking care of herself if she just stays at the hospital 24/7. The fact she stayed until 4:00 am the night of the accident really goes to show her dedication. I hope rSlash is right and he’s just loopy from the pain medicine.
If I remember right, this was Hurricane Ian as well, the one that just happened and put areas of Florida under 15feet of water [and some of that was in areas that "weren't supposed to flood"]. And that storm was so historically large it literally had a piece that was stretched up the ENTIRE EAST COAST attach to one of it's arms and kind of become a part of it. Plus the dang thing was only a few miles an hour shy of being a Cat 5 hurricane AND was bigger than the entire state of Florida. So YEAH that 100% comes first!! [Especially since he was in a hospital, likely a very safe place to be due to generators and prep for hurricanes they do]
First Story, NTA: First off how did they manage to steal a piano?! Second, OP’s brother and his wife are lucky that OP didn’t press charges immediately. OP’s brother and his wife are actually doing this in someone else’s house. OP needs to press charges now. Why can’t OP’s mom take them in?!
Second Story, NTA: I can’t stand family members who act as vultures the moment a family member dies. This shows how much they value the family member that died they have of them. OP did warn them
Third Story, NTA: It would be a different story if it was an accident and she just met the kid for the first time but in this case this lady is blatantly disrespecting OP and his son. Purposely calling someone the wrong name is disrespectful. Glad things worked out in the end
Fourth Story, YTA: Another case of a bridezilla. I bet that no one but OP cared about this server. I feel bad for OP’s husband. I disagree with the score, I’d say 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Mind u, the server was WORKING there she wasn’t a guest. She is jealous over someone just doing their job. OP has some serious issues to be threatening to call the cops over a 19 year old for wearing the right work clothes, a little bit of jewelry, some eye liner, and for being young. OP ruined her own wedding for no reason at all but her own insecurities
Fifth Story, YTA: OP is being selfish. Sure what OP went through is not good at all but OP’s wife is taking care of a bunch of kids during a hurricane
They’ve earned a free ticket to hell
@@pandoratheclay I’ll take one
Same
The bridezilla is just horrible! Idk how Rslash is saying she's not..
@@Swnsasy agreed, like I said I bet she was the only one who even cared or noticed that the server was even wearing make up
Regarding the wedding story: To me it sounded like the girl would not get payed. So she lost a day of work. Wearing make up is a normal thing in the service industry, I assume. You want to look put together. You also want to be friendly. So the girl did everything right, but then was punished for it.
I think the bride should have paid her for her full shift and tipped her very generously.
And the too much makeup was described was 'wearing eyeliner'. Um...what? Bride is just jealous of a more attractive woman at her wedding. It's pathetic.
@@fdm2155 right OP is TA no excuse and funny how only her Mother and MOH are agreeing with her.
also I might be the only one saying this but yes Rslash did do a hot take on that story
I feel if the waitress wore no makeup, the bride'd get mad that 'she didn't respect my event by making herself look nice.'
If she's not paid for the day, she would have pretty good grounds to sue as, despite what OP and rSlash think, this was retaliation and harassment by her employer. She did nothing wrong and performed her duties as she was expected to. Though with such a pussy for a manager I can only guess why they're short staffed, this likely wasn't the first time and the other employees that would have been there likely quit because of similar treatment.
Immagine the priority of the bridezilla to have "I want to be the most prettiest person here so I set some rules and will assume the service people would do the same," than "These people are sharing one of my happiest life event" is truelly incredible.
First story: id say 5/5 honestly, they stole and maybe even sold one of the very few things op had that made her feel connected to her deceased husband, having something that precious to you suddenly ripped away would most likely cause someone to breakdown emotionally and the worst part is that they did that while living with her presumably rent free and that's how they treat her?
Final story: OP is the AH here. I'm not without sympathy for OP who must have been in serious pain in the days after the accident. However, there are children involved, including a 1 year old. HIs wife is literally juggling this situation with her parental responsibilities. She needs to be there for them as well as her husband. I hope rSlash is right that this is the pain meds messing with him.
It's so weird how Rslash is blaming the meds because yes, OP is being completely trash. He's even upset that she didn't drive during a hurricane? The poor woman had to juggle 4 kids, a man-child in the hospital, and then go back home to board the windows for the hurricane? And she's also working? How much do you wanna bet that OP probably never helps with child care, and that's why he doesn't think it's a big deal? Some people cannot be pleased.
I do think the pain he is in and possible pain meds are part of the problem. He had probably never been in a situation like this before either so he is also scared. (Assuming here). Also is a new father and forgetting how much harder a baby is to just dump off on a babysitter.
The sad thing is that hopefully he doesn't hold a grudge and will let go off his feelings of thinking she isn't there for him. The mom/wife has done nothing wrong. She isn't neglecting him at all. I totally understand where he is coming from but I also get where she is too.
I really really think his biggest issue is being scared and alone after this horrible accident. So he isn't seeing the big picture.
Lol hoping that is the problem!
So don't think he is an a hole if that's the situation. Now, if he's a narcissistic a hole then he's is an a hole lol
I see it as the feelings are valid, but the husband needs to understand that his wife is under a lot of pressure right now. Honestly, he should try to call in more family. To help them both
I mean, he has a right to be upset. If you're not in a great place, then it's easy to get overwhelmed by emotions, even when they don't really make sense. A while ago, I was super sad because I cut a character from my story and now one of the main characters misses one of his best friends... they don't even exist! So to me, anyone has the right to be emotional about anything.
Still, it's kinda harsh from OP to act on those emotions and guilt trip his wife though, when it's clear that she's doing the right thing.
He is probably some kind of millennial mama's boy...
That last story really peeved me, not gonna lie.
A few years ago, my husband had to have open heart surgery (his 4th since birth) and it was really touch and go. He was just over 2 hours away and I didn't drive, so his mom (who, at the time, had a better handle on his medical history than I do) stayed with him. I took care of our 4 kids and our small business. Yes, he wanted us there because he missed us like crazy that month he was there, but he knew I was needed at home. My kids we're even as young as theirs! Also, there was a hurricane coming? He expected a 17 year old to take care of 3 little ones (one being a year old) during a damn hurricane?! Jesus... he's a child!!
I think the important distinction between your experience and OPs is that your husband still had his mother staying with him, while OP is alone if his wife isn't there. Isolation in stressful situations like that does things to you, so while it seems minor that difference is actually massive.
Wow. So if your husband died due to complications of surgery, by your logic it's ok because his mom was their. And people say I'm heartless. You couldn't be bothered to take your kids to go see him at least once while he was locked up in the hospital? I've met some truly horrible people but damn.
@@drwboy07 I never said we didn't take them down to see him, we actually did go down and visit him. I just didn't stay at the hospital 24/7 with him. Despite the visits, he still missed all of us. I'm not heartless, where you got that is beyond me. He wanted me to stay with the kids and run our business. At the time, his mom had the better handle on his medical history then I did. We had only been living together for just over a year at that time (It was before we got married) and together as a couple for 3 years. Never once did I think it was better if his mother was there if he had died, you're jumping to some high conclusions there my guy.
@@MEGalomaniac6829 you never mentioned anything about seeing him prior, all you mentioned was his mom was with him and she had a better understanding of his medical history. I'm not saying you have to be there 24/7 but your original statement made it seem as you never even bothered. As what you said in your original comment was "he was 2 hrs away and I didn't drive" with the information you provided even with your new information I'll give you that you at least let him see his kids, but I still think you're somewhat heartless. A friend of mine told me how to better understand human emotion is to put myself in someone else's shoes. I've been in your shoes, and I still can't understand why someone would still be heartless to someone that had no one to be there for them. And I'm not talking about your husband, he atleast had his mom to comfort him but this guy from the story had no one but his wife and he was probably scared most of the time. I would never wish for someone to be hospitalized but put yourself in his shoes, you're in massive pain constantly, you're alone all night other than strangers coming in your room constantly, not to mention how noisy it is and sometimes hearing certain pages over the intercom like code blue or reds and thinking that code could be for you messes with your mind. Would you still say the same thing, if you experience this?
I've been in agonizing pain my dad, mother, brother has been in agony one month or another, by my parents don't abandon our needs for the sake of maybe an hour of care, OP's entire scenario would be... moderately different of his children someone between the ages of 12 and 15 ages imho should be old enough to not talk to people you don't know, don't open the door for anyone, get your choirs done, just basic stuff til the parents get back at 6ish
Ironically I actually did the robin thing with my "first boyfriend". His name was Harley but that was my female best friends name so I INSISTED that he was actually called Harvey to anyone who would ask. The relationship didn't last long. As I was 9-10 years old.
I laughed out loud when i read the last phrase
Nah, I think it didn't last long because of the massive disrespect of not calling him by his own name. Get over yourself.
@@ladyvee2090 ...they were a child? I don't think its that deep...
@@ladyvee2090 She was like 9-10 to play devil's advocate, social etiquette is not the strongest when you're a little kid. I think at one point we've all said or done something as a kid we look back on and cringe now. Nothing really to shame her about especially when the mistake years later is acknowledged, to error is human.
@@thesoundofstatic9474 yeah it was one of those playground "we are now boyfriend/ girlfriend" situations that I think lasted like 2 days😂 I learned my lesson though!
People who are so self conscious they need to "stand out" at their wedding are so absurd.
First story: let's assume the brother and his family was really annoyed by the piano "noise". Instead of asking OP to only play when they aren't home, they could e.g. go for a walk as soon as OP starts playing. Or they could look for a house/apartment at this time. I bet OP was playing each day around the same time, so they could plan something to do then.
But that would mean being 'forced' to do things they don't want to do like getting a job. You know how these people are, they rather get rid of the thing that's bothering them than having to leave and do things they don't want to just so that OP gets what she wants, right?
Story 3: not only is Robin a unisex name but I mostly seen boys with that name so not only is she wrong for calling your son out of your name, she's wrong about being a boy's name.
As someone who's brother's name is Joe but not Joseph and my name ends in ie not y, the teacher is deffo a rude TA like come on it takes 5 minutes to correct a name (provided your not a sexist idoit) also i knew a girl called Charlie so her logic is so wrong
Robin is a boy's name and Robyn is the girl's name.
My sister's oldest granddaughter is Charli. Not Charlene, not Charlotte, Charli.
I knew a girl named micheal this lady would lose her mind if she met her😂😂
in my country it's a more commonly boys name but nonetheles its super disrespectful, we have so many different names and as a parent i want my kid to be called by his actual name
People are wild sometimes. “I got rid of your piano to get some peace and quiet. What do you mean you’re kicking me out of your house?”
" what do you mean you're making me pay for my own actions "..
@@thetruth1816 Username checks out.
Yep but I think there is even more to it. They are living there rent free, can't find another place to stay, won't return it even under threat of arrest. I think they are broke and sold it and are just using this as an excuse.
Yep. And next, he doesn't like her wardrobe, so toss it all out. He doesn't like her car, so has it towed away and junked. Where does his BS stop!?
@@lancerevell5979 absolute insanity..
I wouldn't have even given them a time limit. My dead spouse's piano? I would want the thief to rot in jail, even if they were family.
I'm actually kinda amazed that they stole a piano that fast. Pianos are extremely heavy. That ingenuity should have went towards something else instead of being a little thief.
Yup. I would have _maybe_ given them to the count of ten to tell me where it was so I could get it back. And that’s a BIG “maybe”.
But other than that 10 second count (maybe 5 seconds because I’d be counting fast), I’d call the police right away.
1) a damp garage can ruin a piano (assuming they’re telling the truth, which I doubt)
2) if they’d steal a whole freaking _piano_ what else would/could/did they steal?
Last story hit home for me. My husband had life-threatening emergency surgery and almost died. He ended up recovering after nine days in the hospital. I was home with my two kids and my mom was able to come help so I was able to be with him every day but when he came home, he had to recover for three months, I was a stay at home mom doing home school at the time. He just laid in bed the whole time playing violent video games in the other room. I would check on him feed him take care of whatever he needed medically but my focus was on my children, as I had no other support later, I found out that he felt abandoned that whole time. I understand how he felt but I don’t see how I could’ve done anything differently. He was not bedridden he could have been part of the family at any time.
A bridezilla gets a young girl sent home due to jealousy and narcissism.
Dabney: This is completely fine it’s her day!
Would you feel the same if your own daughter was the one that got sent home for simply existing?
Robin vs Robert: I’m normally not petty, but if this were my child, I’d get back at pickup mum either by cussing her out/ embarrassing her in front of the other parents or ask for her name to intentionally misname her every time I pick up my child. Learn or feel the consequences.
She's bullying these kids for not having names she approves of. (She has been doing it to a little girl named Charlie also so it's definitely not a case of forgetfulness.) Bigotry and bullying children from adults is super disgusting. I would have made a scene too and been in the principals office before any meeting could be called. Other kids are already bad enough, we don't need adults bullying children at school too.
I'd definitely call that person a different name on purpose every time I saw her. And never the same name.
@@JasonW. "alrighty Susan, I'm here to collect my child."
"My... my name is Anne."
"What's that Barbara? You don't like your name? Well Julia, that sucks doesn't it?"
The wedding story... I see where you're coming from rslash, but I mean I think the main reason why people are upset with OP is that her reason for kicking the person out just comes off very petty and petulant. It'd be one thing if the person was actively trying to outshine the bride or whatever. That's one thing for sure. But I do think like in general, there should be some tact and some limit on reasons to kick someone out of something, no? I mean, granted maybe you said so in jest, but for example I think most people would probably think it's super crappy of someone if they kicked someone out of a party on the grounds of "I think you look too ugly to belong here". Like that sucks cuz what're they gonna do, fix their entire facial structure just to suit someone else's aesthetics for some event? That's unrealistic.
I think people with ugly personalities definitely have the right to decide who can and can't be at an event, like for sure. But I don't think you should be surprised if someone lets that ugliness from their personality show and then people are like "Wow, that's kind of ugly". No one likes a crappy person, even if they are possibly justified in doing something.
There's a (canonical) Robin who isn't a dude (Stephanie Brown, later Spoiler and Batgirl), but yes four out of the five canon Robins have been dudes (Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, and Damien Wayne)
None of which were actually named "Robin".
But that's why we have Robin Hood to redeer to
Final story: man I don’t think he’s an AH for having those feelings. It’s normal and easy to feel alone and abandoned when in a hospital by yourself, but his wife had a lot to juggle. Yes the kids are a priority, and under normal circumstances the 17 year old could possibly have babysat a little more, but throwing in preparing for an actual hurricane……seriously, yes the mom would choose to stay with the kids.
I’ve been in the hospital several times for very scary reasons and I wanted my husband there, but we have 2 kids (both under 5) and as lonely as it was I knew he needed to be with them first.
I hope now that things have settled he can see the big picture.
Hardest lesson I've had to learn is that 2 parties can be right at the same time. It's helped immensely now that I've gotten it.
He is entirely justified in wanting his wife there. I would too.
She is also justified in wanting to take care of the kids.
I really want an update on the first story. Either the brother sold it or he really stored it at a “friends house”. You can’t negotiate that H E double hockey sticks NO!
If I were in the hospital, as long as I knew I was being properly taken care of, I'd tell my spouse to prioritize the kids and the house.
Exactly because when you're home and not in the hospital you're going to need a lot of care. Plus it's a literal hurricane. And I've heard this story before they were talking about hurricane Ian people died in that storm. A 17 year old should not be left alone to deal with that along with three other kids and an infant
Agreed though as RSlash pointed out, the guy is probably pretty high on painkillers so I think he may deserve just a little bit of slack
Exactly. Several years ago I had a pretty traumatic spine surgery and had to stay in the hospital for a week.
At the time we had a 6-month-old baby and 2 dogs. (Luckily it wasn’t hurricane season. I don’t know if I could have dealt with that added stressor)
I was alone in that hospital room at least 98% of my stay. My husband came to see me when he could, but young children weren’t allowed on that hospital floor, so I only saw him for 10 or 20 minutes before he had to leave and pick up the baby.
I had to make do with phone calls after the baby had gone to bed.
I’m not saying it was easy. It wasn’t. It was _hard_ and I think not enough people talk about the depression that can set in when you have hospital stays that last longer than a few hours. But the thing is, I understood. I understood that my baby and even my dogs took priority in my husband’s life. Because my needs were being met by the nurses and he had his hands full enough.
The last thing I wanted to do was heap even more on top of my husband. A person can only take so much.
That last story, it is rough being hospitalized alone. The isolation does weird things to a human brain. It isn't uncommon for people to just try to sleep at all times until they are released just to escape the loneliness. Both times I've been hospitalized I was there alone and I cried every time I woke up because I wanted my mom or husband there with me, especially when you are in for something serious and scary it is hard to rationalize why people can't sit with you through it all.
Hell. I'm healthy and at home, and sometimes when I'm having a really hard day, it's hard to not feel resentment towards friends I'd like to spend time with, but are busy with legit life things, like work. Human brains aren't very rational, and I think RSlash was very fair to that husband. Poor guy is really going through something horrific.
I was hospitalised at the height of the pandemic, not for the virus. It was a bit lonely with visitors not allowed, only having the nursing staff to speak to -- but considering I'd been living at home alone, isolating because of multiple health things, I actually got way more human contact than I had been. It was nice feeling taken care of... if not quite worth being seriously ill, lol!
I'm truly sorry this happened to you. I understand exactly what you are saying other than the sleeping part. The whole time I was in the hospital I hardly ever got to sleep because basically every other hour there was either a nurse, lab tech, or Dr checking in on you. But none of my family was allowed to visit me, even though my mom was fully vaccinated, they still wouldn't let her in. And when you're constantly hearing code blues, code reds, and once or twice a code black, you start to become more anxious to get out of the hospital.
@@drwboy07 I guess I am a really heavy sleeper so I was able to zonk out through as much as possible, and the pain meds helped with that, but after so much sleep at some point ya just cant anymore.
@@suitov I was in with a serious liver infection (idk how that even happens but apparently i coulda died o_o) Nurses really deserve all the credit they can get, even though I felt awful and lonely the lady that was taking care of me was so wonderful and i felt almost like my mom was caring for me, albeit with IVs and ice baths rather than chicken soup and kisses.
Story 4: she wanted to call the cops over make up. Wedding or not, party or not, the girl she made leave wasn't a guest at the party, she wasn't invited. She was working! Not to mention, as someone whose worked with food and in the service industry, there are typically lots of rules of what you can and can't wear when it comes to your makeup, clothing, and hair. The girl was working and was clearly well within her works rules if her boss didn't have a problem with it.
So you can control what unpaid guests wear but not people you are paying? Not saying OP is right (although the biggest AH was the company that said they would accomidate OP when they couldn't) but I don't know if I buy the reasoning in any situation that people should have more leeway when being paid then a guest that costs the host nothing for attending.
@@RRW359 She told her guests what to wear. She didn't give any rules to a catering staff. So guests would be a guilty one, but waitress was not. She was punished for OP's insecurites and imprudence, not for something she did.
The thng is, "host can decide who will stay and who will go" rule is morally gray. Yes, they can decide, but if they are not objective and fair - they are an a-hole.
@@ajanija1590 Nobody is arguing that she isn't an AH for not telling the catering company beforehand, it's wheather or not she is after that that's what people disagree with. We also don't know what happened to the waitress after she left, didn't hear OP demand anything other than she leave, and if the catering company did penalize her that's on them rather then OP. And who decides what is reasonable in terms of accomidations? I think the whole white thing is stupid but a lot of people don't see the issue with kicking people out based on it.
@@RRW359 server was an 18 y/o high schooler who had to drive 3.5 hrs out for the wedding. She just got told to go home early. presumably still paid
@@ShieldLover22 She would have had to drive back later anyways. If the company paid her for the full day then I don't know what the problem is but if they didn't then it's management that's at fault rather than OP, at least when it comes to kicking her out. Also if the company put their foot down and said they couldn't do their service without her rather then agreeing to OP's terms and then disregarding them it would be a different story.
Also worth noting in story 1 is the brother saying "you can be alone and play piano all day long" he was quite literally mocking her for being sad and alone after her husband died.
I love that you're justifying bridezilla because "omg it's her wedding!" I'm a bride and it's not ok to take money out of someone's life because you're jealous. You're hot takes get more and more wild dude.
That bridezilla had my laughing at her insecurity. I feel bad for her husband. Her kids are going to be miserable.
3rd story: I was in a similar situation to that kid. There is a nickname to my name, that causes me severe anxiety when used to refer to me. (combination of undiagnosed autism, bullying classmates and some useless teachers)
Once, a waiter during an event decided to call by that name. I asked him repeatedly to stop, however, everyone around insisted to join in, as it's a beautiful name and it fits me. In the end, everyone called me by that name and I had to hide in the toilet to hide my meltdown. The next day, I got chewed out for being rude and disrespectful.
Would have been nice, if anyone stood up for me back than the way op does for his son.
There is never a valid reason to give away someone’s keepsakes/ stuff that reminds them of someone important. You cannot assure that the piano won’t get sold, destroyed, regifted or whatever - so basically, they stole the late husband’s gift and now decline to return it. Why? Because they felt annoyed and wanted to be treated like kings in another person’s house. Or maybe they did sell it, that’d be even more despicable.
I guarantee they threw it out or destroyed it. They made excuses about returning it and got scared by the threat of police, because the piano doesn't exist anymore.
Yes, it's the brides' wedding and she can ask people to wear less makeup or not dress in anyway that would outshine her as the bride. But if she is so insecure that she feels that a server will outshine her in her wedding gown then she has bigger problems and yes, is an AH on the scale of 3. When you threaten the caterer with having to call the cops to remove the server that was over the top and tells me that OP is going to have a short marriage.
The piano story bugs me a lot. I hope OP got it sorted. It's especially frustrating because when or if she gets that piano back, she'll have to get it tuned again since it was moved.
Here's hoping both of the thieves are serving time
Story 4: Wow! Being so insecure and ruining your wedding by focusing on a waitress then enjoying the day with your new husband.
I mean, you can kick whoever you want out of your wedding but all your guests are going to be watching how and why you kicked someone out. My whole thing is that it seems a lot of brides these days cannot stand not having the attention on them 100%. I'd love for the attention to be scattered my wedding night because I HATE being the center of attention for too long.
Don't have a wedding when you get married then, because being the center of attention for the WHOLE event is literally the point of it.
@@black1917 I've been to weddings where people actually talked to each other and didn't sit the whole time watching the bride eat. You're wrong.
@@sourisvoleur4854 Wrong how, they were still the center of attention. Just because they weren’t being treated like an exhibit at the zoo doesn’t change that. Try again.
@@black1917 Maybe you don't understand what "attention" means. If somebody's not watching or listening to you, you're not the center of their attention.
@black1917 I'll kinda, do what I want? But thanks for the input to a future wedding you'll never see.
Story 1: Evil family is evil. I’d find a way of getting the mother arrested as well if I was OP.
I agree my friend Sophie lost her dog from pancreatic and she gives me some of her dog stuff I was glad but sad for her
Lol what? The mother didn't actually do anything wrong. I agree that Brother and SIL are scum, but all the mother did was... be a mom.
I hope the first OP pressed charges against her brother and sister in law for stealing her piano. The cost to properly move a grand piano or even baby grand piano would be significantly higher than someone who can't afford to pay rent could afford to pay. So if it really is in a place garage then it's most likely in pieces. Also when I found what I believe to be the original post there were no updates. Although because Rslash doesn't provide links to the original stories I may have found a duplicate post
From what I got, in one of the comments on here, they said that they found OP's social media and they said that OP got her piano back and her brother is still banished
@@reese5340that sounds like a satisfactory ending for OP! 👍 I hope the piano wasn’t too badly damaged.
Story 1: The absolute nerve of someone to live in someone's house in their time of need, set rules, and then steal. NO misunderstanding. Very glad OP didn't back down.
Story 3: I used to have a male dentist whose name was Robin. Refusing to use someone's name is just rude.
No joke, back on my Navy ship (early 1980s), we got a new officer named Lt. Robin Hood. I didn't know at first, so I am on quarterdeck watch, someone calls in wanting "Robin Hood". I snarkily answer "No Robin Hood here, let me go get Little John." Oops! Yeah, I got chewed out. I deserved it. 😳
Rslash was 100% off on the wedding bridezilla story
Story 1: I can't stand family member that thing they can do whatever they want and you're supposed to just let it slide, especially when it comes to siblings. And after you let them live in your house rent free. You're being too nice honestly, you gave them two days me personally I would have given them 2 hours. And when they try to blackmail you with your own stolen property 2 minutes.
OP was more than generous - if I was brother/his family, I would be worshipping at OP's feet. Maybe politely requesting that she keep the piano music to X-X time, but CERTAINLY not stealing from her. If I REALLY had that much of a problem with piano music, then I'd find a way to afford to move out, not STEAL HER FUCKING PIANO. Brother is an entitled asshole and Mother is the reason why - they are all rotstains on this person's life, and I wish her husband was around so that she wouldn't be on her own if she cut them out.
For that wedding - She should've informed the waiting staff prior to the wedding about a dress-code. She is the A for complaining about that one kid and making them get sent home. The bridezilla was making it worse for herself, she should've focused on her own experience, happiness, she could've ignored the girl, there are so many things she could've done better. Definitely 4/5 A Points
Fourth one: You mentioned that you thought it wouldn't have mattered if the server had been kicked out for being too pretty/ too ugly. From this story I get the feeling that had the bride considered this server to be "uglier" than her or if the clothes weren't quite as fitted she wouldn't have cared at all. I think it's the fact this server has an outfit that clings a bit more to her and appears potentially "prettier" that Godzilla-Jealousy mode has been activated. By the same mentality if one of her guests potentially had a more figure-hugging outfit even in the toned down colour scheme they'd have probably been booted too
Story 1: Sentimental or not, the fact is OP’s brother and SiL stole a grand piano from her property. If the grand piano is as expensive as Rslash says, then she has a case to press charges. Honestly, she should’ve called the cops the moment she finished yelling at the brother. No waiting for two days. Two days is plenty of time to damage a piano. At least if she called the cops right then, the piano will either be located immediately or OP will just have sued the couple
If the piano is worth thousands of dollars, wouldn't they be more likely to sell it and keep the money than damage it?
OP didn't say it was a grand, but even a used upright piano, or a smaller version, is a hefty piece of equipment. You have to keep them tuned, especially after moving them. You can't just throw them around and shove them in garages. (I guess there's a fair chance RS is right and it was really sold.)
@@suitov my grandparents had an upright piano. Both sets of grandparents actually. They are surprisingly hard to sell...
Is there a update
Story 1: Don't threaten to call the cops. ACTUALLY call the cops! They don't get to get away with theft just because "they're family" or whatever
Idk I think it was weird of the bride to be so obsessed with the waitresses instead of just enjoying her special day. The wedding day is supposed to be the fun part, not the part where you're still stressing about things being perfect
"It's my wedding"
WRONG! It's TWO people's wedding. I'm sick of hearing the excuse that it's only the special day of one person and not the couple as a whole. If I ever find out I'm at the wedding of a bridezilla I am walking out.
My husband let his friend, wife, infant, and 2 dogs live with us for around 5 months. I was miserable the whole time because his friend did whatever he wanted when he wanted. He trashed the house, let his dogs use the bathroom wherever they wanted, let them go in the kitchen, and would get irritated with me when I would tell him to clean up his messes. His wife is sweet and tried to keep up with the mess but she also had the baby to look after since he never wanted to watch her. I would complain to my husband but he said they needed help more than me. It made me feel crazy and alone. I hated being in my own house. I started going out more and working more hours to stay away from them all. I was so miserable and no one cared. Eventually, I stopped cleaning up their messes and let the house go into disarray. It was embarrassing but I got tired of being the maid. It looked like a hoarder house. It stank like pee and wet dog. Trash was everywhere. Floors were sticky from the urine and covered in dirt. Their dogs ripped up the carpet and literally ATE part of our laundry room door. Did I mention they didn’t pay rent either? But somehow I was rude when I asked them to clean or to stop letting their dogs urinate all over my floors. I felt so depressed from it all that I started having bad thoughts. I used to love my home. It smelled like brownies and was always clean. But his friend made it hell for me. It angers me when I hear how guests treat the people who are letting them live under their roof. I told my husband after they moved out that they were never living with us again. He said, if they need the help, they will. I told him no. If he ever lets them move back in, I will leave. I will pack my bags and fly back home. I will never sacrifice my mental health for anyone ever again.
OMG, that’s a total nightmare!!😱 It’s not my business of course, but your husband sounds like a d-bag. Let me guess: HE didn’t clean up after his friend or the dogs either. How could he be okay with how HIS house was trashed??? I’m so sorry they were so awful. Good for you for putting your foot down with your husband! He sounds like an a-hole too. P.S. do you have your own emergency $ stash like a savings account, your “F*** you” money? My mother always advised me to have one.
While Rslash is technically right about the wedding story and the bride having a right to a private party she still deserves a higher score for being a Karen and threatening to call the cops on a server that was only doing her job.
The cops wouldn’t even arrest her anyways but at most ask the college student to leave
Lawyer: don’t steal or I’ll sue
Family: steals from lawyer cousin
Also family, after being arrested: surprised Pikachu 😮
If someone wearing diamond studs is gonna out shine you at your own wedding then what was the bride even wearing??
On the third story about OP's son's name, I'm totally onboard with dad (OP). Admittedly, my first name is very unusual and is usually mistaken for "Paris". I've even been called Karen Smith on a couple of occasions because my first and last name combined sound just like that. However, I had this one Algebra teacher in 9th grade who insisted on calling me "Kay-Harris". I told her on multiple occasions that it's pronounced "Care-iss". The first couple times, I gave her a pass, as my name is pretty unusual and is also unisex, just like Robin's name. However, the 4th or 5th time I had to remind her, I got irritated and started literally spelling it out how it sounded at the top of my assignments. She *still* called me "Kay-Harris". She called me "Kay-Harris" all year and it bugged the ever-loving life out of me. Despite it's uncommon use, my name is easier to pronounce than it sounds. It's two syllables... "Care-iss". That's it
Rslash, for the wedding story. Yes, I generally agree with you that anyone attending a wedding can be kicked out by the bride at her will. But she wasn't attending. She was working the wedding as a server. Hired help. Not there to celebrate the couple. And I'm just thinking, would she rather have servers dressed as slobs or something. She came in professional attire and that OP didn't do her job. - Not once in that story did it say that the employee wasn't in a work uniform. Just that the bride didn't like the way the regulation uniform fit the problem server.
OP is definitely TA in story four. She’s way too jealous and that’s honestly pathetic. No one is outshining the bride on her own wedding day, least of all a random server. She needs to grow up. She lacks maturity and self esteem and making that everyone else’s problem.
The name story hit home for me. My name is Havah, sounds like lava. It's continuously mispronounced by almost everyone. Unless they just LOVE fiddler on roof. 🙄 A coworker who constantly said my name wrong was asked by his gf, also a coworker. Why don't you just say her name correctly? He brushed it off and said it's a nick name anyway. I said, no that's what my parents named me, it's not short for anything. It's just Hebrew not English. He was shocked. I'm sure as a black American he knows many people with non Anglo-Saxon names.
How do you pronounce your name? Admitted to not seeing it before - and I love learning new names and where they come from, and I am guessing how it's meant to be said
@@kerribottriell-baxter7345 I said it sounds like lava, but obviously with an H instead of an L.
My name is a variant spelling of the name 'Leonna' (pronounced lee-AW-nuh). My parents, in their infinite wisdom, *combined two different spellings* to get my legal name. I've been called Leeohnah, Leeannah, Lahunna, Lawahna, Louwahna, Louanna, and plenty more. As an adult, I started going by Lia just because I got so fucking tired of no one bothering to read/learn my actual name. My parents aren't even Mormon or anything that would give them a reason to be ~unique~ in their kid's spelling. I still cannot fathom why they thought it was a good idea.
@@TwighlightLugia the struggle is real. Having a not "normal " name means nobody can pronounce it. Except toddlers, they have the easiest time with my name.
That's a pretty name
I hate hearing "I wanna stand out during the wedding" -- I get it's your wedding, but you're not there to stand out, you're there to marry someone you love.The fact you would dictate to people what to wear or how to look, without people coming to look their best at an event that is celebrating the union of two people, I think you're very short sighted. If someone told me I was too dressed up, I would get the ugliest shirt with a pair of sweat pants and ask them if that was better.
Exactly! My parents had a halloween wedding and told people to dress in costumes. Some people had inflatable costumes, some were big and bright and sparkly, some were dark and spooky, you got every kind of costume you could think of and it was so much fun!! But no matter how frilly and glittery and poofy someone's costume was, everyone was staring at my mom in her simple black dress and my dad in his unicorn skull button-down. They didnt have to be "best dressed" or over-the-top or tell others not to outshine them. It was a day to celebrate their love for each other and have fun with friends and family.
I actually can relate directly to the last story (accident)...
My husband was just in the hospital for immunotherapy for cancer (30 days in - ICU stay and recovery). I was there between 4-8 hours each day depending on my job. I had to go back home and work late into the evening (before I went to sleep for the night). We also have 3 rabbits to tend to. The hospital was an hour away, 1 way.
My husband understood I couldn't stay there 24/7. He looked forward to when I arrived, and I left every night at 9pm after he fell asleep. But he did have times where the loneliness overtook him, and he said he felt abandoned when I wasn't there until later in the day after work. He didn't feel that way when he got home though...there's just something about being stuck in a hospital that causes that.
Marriage means you are there for your spouse...but dropping everything to hover 24/7 isn't reasonable. Yes, I understand "going through everything" by yourself is difficult...but to assume it means she isn't committed to the marriage, especially when there are children involved (step or bio doesn't matter), is kindof unreasonable. Especially when she IS coming into the hospital still.
If he stopped and asked his wife how she was coping with everything, she'd probably say she is over-stressed, and everything is hitting on a raw nerve (I felt frayed the entire time and had a hair-trigger when it came to emotions).
I don't think OP is more than a one- or two-star a-hole as he's sad and lonely...he gets his a-hole rating for not trying to also consider his wife...you know...the one he also swore to love in sickness and in health...
I don't think she's the a-hole here either...she's probably really upset he's being inconsiderate when she is running around like a mad woman and trying to cover everything that is normally covered by 2 people.
Everyone is stressed and not communicating except when they are really upset. Not good for the relationship.
I wouldn’t give it two days to return, I’d give it a few HOURS or else I’ll call the cops
The piano was definitely already gone forever when OP noticed it was missing. The brother almost certainly brought it to a landfill, or brought it to a field with some sledgehammers.