With the story about the dog... A relative of mine has made it clear during their childhood they aren't an animal person. Nobody in the family expects them to care for any of their pets, ever. As a result, this person is civil and nice to all pets we have. If a cat or dog comes up to them for attention, they give the animal attention. They talk kindly to our animals and uphold the discipline the animals are used to. (gently discouraging bad behavior, rewarding where needed etc) This person still doesn't like animals and doesn't take on direct pet care, (and they aren't asked to) but since nobody forced interactions they don't resent or mistreat the animals. That is how you get a pet-averse person to warm up to animals. Respect their boundaries.
My Dad and stepmom rented a nice house some years ago. One day, their sweet little shihtzu pup (Einstein) escaped into the neighbor’s backyard. Two little boys had been playing and got scared. Their mom went over to my parents’ house and told Mom her dog was in the yard and please come get him as the kids were scared. Mom said of course I will but just to reassure you somewhat my dog is very friendly. The mom said she could tell he was but the boys were still nervous. Mom went and got him. He had a few more escapes, Mom retrieved. After the third, the boys fell in love with Einstein and began coaxing him into their yard and coming into my parents’ yard to say hi and pet Einstein!
@@wmdkitty My childhood dog had no boundaries, she loved any attention she got, my dad could be petting her then pick her up a bit and toss her a bit away and she would excitedly come back for more
I ended up looking that one up on reddit and...wow, it's even worse if you read through the comments. I really hope it's a troll and not a real situation because that dad needs therapy and the roasting he got in the comments, while well deserved, probably wasn't the right way to help him change. And boy does he need to change.
Precisely this. My sister is terrified of dogs, so growing up we never had one in the house or forced her to interact with them. She got bitten by one when she was young, if I remember correctly, so she had a perfectly reasonable reason as to why she avoided them. Now, my uncle had two massive dogs and a ton of cats [ferals, which he rehabilitated and sent out for adoption], and whenever we were over the dogs would stay in the kitchen or outside. Over time my sister relaxed around dogs, but this was over a decade ago so what I remember isn't exact. Forcing people to interact with animals is just going to make them dislike or hate said animal more. In general, if someone oversteps your boundaries and tries to force you to do something, they're directly disrespecting you and ignoring your preferences. It's a form of bullying that doesn't get called out a lot because it doesn't seem severe, but it is severe if it becomes such a pattern that the person who's getting stepped on eventually relents to anything someone else wants them to do or think. People deserve to be people, not doormats, and that includes respecting their opinions, worries, fears, etc. Especially kids. If a kid gets stepped on too much eventually they'll never stand up for themselves. But, the opposite is also true - if you respect them and treat them as an equal they'll respect you back.
1. Dylan set a reasonable boundary and OP pounced all over it because “he thought he would warm up to the dog by now!” 2. I’m surprised OP didn’t weaponize his financial contributions the moment SIL chose to weaponize her pregnancy 3. BF is fickle glad OP got out 4. Sis and BIL should be thankful OP didn’t call cops
2. It probably didn’t occur to him to weaponize his contributions because he’s not an entitled ass like his SIL. Tbh, I would have tried to get out LONG before the baby was born if things were starting off that badly.
Good use of "fickle", bad use of "pounce". He's not taking advantage of the boundaries his son set, you "pounce" on an opportunity, or an unsuspecting person, or something like that. The dad is walking or stomping all over it, he is ignoring or disregarding or disrespecting it.
@@Tustin2121 I would have taken "pregnant SIL is moving in" as the sign to move out, never mind any hostility that followed. "Strange lady and then a baby when I know I dislike babies and have no intention of helping? Bye!"
3. Is wrong, that BF was trying to be manipulative, by making OP move with him then demand rent, he would then say to her he would be take care of the rent (as promised before) but he would institute some rules. Why do i think that? The moment he was "willingly to accept her $800", since it would still give him more influence in the relationship since he is still paying MORE.
Not to mention you call tell OP is entitled in general. I know this sounds harsh, but the first few sentences alone scream: "I deserve a dog because I never got to have one as a kid."
Right! "I wanted a dog all MY life and cant fathom why someone wouldn't!". I feel for the dog because OP never having a dog before really shows in this post... Sounds like he is pushing the responsibility of HIS dog onto the kids as a "learning lesson" that HE clearly needs! The fact that he wont even acknowledge the dogs poor training and glosses over the dog "destroying things" tells me a LOT about OP... He omitted the reasons WHY his son would dislike the dog because he wants to be right in this situation!
@@silverflight01 The child will be under extreme pressure to fit the mental fantasy their parents created for them. But when you're measuring against a mental fantasy, nothing you do will ever be enough because it's just an unrealistic fantasy. And then the parent gets upset that the child goes down a different direction (ie: artistic rather than sporty)
Story 2: Yeah, everyone is siding with Jill, so OP is just better off leaving. Jack and Jill can go pay that 50%. Perhaps that will change things. Trying to make a maid out of a sibling is just plain wrong
And that is regardless of their employment. Moving room was fine. Changing their meals was pushing it. But no matter what expecting a sibling or child, regardless of their age or living situation, to suddenly help with a CHILD they in no way should have any responsibility for is FUCKED. I understand asking for reasonable normal help during someone's downtime. That is just human. But to expect them to drop everything to assist is nonsense.
OP wrote that if he did it would blow their finances to shit. The parents couldn't continue living there without Jack and Jill taking over for OP which would force (in his words) "Entitled Princess" to get back to work.
Something missed in story 1. The kid went to his mum because of the punishment and she got upset. This tells me 1 of 2 things. 1) he didnt run it by her or 2) he did, she told him not to do it, he did it anyway. This "dad" is such an ass.
@@lorilancaster5917 That is because a marriage is not a partnership and also, if that person about thinks that dad is such an ass, I have something to present to you about what a real ass of a dad is like.
*First OP:* I noticed a few people pointing out how mature Dylan sounds while stating his boundaries. Speaking from experience, I’m wondering if Dylan’s maturity is due to him choosing his words carefully to not anger OP. If that’s the case, then that makes OP even worse than he already is.
@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 and it seems in the story that only the nerdy kid had to be walking on eggshells since the other kids were already on the dads side wanting the dog.
Exactly. It’s sad some adults ignore kids for being kids. Umm 🧐 ya, it’s not like talking to kids is part of raising them. Teaching them communication & listening skills & such.
@@patrickmarsh2538 nah, i hate little kids too but theyre only monsters when their parents dont treat them like the humans they are. this mentality does nothing to help the very real issue of children being treated as tools or objects.
R-Slash is right about the wearing him down, and the same with the wife, being weird, and unpleasant. And even the reasoning for the asking the kid to walk the dog is bad. But Boundaries is some bullshit. Walking the dog is a chore. If a kid said, "I don't want to associate with the dirty dishes." Nobody would say the parent is the asshole for telling them to wash them anyways.
Story 1: Yep, you're the AH Story 2: Move out and let them go broke. When you get the call to move back because of a "misunderstanding", say "No, I like it here" Story 3: Bait and switch indeed. BF is an AH Story 4: Classic tale of Person A does something selfish. Person B doesn't put up with it, so Person A calls person B "selfish". Sister and husband are the AH, easy
"You moved me out of my room with no advance notice, or [presumably] even an apology for the inconvenience after the fact. So notice shouldn't be necessary for me moving /myself/ out either. And you put me in the guest room, so clearly you don't really want me here except to help with bills and be a live-in free babysitter." Feels reasonable to me.
I mean, OP got what he wanted, but it wasn't enough for him to just let his son do what he wanted. OP comes across as the parent who prefers his other two sons because Dylan is "different". The sort of parent who doesn't bother trying to bond, because "my son doesn't like sport, so there's nothing to talk about". Also that would make him a hypocrite, because he's forcing his son to like the dog, but OP doesn't want to make an effort with his own son.
Story 4: The thing about babysitting is that both parties MUST agree to when to babysit, and the sister basically assumes that OP will always agree because she's a parent and OP is not. No, that's not how it works, because that'll eventually lead to an abandonment case
I would have called the cops and then told my sister that I wasn't even home, so good luck on that. And then when they showed up, I just wouldn't open the door.
I had called the cops for abandonment. And tell the truth. Yes, I babysit sometimes, but I sad I can not today, my sister drops them of anyway, now Mr./Mrs. Officer you are here.
@@paul-georgjordan2650 I disagree. We don't know the full story, and bringing the police into the situation unnecessarily can cause much larger problems -- and not just for the parents. Forcing the parents to be parents was the right move.
Too many people assume that because you are single, you have plenty of time to devote to whatever it is they want you to do. In fact, as a working professional or full-time student, you probably have less time than married couples do because they can divide the chores and other necessary responsibilities between two people, while you have to do it all yourself.
@@charminglady2011 Now I usually try and not to jump to the worst ever conclusions, but OP pointed out several times that he doesn't connect with Dylan because he isn't "a complete copy of of OP". He obviously doesn't like that Dylan likes things OP isn't himself interested in, and while this is pretty damn farfetched of me, it kind of sounds like OP doesn't give a shit that Dylan's things gets ruined, or even thinks that it isn't that big of a deal. He certainly didn't have a problem with threatening Dylan's interests and hobbies just because he didn't get his way. I wonder how quickly OP's mind would change if the dog destroyed his things.
Story 1: don’t force your kid to have a pet, nothing is worse than living with an animal they don’t want. My mum wants a pet but she won’t get one because I don’t want one, OP needs to grow up and care about his kid
This happened to my senior of hs- I wanted a dog all my childhood but my parents always said no. Then when I committed to college, they got a dog that I didn’t want in order to trick me into staying home and not going to school to take care of it
I agree. As a kid this happened with a rescue that got put to a family vote I didn’t like that little (cocker spaniel) bastard and told them I didn’t want to deal with it at all. Guess who still got stuck with having to help out with him?! I resented that dog and never bonded with him. Later on I fell in love with a great chocolate lab and that was “my” dog. I did everything for that dog and never complained.
First story: OP is the AH. Not only is it his dog, but Dylan has made it clear that he didn't want a pet in his life, and wanted nothing to do with Zeus. OP has chosen to force Dylan to have a relationship with Zeus, in complete disregard to Dylan's feelings. I agree with rSlash here that this story may have been presented in a way to make it not look so bad. I wonder if Zeus' "playfulness" is in fact more aggressive than OP is willing to believe, and that Zeus has actually caused damage to Dylan's stuff in the past (which would totally be a valid reason to not let Zeus into Dylan's room.).
So just reading between the lines here, but OP is clearly a toxic alpha male. And he went and named the dog "Zeus". Which scenario seems more likely, that he got a Yorkshire Terrier named Zeus....or something like a Great Dane? Odds are, this dog is HUGE, given that OP has demonstrated a clear inability to be responsible for his own decisions, probably has not been trained or even properly housebroken. So...yeah. What's most likely happening is there's a big excitable dog knocking shit around like a bull in a china shop, which is probably fine if you're outside and running around, but not for an indoor dog.
The fact that dog jumps all over Dylan... I'd be _furious._ I have Aspergers and I don't like being jumped on. Period. End of story. I imagine that if the boy doesn't like the dog, having it jump on him isn't welcome either. Additionally, I have a picture of the dog breed chosen with a name like "Zeus" and I'm sure it's not helpful.
In my opinion it doesn't even matter whether the dog has broken Dylan's stuff; if he doesn't want the dog in his room, he shouldn't even need a reason.
Story 2: I feel like paying half of all bills including mortgage is going beyond rent at that point you're pretty much a partner in the house and should have some level of decision making power.
To expand on your point in the first one; OP is teaching his kid that his word means nothing and not to trust him because any promise made will never be upheld. He's also effectively punishing him for being different and that will drive Dylan further away until he goes no contact with OP.
There's also the fact that the method was all about wearing down people than actually trying to communicate or make compromise. Like maybe if they'd actually talked to mom and Dylan and learned about the reasons they don't want dogs then they could have worked to address that. Like if they were worried about a noisy or untrained or destructive or messy dog then they could have gotten mom and Dylan involved in the process of at least picking out a dog that won't trigger them/easier to ignore or even compromising on getting a different animal or just visiting an animal shelter to interact with dogs without bringing em home
Yep. My parents constantly complained and berated me as a teenager for my music and style choices (I dressed emo and listened to the accompanying music) and also made it clear that I was never to get tattoos or piercings aside from basic earlobe or ear cartilage. They constantly asked me why I had to dress like that and insisted I needed to listen to "happier music". This is on top of some unnecessary restrictions as a teenager that taught me nothing about how to function in life. They constantly judged what others did on the basis of what they did/didn't do. They hated motorcycles and saw them as a waste of money because they had no interest in them, for example. They judged people who owned them. I got so sick of their crap that I moved two states away. I still see them on holidays, but we aren't close at all. That's what the OP has to look forward to if he's lucky.
@@sourisvoleur4854 Honestly, with how all-around shitty the dude is, I hope his wife divorces his ass and takes the kids, and leaves him with the dog. If not for her own sake, but for the sake of those boys. Because OP isn't just teaching Dylan all this shit, he's also teaching his other children that it's okay to treat people that way.
Story 2: Who else wants to bet that if Op DID move out…like…a month or 2 afterwards his parents would come crawling back demanding he either move back in, or send them money to help with the mortgage. Naw NTA Op, YOU pay rent, YOU work, your SIL does neither of those things, therefore YOU don’t need to be HER personal slave.
Yeah, the minute they realize OP is outta there, the guilt tripping and demands will start. "How can you do this?" 'We're family!" Yeah, whatever. OP needs to rent their own place and leave those folks to pay their own bills. The fact that the parents made OP move to a smaller room while paying half the bills? Hell no!
And don't forget that the actual parents would soon be whining about how one or both has to sacrifice their "girls/boys night out" to watch the kids, or the grandparents complain their TV time is interrupted by a child demanding constant attention
Story 2: When I heard that he was paying half of the bills - including mortgage - and they made him move into a smaller room for the freeloaders I was so mad in his behalf! Move out. You contribute and once that’s gone they can fight amongst themselves.
The first story sounds like a dad who got a puppy and didn’t mind taking care of it when it was cute and small, but now that puppy is 7 months old, untrained, and he doesn’t want the responsibility anymore. The fact that the kid won’t even let the dog in his room for fear he’ll destroy things is very telling.
That last story: every time I hear a story about someone dropping their kids off with a family member without the family member saying it was okay drives me up the walls. Your kids = your responsibility not anyone else’s. You ask if the person wants to keep your kids for you and if they say no, move on to someone else. Don’t just assume that your family is okay with keeping YOUR kids. If they don’t want to spend time with them, that’s on them, not you. If they are busy, don’t make their life harder because YOU didn’t plan accordingly. Op was definitely NTA and her sis and BIL were major A-holes.
right now my mother is picking up my niece to stay over here with us. the thing is, i was not consulted on this decision and am still expected to watch and care for her. we don't have a guest room for her to stay in and my computer is in my bedroom. i have online school work to do and will be busy last into the night. people just assuming that you will watch their kids is one of the reasons i'm now not happy to watch my nieces. i used to love watching them, but no longer.
Story 2: Even if the guy was freeloading, he could be expected to help out with household responsibilities, even change rooms, but that does NOT mean he should be expected to be a personal servant or built-in babysitter, especially when they are also freeloaders. So even without paying half, he still wouldnt be the butthole.
Exactly helping with chores doesn’t mean unlimited babysitting or fee financial aide… some people have boundaries with pets (1st story) others with kids, so being related is no obligation to be bullied into other peoples life choices.
@@Catnipatrick The only thing about the story that raises my eyebrow is the not watching the baby to take a shower? Also the hate kids, not bonding with your nephew or niece.
@@xeedflarian9748 some of us actually do hate children. they're loud, gross, sticky, needy, and expensive. not everyone wants to bond with the younger members of the family. i hate that we're just expected to drop everything for kids that aren't even ours or that we're expected to like them. it's not op's baby, they have no responsibility to it if they don't want it.
@@ivanadragmire2873 I know some do but this is what raises my eyebrow at those people, I'm not saying they are wrong for the way they feel. I just don't hold those people in high regards, but that's just me.
Story 1: you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the difference between listening and obeying. Abusers will say listening when they mean obeying, because they want the people they control to have a reflexive response to whatever they say without question. Actual listening requires one to consciously think about whether a demand is justified or not.
That first story. My mom has done the same stuff with every animal shes gotten to me and my brother. I hate all but one cat. We told my mom we didn't want them and the responsibility was thrown on me and my brother because we are still doing school virtually. We hate it
@@ocatatodapotato2497 I am so sorry bro I've got a chill guinea pig and can't imagine having dogs/cats/any other type of pet and being forced to take care of them Also it's toxic for her to force the responsibility onto you guys because with me I wanted the guinea pig so I ALONE take care of him and don't force her or my brothers to help me with the responsibilities.If SHE wanted a pet SHE can also take care of them on HER OWN.
Story 2: if you can afford to pay half of the expenses for four other people, then you can afford to live on your own. Also if you pay that much then they were bluffing, four people in a baby and they're about to lose half of all the house's income, the second you decide to move their even going to guilt trip you or backtrack. I say move, there's no point in staying in a place where you are constantly fighting with three other people.
I wouldn't be in the least surprised if they tried to force OP to continue to support the household financially even after they moved to their own place
@@christinacartter9784 Oh, absolutely! Why give them any pre-warning given how ridiculous and entitled they are? Hell, I might even move out slowly over the course of a month if I could afford it.
Like rslash, I thought OP was a freeloading 'failure to launch' until I saw the edit. Sounds like the parents expect OP to support them 'in their old age'. I also noted earlier in the story that OP was doing his own cooking, which told me he was helping out around the house.
1 kicked out of his room in the house he's paying 50% of expenses for. 2 told he's not allowed to cook what he wants in the house he's paying 50% for. I mean the refusing to help with a pregnant woman, or watch the kid while she's cooking is not a good look, but lots of people are able to handle those things all by themselves so meh. OP should take themselves out of that house and cut contact for a couple of years, and wait for a sincere apology, one that doesn't come with a request to give them money afterwards.
It's absolutely disgusting people think that because you don't have kids that means you have insurmountable free time at your disposal and thus they can drop their kids on you whenever. Just cuz I only have one mouth to feed don't think for a second that means you can get free childcare out of me or that I have time to give child care at your leisure
The parents in the second one expect OP to suck it all up and just go with it, they will legitimately never expect them to move out so that's the only course of action there is because it's the only one they won't see coming. You have to surprise them with the info after getting your ducks in a row so they cannot sabotage you or prevent you from leaving. I've learned from experience..
They're going to end up wondering why OP won't answer their texts (they blocked them all), and barge into their room while yelling about how ungrateful they are, only to be greeted to an empty room with only a note on the ground saying "Just moved out. You've been blocked. Have fun with the expenses now!"
@@akl2k7 I don’t think it’s just a matter of the parents realizing that OP has cut contact with them and they’ve screwed up that relationship. I think the Zappa of this comment is thinking what I was thinking. That the parents have come to rely on OP’s financial contribution to the household and won’t be able to make ends meet once OP is gone. And *if* they can cover the cost it won’t be without a massive change to their current lifestyle/spending and quite a bit of “shock”.
Story 2: I disagree about the first impression of "not doing anything, then you need to help me". I'm actually in OPs side because he doesn't need to accommodate for a GUEST who essentially tries to make you down and act like a servant. OP didn't need to stop cooking just because a GUEST doesn't like it, or babysit his nephew just because "family". No matter if he was paying or not, it's not his job/responsibility. He may look bad for not doing it, but that doesn't mean he is an AH.
@@Alejandrom3 I hate it when the general take is that OP is the butthole, just because a baby is involved. It's like the breeder mindset where everything except babys is irrelevant for no reason than the baby exists. I hate babys. And toddlers. They are just such disgusting little creatures. And I also have issues with being touched and feel awkward around most people in general. So being in the same room with a baby or toddler for any amount of time would make me feel awkward. And if the baby started crying I would probably run away to another room and put in earplugs. I don't know what to do. The parent should take care of their meat potato. And many young adults don't just become adults the instant they are of age. They need to find themselves, figure out where to go and what they want to do. I am just starting to figure out where to go in life and I am 24. It feels like so many people still have these unrealistic expectations of teenagers and young adults to just know what to do and move out before they are ready. I apologize for the wall of text. It just makes me angry when people have these expectations while you have no idea what to do.
If OP wasn’t paying for anything (let alone half the expenses) then he should be required/expected to contribute to the household. His brother and SIL should also be required to do so. However even in the case of OP not paying he shouldn’t be required to watch the baby. That’s not part of taking care of the household. * Unless *maybe* SIL & brother we’re paying for half of everything. Then they MAY have an argument for him helping with the baby.
Story 1: I remember this story from another channel but my verdict is the same, YTA stop pushing the dog on Dylan to force him to change his mind just because it's not your idea of a "perfect family", you want Dylan to walk the dog then walk Zeus with him. It's ironic Dylan is more mature then you are op. Story 2: NTA Jack and Jill are being ungrateful guests and your parents are enabling them, who cares if she's pregnant you both should be accommodate each other and yeah I think Jill is trying to use op as free babysitting, also who's selfish op who says no and has clear boundaries or the ones who are expecting to live rent free and dump there baby on you and control your life and where you live like wtf, I agree just move out see how the parents like it to deal with Jack and Jill alone. Story 3: NTA your bf (now ex good) cheated and lied to you regarding the rent and then everyone calls you a gold digger? Like wtf is with that logic like is it called gold digging to trick and lie to your SO about the rent? If anything it sounds like the bf is more of a gold digger and a scammer then they claim you are. Story 4: NTA so it's ok for them to disrespect you but not ok to disrespect them? Pathetic hire a babysitter next time be a bloody parent because if they did that to me I would have called the cops for child abandonment. They deserve to be called out and embarrassed for the stunt they pulled what horrible people
The dad in the first story reminds me of my own dad. When I was a kid he often could frustrated because I "had no hobbies or interests and just wanted to draw, write or play with legos all the time." My mom pointed out to him several times that those are in fact hobbies and interests. My dad could never understand that his hobbies and interests weren't the only ones in existence. And since my older brother was a clone of him, I don't he ever got over the fact that I wasn't.
My parents were like this with my younger brother and I. They were frequently disappointed in the fact that we weren’t outdoorsy and athletic type despite the fact that we’ve lived in Urban areas for most of our life and weren’t allowed to go beyond our front yard (all 10 feet of it). I got it pretty bad because I was the oldest child/daughter and my mother desperate for a girly little clone, but my brother absolutely got the worst of it from our step dad. It was bad enough that if he expressed disinterest in something they were going to force him to do (like the Boy Scouts), they would sit him down for hours long dress downs with threats of sending him to live with our father in Korea.
I can't believe how egotistical some parents are, I love that my daughter is completely different from me and my husband, she's only 4 yo and already her own person
The first story hits too close to home. When I was in middle school, my mother pestered me for MONTHS to get my ears pierced. I never wanted my ears pierced. I finally gave in and then her next hill to die on was the color of my earrings. She actually cried because I refused to get gold instead of silver. I just turned 20 yesterday and I still have holes in my ears that I never wanted.
@@Snowshowslow I think even if the piercing closes, the hole is still there because it becomes a scar. And depending on how long they had the piercings in, the hole may have healed completely before it closed so it will never close now
This is why I despise when parents get their baby's ears pierced. Not only is the baby too young to consent they're too young to even know why they're in pain. Especially because the kinds of places that will happily pierce a baby's ears always use those piercing guns that use blunt force and are super painful when compared to a very sharp professional piercing needle. Add in the heightened risk of infection and irritation because a baby can't take care of their own piercings and it's a recipe for causing permanent damage.
@@mediocremapleleaf7797 in my experience, the hole doesn’t stay but there’s like.. this hard bit of cartilage there forever now(Though mine is a bit different since I had to take mine out due to allergies)
"one of the worst" type of toxic and/or abusive parent is the ones who force their kids into being someone/something they aren't or liking someone/something they don't like. This can be from parents on both ends of the political isle for different things. (edit: forgot to add "one of the worst" and mistakenly put "The Worst")
If boundary stomping is the worst thing you think parents have done to children, i envy your naivety. Narcissistic parents are boundary stompers on good days. On bad days they're emotionally, sexually, and physically abusive. Imagine being beaten by a parent until you're in a ball on the floor to protect your head, all for not being obedient enough. Being left by the highway as a small child for talking too much. Constantly being told nobody wants you, and that if someone bought you, they'd demand a refund. And i still had it lucky compared with some. Count your blessings dude.
Story 3: At that point it’s no longer about the money and it’s about trusting the person based on past experiences. He broke that trust when he went back on his word. In the trash with him.
i would want to hear the update on the story "If my sister leaves i will call the cops". once the op moves out and parents will have to pay 100% or the mortgage, my guess will be parents either asking op's sister to pay what ever op was paying, or they will be begging op to come back and help them pay it all off
Right? What if OP had an emergency and wasn't home then the sister (who probably didn't even bother to ask or give notice) dumps them off outside? That would make me livid. Why even have kids if you're gonna dump them onto someone else instead of asking friends or other family for help? Makes no sense
@@Kakmanmartinez666 That happened at least once in one of these stories. The brother (in-law?) left the kids at OP's front door, despite repeated warnings they'd be out of town. Lo and behold, they were stuck there for a couple hours until OP noticed them all on the ring camera and called the sister. She wasn't pleased with her husband's actions and didn't know he'd been planning on doing that.
The second story kind of sounds like the "golden child" scenario, where one child is seen as perfect by the parents and the other one is to blame for everything. Of course, I don't know this, but it does sound like that.
@@lorilancaster5917 And he should accommodate any and every whim of his brother and SIL. No way. OP needs to go low/no contact with all of them and move out.
Story 2: Since you're "so selfish " but also contribute 50% of expenses then move out. The parents obviously chose their side and I guess can fend for themselves
Story 4: OP should just warn her sister that, if the kids are dropped off at theirs without their consent to look after the kids, they'll call the police for child abandonment. That sister is towing the line.
Story 3: I was on the flip side of that exact same situation. About 12 years ago the girl I was dating was making minimum wage, and really wanted to go to college but couldn't afford it. So I offered to let her move in with me rent free. She didn't have to contribute anything. Not groceries, not rent, not bills, not even date nights. I would pay for 100% of everything, including her car payment and medical expenses, so that she could put 100% of her income towards tuition. For the first year, it was great. She saved 100% of her money and very quickly had enough saved up to start taking some classes. Then...she realized she didn't want to go to college after all. And she felt guilty that I was paying for everything, because she felt like she'd broken the agreement by not going to college. So she broke up with me and moved back with her former roommates, basically returning to her former existence of working fast food and smoking weed every night. I didn't actively keep tabs on her after that, but through mutual friends etc. I would occasionally hear bits and pieces. She just sort of became a layabout. Last I heard she ended up in some sort of communal living situation with a couple families who shared a big dilapidated house, and it's like a hoarder's nightmare from the pics I've seen. It's really sad, I kind of think it's some kind of crippling depression that she never bothered to seek treatment for.
Sometimes people find it difficult to move on to a new life for whatever reason. There are plenty of things one can do to improve job prospects college is just one of them. Sounds like she was more comfortable struggling in life than adapting to new situations.
5:00 it's also apparent when he says the son "tells on him to his wife" that OP is also trying to manipulate and punish this kid without his wife's knowledge or involvement
Fourth story: OP is NTA. They have a right to refuse to take the kids when they're not able to, and this time OP had an exam to study for. OP literally said "no," and their sister dropped them off anyway. These kids aren't OP's responsibility, pure and simple. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, like getting your kids returned to you at a child free wedding.
2nd story: OP also works from home, they didn't say it, but I'm willing to bet half the time that their SIL asked for help it was while OP was working. It wouldn't be the first time someone interrupted another's work because they didn't think working from home was actually work
First story: "My son isn't like meeeee, WAAAAHHHH I will FORCE him to like what I like because I don't respect anything else, including my own promises!"
the moment OP said that Dylan didn't like sports and was quiet and different from him and his other sons, i knew OP was an asshole. like why is that important to the fact that Dylan didn't want a dog? it wasn't, but it sure is important that OP tells everyone how weird it is that one of his kids isn't a clone of him.
First story: That poor child will never go to his dad for anything after he completely ignored him and how he feels about that dog. That's how you create a cliff between yourself and your own child, by thinking they are a mini version of yourself and therefore they need to have the same interests as you. Those are the type of parents who don't understand why their child won't have anything to do with them once they're old enough to finally move out.
Story 3: Everything he agreed with was his idea, she came up with everything you even tried to be more sensible but he said no. You're completely right you do not want to be with someone that flip-flops like that, because it's not just rain who knows what else he going to randomly change about himself.
Last story: When the husband calls OP and starts whining, OP should've replied "Either I returned the kids to you or the cops would have. Who do you want to let your family and friends know that you suck as parents more?"
For the wedding one. Should have yelled "Don't abandon your children with me again, I'm not a fire station!" to worsen the embarrassment for the sister.
In story 1 the dad saying his kid is reclusive tells me that the dad hasn't even tried to connect with his kid based on the kids interests, which is only expanded on by the whole issue of him "convincing" his kid to accept getting a dog
My cousin once left her kids on my doorstep because she needed a babysitter and I'd told her no. I brought them inside, gave them lunch, and then posted some pictures from a vacation I'd taken weeks ago with "it's nice to be out of the city for a while. If anyone needs me I'll be back in town on Tuesday" and waited for her to come back in a panic
That first story beyond pissed me off. Some people are just not dog people, and you can't force them to be. 15 years ago, I wasn't a dog person at all.
The last story: OPs sister and husband are definitely AHs. I would give them a solid 3 (3.5) out of 5 AHs because of the very reasons you listed. People kill me with the whole "you're selfish" thing when they are the ones demanding you do them a favor usually inconvenient for you!
Hey there rslash, with the last story.... I was about to express the idea you said about OP's sister. About how much time she had, to either ask OP or pay someone else look after her kids. And it's true that when OP's sister dropped off her kids, that OP could of gone to work some time before the sister had shown up with the kids. So after driving off, the kids could of been sitting/standing there for hours before OP or someone else came across them.
First Story, YTA: OP is forcing all of this on Dylan when he clearly have no interest in the dog. Forcing ur son to interact with the dog because OP like the dog and wanted the dog is not right at all. This is like trying to force someone to eat something they don’t like. OP is a horrible person and a horrible father. Just because OP likes the dogs doesn’t mean everyone else has to feel the same way. No way OP is 42 acting like this Second Story, NTA: OP needs to move out of this house because this is exhausting. Just because Jill is pregnant doesn’t mean everyone’s life have to stop to accomodate them. Wow, OP pays a lot towards the house and everything and OP has to deal with this?! OP needs to move out, leave them high and dry, and move on. OP isn’t responsible for any of this Third Story, NTA: OP’s boyfriend promised all of this and said he would pay for all the rent until OP she finishes school; now all of a sudden he switched up?! Wow…OP needs to get rid of this guy. He has the absolute audacity to ask OP to come back after what he pulled?! I wouldn’t be with someone that calls me a gold digger. Good on OP for leaving that scumbag Fourth Story, NTA: OP’s sister isn’t even asking for OP’s permission to do this, she just drops the kids off with OP. What OP’s sister is doing is NOT asking for a favor. They brought this on themselves for just dropping kids off at OP’s doorstep. They was able to pay for a babysitter
Story 1: this reminds me to story of a few days ago, where a husband basically adopted a kid without asking her wife. Except that Rslash gave the wife a botthole score instead of the husband, the completely opposite of this.
Second story: OP is NTA. Jack and Jill are the parents here. They should be the ones that are doing the heavy lifting with this child yet they're expecting OP to help. OP did not sign on for this, and he has every right to refuse to take care of a child that isn't his. OP's parents are also AHs here because they are siding with Jack and Jill even demanding that OP step up to help or move out. OP has clarified in an edit that he pays half the household expenses including the mortgage. If I were OP, I'd calmly stand my ground with these parents and say, "if I leave, I'm gone. I will never help you with your living expenses again," and watch how quickly they'll change their tune.
Story 1: YTA. People seem to always be surprised when people follow through with their word and the "magical fairy bonding" never happens. Just like with parents trying to force siblings to be 24/7 besties, trying to force a bond only does more harm than good. Then the parents are totally bewildered when the kids grow up resenting each other and their parents Speaks that the parent is trying to project themselves onto their kids as a sort of clone of the parent. Parents shouldn't have kids if they are unwilling to raise anything but their dream child because what's worse than raising a 'problem child'? Being that 'problem child' who grows up unloved and neglected because they exist in a way their parent doesn't like Story 2: NTA. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to trample over others and freely demand whatever they want. And if the parents don't want to be parents, they shouldn't have had kids. Also speaks of parental favoritism where the black sheep's desires are shunted aside and belittled in favor of coddling the golden child... I wonder how far the issue goes since this doesn't seem like a 1st occurance Even IF OP didn't pay rent and just worked from home while helping out with housework, it's unreasonable to expect him to be the 24/7 impromptu free babysitter whenever others need to run errands. That's the parent's job (parents of the baby). It's unreasonable to expect him to bend over backwards accommodating his sister-in-law's every demand with no regard to his own desires/boundaries Story 3: NTA. Springing impromptu new rules into relationships is wrong. Also, sounds like boyfriend was testing the waters for what was unacceptable behavior. Sounds more like the boyfriend is a gold-digger squeezing money out of his girlfriend, or h's spineless to his shitty friends Story 4: NTA. Decency politeness first, you don't drop into someone's house unannounced. Also so they can arrange time instead of squeezing it in between other arrangements or flat or reworking their whole schedule. And if you don't enforce consequences, they'll keep doing the thing. Sister sounds like a combo of an entitledparent and choosingbeggar constantly expecting OP to be the free babysitter
The dad in story 1 reminds me of my biological father. He was neglectful of my health and safety, and pressured me into playing weird games that more than once ended in my injury. He treated me like a plaything, an excuse to do childish things as an adult, and became upset and manipulative if I said no. I refused contact when I was in 5th grade and I haven’t seen him since.
Story 1: Seriously...why is this so important to the dad...if he doesn't like dogs, he doesn't like dogs. Also...if he destroys stuff, that's a MAJOR trigger for me so yeah...I get not wanting that dog in his room.
Story1: OP is hereby found guilty of bad parenting of the first degree and the sentence is confiscation of the dog and three weeks in jail *strikes gavel *
1st story, the bit that really stuck out for me was when there was agreement to get the dog, op says "that's enough for now" he planned to go ahead the way he did from the start. His threat was not caused by frustration. This was the next logical point to escalate his plan to force his kid to like their dog, that he was clear he didn't want
Story 2: I agree with RSlash that OP buried the lede. That edit COMPLETELY changed my opinion. You were already paying 50% of expenses when both your mom and dad work??? Go ahead and leave and see how they like paying for everything with a couple of useless leeches in the house
Story 1: It's also unfair for the dog too, OP says he follows Dylan and is excited to see him while Dylan doesn't want to interact with the dog. The dog most likely won't be able to understand why Dylan is ignoring him and I feel bad for the dog too.
Story 4: NTA; I don't know if OP has made her boundaries clear, but I doubt she hasn't. As well, the sister shows OP nothing but disrespect constantly, and then gets pissed when OP pushes back against that.
OP from the first story reminds me too much of my dad… my dad literally threatened to leave our family if my mom didn’t relent to letting him have a dog.
Happy Veterans Day for those of you celebrating! *First OP:* In this story, OP *1* Wore down his wife and son to get a dog. *2* Lied to his son about not having to internet with the dog just to get him to agree. *3* Threatened to take away his trips to the comic book store if he didn’t walk the dog _that he didn’t want._ It’s also telling how OP said he had a hard time relating to the middle son because he’s different from his brothers. OP is TA times 10. Only 3/5 Buttholes? Nah, dude deserves the full 5/5. 4/5 at least. *Second OP:* OP’s family trampled over OP’s boundaries countless times. Maybe OP _should_ move out of the house and let Jack & Jill (lol at the names) be OP’s parents’ problem. OP is NTA. *Third OP:* I’ve never been in a relationship, but I imagine that OP’s boyfriend changing his mind about OP paying half the rent would be a red flag. Am I wrong. OP is NTA. I’m glad she broke up with her boyfriend. *Fourth OP:* Why couldn’t OP’s sister hire a babysitter? Oh, wait; babysitters cost money. OP is NTA. OP’s sister should be grateful OP didn’t call the cops on her and her husband for child abandonment. What’s worse: OP showing up to the wedding to drop off the kids, or the cops showing up to the wedding to arrest OP’s sister and BIL?
the last story, i thought op was ta because usually having a kid at a child free wedding is an asshole move but honestly, it sounded like his sister abandoned her kids so op could be a cheap ass babysitter.
So, we finally found out what happend when Jack and Jill went up the hill.. (I'm so sorry, my brain is firing on all cylinders today.. but come on I couldn't let that joke slide.)
Story 1: duuuude I'm so on the kid's side, my family got a dog without ever consulting me, I never wanted one and made it clear that I wasn't a fan of the idea afterwards. After a few years of having the dog, guess who was mostly responsible for taking him out etc? Me. I drew a firm line later on when I was the last of mom's kids still living with her, that I would NOT be taking anymore responsibility for him since he was never my dog. In the end I managed to get out of the primary care, only taking him out and feeding him when mom was away for several days. Don't get me wrong, I liked the dog, he was cute and cuddly and a very happy boy, but I'm decidedly not a dog person, and after being forced to have a dog and take care of one when nobody else would, I am even less of a one. I barely have enough patience for a cat, that's mostly self reliant, let alone a dog that needs so much active attention. At least my cat doesn't need to go outside every few hours every day.
First story: Dylan is weird, because he doesn't wanted a dog? What's the father thinking!? He is not weird, he just doesn't want a dog or any pet at all. And right at the start, he compared him to his other son's, because he doesn't like the same things which they like. Where's the problem? He is an individual with his own preferences! And then, he tried to force the dog on Dylan, which only will lead to him more not liking the dog! My partners mother never could live without pets. Dogs, cats etc and she never consulted her sons if she wanted pets too. Well, my brother in law just went with it, but my partner didn't like it and thus, never warmed up to the pets, but still was forced to interact with them (food, litter box, walking etc). To this day, he talks about how much he hated it and that he never liked the pets and he doesn't want pets anymore.
"It would have hurt to watch them for a few hours" that isn't to you BIL to decide. They don't get to tell you how to run your life and just expect you to bend to their will. Even if you were doing nothing, the fact that they didn't ask and dumped the kids is reason enough to do what OP did in that last story.
I love dogs, but even I know not everyone loves dogs. Respect that. Yo even if he was a free loader, he's not freeloading from his siblings. It is 100% not reasonable to expect someone else to take care of your kid.
2nd story. Jack and Jill sound MEGA entitled and his parents enable their behavior. They choose to get pregnant, they can deal w a small guest bedroom and foods op made. Poor guy, hope he moves out bc fuck jack and Jill's do nothing selves
First story is even darker than you think. As a possibility for reason he may not like it; Dylan is on the spectrum/neurodivergent the dog interrupts with any pattern Dylan may have used as a coping mechanism. So, yeah, not for sure on it. But yeah, it's how I was with the family dog.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. Silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son. Jack goes to work and his wife is a dork. I can't figure out how to end this rhyme so I'm just going to stop wasting my time.
8:39 “Cant believe they raised such a selfish human being.” Who’s the one that DEMANDED to take over their inlaws room because she’s pregnant? Who’s the one who forced their inlaw to stop cooking food they like because “she can’t stand the smell.” WHOS the one who expects their in-law to be a maid for her? I get being pregnant is tough, but there was a guest room available, if you don’t like the smell of food being cooked, that’s a you problem, if anyone is selfish in that story it’s the couple and the parents because they are allowing the couple to do whatever they want because “Being pregnant/being a mother is hard.” NTA.
With the story about the dog... A relative of mine has made it clear during their childhood they aren't an animal person. Nobody in the family expects them to care for any of their pets, ever. As a result, this person is civil and nice to all pets we have. If a cat or dog comes up to them for attention, they give the animal attention. They talk kindly to our animals and uphold the discipline the animals are used to. (gently discouraging bad behavior, rewarding where needed etc) This person still doesn't like animals and doesn't take on direct pet care, (and they aren't asked to) but since nobody forced interactions they don't resent or mistreat the animals. That is how you get a pet-averse person to warm up to animals. Respect their boundaries.
My Dad and stepmom rented a nice house some years ago. One day, their sweet little shihtzu pup (Einstein) escaped into the neighbor’s backyard. Two little boys had been playing and got scared. Their mom went over to my parents’ house and told Mom her dog was in the yard and please come get him as the kids were scared. Mom said of course I will but just to reassure you somewhat my dog is very friendly. The mom said she could tell he was but the boys were still nervous. Mom went and got him. He had a few more escapes, Mom retrieved. After the third, the boys fell in love with Einstein and began coaxing him into their yard and coming into my parents’ yard to say hi and pet Einstein!
Oddly enough, that's how you get an animal to warm up to you, too. _Respect their boundaries._
@@wmdkitty My childhood dog had no boundaries, she loved any attention she got, my dad could be petting her then pick her up a bit and toss her a bit away and she would excitedly come back for more
I ended up looking that one up on reddit and...wow, it's even worse if you read through the comments. I really hope it's a troll and not a real situation because that dad needs therapy and the roasting he got in the comments, while well deserved, probably wasn't the right way to help him change. And boy does he need to change.
Precisely this. My sister is terrified of dogs, so growing up we never had one in the house or forced her to interact with them. She got bitten by one when she was young, if I remember correctly, so she had a perfectly reasonable reason as to why she avoided them. Now, my uncle had two massive dogs and a ton of cats [ferals, which he rehabilitated and sent out for adoption], and whenever we were over the dogs would stay in the kitchen or outside. Over time my sister relaxed around dogs, but this was over a decade ago so what I remember isn't exact. Forcing people to interact with animals is just going to make them dislike or hate said animal more.
In general, if someone oversteps your boundaries and tries to force you to do something, they're directly disrespecting you and ignoring your preferences. It's a form of bullying that doesn't get called out a lot because it doesn't seem severe, but it is severe if it becomes such a pattern that the person who's getting stepped on eventually relents to anything someone else wants them to do or think. People deserve to be people, not doormats, and that includes respecting their opinions, worries, fears, etc. Especially kids. If a kid gets stepped on too much eventually they'll never stand up for themselves. But, the opposite is also true - if you respect them and treat them as an equal they'll respect you back.
1. Dylan set a reasonable boundary and OP pounced all over it because “he thought he would warm up to the dog by now!”
2. I’m surprised OP didn’t weaponize his financial contributions the moment SIL chose to weaponize her pregnancy
3. BF is fickle glad OP got out
4. Sis and BIL should be thankful OP didn’t call cops
2. It probably didn’t occur to him to weaponize his contributions because he’s not an entitled ass like his SIL. Tbh, I would have tried to get out LONG before the baby was born if things were starting off that badly.
Good use of "fickle", bad use of "pounce". He's not taking advantage of the boundaries his son set, you "pounce" on an opportunity, or an unsuspecting person, or something like that. The dad is walking or stomping all over it, he is ignoring or disregarding or disrespecting it.
@@Tustin2121
I would have taken "pregnant SIL is moving in" as the sign to move out, never mind any hostility that followed.
"Strange lady and then a baby when I know I dislike babies and have no intention of helping? Bye!"
3. Is wrong, that BF was trying to be manipulative, by making OP move with him then demand rent, he would then say to her he would be take care of the rent (as promised before) but he would institute some rules.
Why do i think that? The moment he was "willingly to accept her $800", since it would still give him more influence in the relationship since he is still paying MORE.
@@Tustin2121 I think I would’ve as soon as I was told to move to another room
Story 1: Some parents seem to think that parenting = creating clones of themselves. And yeah, that's definitely toxic parenting.
The whole mini-me thing is just awful since the child will most definitely go a different direction.
Right like they expect the methods that worked for them to work on you and then wonder why it's not working, um because we're not you
Not to mention you call tell OP is entitled in general. I know this sounds harsh, but the first few sentences alone scream: "I deserve a dog because I never got to have one as a kid."
Right! "I wanted a dog all MY life and cant fathom why someone wouldn't!". I feel for the dog because OP never having a dog before really shows in this post... Sounds like he is pushing the responsibility of HIS dog onto the kids as a "learning lesson" that HE clearly needs! The fact that he wont even acknowledge the dogs poor training and glosses over the dog "destroying things" tells me a LOT about OP... He omitted the reasons WHY his son would dislike the dog because he wants to be right in this situation!
@@silverflight01 The child will be under extreme pressure to fit the mental fantasy their parents created for them. But when you're measuring against a mental fantasy, nothing you do will ever be enough because it's just an unrealistic fantasy. And then the parent gets upset that the child goes down a different direction (ie: artistic rather than sporty)
Story 2: Yeah, everyone is siding with Jill, so OP is just better off leaving.
Jack and Jill can go pay that 50%. Perhaps that will change things.
Trying to make a maid out of a sibling is just plain wrong
Sounds a bit like OP is the scapegoat child. I hope he moved out and cut ties with these people.
@CK George1989 even if he wasn’t they would be treating him like garbage either way
Jack and Jill is the best Adam Sandler movie
And that is regardless of their employment. Moving room was fine. Changing their meals was pushing it. But no matter what expecting a sibling or child, regardless of their age or living situation, to suddenly help with a CHILD they in no way should have any responsibility for is FUCKED. I understand asking for reasonable normal help during someone's downtime. That is just human. But to expect them to drop everything to assist is nonsense.
OP wrote that if he did it would blow their finances to shit. The parents couldn't continue living there without Jack and Jill taking over for OP which would force (in his words) "Entitled Princess" to get back to work.
Something missed in story 1. The kid went to his mum because of the punishment and she got upset. This tells me 1 of 2 things. 1) he didnt run it by her or 2) he did, she told him not to do it, he did it anyway. This "dad" is such an ass.
I’m betting it’s the first. He doesn’t come off as the “ run it by my partner first” kind of guy
@@lorilancaster5917 That is because a marriage is not a partnership and also, if that person about thinks that dad is such an ass, I have something to present to you about what a real ass of a dad is like.
@@josephnorris4095 - Sorry, are you defending this ass of a dad? Are you defending him by saying “he’s not as bad as he could be”???
@@josephnorris4095 ????
Marriage is literally a partnership lmao. You are quite literally combining your assets with another person
@@josephnorris4095 dads can be asses in different ways. Just because you think yours sucks more doesn't change that this dad is also ass
*First OP:* I noticed a few people pointing out how mature Dylan sounds while stating his boundaries. Speaking from experience, I’m wondering if Dylan’s maturity is due to him choosing his words carefully to not anger OP. If that’s the case, then that makes OP even worse than he already is.
Yeah its pretty concerning as wel... means they are likely constantly walking on eggshels around op.
Kids learn to mature fast around abusive parents because they learn early on that that certain words/phrases are enough to get them in trouble
@nationalinstituteofcheese3012 and it seems in the story that only the nerdy kid had to be walking on eggshells since the other kids were already on the dads side wanting the dog.
What irritates me to no end is when parents ignore their kid's boundaries. Kids are people too. They deserve respect
Kids aren't people, they are monsters.
Exactly. It’s sad some adults ignore kids for being kids. Umm 🧐 ya, it’s not like talking to kids is part of raising them. Teaching them communication & listening skills & such.
@@patrickmarsh2538 nah, i hate little kids too but theyre only monsters when their parents dont treat them like the humans they are. this mentality does nothing to help the very real issue of children being treated as tools or objects.
literally. and if people can't understand that they shouldn't have kids.
R-Slash is right about the wearing him down, and the same with the wife, being weird, and unpleasant.
And even the reasoning for the asking the kid to walk the dog is bad.
But Boundaries is some bullshit. Walking the dog is a chore. If a kid said, "I don't want to associate with the dirty dishes." Nobody would say the parent is the asshole for telling them to wash them anyways.
Story 1: Yep, you're the AH
Story 2: Move out and let them go broke. When you get the call to move back because of a "misunderstanding", say "No, I like it here"
Story 3: Bait and switch indeed. BF is an AH
Story 4: Classic tale of Person A does something selfish. Person B doesn't put up with it, so Person A calls person B "selfish". Sister and husband are the AH, easy
"You moved me out of my room with no advance notice, or [presumably] even an apology for the inconvenience after the fact. So notice shouldn't be necessary for me moving /myself/ out either. And you put me in the guest room, so clearly you don't really want me here except to help with bills and be a live-in free babysitter."
Feels reasonable to me.
Son: doesn't want dog
OP: gets untrained, jumpy, destructive dog
Son: doesn't want to interact with nightmare dog
OP: shocked Pikachu
Yeah, Dylan (and the wife) probably knew this is exactly what would happen!
I mean, OP got what he wanted, but it wasn't enough for him to just let his son do what he wanted.
OP comes across as the parent who prefers his other two sons because Dylan is "different". The sort of parent who doesn't bother trying to bond, because "my son doesn't like sport, so there's nothing to talk about". Also that would make him a hypocrite, because he's forcing his son to like the dog, but OP doesn't want to make an effort with his own son.
not just an untrained jumpy dog, but an untrained jumpy great dane puppy as a first time dog owner
Story 4: The thing about babysitting is that both parties MUST agree to when to babysit, and the sister basically assumes that OP will always agree because she's a parent and OP is not.
No, that's not how it works, because that'll eventually lead to an abandonment case
I would have called the cops and then told my sister that I wasn't even home, so good luck on that. And then when they showed up, I just wouldn't open the door.
I had called the cops for abandonment. And tell the truth. Yes, I babysit sometimes, but I sad I can not today, my sister drops them of anyway, now Mr./Mrs. Officer you are here.
@@paul-georgjordan2650 I disagree. We don't know the full story, and bringing the police into the situation unnecessarily can cause much larger problems -- and not just for the parents. Forcing the parents to be parents was the right move.
Too many people assume that because you are single, you have plenty of time to devote to whatever it is they want you to do. In fact, as a working professional or full-time student, you probably have less time than married couples do because they can divide the chores and other necessary responsibilities between two people, while you have to do it all yourself.
@Otdreamer193 Yep, the infamous "Give an inch, take a mile"
Story 1: That guy isn't just a bad dad...he's a bad dog owner for not teaching the dog not to jump or tear up his kid's property...
Exactly this!
Right????? I was concerned that they had that puppy for months. If he's destroying things doesn't that mean puppy isn't stimulated enough.
@@charminglady2011 Now I usually try and not to jump to the worst ever conclusions, but OP pointed out several times that he doesn't connect with Dylan because he isn't "a complete copy of of OP". He obviously doesn't like that Dylan likes things OP isn't himself interested in, and while this is pretty damn farfetched of me, it kind of sounds like OP doesn't give a shit that Dylan's things gets ruined, or even thinks that it isn't that big of a deal. He certainly didn't have a problem with threatening Dylan's interests and hobbies just because he didn't get his way.
I wonder how quickly OP's mind would change if the dog destroyed his things.
@@charminglady2011 some puppy’s are like that, my aunts was like that for over a year with daily walks, playing, etc
No. He’s a bad dad and a bad dog owner.
Story 1: don’t force your kid to have a pet, nothing is worse than living with an animal they don’t want. My mum wants a pet but she won’t get one because I don’t want one, OP needs to grow up and care about his kid
And it's SO bad for the animal to be put through this! This almost always results in terrible care or even abuse.
And his wife since she didn’t want one as well
Then you don't respect her boundaries for wanting a pet
This happened to my senior of hs- I wanted a dog all my childhood but my parents always said no. Then when I committed to college, they got a dog that I didn’t want in order to trick me into staying home and not going to school to take care of it
I agree. As a kid this happened with a rescue that got put to a family vote I didn’t like that little (cocker spaniel) bastard and told them I didn’t want to deal with it at all. Guess who still got stuck with having to help out with him?! I resented that dog and never bonded with him. Later on I fell in love with a great chocolate lab and that was “my” dog. I did everything for that dog and never complained.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of brandy. Jack got nude, and Jill got screwed, and that's how they had Andy.
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 well well well freaking Said...
🤣 😂 🤣 😂
@Allen Banks not everyone thinks like you Jesus wannabe..
That’s why these parents should be better, children are gifts from God that not everyone deserves. I’m not to say who though.
@@thetruth1816 ouch who hurt you in life
First story: OP is the AH. Not only is it his dog, but Dylan has made it clear that he didn't want a pet in his life, and wanted nothing to do with Zeus. OP has chosen to force Dylan to have a relationship with Zeus, in complete disregard to Dylan's feelings. I agree with rSlash here that this story may have been presented in a way to make it not look so bad. I wonder if Zeus' "playfulness" is in fact more aggressive than OP is willing to believe, and that Zeus has actually caused damage to Dylan's stuff in the past (which would totally be a valid reason to not let Zeus into Dylan's room.).
Also sounds like OP hasn’t trained Zeus which further causes resentment
So just reading between the lines here, but OP is clearly a toxic alpha male. And he went and named the dog "Zeus". Which scenario seems more likely, that he got a Yorkshire Terrier named Zeus....or something like a Great Dane? Odds are, this dog is HUGE, given that OP has demonstrated a clear inability to be responsible for his own decisions, probably has not been trained or even properly housebroken. So...yeah. What's most likely happening is there's a big excitable dog knocking shit around like a bull in a china shop, which is probably fine if you're outside and running around, but not for an indoor dog.
The fact that dog jumps all over Dylan... I'd be _furious._ I have Aspergers and I don't like being jumped on. Period. End of story. I imagine that if the boy doesn't like the dog, having it jump on him isn't welcome either. Additionally, I have a picture of the dog breed chosen with a name like "Zeus" and I'm sure it's not helpful.
In my opinion it doesn't even matter whether the dog has broken Dylan's stuff; if he doesn't want the dog in his room, he shouldn't even need a reason.
@@zimonzieclown1633 Exactly this. It's his room, so he doesn't have to let the dog in there if he doesn't want to.
Story 2: I feel like paying half of all bills including mortgage is going beyond rent at that point you're pretty much a partner in the house and should have some level of decision making power.
If you’re paying half of everything and the other half is being split between two people then I’d argue you should be the decision maker.
@@Nebraska60 That's exactly what I was going to say.
To expand on your point in the first one; OP is teaching his kid that his word means nothing and not to trust him because any promise made will never be upheld. He's also effectively punishing him for being different and that will drive Dylan further away until he goes no contact with OP.
i would not be surprised if dylan goes nc with op when he's 18 because op sounds like a shitty parent.
There's also the fact that the method was all about wearing down people than actually trying to communicate or make compromise. Like maybe if they'd actually talked to mom and Dylan and learned about the reasons they don't want dogs then they could have worked to address that. Like if they were worried about a noisy or untrained or destructive or messy dog then they could have gotten mom and Dylan involved in the process of at least picking out a dog that won't trigger them/easier to ignore or even compromising on getting a different animal or just visiting an animal shelter to interact with dogs without bringing em home
Yep. My parents constantly complained and berated me as a teenager for my music and style choices (I dressed emo and listened to the accompanying music) and also made it clear that I was never to get tattoos or piercings aside from basic earlobe or ear cartilage. They constantly asked me why I had to dress like that and insisted I needed to listen to "happier music". This is on top of some unnecessary restrictions as a teenager that taught me nothing about how to function in life. They constantly judged what others did on the basis of what they did/didn't do. They hated motorcycles and saw them as a waste of money because they had no interest in them, for example. They judged people who owned them. I got so sick of their crap that I moved two states away. I still see them on holidays, but we aren't close at all. That's what the OP has to look forward to if he's lucky.
@@triforce_majora Yep and if he's unlucky and gets what he actually deserves, Dylan will go no-contact.
@@sourisvoleur4854 Honestly, with how all-around shitty the dude is, I hope his wife divorces his ass and takes the kids, and leaves him with the dog. If not for her own sake, but for the sake of those boys. Because OP isn't just teaching Dylan all this shit, he's also teaching his other children that it's okay to treat people that way.
Story 2: Who else wants to bet that if Op DID move out…like…a month or 2 afterwards his parents would come crawling back demanding he either move back in, or send them money to help with the mortgage.
Naw NTA Op, YOU pay rent, YOU work, your SIL does neither of those things, therefore YOU don’t need to be HER personal slave.
I would say it's almost a certainty that's how it would unfold
I'm willing to bet it would be within 2 weeks..
Yeah, the minute they realize OP is outta there, the guilt tripping and demands will start. "How can you do this?" 'We're family!" Yeah, whatever. OP needs to rent their own place and leave those folks to pay their own bills. The fact that the parents made OP move to a smaller room while paying half the bills? Hell no!
And don't forget that the actual parents would soon be whining about how one or both has to sacrifice their "girls/boys night out" to watch the kids, or the grandparents complain their TV time is interrupted by a child demanding constant attention
This is another reason I would go no contact when I moved out if I was in this situation. Less guilt trips that way.
Story 2: When I heard that he was paying half of the bills - including mortgage - and they made him move into a smaller room for the freeloaders I was so mad in his behalf! Move out. You contribute and once that’s gone they can fight amongst themselves.
The first story sounds like a dad who got a puppy and didn’t mind taking care of it when it was cute and small, but now that puppy is 7 months old, untrained, and he doesn’t want the responsibility anymore. The fact that the kid won’t even let the dog in his room for fear he’ll destroy things is very telling.
That last story: every time I hear a story about someone dropping their kids off with a family member without the family member saying it was okay drives me up the walls. Your kids = your responsibility not anyone else’s. You ask if the person wants to keep your kids for you and if they say no, move on to someone else. Don’t just assume that your family is okay with keeping YOUR kids. If they don’t want to spend time with them, that’s on them, not you. If they are busy, don’t make their life harder because YOU didn’t plan accordingly. Op was definitely NTA and her sis and BIL were major A-holes.
right now my mother is picking up my niece to stay over here with us. the thing is, i was not consulted on this decision and am still expected to watch and care for her. we don't have a guest room for her to stay in and my computer is in my bedroom. i have online school work to do and will be busy last into the night. people just assuming that you will watch their kids is one of the reasons i'm now not happy to watch my nieces. i used to love watching them, but no longer.
Story 2: Even if the guy was freeloading, he could be expected to help out with household responsibilities, even change rooms, but that does NOT mean he should be expected to be a personal servant or built-in babysitter, especially when they are also freeloaders. So even without paying half, he still wouldnt be the butthole.
Exactly helping with chores doesn’t mean unlimited babysitting or fee financial aide… some people have boundaries with pets (1st story) others with kids, so being related is no obligation to be bullied into other peoples life choices.
Exactly this. Why isn't her husband helping her?! If she needed critical help during her pregnancy, why wasn't help hired?
@@Catnipatrick The only thing about the story that raises my eyebrow is the not watching the baby to take a shower? Also the hate kids, not bonding with your nephew or niece.
@@xeedflarian9748 some of us actually do hate children. they're loud, gross, sticky, needy, and expensive. not everyone wants to bond with the younger members of the family. i hate that we're just expected to drop everything for kids that aren't even ours or that we're expected to like them.
it's not op's baby, they have no responsibility to it if they don't want it.
@@ivanadragmire2873 I know some do but this is what raises my eyebrow at those people, I'm not saying they are wrong for the way they feel. I just don't hold those people in high regards, but that's just me.
Story 1: you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the difference between listening and obeying. Abusers will say listening when they mean obeying, because they want the people they control to have a reflexive response to whatever they say without question. Actual listening requires one to consciously think about whether a demand is justified or not.
That first story. My mom has done the same stuff with every animal shes gotten to me and my brother. I hate all but one cat. We told my mom we didn't want them and the responsibility was thrown on me and my brother because we are still doing school virtually. We hate it
How many animals did she get?
@@songohan3321 4
@@ocatatodapotato2497 I am so sorry bro I've got a chill guinea pig and can't imagine having dogs/cats/any other type of pet and being forced to take care of them
Also it's toxic for her to force the responsibility onto you guys because with me I wanted the guinea pig so I ALONE take care of him and don't force her or my brothers to help me with the responsibilities.If SHE wanted a pet SHE can also take care of them on HER OWN.
Story 2: if you can afford to pay half of the expenses for four other people, then you can afford to live on your own. Also if you pay that much then they were bluffing, four people in a baby and they're about to lose half of all the house's income, the second you decide to move their even going to guilt trip you or backtrack. I say move, there's no point in staying in a place where you are constantly fighting with three other people.
I wouldn't be in the least surprised if they tried to force OP to continue to support the household financially even after they moved to their own place
Move quietly though. Don't even mention it until the lease is signed and you're packing up boxes
@@christinacartter9784 Oh, absolutely! Why give them any pre-warning given how ridiculous and entitled they are? Hell, I might even move out slowly over the course of a month if I could afford it.
Like rslash, I thought OP was a freeloading 'failure to launch' until I saw the edit. Sounds like the parents expect OP to support them 'in their old age'. I also noted earlier in the story that OP was doing his own cooking, which told me he was helping out around the house.
1 kicked out of his room in the house he's paying 50% of expenses for.
2 told he's not allowed to cook what he wants in the house he's paying 50% for.
I mean the refusing to help with a pregnant woman, or watch the kid while she's cooking is not a good look, but lots of people are able to handle those things all by themselves so meh.
OP should take themselves out of that house and cut contact for a couple of years, and wait for a sincere apology, one that doesn't come with a request to give them money afterwards.
It's absolutely disgusting people think that because you don't have kids that means you have insurmountable free time at your disposal and thus they can drop their kids on you whenever.
Just cuz I only have one mouth to feed don't think for a second that means you can get free childcare out of me or that I have time to give child care at your leisure
Story 4: Childfree does not equal commitment free, we aren’t always free to babysit. It was child abandonment. Plain and simple.
The parents in the second one expect OP to suck it all up and just go with it, they will legitimately never expect them to move out so that's the only course of action there is because it's the only one they won't see coming.
You have to surprise them with the info after getting your ducks in a row so they cannot sabotage you or prevent you from leaving.
I've learned from experience..
Whats your situation now? The cops might be able to do something about false imprisonment
Can't wait until the parents' ultimatum in the second story backfires gloriously.
They're going to end up wondering why OP won't answer their texts (they blocked them all), and barge into their room while yelling about how ungrateful they are, only to be greeted to an empty room with only a note on the ground saying "Just moved out. You've been blocked. Have fun with the expenses now!"
@@akl2k7 I will be waiting for that
@@akl2k7 I don’t think it’s just a matter of the parents realizing that OP has cut contact with them and they’ve screwed up that relationship.
I think the Zappa of this comment is thinking what I was thinking. That the parents have come to rely on OP’s financial contribution to the household and won’t be able to make ends meet once OP is gone. And *if* they can cover the cost it won’t be without a massive change to their current lifestyle/spending and quite a bit of “shock”.
Story 2: I disagree about the first impression of "not doing anything, then you need to help me". I'm actually in OPs side because he doesn't need to accommodate for a GUEST who essentially tries to make you down and act like a servant. OP didn't need to stop cooking just because a GUEST doesn't like it, or babysit his nephew just because "family". No matter if he was paying or not, it's not his job/responsibility. He may look bad for not doing it, but that doesn't mean he is an AH.
If he wasn't contributing financially then he would be in the same position as his brother and SIL, if they're guests and so is he
@@radhiadeedou8286 i understand that, but it still o reason for him (as a guest) to take care of another guest children.
@@Alejandrom3 I hate it when the general take is that OP is the butthole, just because a baby is involved. It's like the breeder mindset where everything except babys is irrelevant for no reason than the baby exists. I hate babys. And toddlers. They are just such disgusting little creatures. And I also have issues with being touched and feel awkward around most people in general. So being in the same room with a baby or toddler for any amount of time would make me feel awkward. And if the baby started crying I would probably run away to another room and put in earplugs. I don't know what to do. The parent should take care of their meat potato. And many young adults don't just become adults the instant they are of age. They need to find themselves, figure out where to go and what they want to do. I am just starting to figure out where to go in life and I am 24. It feels like so many people still have these unrealistic expectations of teenagers and young adults to just know what to do and move out before they are ready. I apologize for the wall of text. It just makes me angry when people have these expectations while you have no idea what to do.
If OP wasn’t paying for anything (let alone half the expenses) then he should be required/expected to contribute to the household. His brother and SIL should also be required to do so.
However even in the case of OP not paying he shouldn’t be required to watch the baby. That’s not part of taking care of the household. *
Unless *maybe* SIL & brother we’re paying for half of everything. Then they MAY have an argument for him helping with the baby.
Story 1: I remember this story from another channel but my verdict is the same, YTA stop pushing the dog on Dylan to force him to change his mind just because it's not your idea of a "perfect family", you want Dylan to walk the dog then walk Zeus with him. It's ironic Dylan is more mature then you are op.
Story 2: NTA Jack and Jill are being ungrateful guests and your parents are enabling them, who cares if she's pregnant you both should be accommodate each other and yeah I think Jill is trying to use op as free babysitting, also who's selfish op who says no and has clear boundaries or the ones who are expecting to live rent free and dump there baby on you and control your life and where you live like wtf, I agree just move out see how the parents like it to deal with Jack and Jill alone.
Story 3: NTA your bf (now ex good) cheated and lied to you regarding the rent and then everyone calls you a gold digger? Like wtf is with that logic like is it called gold digging to trick and lie to your SO about the rent? If anything it sounds like the bf is more of a gold digger and a scammer then they claim you are.
Story 4: NTA so it's ok for them to disrespect you but not ok to disrespect them? Pathetic hire a babysitter next time be a bloody parent because if they did that to me I would have called the cops for child abandonment. They deserve to be called out and embarrassed for the stunt they pulled what horrible people
The dad in the first story reminds me of my own dad. When I was a kid he often could frustrated because I "had no hobbies or interests and just wanted to draw, write or play with legos all the time." My mom pointed out to him several times that those are in fact hobbies and interests. My dad could never understand that his hobbies and interests weren't the only ones in existence. And since my older brother was a clone of him, I don't he ever got over the fact that I wasn't.
My parents were like this with my younger brother and I. They were frequently disappointed in the fact that we weren’t outdoorsy and athletic type despite the fact that we’ve lived in Urban areas for most of our life and weren’t allowed to go beyond our front yard (all 10 feet of it).
I got it pretty bad because I was the oldest child/daughter and my mother desperate for a girly little clone, but my brother absolutely got the worst of it from our step dad. It was bad enough that if he expressed disinterest in something they were going to force him to do (like the Boy Scouts), they would sit him down for hours long dress downs with threats of sending him to live with our father in Korea.
I can't believe how egotistical some parents are, I love that my daughter is completely different from me and my husband, she's only 4 yo and already her own person
"all they do is things i dont do, so they have no hobbies" "those are hobbies." "*shocked pikachu face*"
The first story hits too close to home. When I was in middle school, my mother pestered me for MONTHS to get my ears pierced. I never wanted my ears pierced. I finally gave in and then her next hill to die on was the color of my earrings. She actually cried because I refused to get gold instead of silver. I just turned 20 yesterday and I still have holes in my ears that I never wanted.
Man that sucks :( Have you ever considered letting them grow closed again? Or does that not happen after so long?
@@Snowshowslow I think even if the piercing closes, the hole is still there because it becomes a scar. And depending on how long they had the piercings in, the hole may have healed completely before it closed so it will never close now
This is why I despise when parents get their baby's ears pierced. Not only is the baby too young to consent they're too young to even know why they're in pain. Especially because the kinds of places that will happily pierce a baby's ears always use those piercing guns that use blunt force and are super painful when compared to a very sharp professional piercing needle. Add in the heightened risk of infection and irritation because a baby can't take care of their own piercings and it's a recipe for causing permanent damage.
@@mediocremapleleaf7797 in my experience, the hole doesn’t stay but there’s like.. this hard bit of cartilage there forever now(Though mine is a bit different since I had to take mine out due to allergies)
@@Pudgeon makes sense. That’s just what happened to my sister but I think she also has a weird cartilage ball too
"one of the worst" type of toxic and/or abusive parent is the ones who force their kids into being someone/something they aren't or liking someone/something they don't like. This can be from parents on both ends of the political isle for different things. (edit: forgot to add "one of the worst" and mistakenly put "The Worst")
If boundary stomping is the worst thing you think parents have done to children, i envy your naivety. Narcissistic parents are boundary stompers on good days. On bad days they're emotionally, sexually, and physically abusive. Imagine being beaten by a parent until you're in a ball on the floor to protect your head, all for not being obedient enough. Being left by the highway as a small child for talking too much. Constantly being told nobody wants you, and that if someone bought you, they'd demand a refund. And i still had it lucky compared with some. Count your blessings dude.
Ummm...., I'd still say a pedophile is worse but okay.
Maybe it would be best to put "One of the" before "worst".
It's a shitty thing but definitely not the worst 😂
@@akl2k7 sorry. Though I did. Will be changing it.
Story 3: At that point it’s no longer about the money and it’s about trusting the person based on past experiences. He broke that trust when he went back on his word. In the trash with him.
i would want to hear the update on the story "If my sister leaves i will call the cops". once the op moves out and parents will have to pay 100% or the mortgage, my guess will be parents either asking op's sister to pay what ever op was paying, or they will be begging op to come back and help them pay it all off
When OP moves out, they should just block the parents, brother and SIL for six months.
Last Story: Parents who leave their children on someone's doorstep are always the ahole
And it’s so frustrating that she is deliberately giving next to no notice is to try and force babysitting
Right? What if OP had an emergency and wasn't home then the sister (who probably didn't even bother to ask or give notice) dumps them off outside? That would make me livid. Why even have kids if you're gonna dump them onto someone else instead of asking friends or other family for help? Makes no sense
@@Kakmanmartinez666 That happened at least once in one of these stories. The brother (in-law?) left the kids at OP's front door, despite repeated warnings they'd be out of town. Lo and behold, they were stuck there for a couple hours until OP noticed them all on the ring camera and called the sister. She wasn't pleased with her husband's actions and didn't know he'd been planning on doing that.
The second story kind of sounds like the "golden child" scenario, where one child is seen as perfect by the parents and the other one is to blame for everything.
Of course, I don't know this, but it does sound like that.
It definitely comes off that way too. Since OP doesn’t want to make them grandparents then he should show his love by giving them half his income
@@lorilancaster5917 And he should accommodate any and every whim of his brother and SIL. No way. OP needs to go low/no contact with all of them and move out.
Yup. Also, being pregnant isn't an excuse to make unreasonable demands from everyone around you
With a good chunk of Middle Child Syndrome thrown in as well.
@@ahstiasummers5583 I don't think any request was unreasonable just entitled
Story 2: Since you're "so selfish " but also contribute 50% of expenses then move out. The parents obviously chose their side and I guess can fend for themselves
Have you ever noticed that the ones crying "you're so selfish" are usually the selfish ones lol good gravy
Story 4: OP should just warn her sister that, if the kids are dropped off at theirs without their consent to look after the kids, they'll call the police for child abandonment. That sister is towing the line.
Story 3: I was on the flip side of that exact same situation. About 12 years ago the girl I was dating was making minimum wage, and really wanted to go to college but couldn't afford it. So I offered to let her move in with me rent free. She didn't have to contribute anything. Not groceries, not rent, not bills, not even date nights. I would pay for 100% of everything, including her car payment and medical expenses, so that she could put 100% of her income towards tuition.
For the first year, it was great. She saved 100% of her money and very quickly had enough saved up to start taking some classes. Then...she realized she didn't want to go to college after all. And she felt guilty that I was paying for everything, because she felt like she'd broken the agreement by not going to college. So she broke up with me and moved back with her former roommates, basically returning to her former existence of working fast food and smoking weed every night.
I didn't actively keep tabs on her after that, but through mutual friends etc. I would occasionally hear bits and pieces. She just sort of became a layabout. Last I heard she ended up in some sort of communal living situation with a couple families who shared a big dilapidated house, and it's like a hoarder's nightmare from the pics I've seen. It's really sad, I kind of think it's some kind of crippling depression that she never bothered to seek treatment for.
Sometimes people find it difficult to move on to a new life for whatever reason. There are plenty of things one can do to improve job prospects college is just one of them. Sounds like she was more comfortable struggling in life than adapting to new situations.
I think you could be right
5:00 it's also apparent when he says the son "tells on him to his wife" that OP is also trying to manipulate and punish this kid without his wife's knowledge or involvement
Fourth story: OP is NTA. They have a right to refuse to take the kids when they're not able to, and this time OP had an exam to study for. OP literally said "no," and their sister dropped them off anyway. These kids aren't OP's responsibility, pure and simple. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, like getting your kids returned to you at a child free wedding.
2nd story: OP also works from home, they didn't say it, but I'm willing to bet half the time that their SIL asked for help it was while OP was working. It wouldn't be the first time someone interrupted another's work because they didn't think working from home was actually work
First story: "My son isn't like meeeee, WAAAAHHHH I will FORCE him to like what I like because I don't respect anything else, including my own promises!"
First story: the OP is suffering from “Im the man” syndrome where he doesn’t care what others think, everyone must think like him.
Just like the nephew story from a few episodes ago..
Sounds like my dad in a nutshell and I hate it and I resent him for that.
the moment OP said that Dylan didn't like sports and was quiet and different from him and his other sons, i knew OP was an asshole. like why is that important to the fact that Dylan didn't want a dog? it wasn't, but it sure is important that OP tells everyone how weird it is that one of his kids isn't a clone of him.
First story: That poor child will never go to his dad for anything after he completely ignored him and how he feels about that dog. That's how you create a cliff between yourself and your own child, by thinking they are a mini version of yourself and therefore they need to have the same interests as you. Those are the type of parents who don't understand why their child won't have anything to do with them once they're old enough to finally move out.
Jill needs to pasionatelly hug herself.
That whole family sans OP can passionately hug themselves.
With a cactus.
Or cacti if she’s feeling super kinky.
@@matthewturcotte5079 double penetration with cacti ouch 😢 😳 😬 😫
Story 3: Everything he agreed with was his idea, she came up with everything you even tried to be more sensible but he said no. You're completely right you do not want to be with someone that flip-flops like that, because it's not just rain who knows what else he going to randomly change about himself.
Last story: When the husband calls OP and starts whining, OP should've replied "Either I returned the kids to you or the cops would have. Who do you want to let your family and friends know that you suck as parents more?"
For the wedding one. Should have yelled "Don't abandon your children with me again, I'm not a fire station!" to worsen the embarrassment for the sister.
Story 3, wow you notice an increase of "friends " put odd ideas in a person's head, and they end up single. I wonder if these dudes are also single.
In story 1 the dad saying his kid is reclusive tells me that the dad hasn't even tried to connect with his kid based on the kids interests, which is only expanded on by the whole issue of him "convincing" his kid to accept getting a dog
My cousin once left her kids on my doorstep because she needed a babysitter and I'd told her no. I brought them inside, gave them lunch, and then posted some pictures from a vacation I'd taken weeks ago with "it's nice to be out of the city for a while. If anyone needs me I'll be back in town on Tuesday" and waited for her to come back in a panic
On the last story, sister should be glad op only dropped them off instead of calling the cops for child abandonment and getting the parents arrested.
That first story beyond pissed me off. Some people are just not dog people, and you can't force them to be.
15 years ago, I wasn't a dog person at all.
Story 1: man. Even as someone who personally thinks that people who don’t like dogs are weird, OP’s an ass for ignoring his child’s boundaries
The last story: OPs sister and husband are definitely AHs. I would give them a solid 3 (3.5) out of 5 AHs because of the very reasons you listed. People kill me with the whole "you're selfish" thing when they are the ones demanding you do them a favor usually inconvenient for you!
I can't wait for the malicious compliance part of story 2 where OP moves out, and takes his half of the mortgage payment with him.
When you hear the saying, "Many people grow up in body but not in mind," OP from the first story comes to mind.
Story 2: I think this is the perfect place for one of my favorite quotes: Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part
OP in second story should move out with no notice, let the family figure it out the day he walks out the door with his belongings.
Hey there rslash, with the last story.... I was about to express the idea you said about OP's sister. About how much time she had, to either ask OP or pay someone else look after her kids. And it's true that when OP's sister dropped off her kids, that OP could of gone to work some time before the sister had shown up with the kids. So after driving off, the kids could of been sitting/standing there for hours before OP or someone else came across them.
First Story, YTA: OP is forcing all of this on Dylan when he clearly have no interest in the dog. Forcing ur son to interact with the dog because OP like the dog and wanted the dog is not right at all. This is like trying to force someone to eat something they don’t like. OP is a horrible person and a horrible father. Just because OP likes the dogs doesn’t mean everyone else has to feel the same way. No way OP is 42 acting like this
Second Story, NTA: OP needs to move out of this house because this is exhausting. Just because Jill is pregnant doesn’t mean everyone’s life have to stop to accomodate them. Wow, OP pays a lot towards the house and everything and OP has to deal with this?! OP needs to move out, leave them high and dry, and move on. OP isn’t responsible for any of this
Third Story, NTA: OP’s boyfriend promised all of this and said he would pay for all the rent until OP she finishes school; now all of a sudden he switched up?! Wow…OP needs to get rid of this guy. He has the absolute audacity to ask OP to come back after what he pulled?! I wouldn’t be with someone that calls me a gold digger. Good on OP for leaving that scumbag
Fourth Story, NTA: OP’s sister isn’t even asking for OP’s permission to do this, she just drops the kids off with OP. What OP’s sister is doing is NOT asking for a favor. They brought this on themselves for just dropping kids off at OP’s doorstep. They was able to pay for a babysitter
I have a co worker that is 49 and acts like a 12yr old.
Yeah OP is acting like a petulant kid who’s dad got the milk
Story 1 yta why should he have to look after YOUR dog? He was clear he and your wife didn't want a dog.
Yeah, that's so weird. And the dad going back on the ground rules for the dog is very telling. Clearly dad thinks everything is about him.
Story 1: this reminds me to story of a few days ago, where a husband basically adopted a kid without asking her wife. Except that Rslash gave the wife a botthole score instead of the husband, the completely opposite of this.
Second story: OP is NTA. Jack and Jill are the parents here. They should be the ones that are doing the heavy lifting with this child yet they're expecting OP to help. OP did not sign on for this, and he has every right to refuse to take care of a child that isn't his. OP's parents are also AHs here because they are siding with Jack and Jill even demanding that OP step up to help or move out. OP has clarified in an edit that he pays half the household expenses including the mortgage. If I were OP, I'd calmly stand my ground with these parents and say, "if I leave, I'm gone. I will never help you with your living expenses again," and watch how quickly they'll change their tune.
Dude, rSlash's wholesome Papa Wolf mentality coupled with good relationship advice is just a balm for the soul ❤ Lily is one lucky little girl!
You got it right! It’s Papa _Wolf_ , not Papa _Bear_ ! And I agree.
Story 1: YTA. People seem to always be surprised when people follow through with their word and the "magical fairy bonding" never happens. Just like with parents trying to force siblings to be 24/7 besties, trying to force a bond only does more harm than good. Then the parents are totally bewildered when the kids grow up resenting each other and their parents
Speaks that the parent is trying to project themselves onto their kids as a sort of clone of the parent. Parents shouldn't have kids if they are unwilling to raise anything but their dream child because what's worse than raising a 'problem child'? Being that 'problem child' who grows up unloved and neglected because they exist in a way their parent doesn't like
Story 2: NTA. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to trample over others and freely demand whatever they want. And if the parents don't want to be parents, they shouldn't have had kids. Also speaks of parental favoritism where the black sheep's desires are shunted aside and belittled in favor of coddling the golden child... I wonder how far the issue goes since this doesn't seem like a 1st occurance
Even IF OP didn't pay rent and just worked from home while helping out with housework, it's unreasonable to expect him to be the 24/7 impromptu free babysitter whenever others need to run errands. That's the parent's job (parents of the baby). It's unreasonable to expect him to bend over backwards accommodating his sister-in-law's every demand with no regard to his own desires/boundaries
Story 3: NTA. Springing impromptu new rules into relationships is wrong. Also, sounds like boyfriend was testing the waters for what was unacceptable behavior. Sounds more like the boyfriend is a gold-digger squeezing money out of his girlfriend, or h's spineless to his shitty friends
Story 4: NTA. Decency politeness first, you don't drop into someone's house unannounced. Also so they can arrange time instead of squeezing it in between other arrangements or flat or reworking their whole schedule. And if you don't enforce consequences, they'll keep doing the thing. Sister sounds like a combo of an entitledparent and choosingbeggar constantly expecting OP to be the free babysitter
The dad in story 1 reminds me of my biological father. He was neglectful of my health and safety, and pressured me into playing weird games that more than once ended in my injury. He treated me like a plaything, an excuse to do childish things as an adult, and became upset and manipulative if I said no. I refused contact when I was in 5th grade and I haven’t seen him since.
OP3: No. He wanted you to move in, you're not willing to pay rent, so you moved out. Sounds like he's trying to control you. Glad yiu dumped him.
Story 1: Seriously...why is this so important to the dad...if he doesn't like dogs, he doesn't like dogs. Also...if he destroys stuff, that's a MAJOR trigger for me so yeah...I get not wanting that dog in his room.
Story1: OP is hereby found guilty of bad parenting of the first degree and the sentence is confiscation of the dog and three weeks in jail *strikes gavel *
Happy day off to the people who have it
Been of school for 6 months due to a late placement so this is technically a day of, thanks!
You too!
Heck yeah, best part of every morning is when rSlash uploads. Happy Friday everyone!
Happy Friday dude!
That first story pissed me off. My dad & mom did the same thing to me a dozen times. I still have boundary issues.
1st story, the bit that really stuck out for me was when there was agreement to get the dog, op says "that's enough for now" he planned to go ahead the way he did from the start. His threat was not caused by frustration. This was the next logical point to escalate his plan to force his kid to like their dog, that he was clear he didn't want
Story 2: I agree with RSlash that OP buried the lede. That edit COMPLETELY changed my opinion. You were already paying 50% of expenses when both your mom and dad work??? Go ahead and leave and see how they like paying for everything with a couple of useless leeches in the house
Story 1: It's also unfair for the dog too, OP says he follows Dylan and is excited to see him while Dylan doesn't want to interact with the dog. The dog most likely won't be able to understand why Dylan is ignoring him and I feel bad for the dog too.
Last story: imagine she wasn’t home and the sister set her kids on the doorstep and left. 💀 yikes
Story 4: NTA; I don't know if OP has made her boundaries clear, but I doubt she hasn't. As well, the sister shows OP nothing but disrespect constantly, and then gets pissed when OP pushes back against that.
Final story: You f*ck around and found out, sister. Definitely NTA.
OP from the first story reminds me too much of my dad… my dad literally threatened to leave our family if my mom didn’t relent to letting him have a dog.
Happy Veterans Day for those of you celebrating!
*First OP:* In this story, OP
*1* Wore down his wife and son to get a dog.
*2* Lied to his son about not having to internet with the dog just to get him to agree.
*3* Threatened to take away his trips to the comic book store if he didn’t walk the dog _that he didn’t want._
It’s also telling how OP said he had a hard time relating to the middle son because he’s different from his brothers. OP is TA times 10.
Only 3/5 Buttholes? Nah, dude deserves the full 5/5. 4/5 at least.
*Second OP:* OP’s family trampled over OP’s boundaries countless times. Maybe OP _should_ move out of the house and let Jack & Jill (lol at the names) be OP’s parents’ problem. OP is NTA.
*Third OP:* I’ve never been in a relationship, but I imagine that OP’s boyfriend changing his mind about OP paying half the rent would be a red flag. Am I wrong. OP is NTA. I’m glad she broke up with her boyfriend.
*Fourth OP:* Why couldn’t OP’s sister hire a babysitter? Oh, wait; babysitters cost money. OP is NTA. OP’s sister should be grateful OP didn’t call the cops on her and her husband for child abandonment. What’s worse: OP showing up to the wedding to drop off the kids, or the cops showing up to the wedding to arrest OP’s sister and BIL?
Grammar police here; in point 2 you wrote "internet" instead of "interact" (presumably) /lh /nm
@@ilvosio Fixed. Thanks for pointing it out! Damn autocorrect!
the last story, i thought op was ta because usually having a kid at a child free wedding is an asshole move but honestly, it sounded like his sister abandoned her kids so op could be a cheap ass babysitter.
Story 4: OP needs to threaten the sister with the cops/CPS if the children are EVER dropped off at OP's house without 48 hours prior confirmation
Dude is beefing with his 11 yr old son over his dog
I wish I was more like Dylan (1st Op's son) and straight up say "No" to my dad's face after receiving an ultimatum
So, we finally found out what happend when Jack and Jill went up the hill..
(I'm so sorry, my brain is firing on all cylinders today.. but come on I couldn't let that joke slide.)
Story 1: duuuude I'm so on the kid's side, my family got a dog without ever consulting me, I never wanted one and made it clear that I wasn't a fan of the idea afterwards. After a few years of having the dog, guess who was mostly responsible for taking him out etc? Me. I drew a firm line later on when I was the last of mom's kids still living with her, that I would NOT be taking anymore responsibility for him since he was never my dog. In the end I managed to get out of the primary care, only taking him out and feeding him when mom was away for several days. Don't get me wrong, I liked the dog, he was cute and cuddly and a very happy boy, but I'm decidedly not a dog person, and after being forced to have a dog and take care of one when nobody else would, I am even less of a one. I barely have enough patience for a cat, that's mostly self reliant, let alone a dog that needs so much active attention. At least my cat doesn't need to go outside every few hours every day.
always a good day when rslash posts
so everyday is a good day?
FR
3rd
First story: Dylan is weird, because he doesn't wanted a dog? What's the father thinking!? He is not weird, he just doesn't want a dog or any pet at all. And right at the start, he compared him to his other son's, because he doesn't like the same things which they like. Where's the problem? He is an individual with his own preferences!
And then, he tried to force the dog on Dylan, which only will lead to him more not liking the dog!
My partners mother never could live without pets. Dogs, cats etc and she never consulted her sons if she wanted pets too. Well, my brother in law just went with it, but my partner didn't like it and thus, never warmed up to the pets, but still was forced to interact with them (food, litter box, walking etc). To this day, he talks about how much he hated it and that he never liked the pets and he doesn't want pets anymore.
Story 1: Y'know, as a five year old, OP is probably too young to be raising an 11 year old
"It would have hurt to watch them for a few hours" that isn't to you BIL to decide. They don't get to tell you how to run your life and just expect you to bend to their will. Even if you were doing nothing, the fact that they didn't ask and dumped the kids is reason enough to do what OP did in that last story.
I love dogs, but even I know not everyone loves dogs. Respect that. Yo even if he was a free loader, he's not freeloading from his siblings. It is 100% not reasonable to expect someone else to take care of your kid.
Why stay with boyfriend? Leave him, and keep your own place. He can stick it!
2nd story. Jack and Jill sound MEGA entitled and his parents enable their behavior. They choose to get pregnant, they can deal w a small guest bedroom and foods op made. Poor guy, hope he moves out bc fuck jack and Jill's do nothing selves
*Says no to wanting a dog and wouldn’t interact with it* “WHY ARENT YOU INTERACTING WITY THE DOG IM GONNA TAKE AWAY THINGS YOU LOVE”
First story is even darker than you think. As a possibility for reason he may not like it; Dylan is on the spectrum/neurodivergent the dog interrupts with any pattern Dylan may have used as a coping mechanism. So, yeah, not for sure on it. But yeah, it's how I was with the family dog.
1st story,,,,, “ he freaked out & told his mother “
So the father was going to punish the kid & keep it from the mother .
That man’s a control freak
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. Silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son. Jack goes to work and his wife is a dork. I can't figure out how to end this rhyme so I'm just going to stop wasting my time.
8:39 “Cant believe they raised such a selfish human being.” Who’s the one that DEMANDED to take over their inlaws room because she’s pregnant? Who’s the one who forced their inlaw to stop cooking food they like because “she can’t stand the smell.” WHOS the one who expects their in-law to be a maid for her? I get being pregnant is tough, but there was a guest room available, if you don’t like the smell of food being cooked, that’s a you problem, if anyone is selfish in that story it’s the couple and the parents because they are allowing the couple to do whatever they want because “Being pregnant/being a mother is hard.” NTA.