This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my TH-cam channel 11 months ago about self development. Now I have 2,132 subs and > 2k hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.
@@theworldispeace Whoever you are, I don't know you personally but I can say that you're one of the non-judgmental and open-minded people who is not fixated on tangible or external factors in order to learn from someone like me. Just because someone doesn't have a piece of paper as a credential, doesn't mean that person is not entitled to share personal experiences with the hope & intention to inspire others. Keep up with whatever it is that you're doing to improve mankind or improving your life even to a slight degree each day. This is just one part of a bigger puzzle for creating my TH-cam channel about holistic health. I literally could have died back when I was 14 years old due to major depression but here I am right now replying to you, a TH-camr, who's full of fulfillment and dedication to help others to be a better version of themselves. I ain't better than anyone else but my old self. That's all that really makes this TH-cam thing more meaningful and enjoyable. Thanks so much for your support! I am hoping that you can join me with this endless personal development journey! :)
I love this! Thank you for sharing. It means a lot to me. And it looks like you've grown even more since you posted this comment. You should ABSOLUTELY be proud of starting!
@@theacttherapist Thank you! What I really focus on is the value of the content and what I’m truly passionate about while helping others! I'm glad that I'm foolish enough to believe that I can actually start making money through my passions. I've never thought that I'd be able to gain more than 2k subs faster. I can't imagine how many opportunities could have been wasted if I didn't have courage to go after them. That includes having this channel, being in a management role, having the people who actually care about me for who I am, freelance gigs, being an ambassador in a creative community and now I'm also planning on honing my public speaking skills through joining a toastmaster club and these all happened in 2023. It started with writing them all down on a piece of paper. A paper that serves as a reminder for me to go after what I want even through hard times. I'm not bragging about my accomplishments but simply hoping that this message can also inspire others to believe in themselves.
One last thing, accepting Trauma, I mean, consistant TRAUMA, is thee most difficult thing to attain. You know what? It's a Challenge, that's all. My own mind holds me back and I couldn't see it till now. I'm 63. Thank you to EVERYONE who makes these videos possible. I'm very grateful..
Thank you for sharing. I think one of the challenging things is separating out our responses to trauma and the trauma (behavior of abuse or horrifying experience) itself. The actual behavior does not need to be accepted nor should it be. Trauma or abuse is not okay. If someone is hurting you, that is on that person and they are at fault.
My new goal is to watch this video daily. To remind myself of the journey instead of focusing on the destination. This video is exactly what I needed to hear today.
This is an amazing video! I really appreciate your perspective that you shared; I was laid off from my first full time job yesterday and I think that this was really eye opening for me. I think, especially being fresh out of college, its really easy for me to lose track of my values or deprioritize my sense of self - this was very grounding.
The actionable small steps advice is great! I've been watching a ton of videos on discovering core values for personal life and business and yours gave me more clarity in terms of acting on it. Thanks!
Realizing my childhood of abuse and neglect only left room for me to value safety and food lmao. When even those are temporary privileges or "rewards," nothing else can be any kind of priority. Now I'm old and still living for just that and can't imagine a life based on anything higher. Which is a barrier to therapy lmao...
I had no goals, my partner wanted me to find some. I found a goal I really wanted, my controlling partner discouraged me from reaching it. Long story short, I'm now divorcing my partner. I have goals and values now. 😎
Thank you so much for this video! Your explanations are so approachable. Usually when I try to reflect on what my values are or what I want them to be, it’s from a place of criticism which produces guilt and not changed behavior. I end up stuck.
Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment! I'm so glad to hear the video was helpful. And you are definitely not alone. We get so much messaging around what we "should" value that it ends up becoming a source or shame, guilt, or inadequacy. I'm glad to hear the video helped you focus on what truly matters to you.
Thank you for sharing this video, finally someone explained really well how to identify your core values - this was very helpful to me, with your help I was finally able to name values in my current life without any doubt :)
I'm SO HAPPY right now. I'm so glad that I didn't scroll by this SUPER IMPORTANT VIDEO. I now BIEVE I'm on the right track. One thing, though..I am an addict for the rest of my life. In accepting that fact, I know NOW what to focus on. I've had years and years of poor therapy..I was pretty much looking forward to NOTHING. I am also listening to Victor Frankl's famous 5 part book. I'm up to part 3 right now!
To define yourself as an addict for the rest of your life is very dangerous and inaccurate. You are not broken, you are exactly where you should be. Reframe your struggles to find what you have learned along your life's path....run with these valuable gifts you have been taught as strengths...define yourself by them instead.
I'm so glad you found my video! Was it able to help you clarify your values? Any questions it didn't answer that I could help with? Thanks for commenting :)
@@Fiox789 remember there aren’t great values or realistic values. Values just are. We’re constantly taking steps towards them but they aren’t like goals where they’re meant to be achieved or checked out. Take some time to think through who and what truly matters to you and then you can set some realistic first steps towards them!
@@theacttherapist maybe that's where I'm confused I don't value anything. Everything is temporary. if these things aren't concrete then it can change and you find out that you don't really value that thing or quality. I valued having a loving relationship but I've been single my entire adult life. I've set steps for that thing but those steps haven't gotten me any close. since it's been elusive I'm thinking I guess I don't value that since I haven't been able to achieve that type of thing. I think I'm missing some information or I take these things too seriously but then what's the point if I don't take them seriously?
Hi, thanks for the video, it's helped me build on what I'm learning from Steven Hayes. "I don't wanna be that, I wanna be this" - could that be construed as avoidant behaviour?
Do you arrange your values into a heirachy in ACT? I’ve done values elicitation using NLP and they recommend uncovering towards and away values, and then to arrange them into a order of importance. Does this process align with ACT? Cheers
Great question! I'll try to answer as much as I can here. Essentially the idea in ACT is to identify the top or core values (generally try to stick to 3-5 with clients) that they want to be moving towards for the next little while. And then in each moment they would pause and ask themselves what is important to them in this moment and identify which value(s) are guiding them. So it's not really a hierarchy because it's not like one value always supersedes others, but rather it's being sensitive to the context -- in other words noticing what is happening in this specific moment and identifying what is important right now and using that as a guide but knowing that answer may change. Hope this helps make the distinction for you. Please let me know if I can clarify further.
No idea why you haven't got more subscribers - just started watching your videos and they're really helpful. Short but bursting with information and things to reflect on.
Thank you for the kind comments! I haven’t posted a video in a while as other life things have taken priority. I think posting more regularly would help me get out there to more folks. Appreciate you taking the time to comment!
i have no faith or culture, i'm a melting pot American... I live alone with no family so there isn't really a 'who' and 'what' well nothing really matters that much to be a 'value' I've tried doing this for so long, but I just don't get it. I love to be kind and loving and caring and listening but I have no friends or community despite the effort.. living rural makes that difficult and I find 'online' communities lacking sorely in connection. I hope this video serves young people watching, but for this old bird in her fifties, well, I'm pondering if 'values' is some kind of misnomer or maybe it's just me, thinking it means more than what it means. It just means what is important to you? But somehow the word 'value' bring with it, for me, ethics and morality.. I'm sure it's just me.. I'm a bit of an over thinking confused sort.
I think that your values doesn't have to involve the outside world. like valuing presence, valuing self love and self care, optimism, having a clean space or clear mind. All can be values of who you want to be in life and you've probably been living based on your values not even knowing it. I watched a video on helping identifying values and the guy said what ever you surround your space with, what ever you think about the most and spend your money on the most helps identify your values. I hoped that helped BUT i dont know much im just someone trying to understand this life stuff as a 21 year old.
Yes, good. But defining values we never live up to, or moving towards something in the future we don't have now is to define yourself as not good enough now and not where you ought to be. To be happy is to be satisfied with what it is that is going on now. If you're not satisfied now it is probably because you are trying to get somewhere else or feel you are not good enough, or what is around you is not good enough. This is an acceptance issue, or a self definition issue... or an issue of your values being too narrowly defined.
I view values as a process not an outcome. So I don't see it as something we never live up to or something future focused and by comparison we are not good enough now. I think of it as the process of continually turning towards the type of person you want to be. There is nothing wrong with saying that you want to make improvements in your life. It doesn't me you hate yourself now or aren't good enough. Simply that you want to make a change or grow.
@@theacttherapist Oh boy, you are in it deep. Love to you. Continue on my fellow devine being of light... continue on turning into what you want to be. Eventually you will find two things: one, you don't know what you REALLY want and, two, you are it already.
Profound paradox of Now and Not Yet/Not Ever! Many Christians struggle with this. “If God accepts and loves me unconditionally yet wants me also to grow up !” it is a divine paradox. Each believer must find a working solution to this ambivalent faith belief…. otherwise we wont be true believers in “God’s Goodness.” Sorry for the heavy faith stuff.
That can feel really hard sometimes. Hopefully the video gave you a good starting point. I'm going to make more step by step videos on identifying your values soon.
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my TH-cam channel 11 months ago about self development. Now I have 2,132 subs and > 2k hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.
so cool i am proud of you!
@@theworldispeace Whoever you are, I don't know you personally but I can say that you're one of the non-judgmental and open-minded people who is not fixated on tangible or external factors in order to learn from someone like me. Just because someone doesn't have a piece of paper as a credential, doesn't mean that person is not entitled to share personal experiences with the hope & intention to inspire others. Keep up with whatever it is that you're doing to improve mankind or improving your life even to a slight degree each day. This is just one part of a bigger puzzle for creating my TH-cam channel about holistic health. I literally could have died back when I was 14 years old due to major depression but here I am right now replying to you, a TH-camr, who's full of fulfillment and dedication to help others to be a better version of themselves. I ain't better than anyone else but my old self. That's all that really makes this TH-cam thing more meaningful and enjoyable. Thanks so much for your support! I am hoping that you can join me with this endless personal development journey! :)
I love this! Thank you for sharing. It means a lot to me. And it looks like you've grown even more since you posted this comment. You should ABSOLUTELY be proud of starting!
@@theacttherapist Thank you!
What I really focus on is the value of the content and what I’m truly passionate about while helping others! I'm glad that I'm foolish enough to believe that I can actually start making money through my passions. I've never thought that I'd be able to gain more than 2k subs faster. I can't imagine how many opportunities could have been wasted if I didn't have courage to go after them. That includes having this channel, being in a management role, having the people who actually care about me for who I am, freelance gigs, being an ambassador in a creative community and now I'm also planning on honing my public speaking skills through joining a toastmaster club and these all happened in 2023. It started with writing them all down on a piece of paper. A paper that serves as a reminder for me to go after what I want even through hard times. I'm not bragging about my accomplishments but simply hoping that this message can also inspire others to believe in themselves.
One last thing, accepting Trauma, I mean, consistant TRAUMA, is thee most difficult thing to attain. You know what? It's a Challenge, that's all. My own mind holds me back and I couldn't see it till now. I'm 63. Thank you to EVERYONE who makes these videos possible. I'm very grateful..
Thank you for sharing. I think one of the challenging things is separating out our responses to trauma and the trauma (behavior of abuse or horrifying experience) itself. The actual behavior does not need to be accepted nor should it be. Trauma or abuse is not okay. If someone is hurting you, that is on that person and they are at fault.
My new goal is to watch this video daily. To remind myself of the journey instead of focusing on the destination. This video is exactly what I needed to hear today.
This is an amazing video! I really appreciate your perspective that you shared; I was laid off from my first full time job yesterday and I think that this was really eye opening for me. I think, especially being fresh out of college, its really easy for me to lose track of my values or deprioritize my sense of self - this was very grounding.
I'm so happy to hear this video was helpful to you during a stressful period in life. Thanks for commenting and wishing you all the best!
The actionable small steps advice is great! I've been watching a ton of videos on discovering core values for personal life and business and yours gave me more clarity in terms of acting on it. Thanks!
This is so great to hear! Thanks for commenting. Please let me know if there are other similar videos that could be of help!
Realizing my childhood of abuse and neglect only left room for me to value safety and food lmao. When even those are temporary privileges or "rewards," nothing else can be any kind of priority. Now I'm old and still living for just that and can't imagine a life based on anything higher. Which is a barrier to therapy lmao...
You’re here for a reason.
You can start and always stop, you decide.
I had no goals, my partner wanted me to find some. I found a goal I really wanted, my controlling partner discouraged me from reaching it. Long story short, I'm now divorcing my partner. I have goals and values now. 😎
Love that for you! Sorry you had to go through that journey but great to hear you are getting to live your values now.
Thank you so much for this video! Your explanations are so approachable. Usually when I try to reflect on what my values are or what I want them to be, it’s from a place of criticism which produces guilt and not changed behavior. I end up stuck.
Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment! I'm so glad to hear the video was helpful. And you are definitely not alone. We get so much messaging around what we "should" value that it ends up becoming a source or shame, guilt, or inadequacy. I'm glad to hear the video helped you focus on what truly matters to you.
Thank you for sharing this video, finally someone explained really well how to identify your core values - this was very helpful to me, with your help I was finally able to name values in my current life without any doubt :)
Very well explained!
Just found your channel. These videos are amazing! Thank you!
Thank you so much! Glad you like them!
I'm SO HAPPY right now. I'm so glad that I didn't scroll by this SUPER IMPORTANT VIDEO. I now BIEVE I'm on the right track. One thing, though..I am an addict for the rest of my life. In accepting that fact, I know NOW what to focus on. I've had years and years of poor therapy..I was pretty much looking forward to NOTHING. I am also listening to Victor Frankl's famous 5 part book. I'm up to part 3 right now!
So happy this resonated with you! Love Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning book.
To define yourself as an addict for the rest of your life is very dangerous and inaccurate. You are not broken, you are exactly where you should be. Reframe your struggles to find what you have learned along your life's path....run with these valuable gifts you have been taught as strengths...define yourself by them instead.
Thank u so much
Thank you so much for sharing.
You're very welcome! I'm glad it was helpful!!
I've been trying to figure out this exact thing.
I'm so glad you found my video! Was it able to help you clarify your values? Any questions it didn't answer that I could help with? Thanks for commenting :)
@@theacttherapist It's definitely put me on the path to figuring it out. I'm trying to have realistic values
@@Fiox789 remember there aren’t great values or realistic values. Values just are. We’re constantly taking steps towards them but they aren’t like goals where they’re meant to be achieved or checked out. Take some time to think through who and what truly matters to you and then you can set some realistic first steps towards them!
@@theacttherapist maybe that's where I'm confused I don't value anything. Everything is temporary. if these things aren't concrete then it can change and you find out that you don't really value that thing or quality. I valued having a loving relationship but I've been single my entire adult life. I've set steps for that thing but those steps haven't gotten me any close. since it's been elusive I'm thinking I guess I don't value that since I haven't been able to achieve that type of thing. I think I'm missing some information or I take these things too seriously but then what's the point if I don't take them seriously?
i needed this today
I’m so happy my video found you at the right time! Glad to hear it helped :) If there’s any other videos you’d like to see please let me know.
Very insightful thank you.
You helped me a lot thank you so much!
Excellent video, deserves returning to, thx!
Many thanks! I enjoyed the speech a lot. By the way, the volume was too low.
Thanks for letting me know! I'm working on increasing the audio for future videos!
Hi, thanks for the video, it's helped me build on what I'm learning from Steven Hayes.
"I don't wanna be that, I wanna be this" - could that be construed as avoidant behaviour?
Great video, I love it
Thank you! I really appreciate you taking the time to post!
Do you arrange your values into a heirachy in ACT? I’ve done values elicitation using NLP and they recommend uncovering towards and away values, and then to arrange them into a order of importance. Does this process align with ACT?
Cheers
What is the NLP resource you are referring to?
Great question! I'll try to answer as much as I can here. Essentially the idea in ACT is to identify the top or core values (generally try to stick to 3-5 with clients) that they want to be moving towards for the next little while. And then in each moment they would pause and ask themselves what is important to them in this moment and identify which value(s) are guiding them. So it's not really a hierarchy because it's not like one value always supersedes others, but rather it's being sensitive to the context -- in other words noticing what is happening in this specific moment and identifying what is important right now and using that as a guide but knowing that answer may change. Hope this helps make the distinction for you. Please let me know if I can clarify further.
No idea why you haven't got more subscribers - just started watching your videos and they're really helpful. Short but bursting with information and things to reflect on.
Thank you for the kind comments! I haven’t posted a video in a while as other life things have taken priority. I think posting more regularly would help me get out there to more folks. Appreciate you taking the time to comment!
@@theacttherapist Do what's best for you, but I appreciate the content you've made. :)
i have no faith or culture, i'm a melting pot American... I live alone with no family so there isn't really a 'who' and 'what' well nothing really matters that much to be a 'value' I've tried doing this for so long, but I just don't get it. I love to be kind and loving and caring and listening but I have no friends or community despite the effort.. living rural makes that difficult and I find 'online' communities lacking sorely in connection. I hope this video serves young people watching, but for this old bird in her fifties, well, I'm pondering if 'values' is some kind of misnomer or maybe it's just me, thinking it means more than what it means. It just means what is important to you? But somehow the word 'value' bring with it, for me, ethics and morality.. I'm sure it's just me.. I'm a bit of an over thinking confused sort.
I think that your values doesn't have to involve the outside world. like valuing presence, valuing self love and self care, optimism, having a clean space or clear mind. All can be values of who you want to be in life and you've probably been living based on your values not even knowing it. I watched a video on helping identifying values and the guy said what ever you surround your space with, what ever you think about the most and spend your money on the most helps identify your values. I hoped that helped BUT i dont know much im just someone trying to understand this life stuff as a 21 year old.
You are very insightful. I appreciate your thoughts.@@Harmonyyhill
Know that your kindness and loving, listening nature matters.. that your contribution to the world matters ❤
I hate when there’s a bunch of bears on the highway
All things seem equally important/unimportant.
Yes, good. But defining values we never live up to, or moving towards something in the future we don't have now is to define yourself as not good enough now and not where you ought to be. To be happy is to be satisfied with what it is that is going on now. If you're not satisfied now it is probably because you are trying to get somewhere else or feel you are not good enough, or what is around you is not good enough. This is an acceptance issue, or a self definition issue... or an issue of your values being too narrowly defined.
I view values as a process not an outcome. So I don't see it as something we never live up to or something future focused and by comparison we are not good enough now. I think of it as the process of continually turning towards the type of person you want to be. There is nothing wrong with saying that you want to make improvements in your life. It doesn't me you hate yourself now or aren't good enough. Simply that you want to make a change or grow.
@@theacttherapist Oh boy, you are in it deep. Love to you. Continue on my fellow devine being of light... continue on turning into what you want to be. Eventually you will find two things: one, you don't know what you REALLY want and, two, you are it already.
Profound paradox of Now and Not Yet/Not Ever! Many Christians struggle with this. “If God accepts and loves me unconditionally yet wants me also to grow up !” it is a divine paradox. Each believer must find a working solution to this ambivalent faith belief…. otherwise we wont be true believers in “God’s Goodness.” Sorry for the heavy faith stuff.
90% COMMON SENSE..... 10% WHAT TO DO
Thanks for the feedback! If there are any other videos you'd love to see (maybe more actionable, step by step ones) please let me know
volume too low didnt watch the video
Thanks for letting me know. I've gotten this feedback from others. Working to increase my audio on future videos!
Gobbledegook
The information discussed in this video is presented in a really end user friendly and makes me want to take the advice on - thank you.
I have watched your videos before. I really like them usually. I hope it's OK with you, that I watch them.
I have no goals.
That can feel really hard sometimes. Hopefully the video gave you a good starting point. I'm going to make more step by step videos on identifying your values soon.
I can’t deal with the vocal fry stop
@@mrjryan72I hate vocal fry too, but this isn't vocal fry by any means. Chill out
@@mrjryan72people don’t do it on purpose bro😊