@@Deadass271 You would be surprised the gauntlet you where while handling raptors is just for their comfort at any point you could have a talon come through your forearm or hand.
@@cu_t actually no, you would try to get it off first, not punch it. That is what many people do when they are attacked, try to get it off then attack it
I was in check out i messed up on my card info because i’m dyslexic i retype it and by the time i click check out they said I couldn’t they’re sold out.
Jschlatt at 0:47: “I like birds!” *Flashback to the Lunchclub podcast when Jschlatt choose to be bitten my thousands of snakes rather than being a bird*
He has a podcast with apandah and a couple of other people, I think it's called the sleep-deprived podcast or something, not hundred percent sure on the name
Seems like Jschslatt is being Jschlatt,but more Jsccslatt than normal Jschhslat,it's impressive how he can get even more Jshclatt,but in the end he's Jschlatt
My grandpa and i do falconry, which is where you hunt with falcons, and it's honestly really fun and all of my birds have been such sweethearts. This video gives me mass amounts of Seretonin and nostalgia for all of the times i've had falcons.
If anyone is wondering, I'm pretty sure that the falcon is a gyrfalcon. Also, the thing that the threw around is called a lure. It's essentially leather that it's made to look like a small bird of prey. The falconer then straps meat to the lure and thats supposed to help train the bird. The nylon rope is also there to prevent them from running away in early stages of training. Once falcons are trained, people take them hunting and don't have to use the nylon. My dad's a falconer so I might know a thing or two.
' A PREHISTORIC KILLER CAN SQUEEZE WITH 400 PSI AND SHE'S LIKE 'Yeah Yeah, This will crush every bone in your body the glove doesn't even do anything. ' WHAT THE FUCK, THE ONLY THING FALCONS HAD WAS THEIR EYESIGHT WHY DO THEY LET YOU PUT THE HAT ON THEM? FUCKING DINOSAURS WHY DO(N'T) THEY HAVE A LITTLE SWITCH WHERE YOU JUST ' 3:41 This killed me
My Grandad used to shake a lot in his finale days and one time he got really stressed out so he used a shotgun to calm himself down. Never been stressed since. highly recommend it to anyone who is stressed in 2020
I MADE THIS VIDEO JUST TO SELL PLUSHIES GOGOGOGO youtooz.com/collections/jschlatt
Lord schlatt i did everything you asked for ayyyy
hi schlagg
GOES
A
What a marketing genius
“animal that won’t crush your entire skeletal system”: pulls out a ram
first reply on popular comment
@@chickenbokernot2598 congrats!
@@chickenbokernot2598 woo congratulations sure
@@chickenbokernot2598 congrats!
@@chickenbokernot2598 well done, cared
Jschlatt in a couple of days: “thinking about hats.”
i appreciate ur profile picture so damn much
hoods*
Richtofen
I hope he's thinking about me.
can’t wait until he gets bored of hats and starts selling flamethrowers
Humans have this thing that when you just crack their neck they won't be able to move anymore, works everytime
hm i’ll make sure to give that a try! thanks for the input!!🙏🙏✝️
I don't believe you
Gonna have to test that brb
You're right! My sister stopped moving, thanks for the cool trick.
It works
“Birds have the hat and humans have the *cocks gun* glock 17” that is going to be my favorite quote from anyone
Why
Do
We
Have
To
Know
?
@@theonewhooofedyou6320 IDK
Why
Do
We
Have
To
Know
Time
You don’t have to know you just decided to read this comment
... so he has a gun-
Schlatt: "You know me"
Falcon: "I don't know you"
Schlatt: " _You know me_ "
Falcon: "Ok lol"
Is that rock lees head with giornos body?
th-cam.com/video/7CSvRJh5iv0/w-d-xo.html
Lil' hat on lil' dino, we're safe boys
Watch this comment get thousands of likes because your verified.
Ayo wtf how you here bro bruh leave me alone dawg
ok mr verified
Lil’ hat on lil’ dino on lil’ leaves, we’re safe boys
yes
Shlatt: *laughing at big falcon wearing hat*
Falcon: *laughing at big human wearing hat*
Shlatt: **has prehistoric killer bird on his arm that’s able to break human bones with ease**
Shlatt: funni hat
“Break human bones with ease”
Let’s see that thing break my bones when it’s the size of my forearm and the weight of a plush.
@@Deadass271 You would be surprised the gauntlet you where while handling raptors is just for their comfort at any point you could have a talon come through your forearm or hand.
@@cu_t actually no, you would try to get it off first, not punch it. That is what many people do when they are attacked, try to get it off then attack it
@@bobnotbob6668 The gauntlet also helps the bird's talons not scratch you. Scratch not stab, but a falcon of that size wouldn't hurt you that easily.
@@yungjit5549 turn that falcon to the size of a huskey and you're fucked
Jshclatt when there’s a falcon: I sleep
Jshclatt when the falcon has a hat: REAL SHI-
Bird with the hat on him
?
*schleep
schitt*
Yea
This seems like a reasonable Jschlatt thing to do...
Dude, I have wanted a falcon for ages
@SHOOTER GAMER no
@SHOOTER GAMER my mom said that you should shut
@SHOOTER GAMER how did you get a mom
@@Dovleyartist agreed
Falcons: *specially evolved to be top tier predators*
Humans: h a t
no comments? let’s change that :>
Haha funny bar go brrr
“Cats have that thing on their neck”
“Falcons have the hat”
“And humans have the Glock-17, it’s easy!”
4:06
Lol I can’t believe I just watched a five- minute video of jaschlatt talking about a hat on a bird
i can
Honestly, he can watch paint dry and still make it entertaining so I'm not surprised at all.
Why else would you watch his videos
Bird with the hat on him
Check the discription of the video
“The falcon is wearing a hat” never thought I would hear that ever
I can control the like if I want it 69 or 70
bird with the hat on him
Only on Schlatt’s channel
@Reapen8270 Gaming shhh...its a hat dont talk about it.
This has too few replies for the number of likes.
Once he tames a bald eagle, there's no stopping the American powerhouse
Schlatt 2020
He will train the eagle to dive bomb British people only
@@Alvaro-so9iu hahaha
@@Alvaro-so9iu *British “people”
aren’t they extinct
“Cats have that *thing* on their neck,”
“Falcons have the hat,”
“And humans have the Glock-17, it’s easy.”
- J-Schlatt 2020
Wait until he sees big cats having the same thing, a massive tiger goes to sleep because neck massage. Obviously, it's an evolutionary advantage.
@@hj2479 It can sleep for eternety if you put a liiiiiittle bit more of a force on it's neck. Good luck trying though. . . please don't try it.
@@victorhugohirota5149 🤨
"selling for a very limited time"
YEAH LIKE 3 FUCKING MINUTES
FR THEY SOLD OUT IN LIKE 5 MINUTES
3 minutes? you mean less than 60 seconds my friend.
The 1 ft plush sold out in 5 mins and the 2ft plush sold out in 2 mins idk about the rest but it was all gone within 10 mins
They sold out immediately lol i was there at release time and at 3:01 the ram plushie sold out. Am sad
I was in check out i messed up on my card info because i’m dyslexic i retype it and by the time i click check out they said I couldn’t they’re sold out.
i’ve never seen Schlatt so incredibly passionate about a hat before, let alone a hat on a bird
I don't think he's ever been so passionate about anything
I mean, it’s a _hat_ on a _falcon_
schlatt has the face, voice, name, and personality of a pro baseball player
Also he has a NY Yankees cap
Schlatt: **Sees a bird who has power to gauge out everyones eyes**
Also Schlatt: f u n n i h a t :>
Jschlatt at 0:47: “I like birds!”
*Flashback to the Lunchclub podcast when Jschlatt choose to be bitten my thousands of snakes rather than being a bird*
I desperately need the lunch club podcast back 😂
Samoan Splash!
It was cause he didnt want to be a pidgeon
I would kill for a Jschlatt Podcast. Just him telling stories for hours. He's so entertaining.
Just. Schlatt. Not a stan. I just think he's funny.
The daily slap
He has a podcast with apandah and a couple of other people, I think it's called the sleep-deprived podcast or something, not hundred percent sure on the name
@@toucan9548 weekly?
Sleep Deprived Podcast 💯
honestly SAMEEE!!!! weeklyslap and sleep deprived podcast isnt enough for me lmao
"cats have the neck thing"
"falcons have the hat"
"and humans have the glock 17"
I mean he's not wrong-
I have a bad feeling about why you put that minus sign thing at the end of that sentence
@@jsc1jake512 pfft nah, it's just a symbol to show I'm cutting myself off in a sort of like laughter type way-
@@b0rn_confused841 or getting sho-
The best part is when he says "if you want to give it a shot, give me a ring lol
@@nikstil you rig-
Jschlatt: I love birds!
1 minute later Jschlatt: I don’t give a shit about the bird, I just wanted to know about the hat
random people: “Jschlatt is a very bad person why do people support him?”
also Jschlatt: “ b i r d h a t”
Cause he is funny you fun fart
Dumb fart
@@sunnysunset7377 Are you serious?
@@sunnysunset7377 are you fucking serious?
@@sunnysunset7377 are you fucking goddamn serious?
Those plushies sold out in like 5 minutes. Worst day of my life.
I managed to get one :)
@@oj3899 i managed to get 2 :))
@@youremyclarity I managed to get 0 :D
@@youremyclarity i got the 1ft pillow one
So bull
Jschlatt: disappears for less than a week
Jschlatt coming back: I tamed a falcon.
I think schlatt hates himself for going to his house.
MIZKIF POOPS STANDING UP WHAT THE SHI---
Truly disgusting that some “people” would do this horrible thing.
everyone when they see the title:
“of course he did”
yea he did cheat ye
But of course
My exact thought.
@@catolowhey5964 wdym
I didn’t think too question it
Jschlatt: **gets cancelled on Twitter multiple times**
Also Schlatt: B i r d h a t
😂
If you make twitter mad you're doing something right
@@jaysefgames1155 amen.
Ghlatt
bird with the hat on him
Wilbur: Posts how schlatt is a drunk tyrant
Schlatt: b i r d s .
that's rp my g
Dream smp 3head
Did he really?
“Cats have that thing on their neck”
“Falcons have the hat”
“And humans have the Glock-17
"Jschlatt 2020"
This is one of the most American things i've ever seen, and Schlatt himself is the proof.
And thats supposed to be bad?
@@Artoliann Which part about that sentence mentioned anything about the context being bad?
I’m not sure what your talking about and that makes this so funny
@@isaac2591 I mean to be fair 99% of the time when someone mentions America it’s negative especially on the internet
@@PhoenixAce See, i didn't think of it that way- But i can't say that you're wrong- Nevertheless, the comment definitely wasn't meant to be negative
*jschlatt has a huge ass bird on his arm*
jschlatt: “hat”
bird hat..
Hat bird...
Hat hat...
Bird bird...
We all know Schlatt only made this to promote his plushies.
Edit: FUCK THE SOLD OUT
@SHOOTER GAMER stfu
@SHOOTER GAMER stop 👏 self 👏 promoting 👏
They are all sold out
Yeah too bad he didn't make a Comment saying that this Video was made to Promote Plushies
@SHOOTER GAMER how about 7500 dislikes?
"You know, just pump one or two shots into someone, and all of a sudden, they're not stressed anymore!"
I feel compelled to follow this man
The fact that Jschlatt used the correct terminology in calling a bird a dinosaur and saying “Mesozoic Era” made me incredibly happy
Schlatt: I love birds!
Also Schlatt: I don’t care about the bird. *H A T.*
I Love birds
I Love birds
I Love birds
I Love birds
I like how they're nonchalantly talking about dream cheating while schlatte plays with a kitten
What does that have do with anything?
@@sarck_tick 4:45
bc they planned that
@@sarck_tick it doesnt, but its funny they talked about that while gayschlatt plays with a kitten
@mangusti hopo *gayschlatt
“Cats have that thing on there neck”
“Falcons have the hat”
“And humans have a the glock-17”
Okay but who wouldn’t click on this title lol
Stfu
@SHOOTER GAMER stfu
@SHOOTER GAMER I heard this lie a lot of times
@SHOOTER GAMER you don’t have a mom
@SHOOTER GAMER stfu no one is falling for it
Seems like Jschslatt is being Jschlatt,but more Jsccslatt than normal Jschhslat,it's impressive how he can get even more Jshclatt,but in the end he's Jschlatt
you spelled jschlatt wrong every single time
@@vinnycantee5555 That makes it so much funnier
No they definitely spelled it correctly
true
@@vinnycantee5555 I think the only thing sadder than that is the fact that I read it without realizing it was wrong
"he did, he did cheat in minecraft"
uh oh i hear the stampede of a thousand dream stans
Im glad me and schlatt are on the same page
I’m a fan of dream but I found this hilarious because I like Jschlatt as a content creator and he’s funny
i remember when on stream he denied it...
This dude’s whitelist on the dream smp is a revolving door
@@noonedream9333 lol
"Cats have that thing on their neck, Falcons have the hat, and humans have the Glock 17."
*wise words.*
fun fact: jschlatt doesn't have blood, he just has testosterone
Fun fact*
another fun fact: all of his bodily fluids are just replaced with testosterone. every single fluid. its all testosterone
He also has a Glock 17
@@Ghostel224 my sincerest apologies
@@johnnymitchellcollier there’s no blood or water. it’s just ALL testosterone. every. last. drop.
*Jshlatt has earned the achievement: Best Friends Forever!*
I was getting the parrots and the bats vibe from that but ok
@@idek3989 isnt that the breeding achievement though
Guess what Schlatt, they all sold out in 8 minutes.
Let’s pray that the price gougers are easy on our wallets
So true
Stay maddddd I got 4
i literally wanted one so bad
Nooooo
My grandpa and i do falconry, which is where you hunt with falcons, and it's honestly really fun and all of my birds have been such sweethearts. This video gives me mass amounts of Seretonin and nostalgia for all of the times i've had falcons.
That's awesome! I want to get into it soon because my dad does it too. What birds do you have?
I don't know any actual Americans, so I am just assuming all of them are like Jschlatt.
Facts
I changed it so now it won't make sense to some people
Sadly no... a lot are like him, but actually serious instead of sarcastic
i wish
I know..... 2.... so yes, they’re all 100% like him
*Sees Schlatt not in his basement*
Me: "Something is terribly wrong."
Schlatt has the biggest balls for making fun of a bird of prey
cuz hes not there lol. hes a fuckin lawk
"Cats have a thing around their neck"
"Birds have a hat"
"And humans have a glock 17, its easy!" -Jschlatt, 2021
“Humans have the glock 17 it’s easy”
“Two shots and they’re not stressed anymore”
I did the that to my badybrother because he crying and he stop crying his ben a sleep for a week now
I died at that lart
@@andresherrera9180 wake him up
@@andresherrera9180 or eat his corpse
@@voltmp4 tasted good
Jschlatt is truly the definition of an American man
Yeah
Yep
"Dream cheated in minecraft" is the new "Jeffrey Epstein did not kill himself" lmao
well their is a 7.5 trillion chance that jeffrey epstein is dream, their for dream is jeffrey epstein
what does this have to do with a bird with a hat on
@@itchypit6413, there's also a 7.5 trillion chance we don't live in a simulation, therefore this is reality :Ddd
I agree with your wise words
@@korrdega 4:45
No, it’s not. It’s the pathetically weak son of “Jeffery Epstein didn’t kill himself”.
3:57 got me wheezing but currently while typing this comment, I have no emotion on my face.
3:57
schlatt had another heart attack guys
This had me cackling
@@corncheezy lol same
Oh my god why did I laugh so hard at that
why is this still getting likes its not even that funny 😭 /j /pos
@@d0nt.w0rry.ab0ut.1t yes it is, now shut up 🔫😩/j
Schlatt is the older brother we all wanted
"I'm on the couch and a bigass falcon walks by"
what
Daily life
She starts stroking the weian
Why did you edit “big ass” to “bigass”
ah yes, a normal occurrence for fellow americans
@@slop4308 you'll never understand such things..
“I don’t know how he functions” HE FUNCTIONS STANDING UP
Jschlatt is slowly becoming more and more powerful.
he's going to start mass producing bird hats
Do you think Schlatt knows he’s a over used tiktok sound by basic white girls talking about one direction-
THE HARRY STYLES EDITS 😭
yep . they’ve taken over and it’s annoying
These people are probably the same people that get offended by his tweets
Huh?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
“Cats have the neck, falcons have the hat, and humans have the glock 17”
Amen
🙏
They're not stressed anymore.
If anyone is wondering, I'm pretty sure that the falcon is a gyrfalcon. Also, the thing that the threw around is called a lure. It's essentially leather that it's made to look like a small bird of prey. The falconer then straps meat to the lure and thats supposed to help train the bird. The nylon rope is also there to prevent them from running away in early stages of training. Once falcons are trained, people take them hunting and don't have to use the nylon. My dad's a falconer so I might know a thing or two.
*”Falcon Hood”* is, unironically, the most badass team name out there.
' A PREHISTORIC KILLER CAN SQUEEZE WITH 400 PSI AND SHE'S LIKE 'Yeah Yeah, This will crush every bone in your body the glove doesn't even do anything. ' WHAT THE FUCK, THE ONLY THING FALCONS HAD WAS THEIR EYESIGHT WHY DO THEY LET YOU PUT THE HAT ON THEM? FUCKING DINOSAURS WHY DO(N'T) THEY HAVE A LITTLE SWITCH WHERE YOU JUST '
3:41
This killed me
i didnt click time stamp but he said it
3:54 FUCKING DINOSAURS
When people think Americans, they think you
And cry baby beta liberals
Wah wah don't like it go away
@@averysmith7004 ?? I wasn’t complaining like I’m here for it, I was literally just stating something....
@@kayleigharnold i think it was a joke
Hey, I'm okay with that.
0:22 "I know streamers tend to be a bit *EHDEHDEHDEHDEH"*
"...weird."
just a bit, ya know just a *tiny* bit
Who else is here upset that the plushies fucking sold out in MINUTES.
I wanted the big chonky boi so bad.
SAAAMMEEE DUDEEE I’M SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTED
I clicked submit as soon as they sold out and didn't get one, I've never been so sad
I SLEPT THRU THE DROP:((
@@ctrlzme.6448 We can mourn together.
Was waiting in line for like two minutes, then boom sold out. Let’s hope that the resellers aren’t to price-harsh.
y'all say that the perfect American Heterosexual Christian male doesn't exist, explain this then.
Facts
*insert gayschlatt meme*
👏
idk if the heterosexual part is that accurate
@@kapteneskil8057 👀🤫
Nobody:
Sokka when he goes to the firenation:
WHY DOES THIS COMMENT HAVE ME DEAD
@@joshc5613 lol
Loooool
Brooo tht was an atla reference i never thought id see under a shlatt video
Ah, i see you are a bender of culture as well
Got so high and literally read the title "I tanned a falcon".
It's still a W
Under-rated comment
“Yeah he cheated in Minecraft”
he did.
i agree
well i like urr nae ;)
@@friggin6914 no
Assuming he is talking about Dream then yes, he did cheat.
"Cats have that thing behind their neck, falcons have the hat, and humans have the glock 17."
Casually takes out a gun
Bird with the hat on him
I can't believe how casual he was
Bro I laughed how casually he got the gun out.
And loads gun as he does
@@Ham-Prince I mean he aint american if he dont got a gun
I love how he kept in the part of him saying that dream cheated in minecraft
Well he's not wrong
Dream can't just do my girl minecraft like that
@@Ashraf7I7 Nah that just ain't right.
LMAOOOOO
he did cheat
i just went through the worst break up ever, your videos help me so much. thank you
Ah, I see.
This is just a way to say “Dream cheated” secretly.
He's playing the long game, still wants that smp clout if he ever gets revived
Smart man tbh
But is he wrong, no
how? i don't get it
@@funi-so8067 4:45
i love how jschlatt is talking about how stupid the hat is as he’s wearing a hat 💀
Bird with the hat on him
He’s so toxic 🤬🤬🤬
@@Kim-mp5wg uhm--
Well the yankees are the best team so its fair
@@grain2247 uhm what fool 🤨
Schlatt saying there's still youtooz plushies
Me: so that was a fucking lie
2:23 "maybe if i walk backwards it will get away from me!"
Alt. Title: Schlatt amazed by a bird hat for 5 minutes
Mizkif: dream cheated in minecraft
schlatt: he did cheat in minecraft
What does that have to do with the video tho--
But he did cheat in Minecraft though
@@ckcw_switch8432 they said it in the video
Nevermind I'm stupid--
@@ckcw_switch8432 he did he cheated in minecraft
My Grandad used to shake a lot in his finale days and one time he got really stressed out so he used a shotgun to calm himself down. Never been stressed since. highly recommend it to anyone who is stressed in 2020
i'm sorry, W H A T
awesome thanks I really needed something to calm myself with godbless
Ayo wtf
ayo 🤨
FFFF WHAT LMAO
This is the same man who made the heart touching "A tribute to minecraft" video.
"Cat's have that thing on their neck, falcons have the hat, and humans have the Glock 17."
-Schlatt 2020
I misread the thumbnail and thought it said: “I *scammed* a Falcon”
Which is something Jschlatt would definitely do
@@whyrubuyingclothesatasoupstore I'm not sure if jschlatt could do it but, I know for a fact that big guy can.
“Cats have that thing on their neck, falcons have the hat, and humans have the glock 17 it’s easy”
That’s going in the quote book
4:48
That aged wonderfully
"Why is he wearing a hat?!" You can wear whatever you like when you can kick anyone's ass.
0:48
Schatt: "I like birds!"
Also Schlatt when he saw a baby Pidgeon: "I gonna kill that fucking thing."
I’m a licensed falconer (in Texas!) and I absolutely love this view of other people freak out about what I do lmao
This is the most American I’ve ever seen him: he has a gun, a falcon, and side burns.
And American flags and Jesus in his heart
The only thing he doesn't have is a mullet 🤣
Plus he’s president
@@crunchy7978 oh god don’t give him the idea
He looks like someone who would tame a falcon.
*"schlalcon"*
I'll get a *bird's eye view* of the way out.
This *ruffled my feathers*
Nice
schlatt is the funniest man i have ever seen. you cant change my mind.
"I'm sitting on the couch right?And then this bigass falcon just walks by..."
-Jschlatt 2020-
I am so ready for this video.
Edit: I was not ready for BDSM bird.
Me to
That’s pretty swag man
So am i
Get the popcorn boys
Mizkif has become Schlatt’s camera man. He can’t escape his legacy. He will only be remembered as a cameraman for bigger streamers OMEGALUL
yo
Yo 🥚
Cx
Cx
Cx
jschlatt has made the advancement "best friends forever"