3 UPDATES: My Dead Brother's Wife Wants to Inherit 75% of Our Dad's Estate Bcuz She Has 2 Sons &..
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- 3 UPDATES: My Dead Brother's Wife Wants to Inherit 75% of Our Dad's Estate Just Bcuz She Has 2 Sons & I Am Childfree...Dad Listened to Her Crap & Then Wrote a Completely Different Will!
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My brother died in a car accident about a year ago and left behind two kids with his wife. Of course the tragedy of his sudden passing was gut wrenching and nothing in this world would be more sad than losing someone permanently knowing that they are not walking the earth and you wouldn't ever get a chance to make up with them or tell them how much you love them. My whole family was deeply affected by my brother's death as he was the most loved member of my family.
#aita #aitareddit #reddit #redditaita #relationships
Yep, if I was the dad, I'd make the will so that the two kids got a fair share, but in a trust that their mother couldn't touch at all.
This.
50% to op
50% to nephews in a trust.
Any estate lawyer should be able to set it up like that.
I thought about that also.
First set up a will that states they have prove their biological dead brothers kids if they ain’t too bad. But if they are they get 50% in a trust so mother can’t have it for her self while OP should get 50%. Simple sometimes cheating happens and it goes unknown now that brother is dead he won’t know but I think it’s fair that. Will goes fair between the kids and OP. The mother acts as if she’s obsessed with wanting the assets of they family. Inheritance goes to family she’s family but not really family let’s be honest when u marry someone ur family to them I mean divorce exists an cheating what happens if she cheated or wanted to divorce brother before he died. Then comes the money she works in tech company n makes a lot money n she emotionally manipulated the father. If I where Op I threaten father if the inheritance doesn’t go fair he disown the father that if he ever has a kids he never tell or allow kids know him
Also should record the conversation OP has with sister in law incase she admits or shows her personality
Guess what she is a gold digger
@@black-wizard-zeref What happens to mom when dad dies? Is she supposed to rely on the son that is getting only 25 percent of the inheritance.
First story. Don't tell her anything. Change the will again and keep SIL in the dark. Then write in a trust that if you die and the kids are still young the money goes into a trust. If they are older they either get trusts or the cash directly. The point is she sees nothing.
Large amounts of loot involved.Telling his DIL about planned will changes could be very hazardous for his and Die Mutter's health.
@@leondillon8723 DIL could also get so angry that she could alienate the kids from the family and then abuse them because they were supposed to be her key to the high life. Now, they are useless.
Glad she recorded her sister in laws true intentions and showed it to her dad like he right is a fool believing her
Z, z,zzzztttz,at and '''.'to x
S1: Show SIL the changed will. She will be happy. Then draft a new will giving 50% to OP and putting 50% in trust to bro''s kids. Everyone except SIL will be happy
Just what I thought. 25% for each kid in dedicated college trusts or cash payout at 28 or something. In any case NOT managed or touchable by their money grubbing mother.
This this this!!!
OP's mother probably won't be happy, either
@@benlutz1974 at the age age of 40 if they got children, at the age of 80 if they don't get children. That will hopefully be after their mother's death.
@@AsusAsus-cp5cd or make the payout UPON the occasion of their mother's death. That'll tell her exactly how everyone feels about her.
Story 1; simple fix, split the estate 50 %/50%. then take the grand sons share and split that in half and to be given to them when they are 30 years of age with the stipulation that Mom doesn't get one red cent.
I would actually create two trusts for each of them out of that overall 50% one smaller and one bigger that they aren't made aware of until after they're around 21 years old. That way their mom doesn't put too many ideas into their head. I've seen too many stories where trust fund kids decide to coast through life until they receive their trusts. At least this way they might have a chance to make something of their lives.
Sister-in-law did not disrespect dad’s intelligence. She had him pegged from the start.
Yes, tis true. Played like a fiddle...
NTA Sister-in-law had no business even asking about her father-in-law about his will.
"My kids deserve a share of the inheritance."
"A share, for sure. Just not the majority."
$80k a month??? That's $960k a year, just short of 1mil. 80k a year is more reasonable unless she's a freaking exec of a fortune 500 company. And 80k a year is a damned good salary, even in high cost of living areas like the San Francisco Bay area.
An exec would get probably be paid more than that. Look at the Chief Legal Officer for twitter. Her salary is $17million last year. SL could easily be a manger or something and not executive level at a tech company.
I thought it was $80k a year.
Dad should make the will in such a way the sil can’t get anything but trust are set up for the children that she can’t touch. Someone else is in charge of the trusts.
What if you have kids later on? It should still be 50/50
Ánd OP is not even 30 yet! People get married and have children way later than that.
Between OP and OP's mother
@@liladance3506 The grands/nibblings should inherit something!
@@deborahpinkey1264 why? They get an inheritance once their parents pass. They are not entitled to anything from their grandparents. If the grandparents want to leave something to them, fine. But the primary inheritors should be the grandparent's own children. 50/50 between 2 siblings would be the fairest. How many ways that is split in the next generation depends entirely on how many children they decide to have. I wouldn't say it's a good reason to have only one child, but if you only have one child they will get everything you have^^ They shouldn't get for more just because they decided to have multiple children.
Exactly how soon is the sister in law expecting the father to pass away? "Give me 75% of your assets in your will! (and kindly make it so that will comes into effect as soon as possible, thanks!)"
You know what I heard in this story? "I don't need any money because I'm well off, but I don't want my greedy sister-in-law to get anything. So I went behind everyone's back and got my dad to change his will to leave it to me instead of his grandsons." It always pisses me off when people think they are entitled to an inheritance from anyone. It's his money and he can choose to leave it to whomever he likes. It would serve them all right if he left everything to charity and daughter & DIL got nothing. It isn't any of OP's business if Dad wants to leave 75% of his $$ to his grandsons.
In my will I am leaving everything to my youngest niece. It may be unfair to the other 11 nieces & nephews and my 5 brothers & sisters but tough
💩. It's my money and I can do with it what I choose. I have nothing against my other nieces/nephews (a couple of which I've never even met) but the youngest is the only one who keeps in touch with me. I haven't heard from any of the others in more than a decade. I don't blame them, they have their own lives and families. I'm not punishing them for not staying in touch, I'm just not rewarding them for it.
She shouldn't be getting anything. If anything the nephews should have a trust instead.
I know. The kids would probably be adults by the time OP's dad passes. If they need his inheritance not to starve by then, SIL isn't raising them right.
1st story. Even if dad wanted to split everything equally among his surviving family… her getting 75% doesn’t add up. All those still alive is 5 ways if you include the SIL.So she and the boys would have at most 60% with 20% each for OP and his Mother. If it was my money I would leave 40% to my spouse if she outlives me because of her age she may only get social security, 30$ % to my remaining child, and 15% each in a trust until age 21. Nothing for the SIL. I would do it that way because 1) 30% is how much the the son who passed over would get. 2) SIL got the life insurance from her husband and I can guarantee she didn’t give one penny to her husbands family,which is how it should be. If my spouse is dead then 50% for child and 25% for each grandchild in trust until age 21.
1st Story. If nothing else, leave the kids money in a trust that mom can't touch.
As to Dad: There's no fool like an old fool.
1) did you record the visit with SIL? Dad would want to hear it. 2) You're not engaged, you only need to show you can pay rent. Too much financial info to him to have say over. He is controlling. RUN. 3) trauma bonds are dangerous. Both need therapy. Abusive, like his parents.
Story One: If "SIL" gets 75% of your Father's estate and you get 25%, how much does your Mother get? IJS!!!
It’s possible that the mother has her own estate.
@@rebeccavaughn8897 I hope you're right. I couldn't get my head around the possibility that the wife would outlive the husband and still be broke. Lol
@@Lewis1o69 Statically mom would survive her husband. So unless she has separate funds of her own how is she supposed to support herself?
Store number 2 it's all about control. He thought moving in with you because he could "help you"pay the rent because she was so bad with money only to find out that you had money and that you work the second job so that you had extra money. This is a very smart thing to do and something he probably never thought about. Do not move in with this man and do not let him move in with you. You don't need him to help you pay the rent and if he can't pay his own rent you sure the hell don't need him. Is this somebody that you want to have a long-term relationship with someone who is questioning you and criticizing you and trying to make you feel inferior because that's exactly what he did telling you you don't need your second job because you did spend the money on yourself and on frivolous things that he doesn't think you need. Who the hell is he to tell you what you need and what you don't need. Unless you want a lifetime of this you need to get rid of him or at least keep him at a distance and let him know he's never going to live with you. Always always keep your finances separate
It sounds like she's been carrying the relationship, financially. They are talking about moving in together, not marrying. So what business is it of his what she does with the money she saves if they split the costs of living together? He sounds way too controlling of her finances. Lord help her if she was to marry him!
You hit the nail on the head. My ex partner was like that. Don't get involved.....definitely don't let him move in......avoid.....avoid....avoid. Ignore this message at your peril.
This happened with me and 2 of my siblings. The sibling that got more than all 3 combined isn’t a bad person. We don’t even care about the monetary amount. Just causes hard feelings about not attempting to be fair. We were less dependent on parents and we have a good relationship with benefited sibling. Just no respect for parents
Story 2, Your boyfriend is showing who he is read the signs and run girl he has major control issues. Move on and find yourself a nice guy that will treat you right without wanting to control you.
If BF thinks you should be saving more of fun money stop spending it on him and see if that changes his tune.
Uh second story it sounds like op is a genius at saving money they save the leftovers of first job and work a 2 job to have fun money
1)If any money is left to the grandsons, it will be best it goes into trust funds that pay out when the boys are around 35 years.
Story1-OP, You DO NOT HAVE A SIL PROBLEM; you have a DAD PROBLEM. It does not matter what kind of 'MANIPULATION' your dad was subjected to. He is silly & vulnerable to your SIL for whatever reason. Apparently, COMMON SENSE IS NOT COMMON.
victim blaming
Common sense is an endangered species.
@@LucaZhang Dad is not a victim, he is a willing co-conspirator.
Luka is very controlling and and a lying manipulator. Both need help. Her psychological, him legal.
2nd Job. NTA OP I hate telling people to cut out of the relationship, but in this case you need to consider it. Your are being incredibly smart in how you manage your finances. I am willing to bet, this has nothing to do with your BF being worried you are over spending, but his jealousy over your ability to spend on things you want, while still being able to use your main income to save. Convincing you to drop your Freelance job, is for no other reason to sooth his insecurity of you having more freedom with you8r spending then him.
Story 2: my only question is what is her freelance job? Because I'm getting the vibe that it is freelance "modelling" work... would also explain why he accepted it when he thought she needed to do it for bills but not if she does it for fun money.
Lol
Most lawyers will advise that it's normal to split an average size estate between children, and then let those children deal with their children (the grandchildren). It's cleaner that way.
It also means a divorcing or divorced non-related spouse can't get their fingers and their lawyers' into the estate process.
When dad dies, its 50/50 for 2 kids. If one of the children dies, his children get 25% of the 59%. If these kids are minors, put the money in a a holding until the children are a majority. The children collect social security from the parent. Go to a lawyer now.
Extra money story, Your boyfriend is controlling but you messed up his plans to control, manipulate and isolate you because you have money to do what you want. Your money allows you to not depend on him.
IF SIL is making around 80K per month, then she's making just short of a MILLION dollars per year. She certainly doesn't need 75% of her father-in-law's estate. Talk about someone being greedy. WOW!!!
Sister in Law; single mother earning over 960 thousand a year. Even after taxes that is a good chunk of change. She needs an advisor to show her how to make the most of what she has. Of course there was also the life insurance....
Why wouldn't 100% of the estate go to his wife??
1. The inheritance should be equal among all the kids, in this case, 50/50, and the grandkids can be in line for 25% each. This woman is super greedy.
Her children should get social security she just money hungry
They will get a large amount every month until they are 18. And she will get another sum every month as their caretaker. This could easily be 1000's a month total.
2nd Story. BF is only second guessing how much he can control you and your money.
Yes finally someone thinks about pre recording, so many stories where people go confront someone or sees something and not yet records it
2nd story- ohmygod run girl run!! Before he impregnates you!! As long as your bills are paid then NOW actually IS the time to have fun with your OWN money!! Guys who are stingy with their own money are bad enough (it shows a selfishness in spirit, I bet he's selfish in bed too) but this guy is next level, ugh
NTA Yep that SIL is greedy. 50/50 is the best expected. Then the kids can split the 50/2. What a piece of work.
The audacity of approaching someone over their will expecting to organise things in accordance to your wishes!
story #2 your money is your money no matter what anyone else says how do you spend it is your business! If you decide to be in a relationship with this person anymore you should definitely get a prenup in regards to your financial stability! This person doesn't care about you only about your finances. Dump this guy & Move on to a partner .Who actually values you as a person not how much money you make or how you make it he sounds like a total Jealous A-whole. Who deserves to live alone
That last story.
That's not gonna work. They'll be divorced in a couple years.
That has to be the greediest person on Earth. 80k/mth salary and life insurance too 👢. What more is necessary? If her argument is there is no guarantees in life, Why does this apply negatively only to her.
He’s second guessing how much control can he take over you. It was probably his intention to get you to give him your check and he’d take care of the bills and save money, but the way you handle your finances he can’t wiggle his way into your bank account
You are only 30. More people are waiting to get married in their 30’s. And having children later. My husband was 40 when had our child.
It worked perfect. We had a home, savings, careers, and maturity. My daughter is all grown up with a family of her own. You have time.
When leaving money to kids you put the money in a trust. That way the parents can’t spend the money while kids are young. Usually, 25 to 30 is when the adult children would receive their inheritance.
The SIL acted like your father would be dying soon.
My husband’s mother lived until she was a hundred. She will have long time wait for the money. People are not dying young anymore.
Just because you don't have children doesn't make a person less valuable.
What a greedy sister in law
Im so happy I live in a country where this isn’t even an argument, because inheritances is determined by law to the family members and only a small percentage of it can be subjected to a will. Thinning beyond stupid the arguments I see on Reddit about this. And how stupid people act about money and thinking that fair is according to the number of heads… geeesh
Story one. Set the will up so the kids don't get anything until they are 18...
Evidence doesn’t lie. Good on her for recording. SIL’s not touching that will.
SET UP A TRUST FUND FOR HER KIDS THAT THEY CAN GET AT 21, NONE TO SISTER-IN-LAW FROM YOUR DAD'E WILL.
In story 2, I think someone is just looking for a guaranteed and very controlled mealticket.
Who's to say OP wouldn't have kids a couple of years from now? 2nd story, it's your money, totally not the a-hole.
Story 1: so what happens next. An update please
Get a divorce and leave savannah and her brother to their weird relationship with lukas husband as the third wheel
well nah i think Ryan will ended up leaving Luka and Luka will blamed Savannah for this
She needs to show him the door
First OP was right to be suspicious of their SIL's intentions of trying to get the bulk of OP's parents estate for her sons. Kids or not 75% is ridiculous to expect as they would actually only be entitled to 50% portion as their fathers heirs if anything . It would be understandable if she had been making sure her husbands portion went to her kids but she was asking for half of OP's inheritance too. It is highly apparent that the SIL was just being greedy and had been planning this for a long time even though her deceased husband didn't agree. It's a shame the father was fooled by her tears and didn't see how cutting OP off from half of their inheritance was totally unfair to them.
Story 2: The BF wants to get control of the money, pure and simple. It has nothing to do with OP's money-handling skills. He simply wants control (primarily) and her being able to essentially pull money out of thin air by using her freelancing talents threatens his control
Yes! The fact that he says she is "bad with money" (when it's obviously the opposite) is a first step at getting control. Then in a few months he'll start saying that he knows better and hence should manage her money from her. It's straight from the Narcissist playbook.
It sounded like OP's revelation threw him off. He found out she is indeed smart with her money and doesn't need his help or the benefit of his knowledge of finances. I guess his rethinking the relationship is a way to come up with a new strategy? Lol.
Absolutely - Oh, her savings Would disappear pretty quick alright.
S1: I'd change the Will and not tell SIL. Let her believe she's still getting 75%, so that when the time comes, her disappointment will be so much greater.
So why is ops mom not in the will?
(Story 1, 2:58 on transcript) grandfather counters against the dil's logic that he has TWO sons so why should he split the inheritance 25/75 in favor of her and his grandsons. Why is it being implied that OP is his daughter in the comments? Just because he is 30ish?
Grandfather needs to make the will split 50/50(25/25) between the OP and two grandsons as benefactors of their father's share of the inheritance but leave both of their shares in trusts that the dil absolutely can't access. Her greed makes my head spin.
Story 1:
So OP gets 25% and the mother of the grandkids wants 75% for her kids (really for her....but work with me here.) Those of you who are math challenged, that is the entire estate. So if he dies first.....what percentage is left to his WIFE....you know, the mother of HIS children????
It SHOULD specify that the spouse left alive gets 100% and after they die and ONLY after they die, does the estate get split between THEIR children.
In the case of my grandmother who had inherited everything after the death of her husband, everything went to her. Her will left everything to my father (her only child) and if he had died first it would have been divided equally between my brothers and I. What happened was that she died. Then my father died and everything went to my mother. Then SHE wrote her will dividing everything between my brothers and I.....and if they predeceased her, their portion would have been divided equally between their children, with me as a custodian for one brother and my other brothers wife as the custodian for their children. As I had no children, my portion would have been equally divided between my nieces and nephews (that was my call....she asked.)
My point here is that OPs father has completely left his own wife out of the entire equation!
Story 2. Dump the boyfriend, to me it just sound like he wants to control how you use your money, he never bothered to ask if you were doing OK with money when you were the one spending it on him, but the second he found out how much you make and what you spend it on your bad with money. Most people would be working the 9-5 job and spending every penny and going into debt 🙄 like seriously what is your second job cause my poor butt needs one that pays like that too.🤭 anyway... going into debt with credit cards living above their means. I'm guessing the boyfriend has one job and you make more than him so he feels like what does she need me for kinda thing.
What a coincidence! I was born with the same defect in my heart.
The dad did not take his responsability and did not settle his life before to get into another relationship. Week father and man. The childrens should not have to deal in adulte immaturity.
Story 1 I hate greedy gold diggers....I'd tell Dad to leave SIL just enough money she can't contest the will and to put anything he leaves for his grandchildren into a trust she can't access thus cutting her out entirely.
Money is so ugly. I hate inheritance. Really. Nothing kills familial love faster. Just split everything equally always. As for me, I'd rather not have it or even talk about it.
Damn she greedy. Tell yo dad u don't want anything and walk away from his and her life
1st story: be careful who you let in to your family
Is that correct, $80,000/month or should that be per year? If that is what she earns per month, $960,000/year, and that is not enough? What kind of life style is she living?
Greed is the center of story one and two....Put the Sons share in trust in a future college fund where Sil can not touch a penny of the inheritance.....Gold diggers come under All shapes and sizes.....Do not let him move in with you or Your extra money.....Gaslighting is his speciality......Run.....
Story 2 :- get out from under this silly person. It's obvious he is trying to get out of paying you ANY money, and is expecting you to cover ALLthe finances,while he does what he wants with his. He is being deliberately obtuse (hey, even I can understand your reasoning!),and trying to guilt - trip you into saying "OK, OK, OK, enough already, I'll do it your way!". NTA, OP, but start running, it's YOUR money, NOT HIS.
So brother didn't have life insurance?
And how can dad change the will without his wife? They they own it together?
First op should have told his dad to sign over 100 % of his estate to the grand kids and know that BOTH of his sons are dead to him.
2nd story. Honey, let him second guess your relationship, all by himself. Your money is your money. You are not spending his money, you are working a second job so you can afford your lifestyle you want. And you are under no obligation to let him know how you spend your income unless and until you start living together. But I would advise you not to move in with him because I think his real issue with your second job is the fact he assumed he would be at a financial advantage over you and would have the economic upper hand. He is a controlling douche.
Break up with him now. Do not move in with him because he wants to control you and he is already criticizing the way you handle your own money and why. You can do so much better,
And since when is it smart for people who live together without marriage share their assets?
@@mbyerly9680 I agree that even living together does not mean sharing assets. But I also believe that if you are in a living together relationship that includes likely marriage, commitment, and children that you don't necessarily need to share assets, but you really do need to talk about your assets and make some decisions about what the future will look like. I am someone who actually believes that money, bills, budgeting and a general attitude of what each person brings into a relationship is vital to make marriages, or even committed relationships work. My experiences make me believe that more relationships break up over money and how it is handled, and how each partner values the contributions the other one makes that almost anything else. I also see now, in my old age, that in my case my value as a mother, house keeper, personal secretary, cook, maid, toilet scrubber, keeper of the calendar, nurse, gardener and Maintenace person in my marriages and relationships were never, ever considered as an equal contribution by the men I married. And that anytime I had a full time job and added a second income it never really did anything much to better our status as a family because it usually just meant that my money was used for bills, groceries, kids necessities, and emergencies and the man I was married to and working for would just keep and spend more of his money for himself, and feel put upon that I expected any help at all with family expenses.
I guess in the end my real feelings at 67 and 3 times divorced is that women are foolish to depend on men to have their best interest at heart. Girls, maybe it is time when considering relationships with men to be as selfish and self-centered about your money and needs as the man you are with is going to be about theirs.
If he want u to save money from job number 2 tell him he has to save the same amount as you sounds like he trying to be controlling over money
I lose my brother this year and it is hardenough without anything else on top
S1: You think she insulted his intelligence? Buddy, it looks like she hit the nail on the head.
what if op gets four sons in the next five years? this is ridiculous.
S2: OP says she saves "Some money" from her primary job. I bet anything that the real issue is that she saves a pittance from her first job and spends 100% of the money from her second job because she is a shopaholic. My brother has a shopaholic wife and she makes a ton of money at her job, significantly more than him, but she spends almost all of it contributing very little to the common living expenses, she saves less for retirement and the kids college funds than my brother dollar-wise which would be much less as a percentage. She lives with the your money is our money and my money is my money mindset and it would not matter how much she made she would still never save adequately. I doubt that her boyfriend is just a gold digger if his primary reason for wanting to move in together is so that she would not have to work two jobs so they could spend more time together. I think it is far more likely that this woman is just a funnel with whatever money she makes and her boyfriend would be very wise to run. The reason that this is more likely is because there is an absolute epidemic of shopaholics in recent years and studies show that a majority of people today are not saving adequately for retirement. The BF should run and never look back. Who cares how much she makes if she spends it all. What happens when they have kids and she will all of a sudden want to work way less. Will she be able to reduce her spending then? The sad thing is most shopaholics don't.
Second story - what % of your income is saved/invested? That helps is to define if you are “good with money”. Having no bills is different than being responsible.
Wow so it's one thing that he left it to his son's fine so what if you pass before your wife she didn't even consider your wife in this
Run from all of them
The guy in story 2 clearly wants to control OPs finances for his own benefit. I don't know why she can't see it.
Family!
And if the op had children would they decrease the sil's share for every child??
It's a silly story why isn't the dad's wife the primary person who is going to inherit the bulk of the assets?
Is that a sleeping bag behind you?
Wow emotional incest is something new I never wanted to hear.
S2: NTA and don't live with the guy. He sounds like a jealous, insecure toad.
Also 30 is really young. OP might have kids in the future and too, despite whatever the feelings are on it now. So that was a very poor argument. Also, OP may be the one who ends up caring for his mother when she gets older. Anything might happen in this world. I don't understand it when family gets greedy over money. OP is the nearest relation the sis in laws kids have! Why would she foster resentment there when her kids will need all the family around them they can get? OP would see little of the nephews if he's avoiding sis in law!
Sorry sister but what I said hardly makes a difference.
last story there is more to the story why would he jump to conclusions to tell her about the incense it's not normal how be so touchy and she saying nothing
Yes you are a whole for paying for your boyfriend. Doormat.
10:58 end of title story-misleading
👍🏻👌🏻
Story one: is OP male or female, it seems to change as the story is told.
Story 2: Red.flag alert. Sounds like boyfriend feels threatened by her financial independence. The "bad with money" is gas lighting and wants her to be dependent on him.
Second job onlyfriends?
The fathers are always idiots in these stories!
I could watch this more if there wasn't your little video in the corner looking at the stars reading the script. It's very distracting.
The sister inlaw is a real user
NTAH he is get rid of him