I’ll never forget the time I showed up to meet a guy I met on Tinder and right after he saw me and we exchanged pleasantries, he said he just needed to run back inside that particular bar to say bye to his friend. After waiting about 10 minutes, I go inside to try and find him and he’s gone. Completely ditched me on the spot. I was so hurt. I ended up matching with another guy, and fast forward 6 years later, we’ve been happily married for 3. Dating does suck but your person is out there. You are lovely and have a beautiful soul. ❤
That’s horrible! That’s disgusting behavior and you did not deserve that what so ever. But I’m so glad you found your ever after! That’s why I don’t give up open them. I know so many people who have met amazing people and I will find it too!
@@girlysoap9031True! Honestly looking back I was definitely settling because I was lonely at the time anyway, so I’m happy now that I didn’t have to waste any more time on that creep. 😋
What that guy is doing, is called bread-crumbing, giving you the least amount of effort to still keep you there! He is looking for good communication but just not from you. It’s difficult for us ladies to understand but when a man really wants you he will do all the s++t without any asking! That’s why it’s vital we remember our worth and don’t focus on what they say but rather what they do. Good luck to you, you seem like a great person. ❤❤
Dating is so tough! It can be an emotional roller coaster. When you first spoke about this guy asking you on a date at the last minute for a Saturday night, I thought “red flag”. It’s a learning process. Let the guy ask you out in advance. No last minute plans, this reminds me that he thinks of me as an afterthought. No judgement here cuz I’m completely guilty of the same behavior in my own dating life back in the day. But of course it’s always easier to see the red flags when they’re not the ones in your own life. Wishing you all the best. Thank you for sharing your experience and being so honest, open, and vulnerable.❤️🙏🏼❤️
Dating in my 30s was one of the most frustrating experiences. All the lying, blatant and by omission ugh! So many guys were vague and had commitment issues that I was not down to play with. 6 months after I gave up online dating, I met my bf because my friend met a guy on bumble who had a friend. All four of us went out one night and the rest is history. Life works in mysterious ways.
@@GUITARTIME2024 why is this funny? It’s called common courtesy doesn’t matter if your male or female just be a respectful person no need to ghost people this isn’t high school ppl need to grow up
Dog is so adorable! Dating is so difficult. Ghosting happens at my age too I’m 57. I stopped looking. I’m happy alone. If someone comes along then great if not I’ll be fine. New subscriber!
I am sending you a big hug! Ghosting reflects the other person's inability to show up for themselves, honor their truth, and speak their truth. You seem like a kind person, you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
So true, I’ve been both the ghostee and ghoster. I was a coward to end things and seem rude and also a jerk for not caring because some men were clingy. I’m glad I grew up and now I have confidence to let them know what I’m looking for and speak for my own boundaries.
Girl it’s not you - it’s them. Good news but also bad news 😭 I’m also dating I my 30s and I’ve been in your shoes, and the guy that waits until the last minute to make plans or confirm plans with you doesn’t know what he wants and those are the ones that ghost or string you along. My general rule is mixed signals is a no, but I’m also totally in support of doing it for the plot!!
God I remember the ghosting on tinder was bonkers for me too and at the time I was on it I was totally down to hookup 😂. I am so sorry you’re going through this, but you seem to be smart and kind and you’re beautiful ❤ I know it’s annoying to hear over and over again, but there’s nothing wrong with you. Interacting in the world is complex and there’s SO much luck involved in finding a partner. It’s not a worthiness problem, it’s a timing problem. You deserve a good thing with a person who will prioritize and adore you. I can’t wait to see the update when you find them 💕 thank you for your vulnerability and I’m so sorry your wine had gone off. That’s the worst LOL
Honestly, live your life spontaneously. Go on side quests that make no sense to you, because at least they would be new experiences. Go horse riding, join a bike club, try archery, etc. that’s how you meet new people and live a cool life.
Guys are psychotic but sometimes if you seem to eager or your into them too much they tend to back off they're strange its all about games with them unfortunately
@@GUITARTIME2024”chad gets all the action😢😢” bla bla, men that are forward and active get the action because they realize they are men and have to. A LOT of men are very passive, ”chads” are just proactive that any man can become.
Your video just popped up, so I've never watched you before, but I'm so angry that he made you cry! He is so not worth your tears! Please don't be discouraged because the right person for you is definitely out there.
yes of course 😂 didn’t mean to come off like that haha. just refreshing to hear people share realistic experiences rather than everything in life working out perfect 😭
You know, I think your choice in men and what you’re attracted to may be the problem not necessarily you as a person. Try going for people you don’t feel a spark for because they don’t cause you “butterflies” or anxiety
Just come across your channel & so happy I have ❤ So sorry you were ghosted. Dating is absolutely wild, I'm a 41 year old single mama & it's tough so I get you! Sending love & light from the UK ❤️❤️✨
Ghosting is soo rude and I've had it happen to me too. Don't blame yourself. What you need to do is not judge the person but instead judge the relationship it would have been. Do you want a man who just doesn't show up? No. You dont! Pick yourself up darling and move on. You will be stronger next time. Don't invest until a man invests in you. A man shows you who he is by his actions not words. Much love
I just got out of dating in my 30s & it was fucking horrendous. Cess pool is such a perfect description of what you have to choose from. I definitely know this doesn't help while you feel like you're floating in the abyss but one day you're going to go on a date & they will not leave you hanging, they will set up the next time they can see you & they will never make you feel unsure. Do NOT stop until they absolutely do those things for you. Because someone will. Additionally, I was confirmed this by my brother who is also single & dating; men and women just date differently. A man can meet the absolutely right person for him but if he is not ready to settle - he won't. Women date to find love, men date to find entertainment until they find what they are looking for. You are not the common denominator here, I promise you that with all my heart. I can't wait until you meet the person who is looking for you.
I wish I knew you in real life because you have such a warm, welcoming spirit. Ghosted douche’s loss. On to the next because your lobster is out there. Keep your head up and try not to be too discouraged. ❤️
You're so beautiful, and you know what you want. It's his loss, I know that's easy for me to say, but there is someone out there for you, don't give up on love, you will find it!!❤❤
I'm not the target audience (21 year old male) but let me say something. I think you are awesome based on this video, and I believe you will find what you're looking for. You remind me of my older sister's best friend. She never had a boyfriend until she was 32/33 and now she is 36 or so and married to a great guy. She went through all the same shit you have with terrible men, ghosting, etc. Also the other guys in these comments are dicks and I hope you'll ignore their pointless untrue comments.
Hi Nicole! It's the way is goes sometimes on apps and off them too...but dont loose faith! And what matters is that you see how awesome you are and what you bring.
Oh, I’m so sorry. Dating is the pits and there’s nothing wrong with you! I’ve taken a break from dating for my mental health, that’s how bad it got. I hope you find your person soon❤
Watching as a fellow gal in her 30's also dating. I swear it's a nightmare at times these days.. I've had to take a break from the apps to preserve my mental health lol! Thank you for sharing your experience w/us! Also, you're so pretty and your hair is stunning!!! 💛
I wanna give you a hug!! I'm trying to date at 55. Ugh!!! I wish I was in my 30s. 50s is even worse and it is very depressing. I love my dogs as well! ❤❤❤ you are beautiful and smart. F THEM!!
I'm a dude who's your age, but married 30 yrs now. Instead of "F them", she needs to get in shape. Why do women think guys will overlook these things. Looks are first.
I hope this wont offend you, you have a beautiful face! Beautiful harmonious features. I think you would be absolutely gorgeous if you were trim. As an overweight woman myself, i think we are prone to be second options when we stay in a heavier weight range. Im on a weight loss journey myself, so i hope you dont take this the wrong way. Years ago someone said the same to me and i was offended. But now i see they were right, especially after reflecting on how men have seen me over the years.
I’m so so sorry you were ghosted. That’s so shitty! I’ve had what I’ve thought were good friends who’ve ghosted as well. Ghosting culture is crazy! I know quite a few people who are dating in their 30s and 40s … and let me tell you… it ain’t you! Ive heard the same issues with dating in this age range. For the record.. I think you’re a super cool chick and any guy would be lucky to have you! Good luck!
you gotta work on yourself before trying to get someone else to join you... first body image, dont skip steps trying to get a man before you make yourself desirable, just being brutally honest
Some people portray themselves online totally different than who they are in real life. They may enjoy to play some online character, but all ends there. People online tend to treat others like disposables, thinking that there are unlimited options out there. Also people tend to act bad, because in their mind nobody else will find out. You can meet decent people through work, gym, class reunions, alumni gatherings, volunteering. Online you most likely will meet some very damaged people or predators. It may have been a blessing that this person ghosted you.
@@authenticallynicole3883 no they are. I've encountered it too many times. They can only keep up the lie for so long and then they try to make you feel crazy for wanting to be in a relationship
Honestly, I agree. I tried state why I was no longer interested and you basically can only report if they have harassed or done something obscene, nothing else.
Just had to say you’re absolutely stunningly beautiful! Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, there are amazing men out there (even if it doesn’t feel like it) lol ❤
Just to let you know that it's okay to be disappointed after you ghosted, or straigt up not to be followed up when a date was really good. I feel like men approach first dates as job interviews, present their best selves without deciding if they want to accept the offer once they get it. When you show interest back, they think like "oh good, I got the offer, let's see what better offer can I get then". Meantime you are left confused, thinking "if he did not like me why did he show all the greeen flags and interest in me?" He did not, he wanted you to like him first. The last part of your video where you cried resonated with me so much, happened me over 20 times maybe. So don't feel bad about feeling this way, dating just requirrs crazy level of self-worth, an unshakeble self trust and being a optimist- which all are hard to embody simultaneously. Best from Istanbul ❤
Sorry you misunderstood my comment. I was talking about myself and why I am not dating. But I wish you the very best. You appear to be a down to earth person.
Oh no! My comment was directed to a guy that posted on your comment who was being gross towards you. I ended up blocking him from the channel. Sorry if my comment stayed on your comment making it seem like it was directed to you.
@@authenticallynicole3883 No worries I have a You Tube channel myself and have received all kinds of comments. Anyway I don’t know how I found your channel but I subscribed 💖
Online dating especially sucks, it's like the same process for going on job interviews, the planning and choosing...it's not personal. I was single my whole life until I met my partner at like 28 and now I have a baby on the way. He's a bit older than me, and it's a blessing that he has the old school mentality and charm of talking to a woman in person. Online dating made me feel yucky cuz it was so consumptive. Not saying Online doesn't work for some, and I definitely got lucky with mine cuz I'm not one to go out and make the initiative...but even with the waiting, more natural ways of meeting people can be healthier and it doesn't leave you in the cycle of anticipation and rejection, or on the other hand having to choose between multiple options, because opportunities arise organically. It does mean being single for longer though if you stay off the apps lol
Check out the Women’s dating and confidence podcast!! I was in the exact same situation as you (dated assholes for all of my 20s and early 30s) and something in the podcast literally changed my brain chemistry as it relates to dating/relationships. I met my current husband about one month into binging this podcast and it was a game changer. Also I did her one on one/group coaching which took my healing journey to the next level but the podcasts alone are life changing
Girl! I just came across your channel! Love it! Just wanted to tell you don't count out the guys in there 20's !.. I am close to 40 and I have had one of my best relationships with a guy in his 20s .. he was the sweetest and most kind hearted humans I ever met .. and even more emotionally mature then most men in there 30s! 😊
You are deserving of someone who respects you and communicates with you. He obviously isn’t mature enough to be honest with you and that’s not someone worthy of your time and energy!
I think we have to understand most guys on dating sites are jerks, so if u set up a date and expect to go out again, it’s never gonna work,just go out chat and don’t get so upset when they ghost u, it lets u know they are not into u, and one day u might not be into a guy that likes u, it’s just how life works, so just don’t call it a date, it’s just getting to know someone...it takes months to really get to know a person, it will happen when it happens.
Just subscribed! Girl I’m in the same boat as you these men in their 30’s are something else that’s for sure… you’re definitely a catch you’re smart beautiful funny! It’s honestly his loss he’s a dick! Please just remember when a guy is interested he will drop everything to talk to you ❤ I’m looking for the same thing in this sesspool of men. Why is it when you find someone nice they’re always already dating someone what’s up with that?! I met someone a few days ago when I went out and of course he’s dating someone 🤦🏼♀️
😢girl I so understand I'm 33 and I'm having the same trouble they all seem to abandoned me and have horrible communication...19:53 i feel our husbands r still out there
Aww, sweetie, nothing negative you're thinking about yourself is true. The bible in 2Timothy 3:1-4 talks about men (aka: people) will be lovers of themselves. Unfortunately, a lot of people are this way. However, we do have hope for the future in Revelation 21:1-4, God promises to wipe out every tear from our eyes. I encourage you to find guidance and comfort in God through prayer ❤
Darling, he just wasn't your person. And you were not his. And that's okay. Looks like you dodged the bullet here as this person clearly has no manners. Please do yourself a favour and next time a man ask you out last minute on Saturday say no. Say you are busy. If he really wants to see you he will make plans for next week. I probably should not give dating advice as I'm 42 and single but at least now my sense of self worth is in a much better place than it was in the past when I was crying over a douchebags. Sending warm hugs. Your doggie is precuous. She loves her momma 💕
I’m 33 and now I see men’s half ass behavior vs their best behavior as black and white. They either love me or hate me. Example I texted a guy after being ghosted I wanted to see him (in general) and he quickly texted back an offer to meet him now at his place. This shows he hates me to be inconsiderate of the time and place. Does he think I’m a pizza delivery? Never again will I bother with a guy who chooses to not be consistent and considerate with me.
I’m sorry this happened 😢 I was a little confused though, did you message him about Oktoberfest plans and he didn’t message you back? Or did he just not follow back up after having conversation for the week leading up to?
Keep us updated on this guy. Did he text you to apologize? I’ve been ghosted a couple times and I don’t get it. Either they have someone else or better plans came up. Sorry girl! ❤
aww people who ghost are cowardice losers so you dodged a bullet. dating can suck big time (i was on apps for like a decade so i have experienced haha) but you seem super sweet and i hope you find someone deserving of you in the future :)
If you honestly just lose some weight and get healthy you will feel so confident and attractive and then you might find yourself securing more dates, other than men who sadly use you as a last resort date. Dates at 8pm with no prior communication is not right and it's just in case the date with the woman he really wants to go on with drops out last minute at least he has you. I'm sorry for the harshness but maybe they can motivate you good luck
The guy you enjoyed the date with showed you he was inconsistent from the start. Then you expected him to be consistent. Make it make sense. You need to change your outlook and set better boundaries. You should have cut him off when he was inconsistent from the jump. You remind me of OhStephCo here on YT but she's older and slowly starting to give up.
Just found you! You are gorgeous and amazing. Fuck the dudes! ❤ It'll happen though. I'm almost forty and a college teacher. My person is 3yrs younger than me and I was 33ish when we met!
You are not a horrible person but are you seeing a therapist? There are 2 red flags that stood out to me that I think would be good for you to work on. 1) you were available to this guy on a Saturday last minute when he didnt message you for a while. You set the tone that said I am okay to be treated a last option. I would have nicely told him when i would be available again and see if he made any effort. He didnt make any effort and you 'showed up'. 2) the guy from Tuesday you said you ddin't feel a 'spark' - spark is not a real thing. You said you are attacted to jerks and the first guy was a jerk in the way he treated you so you felt comfortable and felt a 'spark'. The Tuesday guy wasnt a jerk enough for you. He was probably "boring" to you. Spark is a truama response to something familiar. Its comfortable to be treated awful if thats what you know so well. Your brain doesnt know how to feel spark from someone stable (this can be in romantic and friendship). I highly recommend seeing a therapist as you go through this. You are a good person and deserve love but there is a part of you that doesnt love yourself and you convince yourself that if i am that 'go with the flow' girl, people will like me. You are not in your 20s anymore, go with the flow is good when you dont know about life much and going with the flow helps you experience life. In your 30s, you know a bit more and have standard. Love yourself to keep those standards.
I was on and off with some guy I gave him second chance though ok divorced with kids is not best choice as I have 38 and still chance to meet someone not commited some past problem etc but…He cheat with prostitute from gogo club which he visited often when I struugled with selling and moving from my lovely property. I went visit him 5 h and he just was asshole disgusting experience.
Hey girl I saw your vídeo and if you dont want to tô intrusive but if you want some advice , when a guy gosta you ain't your fault, just move along with another dude , block the order guy Don give him chances , and the other thing that u said you like assholes go to therapy, learn why do you like that type a guy and try to get confident
I just ghosted someone, then apologized for it. The reason I did it was because I was conflicted. I didn't want to tell them the vain truth of why I stop communicating. I feel like Apps really multiply male nature to just drop seed and move onto the next person. I think this access highlights our basic primal nature. Of course it's the grass is greener affect too. We're not mentally equipped to handle this access, it's an addiction.
Look, you have a great smile andI dig your personality. Your issue is your weight. Im a dude telling you this. You have great potential but being in shape should be your main focus for the next year, not dating. I'd say the same thing to a guy (and I have).
@Betterbelieveitbaby news flash. MOST men want a woman who's in shape. Guys who are ok with out of shape women are low value men, or just looking for casual booty calls. And I never said skinny. Just in shape.
Your issue is you're attracted to her but still telling her to change herself so you'll feel more comfortable being attracted to her. Sir, go find a lady to date and leave this woman alone.
@kilaa3417 wrong. I'm not attracted to her. She has potential to be attractive. But it will require a food and gym adjustment. It's sad that you can't be a real ally of this wonan and tell her the truth.
@ it's a realistic comment baby girl. when you care you tell the true, of course men will prefer someone who takes care of the health . And not just for the men, but for your future self as well.
I’ll never forget the time I showed up to meet a guy I met on Tinder and right after he saw me and we exchanged pleasantries, he said he just needed to run back inside that particular bar to say bye to his friend. After waiting about 10 minutes, I go inside to try and find him and he’s gone. Completely ditched me on the spot. I was so hurt.
I ended up matching with another guy, and fast forward 6 years later, we’ve been happily married for 3. Dating does suck but your person is out there. You are lovely and have a beautiful soul. ❤
That’s horrible! That’s disgusting behavior and you did not deserve that what so ever.
But I’m so glad you found your ever after! That’s why I don’t give up open them. I know so many people who have met amazing people and I will find it too!
he couldve been cheating and felt bad honestly
@@girlysoap9031True! Honestly looking back I was definitely settling because I was lonely at the time anyway, so I’m happy now that I didn’t have to waste any more time on that creep. 😋
What that guy is doing, is called bread-crumbing, giving you the least amount of effort to still keep you there! He is looking for good communication but just not from you. It’s difficult for us ladies to understand but when a man really wants you he will do all the s++t without any asking! That’s why it’s vital we remember our worth and don’t focus on what they say but rather what they do. Good luck to you, you seem like a great person. ❤❤
I'm a dude. A man will definitely put in effort, but we aren't mind readers. We also don't want to one across too needy.
Dating is so tough! It can be an emotional roller coaster. When you first spoke about this guy asking you on a date at the last minute for a Saturday night, I thought “red flag”. It’s a learning process. Let the guy ask you out in advance. No last minute plans, this reminds me that he thinks of me as an afterthought. No judgement here cuz I’m completely guilty of the same behavior in my own dating life back in the day. But of course it’s always easier to see the red flags when they’re not the ones in your own life. Wishing you all the best. Thank you for sharing your experience and being so honest, open, and vulnerable.❤️🙏🏼❤️
Oh I’ve reflected. Soooooo many 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Dating in my 30s was one of the most frustrating experiences. All the lying, blatant and by omission ugh! So many guys were vague and had commitment issues that I was not down to play with. 6 months after I gave up online dating, I met my bf because my friend met a guy on bumble who had a friend. All four of us went out one night and the rest is history. Life works in mysterious ways.
That’s awesome! Need to search in the wild
Dudes are vague and commitment phobic when our interest is low to medium. We aren't complex.
Think of all the good men you brushed aside in your 20’s. Now it’s crumbs in the 30’s
@@MMacAttack just shut up
My one bit of advice is to not go out with them if they last minute message you to go out after not hearing from them for a few days.
As a dude I'm laughing at all these comments.
@@GUITARTIME2024 why is this funny? It’s called common courtesy doesn’t matter if your male or female just be a respectful person no need to ghost people this isn’t high school ppl need to grow up
@@MckVF nope. Ghosting is acceptable. Welcome to earth.
@GUITARTIME2024 Not a gentleman thing to do
Just you shush and go listen to Van Halen or something
Sooooo relatable!!!! Your precious dog kissing your tears away is next level precious!!!!
She is the best. Don’t know what I would do without her
Dog is so adorable! Dating is so difficult. Ghosting happens at my age too I’m 57. I stopped looking. I’m happy alone. If someone comes along then great if not I’ll be fine. New subscriber!
This is such a beautiful and supportive comment section…go Nicole!
I am sending you a big hug! Ghosting reflects the other person's inability to show up for themselves, honor their truth, and speak their truth. You seem like a kind person, you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
So true, I’ve been both the ghostee and ghoster. I was a coward to end things and seem rude and also a jerk for not caring because some men were clingy. I’m glad I grew up and now I have confidence to let them know what I’m looking for and speak for my own boundaries.
@ 💜
Girl it’s not you - it’s them. Good news but also bad news 😭 I’m also dating I my 30s and I’ve been in your shoes, and the guy that waits until the last minute to make plans or confirm plans with you doesn’t know what he wants and those are the ones that ghost or string you along. My general rule is mixed signals is a no, but I’m also totally in support of doing it for the plot!!
“Do it for the plot” lol that’s how I’m living my life.
God I remember the ghosting on tinder was bonkers for me too and at the time I was on it I was totally down to hookup 😂. I am so sorry you’re going through this, but you seem to be smart and kind and you’re beautiful ❤ I know it’s annoying to hear over and over again, but there’s nothing wrong with you. Interacting in the world is complex and there’s SO much luck involved in finding a partner. It’s not a worthiness problem, it’s a timing problem. You deserve a good thing with a person who will prioritize and adore you. I can’t wait to see the update when you find them 💕 thank you for your vulnerability and I’m so sorry your wine had gone off. That’s the worst LOL
Aw thank you! Really do appreciate it!
Just means I had to go buy a new bottle 🍷
Honestly, live your life spontaneously. Go on side quests that make no sense to you, because at least they would be new experiences. Go horse riding, join a bike club, try archery, etc. that’s how you meet new people and live a cool life.
Guys are psychotic but sometimes if you seem to eager or your into them too much they tend to back off they're strange its all about games with them unfortunately
I'm a dude. We don't play games if we are truly into the woman. Chad plays games but he gets all the action so women think all guys do that. 😅
@@GUITARTIME2024 I completely agree not all men play games just like there are some bad apples among females there are some good men as well 😊
@@GUITARTIME2024”chad gets all the action😢😢” bla bla, men that are forward and active get the action because they realize they are men and have to. A LOT of men are very passive, ”chads” are just proactive that any man can become.
@ilovetemfo partially agree but dating market is heavily tilted. How much tap dancing does an average guy have to do? Plenty!
@ being forward and asking women on dates is tap dancing? Jesus how we have falling, men these days think they should just get women like that huh
Your video just popped up, so I've never watched you before, but I'm so angry that he made you cry! He is so not worth your tears! Please don't be discouraged because the right person for you is definitely out there.
Thank you! I was more frustrated than anything. All good now! Even went a a different date 😉
Your dog looking at you when you’re crying is the sweetest thing. You are so deserving and the right man will find you. I’m 39 and have been there. 😘
Dude, as someone who has seen your Video-Intros No-less than 25 times, I gotta say……his loss man.
You’re a hella-fun gal, and quite a catch too!
Absolutely I was thinking the same thing!!
i need this to be a series😩subscribed!
Let’s hope it’s a limited series 😂
yes of course 😂 didn’t mean to come off like that haha. just refreshing to hear people share realistic experiences rather than everything in life working out perfect 😭
Oh took no offense to the comment at all! Always here for the authenticity!
You know, I think your choice in men and what you’re attracted to may be the problem not necessarily you as a person. Try going for people you don’t feel a spark for because they don’t cause you “butterflies” or anxiety
Just found your channel, obsessed, subscribed, watching every video rn
Aw thanks!
Loved this video because it is just super real , just keep dating until you find the right one
The way your dog climbed into your lap and stared up at you while you gave the update 😂🥰 so cute!
You seem so genuine and really nice & fun. His loss FOR SURE.
Aw thank you!
I love the way Remi is looking at you while you talk 🥰
She is the best girl! Don’t know how I got so lucky to have such an amazing pup.
Just come across your channel & so happy I have ❤ So sorry you were ghosted. Dating is absolutely wild, I'm a 41 year old single mama & it's tough so I get you! Sending love & light from the UK ❤️❤️✨
Back in the single life in my forties. It is a shit show and I always put myself first now.
I'm a dude in my fifties. Keep "putting yourself first". 😅
@@GUITARTIME2024 sir, go ask a lady on a date please.
@kilaa3417 it's always a "shit show" for post 40 women. Noticed that? Zero self accountability. Sad.
HEY GIRL! I THOUGHT YOUD HAVE 300k SUBSCRIBERS IM MIND BLOWN BY THE QUALITY AND ENTERTAINMENT ❤❤❤❤❤
Aw thank you! That is so kind!
I want to learn to do more with the editing, but that task needs to wait a bit.
8:35 hearing that as an adoptee is heartwarming, adoption saves lives
That person wasn't the one. You're fantastic and your person is out there. 😊
You didn't deserve to be ghosted. Very rude and immature. 😑
Aw thank you! No one deserves to be ghosted. Going to start taking security deposits for now on
Ghosting is soo rude and I've had it happen to me too. Don't blame yourself. What you need to do is not judge the person but instead judge the relationship it would have been. Do you want a man who just doesn't show up? No. You dont! Pick yourself up darling and move on. You will be stronger next time. Don't invest until a man invests in you. A man shows you who he is by his actions not words. Much love
So sorry you were ghosted :(
Thank you! Bounced back quickly. More frustrated than anything
I just got out of dating in my 30s & it was fucking horrendous. Cess pool is such a perfect description of what you have to choose from. I definitely know this doesn't help while you feel like you're floating in the abyss but one day you're going to go on a date & they will not leave you hanging, they will set up the next time they can see you & they will never make you feel unsure. Do NOT stop until they absolutely do those things for you. Because someone will.
Additionally, I was confirmed this by my brother who is also single & dating; men and women just date differently. A man can meet the absolutely right person for him but if he is not ready to settle - he won't. Women date to find love, men date to find entertainment until they find what they are looking for.
You are not the common denominator here, I promise you that with all my heart. I can't wait until you meet the person who is looking for you.
love you girl and i support you! ❤hope we see a boyfriend, engagement and family vlogs soon in the future! stay bless girly 😊🥹🙏🏾
I wish I knew you in real life because you have such a warm, welcoming spirit. Ghosted douche’s loss. On to the next because your lobster is out there. Keep your head up and try not to be too discouraged. ❤️
You're so beautiful, and you know what you want. It's his loss, I know that's easy for me to say, but there is someone out there for you, don't give up on love, you will find it!!❤❤
I'm not the target audience (21 year old male) but let me say something. I think you are awesome based on this video, and I believe you will find what you're looking for. You remind me of my older sister's best friend. She never had a boyfriend until she was 32/33 and now she is 36 or so and married to a great guy. She went through all the same shit you have with terrible men, ghosting, etc.
Also the other guys in these comments are dicks and I hope you'll ignore their pointless untrue comments.
Hi Nicole! It's the way is goes sometimes on apps and off them too...but dont loose faith! And what matters is that you see how awesome you are and what you bring.
Yes! Thank you!
Oh, I’m so sorry. Dating is the pits and there’s nothing wrong with you! I’ve taken a break from dating for my mental health, that’s how bad it got. I hope you find your person soon❤
Watching as a fellow gal in her 30's also dating. I swear it's a nightmare at times these days.. I've had to take a break from the apps to preserve my mental health lol! Thank you for sharing your experience w/us! Also, you're so pretty and your hair is stunning!!! 💛
I wanna give you a hug!! I'm trying to date at 55. Ugh!!! I wish I was in my 30s. 50s is even worse and it is very depressing. I love my dogs as well! ❤❤❤ you are beautiful and smart. F THEM!!
You got this! We don’t give up!
I'm a dude who's your age, but married 30 yrs now. Instead of "F them", she needs to get in shape. Why do women think guys will overlook these things. Looks are first.
there is a lid for every pot and she is beautiful!
I hope this wont offend you, you have a beautiful face! Beautiful harmonious features. I think you would be absolutely gorgeous if you were trim. As an overweight woman myself, i think we are prone to be second options when we stay in a heavier weight range. Im on a weight loss journey myself, so i hope you dont take this the wrong way. Years ago someone said the same to me and i was offended. But now i see they were right, especially after reflecting on how men have seen me over the years.
Wow. You're a beautiful woman and you seem very genuine. It's their loss who ghosts you!
I’m so so sorry you were ghosted. That’s so shitty! I’ve had what I’ve thought were good friends who’ve ghosted as well. Ghosting culture is crazy!
I know quite a few people who are dating in their 30s and 40s … and let me tell you… it ain’t you! Ive heard the same issues with dating in this age range.
For the record.. I think you’re a super cool chick and any guy would be lucky to have you! Good luck!
Dating stories as a series? It’s the Wild West out there 😂
you gotta work on yourself before trying to get someone else to join you... first body image, dont skip steps trying to get a man before you make yourself desirable, just being brutally honest
Exactly!
i cried with you towards the end nicole im almost 30 i enjoyed this i get how you feel
You're such a sweet and lovely soul! 💖 I absolutely loved watching this, your energy is so calming...Sending lots of love all the way from Morocco 🇲🇦✨
21:05 i'm with you on this. Its a blessing, your person will find you
Some people portray themselves online totally different than who they are in real life. They may enjoy to play some online character, but all ends there. People online tend to treat others like disposables, thinking that there are unlimited options out there. Also people tend to act bad, because in their mind nobody else will find out. You can meet decent people through work, gym, class reunions, alumni gatherings, volunteering. Online you most likely will meet some very damaged people or predators. It may have been a blessing that this person ghosted you.
Good luck girl you seem like a kind and caring person
I really like your videos. You have super good vibes 🥰!!
Thank you so much!!
Girl.... Half of them are married 😂
😂 I sure hope not!
@@authenticallynicole3883 no they are. I've encountered it too many times. They can only keep up the lie for so long and then they try to make you feel crazy for wanting to be in a relationship
Thays very true
New subscriber! Rooting for you girl 🤍🫶🏼
Thank you so much!!
Being ignored all week then immediately showed up as soon as you heard something from the guy is pathetic. You gotta teach people to respect you.
Ugh, jerk! Those dating apps need a Reviews section so you can call out all the bad behaviour and ill communication.
Honestly, I agree. I tried state why I was no longer interested and you basically can only report if they have harassed or done something obscene, nothing else.
Just had to say you’re absolutely stunningly beautiful! Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, there are amazing men out there (even if it doesn’t feel like it) lol ❤
Just to let you know that it's okay to be disappointed after you ghosted, or straigt up not to be followed up when a date was really good.
I feel like men approach first dates as job interviews, present their best selves without deciding if they want to accept the offer once they get it. When you show interest back, they think like "oh good, I got the offer, let's see what better offer can I get then".
Meantime you are left confused, thinking "if he did not like me why did he show all the greeen flags and interest in me?" He did not, he wanted you to like him first.
The last part of your video where you cried resonated with me so much, happened me over 20 times maybe. So don't feel bad about feeling this way, dating just requirrs crazy level of self-worth, an unshakeble self trust and being a optimist- which all are hard to embody simultaneously.
Best from Istanbul ❤
Sorry you misunderstood my comment. I was talking about myself and why I am not dating. But I wish you the very best. You appear to be a down to earth person.
Oh no! My comment was directed to a guy that posted on your comment who was being gross towards you.
I ended up blocking him from the channel. Sorry if my comment stayed on your comment making it seem like it was directed to you.
@@authenticallynicole3883 oh I see lol 😂
So sorry for the miscommunication! You were being vulnerable and do really appreciate it!
@@authenticallynicole3883 No worries I have a You Tube channel myself and have received all kinds of comments. Anyway I don’t know how I found your channel but I subscribed 💖
Online dating especially sucks, it's like the same process for going on job interviews, the planning and choosing...it's not personal. I was single my whole life until I met my partner at like 28 and now I have a baby on the way. He's a bit older than me, and it's a blessing that he has the old school mentality and charm of talking to a woman in person. Online dating made me feel yucky cuz it was so consumptive. Not saying Online doesn't work for some, and I definitely got lucky with mine cuz I'm not one to go out and make the initiative...but even with the waiting, more natural ways of meeting people can be healthier and it doesn't leave you in the cycle of anticipation and rejection, or on the other hand having to choose between multiple options, because opportunities arise organically. It does mean being single for longer though if you stay off the apps lol
Check out the Women’s dating and confidence podcast!! I was in the exact same situation as you (dated assholes for all of my 20s and early 30s) and something in the podcast literally changed my brain chemistry as it relates to dating/relationships. I met my current husband about one month into binging this podcast and it was a game changer. Also I did her one on one/group coaching which took my healing journey to the next level but the podcasts alone are life changing
On it! Need a new podcast to listen to.
In my 30s too also trying to date but it’s so exhausting!
Girl! I just came across your channel! Love it! Just wanted to tell you don't count out the guys in there 20's !.. I am close to 40 and I have had one of my best relationships with a guy in his 20s .. he was the sweetest and most kind hearted humans I ever met .. and even more emotionally mature then most men in there 30s! 😊
Maybe I’ll drop it a little bit 😂
You are deserving of someone who respects you and communicates with you. He obviously isn’t mature enough to be honest with you and that’s not someone worthy of your time and energy!
I think we have to understand most guys on dating sites are jerks, so if u set up a date and expect to go out again, it’s never gonna work,just go out chat and don’t get so upset when they ghost u, it lets u know they are not into u, and one day u might not be into a guy that likes u, it’s just how life works, so just don’t call it a date, it’s just getting to know someone...it takes months to really get to know a person, it will happen when it happens.
Just subscribed! Girl I’m in the same boat as you these men in their 30’s are something else that’s for sure… you’re definitely a catch you’re smart beautiful funny! It’s honestly his loss he’s a dick! Please just remember when a guy is interested he will drop everything to talk to you ❤ I’m looking for the same thing in this sesspool of men. Why is it when you find someone nice they’re always already dating someone what’s up with that?! I met someone a few days ago when I went out and of course he’s dating someone 🤦🏼♀️
😢girl I so understand I'm 33 and I'm having the same trouble they all seem to abandoned me and have horrible communication...19:53 i feel our husbands r still out there
Aww, sweetie, nothing negative you're thinking about yourself is true. The bible in 2Timothy 3:1-4 talks about men (aka: people) will be lovers of themselves. Unfortunately, a lot of people are this way. However, we do have hope for the future in Revelation 21:1-4, God promises to wipe out every tear from our eyes. I encourage you to find guidance and comfort in God through prayer ❤
all i can hear is september playing in my head now 🤣
You’re welcome! 😂
You are so Pretty ! ✨
I'm dating in my 40. SAVAGE!!!!
Darling, he just wasn't your person. And you were not his. And that's okay. Looks like you dodged the bullet here as this person clearly has no manners. Please do yourself a favour and next time a man ask you out last minute on Saturday say no. Say you are busy. If he really wants to see you he will make plans for next week. I probably should not give dating advice as I'm 42 and single but at least now my sense of self worth is in a much better place than it was in the past when I was crying over a douchebags. Sending warm hugs. Your doggie is precuous. She loves her momma 💕
Sending you a big hug Nicole ... ❤️🩹
keep it up nicole, you're doing great
I’m 33 and now I see men’s half ass behavior vs their best behavior as black and white. They either love me or hate me. Example I texted a guy after being ghosted I wanted to see him (in general) and he quickly texted back an offer to meet him now at his place. This shows he hates me to be inconsiderate of the time and place. Does he think I’m a pizza delivery? Never again will I bother with a guy who chooses to not be consistent and considerate with me.
We know our worth!
I hope you blocked him even if he had a good reason to not be able to make the date he shouldve communicated that to you ahead of time.
I unmatched him. But will give all updates in a future video
NEVER accept such a late invite.
Let’s all take a moment of silence for that man’s future wife. That’s a very cowardly act and clearly he is no gentleman.
hearts and love to you what's meant for you will find you
Hey hey! What dating app are you using? ❤
Currently it’s Hinge. May tryout a different one for a video lol
I’m sorry this happened 😢 I was a little confused though, did you message him about Oktoberfest plans and he didn’t message you back? Or did he just not follow back up after having conversation for the week leading up to?
So he asked me to Oktoberfest and was texting me up until the day of. I sent a message for confirmation and nothing.
Looking back, there were 🚩🚩🚩
@@authenticallynicole3883 ughhhhh so disappointing!! You did good though, you put yourself out there - that’s the hardest part I think.
Keep us updated on this guy. Did he text you to apologize? I’ve been ghosted a couple times and I don’t get it. Either they have someone else or better plans came up. Sorry girl! ❤
We run calculations in our head. Trust me.
aww people who ghost are cowardice losers so you dodged a bullet. dating can suck big time (i was on apps for like a decade so i have experienced haha) but you seem super sweet and i hope you find someone deserving of you in the future :)
who the hell would ghost u - u have such a relaxing vibe and are a good storyteller. his loss :P
Thank you! Ghosters are people without any form of maturity and didn’t have to deal with their decisions early on.
On to find the good ones!
How old are you exactly?
If you honestly just lose some weight and get healthy you will feel so confident and attractive and then you might find yourself securing more dates, other than men who sadly use you as a last resort date. Dates at 8pm with no prior communication is not right and it's just in case the date with the woman he really wants to go on with drops out last minute at least he has you. I'm sorry for the harshness but maybe they can motivate you good luck
The guy you enjoyed the date with showed you he was inconsistent from the start. Then you expected him to be consistent. Make it make sense.
You need to change your outlook and set better boundaries. You should have cut him off when he was inconsistent from the jump.
You remind me of OhStephCo here on YT but she's older and slowly starting to give up.
Just found you! You are gorgeous and amazing. Fuck the dudes! ❤ It'll happen though. I'm almost forty and a college teacher. My person is 3yrs younger than me and I was 33ish when we met!
"F the dudes" but "it'll happen". If the dudes are so awful, why should anything happen? Cognitive dissonance. 😅 Kamaka voter for sure.
You are not a horrible person but are you seeing a therapist? There are 2 red flags that stood out to me that I think would be good for you to work on. 1) you were available to this guy on a Saturday last minute when he didnt message you for a while. You set the tone that said I am okay to be treated a last option. I would have nicely told him when i would be available again and see if he made any effort. He didnt make any effort and you 'showed up'. 2) the guy from Tuesday you said you ddin't feel a 'spark' - spark is not a real thing. You said you are attacted to jerks and the first guy was a jerk in the way he treated you so you felt comfortable and felt a 'spark'. The Tuesday guy wasnt a jerk enough for you. He was probably "boring" to you. Spark is a truama response to something familiar. Its comfortable to be treated awful if thats what you know so well. Your brain doesnt know how to feel spark from someone stable (this can be in romantic and friendship). I highly recommend seeing a therapist as you go through this. You are a good person and deserve love but there is a part of you that doesnt love yourself and you convince yourself that if i am that 'go with the flow' girl, people will like me. You are not in your 20s anymore, go with the flow is good when you dont know about life much and going with the flow helps you experience life. In your 30s, you know a bit more and have standard. Love yourself to keep those standards.
Same, girl. Same !
Your dog looks like Bartok from Anastasia so cute
That’s actually her middle name! I called her Bartok for the first week I had her because I couldn’t choose a name. Still responds to it 😂
@@authenticallynicole3883 awww
I was on and off with some guy I gave him second chance though ok divorced with kids is not best choice as I have 38 and still chance to meet someone not commited some past problem etc but…He cheat with prostitute from gogo club which he visited often when I struugled with selling and moving from my lovely property. I went visit him 5 h and he just was asshole disgusting experience.
Good luck
What bread is your dog??? 🐕
Sourdough
Maybe try listening upgrade your life on youtube
Maybe that can help
Hey girl I saw your vídeo and if you dont want to tô intrusive but if you want some advice , when a guy gosta you ain't your fault, just move along with another dude , block the order guy Don give him chances , and the other thing that u said you like assholes go to therapy, learn why do you like that type a guy and try to get confident
❤
I just ghosted someone, then apologized for it. The reason I did it was because I was conflicted. I didn't want to tell them the vain truth of why I stop communicating. I feel like Apps really multiply male nature to just drop seed and move onto the next person. I think this access highlights our basic primal nature. Of course it's the grass is greener affect too. We're not mentally equipped to handle this access, it's an addiction.
Look, you have a great smile andI dig your personality. Your issue is your weight. Im a dude telling you this. You have great potential but being in shape should be your main focus for the next year, not dating. I'd say the same thing to a guy (and I have).
@@GUITARTIME2024 not every guy likes skinny chicks. So this is not the reason buddy
@Betterbelieveitbaby news flash. MOST men want a woman who's in shape. Guys who are ok with out of shape women are low value men, or just looking for casual booty calls. And I never said skinny. Just in shape.
Your issue is you're attracted to her but still telling her to change herself so you'll feel more comfortable being attracted to her. Sir, go find a lady to date and leave this woman alone.
@kilaa3417 wrong. I'm not attracted to her. She has potential to be attractive. But it will require a food and gym adjustment. It's sad that you can't be a real ally of this wonan and tell her the truth.
@@GUITARTIME2024 I'm being a real ally of YOU and telling you you're being a creep. Cya
men are visual. You need to get fit 💞
That’s a disgusting and false comment, as a skinny girl can’t even count how many times guys told me they’re more into heavier thicker women
@ it's a realistic comment baby girl. when you care you tell the true, of course men will prefer someone who takes care of the health . And not just for the men, but for your future self as well.
@@edu-w9i Yeah, taking care of your health is attractive. Being healthy and fit is important. Healthy hair, skin, body weight = attractive.
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