Jerry West: Abuse from dad impacts relationships today
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 เม.ย. 2017
- Jerry West says his childhood home wasn’t pleasant - due to an abusive father - so he avoided home as much as possible by playing basketball and staying outdoors.
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Showing your love is more important than saying the word.
True. Saying it once in a while really makes a difference for many people as well
My dad use to tell me he only Hit me cause he loved me. And I was like, Go find someone else to love.
@@radar0412 How old were you when that happened? Was it disciplinary hitting for doing something that you knew was wrong?
@@earlem9771 Even a dog knows the difference between being stepped over, and being kicked.
FEELING Loved is more important than hearing the words.
Hearing this tears me up. My father was such a good man. I've always thought everyone had a dad like mine. Jerry, I'm so sorry. You did so well. Be proud.
I agree. Having an emotionally weak father growing up is worse than having no father. My father used to put down my mom and me all the time. He still does this a bit to this day. He has never achieved anything big in his life and because of that he feels the need to constantly put others down so that things aren't looking as bad for him. I had to distance myself from him and worked on curing the damage he did to me. I eventaully outgrew it but the price was high. I wish nobody had ever to endure that.
🙏
How did it affect you psychologically emotionally spiritually and mentally?
So true
@Lizi Moody Specter. Wow same here. My father never laid a finger on me but he verbally abused me for years. Putting me down, telling me that I wasn't good enough criticizing every which one of my decisions, hobbies, my passions etc etc. I had to distance myself too. It breaks my heart to not have the kind of father/son relationship that every man deserves. He's 81 years old now and at 29 years old I still can't say I have fully healed from that episode. I'm still hurt and will probably still be hurt once he's gone
Been there. I feel empathy for you.
Jerry West is the definition of an NBA legend. He has so much wisdom and insight on so many different topics. I know he talks about not wanting to be the NBA logo anymore, and he is very humble, but he deserves it as much as anybody.
FACTS
TRUTH
I will riot in the streets if they ever think about changing the logo!
MORE!!!
Agree with Ryan and Boldun. Jerry is such a class act - it has been such a pleasure for me to witness his successes the past 50+ years, since I started following the NBA in the late 60’s. His memoir is well worth reading.
Much respect for Jerry to be honest and candid on how he feels about his dad. I get the same feelings as his but never speak to anyone else. Great interview btw Graham.
He's definitely got some pent up emotions he's keeping locked up.
There are a lot of baby boomers out there who grew up with the strict, mean fathers who didn't show them the kind of love people give their kids today. Showing emotion was weak.
My Dads somewhat like that. I don't think I've ever seen him even shed a tear. He's a good man, just emotionally vacant in some ways.
“I love you” is said too much but not enough.
I know all about this. Appreciate the honesty and candor.
The part where he talks about having difficulty telling people I love you..So true and profound, sometimes you feel like certain people close to you just don't deserve to hear that..telling someone you love them is such a strong statement.
Jay Tee Are you saying his children don’t deserve to hear that their Dad loves them? WOW 😮! Liberalism is truly a mental disorder!!!!!
No, that's not what he's saying. You have a reading comprehension problem, not unusual for a right wing idiot.
Ok genius explain what he meant.
Explain where Jay Tee said in his comment where children don't deserve to hear that their Dad loves them. He just said that some people have difficulty saying it, which is what Jerry West said here. And if you know that your Dad loves you, but he's not demonstrative and has a hard time saying it, you accept it. My Dad was like that and it never bothered me for a minute.
"Sometimes you feel like certain people close to you just don't deserve to hear that". And you are questioning someone else's reading comprehension?
graham wanted jerry to explicitly describe how his dad would whoop his ass but Logo kept deflecting
That’s a good man right there. He’s not here with us and even though he still has resentment, he still won’t publicly air out family business like that.
I thought it was a fair place to go to.... but West wouldn't bite... most likely was REALLY bad stuff, & embarrassing to him.
You can see the pain in his eyes. I can relate to Jerry West in some ways so hearing him talk about this makes me cry.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🤴🏻☝🏽. J.W never bad mouth his dad one time during this interview, but you can see the pain in his eye every time he spoke about him though. 😔
My parents never said that they loved me. But the love was understood. My Mom on her death bed came out of a coma, looked at my brother and said I love you. 3 days later she died. WW2 generation. Very stoic.
Jerry West is like 80 and he STILL remembers the abuse he went through. Jeez
It's not hard to forget childhood trauma. It can last a lifetime.
Some people have sharp memories of their childhood.
There’s no statute of limitations on childhood trauma!! That s**t NEVER goes away!!!
Umer Mahmood he’s also as sharp as a man who’s decades younger than he is
The effects of childhood abuse is actually worse when you get older because you need to rely upon positive influences more and more as you age.
My mum has never said she loves me all my life, but I know she is the person who loves me more than anyone has or ever will in my life... She is 65 now, I've had people who say they loved me and their actions spoke otherwise..
Wow, what a personal interview. Jerry West seems to be such a genuine and sensitive person.
I had shitty parents, too. It helps to say it out loud.
I can relate to that in a way
Now I can understand how my father reacts
He’s like Jerry West in this regard, he faced terrible things
It’s hard for him to express his love feelings
It is so hard for me to listen to this man because I identify so strongly with his assessment of his childhood as well as they way that he perceives life. I read his book "West On West" several years ago and I was blown away by the honesty and the insight. I can see why the "LOGO" is so highly regarded, respected, and successful. What an honor it must be to have the opportunity to interview someone so worthwhile.
The Lakers were snake bitten when they played the Celtics in the finals so mant times. They deserved better. BUT having said that it is the whole interview that is a stunner. Wow Jerry, you are awesome!
I don’t know anything about Jerry West’s personal life other than what I learned from this interview!!! Mr. West is a very successful league executive and has been so for several decades!!! Thanks so much for sharing this!!! ☮️🖖🏽
14 hours in a coal mine. Still poor as dirt. Jerry was right - it's traumatic to have dreams yet end up working yourself to the bone for basic survival. Not condoning whatever it was that happened, but my father told me the same thing about my grandfather. A lot of young men back then had dreams and ended up working terrible jobs for decades.
Wow. Jerry is the first person I have heard say that other than me. I waited until I was absolutely certain my dad was in bed before I would go home.
Seems like a lot of Americans had issues with this in that era. Lyle Alzado went through absolute hell with his alcoholic father.
This is a really fantastic interview. Jerry West talks with such candor on such a personal topic. You really have an ability to get your guests to open up in a way you wouldn't expect! Well done!
I respect the man even more now!
its a shame to think no nba player will end up like this man has in his elder years. we all have it so easy
I learned as a little boy that i had to put my life like a house one area is fun the other is time to brace for difficulty so i get you Jerry
Most people succeed because of their dad. Jerry West succeeded despite him.
But in a way he did succeed because of him too, because it made him physically and mentally strong, and it made him work on his basketball game as he wanted to stay away from home.
What a story of triumph. To turn sadness, neglect and hatred to success, hope and victory. I thinks thats the real reason he’s named “Mr. Clutch”.
The Logo, what can you say? A legend. I agree with Jerry when he says "'I love you' is thrown around too much." Jerry is arguably one of the greatest players ever, no doubt. Jerry and his late brother Elgin were the greatest duo ever. Both guys had all the skills, consummate, well-rounded players who could do everything well. My first NBA game in Cleveland before the Cavs, Lakers versus Royals. I saw West, Baylor and Wilt. And it was cool.
I feel him 100%🙏🙏
Graham really does a great job at interviewing!
Thanks for the kind words! Make sure you're subscribed, we've got some great interviews coming up. -AD
graham's interview skills are 💯!
Legend!!
I love Jerry West.
I have the same issue saying I love you. It started when I was about 15 I think....maybe a little earlier. People that just throw that word around, don't quite understand that there are people like Jerry West and me, and millions of others, who for some reason, reach a roadblock with that word. Notice how Jerry says that his wife and children knows how much he cares about them. Those are the words of a damaged person, one who cannot even say.....they know how much I love them. It is complicated, and not understood by a lot of people, but saying I love you is very complicated for a whole lot of people.
Mr. West: much respect sir.
Wow. A painfully moving interview. Kudos to Graham and the Logo.
Thank you so much for watching. -AD
Its very intellectual and honest to hear him say that he was part of the reason for the abuse. He was defiant and didn't want to eat the same thing 5 days in a row which probably caused more stress for his parents. Its better to evaluate your own actions as well instead of saying the other person is always wrong, even if you are right, you have to understand the other persons feelings( and perspective ) as well.
the harsh capitalism that negatively impacted jerry's psycho-emotional development (his dad's long and grueling hours at work and poor education) is also the crucible in which he developed into a basketball player that made him rich and redeemed his early suffering. unfortunately it doesnt always, or even usually, work out that way for most people.
The difference between his time and now is this stuff would’ve come up during his pro basketball career instead of after. If an individual chooses to reveal aspects of his private life in a biography or in an interview like this after all is in the past it seems more respectful. Today everything is exposed and in the public’s eye during the course of one’s career. That has to be so stressful, even more than the stress associated with going through an adverse situation.
I understand that you're saying Jerry. I am not an emotional guy either and i don't say i love you either. My family and friends kno i love them.
Jerry West became a great man (not just a great basketball player) despite having the life he did growing up.
I know many of you can't read, but if someone could read his autobiography to you, you'll see he is a tortured man.
He's a great man, but a tortured soul that could never truly be happy fen with all his professional accomplishments.
I wasn't aware of this childhood abuse issue about Jerry West, but have long admired him and known how competitive and driven he was in everything and how nothing satisfied him. It is similar to the story of the recently deceased rock star Tom Petty - abused by his father, highly driven to be successful, prone to depression, etc. It seems a lot of men who were abused physically and/or emotionally by their father spend the rest of their lives trying to prove them wrong.
This might sound strange, but being happy was not a common expectation in that time and place. Happiness is a modern luxury. If you had work and could provide for your family, and your kids survived to adulthood and did OK on their own, that was a blessed life. But most people didn't have cause to expect that.
I think I've told my father I love you maybe 5 times throughout my life and vice versa. I agree the word is overly used.
2:55 center picture frame, someones face appears in the picture.
That is wild. The picture moves and the silhouette of a person's head appears. Was it Gerry's father coming back from the grave to whoop some ass??
yoo that's his dad wtf
Someone in the backgrounds reflection.
I most definitely seen it
Mad respect for Mr Clutch!
He a real human
I love J West man
One of the finest men ever to play in the NBA. Intelligence and class
That explains a lot. The new HBO show about the Lakers it shows that Jerry West was a very angry individual. He was not shown love by his father and this has an enormous negative effect on children.
Note that the show is very fictionalized for viewer purposes. I strongly doubt Jerry West acted like that he has too much respect from his peers
Is it just me, or is there a reflection of a guy that just randomly appears in the middle picture on the wall at 2:55? 👀
Yeah… you still need to hear from the old man, it’s not easy being son.
Who would have thought that about the great Jerry West?
I knew Jerry had had some emotional problems, which he has alluded to. If you watched ESPN Sports Century around 1999, and saw the Jerry West piece, you saw how West Virginia tough Jerry was. Mr. West is very sophisticated, but he had a lot of Zeke in him.
This guy smiles too much when asking questions that are not funny
It's hard not to like Jerry West. I'm not a fan of interviewers bringing this stuff up though.
Why not? It’s life. Life isn’t all about good and people have to accept the bullshit it comes with. Jerry talking about this might help some people
Umm....because the questions are about his family. What's the motivation of the interviewer? Did Jerry West know beforehand that he was going to get asked these questions on camera?
Tehui if Jerry did want to talk about it this section of the interview wouldn’t have happened
🤡🤡🤡
Jerry's first wife, Martha Kane: "After a big loss, the Wests would drive home and she would try to console him, but West would say "get out" at the home porch and drive away-an experience that "killed" her as a wife." ........lolz
Did he just say his father was brilliant, and the interviewer don follow up?
Respect to Jerry for sharing.
PS: His mom looks just like Jerry in drag
The farther we go back the more we see heavy handed men. Its that simple.
Respectfully... I am getting tired that we can only openly discuss abuse by men and fathers. I would feel a sense of validation if just once it was discussed how destructive a woman and mother can be. We want men to be strong yet if we say that our mother or wife made our life and that of everyone in the household a living hell we're deemed to not have fully matured. I guarantee that the majority of men and boys with issues have many stories like this to tell. But that wouldn't be politically incorrect.
I argue it's more destructive than a dysfunctional father figure, but saying that exposes to people thinking you have "mommy issues"
@@dr.aisaitl7439 What can I say... People wonder what makes some men have such hatred for women that they will hunt them down and rape and kill them. My mother and I get along considerably better but her expressing such contempt for motherhood had an effect on me and my siblings. Mommy issues or not, the end result is its effect on society at large.
But had ZERO problem telling Kobe he loved him Js
You made the NBA because of your fathers toughness he instilled in you
Aside from being a hard worker, his father sounds like nothing except a jackass....
Was he a molester of his foster children?...I seen an interview on it
The new logo should go to Jordan. Kareem is worthy, but he hasn't played in this century.
Nissan TitanWarrior I don't think so Jordans already got his brand and logo everywhere. Besides LeBron is the GOAT
Jerry doesn’t get paid for the logo. No player will be the logo without getting paid. No player wants to be the logo and neither does Jerry
Jerry had so much to do with building the league, particularly on the West Coast, that West as logo is appropriate. And Jerry was so elegant. There was talk of Kobe succeeding him, which might be seemly given Jerry had so much to do with Kobe's success.
A lot of these personal questions are cringe worthy.
it's good to talk abou things he old too
Tehui1974 its in his book stupid. He is just asked to elaborate further.
Go fuck yourself.
You don't want to hear the truth, but he put that in his book.
There was no need to insult him. The vast majority of people don't know what's in Jerry West's book.
Lester
terrible interviewer
That man needs to allow CHRIST in his life. JESUS Loves you!!! So sad for the Logo of the NBA to die and go to Hell!!! Christians Please Pray for Jerry West!!!!
He seems a rational man. He will be fine.
I don't think he needs an imaginary friend. I haven't had one since I was about 6 years old and I've been fine.
Nice
What a ridiculous thing to say about a wonderful man! Leave your bible thumping to yourself
You're sending people to Hell? Do you have a permit for that?
West was vastly overrated. Walt Frazier used to dominate this fool