I stay at home constantly right now (am pregnant and jobless, thanks Corona) and my dog could care less about me most of the time, but as soon as my fiance gets home from work it's literally this dog's diary. Stares, follows at a distance of 1.5 feet, won't leave him alone ever. I feel so unloved sometimes xD. He even sleeps in our bed most nights, and I'm not kidding, this dog sleeps BETWEEN us. I am a firm believer that he's tryin' to steal my man. But he won't. LOL. It'll be interesting when the baby's here to see his reaction to that. lol
Bizarre how the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear "mask" is still a full on face-mask, like a halloween mask. I rarely ever think of surgical masks as masks. I think I'm having a stroke.
I love to this day how he makes the distinction between the dog and cat diary entries. The cat calls his owners “the authorities” while the dog referred to them as “my dearest human”
Not all dogs are stuck inside, some people will ask for pet sitters to ensure they aren't bored or out of their minds wanting their owners to come back for hours on end and to play / care for them until then or in daycare where they play with both other dogs and the staff.
yesssss. Thank you. Watched it twice and headed to the comments for the answer. I’m like, “he described the toilet. What are the tubes of endless joy?” Now I’ll wallow in my shame as my cats greatly love said tubes and they are visibly judging me for missing it.
That part at the end where you thank essential workers for keeping you warm us the first time I've ever heard a reference to my trade (heating and cooling) and trades in general. Everyone seems to skip over that we're still working so thank you for that. That was nice :)
"Smelly babies" "My tiny beach" "GIANT water bowl" " *Spiner* *of* *happiness* " " *THE* *TUBES* *OF* *ENDLESS* *JOY* " " *THE* *AUTHORITIES* " Of course the cat is a mafia boss who thinks hes in a prison and the dog is young me waiting for my parents to come home. If only quarentine had happened at those times ..
my puppy would rather walk directly in front of me at a distance of 1 to 1 and a half feet, while looking back at me every few seconds to make sure I'm still following him
Dogs watch you in the bathroom as you are part of their pack. And in the wild, they watch their pack as they are pooping (thus vulnerable) to ensure safety. NEVER scold your dog for protecting you.
Zefrank...you are welcome...I am a nurse and the past few weeks have not been fun and your videos are a gold mine that I can watch and laugh and get that giddy endorphin rush so thank YOU for what these videos bring me!
Aww, now I feel bad for the dogs when we stop isolating. Dog: Dear Diary it would seem it was too good to be true. The heaven I shared with my dearest humans crumbles before my eyes as they have once again begun leaving me. I do not know if this was the hand played by some twisted higher power punishing me for my greed but I do know that I will now proceed to rip apart a pillow for comfort before taking a nap, dreaming of the return of the paradise we shared....and then pee on the bed.
"...I will, of course, excitedly drop the pillow at his feet when he returns for, surely as I know the smell of his crotch, I know he hated that pillow. I am, as ever, his faithful servant and friend."
Look, I've been wearing the same n95 for a week, dealing with sick AF patients for 12 hour shifts for days on end. You supply my food on busy days - you're absolutely essential. Wish all of us got paid like essential workers though.
0:24 as we can see here, a member of the fish species Carassius auratus, that has been named Robert by humans that now keep it in a glass box containing gravel and various plants, has begun his inevitable metamorphosis into a My Singing Monsters character. Nature is beautiful.
"My smelly babies" Oh god, that reminds me of a particularly stupid cat that used to own me. After her second litter of kittens, she would sprint away from the litterbox and refuse to go near it till it had been cleaned out. We always suspected she was afraid she had had kittens again. We loved that cat but damn she was dumb.
Titina de Cassovia, In your rush to try and explain the obvious you spectacularly missed that Vie knew it all along. You were the one who misunderstood what Vie was saying. 👀
@@atlantic2233 This is the same cat that once forgot she needed to open her mouth to eat and stuffed her face into her food. We spent an hour cleaning catfood out of her nose. She was not happy.
It was a wet night, like always. There was a knock on the door so I said, "Come in" A sultry voice came back. "I can't come in. I'm a *clam* and I don't have legs." I felt my instincts tingle. "Well, then how did you knock?" "With my tongue." She said. Call me a sucker, but right then I knew I'd take the case... *End of Preview*
I think my guinea pigs are handling it well. But I do think they're gonna think my schedule is weird once things get back to normal. What if they think I'm just being mean tho? 😭💔
Josh Rumrill : I'm sorry to be that guy, but no body wants this to be forever. You can game all day, that's definitely heaven. Being quarantine sucks. having to worry about your elderly parent, that doesnt live with you, sucks. But having my dog beside me does lessen my anxiety and worries about this situation.
I want more of that shrimps novel. Dear god, I have never gotten more then 7 likes. What is this. What has happened to this comment? Thanks for all the likes.
I died when the shrimp started typing his dark noir novel... omg I had to pause the video cuz I was laughing so hard. Those clickety-clack sounds of a typewriter! So perfect! Omg I just can’t. 😂 🍤 📚
The cat's trauma is noble and true. Sometimes, in horrifying situations, one must bury deep the burdens of hope and love, lest they too be taken away by the authorities...sniff*, *weeping noises
"They are thieves, and are most likely responsible for stealing my smelly babies that I bury in my tiny beach for safekeeping." This man is going to kill me with suffocating laughter one day. Damn you, Ze. DAMN YOU! 🤣
When you cut down one's name for size, what happens to the other half? Does it become it's own bein- hold up what are you doing? WAIT STO- **FILTHY FRANKU IS BORN**
he almost did kill me once. I was showing my wide "sad dog diary" and foolishly tried to take a drink of water right before "poop candy with pee flavored sprinkles". I inhaled a bit of water. my body successfully kept it out of my lungs but I couldn't cough it back up because I had no air in my lungs (inhaling after all) and I couldn't inhale because there was water sitting in the way. I had several seconds where I was worried that I would suffocate and then I realized that if I could get the water to the side I could breath past it and then cough it out. However, I didn't want to cough the water out on the carpet. I wound up going down onto my hands and knees in the kitchen (which was nearby) and coughing my lungs out. It was scary and sucked but thankfully I didn't panic and was able to self rescue.
My doggies have not stopped playing in about an hour and a half. They don't need to be behind us for us to know where they are. They charge around the table at top speed, and one of them is a pug. You can hear her snuffling from another room.
I am so pleased, reading words of your author regarding the setting's wetness... Sultry... My tale began..."It was a sultry night in old New Orleans, looking over Jackson Square", and Signore Ze Frank gracias for a lift of my spirit , daily Mucho Graciasy Pura Vida
@@user1.8.2. My dog was fucking sneaky. She'd sleep on the couch and wait for everyone to go to bed, then she'd open cabinets and drawers trying to find food. First time it happened there was a mess of wrappers and trash everywhere, didn't even suspect the dog since she's never done it before. Next time I wake up and hear a bunch of noise, I was sure someone broke in. Nope, just my dog opening a goddamn kitchen drawer. lmao
OMG ZEFRANK you’re back! My son and I used to watch all your videos, repeatedly, years ago and then you disappeared. I can’t believe I stumbled on your new post....welcome back and sooooooo thankful for your awesome videos and your return...the world needs your humour more than ever. Be well and stay safe 👏🐡💛
Cat: managed to fill his litle litterbox again with stinky babies Owner: cleans and refills it with clean litter Cat: why are we still here, just to suffer 😿
@@Toxondomo it plays into the joke. The cat was all depressed. Based on the music, I thought the dog was going to regret finally getting his dream come true. But to my surprise, the dog was happy. If the music had turned happy from the start of the dog section, it wouldn't have been as funny.
Tubes of endless joy.....I had to sprint to the end of the aisle just to snatch the last pack from the grasp of a little old lady and my cat Squirt treats it as a toy!
"Alright here we go Bob for 15 ounces, are you ready?" "For our 1st question, what is your name?" ...tik tok tik tok tik tok tik tok...it's the easiest question.... Methinks Bob has already been on Cheech and Chong's Let's Make A Dope Deal. 😁🤣😂
Honestly, your work is brilliant! Your humor is so spot on, I can't breathe during some of your segments, it's so freakin' hilarious and unique. Love from Canada.
Zefrank, it's videos like yours that make the isolation just a little endurable, so thank you for your contributions to us who are isolated from the world. Bob.
Bobs story is a true one, in a way. Animals, humans included, can and will go mad from boredom and a lack of space. And not always in a big way. It can be little things, odd neurotic behaviors that they develop one after the other in order to keep themselves from slipping further.
I had a cat that was previously feral and I loved him so much, I miss the heck out of that cat, out of all the cats I’ve had over the years when I lost him it really hurt. Anyway he was a polydactyl with the most perfectly formed digits, so his paws were basically hands with functional thumbs and he could open doors, drawers, cabinets etc. He also hated being forced to stay indoors, I do live in a rural area that is very much still open country and there is quite a bit of wildlife around. One of the only things I wasn’t able to ‘break’ was the fact that he wouldn’t use a litter box, he knew what it was used for and he didn’t potty on the floors or in the house, but he would hold it until he was outside to relieve himself, to the point he made himself sick. If you didn’t let him out or made him mad he would find and destroy every roll of toilet paper, box of tissues and napkins in the house. We had to buy locks for the cabinets that they were stored in, and we would also had to watch Rascal whenever we ourselves used the restroom, he would either follow us in or open the door and come in behind us, waiting acting like a loving happy kitty and when you were ready to cleanup, he’d attack the toilet paper and keep it from you, displaying total dominance. I miss that butt-head. He was a very loving cat as well, but only at 3 am, 😁🖤. Sorry for the long post, the TP part made me think of my Rascal ✌️.
Miss Lissy What special memories you have! If you're up to it call a nearby shelter and offer to foster a kitty (and/or possibly adopt one). You sound like a very loving cat person.
@@justchillinout2002 My brother had a pet racoon he got as a baby when its mother was hit by a car. Cute as heck, but NOT toilet trainable- durn thing sh*t everyplace in the house.
You're as funny as hell ... and you have a big heart. The dog part got me right in the feels. Also the shout out at the end ... Nicely done. As always.
These pets struggling with isolation and my trap door spider is just like “wait, there’s an outside world? Heh, why does it matter I’m a living like a sarlacc yo”
My cat has only gotten needier. She would complain when I left before all of this. Now, I barely ever leave, and she acts all dramatic and pathetic the few times I do. 🙄😹❤️
Shrimp Noir: A Novel; Chapter 2. "A Kriller on The Loose"
Underrated
You magnificent bastard.
This is too good
Are you gonna publish this
It was a wet night, like always.
Who else wants a sequel for the shrimp.
I just want a 10 hour video of the adventures of Bob
Yes
I'm already hooked. I have to know what the case is!
I came here looking for this comment 🤣
Shrilock Holmes
The dog's diary entry was so wholesome.
And it is true... Out of all jokes here- this one is almost 100% truth
"Dearest Human" makes me tear up every time
I miss my dog so much😭
I stay at home constantly right now (am pregnant and jobless, thanks Corona) and my dog could care less about me most of the time, but as soon as my fiance gets home from work it's literally this dog's diary. Stares, follows at a distance of 1.5 feet, won't leave him alone ever. I feel so unloved sometimes xD. He even sleeps in our bed most nights, and I'm not kidding, this dog sleeps BETWEEN us. I am a firm believer that he's tryin' to steal my man. But he won't. LOL. It'll be interesting when the baby's here to see his reaction to that. lol
Ok, but now take out the dog and replace it with a human being.
Viola, you get a creepy psychopatic stalker.
"Tubes of endless joy" - toilet paper!!
I had to rewatch.
Thank you for clearing that up. I didnt get it! Then I tried figuring out what vulgarity could match with what tube...
Gardener48 ohhhh thats what they are
I totally thought it was a sock
Lol thank you, I was feeling lost confused and hoped the comments would help me out.
I want a continuation on the shrimp's novel.
The next great literary trilogy!
It's not even finished yet and it already has crappy fanfics of it being made into movies.
@@darwinxavier3516 ROFL!!!!
Yes, please.
Saaaammmmmeeeee
Upset that the shrimp’s novel has a better opening than mine.
"It was a wet night, like always." - I laughed so hard at that😂. Shrimp's are funny.
I took a deep breath of oxygen and nitrogen. Like always...
I wanted to thumbs up this, but I love that you're at 777 likes! 😅
achanwahn The moment has passed. Go ahead and give it a like. :)
Same. I'LL FIX IT IN EDITING!
“When they leave, they do so in disguise.” MASKS! This is genius.
Yep. I missed that one. Thanks.
bob bob bobb
no shit
Preach
Bizarre how the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear "mask" is still a full on face-mask, like a halloween mask. I rarely ever think of surgical masks as masks. I think I'm having a stroke.
Shrimp Noir: “Dressed to Krill”
Take my thumbs up and get the hell out...
Underrated comment
Much better than his Civil War period piece: "Prawn with the Wind".
@@JoeSyxpack DAMN IT!!! YOU TOO!!! Take my Thumbs up and GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE...
Don't judge bob. Bob has had a rough time, he's seen things. Bob is trying his best.
Bob been through a lot 😪
Stop Corvus, you're hurtin' me :-D
For real 😁
Bob
Bob has seen things past the void and has almost shifted to the backrooms.
We: human
Cat: The Authority
Dog: My Dearest Human
Fish: Oh other people.
Fish: Bob.
I wanted to see more dogs reacting to this
Hotel: Trivago
Reasons why I’m a dog person 😭🥴
Love the cat calling humans “Authorities”
Cats are AnCaps confirmed😅
I love to this day how he makes the distinction between the dog and cat diary entries. The cat calls his owners “the authorities” while the dog referred to them as “my dearest human”
"It was a wet night.. like always" I love stupid jokes like this!
Dad Jokes lmao
Ditto!! 🤣🤣
How did you knock? With my tongue of course 🤣🤣🤣
We are kindred stupid spirits XD
It's actually clever jokes that go over your head
I’ve missed the sad cat diaries and the moment I heard “the authorities” I got so happy.
Same. The whole video is great, but I was super excited for new entries in the sad cat diaries.
I still cannot understand what the tubes of happiness are.
@@gkarak1996 It's the toilet.
@@gkarak1996, toilet paper rolls. Like, how cats love to unravel them and tear the paper to pieces.
g.karak 1996 TP rolls.
Who else wants a copy of Detective Shrimp's novel?
King Ramsey I have my own fiction on my channel and shrimp get more attention
maybe if he goes on the beach he can team up with Sand Spade or Philly Marlin?
As a fish tank hobbyist who has freshwater cherry shrimp i can say with accuracy that they do indeed love to write novels.
I think of mine as playing syncopated jazz.
"Like Tik Tok in purgatory."
No, I believe that is hell
Being stuck in the first circle of hell
Tik Tok IS Hell
Bluechair pfp yes
First off: Spot On.
second off: If we do not get that entire book by S. H. Rimp, I will end it all.
Hahahahaha nice
Cthulhu would like a copy
Its pretty amazing what he did. It is really spot on on how animals would express their thoughts as an external voice. Calming and very relatable.
Omg right!?
Ikr
Honestly, I could, without doubt, say that his voice is just as soothing as Morgan Freeman.
Probably less rapey too
He does one ABOUT Morgan Freeman. It's a simulation within a simulation...
I dare say it's better then Morgan Freeman's.
What about Morgan Freeman sounds rapey? Did i miss something?
I wonder if he earns a freckle every time he narrates a video.
I feel so bad for all the dogs in the universe once quarantine is over.
Not all dogs are stuck inside, some people will ask for pet sitters to ensure they aren't bored or out of their minds wanting their owners to come back for hours on end and to play / care for them until then or in daycare where they play with both other dogs and the staff.
Especially the dogs that the government secretly launched to the little dipper. Gotta include all of the dogs in the universe, apparently.
My dog litteraly lost its shit when my sis went on a walk with the other one.
Cats too...my cats are so happy...
you mean if it ends.
I think I speak for everyone: We need more of that shrimp’s novel. Make it a series!
Yes!
Please!
I concur most emphatically. We need much more of that.
This... Thank you!
She better not turn out to be a clam digger.
Arthur shrimp stories.
*THE TUBE OF ENDLESS JOY IS TOILET PAPER* why did I rewind it 4 times before I realized that
I couldn't figure it out either
Yesica1993 - me neither! Thanks, but I’ll probably watch 4 more times anyway 😀
Thank you dear angel 😇
I thought it was a cat water fountain at first but it didn't fully make sense. xD
yesssss. Thank you. Watched it twice and headed to the comments for the answer. I’m like, “he described the toilet. What are the tubes of endless joy?” Now I’ll wallow in my shame as my cats greatly love said tubes and they are visibly judging me for missing it.
That part at the end where you thank essential workers for keeping you warm us the first time I've ever heard a reference to my trade (heating and cooling) and trades in general. Everyone seems to skip over that we're still working so thank you for that. That was nice :)
That cat looks like he's perpetually peaking on molly.
Scottish fold...I have one look to your left.
They are gentle weirdos who are perpetually peaking on SOMEthing...
@@user1.8.2. everyone see that video where a cat eats a marijuana plant, and the next scene its pupils are completely dilated and its tripping?
😬
@@user1.8.2. that’s awesome. #CatnipComedown
God is a cat.On the 6th day he created catnip and some other stuff.
On the 7th day he 'rested'.
That shrimp keyboard stroke sound is absoluetly perfection.
Beezle um excuse me, but did you know that shrimps and prawns are the same damn thing?
Shrimp are more socially involved while the internet is for prawn (for prawn). The internet is for prawn (yes prawn).
Made me lmfao way too much! 🤣🤣🤣
My favorite part!😂
A shrimp novel, I’m not demeaning a book, it’s literally a shrimp novel.
I don't think you know de-meaning of that word
my hitta but you just replied in another comment with a link about tips on avoiding the Coronavirus...
@@idekanymore8361 Can we all just pile on and hitta my hitta? I'm sick of all this idiot spam.
@@quimblyjones9767 Wait does it actually have one? Because if so I've been meaning to find it
I am the 1,000th like
"Smelly babies"
"My tiny beach"
"GIANT water bowl"
" *Spiner* *of* *happiness* "
" *THE* *TUBES* *OF* *ENDLESS* *JOY* "
" *THE* *AUTHORITIES* "
Of course the cat is a mafia boss who thinks hes in a prison and the dog is young me waiting for my parents to come home. If only quarentine had happened at those times ..
I was about to say, "Dogs? I bet they're LOVING quarantine."
I knew it.
"Call me a sucker, but right then I knew I'd take the case."
Ovskii This is the comment we have been looking for.
well call me a Shucker! That is one tasty case.
It was a wet night, like always...
😂😂
"I follow close behind at a distance of 1 to 1 and a half feet"
Accurate.
Heal
"lest he ever fall"
my dog walks behind me with its nose almost between my legs.. not sure if that counts as any distance.. or even negative distance D:
my puppy would rather walk directly in front of me at a distance of 1 to 1 and a half feet, while looking back at me every few seconds to make sure I'm still following him
Six bloody inches for a Bull Terrier 😂😂😍🤗
The shrimp: "call me a sucker but right then I knew I'd take the case" His claws were just typing 🤣😅😆😂
I could listen cats and dogs diaries for hours, those were so good.
"It was a wet night, like always"
Underrated line
It took me a while to realize the "tubes of endless joy" were toilet paper rolls! ^w^;
Thanm you! i was trying to think of what they were lol
Oh thank god, that was driving me nuts and my mind was not going to good places trying to figure it out.
I thought he was talking about meat tubes oh my goodness it makes sense now 😂😂😂
Thanks. My mind went to way weirder places.
Lol I came into the comments for this very reason 😂 ty
My dog literally walks under my feet and won’t leave me alone for two seconds. This is too accurate lol
Dogs watch you in the bathroom as you are part of their pack. And in the wild, they watch their pack as they are pooping (thus vulnerable) to ensure safety.
NEVER scold your dog for protecting you.
"Stealing my smelly babies that a bury in my tiny beach" is without a doubt the funniest thing I've heard all week 😆
i came to the comments to see if anyone else found that part hilarious lol
It was poetic, it brought tears of the happy sort to my eyes 😂
My cat calls his box "the zen garden"
😹😹😹
Y E S .
The dang authorities, trying to get us all...
Yeah... but what are the "tubes of endless joy"? As a foreigner cat myself, I am unfamiliar with this American phrase.
@@Triumvirate888 Toilet paper rolls, hence why the cat refuses to say what The Authorities were doing with it. 😹
@@Triumvirate888 th-cam.com/video/pM8RT5DwGsw/w-d-xo.html
Damn it, I fucking read *Dangi* instead of 'Angi' or 'dang'.
Months later and we are still here. Dogs wish is coming true
Zefrank...you are welcome...I am a nurse and the past few weeks have not been fun and your videos are a gold mine that I can watch and laugh and get that giddy endorphin rush so thank YOU for what these videos bring me!
The shrimp typing, I'll never not see that when I look at a shrimp again.
That was it. I lost it there.
I didn't see him typing. I see him writing beautiful calligraphy with his antennae.
Aww, now I feel bad for the dogs when we stop isolating.
Dog: Dear Diary it would seem it was too good to be true. The heaven I shared with my dearest humans crumbles before my eyes as they have once again begun leaving me. I do not know if this was the hand played by some twisted higher power punishing me for my greed but I do know that I will now proceed to rip apart a pillow for comfort before taking a nap, dreaming of the return of the paradise we shared....and then pee on the bed.
Am I the only one who read this in his voice?
Fishbiene lol nope, three words in and it morphed into his voice in my head lol
"...I will, of course, excitedly drop the pillow at his feet when he returns for, surely as I know the smell of his crotch, I know he hated that pillow. I am, as ever, his faithful servant and friend."
If that makes you feel bad, *do not* read "His Apologies" by Rudyard Kipling.
@@Fishbiene nope🙃
the doggo part was beautiful. Though I'm still stuck with a question, do us in fast food who are stuck working count as front lines lol.
And cannabis delivery, too 🙃
Yes, it's always been important, capitalists just don't pay you like it.
brainkill I agree but why the politics
@@uuurettererreeeer I worked in the food service industry for a decade. just telling the truth.
Look, I've been wearing the same n95 for a week, dealing with sick AF patients for 12 hour shifts for days on end. You supply my food on busy days - you're absolutely essential. Wish all of us got paid like essential workers though.
0:24 as we can see here, a member of the fish species Carassius auratus, that has been named Robert by humans that now keep it in a glass box containing gravel and various plants, has begun his inevitable metamorphosis into a My Singing Monsters character. Nature is beautiful.
You know, it's days like this that I really do feel like "Bob" :/
Imagine if you name, is in fact, Bob.
Bob
Bob
Bob
BOB!!!!!
bob bob bob.
"My smelly babies"
Oh god, that reminds me of a particularly stupid cat that used to own me. After her second litter of kittens, she would sprint away from the litterbox and refuse to go near it till it had been cleaned out. We always suspected she was afraid she had had kittens again.
We loved that cat but damn she was dumb.
She sure did own you; she taught you to constantly clean her litter box. Actually she was a VERY SMART CAT!😻
@@Martina-Kosicanka "she would sprint away from the litterbox" sounds like they already knew that it was turds and not actual kittens mate
Titina de Cassovia, In your rush to try and explain the obvious you spectacularly missed that Vie knew it all along. You were the one who misunderstood what Vie was saying. 👀
@@caroltomko9261 shit happens
@@atlantic2233 This is the same cat that once forgot she needed to open her mouth to eat and stuffed her face into her food.
We spent an hour cleaning catfood out of her nose.
She was not happy.
When the fish said 'Kaylee!' I immediately thought I'd done something wrong.
You got out of your allotted coral spot, get back to that coral this instant!
"the authorities have put me under constant surveillance" true for the cat and for society
It was a wet night, like always. There was a knock on the door so I said,
"Come in" A sultry voice came back.
"I can't come in. I'm a *clam* and I don't have legs."
I felt my instincts tingle. "Well, then how did you knock?"
"With my tongue." She said. Call me a sucker, but right then I knew I'd take the case...
*End of Preview*
beautiful
Roy G Biv because of its brilliance, spaz boi
@Roy G Biv it was a preview.
Technically that's the clam's foot.
@Roy G Biv why moron like you have to be so bitter?
Dog: ",and I pray that it stays like this forever."
Gamers: "So do I little buddy, so do I..."
I think my guinea pigs are handling it well.
But I do think they're gonna think my schedule is weird once things get back to normal. What if they think I'm just being mean tho? 😭💔
Ficwriters: samesies!
Oh, how i laughed... !
Josh Rumrill : I'm sorry to be that guy, but no body wants this to be forever. You can game all day, that's definitely heaven.
Being quarantine sucks. having to worry about your elderly parent, that doesnt live with you, sucks. But having my dog beside me does lessen my anxiety and worries about this situation.
Im a gamer with a dog, i think we are thinking the exact same thing right now😂
“Bob lost his dam mind”
Me: me to...
if he butted against the fish tank and the fish tank broke would you say "Bob lost his dam..."
these are very beautifully written and amazingly edited
thank you for being a top tier creator
I love "The Authorities" in the cat diary and "Dearest Human" in the dog diary - sounds about right.
My cats probably think of me as “warm bag of flesh”, but I call them stinky goblins so I think I’d call it even
@Julia Milford Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
I want more of that shrimps novel.
Dear god, I have never gotten more then 7 likes. What is this. What has happened to this comment? Thanks for all the likes.
I want that cat's diary.
IKR, just when it was getting good
Nunovia Gottdamnedbizzness ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 👏🏼
I'd buy it
Call me a sucker but I knew I'd buy it then
This gave my family more happiness than a hundred tubes of endless joy. Please make a sequel!
I died when the shrimp started typing his dark noir novel... omg I had to pause the video cuz I was laughing so hard. Those clickety-clack sounds of a typewriter! So perfect! Omg I just can’t. 😂 🍤 📚
I lost it when the shrimp started to type XD
Rick_Steel that was the best 😂
Rick_Steel That was just too dam funny 😆
cats: see us as an authoritarian government that takes pleasure in ruining their joy
dogs: fren
watch diary of a sad cat/dog
vargFren
Hey, the cats are the ones apparently playing with our plastic diddling devices.
@@nickmagrick7702 It's one of my mom's favorite videos
@@shadowdroid776 good, good
The cat's trauma is noble and true. Sometimes, in horrifying situations, one must bury deep the burdens of hope and love, lest they too be taken away by the authorities...sniff*, *weeping noises
Really great use of "This too shall pass" at the end. Thanks for that.
"They are thieves, and are most likely responsible for stealing my smelly babies that I bury in my tiny beach for safekeeping."
This man is going to kill me with suffocating laughter one day. Damn you, Ze. DAMN YOU! 🤣
When you cut down one's name for size, what happens to the other half? Does it become it's own bein- hold up what are you doing? WAIT STO- **FILTHY FRANKU IS BORN**
he almost did kill me once. I was showing my wide "sad dog diary" and foolishly tried to take a drink of water right before "poop candy with pee flavored sprinkles". I inhaled a bit of water. my body successfully kept it out of my lungs but I couldn't cough it back up because I had no air in my lungs (inhaling after all) and I couldn't inhale because there was water sitting in the way. I had several seconds where I was worried that I would suffocate and then I realized that if I could get the water to the side I could breath past it and then cough it out. However, I didn't want to cough the water out on the carpet. I wound up going down onto my hands and knees in the kitchen (which was nearby) and coughing my lungs out. It was scary and sucked but thankfully I didn't panic and was able to self rescue.
@@gildedbear5355 cause of death: comedy drowning
GildedBear bahahaha😂
What is a tube of endless joy?
During the dog isolation part I heard a familiar jingling about a foot and a half behind me.
did it come red nose and extra long shoes?
My doggies have not stopped playing in about an hour and a half. They don't need to be behind us for us to know where they are. They charge around the table at top speed, and one of them is a pug. You can hear her snuffling from another room.
@@camerondon3712 I fear you missed the joke entirely :D
@Moreththerogue
....but you never had a dog. Whatever that noise is, I think you're in danger.
190th like
I am so pleased, reading words of your author regarding the setting's wetness... Sultry...
My tale began..."It was a sultry night in old New Orleans, looking over Jackson Square",
and Signore Ze Frank gracias
for a lift of my spirit , daily Mucho Graciasy Pura Vida
It would’ve been more hilarious if the cat started to realize “Maybe I’M the pet! 🙀”
I lost it when the shrimp started typing. 🤣
That was probably the best part. And then it turned into every cheesy crime novel
It has ten feet, that fits nicely.
I lost it at, "call me a sucker, but I knew right then that I'd take the case" funniest thing I've heard in a while.
I don't get it
My dog passed away just a month before isolation started here... He'd have been so happy to have constant company...
😭 rip
The dog one just reminds me of a stalker.
Before anyone says "Dogs just love you so much, thats why!".
Yeah.. so does the stalker..
The dog is actually Joe from You. lol
“Or following behind him at a distance of one and half feet, lest he ever fall” that is so incredibly endearing
'Lest he ever drop an oreo on the floor....'
@@user1.8.2. My dog was fucking sneaky. She'd sleep on the couch and wait for everyone to go to bed, then she'd open cabinets and drawers trying to find food. First time it happened there was a mess of wrappers and trash everywhere, didn't even suspect the dog since she's never done it before. Next time I wake up and hear a bunch of noise, I was sure someone broke in. Nope, just my dog opening a goddamn kitchen drawer. lmao
The shrimp typing is genius
OMG ZEFRANK you’re back! My son and I used to watch all your videos, repeatedly, years ago and then you disappeared. I can’t believe I stumbled on your new post....welcome back and sooooooo thankful for your awesome videos and your return...the world needs your humour more than ever. Be well and stay safe 👏🐡💛
Cat: managed to fill his litle litterbox again with stinky babies
Owner: cleans and refills it with clean litter
Cat: why are we still here, just to suffer 😿
TheYamR6Sp my kitten puts his stinky babies on the damn floor when he runs out of room, and I’m at work so I can’t clean it before he does!! XD
I thought he was referring to mice.... only now i just got the joke 😂
th-cam.com/video/XcjhFK0oD9A/w-d-xo.html
Yeah lmao check this out th-cam.com/video/TV2cBcRy438/w-d-xo.html
Stinky babies xD
That dog at the end is one of the best things that I've ever seen I feel like that's the actual dialogue that a dog would have
thebiggun 666 I cried
Why did he have to put sad music under it 🥺
Ze speaks dog
@@Toxondomo it plays into the joke. The cat was all depressed. Based on the music, I thought the dog was going to regret finally getting his dream come true. But to my surprise, the dog was happy. If the music had turned happy from the start of the dog section, it wouldn't have been as funny.
Thank you for the end message. As a ISP repairman my work has doubled since it all started, and I don't ever have any credit for this
This is amazing and moving, the dog saying : I pray that it stays like this forever. Thanks a lot! ♥♥♥
It really is!
Those "pets" are clearly paid actors
Not very good actors either. Shame really.
@@snuffyscorner werent paid ENOUGH thats for goddamn sure
@@carlwheezerofsouls3273 they get free food, free shelter, free medical care.... FREE FULL BODY MASSAGES! What more do you want?!
Alex Jones, is that you?
Oh, wait, you didn't try to sell me brain and penis pills. You can't be Alex Jones.
JTD55 😂
alternatively, author mcshrimp could begin his book with “the night was moist.”
Yeah, but there are so many people disliking this word in America that it might have gone illegal by now...
m o i s t
@@yoboikamil525 STOOOOOOOOP
That, is a different kind of Novel.
@@Kristopher103 _m ō ï ș ť_
Tubes of endless joy.....I had to sprint to the end of the aisle just to snatch the last pack from the grasp of a little old lady and my cat Squirt treats it as a toy!
Zefrank, not the hero we deserve, but the hero we have for everything he's done on his channel.
@speed6785 - But are we the audience HE deserves? (Yes, yes, we are. More more more please.)
"It was a wet night, like always." This killed me.
I nearly spat out my drink when the shrimp started typing away.
Which proves one should not drink while viewing a zefrank video.
omg u made it thru the Bob Bob part? lol
We need an update on the pets in isolation!
We are all still stuck in our hidey-holes at home with our spouses, children, other relatives, and bei-bei's.
I didn't catch that goldfish's name, but he made some interesting points.
jbrecken hmmm... 🤔 I think it could have been Bob. I could be wrong though
What about him?
+Superior Emerald. No, I'm almost sure it was Bob.
Serai3 hmmmm.... It could be. I don’t think it is any more.
"Alright here we go Bob for 15 ounces, are you ready?" "For our 1st question, what is your name?" ...tik tok tik tok tik tok tik tok...it's the easiest question....
Methinks Bob has already been on Cheech and Chong's Let's Make A Dope Deal. 😁🤣😂
CAT: ... the sudden large quantities of the tubes of endless joy...
A-ha! the Cat's Authorities are *TP Hoarders!!*
I didnt get that joke
@@kamalionify LOL! Me neither.
@@rmgalardo @Poppy Pascal It's about toilet paper :)
@@RadioCorbeau I thought it was a catheter.
@@rmgalardo That makes three of us. I'm so glad someone explained it in the notes here! :)
Honestly, your work is brilliant! Your humor is so spot on, I can't breathe during some of your segments, it's so freakin' hilarious and unique. Love from Canada.
I feel the same way!!!!
I could listen to him say bob to a fish for hours.
Aaron the Trans Male People would rather listen to this than classic literature on my channel, I can’t believe this freaking site.
@@corey-bird3489 I mean, if you had his voice, I'd be willing to listen to you read those books.
I love how the cat doesn't want people to be home constantly while the dog's wish was finally granted lol
Meanwhile my cats have separation anxiety lol.
Zefrank, it's videos like yours that make the isolation just a little endurable, so thank you for your contributions to us who are isolated from the world.
Bob.
Bob!
Bob.
@@Sahdirah Bob.
Bob.
I find it hilarious that you always portray cats like prisoners of war. My cats have been very affectionate and happy to have me around.
Bobs story is a true one, in a way.
Animals, humans included, can and will go mad from boredom and a lack of space.
And not always in a big way.
It can be little things, odd neurotic behaviors that they develop one after the other in order to keep themselves from slipping further.
I had a cat that was previously feral and I loved him so much, I miss the heck out of that cat, out of all the cats I’ve had over the years when I lost him it really hurt. Anyway he was a polydactyl with the most perfectly formed digits, so his paws were basically hands with functional thumbs and he could open doors, drawers, cabinets etc. He also hated being forced to stay indoors, I do live in a rural area that is very much still open country and there is quite a bit of wildlife around. One of the only things I wasn’t able to ‘break’ was the fact that he wouldn’t use a litter box, he knew what it was used for and he didn’t potty on the floors or in the house, but he would hold it until he was outside to relieve himself, to the point he made himself sick. If you didn’t let him out or made him mad he would find and destroy every roll of toilet paper, box of tissues and napkins in the house. We had to buy locks for the cabinets that they were stored in, and we would also had to watch Rascal whenever we ourselves used the restroom, he would either follow us in or open the door and come in behind us, waiting acting like a loving happy kitty and when you were ready to cleanup, he’d attack the toilet paper and keep it from you, displaying total dominance. I miss that butt-head. He was a very loving cat as well, but only at 3 am, 😁🖤. Sorry for the long post, the TP part made me think of my Rascal ✌️.
Miss Lissy What special memories you have!
If you're up to it call a nearby shelter and offer to foster a kitty (and/or possibly adopt one). You sound like a very loving cat person.
I think you had a pet racoon. Just saying.
@@justchillinout2002 😂
❤️❤️❤️❤️✨🌙
@@justchillinout2002 My brother had a pet racoon he got as a baby when its mother was hit by a car. Cute as heck, but NOT toilet trainable- durn thing sh*t everyplace in the house.
Dog: ", and I pray that it stays like this forever."
Me: "As of right now, I'm strongly against the idea."
I’m strongly with this idea 😃🤩
School is boring idk why people want to go back 😩😩but they are giving me more homework at home then they do when I was at school thooo 😭😭😭
That was so cute though! The dog thinking like that. Lol
------
Btw I do make weekly videos. Come Check it out! 🤞🏼
@@feedswagpeppa3976 I mean technically all your school work is homework now..,
it's been like this for like 5 years for me. at least now the world is adapting to my revolutionary lifestyle
You're as funny as hell ... and you have a big heart. The dog part got me right in the feels. Also the shout out at the end ... Nicely done. As always.
I cannot watch these at 2 am...I practically suffocate smothering my laughter in the pillow...tks!
Cat hell = Dog Heaven
... Explains everything, really.
These pets struggling with isolation and my trap door spider is just like “wait, there’s an outside world? Heh, why does it matter I’m a living like a sarlacc yo”
Meanwhile my tarantula dosn't know how to overcome her fear of crickets.
@@gayjojofan1905 Well that's an effective hunter.
@@gayjojofan1905 😂i mus know more!
Shrimp: "well then how did you knock?"
Clam: "With my tongue"
Shrimp: "Call me a sucker, but right then I knew I'd take the case"
Me: LMAO!
Oh I wish he did more of these! Especially the cats in therapy, I have t laughed that hard in a loong time.
Have been laughing 😅 at my first time watching it .I'm so thankful for the video
Everyone: has to stay home
Pets: *happiness noises*
Your new video is funny
Cats: "My evil plans will have to wait."
Cats: will they ever leave the house again
My cat has only gotten needier. She would complain when I left before all of this. Now, I barely ever leave, and she acts all dramatic and pathetic the few times I do. 🙄😹❤️