DO'S AND DONT'S OF NEGOTIATING WITH A NARCISSIST WITH DR. RAMANI PART 2
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 มี.ค. 2020
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DO’S AND DON’TS OF NEGOTIATING WITH A NARCISSIST/How do you negotiate with a narcissist? Whether it’s a divorce, breakup, or breakdown of a business or romantic partnership, any time you are dealing with a narcissist or high conflict personality, it can be hard to maintain your cool, unless you know the inside secrets. If you want to know how narcissists negotiate, how to deal with a narcissist, and how to outplay a narcissist, then this interview with special guest @doctorramani is a must watch. Find out what the narcissist is most afraid of and learn the negotiation tactics you will need right here. This is Part 2 of a 2 Part Episode. And the 3rd Episode in my series with Dr. Ramani on How to Negotiate With a Narcissist in Divorce.
#narcissist #doctorramani #rebeccazung
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• Do's and Don'ts of Neg...
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR JURISDICTION.
• DO'S AND DONT'S OF NEG...
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Thanks. I am 60yrs old and married for 40yrs.
Finally leaving. I need support to be emotionally strong
I'm 60 also! I've spent the last 40 years refusing to stay in relationships that don't honor my core values!
You've made the most important step!
You're missing what you "thought" the relationship was! That drains you!
You've acknowledged that
self-love and self-care is a priority!
It strengthens you!
💞
Finally, leaving who after 40 years? " I was widowed May 27, 2016." Hacking the comment sections too?
Spot on! Wish I’d heard this before my marriage 34years back. When I applied for divorce in 2016, the judge said, “what’s the hurry, you’ve already waited 30years!” Felt like smacking him for his insensitivity 😔
What a nut. It should be a huge red flag that someone with such a long relationship is dying to leave. That judge is an idiot 🙄
I'm living with one for the last 28 years
"Don't be pulled into the mud."
They NEED you to be as bad as they are, AND they will provoke and manipulate you to get you to behave totally unlike yourself... more like them.
You do you. Be true to yourself and what you stand for. Don't live in reaction to them. Live with YOUR purpose and protection as your goal.
The best revenge is a life well-lived.
I took notes from the video. i wrote down what you said. i will be making a file card to carry with me when i go to court and other meeting. thanks
"The best revenge, is a life
well -lived!"
Wisdom!
💞
I was never fearful in this relationship, I was blind. Things others saw, I didn't! You guys are amazing. Hearing all the don't....I was right there doing all that. Not any more. I'm hoping for divorce justice.....
Wow. My 3 sons & I would turn the radio off & completely change our activities when their dad, the narc, would drive into the driveway as he arrived home from his job.
Yep, I can relate ! It's like stop everything King Shit is home. So glad the nightmare is finally over ...
I can totally relate we had to make sure the tv channel was the same as when he left because we weren’t allowed to watch anything we wanted to we led 2 lives one in fear with my father present and one of love and honesty and joy with my mother who did everything she could to create a loving childhood with just her and me and my 2 brothers back in the 70’s the world was a different place and there was no help for us and even in the 80’s when she finally found the strength to kick him out there was no financial help or mental health care available it was only when my 17yr old brother killed himself did we receive any kind of help and even then it was pretty useless I was 24 at the time and had my own family. It broke my mother and she only was released from her pain when she died aged jus 63 in 2014. I’m glad she’s not here seeing me going through a separation from my covert narcissist husband I vowed that my children never experience any form of bullying in their home yet I married a man who did just that behind my back and they didn’t want to hurt me so didn’t say anything. My heart hurts so badly
Please remember that victims of Narcissistic Abuse are not only women. Can you please balance this in your videos. My son is currently going through this process and it can be discouraging when it is implied that women are only affected.
I also feel the same way. I also have a male family member going through utter hell. Can we share and connect here?
Naomie Fox I couldn’t agree more
The information applies to men and women!
A Narcissist is a Narcissist!
Just replace her/she with the word him/he .
I would say its even more difficult when it comes to female narcissists controlling their man.
Last don’t.....”Don’t give up”. What happens when you start running out of money to continue litigation?
I could go no further after that point. I was losing jobs due to spending too much time in court. I just had to cut my losses & get it over with.
You ladies are inspirational! A humble thank you. My question is, knowing the well studied and proven abusive behaviors of A narcissist, when will it be utilized as physical abuse is to help victims? Especially for the law to help stop the ABUSE cycle and effects going to the children involved.
It is a proven abusive behavior that needs to be discussed and placed in the law. It's too rampant and devastating on families these days!
Boundaries!!!!
The narcissist's nemesis and your bestest friend!
This is a great series. I haven't been in a romantic relationship with a Narcissist but I know family and friends who have. And this gives a lot of great insight and advice. At about 11:00, Dr. Ramani mentions I wish people could see this being dating someone. I'm single and not dating. I'm taking notes. I rather catch this as early as possible to minimize the damage.
So ty
Wow thank you thank you thank you. I so needed this as I am going through separation/divorce. What a good timing for me to listen to this video.
Yall are 2 of my favorites on this topic. LOVE the collaboration. Please do more
I thank you both! you are making my life and the way I see myself better and better everyday.
Dr Ramani, I met a guy with narcissist. I had strong sence of self and belief in me. So I am learning everything about narcissism to help myself. I am not married
Thank God!
Great information thanks I considered giving up and giving her everything, I am so tired of the fight, I am going to press on.. don’t know about the faking it till you make it, I’m just going to press forward... love this channel so much information..
Tommy I am so tired of the fight as well. I hope you can read my comment and can relate to it. I'm giving you a thumbs up.
Same here, I almost got to the point of just giving her everything, it's tough, but I won't give up. I hope you don't.
Really loved the 1st 3 videos of this series. I am utilizing this content for practical ways in dealing with people who have narcissistic patterns of behavior. I wish I had this information (and Dr Ramani’s information) in a previous job as it would have been very helpful in negotiating at work. Now using this to help “negotiate” (or shut down) other areas of life where a person likes to push the boundaries and negotiate.
This is gold. That you sooo much.
Good job ladies!
👍This video applies to men and women!
I’m going to court the 9th and thanks to you both I feel confident !
And on another note....you do not get to “see this REAL person”. They lied the whole time and lied to us who they were. You can not be held accountable for decisions to “marry this person” when that person was NEVER honest with you to begin with!! Come on!
They are such a bunch of frauds. And it's very difficult to divorce them.
So true!
We were deceived!
Now that we know, our only responsible is to "learn" from our experiences make choices that "honor" us!
Applying the law, agree completely! Don’t over estimate the settlement. Attorneys are not magicians.
A persons choice of a divorce attorney is so crucial in final judgment or settlement. Have the facts, know your county/state laws, and choose an attorney that can lead the judge or mediator to the truth. It’s the only chance for fair judgement.
Facts rather than he said she said, is your only chance to settle for what is fair, right and just in your district.
"Don't give in and don't give up!"
You two are BRILLIANT!!!👍🏿
I can’t not engage when it comes to my child getting abused in front of my eyes . How can a mother keep seeing her son getting abused , being abused in front of your eyes and you so not choose to speak out and Stand up for him when it is needed right T that moment and let him know the reality of his father and help him gain confidence then and there or from honking from this experience and applying what his mother said to him at those times and moments and when such things of abuse are repeated by his father he would be able to add up all and make sense of it and his mother ‘s feelings
I can’t believe this! I have been following you both for a while. And now you are together. Thank you, thank you, thank you BOTH!
I grew up with narcissist parents- at least partially narcissist. I’m afraid I have large parts of this kind of behaviour and reaction patterns from them. But one thing I never passed on, and never did, was being manipulative. I was diagnosed with adhd, and for us adhd-ers, our lack of concentration makes it impossible to manipulate. We are also very honest people, again - due to our lack of impulse control. Listening to you both has been an eye opener. Almost everything fits. But I also recognise traits in myself. My children and I are broken. The family has fallen apart. I have lost contact with the two of my children I have with my husband. My eldest daughter and I have a good relationship. Unfortunately she and her family lives hours away (by plane). So I wonder - how can I start the process of repairing the relationship with my children? Even though I know I have made mistakes, I really love them. Having adhd makes social interaction really difficult. What I wish for is a tool, almost like a list of what to say and what to do. Growing up, I never learned the language of love. So I wonder if you could make a ‘master class’ of what to say and what to do. I have the right, and good - feelings, empathy and emotions. And yet, I long to be able to express my love for my children (19, 20 and 38) in a way that makes them feel important, valued and loved. Always.
Jannike
I am in the same situation. Patience (can take 12 yrs, says my support group), prayers, being non-judgmental with the kids (temporarily suspend your moral values) , try to negotiate for family therapy with the kids so that the dialogues don't degenerate, educate yourself so that you are ready when they do agree to speak to you. In Canada, try Sashbear Foundation/ Family Connections for a support group for suffering family members. Dont give up: expect half step forward, 2 steps back. Sigh....
Get help/support for yourself!
Learn self-love and self-care!
You'll know what to say to your children!
💞
Great advice! I am in the middle of it!
Thank you. I have listened to all your videos and bought your book. I am ready mentally, emotionally. We are also in the same home with our three older children who are back from college. A happy family...😂😂😂. I have the most positive attitude, I am keeping my mouth shut and I am armed with a ton of patience. Your blessings are welcome!❤️❤️
Thank you for this
In my case it's the mom. I don't think she knows she's doing wrong but 4 of my five kids are picking up on it and I need to move out and give the kids what they need on my own. This really socks and I don't know how to move forward. Packing my stuff as we speak.
Thank you so much
Omg u guys are awsome🤗🤗🤗
Thank you
i see all the red flags and yet im stuck with him, and i love him nevertheless. i have to be EXTREMELY precautious in everything i do because all of my mistakes will be used up against me some other day. your videos have helped me get through him, build a wall against him and just love him from a distance
Do you love how he treats you!
Do you love how that feels!
Does the relationship reflect your core values?
Is it the kind of relationship you want?
Let these questions "become" your focus!
These questions help you to see your relationship for what it really is, and helps you decide what you really want!
@@teal1010 I honestly don’t know.. I only assume he’s having a hard time with his life and that it will be better once his life gets better. It’s just really tiring to do your best in everything and yet everything is still wrong. No matter how much I try. I’m tired. We hv been together for 6 yrs now yet we never truly know each other. And I can’t just walk away.
@@afrinaellya403 I don’t think you should walk away. I think you should run! I did it for 39 years. They don’t change. It’s exhausting. You can’t be yourself. I always told him “We live in your world and you don’t want to visit me in mine.”
@@sheryldiel4162 that’s so true! I can’t truly be myself.. I am not allowed to explain myself, and if i do, I’m said to be defensive. I know some things are my faults, but it’s so exhausting to always be in the fault. The only thing that keeps me going is that he always makes sure I know he loves me, and I know he does. But his passive aggressiveness exhausts me. Thank you sheryl, I hope I’ll find a way to end this soon...
@@afrinaellya403 does he love you or does he love the person he has created you to be? You said you can can not be yourself. I couldn’t either. I would watch what I would say because he would twist it or would take it the wrong way. Then I would be careful what I would and wouldn’t say. Then things would be fine so I’d be more myself. Next thing you know he would take something I said the wrong way.
Thank you!🙏💜
Thank you thank you 🙏
This is the most powerful cross over of anti narcist minds in the universe lol
Thank you..❤️☘️
Ladies May Jehovah God bless you! Thank you again!
Thanks 👍
Empty Nester as of 2002,
sadly and Widowed in 2016.
How do you not get angry when you loose everything I did everything wrong Help!
Hi. I have tried to download the worksheet without success. Are Mac’s not compatible?
Greetings from sunny SW Florida. Seeking a narcissistic knowledgeable attorney in SW Florida please. Thank you
I walked away from everything due to just being scared and to tired to fight him after 30 years being divorced 2 months he is engaged to some poor younger girl
I , unfortunately, ignored the 10,000 red flags!
I did too!
I kept telling myself everyone has faults/shortcomings, no one is perfect!
"Red Flags" flapping me in the face like wings!
No more!
"Narcism" videos are extremely informative, insightful and helpful!
@@teal1010 I had been suffering from the pain from those narcissists for decades, only to learn what it was just a few months ago!!! I wonder why God let’s us go on for so long without showing us the truth.
ex's(esxape artist) of a 37 marriage, lawyer wanted a receipt of everything I ever purchased the entirety of those years to try to validate his dellusions. in short, ex was after a refund for his expense, that of myself, our 4 children and everything ever utilized of "his" money. it got thrown out but it cost money to even deal with his baby man crap.
Cant find link to negotiating with a narcassist cheat sheat
So how do I make her stick to my boundries when im the man? if im trying to get my will through it ends upp with violence. And as a man in this society I cant go there. We still live togheter and im doing everything i can to sell the house, and she is doing everything she can to drag it out. Like destroying things.. wich i have to fix..
I wish I watched this video long time ago😢😢
Ok, so I was listening. My husband was not like this until the pressures of his job, my illness, the deaths of his mother, my sister, our friend, his brother all with in a matter of a few months. Actually 4 occurred inside 3 weeks. He used to be a nice guy, most people loved him. Then one morning he got up and turned into a cruel nasty controlling individual. At first I suspected a nervous break down, then I thought it was an affair with another woman, then I thought brain tumor. I saw some narcissistic characteristics but how does that happen, one morning it just pops out in them. Was he that way all along? Its very difficult for me to believe he was a narcissist all along and I didn't notice it?
Do you have an update please on your interesting comment?
Can the mother go to jail for violating court orders?
I confused to moch lady in my drim so which one if my women
TRUE TRUE TRUE
Divorce justice do not happen 😔.. I had a arranged marriage and yes we missed red flags.. but I can't imagine sharing my kids with this psycho narc husband and his narc parents. What do I do.. yes its hell to stay hell to leave. I want to leave .. I am just filing for divorce.. but I am super concerned about kids. I need advice.
What does this make us,if we think this way.hmmmm what?
Wat norses?
In other words, the narc needs to just go away. It should be illegal to behave the way they do.
I was in the mud two nights ago.
sounds like these people are not humans , they ain't got no feelings and no humanity whatsoever !!
Well i don't new wat are u tolking about n
That group is stressful 😭😩
My husband is a law unto himself. He does not obey the states law and neither does he obey our religious laws.
Why are they assuming that the man is the narcissist {get your makeup kit}in California it’s unaffordable to move we will be paying triple the rent both of us older + young kids involved after all said and done it wouldn’t be worth it.Basically I’ll be mildly unhappy I’ve been dealing with it 20 years I believe I saved my kids from drugs prison and whatever else my wife basically eats people but she doesn’t recognize this she would have probably drove my kids to mental institution without me overcoming and being strong I’m sure of this
Do not say do not engage Doctors , U am a Doctor too …. Though nothing a clinical phycologist. I rather keep myself up with that screaming and yelling out and let hi. Feel not free to take up to this all times and destroy the peace at home because at some point they would year to have peace too and would want to give peace to their flying Mobley’s their children to let them have cool time to study and enjoy their peace so ,,then they need to think too before they do something that would make me create a ruckus , to say from me .. and why should I be needing people around to then help me out of my depression that results from keeping mum and not engaging and allow him to push me further next time so as to respond next tume as I kept mum last time . Please guide . Let the hell break loose . I need peace too
what is the percentage of infidelity
Wanted to comment on the first video because talking to your friends about the this narcissist on a psychological level. They don't get it... and they may say something stupid to you. So you need to speak to someone who gets you.
This is sooo true. I have a few people I’m lucky to have in my life that don’t question me. They support, believe, and remind me of the lies I’ve been told. It’s essential to have that. My children get it and I am reminded every day why I’m choosing to leave. We need to hold strong.👍🙏
I went to court on November 8, 2021 and my parents and I were waiting to be called to see the judge. He started demanding that I stop asking for...."STOP asking for Spousal Support" "and by the way the proceeds from the sale of our house is gone " "I used to pay for my attorney's fees." Then I responded...don't be such a lyer because your attorney always sends me a monthly bank statement. He also said..."It's your fault that our daughters don't talk to me." Then I said...that it's your fault because you had verbally and physically abused them as you did to me. I cried after he blamed me.
Then after our hearing, his attorney said..."I will tell the judge to impute minimum wage to you" "You can go flip burgers."
I felt bullied by both of them and cried when my parents and I went back to their house. I have negotiate my own divorce against these 2 evil men who are so wicked.
No Rebecca call me on your platform and I would share my experiences
Wst ur getting mad?
I love Dr. Ramani. However I find the rapid fire “uh hums” distracting. And while I am convinced that they are harmless they feel a bit like a statement that she already knows of what the speaker speaks which,to me, comes across negatively.
Otherwise, great series!! 🌷😀
Keep the makeup on and tissues!? But I’m a man and men have feelings too! It’s not always the men who are the narcissist! Also it’s been proven dads can be maternally good or even better than mothers, what I call paternal. What’s with all the gender crap aye! “They can’t make them a good dad” WTF! Oh come on it’s not always the dad, actually it’s sometimes the mum!
This may as well say a narcissistic man! This is so incredibly sexist and anti-men. I say that as a liberal woman. There are narcissistic females and you may want to try to have a more neutral view.
Not sure they ever specified. Not sure why you why you feel so strongly bout it.
I'm dealing with a Narrassistic Female and I never even assumed they were talking about a man. Great information.
I don’t feel the guest Ramani is authentic, she might be narcissist herself
Why? How? I'm genuinely curious.
What ????
Dr. Ramani is a wealth of information and has a true understanding of what Narcissistic abuse really looks like.