How to REALLY LOVE a TRANSGENDER FAMILY MEMBER!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ส.ค. 2024
- Many parents are confused about how to handle it when their child or other family member begins to explore the transgender lifestyle or other destructive ideologies that are in the world today.
Should they accept this change in their life and participate in order to keep them talking and make them feel good? How do they show them that they don't agree but still show them love?
In this video, the subject of how to REALLY love a family member in crisis for sexually immoral reasons is explained.
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It feels like you're not examining how your child feels and not even trying to understand where they might be coming from, but rather just accepting that it's wrong and trying to push your own ideology on them. I feel like doing this whole song and dance where you won't accept it at all, won't make them magically go back to how they were before, but just make whatever they're going through worse and put even more distance between the two of you. Shutting your child out like that will never be healthy, sitting down and talking to them about how they feel and just listening, even if you don't support their lifestyle will simply provide better results for you and your child.
There is a vast difference between shutting them out and them choosing to leave. The video makes very clear they are welcome to participate with family, that the parent would always be there for them to help and support them through their trials and helping them in coming back to reality.
Transgenderism is a LIE. It is FALSE, destructive, and harmful in every way. If they are in this delusion, of course you should listen. Of course you should sympathize with their confusion and do whatever you can to bring them to truth and happiness.
Participating with a lie and a destructive ideology is NOT HELPING THEM at all. It is being a part of their downfall rather than showing them the way out of it.
Living a lie never produces happiness. It leads to depression, anxiety and suicide. A parent should not be a part of supporting their child’s destruction.
And a good parent might be the only person in their life willing to suffer by telling them the truth and standing by it.
As a gay man, raised in a Christian home that was also heavily influenced by IBLP and Fundamentalism, I must say that while I always respect others opinions, and am not looking for a debate, please be aware that while your stance is reasonable enough at surface value, it can go in some awry directions. Some parents may interpret "not supporting the lifestyle in any way" to mean helping the child (assuming here the child does not live at home) and having them in their home to be supporting them in their sin. Treating their significant other as a stranger, and always feeling the need to restate their stand on the issue seems to be antagonism, and emotional blackmail. Agreeing to disagree is one thing. The child knows the parent's beliefs and has chosen a different path. But feeling the need to constantly speak "truth" to the child is provoking anger at it's best. There are so very many gay individuals (myself included) that want to honestly respect others and allow them to have their lives in peace, including Christians! Christianity is not something I have anything against. In fact, I love many of my Christian friends and still treat them just the same as before I came out. I have no agenda. But I just ask to be given the same respect. When I came out, many Christians told me they needed to severely limit or sever their relationship with me, because being my friend and having normal encounters with me would be a permissive spirit toward me and a sign of approval of my actions. I see your heart here by the way, and I know that you truly want the best for others. But I speak from experience, not feeling unconditional love and acceptance from your parents leads a child to look for that love in the wrong places. It is far better to be involved with the child and their relationship (after of course expressing that you do not agree.....one time only) then to put up these excessive boundaries that lead to a cold, distant, guarded and unnatural relationship with your child. Just my thoughts. Peace and love to you.
I appreciate your balanced and thoughtful reply. But I did not say to constantly tell them they are sinful. I said not to accept their lifestyle or participate in it. That is much different. No, there is no reason to repeat over and over again. But, there is reason not to invite the person they are in sin with to your home as you would a spouse. Nor to participate in any way with them. There is a benefit in making the person feel uncomfortable with their choice if their choice is a morally corrupting and bad one.
Actions mean things. Words are useless if actions say the opposite. The goal is to let the child (adult or not) know that you love them regardless of their choices. But, you are not going to be a part of their wrong choices. That doesn't need to be said in words. It is said in actions.
Doing this is a loving action. Making them feel or believe you accept their sin is upholding it, condoning it and making it easier for them to continue in it. That would not be loving at all. Love is doing what is best for the other person regardless of the consequences to yourself. SO, yes, the child might get angry at you. That would be unpleasant and certainly not desired. But, it is a sacrifice made for the betterment of the child. And it's hard to do.
Some parents don't have the fortitude to do it because their fear is of how they will feel when their child gets angry. That isn't putting the child's best interest ahead of their own.
My prayer for you is that you will recognize what has happened to you and seek guidance to correct it. Blessings.
@@MommyAnswerLady Thank you for the raw transparency as well in speaking your heart. I do want to mention something else too. Often when an individual decides to step out of mainstream Christianity and into a gay lifestyle, they have decided for themselves that they are not putting themselves under the Christian umbrella of conduct. Therefore, if for example let's assume the child were to date a person of a different faith, that totally rejects the Christian faith (say a Pagan for example) but the relationship was still male and female....by that train of thought, the child would be unequally yoked, and going against Scripture. So making them uncomfortable by not allowing the Pagan spouse to come over is justified by the same logic. But I know many many Christian families that would still allow that couple to come over and be a part of the family. So often they consider it even a witnessing opportunity. So it seems to be an unfair litmus test against a gay relationship, and inserting the parent as the instrument of chastisement instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to do that. (if there is one). Peace my friend.
I understand your thinking here, but it is not comparing same things. It would make sense if a Christian interpreted the scripture to mean it is an absolute sin rather than an unwise choice. So, if the parent believes it is a sin, then they would not attend the wedding or participate in the relationship before marriage in any way.
But, once the vows are done, (if both the bride and groom had not been married to anyone else before) it would not be right to try to break up the marriage. It is still a covenant whether the spouse is a Christian or not. They would be right to try to help the couple and try to be a witness to bring the unbeliever to the truth. Clearly the scriptures talk about the husband being won by the conduct of the wife. And, the scriptures also say clearly that divorce and remarriage are wrong.
So, everything has to be taken in context and with balance of truth. Homosexuality does not become right at any time. It should not ever be supported or condoned because the actions themselves are evil and sinful and against God. Not to mention against human nature's need for opposition and order which produces beauty. That is a human need that is not being fulfilled in a homosexual relationship.
It is not sinful to keep a marriage vow. There is a difference here.
It takes a strong person of faith to be brave enough to say this publicly. You are fearless and so very special ❤
Thank you so much for speaking honestly and truthfully. So many are supporting things we know are not morally right. I could not find any voice of reason not even in our place or worship. If you dont agree and play pretend with the agenda you are labeled the a hateful unreasonable awful person. Its so good to know not everyone’s values have changed and you address what needs to be said in such a loving thoughtful way. I’m so sad for our youth right now
I deleted our conversation we had back in June 2023 because I want to start getting serious about my channel sometime in the near future and I currently view the conversation as a bit unprofessional and embarrassing. My opinions haven’t changed and I have saved the conversation just for record-keeping’s sake. I hope you understand if you see this.
I do not know what conversation you are referring to. That was a long time ago. 🤷🏻♀️
@@MommyAnswerLady That’s alright. I just thought I would let you know.
@@gengardabest6959
What’s your channel going to be about?
@@MommyAnswerLady Probably going to feature gaming, art, and or general commentary.
Please explain how your daughter being in a lesbian relationship is destructive.
My answer may sound like I have gone deep, but it is actually a somewhat surface answer. If you want to discuss it more, that’s ok, but I am guessing you are not really asking a question, but instead looking for a debate. That I am not interested in. But others read here, so I will indulge.
There are several layers to the answer. First, what is the reason for a person to be sexually active with a person of the same sex? And, what is the reason for a person to be sexually active with a person of a different sex, most desirably within a marriage?
When we are talking about a young person specifically, which of these life situations is most likely to result in a good and healthy outcome?
If we are not bringing religion into the picture, (which I assume is your hope) then we can talk about the truth of human nature itself.
The only reason for a person to engage in sexual activity with the same sex is to fulfill a physical lustful desire. There is no other purpose in it. If we engage in lustful desires for the sake of lustful desires, (and this can be heterosexual or homosexual) those impulses take over our lives because there is no end to it. It only grows. There is no accomplishment, goal, commitment or purpose other than to satiate base desires that will naturally grow in a person if they are continually fed.
This is why pornography becomes an addiction. It feeds base desires with no purpose, goal, or commitment and feeds that base part of human nature that is destructive to the accomplishment of other purposes in life. It takes away the productive natural desires of in-person contact within a committed relationship and satiates our natural desire for sex through unproductive and lustful means.
Once that begins to be fed, it grows and grows until the very identity of the person and their life purpose becomes all about feeding that desire. This is why the entire LGBT movement has people so dedicated to it’s cause. It is all about validating those base desires and people have become obsessed with sexuality. Once a person is obsessed with it, it overtakes their life and brings more and more perverse desires into play as those obsessions continue to grow. That is human nature and why going down that path leads to destruction.
When a young person is involved in a same sex relationship, there is no other purpose in it other than to fulfil a base desire that has been placed in their head and grown as they have fed that idea. This union is unproductive in that human nature, when put in proper order, desires sexual contrast and procreation.
For example, when you see a lesbian couple, isn’t it true that most of the time, there is one woman playing the role of the man and the other playing the role of the woman? Usually that is the case because contrast is part of natural sexuality.
Another example, who wants to see two men ice skating together? No one. It isn’t lovely. It takes away that beautiful, natural contrast between the man and the woman which is a part of human nature.
The harm comes in when a person goes against what is the natural order of things and gets confused about that contrast. This is why the rate of depression, anxiety and suicide are much higher in people who identify as some part of LGBT. As their confusion grows, they don’t see it as the confusion that is in their very being. They see it as a desire to fulfill their sexual lusts. So, they move further into the lifestyle and it starts to take over everything about them. It effects their family and their future and they begin to make it who they are.
As they do that, the natural contrast that their very soul and body actually need to feel fulfilled is missing. They do not understand why they feel so lost, alone, and why they are constantly fighting to be validated in this lifestyle.
Have you noticed how the LGBT groups constantly need others to speak the way they want them to in order to acknowledge their allegiance and support of their choices? They do this because they are actually hurting inside. They know something is not right in their very soul. But, they do not know it is exactly what they are using to try to fill the void that is causing it.
That lack of contrast that is a part of human nature damages the soul and harms them deeply. As they continue in fulfilling these base desires without any purpose or goal as in procreation and marriage, they lose a huge part of what it is to have a fulfilling life. They lose what our human nature actually craves to feel fulfilled. That is the sexual contrast, commitment, and purpose.
This causes them to fall into deep depression and have anxiety and they can’t understand why.
Here's some facts from the Mayo Clinic about lesbian behavior:
*Women who have sex with women may be at a higher risk of depression and anxiety than are other women.
* Certain sexually transmitted infections spread between women.
* Lesbians and other women who have sex with women are more likely to have alcohol use disorder and use illegal drugs than are other people.
* Violence can affect anyone in an intimate relationship. And research has shown that lesbians and other women who have sex with women experience intimate partner violence at a higher rate than do other people.
Why do you think all these things are true. It goes deeper and some of the reason is that which I have written here.
Now because I believe you weren’t really asking a question, but trying to start a debate, I imagine you didn’t really read and consider the answers here, but my hope is that other people did. Or, maybe I am completely wrong and you did actually want an answer. If so, what I have written here is part of it. There is more, but that would involve creation and I also made the assumption, without any basis other than past experience, that you don’t want to hear anything about that. So, I will end it there.
@Mommy Answer Lady Not sure why you assume things about strangers. Like how you assume I'm only here for a fight or how you assume multiple things about a marginalized group of people. But that's just an observation. Thank you for answering my question! I wanted to see if it was anything outside of "Well, the Bible told me so." And it was. I'm not here to debate you on anything because, frankly, it would be exhausting. You don't believe LGBTQ individuals are capable of love. And that's it.
@@briizyleaves
My assumptions, as I said, were from past experience. I also said I could be wrong about those assumptions.
Now…you said that I don’t believe lgbt people are capable of love. Where exactly in my answer did I say that?
@Mommy Answer Lady Oh so you do want a debate? Make up your mind.
@@briizyleaves
I guess I didn’t realize asking you to clarify your comment was a debate.
How is a lesbian relationship destructive to her and his family?? It's 2023, grow up.
The fact that you use a year in time to determine truth on this subject makes it clear why you don’t get it.
@@MommyAnswerLady What don’t I get?
@@jason-1932
What does the year 2023 have to do with the truth of human flourishing? Either something is destructive to human flourishing or it is not. The year has nothing to do with it.
The fact that you believe changes in culture through time change what is or is not good in relation to that shows you do not get that truths about our nature and creation never change.
Therefore, whatever is cool or acceptable in any given time period -you believe - is good.
This is why if you were living 50 years ago, you would likely have a completely different belief about all of this. Not because truth has changed. But because you change with whatever others around you say or believe.
Your beliefs system isn’t based on truth itself, but on the culture around you.
This is why you don’t get it.
Wow! Solid stance on this. This video focuses on the answer to the question on the title. Well-said. :) - Hanna
Based
💕👏🏻amen
keep up the good work