👉 APPLY FOR ONLINE COACHING: application.julienhimself.com/?l=r5ivrk7cdb 👉 LEARN HOW TO LET GO: www.julienhimself.com/8p?l=1yq5xr18wv 🚨 WATCH ME NEXT - I studied social anxiety in thousands of clients: th-cam.com/video/jCTgb-pxssE/w-d-xo.html - If I had low self esteem, I'd do this first: th-cam.com/video/s9yrMPIJHC8/w-d-xo.html - Stop chasing a specific person and instead do this: th-cam.com/video/DDmqrbSdzPo/w-d-xo.html - What I did to improve my social skills: th-cam.com/video/pCZdJiGSk8g/w-d-xo.html 👉 ATTEND A LIVE EVENT: www.noanxietytour.com 👉 BECOME A COACH ON MY TEAM: certification.transformationmastery.com
I have been watching your videos and I'm a vegan activist who is searching for a way to do the activism like those vegans did but in a way that's fun and entertaining. I was not expecting vegans to interrupt your event. I was excited to see how you would react, although I'm sure it was not something you or anyone there wanted. Your words and actions in these videos are truly helping me, Thank you 🙏.
@@Monroenewhomeummm let's not project our insecurities in comment sections, wait I'm doing it now you know what nvm I want to turn you into a carrot go back in time then shove you up your own ....
Julien, one time a few years ago you said you were going to coach a limited number of people who you felt really needed and deserved your help and to get in touch if we felt we needed your help.. One of your people phoned me and he told me space was limited on your coaching slots.. He asked me, and said you wanted to know (because there was only one space left he told me), he asked me to explain why i felt i deserved to get your coaching (that you had said was a special opportunity to get help for a few people who really needed it, you never mentioned money, you said in the video where you offered the coaching that it was to help people) and in the call you made to me he said you were talking with him about me and my situation and your guy said you had said to him to ask me why i felt i deserved to get your coaching) he was making it sound like it was free and that it was going to be a deserving person who got your help. I had been in REAL crisis in life, after MAJOR trauma of losing my son to an ex who killed him, i had nearly killed myself after trauma after my baby was killed by my ex.. But your guy said there were limited spaces in your time and that you wanted to help but only if you felt i deserved the help and he talked me into talking about all the things that troubled me so deeply just to try to convince you to coach me.. And i really really really needed to feel someone gave a damn.. The whole time he was saying it was you wanting to coach people to help people in tough times.. But it was only after I'd exposed my emotions to all my terrible memories, when he said you needed a good reason to coach me, and that there was only one space left on your time that he told me (after an hour of me opening up about things) THEN he told me it was a few thousand pounds to get your help.. After the whole time of you and him acting like you were wanting to help a few people because you cared all that FAKE EMPATHY AND LIES THAT YOU CARE.. just to get my money after you guys acting like it was a chance to get your help because you care and wanted to help a limited number of people in tough times So i just wanted to say you guys should be ashamed of yourselves for using those type of sales methods with people.. Especially when i made it clear in my application for the coaching that i was in total crisis.. you had said clearly in your video that you wanted people to say WHY we really needed your help as you said you wanted to help people who really needed your help.. You made it sound like you were doing it as you cared, and that it was to help people in crisis.. No mention of it being for money and you almost went out of your way to act like it was not for money, in your spiel about it Your whole spiel about the coaching was you were going to help a limited number of people as this really great opportunity for them if they were having tough times.. But you are really bad for preying on people who were going through really tough times.. i had no money as i was barely able to function in any sense of the word..i had just killed myself but survived by sheer luck (or Gods love).. Then you claimed to be wanting to help a few people if our lives were really tough That really hurt man.. Really badly.. To be told you cared and that you wanted to help people, then me being told if i said WHY I REALLY needed the help you would consider letting me onto the last space on the course Then after me being really vulnerable and being asked to open up all those traumatic memories to try to convince you as to why i deserved to get your help.. Then your guy hits me with it'll be thousands of pounds, and that if i didn't give you the money quickly then i would lose out on getting your help That was a sh!tty tactic to do to me when i was in total crisis and wanting to die You just wanted my money and you and your guy tried to play me to get it (he said you had listened in to some of the call and you wanted to help me, but then he suddenly started trying to make me feel i would miss out on getting your help if i didn't give you the few thousand pounds sign up fee really quickly, AFTER YOUR ADVERT VIDEO AND HIS CALL MADE ME FEEL YOU WERE GENUINELY WANTING TO HELP you were manipulating my crisis, and using FOMO (fear of missing out) to try to get my money WHEN I HAD MADE IT CLEAR from the start that i had no money and was in total crisis (you had given the impression in your campaign that you were doing limited numbers of personal coaching for people who really needed your help, and you would help us IF you felt we REALLY needed your help.. But REALLY you were just being manipulative to try to get vulnerable people like me to give you my money and you didn't really give a damn about me if i didn't give you cash You and your guy really upset me by making me open up about my crisis, when he said you only had one space left and you needed a good reason to let me be coached by you Trying to exploit people who are vulnerable is REALLY low man REALLY low But i bet you don't give a sh!t about that I was so upset by what you and your guy did to me, when you had made it look like you were wanting to help me To pretend you care, only to try to get money off me in my crisis, was really low.. And I'll always remember you as that guy who exploits the vulnerable to try to get our money..pretends to care about guys but only wants our money and doesn't care how hurt we are by what you do And before anyone calls me a snowflake remember my kid had been killed by my ex and Julian and his guy both tried to play me to get my money off me when i needed the help he had offered me Sincerely from Rolland in Scotland
@@komeitakano7976A lot of people that try to be cool are forcing it and in doing so ppl can feel the fake energy. Why? Because most ppl want to be cool so others give them validation. Once you realize that the actual validation you are seeking is your own, then you will naturally be cool because you dont care anymore what others think.
My top takeaway: Best part of this video is "this is my frame, take it or leave it vs this is my frame, submit". With the first one there is no conflict, no need to prove anything. Freedom. Ataraxia.
Julien is a great teacher for these things, but ultimately, Jesus is the real hero. God frees us from bondage and breaks us from any chains holding us back. This is very much spiritual as well as physical.
Best part about this is, is that it's effortless, once you own everything about yourself. You're just you, and without effort, that'll be cool or at least memorable.
Julien, I absolutely love how you just rolled with that unexpected interruption and tied it in beautifully with the rest of your message of creating a strong, authentic, self-confident frame. Bravo!
Omg thank you. I've been feeling down a lot lately, due to wanting to fit in the circle of friends, whether it my school friends or colleagues at work. I learned your message that we should stop trying to be cool and that really hits me personally. When I don't act cool, I don't disappoint myself in social situations. I just do things on my own terms, I let go of people's expectations.... I've felt like a weight has been lifted from my shoulder. Expectations/trends = unnecessary stress.
Not fitting in is your asset. You're not one of the programmed drones like most. Fly solo and thank me later. I'm in my 50s and single, best time of my life. It's so peaceful without them..
I'm a 55 year old woman. Back in the 80's when I was a teenager, I went through a very awkward and nerdy stage. Other kids made fun of me and made me feel like I was just unworthy of fitting in and making friends. I did have some friends, but people did not think of me as me as one of the popular girls. In the 90's, the trends from the 70's made a comeback. People everywhere were once again wearing bell-bottoms, Shag hairdos, listening to 70's music, and watching TV shows and movies from the 70's. In a way, it felt like I was reliving my childhood, but I was seeing the decade of the 1970's through the eyes of an adult, instead of through the eyes of a little girl. (It was actually a 90's version of the 70's!) I got into the 70's comeback, and for the first time, it felt like I was no longer the awkward, nerdy little wallflower I was when I was a teenager. Or so, I thought! But, no! People still did not consider me to be one of the cool, popular girls. I remember thinking, "What am I doing wrong?" Then, I figured it out. I'm just too much of a Miss Goody-Two Shoes! I like some trends (like the 70's comeback in the 90's), but I draw the line at certain things. I don"t drink, smoke, swear, or do drugs. I'm very conservative, and I despise political correctness. I don't have any tattoos or body piercings, nor do I want any. I'm not perfect by any means, but there are some things I choose not to do, because I know I would not feel comfortable doing them. And because of this, people in my age group are always going to view me as uncool. It's something I just have to accept about myself, because that's just who I am.
You be who you are! Kick ass! As I once heard, everyone is perfectly imperfect. Be yourself, be proud of yourself, be confident in who you are. Who cares about if others think you are cool or not? You shouldn't! Be yourself and people of a like mind will come your way naturally!
Wow man, Jul this authenticity has been what I've been working on since I was a boy with weird exercises just like the yelling. My soul feels found, I'm loving! Loving this channel
Thank you for sharing this amazing talk!!! Really resonated with my current situation. And gives me head wind on my journey becoming a frame master. Much love 🌞🙏
Yo man found ur videos recently. Really having my mind blown by this concept. It was on my mind throughout the day and I make a conscious effort to be more relaxed and authentic. Interesting how receptive others are to that energy. Small things add up, thanks for doing this from another Julian!
I'm just discovering you and I feel that I can relaunch my business thanks to you. My self esteem had suddenly gone lower than ever for one year and thanks to your videos I'm changing my frame again. Thank you I love your authenticity and I resonate so much🙏🙏🙏🥲
I used to be obsessed with being cool and very upset and self conscious about not being so (I'm a super nerd 😏). I thought about it for a very long time and noticed that the coolest people were the kind that didn't have to _try_ to be cool, they just were. People who behave like James Bond. Does what he wants and is simply himself.. so everyone wants to be like him. My mistake was in thinking that some people were cool, while people like me were incapable of it. I thought that it was an innate characteristic (that I certainly didn't have) rather than a mindset that you can learn and practice. I condemned large chunks of myself a looooong time ago, and now I'm scared to reveal too much about myself to others for fear of being rejected again.
I really appreciate your content. I've been diving deep into Psychology lately, and you present practical methods and ideas in a very fun and accessible way.
Julian, I've been watching your work from the very beginning of your career, I salute you, you were a good PUA, but look at you now, Amazing mentor with eye-opening subjects, a life transformer, you have my respect bro, keep it up
i love u dude.... thank u so much for doing this and making it available on utube. apparently im so clueless about this social stuff and get bullied a lot cuz of it.
My definition of “cool” is exactly what you describe in this video. I’m “cool” being me, smiling and enjoying the scene! Everybody has greatness unique to them. 😎
One way to come back to your authentic self, living that frame, is doing a session of heavy breathwork (Wim Hof). While doing the breathing you'll have resistance and it will feel uncomfortable, but ignoring that and still finishing, you'll come out as a clean slate to yourself.
Great speech champ you absolutely nailed it how it really is to many people are clout chasing without realising we have everything we could possibly need or ever want if we have the belief system to manifest it and achieve it then we'll win for real where as clout chasing/chasers in the long run will spiritually and psychologically burn out once they begin to realise it was all to vain and nothing more than wasted efforts!!
Top takeaway…we self sabotage because deep deep deep down we feel unworthy and ashamed at the core of who we are. and our feelings, thoughts, and actions will align with this “truth” until it is dug up from the subconscious, and worthiness is planted 🌱 instead
Thankyou Julien❤ Just now I watched one of your earlier video where the guy screams and watching it gave me so much relief that maybe I can do it too... let go of what I have been hiding inside of me ... can you please make more videos on how to be yourself at work cuz i was too afraid to commit to do a job at office and lost many opportunities
There's literally no way you can separate your own happiness from the values and customs that society deems to be "successful" or "cool". We are hard-wired, evolutionarily, to be as success-driven as possible - psychically our happiness is intertwined to the opinions of other people. Can our perceptions be wrong or delusional? Are there some people who are trailblazers and rogues, who buck the trend? Sure. But a lot of insecurities, that drive approval-seeking, are based on accurate assessments of our own faults and flaws. I do think, though, that trying too hard to be cool, bragging about achievements, being too aware of social hierarchies, is actually detrimental to your relationships. You need to integrate your shadow and show vulnerability and truthful thoughts with others. It's a fine balance.
Hey man. The last minute was super useful for me about self-sabotage because of unaligned bad stuff. Can you tell me more how to fix it? I believe there should be continuation of the last idea. I would be super greatful for this
Hey, glad that part resonated with you! In order to let go of that, however... That's a whole other process in and of itself. This is the letting go method that I use: www.julienhimself.com/8p
One thing I would say that's missing sometimes in these talks is maybe an extra added layer of compassionate overstanding towards some of the complex social factors that lead to these addictive behaviors... For example, you start talking about how for "these people"(a little condescending) social media & external validation are like crack. A lot of people with highly negative self-beliefs are going to hear something like that and take it as evidence of another way they have fundamentally screwed up as a person but the reality is this is pretty much the default if you or someone that has grown up and existed in society over say the last 30 or 40 years and it's not something that should make feel people feel defective... By taking an extra step and helping people see that not only was their family dynamic and attachment style with their parents foundational in setting the stage for this kind of behavior, but so was their diet. So was their level of exposure to video games and TV and advertising. That's really only scratching the surface, but I'm just saying yes. Some people might think that there are people that will just use this as an excuse to not improve, but many other people need to take this extra step of self-compassion and understanding so that they can really release themselves from a sense of guilt about having done something wrong or having been someone that somehow started with all perfect blank slate circumstances in character creation mode and they just botched it. I mean, I don't know anyone whose parents somehow prepared them for the invention of smartphones....we are culturally conditioned to a large degree by corporations. Point is, when we begin to start taking more responsibility for ourselves and our behavior, it's important to recognize that most of it are factors we DO NOT control and this is simply the conditions we have been given to work with.
I really enjoy your videos lately, but I actually do think the woman who spoke up about veganism is a brave soul that speaks for the animals with no voice. Many people shame activists but they are selfless people. Being vegan actually increases confidence and connection to earth so it goes hand in hand with your teachings💕
Yes, speaking up for what you believe in is KEY and it takes a lot of bravery! However, there are better ways to go about it than by interrupting an event by shaming people. 👌
We live in an era where superhero sci-fi action movies and Halo and Deadpool fandom is in. It's now deemed cool to be a nerd. Regarding the world of fiction itself, it's the same thing with the entertainment world, it's all about pure entertainment, pandering to the lowest common denominator. This is an aspect of commercialism, of mainstream-directing the product to keep it palletable to the wide scale public (popularized). If it's popular it's pop and another term you could give for pop is "cool.". Because it has wide appeal, most people find it cool. But independent stuff has so much better potential to be really good and the more creative freedom it has, the more potential it has to be that good. Now to be fair about it, just because a product has its cart blanch doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be unfiltered gold, there's a lot of independent movies however, that go to indie labels purely to be more trashy than Hollywood just for a cash grab. There's plenty of independent lesbian romance films (not too unlike the painfully unfunny romcoms made by Hollywood) or independent pothead comedies (there were plenty of these in the 90s and the indie movie did squat to make it different). But the independent scene at least has potential. My point is "cool" is just a word and something determined by society, it's another way of saying popular. And what's deemed popular can be anything and often interchanges anyhow. It's always better to not give a damn about "being cool," there was a football player once, who on camera said, "It's cool to be yourself.". Truer words were never spoken.
if most people are like that, it kind of calms me down because if everyone is doing their best to look good in front of me then i don't have to do the same work and i can just relax and enjoy it without worrying whether they like me or not, because they focus on themselves to please me...right?
I wish someone comes at me one day in the middle of a completely unrelated discussion and starts randomly ranting about veganism. I wanna respond by clenching my teeth and my fists and yelling "RAAAAWWWWRRRR VEGAN YEAAAAAAHHHHH WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" just to see the reaction of both whoever I'm talking to and the vegan ranting person.
Loved the message in this video bro but even when I try to let go of things and not resist, my subconscious mind still isn’t quite letting me as I still get nervous when talking to people (especially girls). Is it because it takes time for my body to accept the fact that I let go or am I doing something wrong?
There are MANY subtle traps and mistakes people make when trying to let go... Let me know if you'd like my help identifying the one(s) you may be making: application.julienhimself.com 👌
I just had to comment on the "mould me into what you want" sounds contradictory. Are we not talking about the importance of being authentic and yourself??
This woman is called the "millitant vegan" in Germany but she is actually from Austria. I can't think of another person who was from Austria, ruled and screamed in Germany and was vegetarian 😅
I have a question Julien. After explanation of the value of what comes from the inside compared to outside, you depicted the motivation magnet as something from the outside... Can you have some short answer to that?
7:35 gotta give it to Julien here. He acted pretty cool when that vegan protester interrupted his seminar. Who knows if that vegan protester interrupting was real or not but the advice seems solid: have solid frame but do not impose it. you won't charm people by forcing them. you probably won't even persuade them into your arguments by forcing them down throats. Be you and attract those who resonate with what you believe in.
Anyone got any good tips on how to step on the gas for the whole anger part ? I figured out some stuff for grief (sad songs) and fear (horror games/movies), but I'm kinda stuck on how to get anger going. It's really frustrating to feel it kinda close to the surface, but not being able to coax some of it out. (And before someone says frustration is anger, it is not the same as this excess shit inside, that feels fake in comparison)
Hi, same problem here, but i managed to tap into that before, Anger is a more energetic feeling so i think for someone that hasn't connected with it very frecuently would need the help of his tool "Transformation Levels" shown in other videos, it shows you the stage you're at before you can tap into an Anger state, also another thing that has worked for me is going to a memory where i've felt powerless and wanted to do something, that trigger makes me tap into it.
In other videos you talk a lot about accepting also the parts within you that you normally would try to suppress. But with this demon analogy, it seems like, we would actually want to get rid of the demon, but isn't that also a part of our selfs? Or is it more a consequence of someone not accepting something within them and not an actual part of themself? It just sounds difficult in practice to differentiate between the true self and the consequences/behaviours derived from suppressing the true self. But maybe I am wrong and in practice you can actually feel the difference between what's truly you and what is just a little demon...
Find the one you will like and stick with it, hell even try to combine with another trait you like, and then own it. Try to block negative traits and keep only the positive, nothing can stop us from having ups and downs in life, the change is within yourself to how you see things at an certain degree. is it really that negative or could it be worse. As long as we live we have the power to change things around us, including ourselves. Maybe you could try to be the better version of yourself by finding those traits, and try to make it yours in whatever situation you find yourself in. imo...
Maybe I am just stupid but I don’t understand. I need to stop try to being cool ? But when I am fully my self people just don’t treat me right. I need to play a role every time, like a serious and act charismatic ect ect
If you live as authentically as possible and don't base your self-worth on things out of your control you shouldn't care so much about what others think of you
if people don't treat you right when you act authentically then you aren't around the right people, it seems you're trying to cling to those people out of desperation even if you know that they aren't true friends.
all the people that think they are cool are super uncool in my opinion lol... so i guess fair is fair...they think im uncool and i think they are uncool
Have to better define "cool". Is it doing what the Money wants or going for the best culture to feed your head? From where I stand, everyone's gobbling corporate garbage like they were starving as soon as they had eaten. And that ain't cool.
The problem is, when you give up trying to be at your best, you end up like the guy in the soeedrunning video who got told “I don’t think you should talk anymore”. You become cringe and embarrassing, and your chances of getting a gf goes to zero. There has to be a level of a social acclimation, otherwise it’s gonna be really bad for you.
👉 APPLY FOR ONLINE COACHING: application.julienhimself.com/?l=r5ivrk7cdb
👉 LEARN HOW TO LET GO: www.julienhimself.com/8p?l=1yq5xr18wv
🚨 WATCH ME NEXT
- I studied social anxiety in thousands of clients: th-cam.com/video/jCTgb-pxssE/w-d-xo.html
- If I had low self esteem, I'd do this first: th-cam.com/video/s9yrMPIJHC8/w-d-xo.html
- Stop chasing a specific person and instead do this: th-cam.com/video/DDmqrbSdzPo/w-d-xo.html
- What I did to improve my social skills: th-cam.com/video/pCZdJiGSk8g/w-d-xo.html
👉 ATTEND A LIVE EVENT: www.noanxietytour.com
👉 BECOME A COACH ON MY TEAM: certification.transformationmastery.com
Ummm, let's not like our own comments
I have been watching your videos and I'm a vegan activist who is searching for a way to do the activism like those vegans did but in a way that's fun and entertaining. I was not expecting vegans to interrupt your event. I was excited to see how you would react, although I'm sure it was not something you or anyone there wanted.
Your words and actions in these videos are truly helping me, Thank you 🙏.
@@Monroenewhomeummm let's not project our insecurities in comment sections, wait I'm doing it now you know what nvm I want to turn you into a carrot go back in time then shove you up your own ....
Julien, one time a few years ago you said you were going to coach a limited number of people who you felt really needed and deserved your help and to get in touch if we felt we needed your help..
One of your people phoned me and he told me space was limited on your coaching slots..
He asked me, and said you wanted to know (because there was only one space left he told me), he asked me to explain why i felt i deserved to get your coaching (that you had said was a special opportunity to get help for a few people who really needed it, you never mentioned money, you said in the video where you offered the coaching that it was to help people)
and in the call you made to me he said you were talking with him about me and my situation and your guy said you had said to him to ask me why i felt i deserved to get your coaching)
he was making it sound like it was free and that it was going to be a deserving person who got your help.
I had been in REAL crisis in life, after MAJOR trauma of losing my son to an ex who killed him, i had nearly killed myself after trauma after my baby was killed by my ex..
But your guy said there were limited spaces in your time and that you wanted to help but only if you felt i deserved the help and he talked me into talking about all the things that troubled me so deeply just to try to convince you to coach me..
And i really really really needed to feel someone gave a damn..
The whole time he was saying it was you wanting to coach people to help people in tough times..
But it was only after I'd exposed my emotions to all my terrible memories,
when he said you needed a good reason to coach me, and that there was only one space left on your time
that he told me (after an hour of me opening up about things) THEN he told me it was a few thousand pounds to get your help.. After the whole time of you and him acting like you were wanting to help a few people because you cared
all that FAKE EMPATHY AND LIES THAT YOU CARE.. just to get my money after you guys acting like it was a chance to get your help because you care and wanted to help a limited number of people in tough times
So i just wanted to say you guys should be ashamed of yourselves for using those type of sales methods with people.. Especially when i made it clear in my application for the coaching that i was in total crisis.. you had said clearly in your video that you wanted people to say WHY we really needed your help as you said you wanted to help people who really needed your help.. You made it sound like you were doing it as you cared, and that it was to help people in crisis.. No mention of it being for money and you almost went out of your way to act like it was not for money, in your spiel about it
Your whole spiel about the coaching was you were going to help a limited number of people as this really great opportunity for them if they were having tough times..
But you are really bad for preying on people who were going through really tough times..
i had no money as i was barely able to function in any sense of the word..i had just killed myself but survived by sheer luck (or Gods love).. Then you claimed to be wanting to help a few people if our lives were really tough
That really hurt man.. Really badly.. To be told you cared and that you wanted to help people, then me being told if i said WHY I REALLY needed the help you would consider letting me onto the last space on the course
Then after me being really vulnerable and being asked to open up all those traumatic memories to try to convince you as to why i deserved to get your help.. Then your guy hits me with it'll be thousands of pounds, and that if i didn't give you the money quickly then i would lose out on getting your help
That was a sh!tty tactic to do to me when i was in total crisis and wanting to die
You just wanted my money and you and your guy tried to play me to get it (he said you had listened in to some of the call and you wanted to help me, but then he suddenly started trying to make me feel i would miss out on getting your help if i didn't give you the few thousand pounds sign up fee really quickly, AFTER YOUR ADVERT VIDEO AND HIS CALL MADE ME FEEL YOU WERE GENUINELY WANTING TO HELP you were manipulating my crisis, and using FOMO (fear of missing out) to try to get my money
WHEN I HAD MADE IT CLEAR from the start that i had no money and was in total crisis (you had given the impression in your campaign that you were doing limited numbers of personal coaching for people who really needed your help, and you would help us IF you felt we REALLY needed your help..
But REALLY you were just being manipulative to try to get vulnerable people like me to give you my money and you didn't really give a damn about me if i didn't give you cash
You and your guy really upset me by making me open up about my crisis, when he said you only had one space left and you needed a good reason to let me be coached by you
Trying to exploit people who are vulnerable is REALLY low man
REALLY low
But i bet you don't give a sh!t about that
I was so upset by what you and your guy did to me, when you had made it look like you were wanting to help me
To pretend you care, only to try to get money off me in my crisis, was really low..
And I'll always remember you as that guy who exploits the vulnerable to try to get our money..pretends to care about guys but only wants our money and doesn't care how hurt we are by what you do
And before anyone calls me a snowflake remember my kid had been killed by my ex and Julian and his guy both tried to play me to get my money off me when i needed the help he had offered me
Sincerely
from Rolland
in Scotland
You don't need to try to be cool when you accept and embrace the fact that you're already cool no matter what people think.
Yes, exactly!!
And you're actually cool if you accept and embrace it. (others opinion doesn't make you hot)
Huh….🤔
@@komeitakano7976A lot of people that try to be cool are forcing it and in doing so ppl can feel the fake energy. Why? Because most ppl want to be cool so others give them validation. Once you realize that the actual validation you are seeking is your own, then you will naturally be cool because you dont care anymore what others think.
This implies that everyone is cool, and that is just simply not true
“Whoever you’re trying to impress is pimping you out”.
That hit me like a wall of bricks man.
My top takeaway: Best part of this video is "this is my frame, take it or leave it vs this is my frame, submit". With the first one there is no conflict, no need to prove anything. Freedom. Ataraxia.
Nice! Great takeaway!
Submission is about the assertion of dominance over another human being
You're that superhero that we don't deserve but we need. You're saving this world from mediocrity, anxiety and fears.
Julien is a great teacher for these things, but ultimately, Jesus is the real hero. God frees us from bondage and breaks us from any chains holding us back. This is very much spiritual as well as physical.
Best part about this is, is that it's effortless, once you own everything about yourself. You're just you, and without effort, that'll be cool or at least memorable.
Yes!! 🙌
Julien, I absolutely love how you just rolled with that unexpected interruption and tied it in beautifully with the rest of your message of creating a strong, authentic, self-confident frame. Bravo!
Thank you!
I was gonna say the same thing, beautiful public speaking ability. It was quite impressive.
Why was she suddenly ranting about veganism?!
Omg thank you. I've been feeling down a lot lately, due to wanting to fit in the circle of friends, whether it my school friends or colleagues at work. I learned your message that we should stop trying to be cool and that really hits me personally. When I don't act cool, I don't disappoint myself in social situations. I just do things on my own terms, I let go of people's expectations.... I've felt like a weight has been lifted from my shoulder.
Expectations/trends = unnecessary stress.
Not fitting in is your asset. You're not one of the programmed drones like most. Fly solo and thank me later. I'm in my 50s and single, best time of my life. It's so peaceful without them..
I'm a 55 year old woman. Back in the 80's when I was a teenager, I went through a very awkward and nerdy stage. Other kids made fun of me and made me feel like I was just unworthy of fitting in and making friends. I did have some friends, but people did not think of me as me as one of the popular girls.
In the 90's, the trends from the 70's made a comeback. People everywhere were once again wearing bell-bottoms, Shag hairdos, listening to 70's music, and watching TV shows and movies from the 70's. In a way, it felt like I was reliving my childhood, but I was seeing the decade of the 1970's through the eyes of an adult, instead of through the eyes of a little girl. (It was actually a 90's version of the 70's!) I got into the 70's comeback, and for the first time, it felt like I was no longer the awkward, nerdy little wallflower I was when I was a teenager. Or so, I thought! But, no! People still did not consider me to be one of the cool, popular girls. I remember thinking, "What am I doing wrong?" Then, I figured it out. I'm just too much of a Miss Goody-Two Shoes! I like some trends (like the 70's comeback in the 90's), but I draw the line at certain things. I don"t drink, smoke, swear, or do drugs. I'm very conservative, and I despise political correctness. I don't have any tattoos or body piercings, nor do I want any. I'm not perfect by any means, but there are some things I choose not to do, because I know I would not feel comfortable doing them. And because of this, people in my age group are always going to view me as uncool. It's something I just have to accept about myself, because that's just who I am.
You be who you are! Kick ass! As I once heard, everyone is perfectly imperfect. Be yourself, be proud of yourself, be confident in who you are. Who cares about if others think you are cool or not? You shouldn't! Be yourself and people of a like mind will come your way naturally!
Wow man, Jul this authenticity has been what I've been working on since I was a boy with weird exercises just like the yelling. My soul feels found, I'm loving! Loving this channel
Nice! Glad this resonates and welcome to the channel! 🙌
Thank you for sharing this amazing talk!!! Really resonated with my current situation. And gives me head wind on my journey becoming a frame master. Much love 🌞🙏
You’re so welcome! Glad this resonates with you! 🙌
Yo man found ur videos recently. Really having my mind blown by this concept. It was on my mind throughout the day and I make a conscious effort to be more relaxed and authentic.
Interesting how receptive others are to that energy. Small things add up, thanks for doing this from another Julian!
I'm just discovering you and I feel that I can relaunch my business thanks to you.
My self esteem had suddenly gone lower than ever for one year and thanks to your videos I'm changing my frame again.
Thank you I love your authenticity and I resonate so much🙏🙏🙏🥲
Wwdb business?
I used to be obsessed with being cool and very upset and self conscious about not being so (I'm a super nerd 😏). I thought about it for a very long time and noticed that the coolest people were the kind that didn't have to _try_ to be cool, they just were. People who behave like James Bond. Does what he wants and is simply himself.. so everyone wants to be like him.
My mistake was in thinking that some people were cool, while people like me were incapable of it. I thought that it was an innate characteristic (that I certainly didn't have) rather than a mindset that you can learn and practice.
I condemned large chunks of myself a looooong time ago, and now I'm scared to reveal too much about myself to others for fear of being rejected again.
U really changed my thinking... what a great opportunity to know u❤
Amazing! Glad to hear it! 🙏
The frame thing is crazy, love the content, it's helping me a lot, thank you so much 🙏
You're so welcome! Glad this was helpful!
I really appreciate your content. I've been diving deep into Psychology lately, and you present practical methods and ideas in a very fun and accessible way.
You're life changing, i haven't changed fully yet, watch all your videos and try to understand my emotions
Julian, I've been watching your work from the very beginning of your career, I salute you, you were a good PUA, but look at you now, Amazing mentor with eye-opening subjects, a life transformer,
you have my respect bro, keep it up
i love u dude.... thank u so much for doing this and making it available on utube. apparently im so clueless about this social stuff and get bullied a lot cuz of it.
My definition of “cool” is exactly what you describe in this video. I’m “cool” being me, smiling and enjoying the scene! Everybody has greatness unique to them. 😎
Nice! 👌
I want to be like you 🤩.. no wait, that's wrong 🤔
@@Intensive_Porpoises 😄
the ending really hit home for me, I've given myself a life sentence lol
One way to come back to your authentic self, living that frame, is doing a session of heavy breathwork (Wim Hof). While doing the breathing you'll have resistance and it will feel uncomfortable, but ignoring that and still finishing, you'll come out as a clean slate to yourself.
Nobody saw the Julien x militante Veganerin crossover coming
😂😂
She was a perfect example of exactly what Julien was saying. Btw, I am with her on this.
I agree with the wise words of my sister when she said “I can’t stand cool people.”
Great speech champ you absolutely nailed it how it really is to many people are clout chasing without realising we have everything we could possibly need or ever want if we have the belief system to manifest it and achieve it then we'll win for real where as clout chasing/chasers in the long run will spiritually and psychologically burn out once they begin to realise it was all to vain and nothing more than wasted efforts!!
That's nice of you to include the vegan lady's part + with a video 🙂
Very helpful keep growing i love ur content.❤
Thank you so much! What was your top takeaway btw?
Top takeaway…we self sabotage because deep deep deep down we feel unworthy and ashamed at the core of who we are. and our feelings, thoughts, and actions will align with this “truth” until it is dug up from the subconscious, and worthiness is planted 🌱 instead
"how ridiculous is this" was timed to perfection in this case 😂
😂😂
Thankyou Julien❤ Just now I watched one of your earlier video where the guy screams and watching it gave me so much relief that maybe I can do it too... let go of what I have been hiding inside of me ... can you please make more videos on how to be yourself at work cuz i was too afraid to commit to do a job at office and lost many opportunities
Another genius video. You’re such a blessing Julien 🙏🏻
Thank you! Glad this resonates!
I always thought if u want to appear cool just be present.
2:23 I really bursted a laugh when that woman took a photo of Julien
There's literally no way you can separate your own happiness from the values and customs that society deems to be "successful" or "cool". We are hard-wired, evolutionarily, to be as success-driven as possible - psychically our happiness is intertwined to the opinions of other people. Can our perceptions be wrong or delusional? Are there some people who are trailblazers and rogues, who buck the trend? Sure. But a lot of insecurities, that drive approval-seeking, are based on accurate assessments of our own faults and flaws.
I do think, though, that trying too hard to be cool, bragging about achievements, being too aware of social hierarchies, is actually detrimental to your relationships. You need to integrate your shadow and show vulnerability and truthful thoughts with others. It's a fine balance.
Thanks!
🙏🙏🙏
Hey man. The last minute was super useful for me about self-sabotage because of unaligned bad stuff. Can you tell me more how to fix it? I believe there should be continuation of the last idea. I would be super greatful for this
Hey, glad that part resonated with you! In order to let go of that, however... That's a whole other process in and of itself. This is the letting go method that I use: www.julienhimself.com/8p
@@JulienHimself crap, that was a good hook man
One thing I would say that's missing sometimes in these talks is maybe an extra added layer of compassionate overstanding towards some of the complex social factors that lead to these addictive behaviors... For example, you start talking about how for "these people"(a little condescending) social media & external validation are like crack. A lot of people with highly negative self-beliefs are going to hear something like that and take it as evidence of another way they have fundamentally screwed up as a person but the reality is this is pretty much the default if you or someone that has grown up and existed in society over say the last 30 or 40 years and it's not something that should make feel people feel defective... By taking an extra step and helping people see that not only was their family dynamic and attachment style with their parents foundational in setting the stage for this kind of behavior, but so was their diet. So was their level of exposure to video games and TV and advertising. That's really only scratching the surface, but I'm just saying yes. Some people might think that there are people that will just use this as an excuse to not improve, but many other people need to take this extra step of self-compassion and understanding so that they can really release themselves from a sense of guilt about having done something wrong or having been someone that somehow started with all perfect blank slate circumstances in character creation mode and they just botched it. I mean, I don't know anyone whose parents somehow prepared them for the invention of smartphones....we are culturally conditioned to a large degree by corporations. Point is, when we begin to start taking more responsibility for ourselves and our behavior, it's important to recognize that most of it are factors we DO NOT control and this is simply the conditions we have been given to work with.
I really enjoy your videos lately, but I actually do think the woman who spoke up about veganism is a brave soul that speaks for the animals with no voice. Many people shame activists but they are selfless people. Being vegan actually increases confidence and connection to earth so it goes hand in hand with your teachings💕
Yes, speaking up for what you believe in is KEY and it takes a lot of bravery! However, there are better ways to go about it than by interrupting an event by shaming people. 👌
Man I really resonate with your messages. Thanks bro!
Glad to hear it! You're welcome!
I don't care what's cool, trendy, or the current thing. I do what I like and want: live my own life
Nice! 🔥👊
06:04 Vegan incident in Vienna. 😅
I was un-cool before un-cool was cool!
UnCool is Becoming latest fashion thing
The closing few seconds is golden!
Glad that part resonated with you!
“frame battle” i love it
Glad this resonates! 👌
Please do a video on dealing with social bullies and disrespect
Watch this: th-cam.com/video/SMYTMACbrQI/w-d-xo.html
We live in an era where superhero sci-fi action movies and Halo and Deadpool fandom is in. It's now deemed cool to be a nerd. Regarding the world of fiction itself, it's the same thing with the entertainment world, it's all about pure entertainment, pandering to the lowest common denominator. This is an aspect of commercialism, of mainstream-directing the product to keep it palletable to the wide scale public (popularized). If it's popular it's pop and another term you could give for pop is "cool.". Because it has wide appeal, most people find it cool. But independent stuff has so much better potential to be really good and the more creative freedom it has, the more potential it has to be that good. Now to be fair about it, just because a product has its cart blanch doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be unfiltered gold, there's a lot of independent movies however, that go to indie labels purely to be more trashy than Hollywood just for a cash grab. There's plenty of independent lesbian romance films (not too unlike the painfully unfunny romcoms made by Hollywood) or independent pothead comedies (there were plenty of these in the 90s and the indie movie did squat to make it different). But the independent scene at least has potential. My point is "cool" is just a word and something determined by society, it's another way of saying popular. And what's deemed popular can be anything and often interchanges anyhow. It's always better to not give a damn about "being cool," there was a football player once, who on camera said, "It's cool to be yourself.". Truer words were never spoken.
if most people are like that, it kind of calms me down because if everyone is doing their best to look good in front of me then i don't have to do the same work and i can just relax and enjoy it without worrying whether they like me or not, because they focus on themselves to please me...right?
thanks for this one J, touched me DEEP
You're so welcome!
06:15 is that the „militante Veganerin“? 😂😂😂
Yes she is it :D
This is gold. Thanks Julien
You’re welcome! 🙏
Can't find the book nowhere ('unity to change') online as Jhs mentions. Keep up the good work👍🏻
Immunity to change 👌
Money, money money!!!! Sharks(Women) can smell cool/confidence a mile away
I wish someone comes at me one day in the middle of a completely unrelated discussion and starts randomly ranting about veganism.
I wanna respond by clenching my teeth and my fists and yelling "RAAAAWWWWRRRR VEGAN YEAAAAAAHHHHH WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" just to see the reaction of both whoever I'm talking to and the vegan ranting person.
In LA trying not to be cool is the new cool. So ur still trying to be cool by trying not to be cool
Lol, you just met the"soldier-vegan", love you man. Stay healthy and keep on your thing. LG Tom
Helpful❤
Glad to hear it! 🙌
Loved the message in this video bro but even when I try to let go of things and not resist, my subconscious mind still isn’t quite letting me as I still get nervous when talking to people (especially girls). Is it because it takes time for my body to accept the fact that I let go or am I doing something wrong?
There are MANY subtle traps and mistakes people make when trying to let go... Let me know if you'd like my help identifying the one(s) you may be making: application.julienhimself.com 👌
@@JulienHimselfthank you brother
Hello there 🤙
Hey!
Why did she walk out the seminar? I don't get it, it's not political or anything.
I like how ppl pay for these classes when it’s on TH-cam 😂
I never had the world, so why change for it?
Amazing video 🎉🎉🎉
Thanks so much! What was your favorite part?
Bro got drippp 😊
Basically Kierkegaardian individual
Julian, can you do a video elaborating on the last minute of this video? Like how to get past it
well
I did that and now no one will talk to me
I just had to comment on the "mould me into what you want" sounds contradictory. Are we not talking about the importance of being authentic and yourself??
I workout for aesthetics but i feel like i only do it for others. Should i stop until i find a better reason?
Do it for yourself, do it for your health, do it because you want to most of all. Don't ever force yourself to do things you do not want to do.
This woman is called the "millitant vegan" in Germany but she is actually from Austria. I can't think of another person who was from Austria, ruled and screamed in Germany and was vegetarian 😅
I have a question Julien. After explanation of the value of what comes from the inside compared to outside, you depicted the motivation magnet as something from the outside... Can you have some short answer to that?
Right on.
Let us know your top takeaway! 🔥👊
That's the biggest kitchen I've ever seen.
7:35 gotta give it to Julien here. He acted pretty cool when that vegan protester interrupted his seminar. Who knows if that vegan protester interrupting was real or not but the advice seems solid: have solid frame but do not impose it. you won't charm people by forcing them. you probably won't even persuade them into your arguments by forcing them down throats. Be you and attract those who resonate with what you believe in.
When I try to be me and stop looking outwards I always get told im in the wrong and I feel like this terrible unlikable person
All theory
Well, am not on social media. I am my own social media; my imagination is my movie theater
He literally stands with Ukraine. 🇺🇦
Anyone got any good tips on how to step on the gas for the whole anger part ?
I figured out some stuff for grief (sad songs) and fear (horror games/movies), but I'm kinda stuck on how to get anger going.
It's really frustrating to feel it kinda close to the surface, but not being able to coax some of it out. (And before someone says frustration is anger, it is not the same as this excess shit inside, that feels fake in comparison)
Hi, same problem here, but i managed to tap into that before, Anger is a more energetic feeling so i think for someone that hasn't connected with it very frecuently would need the help of his tool "Transformation Levels" shown in other videos, it shows you the stage you're at before you can tap into an Anger state, also another thing that has worked for me is going to a memory where i've felt powerless and wanted to do something, that trigger makes me tap into it.
@@noeortiz9247 This whole powerless => revenge mechanic is what I was looking for, ty :D
In other videos you talk a lot about accepting also the parts within you that you normally would try to suppress. But with this demon analogy, it seems like, we would actually want to get rid of the demon, but isn't that also a part of our selfs? Or is it more a consequence of someone not accepting something within them and not an actual part of themself? It just sounds difficult in practice to differentiate between the true self and the consequences/behaviours derived from suppressing the true self. But maybe I am wrong and in practice you can actually feel the difference between what's truly you and what is just a little demon...
And he’s the best dresser
Ok. What about someone who's constantly changing their way/personality traits? Because that person does'nt have a "finished" frame.
help
Find the one you will like and stick with it, hell even try to combine with another trait you like, and then own it. Try to block negative traits and keep only the positive, nothing can stop us from having ups and downs in life, the change is within yourself to how you see things at an certain degree. is it really that negative or could it be worse. As long as we live we have the power to change things around us, including ourselves. Maybe you could try to be the better version of yourself by finding those traits, and try to make it yours in whatever situation you find yourself in. imo...
As a vegan: we do not claim her.
😂
when we gon link up?
now I just need to find out who I am...oh wait, I already know!
Maybe I am just stupid but I don’t understand. I need to stop try to being cool ? But when I am fully my self people just don’t treat me right. I need to play a role every time, like a serious and act charismatic ect ect
What you mean by "don't treat right"?
@@marevixopol lack of respect or just me feeling out of state
If you live as authentically as possible and don't base your self-worth on things out of your control you shouldn't care so much about what others think of you
if people don't treat you right when you act authentically then you aren't around the right people, it seems you're trying to cling to those people out of desperation even if you know that they aren't true friends.
@@user-nq3or1fl5hthis, your tribe is out there, i found mine by pursuing my passion to create music
you became cool for not caring
Love the mentality bro. Props!!
Thanks! 🔥👊
Great 👍
Being cool all the time is tiresome. I know chz ive been super cool for years. Now im super tired of it and super dont care. Thx.
all the people that think they are cool are super uncool in my opinion lol... so i guess fair is fair...they think im uncool and i think they are uncool
Have to better define "cool". Is it doing what the Money wants or going for the best culture to feed your head? From where I stand, everyone's gobbling corporate garbage like they were starving as soon as they had eaten. And that ain't cool.
Legendary Video😂🔥🔥
Thank you! 👊
boquita papa
Man u have content on job interviews? Or maybe just makin a first impression on people?
Yes! Check this out: www.highvibecommunication.com/bhvc 👌
Is he wearing bright clothes to take attention from his face to his legs?
Same with the sun glasses he wore in earlier videos.
Yes he just wants to show us his legs…. cmon man😂
These guys created a wave and never got credited. All these tik tok puas and lifestyle coaches take everything from these guys
The problem is, when you give up trying to be at your best, you end up like the guy in the soeedrunning video who got told “I don’t think you should talk anymore”. You become cringe and embarrassing, and your chances of getting a gf goes to zero. There has to be a level of a social acclimation, otherwise it’s gonna be really bad for you.
6:04 wtf? 😂🤣