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Hey, I'm from Poland and you made me realize how much I don't like and can't spend time alone with myself in silence doing nothing. I've had low self-esteem since elementary school because that's when I was rejected by a bunch of classmates. In high school, based on my previous experiences, I put on the mask of a quiet student without worries because when I tried to be "loud" others didn't like it, so I couldn't acclimatize in the classroom. Now i am pretty much alone and i often hear in my head that I am stupid and useless. Thanks to you, I still have a grain of hope. Thank you for your valuable lesson.
Thank you Julien, your words touched so closely to everything that I've been experiencing and haven't been able to express properly. How do you know inherently what is authentic and what isn't? How do you even begin to start showing up for yourself? When does the veil that separates us from one another fall away? We're all figuring it out slowly but surely. Stay blessed.
“Sink into it. Let it take over. Go into the discomfort. Go into the triggered sensations and feel them. And by being with them, the charge gets released. That’s how you open the closet and realize there was no monster.” To me this is the essence. Hard to apply in situations your stifledness gets triggered tho.
@@Julzwkd it is, that’s the point. Everything hard in life is usual a reward no matter what it is. Like jumping in a cold shower it sucks! But there’s a lot of benefits to it. People don’t think or care much about what you do. Best time to do it! Everyone looks crazy anyways 😅
Julien, I actually stumbled on your work not too long ago. I’m a disabled man in my 30s, and because of my physical disability, I’ve struggled with self-esteem / confidence, etc for years. But your work, the questions you ask your clients, as other commenters have said-it’s truly like you’re talking directly to me. Not to discount anyone else in your line of work-those people also deserve respect-but I’ve heard a lot of other methodologies; for some reason those methodologies didn’t / don’t resonate with me as deeply as your work does. You can clearly tell you know what you’re doing and talking about. Also, you’re absolutely hilarious, so much so that I find myself breathless-in the good way-legitimately cracking up, in tears laughing! Please keep up the fantastic work, man! You’re changing lives even if it is just through your TH-cam videos.
A quote i drummed up a few days ago. “When we stop trying to be someone we ‘think’ people want, is the moment when we become someone people need. “ Be your weird self. Own it. Beautiful work sir.
My weird self is the person that doesn't talk. This advice is contradictory lol. I'm already someone who lives life generally not caring about what others do. But it gets lonely. Being me prevents me from connecting to anyone. I kind of have to be someone else. Being outgoing is not authentic but it seems to be all most people react too and need for their connection ability. I would be such a boring boyfriend but I still yearn for human connection but how can I get that by being my weird self? Your advice might sound nice but it isn't practical. People need what works. Not what sounds good for the ego.
MY STORY WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY: Since I was little I was always authentic. I grew up in an environment in which my parents were very strict with me at school, the teachers punished me for talking too much, the classmates laughed at me for seeing me nervous in exhibitions, and then I became very shy. I finished my studies and hardly socialized, hence I generated social anxiety. Many years have passed since this has limited me in many areas of my life, my friends with wonderful relationships, happily married, even without being able to have a girlfriend, it has been very difficult. and how limiting it is to have social anxiety, I would like to have freedom again like when I was a child without fear of being seen as a freak or judged, these videos help me understand where these problems come from and I thank Julien for helping people who suffers from SOCIAL ANXIETY and gives us that hope of healing.
Wow im not alone, lets get through this brother💪🏼went through the same thing in school im literally traumatized now , but lately the mentality of I Don’t Care is helping me a lot whenever a thought comes to my mind of being annoying or judged by others because of who iam i just tell myself IDC and keep repeating it on my head and eventually it becomes reality i start realizing it doesn’t matter wtf they think.
What he's saying is actually so sad and true. I literally got goosebumps at the part where he used "wearing sunglasses" as an example of why we all became so lifeless and robotic since the day we were born. That was deep.
Dude. You've been giving out he blueprint for us for years. I recently re-discovered your work after writing it off as "self help bs". Boy, how wrong I was. I've recently come into a situation that caused me to lose everything I thought mattered. Spent this whole year depressed, beating myself up. Thank you Julien. You've reminded me that the man who I've always been has value, and is everything. I am good enough. Thank you so much.
I've lost everything a few times. The good part is you can really appreciate the small things. Now I help others and through giving I'm now receiving also! Really caring about others and being the bigger person that reaches out to people. It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. Maybe that lifestyle wasn't for you. I believe everything is meant to be! God opens up new and better doors for us! It's been a few months now that I lost everything due to addiction. Right now I'm feeling happier and less fear then I've ever felt in life. As long as we are still able to walk and breathe we are blessed. Good luck brother
Julien - thank you. Blows me away that you read and respond to all the comments. I am 60 years old, a reformed people pleaser, and have spent the vast majority of my life being a bug eater. I’ve had flashes of authenticity, but quickly went back to the bugs. Glad I found you. Your msg is legit. Leaning into the discomfort, facing the fear.. trigger, action let go, repeat. Thanks, Julien. Shit gets real…. and it thins out people wise. It’s that quote ‘I’d rather you hate me for who I am, than love me for who I am not’. Facing the monsters is the (only) way to go. Andrew
100% spot on every time. I'm finding the true loving outgoing self that was buried at childhood. I found it with alcohol but never was able to process my repressed sober issues. Drinking allowed me to connect with everyone around me and I loved that energy. Quit the alcohol almost 15 years ago and have been on the search for that freedom to be me without it. You have been the most valuable asset to understanding it all. Thanks again, Julien.
I think that might be the point lol i noticed it too. I guess if youre confident and know wtf youre talkin about people forget what you have on and remember how they made you feel
You reflect your professionalism with how you dress. This is his gimmick. It's his "costume". It tells me that i dont want to hear what he's got to say. But maybe I'm not his target age. Just look at the young folks in that room.
Honestly, I always tell to my friends who complain that they are bored, that I miss that feeling of being bored. I'm either too much involved, distracted or even feel overwhelmed of many activities coming and I DO MISS THE FEELING OF BEING BORED once in a while. It is a good time to let your creativity flow and do what you love than what needs to be done
This dude is changing peoples lives. Including mine I watched countless of his videos and everything i said about myself has changed for the better and never think negative about myself anymore. You guys are amazing and don’t let anyone tell you different. Only change if you want to not cuz somebody told you to change.
I get this. I’m a confident guy in most ways and I live a confident lifestyle! Yet my confidence can be compromised.. I don’t see it as a negative I see it as a simple reality every man encounters! Ive been asked and spoken about my confidence many times. I haven’t always lived confidently, my father destroyed my confidence in my youth, he worked me hard from a youngster and I was always told I was never good enough. When I became an adult my life began and I developed confidence over time! Ups n downs in confidence for sure but it came. My suggestions is to grind, do you, create the life you want in the situation your in! Find your path, wave at others from your path, never sway!
@ work on something, grind hard and create a path of your own! Confidence comes with action my friend! It will probably take time, if confidence is given to you it can be taken away just as easily! Best of luck!
Haha! Spot on! After another relationship failure I gave up and dropped the okay-ness, nice-ness and it'sallaboutyou-ness, I sat in my apartment alone and wondered how much of my life was actually me. That was five years ago and now I can proudly say I have genuine relationships, especially with myself, and I can't remember what it was like to have anxiety. My inner child has a loving parent now.
@chrislarry5884 Good question. Apologies if you did not expect a longish reply... Two things mainly; 1. I refused to have any more relationships with anyone else beyond those that I knew loved me for who I was no matter what (non-judgemental) I dropped all other relationships but was not rude to anyone. I was honest with them. That left me one friend overseas and my children (they are adults) 2. I happened to find a very good psychologist who showed me how to actually love myself. This is probably the most important step; the commitment to actually love yourself is paramount. And I don’t mean egotistically. To be brief, this psychologist taught me to use ‘Parts Therapy’ also known as Internal Family Systems Therapy to recognise how the ‘child’ parts of me were running my life, and not the ‘higher’ me. I learned to see things from my ‘higher’ self until it has become second nature. There is more to it but I’m trying to be brief! So, I now know how to relate with love, not judgement, to myself (my parts) and am totally responsible for them. I no longer act from the perspective of my parts; which means not acting out, being depressed or anxious. I also no longer rely on others to love me, it’s a bonus when they do so! I don’t make friends with people who are judgemental, but I accept them for who they are and don't play their games. Bonus point for reading this far! The process, in my case, led me to the logical conclusion that God exists. Hear me out a second. There is a time when I was doing this process of Parts Therapy, where I realised with horror that if I am the only one actually capable of loving myself, then-one can really ever love me like that. As if to save me at that point from nihilism, I made the conclusion that the only possible solution is that there must be an entity/force that loves me in the same way that I love my parts. And so I accepted that love was a mystery that I couldn’t comprehend but must accept or face oblivion. I chose to believe, and to know love; to know God in my small imperfect way. This has led to the peace and serenity I feel is within me at all times. I feel very much loved and pass it on to myself with humility. All the best to you!
@@AwazPk2.0 Good question. I will give you some more information. Please understand it is difficult to be detailed here, so I will summarise. After much suffering, I logically concluded that, as I am an adult, I will likely not change much and that the things I had done and felt would always be there. So I would meditate and forgive myself for every large and small thing that I had done, or that anyone had done to me. I not only forgave, but, in those moments, I felt Love for the first time in my life. The problem was that it would not last, and I failed many times because I am only human and I would forget to meditate, eventually be over-whelmed, and feel anxious again. But at least I knew what it felt like to not have anxiety for a short time! In time, I realised through logic, that this 'Love' and 'Forgiveness' could not always come from Me (because I would forget and become overwhelmed) and therefore I surmised (through logic) that the only way Love could be present permanently and constantly (unconditionally) in my life every hour of every day, was from a power greater than me. This realisation led to my personal discovery of God. What this means is that now I always feel loved, and forgiven, while I go about being the flawed and imperfect human that I am. Friend, I truly hope that helps you. Some might say it's just 'a coping mechanism' but truly, I have never felt so loved and anxiety-free as this time. Peace with you.
@@steveh8658Thank you for your fast reply.Can you please tell did you follow Julien's trail of whys and how did you meditate how you did the process of letting go please simply explain?
I had a severe anxious attachment episode some months back, to the point where i had to get into therapy as soon as possible. I found your videos around that time, and they've been helping me with my attachment issues so much. My self-esteem and sense of self was completely lost because I put my entire self into other people, only to not be capable of processing loss at all because I felt like i had no worth outside of others. Thank you for your work, it has been really helping me learn to love myself.
Same here girl. It was sooo deep and dark for a while… it’s been years since that “journey”, but now I feel nothing at all. Any loss afterwards, I become numb and forget it. Can’t remember weeks ago, or overall year spent with somebody. I can’t FEEL any of it in my body. Any of the “memories” or LIFE. Used to make music and songs online allll the time and gained thousands of followers, I really loved it. and now I Can’t even LISTEN to music anymore… it either doesn’t sound good or do anything, OR if there is a certain key or tempo or pitch that makes me FEEL like (?) I guess emotionally, I just feel instant anxiety within .3 seconds and have to turn it off…. I don’t know what the fuuuck happened. But- Just don’t shut it off… I. Read ur comment and knew EXACTLY what you were talking about. Intensely and entirely. Too much I guess… I got “through” it, and every “major” or bad or upsetting life event after that… Ig I just thought, based on thuan… I’m just not strong enough to handle that again, mentally. So I guess I just checked out. Of everything. It’s kinda bad.. I’m not me, and I don’t know where I am or went… Or what I’m doing or what I’ve BEEN doing or where I’m going. I am just CHECKED tf out andddd it’s going on like 2 years. So just don’t shut off… after you make it through this, and another troubling like change/struggle/event occurs… don’t shut offf. Know you’re stronger now because of it, not just weak and aware of it now lol. ❤️🛟
@@sperez3275 Hello kind stranger, I am so sorry you have been going through this. You might not like to hear this, but based on your description, I would recommend for your health that you seek professional help. If you need any support and help getting professional help, I could carve out some time to assist you or you could call the crisis helpline. I am only saying that because I know from experience sometimes when you're in so deep it's hard to get yourself the support you so desperately need. Take care kind stranger, and I do know what you are describing as far as your experience. I made it through with professional help
Hands down one of the best vids you’ve put out. So succinctly talks about all the work we have to do and what will happen if we do. It’s not easy like you said, but if we turn around and face the monster, we will realize nothing was there and we will get back to our authentic selves! Thank you
Hey Julien, I want to say your videos have really opened up a new perspective for me about social anxiety, and I thought I'd seen everything. I love the way you said "Fake it til you make it? What about being real until you remember"
when I listen to you, it's like doing the shadow work for me. thank you for doing what you do and showing the people who we truly are. it makes it easier to break down my own iceberg of bottled up emotions
Hey Julien, another popper! Thank you for the value you bring to us. My biggest take-away if I had to choose from all of them would be: Do not disown your past, show up as you are and dive into the dark pit that presented itself (for a reason), do not hold back being with yourself. AND HOW CAN I FORGET - Schedule in time to be bored with yourself!
Hello Julien, I don't know if you'll see this comment but I would like to thank you for your videos, especially this video. It's opened my eyes to see and seek my true self. I've recently started this journey. Wish you all the best.
At some point in my life, I wanted to become a coach. And Julien is one of those figures I follow in this coaching world since he really knows his stuff. The way he emits knowledge is something that people easily record in their mind due to the way he represents what's abstract with lots of sense of humor. That makes him really admirable, lovable over how authentic he is and how he displays confidence to people who really want to let it out in his conferences. Then again: thank you for your content, Julien. Really willing to express some of these fundaments to people towards the future in my own native language.
He's got both Anthony the Mello and Tyler Durden vibes 😂 Good thing! I've just discovered the channel and truly love it, the one about public speaking I really needed in my life right now.
@JulienHimself can you pleaseee write a book with all your teachings. I watch a bunch of your videos and I absolutely love your wisdom and how you give it over so clearly. For me books can help me to really internalize information through highlighting specific phrases that are powerful to me. This really helps me hold onto the important knowledge that I want to hold onto. It then serves as reference for me to help me in my personal journey. There are many good books out there but I feel like they are all missing something from what you teach. You somehow tie it all together in a practical way that makes sense. If you wud write a book I know I wud benefit tremendously from it on my journey towards self, and I KNOW many others will benefit from it as well. I know you have a lot on your plate but I beg of you please please consider undertaking this task of writing your book as it wud personally benefit me and many others. Thank you for all that you do! ❤️💪🙏
@@JulienHimself insta buy! your videos helped me a lot over the last weeks, and I often recommend you to friends or tell them phrases from your videos!
The part about always looking for tips and tricks to improve and endlessly watching different self improvement tip videos is so true. No matter how many tips and tricks you get its you that has to ultimately make the change and look within.
Julien, I love your newer videos. They hit so differently, much more focused on self-love - the real self-love. Helps me a lot and opens my eyes more and more. I've always wondered what role "physical trauma release" as in the book "Waking the Tiger" played for you? For me, it is and was a crucial part of my healing (and will be). In my view, some trauma can be so overwhelmingly scary, that "looking into the closet" and releasing the fear is only possible when you first leave the "freeze-state" and are victorious about what once traumatized you. Otherwise, you will always resist and close down in the face of those demons. Any thoughts on that?
I have a different story. I grew up being authentic and seperated myself from others because I realized I'd rather be who I am than have friends. BUT I also live with a bunch of shame and I cannot open up in groups. I feel like the "authenticity itself" might be a mask over my shame for being different. I feel like there's more to explore here
On top of that, what about the useful aspects of shame? And how do we integrate into society or work environments if our authenticity is threatening to others? What if our authentic selves are reckless or rule breakers or just prefer to be alone and not participate in work culture? I've lost jobs this way..
I had this realisation when I was a teenager that whenever you try to run away from painful experiences you only make them worse but if you go towards them and feel them they go away so much quicker .. it's almost like a Chinese finger trap the more you pull your fingers apart the harder it gets but if you push inwards you're released from the trap super easily .. I think that's why when he said he wanted them to sing I was just thinking of what song I know the lyrics to that I could sing rather than "I'm glad I'm not there!" .. Maybe that's why I'm insufferably confident. Confident enough to let others try to put me down and insult me, without it bothering me, cause to me that's about as effective as a fruit fly wanting to break my nose...
I’ve never been into TH-cam videos like this, or go to any speeches. BUT THIS WAS AMAZING!!! The perspective is so real and I agree with all of his points. Something in me really needed this. Thank you!!!!!
I just wanted to say thank you to you, Julien! You made me realize so many things and I am very grateful. I think I will never be able to express how much I am grateful. You should be more known, you would literally change the world, and all of us know the world need changes. You can see how you helped me by just seeing this comment (if you do). A few weeks back, I would have never wrote this comment, and know here I am, still a little triggered, but so much less. Hope you are doing fine, you deserve it
Julien, I spent my 'date night with myself' watching your videos on Saturday night and couldn't be more grateful. Thank you for reminding us of our truth.
3:18 I remember exactly when I first began to 'put my shades on'. I was 13 years old. It was a trauma event. Let's just say, seeing someone else's trauma, traumatized me. This was coupled with receiving unspeakable information about a family member. This was consecutive. I went from not having a care in the world and free, to paralyzing anxiety. All of my teenaged years are a blur. It is amazing how the mind works to try to protect us. I'm now 31, and can say that I am free again. Thanks be to God!
Grand Julien, authenticity reveals the essence of Being in power, that is, an attribute of the soul that becomes unbeatable in the natural perception of reality...
Life changing. Subscription ✅ Edit: You remind me of the mentors I've had over the years that passed away and I could never get their advice again until now... and I can't say how touched I am this channel exists.
Perfect as always, dear Julien. You are my holy book that harmonizes with my heart. However, I am concerned that the simplicity of this approach might not be taken seriously by others (us).
Oh my God. So I finished this video and put on a new jacket I bought and smiled and said you're going to wear this because you love playing dress ups! I literally made myself so happy!! Going to the shops in my new jacket with my head held high. (FYI I feel a little unworthy in new clothes) Dude your content is so original 👏 Thank you.
Dang it! Your content is just too good. Ive been holding myself up to a microscope recently. I had begun to realize just how thick and heavy my mask is. Im astonished to find many of the things you talk about mirror some of the concepts ive begun to form on my own. Im on the right track.
this video is perfect for me. I'm starting a new school in a few days and I'm super nervous! I made a lot of toxic friendships in my old school and i really want this to be a new start but im very quiet and i can come across as boring/dull/bland... im hoping to face my fears in this new chapter!
I must say, you are awesome! I realized so much in these few days, since I found your channel. I was frustrated and I just wished to find a way to let go of it for good and the day after, your video poped out and I did it! I'm so grateful, thank you so much! 🙏🏻❤
I just found your channel recently and a lot of it has already really resonated with me. I hope it's ok if I share some personal stuff that happened to me that might resonate with someone. About a year or two ago I dealt with an anonymous stalker online who harassed me for three years. They made my life a living hell because they decided they didn't like me as a person. They'd send me abusive messages, involved themselves in my personal life, and threatened to contact my estranged father just so they could try and hurt me. All because my happiness and authenticity was a threat to them. Making me miserable was what made them feel secure in themselves as a person. I've become stuck in a rut since then and the thought of posting any of my artwork, trying to win back that confidence again, terrifies me. No amount of therapy has helped me to get over that fear so I'm hoping to change therapists soon. It's not something I really enjoy having a fear of. I want to get over it and to just feel normal again. I don't want this person to hold such power over me. I hope by watching your channel, I can get some of that confidence back.
Yea this is so true. I so deeply resonated with the sunglasses analogy. I remember I had flashes of being authentic and putting sunglasses on all throughout growing up since I moved to the states. But ever since high school I stopped really showing this side of me with anyone and isolated myself from my class. I would only feel comfortable with the friends I made a grade above but even though I had a lot of fun I also wasn’t this spontaneous self. I had some what of people pleasing and sun glasses on. I now am in college and I wear these sunglasses pretty much all the time with anyone. It’s annoying but I’m willing to do the work to connect back with my authentic self and take my sunglasses off even though it’s hard because like Julien said the sunglasses feel like they are who you now are but they’re not.
Confidence isn't about being loud nor is it about having everyone focused on you. It's being confident with yourself and what you are capable of. You can be calm, relaxed and still be confident. Often truly confident people don't shout at all, they don't need to. They have a Confidence that you can feel even just being in the same room as them without them having to say anything. They listen to every word you speak without thinking of what they are going to say next or questioning how they are going to win some debate. When it's their time to speak, they take a moment to think about what they will say and how they will say it while feeling no need to rush, no matter how others may try to do so. That's Confidence.
Death is the constant reminder in my life of finding my truth. Going through my diet change now and realizing the inner lioness. I’ve been starving her and hunting for others to feel like I’m in a “tribe”. Ready to hunt and feel alive again. I’ve lost a lot of friends and family. What you say resonates mucho. It’s been a push and pull inside myself in feeling good in being with myself although being looked at as crazy for choosing to be alone. Thank you for speaking up your truth Julien. Not all social media is bad. I love all your different voice acting and references ❤
Mindblowing coaching on why, how and what to acknowledge, unlearn and RELEARN to be oneself. 👏👏👏👏👏 Julien & The participants who stood up, voiced out and came out in public. You are watched all across the world 🌍
Was making breakfast while Re-listening if that’s a word (probably not) and the moment the guy in the front responded with “being abandoned” genuinely made me and is currently making me well up with tears. I know exactly what feeling abandoned feels like. And I’m sure a ton of other people my age do too. Glad to know I’m not the only one.
This video is the real gold! All of the things you've said here sums up my story. 'The invisible chains' is what I call it, and the chains are the things said to me to make me keep my sunglasses on. Great great great information. Thanks Julian!!
I like how you are bringing awareness to spirituality and to just be real with people. It is truly inspiring I appreciate all the work you put in. Thank u julien 🙏
I used to be very confident and no social anxiety until bootcamp. Institutionalization is a real thing and somehow I never bounced back fully. Hopefully this will help.
Key to confidence is to drop all self concern, fear, shame, doubt, disgust, anger, humiliation, regret, pride, contempt, jealousy, etc etc etc… To realize that you understand how to do the right thing on your own terms without a drill Sargent or an authoritarian bossing you around in your head or in real life. To learn how to stand up for yourself and fight the internal conflict inside of you and everybody else… And to ultimately stop trying to escape your reality through religion, substance abuse, food, sex, and entertainment for the sake of approval… Don’t be an escapist… Why? Because you walk through the valley of the shadow of death… But you fear no evil… Don’t run away from your glasses, your ugly face, your fat body, your boring skin and hair color and try so hard to please other escapist by being no different than a cartoon that’s energetic and thrilling at all times for the sake of approval…. Don’t escape all of who and what you are for the sake of approval and comfort… Because your never going to find it. Instead…. Don’t just embrace who you are alone… But stand up for all of who you are and stand your ground and call yourself and everybody else out on the messed up ways your being treated unfairly… Don’t let anybody including yourself tell you to.. Fly and swim at the same time… Correct your correct statements with similar statements like 4+2=6 being incorrect because 2+4=6 is correct…. Only so that if you say it the other way around, your still wrong… Don’t allow yourself or anyone else put you in a lose lose situation in which you can’t possibly win… You have to stand up for who you are and learn to defend yourself… From a toxic inner voice… And from toxic external voices. Yelling and screaming at you for not making them feel COMFORTABLE ENOUGH!!!!! Because everybody is an escapist junkie one way or another feeling self concerned and sorry for themselves and sorry for others who feel self concerned and sorry for themselves…. All looking for a way to ESCAPE reality and run to the MATRIX in general… To live in their own augmented reality (their own little world) trying to escape that valley of the shadow of death, with what ever distraction or substance they can find… While they run away from unresolved internal conflict… Within themselves and others.. Making everybody have chips on their shoulders and sticks up their butts in unison…. Seeking out nothing but compensation and comfort… As well as someone to blame for making them feel threatened and uncomfortable… Turning them into toxic escapist junkies who only care about thrills and comfort. With all this unresolved internal conflict building up more and more and more until finally… Snap…. You felt so threatened, helpless, overwhelmed, self concerned, and sorry for yourself… That the fix you sought out to make it up to you.. Got bigger and bigger and bigger and more corrupt with time… While you treated yourself and everybody else like crap… Because with all that build up inside of you… Of course your going to feel nothing but negative emotions, feelings, thoughts, desires, and your choices will be limited on your limited amount of understanding, and you’ll be stupid enough to make… The wrong decisions… And wrath will wind up becoming your outlet at some point… as well as blame… And you will have turned to the dark side of the force.. Just like Darth Vader… 🤣🤣🤣 Becoming a threat to yourself and others… Also… Side effects include.. A.D.D., A.D.H.D., Bi Polar, disassociative personality disorder, schizophrenia, and psychosis…. Why??? The more and more and more unresolved internal conflict you have… The more you do your best to escape from reality… Because reality makes you feel threatened, helpless, overwhelmed, self concerned, and sorry for yourself enough… To want to do everything you can to escape. Because you lack the capacity and understanding to handle and manage internal and external conflict… Making you feel extremely high levels of anxiety, depression, self concern, fear, shame, doubt, disgust, anger, humiliation, regret, contempt, jealousy, and BEYOND!!! Why??? Because you always ran away from reality and ran away from conflict and did everything you could to avoid reality and avoid facing and confronting conflict… Because self absorbed ass holes told you that you were worthless while they told you to fly and swim at the same time, and they called you retarded regardless if you were right or wrong, and when you were small, there was nothing you could say or do about it because they constantly forced you into a lose lose situation, and you lacked the understanding and comprehension on how to properly stand up for yourself, and call out the deception… Instead… You decided to avoid and evade conflict within yourself and everybody else… You let that disgusting toxic inner voice win… And believe it or not… That disgusting toxic inner voice is whispering in everybody’s ears right now… Turning all against themselves and everybody else… Because a brain that stands against its self and everybody else… Is a brain that falls… Even a computer that stands against its self, Will stop functioning… And that’s exactly what a computer virus does… It turns a computer completely against its self, And the system crashes. Same exact thing happens with the human brain… For lack of a better understanding and information… lack of serious need to know information…. Oversights…. Our responses are limited only to how much we truly understand. Once we know who we really are and once we understand why that’s a good thing… Nobody can take that from us. And we will know were we stand, when we know that we won’t run away. And recede back into our uncomfortable shell… It takes allot of weed whacking to get from point A to point Z. That’s all there is to it.
@@Julzwkd I posted this a while back and I’m still learning as I grow… I take these sorts of formulas like anything else I take. From root cause, basic foundations, and I build them up. In psychology it’s like a computer. A Nero processing unit. Inductive and deductive reasoning. Storage of long term and short term memory. How trauma impacts inductive and deductive reasoning. And what I can tell you in my studies so far is as followed. Everything with the mind, like any other computer, is all about association. How we chose to associate with what we see is based on us and our personal experiences in this life. But the key difference between our minds and a computers mind is… Self preservation. Making us more subseptable to trauma. (Sorry, spelling sucks, bare with me) When a human being calculates a decision the formula is based on limitations and boundaries placed that accumulate over time creating a persons standards, expectations, and obligations based on what is least threatening vs most threatening… thus creating our personal, moral, and ethical preferences… We interpret examples that give us ideas and concepts, that give us reasons to believe perceive think feel chose desire and decide. Based on association. Say you get hungry. You interpret the example that you are hungry, that then gives you ideas and concepts, and so on… What compels you to personally prefer snacking on potato chips in front of you, rather than making a meal??? You feel threatened and uncomfortable with the idea of getting up, looking for pots and pans, turning on the stove, grabbing ingredients, so on and so fourth… As opposed to the sheer comfort of grabbing potato chips that are placed directly in front of you. The idea of personal preference being based on what threatens you, as opposed to what’s more comfortable in contrast.. Is born… And just think about how TRAUMA plays and important role in the deconstruction of the human brain in terms of irrational threats… Leading to irrational fear, shame, doubt, disgust, anger, and beyond. The human minds personal weakness.. Self preservation… It can be a strength simply turned against its self. This is why people who grow up in traumatic broken homes are more likely to develop irrational fear, shame, doubt, disgust, anger, humiliation, and beyond… Due to unresolved internal conflict based on rationalizing threats based on past traumatic experiences… Which explains a growth in Transgenderism, and the rest of LGBTQ+… People feel threatened, self concerned, helpless, and overwhelmed with socializing with people their own age of opposing genders… Not because of genetics… But rather… Because of trauma. The bases of allot of this trauma… Is based on how they perceive themselves in the eyes of others… Some people don’t feel adequate enough and blame parts and aspects of themselves for why they are so rejectable.. So they go about to change these aspects for the sake of approval, comfort, recognition, and beyond… Because they base their self worth on how much approval they can obtain from the vast majority. People’s personal beliefs are constantly being misguided by the corrupt pharma industries and major corperations who sell everybody on a lie… That their free to do as they please and express themselves however they wish… And yet… Their trapped doing only what is approvable by the vast majority in the name of radical acceptance of all immorality in the name of love, Unity, diversity, and beyond. They try to get everybody to identify with their traumas, fears, shames, doubts and beyond. So that people try to drown out their sorrows with expression, attention seeking, abusive behaviors, substance abuse, etc etc etc. Because people develop addictive personalities if their dealing with unresolved internal conflict. Pharmacy industry just drugs everybody to keep it going.
I love being clean shaved and normal haircut suits me the best should I purposely Grow my beard and hairs just to make me uncomfortable or should I be okay with my haircut habits... I authentically love to be neat and clean though what's your view sir?
One thing that is paradoxical that should probably be acknowledged is that being yourself needs to be offset with self awareness of how you effect others. Is it being yourself if you are being rude or annoying to other people? To some extent you have to accept that you will put some people off, but how do you draw the line between what is yourself and what needs improvement? I think a lot of people are put into that box type personality because they have a hard time deciphering which social norms should be followed and which should be ignored. I know people that are insanely good socially, but it leads to a personality where they are often contradictive to how they act. I personally need to restrain my personality because I have a habit of saying rude or naiive things I don’t mean because I’m riffing.
The harsh truth is that i can relate with many things that he says like with the view that all are your enemies, but slowly i start to realize that many people only want the best for me and that Im worth it to be loved and be all by himself, because you are your best friend and own soulmate. Only you go through the moments that you can share with others.
Hi brother Thank you for publishing this video, you have no idea how it made a impact on me. Really appreciate your help on people like us. I feel like I can also be more authentic and reclaim the inner Simba.
This is really powerful!!! Thank you for making this so clear. You are bringing to light that we have control over what we think. And we can reframe everything and deprogram are distorted thinking. Thank you Julian❤
It took the death of my loving dog, to realized i would lose everyone i love at some point in my life or even the chance of dying myself before them, but since the realization, i would have many break downs a lot that scared my family and some faced alone, i felt so much pain, but just like you said i felt a shift, i suffered and suffered mentally inflicting must with this emotional distress then now becoming someone who dealing with things that are out of my control and things that were at one time, I’ve bared misplaced hatred for my biological father because of what people told me, and while i felt that he was alive, then with more years that passed it back an ease for me to accept his death and believed at the time i didnt need my father he abandoned me im used to it, i have everyone i need here, then im a son of a single parent and our relationship wasn’t the best at first becuase she fought her own demons and tried to take care of me, my grandparents were always involved with everything that had to do with my sister and i but to my previous point, i had to understand, life isn’t perfect, my father was a child at some point too and lost himself to inevitably get himself killed, and so i will never get the opportunity to build a relationship with him in this life time, i used to be very hostile with all my family members even lash out because i felt backed in to a corner at an older age i got emotional and lashed out, but its like who that was wasn’t me, but i was fight something internally i just didn’t know what, but now i show all the love and respect everyone I truly love deserve even if they’ve caused my harm, we were all in bad places, but the journal is long and painful but the benefit of facing your demons and winning give you confidence like no other, i struggled with a lot of wondering what people thought of me, hell maybe i still do a little, but for whatever happened to me in this shift, I’ve took my mental life so seriously that i want to do anything and everything and just be the best, and i dont know where that fire comes from, but everything had to happen the way it did so we can face them and be who we truly are, and that is you are the same person as you are back then to right now, your all of you in your entire existence, to face ones self and conquer himself, i still have alot to go threw but with what I’ve learned so far and this inspiring video, i feel more myself 10 fold, so thank you so much for the bottom and new found part of my heart, thank you
I tell you what, I suffered with hypochondria for 6 years after a accidental drug overdose at a party, I always thought I was gonna die and if fucking ruined my life for so long. I got so angry at the fact I felt so awful all the time and when I decided to " turn around and face it" it became powerless, and it disappeared. I then realized the power I had within myself to decide what to be anxious about, and when you said that very sentence, it resonated with me so well and I hope that others read this to know it really does work. Sometimes it takes you to your absolute limit before you finally find the courage to do it, but the sooner you do, the sooner you will be free from your own chains. You'll only regret it when you're old and you wasted all that time giving energy to something that only caused you pain and misery. We only have one life, let it the fuck go. Second video I've seen of yours and I'm still on my journey to breaking free of other issues I have, that'll ultimately have to face at some point soon, but I'd rather do it on my terms than someone else's. Thank you for this.
I wrote this about 7 minutes into the video, and what I said about my experience, you just reiterated at 20 minute mark. Completely legit, you speak the truth man.
I am a fairly decent looking guy but I have bad bad teeth. Not all but 2 of them are visible when I smile. You say don’t get attached to things on the outside but would this qualify as an exception? I can’t help but to feel horrible about it. It’s going to cost me 14k out of pocket which is going to take me over a year to save up. I feel like it would be life changing for me. Just being able to smile with teeth
Te escribo en español porque soy de Argentina pero escucho todos tus videos, me están ayudando mucho a encontrarme en serio con quién en verdad soy, a veces se vuelve muy incómodo y me sirve que cuentes que el proceso no es tan lindo como lo suelen mostrar (still worth it). Thank you🙏🏼
I have to admit that these new videos I'm seeing from you are very good. Pouring out deep truths and wisdom and putting it into everyday contemporary language. A lot of this really hit home with me. Keep up the good work.
Great session. I feel everything always leads back to the point you're making, focus on yourself irregardless what the external factors are. I think this is true and to an extent it always points towards Buddha and the way he lived his life!
Dude I did a ton of work on myself last year and I started asking these questions, without having watched any video. I just started feeling that my issues had something to do with me feeling tense, feeling like I couldn't be myself. I started to think but when did I feel like myself? And I was around 4. I was 29 at that time and it hurt so bad to see the damage in yourself, that you acted to protect that small child and now you are a fucking adult STILL protecting the child. I felt stupid, I felt really sick, I felt like I was abused again, but by me. I never looked at my own self and I made me suffer. I suffered because of ME. I commited to being genuine. That's mainly it. I started to feel my feelings and then stopped talking bad to myself. I felt comfortable in being triggered. I used to fear my monster, I actually attended neurofeedback to release that. I was so scared to express myself that I ended up in a job I hated and didn't speak up until it was too late. My life would have been different if I realized this sooner, of course, but I'm glad I did it now. I wished I never had to put on the mask in the first place, but now I'm out of it. My mask was very thick and heavy. I think people still saw through it and I wasn't liked that much because of it. I lost a lot and I gained a lot. I did feel that I started from scratch, I felt scared, but now I feel better.
Some deliriously good stuff right here! Currently trying to accept the parts of myself I most deeply dislike. In terms of beliefs… once you’ve managed to let go of the limiting/stifling ones, do you actively choose new ones? Or more try and see reality for what it is without relying on artificial belief systems?
True, but a lot of men are not loud at all. They speak very soft and don't have the courage to speak even a bit louder. Real confidence is when you can do both but prefer not to be.
Gotta date myself more! But also do more of what I know I need to do for myself, so that I know I can trust myself and grow confident that I got my own back. Interesting take: If I am distracting myself on my phone when I could have me time is as disrespectful like scrolling on a date.
12:00 can someone PLEASE give perspective or knowledge cause ive favoured everything hes said but confused on this. i thought pushing yourself to do the thing more, IS when youre doing the 'feeling it' and 'releasing it' and tapping into the moment/discomfort. cause how else, i mean i thought that was the strat but hes saying otherwise?
Hey Jay, what he is talking of is, releasing the fear at the core in the unconscious. If you try to do it the conscious way, you can go through it by pushing through, but then you may not necessarily release the topic at the core. It is staying and acknowledging that feeling, at first. Realizing, that you won't die. When you realized that, you are moving not through a push from the inside but from your inner true self. 🫶
Julien I love you dude, I kinda wish I was in the audience sometimes so I can be an example. I just find myself nodding and agreeing with everything you say because well… YOU JUST GET IT BRO. THIS IS THE STUFF PEOPLE RIGHT HERE.
You're a really great communicator. You actually give useful advise that can change our perspective of how we internalise and deal with our problems, ultimately improving our social interactions and situations. Very inspiring & valuable. Thank you for being you, and making us thankful for being us :)
This was the most impactful video since a long time, coming at me exactly at the moment where I needed it and actually started rediving in the work. Big big thx 🙏❤
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Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . .
You’re a great speaker!! Youre tonality is on point, Its always getting better! Keep it up💪👌
Hey, I'm from Poland and you made me realize how much I don't like and can't spend time alone with myself in silence doing nothing. I've had low self-esteem since elementary school because that's when I was rejected by a bunch of classmates. In high school, based on my previous experiences, I put on the mask of a quiet student without worries because when I tried to be "loud" others didn't like it, so I couldn't acclimatize in the classroom. Now i am pretty much alone and i often hear in my head that I am stupid and useless. Thanks to you, I still have a grain of hope. Thank you for your valuable lesson.
@@abel6298 nobody asked you Mr pdofile
Thank you Julien, your words touched so closely to everything that I've been experiencing and haven't been able to express properly. How do you know inherently what is authentic and what isn't? How do you even begin to start showing up for yourself? When does the veil that separates us from one another fall away? We're all figuring it out slowly but surely. Stay blessed.
“Sink into it. Let it take over. Go into the discomfort. Go into the triggered sensations and feel them. And by being with them, the charge gets released. That’s how you open the closet and realize there was no monster.”
To me this is the essence. Hard to apply in situations your stifledness gets triggered tho.
It works I became a whole new person doing everything I was scared to do even if I embarrassed myself I came out a shell
@@BayStarBabyi might as well try that im so happy it worked for you
@@Julzwkd it is, that’s the point. Everything hard in life is usual a reward no matter what it is. Like jumping in a cold shower it sucks! But there’s a lot of benefits to it. People don’t think or care much about what you do. Best time to do it! Everyone looks crazy anyways 😅
@@Julzwkd all ways try to tell myself no amount of regret can change the past no amount of anxiety can change the future
@@Julzwkd you’re always welcome to message me if you need to talk bud!
Julien, I actually stumbled on your work not too long ago. I’m a disabled man in my 30s, and because of my physical disability, I’ve struggled with self-esteem / confidence, etc for years. But your work, the questions you ask your clients, as other commenters have said-it’s truly like you’re talking directly to me. Not to discount anyone else in your line of work-those people also deserve respect-but I’ve heard a lot of other methodologies; for some reason those methodologies didn’t / don’t resonate with me as deeply as your work does. You can clearly tell you know what you’re doing and talking about. Also, you’re absolutely hilarious, so much so that I find myself breathless-in the good way-legitimately cracking up, in tears laughing! Please keep up the fantastic work, man! You’re changing lives even if it is just through your TH-cam videos.
A quote i drummed up a few days ago.
“When we stop trying to be someone we ‘think’ people want, is the moment when we become someone people need. “
Be your weird self. Own it.
Beautiful work sir.
Written two posts below yours:
"I'd rather you hate me for who I am than love me for who I am not."
It's just different wording.
My weird self is the person that doesn't talk. This advice is contradictory lol. I'm already someone who lives life generally not caring about what others do. But it gets lonely. Being me prevents me from connecting to anyone. I kind of have to be someone else. Being outgoing is not authentic but it seems to be all most people react too and need for their connection ability. I would be such a boring boyfriend but I still yearn for human connection but how can I get that by being my weird self? Your advice might sound nice but it isn't practical. People need what works. Not what sounds good for the ego.
"They might leave you, abandon you, reject you, but internally you stop doing that to yourself" I really love this line 💛
That's golden
MY STORY WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY: Since I was little I was always authentic. I grew up in an environment in which my parents were very strict with me at school, the teachers punished me for talking too much, the classmates laughed at me for seeing me nervous in exhibitions, and then I became very shy. I finished my studies and hardly socialized, hence I generated social anxiety. Many years have passed since this has limited me in many areas of my life, my friends with wonderful relationships, happily married, even without being able to have a girlfriend, it has been very difficult. and how limiting it is to have social anxiety, I would like to have freedom again like when I was a child without fear of being seen as a freak or judged, these videos help me understand where these problems come from and I thank Julien for helping people who suffers from SOCIAL ANXIETY and gives us that hope of healing.
Thank you for sharing ❤️ I hope we can all be better in time
great share. Julien is great at sharing those truths.
I'm on the same journey man... Hold strong, we'll find a way through this.
Wow im not alone, lets get through this brother💪🏼went through the same thing in school im literally traumatized now , but lately the mentality of I Don’t Care is helping me a lot whenever a thought comes to my mind of being annoying or judged by others because of who iam i just tell myself IDC and keep repeating it on my head and eventually it becomes reality i start realizing it doesn’t matter wtf they think.
Your not alone Brother we will get through this
What he's saying is actually so sad and true.
I literally got goosebumps at the part where he used "wearing sunglasses" as an example of why we all became so lifeless and robotic since the day we were born.
That was deep.
Glad this spoke to you on such a deep level! 🙏
@@JulienHimself🐐
I also got goosebump too. it s like a spark of light in the day eventhough I am depressed
how u doin now? @@datnguyenquoc5827
Be bored is the worst feeling but have the most impact of your live, because you must be with yourself.
Love being with myself. Would solve all my problems 😅
Dude. You've been giving out he blueprint for us for years. I recently re-discovered your work after writing it off as "self help bs". Boy, how wrong I was. I've recently come into a situation that caused me to lose everything I thought mattered. Spent this whole year depressed, beating myself up.
Thank you Julien. You've reminded me that the man who I've always been has value, and is everything. I am good enough. Thank you so much.
Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . .
@@abel6298 why do you think that will help me?
@@abel6298Amen
@@abel6298shove it Bible thumper
I've lost everything a few times. The good part is you can really appreciate the small things. Now I help others and through giving I'm now receiving also! Really caring about others and being the bigger person that reaches out to people. It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. Maybe that lifestyle wasn't for you. I believe everything is meant to be! God opens up new and better doors for us! It's been a few months now that I lost everything due to addiction. Right now I'm feeling happier and less fear then I've ever felt in life. As long as we are still able to walk and breathe we are blessed. Good luck brother
Julien - thank you. Blows me away that you read and respond to all the comments. I am 60 years old, a reformed people pleaser, and have spent the vast majority of my life being a bug eater. I’ve had flashes of authenticity, but quickly went back to the bugs. Glad I found you. Your msg is legit. Leaning into the discomfort, facing the fear.. trigger, action let go, repeat.
Thanks, Julien. Shit gets real…. and it thins out people wise. It’s that quote ‘I’d rather you hate me for who I am, than love me for who I am not’. Facing the monsters is the (only) way to go. Andrew
I'm glad my content resonates with you! Authenticity is all! 🙏
Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . .
Did you have my exact issue?
@@abel6298 again nobody asked you.
That’s not him! That’s one of his bot’s workers! lol
100% spot on every time. I'm finding the true loving outgoing self that was buried at childhood. I found it with alcohol but never was able to process my repressed sober issues. Drinking allowed me to connect with everyone around me and I loved that energy. Quit the alcohol almost 15 years ago and have been on the search for that freedom to be me without it. You have been the most valuable asset to understanding it all. Thanks again, Julien.
Bro be wearing whatever and still look cool😎
🕺🕺
I think that might be the point lol i noticed it too. I guess if youre confident and know wtf youre talkin about people forget what you have on and remember how they made you feel
Honestly don’t care what he’s wearing, I like what he’s saying
You reflect your professionalism with how you dress. This is his gimmick. It's his "costume". It tells me that i dont want to hear what he's got to say. But maybe I'm not his target age. Just look at the young folks in that room.
it's the confidence and vibe not the fit
Honestly, I always tell to my friends who complain that they are bored, that I miss that feeling of being bored. I'm either too much involved, distracted or even feel overwhelmed of many activities coming and I DO MISS THE FEELING OF BEING BORED once in a while. It is a good time to let your creativity flow and do what you love than what needs to be done
This was the best event I've ever been to.
Thanks for making it out in person!! Glad it was impactful! 🙏
The man himself??? Damnnnn
yo this julien guy's insane, i've never felt my mind expand so much
Glad this was so impactful for you! 🔥👊
This dude is changing peoples lives. Including mine I watched countless of his videos and everything i said about myself has changed for the better and never think negative about myself anymore. You guys are amazing and don’t let anyone tell you different. Only change if you want to not cuz somebody told you to change.
Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . .
@@abel6298 This is the wrong way to do it.
I get this. I’m a confident guy in most ways and I live a confident lifestyle! Yet my confidence can be compromised.. I don’t see it as a negative I see it as a simple reality every man encounters!
Ive been asked and spoken about my confidence many times.
I haven’t always lived confidently, my father destroyed my confidence in my youth, he worked me hard from a youngster and I was always told I was never good enough. When I became an adult my life began and I developed confidence over time! Ups n downs in confidence for sure but it came.
My suggestions is to grind, do you, create the life you want in the situation your in! Find your path, wave at others from your path, never sway!
Can you you please tell how to be confident again? How did you get your confidence back how much time it took?
?
@ work on something, grind hard and create a path of your own! Confidence comes with action my friend! It will probably take time, if confidence is given to you it can be taken away just as easily! Best of luck!
@CHUNKYNUGGET666 can you tell how much did you take please?
Haha! Spot on! After another relationship failure I gave up and dropped the okay-ness, nice-ness and it'sallaboutyou-ness, I sat in my apartment alone and wondered how much of my life was actually me. That was five years ago and now I can proudly say I have genuine relationships, especially with myself, and I can't remember what it was like to have anxiety. My inner child has a loving parent now.
This is so wholesome
@chrislarry5884 Good question. Apologies if you did not expect a longish reply...
Two things mainly;
1. I refused to have any more relationships with anyone else beyond those that I knew loved me for who I was no matter what (non-judgemental) I dropped all other relationships but was not rude to anyone. I was honest with them. That left me one friend overseas and my children (they are adults)
2. I happened to find a very good psychologist who showed me how to actually love myself. This is probably the most important step; the commitment to actually love yourself is paramount. And I don’t mean egotistically. To be brief, this psychologist taught me to use ‘Parts Therapy’ also known as Internal Family Systems Therapy to recognise how the ‘child’ parts of me were running my life, and not the ‘higher’ me. I learned to see things from my ‘higher’ self until it has become second nature. There is more to it but I’m trying to be brief!
So, I now know how to relate with love, not judgement, to myself (my parts) and am totally responsible for them. I no longer act from the perspective of my parts; which means not acting out, being depressed or anxious. I also no longer rely on others to love me, it’s a bonus when they do so! I don’t make friends with people who are judgemental, but I accept them for who they are and don't play their games.
Bonus point for reading this far!
The process, in my case, led me to the logical conclusion that God exists. Hear me out a second. There is a time when I was doing this process of Parts Therapy, where I realised with horror that if I am the only one actually capable of loving myself, then-one can really ever love me like that. As if to save me at that point from nihilism, I made the conclusion that the only possible solution is that there must be an entity/force that loves me in the same way that I love my parts. And so I accepted that love was a mystery that I couldn’t comprehend but must accept or face oblivion. I chose to believe, and to know love; to know God in my small imperfect way. This has led to the peace and serenity I feel is within me at all times. I feel very much loved and pass it on to myself with humility.
All the best to you!
Can you please tell how you got rid of anxiety and having a genuinely relationship with yourself? How to you became confident?
@@AwazPk2.0 Good question. I will give you some more information. Please understand it is difficult to be detailed here, so I will summarise.
After much suffering, I logically concluded that, as I am an adult, I will likely not change much and that the things I had done and felt would always be there. So I would meditate and forgive myself for every large and small thing that I had done, or that anyone had done to me. I not only forgave, but, in those moments, I felt Love for the first time in my life.
The problem was that it would not last, and I failed many times because I am only human and I would forget to meditate, eventually be over-whelmed, and feel anxious again. But at least I knew what it felt like to not have anxiety for a short time!
In time, I realised through logic, that this 'Love' and 'Forgiveness' could not always come from Me (because I would forget and become overwhelmed) and therefore I surmised (through logic) that the only way Love could be present permanently and constantly (unconditionally) in my life every hour of every day, was from a power greater than me.
This realisation led to my personal discovery of God. What this means is that now I always feel loved, and forgiven, while I go about being the flawed and imperfect human that I am.
Friend, I truly hope that helps you. Some might say it's just 'a coping mechanism' but truly, I have never felt so loved and anxiety-free as this time. Peace with you.
@@steveh8658Thank you for your fast reply.Can you please tell did you follow Julien's trail of whys and how did you meditate how you did the process of letting go please simply explain?
I had a severe anxious attachment episode some months back, to the point where i had to get into therapy as soon as possible. I found your videos around that time, and they've been helping me with my attachment issues so much. My self-esteem and sense of self was completely lost because I put my entire self into other people, only to not be capable of processing loss at all because I felt like i had no worth outside of others. Thank you for your work, it has been really helping me learn to love myself.
Same here girl. It was sooo deep and dark for a while… it’s been years since that “journey”, but now I feel nothing at all. Any loss afterwards, I become numb and forget it. Can’t remember weeks ago, or overall year spent with somebody. I can’t FEEL any of it in my body. Any of the “memories” or LIFE. Used to make music and songs online allll the time and gained thousands of followers, I really loved it. and now I Can’t even LISTEN to music anymore… it either doesn’t sound good or do anything, OR if there is a certain key or tempo or pitch that makes me FEEL like (?) I guess emotionally, I just feel instant anxiety within .3 seconds and have to turn it off…. I don’t know what the fuuuck happened. But- Just don’t shut it off… I. Read ur comment and knew EXACTLY what you were talking about. Intensely and entirely. Too much I guess… I got “through” it, and every “major” or bad or upsetting life event after that… Ig I just thought, based on thuan… I’m just not strong enough to handle that again, mentally. So I guess I just checked out. Of everything. It’s kinda bad.. I’m not me, and I don’t know where I am or went… Or what I’m doing or what I’ve BEEN doing or where I’m going. I am just CHECKED tf out andddd it’s going on like 2 years. So just don’t shut off… after you make it through this, and another troubling like change/struggle/event occurs… don’t shut offf. Know you’re stronger now because of it, not just weak and aware of it now lol. ❤️🛟
@@sperez3275
Hello kind stranger,
I am so sorry you have been going through this. You might not like to hear this, but based on your description, I would recommend for your health that you seek professional help. If you need any support and help getting professional help, I could carve out some time to assist you or you could call the crisis helpline. I am only saying that because I know from experience sometimes when you're in so deep it's hard to get yourself the support you so desperately need.
Take care kind stranger, and I do know what you are describing as far as your experience. I made it through with professional help
Hands down one of the best vids you’ve put out. So succinctly talks about all the work we have to do and what will happen if we do. It’s not easy like you said, but if we turn around and face the monster, we will realize nothing was there and we will get back to our authentic selves! Thank you
Hey Julien, I want to say your videos have really opened up a new perspective for me about social anxiety, and I thought I'd seen everything. I love the way you said "Fake it til you make it? What about being real until you remember"
when I listen to you, it's like doing the shadow work for me. thank you for doing what you do and showing the people who we truly are. it makes it easier to break down my own iceberg of bottled up emotions
Hey Julien, another popper!
Thank you for the value you bring to us. My biggest take-away if I had to choose from all of them would be:
Do not disown your past, show up as you are and dive into the dark pit that presented itself (for a reason), do not hold back being with yourself. AND HOW CAN I FORGET - Schedule in time to be bored with yourself!
This guy described my whole life issue that I've been searching for over 2 years in just 2 sentences!!
Hello Julien, I don't know if you'll see this comment but I would like to thank you for your videos, especially this video. It's opened my eyes to see and seek my true self. I've recently started this journey. Wish you all the best.
As a psychologist I 200% support this message. What a talent, truly truly helpful, funny and serious at the core. Superb job 🎉
At some point in my life, I wanted to become a coach. And Julien is one of those figures I follow in this coaching world since he really knows his stuff. The way he emits knowledge is something that people easily record in their mind due to the way he represents what's abstract with lots of sense of humor. That makes him really admirable, lovable over how authentic he is and how he displays confidence to people who really want to let it out in his conferences.
Then again: thank you for your content, Julien. Really willing to express some of these fundaments to people towards the future in my own native language.
Thank you so much! Glad my content really connects with you! 🙏
He's got both Anthony the Mello and Tyler Durden vibes 😂 Good thing! I've just discovered the channel and truly love it, the one about public speaking I really needed in my life right now.
Thanks!
@JulienHimself can you pleaseee write a book with all your teachings. I watch a bunch of your videos and I absolutely love your wisdom and how you give it over so clearly. For me books can help me to really internalize information through highlighting specific phrases that are powerful to me. This really helps me hold onto the important knowledge that I want to hold onto. It then serves as reference for me to help me in my personal journey. There are many good books out there but I feel like they are all missing something from what you teach. You somehow tie it all together in a practical way that makes sense. If you wud write a book I know I wud benefit tremendously from it on my journey towards self, and I KNOW many others will benefit from it as well. I know you have a lot on your plate but I beg of you please please consider undertaking this task of writing your book as it wud personally benefit me and many others. Thank you for all that you do! ❤️💪🙏
Thank you! I'm actually planning on writing a book next year! 👌
@@JulienHimself insta buy! your videos helped me a lot over the last weeks, and I often recommend you to friends or tell them phrases from your videos!
@@JulienHimself Thank You So Much 🥳🥳🥳🙏🤍🤩
I second this. Yes! I already know it’s gonna be a masterpiece!
@@JulienHimselfPre-ordering it immediately 🎉
The part about always looking for tips and tricks to improve and endlessly watching different self improvement tip videos is so true. No matter how many tips and tricks you get its you that has to ultimately make the change and look within.
Thank you Universe for leading me to this channel. I AM A FUCKING LION AND I AM WORTHY OF LOVE.
Julien, I love your newer videos. They hit so differently, much more focused on self-love - the real self-love. Helps me a lot and opens my eyes more and more.
I've always wondered what role "physical trauma release" as in the book "Waking the Tiger" played for you? For me, it is and was a crucial part of my healing (and will be).
In my view, some trauma can be so overwhelmingly scary, that "looking into the closet" and releasing the fear is only possible when you first leave the "freeze-state" and are victorious about what once traumatized you. Otherwise, you will always resist and close down in the face of those demons. Any thoughts on that?
Letting go happens through FEELING, yes... Here's the method that I personally use for this: www.julienhimself.com/8p 👌
I have a different story. I grew up being authentic and seperated myself from others because I realized I'd rather be who I am than have friends. BUT I also live with a bunch of shame and I cannot open up in groups. I feel like the "authenticity itself" might be a mask over my shame for being different. I feel like there's more to explore here
On top of that, what about the useful aspects of shame? And how do we integrate into society or work environments if our authenticity is threatening to others? What if our authentic selves are reckless or rule breakers or just prefer to be alone and not participate in work culture? I've lost jobs this way..
@@MissLidaMarry me
I had this realisation when I was a teenager that whenever you try to run away from painful experiences you only make them worse but if you go towards them and feel them they go away so much quicker .. it's almost like a Chinese finger trap the more you pull your fingers apart the harder it gets but if you push inwards you're released from the trap super easily .. I think that's why when he said he wanted them to sing I was just thinking of what song I know the lyrics to that I could sing rather than "I'm glad I'm not there!" .. Maybe that's why I'm insufferably confident. Confident enough to let others try to put me down and insult me, without it bothering me, cause to me that's about as effective as a fruit fly wanting to break my nose...
Nothing can make you feel better than the feeling you provide for yourself - An addict his ENTIRE 36 year old life
I’ve never been into TH-cam videos like this, or go to any speeches. BUT THIS WAS AMAZING!!! The perspective is so real and I agree with all of his points. Something in me really needed this. Thank you!!!!!
You have a true gift! So easy to understand how to work on myself now.
I just wanted to say thank you to you, Julien! You made me realize so many things and I am very grateful. I think I will never be able to express how much I am grateful. You should be more known, you would literally change the world, and all of us know the world need changes.
You can see how you helped me by just seeing this comment (if you do). A few weeks back, I would have never wrote this comment, and know here I am, still a little triggered, but so much less. Hope you are doing fine, you deserve it
Congrats on your progress! And thank you so much for you comment! 🙏
Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . .
@@JulienHimselfthank you!
@@JulienHimself thanks julien,Thank you for changing my life
Julien, I spent my 'date night with myself' watching your videos on Saturday night and couldn't be more grateful. Thank you for reminding us of our truth.
ik you be taking the smelliest dumps
3:18 I remember exactly when I first began to 'put my shades on'. I was 13 years old. It was a trauma event. Let's just say, seeing someone else's trauma, traumatized me. This was coupled with receiving unspeakable information about a family member. This was consecutive. I went from not having a care in the world and free, to paralyzing anxiety. All of my teenaged years are a blur. It is amazing how the mind works to try to protect us. I'm now 31, and can say that I am free again. Thanks be to God!
Amen brother 🙏🏻
Damn How Good this is preformed! I’ve been a coach for 8 years and never seen a better lecture!
Grand Julien, authenticity reveals the essence of Being in power, that is, an attribute of the soul that becomes unbeatable in the natural perception of reality...
I don’t know how this guy came in my feed, but this information is Gold. Thank you.
Being in touch with you inner child is such a big thing. Just ask yourself would you, as a child be proud or even be friends with who you are now
Life changing. Subscription ✅
Edit: You remind me of the mentors I've had over the years that passed away and I could never get their advice again until now... and I can't say how touched I am this channel exists.
this should have millions of views, seriously !!! THIS IS GOLD
Perfect as always, dear Julien. You are my holy book that harmonizes with my heart. However, I am concerned that the simplicity of this approach might not be taken seriously by others (us).
Oh my God. So I finished this video and put on a new jacket I bought and smiled and said you're going to wear this because you love playing dress ups! I literally made myself so happy!!
Going to the shops in my new jacket with my head held high. (FYI I feel a little unworthy in new clothes)
Dude your content is so original 👏
Thank you.
Dang it! Your content is just too good. Ive been holding myself up to a microscope recently. I had begun to realize just how thick and heavy my mask is. Im astonished to find many of the things you talk about mirror some of the concepts ive begun to form on my own. Im on the right track.
this video is perfect for me. I'm starting a new school in a few days and I'm super nervous! I made a lot of toxic friendships in my old school and i really want this to be a new start but im very quiet and i can come across as boring/dull/bland... im hoping to face my fears in this new chapter!
Good luck!
Has it started? If so, how’s it gone?
Rooting for you! How’s it going so far?
I must say, you are awesome! I realized so much in these few days, since I found your channel.
I was frustrated and I just wished to find a way to let go of it for good and the day after, your video poped out and I did it!
I'm so grateful, thank you so much! 🙏🏻❤
Amazing to hear! Glad my content has been helpful for you! 🙏
Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . .
Julien is very underrated he help me come out of my shell and become more social and my confidence is improving
Nice! Glad my videos have been helpful for you! 🙌
I just found your channel recently and a lot of it has already really resonated with me. I hope it's ok if I share some personal stuff that happened to me that might resonate with someone. About a year or two ago I dealt with an anonymous stalker online who harassed me for three years. They made my life a living hell because they decided they didn't like me as a person. They'd send me abusive messages, involved themselves in my personal life, and threatened to contact my estranged father just so they could try and hurt me. All because my happiness and authenticity was a threat to them. Making me miserable was what made them feel secure in themselves as a person. I've become stuck in a rut since then and the thought of posting any of my artwork, trying to win back that confidence again, terrifies me. No amount of therapy has helped me to get over that fear so I'm hoping to change therapists soon.
It's not something I really enjoy having a fear of. I want to get over it and to just feel normal again. I don't want this person to hold such power over me. I hope by watching your channel, I can get some of that confidence back.
Yea this is so true. I so deeply resonated with the sunglasses analogy. I remember I had flashes of being authentic and putting sunglasses on all throughout growing up since I moved to the states. But ever since high school I stopped really showing this side of me with anyone and isolated myself from my class. I would only feel comfortable with the friends I made a grade above but even though I had a lot of fun I also wasn’t this spontaneous self. I had some what of people pleasing and sun glasses on. I now am in college and I wear these sunglasses pretty much all the time with anyone. It’s annoying but I’m willing to do the work to connect back with my authentic self and take my sunglasses off even though it’s hard because like Julien said the sunglasses feel like they are who you now are but they’re not.
Nicely stated, thanks!
This has just changed my life… no bullshit
Confidence isn't about being loud nor is it about having everyone focused on you.
It's being confident with yourself and what you are capable of.
You can be calm, relaxed and still be confident.
Often truly confident people don't shout at all, they don't need to.
They have a Confidence that you can feel even just being in the same room as them without them having to say anything.
They listen to every word you speak without thinking of what they are going to say next or questioning how they are going to win some debate.
When it's their time to speak, they take a moment to think about what they will say and how they will say it while feeling no need to rush, no matter how others may try to do so.
That's Confidence.
Death is the constant reminder in my life of finding my truth. Going through my diet change now and realizing the inner lioness. I’ve been starving her and hunting for others to feel like I’m in a “tribe”. Ready to hunt and feel alive again. I’ve lost a lot of friends and family. What you say resonates mucho. It’s been a push and pull inside myself in feeling good in being with myself although being looked at as crazy for choosing to be alone. Thank you for speaking up your truth Julien. Not all social media is bad. I love all your different voice acting and references ❤
Mindblowing coaching on why, how and what to acknowledge, unlearn and RELEARN to be oneself. 👏👏👏👏👏 Julien & The participants who stood up, voiced out and came out in public. You are watched all across the world 🌍
Was making breakfast while Re-listening if that’s a word (probably not) and the moment the guy in the front responded with “being abandoned” genuinely made me and is currently making me well up with tears. I know exactly what feeling abandoned feels like. And I’m sure a ton of other people my age do too. Glad to know I’m not the only one.
This video is the real gold! All of the things you've said here sums up my story. 'The invisible chains' is what I call it, and the chains are the things said to me to make me keep my sunglasses on. Great great great information.
Thanks Julian!!
love julien! hes grown a ton since i started watching him and owen 10 years ago.
I like how you are bringing awareness to spirituality and to just be real with people. It is truly inspiring I appreciate all the work you put in. Thank u julien 🙏
Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . .
this man has quite literally unlocked the secret to happiness
I used to be very confident and no social anxiety until bootcamp. Institutionalization is a real thing and somehow I never bounced back fully. Hopefully this will help.
Key to confidence is to drop all self concern, fear, shame, doubt, disgust, anger, humiliation, regret, pride, contempt, jealousy, etc etc etc…
To realize that you understand how to do the right thing on your own terms without a drill Sargent or an authoritarian bossing you around in your head or in real life.
To learn how to stand up for yourself and fight the internal conflict inside of you and everybody else…
And to ultimately stop trying to escape your reality through religion, substance abuse, food, sex, and entertainment for the sake of approval…
Don’t be an escapist…
Why?
Because you walk through the valley of the shadow of death…
But you fear no evil…
Don’t run away from your glasses, your ugly face, your fat body, your boring skin and hair color and try so hard to please other escapist by being no different than a cartoon that’s energetic and thrilling at all times for the sake of approval….
Don’t escape all of who and what you are for the sake of approval and comfort…
Because your never going to find it.
Instead….
Don’t just embrace who you are alone…
But stand up for all of who you are and stand your ground and call yourself and everybody else out on the messed up ways your being treated unfairly…
Don’t let anybody including yourself tell you to..
Fly and swim at the same time…
Correct your correct statements with similar statements like 4+2=6 being incorrect because 2+4=6 is correct…. Only so that if you say it the other way around, your still wrong…
Don’t allow yourself or anyone else put you in a lose lose situation in which you can’t possibly win…
You have to stand up for who you are and learn to defend yourself…
From a toxic inner voice…
And from toxic external voices.
Yelling and screaming at you for not making them feel COMFORTABLE ENOUGH!!!!!
Because everybody is an escapist junkie one way or another feeling self concerned and sorry for themselves and sorry for others who feel self concerned and sorry for themselves….
All looking for a way to ESCAPE reality and run to the MATRIX in general…
To live in their own augmented reality (their own little world) trying to escape that valley of the shadow of death, with what ever distraction or substance they can find…
While they run away from unresolved internal conflict…
Within themselves and others..
Making everybody have chips on their shoulders and sticks up their butts in unison….
Seeking out nothing but compensation and comfort…
As well as someone to blame for making them feel threatened and uncomfortable…
Turning them into toxic escapist junkies who only care about thrills and comfort.
With all this unresolved internal conflict building up more and more and more until finally…
Snap….
You felt so threatened, helpless, overwhelmed, self concerned, and sorry for yourself…
That the fix you sought out to make it up to you..
Got bigger and bigger and bigger and more corrupt with time…
While you treated yourself and everybody else like crap…
Because with all that build up inside of you…
Of course your going to feel nothing but negative emotions, feelings, thoughts, desires, and your choices will be limited on your limited amount of understanding, and you’ll be stupid enough to make…
The wrong decisions…
And wrath will wind up becoming your outlet at some point… as well as blame…
And you will have turned to the dark side of the force..
Just like Darth Vader… 🤣🤣🤣
Becoming a threat to yourself and others…
Also…
Side effects include..
A.D.D., A.D.H.D., Bi Polar, disassociative personality disorder, schizophrenia, and psychosis….
Why???
The more and more and more unresolved internal conflict you have…
The more you do your best to escape from reality…
Because reality makes you feel threatened, helpless, overwhelmed, self concerned, and sorry for yourself enough…
To want to do everything you can to escape.
Because you lack the capacity and understanding to handle and manage internal and external conflict…
Making you feel extremely high levels of anxiety, depression, self concern, fear, shame, doubt, disgust, anger, humiliation, regret, contempt, jealousy, and BEYOND!!!
Why???
Because you always ran away from reality and ran away from conflict and did everything you could to avoid reality and avoid facing and confronting conflict…
Because self absorbed ass holes told you that you were worthless while they told you to fly and swim at the same time, and they called you retarded regardless if you were right or wrong, and when you were small, there was nothing you could say or do about it because they constantly forced you into a lose lose situation, and you lacked the understanding and comprehension on how to properly stand up for yourself, and call out the deception…
Instead…
You decided to avoid and evade conflict within yourself and everybody else…
You let that disgusting toxic inner voice win…
And believe it or not…
That disgusting toxic inner voice is whispering in everybody’s ears right now…
Turning all against themselves and everybody else…
Because a brain that stands against its self and everybody else…
Is a brain that falls…
Even a computer that stands against its self,
Will stop functioning…
And that’s exactly what a computer virus does…
It turns a computer completely against its self,
And the system crashes.
Same exact thing happens with the human brain…
For lack of a better understanding and information… lack of serious need to know information…. Oversights….
Our responses are limited only to how much we truly understand.
Once we know who we really are and once we understand why that’s a good thing…
Nobody can take that from us.
And we will know were we stand, when we know that we won’t run away.
And recede back into our uncomfortable shell…
It takes allot of weed whacking to get from point A to point Z.
That’s all there is to it.
@@Julzwkd I posted this a while back and I’m still learning as I grow…
I take these sorts of formulas like anything else I take.
From root cause, basic foundations, and I build them up.
In psychology it’s like a computer.
A Nero processing unit.
Inductive and deductive reasoning.
Storage of long term and short term memory.
How trauma impacts inductive and deductive reasoning.
And what I can tell you in my studies so far is as followed.
Everything with the mind, like any other computer, is all about association.
How we chose to associate with what we see is based on us and our personal experiences in this life.
But the key difference between our minds and a computers mind is…
Self preservation.
Making us more subseptable to trauma.
(Sorry, spelling sucks, bare with me)
When a human being calculates a decision the formula is based on limitations and boundaries placed that accumulate over time creating a persons standards, expectations, and obligations based on what is least threatening vs most threatening… thus creating our personal, moral, and ethical preferences…
We interpret examples that give us ideas and concepts, that give us reasons to believe perceive think feel chose desire and decide.
Based on association.
Say you get hungry.
You interpret the example that you are hungry, that then gives you ideas and concepts, and so on…
What compels you to personally prefer snacking on potato chips in front of you, rather than making a meal???
You feel threatened and uncomfortable with the idea of getting up, looking for pots and pans, turning on the stove, grabbing ingredients, so on and so fourth…
As opposed to the sheer comfort of grabbing potato chips that are placed directly in front of you.
The idea of personal preference being based on what threatens you, as opposed to what’s more comfortable in contrast..
Is born…
And just think about how TRAUMA plays and important role in the deconstruction of the human brain in terms of irrational threats…
Leading to irrational fear, shame, doubt, disgust, anger, and beyond.
The human minds personal weakness..
Self preservation…
It can be a strength simply turned against its self.
This is why people who grow up in traumatic broken homes are more likely to develop irrational fear, shame, doubt, disgust, anger, humiliation, and beyond…
Due to unresolved internal conflict based on rationalizing threats based on past traumatic experiences…
Which explains a growth in Transgenderism, and the rest of LGBTQ+…
People feel threatened, self concerned, helpless, and overwhelmed with socializing with people their own age of opposing genders…
Not because of genetics…
But rather…
Because of trauma.
The bases of allot of this trauma…
Is based on how they perceive themselves in the eyes of others…
Some people don’t feel adequate enough and blame parts and aspects of themselves for why they are so rejectable..
So they go about to change these aspects for the sake of approval, comfort, recognition, and beyond…
Because they base their self worth on how much approval they can obtain from the vast majority.
People’s personal beliefs are constantly being misguided by the corrupt pharma industries and major corperations who sell everybody on a lie…
That their free to do as they please and express themselves however they wish…
And yet…
Their trapped doing only what is approvable by the vast majority in the name of radical acceptance of all immorality in the name of love, Unity, diversity, and beyond.
They try to get everybody to identify with their traumas, fears, shames, doubts and beyond.
So that people try to drown out their sorrows with expression, attention seeking, abusive behaviors, substance abuse, etc etc etc.
Because people develop addictive personalities if their dealing with unresolved internal conflict.
Pharmacy industry just drugs everybody to keep it going.
This guy has true confidence. I really love listening to his talks
I love being clean shaved and normal haircut suits me the best should I purposely Grow my beard and hairs just to make me uncomfortable or should I be okay with my haircut habits...
I authentically love to be neat and clean though what's your view sir?
Clean grooming is a nice way to help how you see urself!
One thing that is paradoxical that should probably be acknowledged is that being yourself needs to be offset with self awareness of how you effect others. Is it being yourself if you are being rude or annoying to other people? To some extent you have to accept that you will put some people off, but how do you draw the line between what is yourself and what needs improvement? I think a lot of people are put into that box type personality because they have a hard time deciphering which social norms should be followed and which should be ignored. I know people that are insanely good socially, but it leads to a personality where they are often contradictive to how they act. I personally need to restrain my personality because I have a habit of saying rude or naiive things I don’t mean because I’m riffing.
The harsh truth is that i can relate with many things that he says like with the view that all are your enemies, but slowly i start to realize that many people only want the best for me and that Im worth it to be loved and be all by himself, because you are your best friend and own soulmate. Only you go through the moments that you can share with others.
Hi brother
Thank you for publishing this video, you have no idea how it made a impact on me. Really appreciate your help on people like us. I feel like I can also be more authentic and reclaim the inner Simba.
It's not about becoming confident but about REALISING confidence. Huge shift.
This is really powerful!!! Thank you for making this so clear. You are bringing to light that we have control over what we think. And we can reframe everything and deprogram are distorted thinking. Thank you Julian❤
It took the death of my loving dog, to realized i would lose everyone i love at some point in my life or even the chance of dying myself before them, but since the realization, i would have many break downs a lot that scared my family and some faced alone, i felt so much pain, but just like you said i felt a shift, i suffered and suffered mentally inflicting must with this emotional distress then now becoming someone who dealing with things that are out of my control and things that were at one time, I’ve bared misplaced hatred for my biological father because of what people told me, and while i felt that he was alive, then with more years that passed it back an ease for me to accept his death and believed at the time i didnt need my father he abandoned me im used to it, i have everyone i need here, then im a son of a single parent and our relationship wasn’t the best at first becuase she fought her own demons and tried to take care of me, my grandparents were always involved with everything that had to do with my sister and i but to my previous point, i had to understand, life isn’t perfect, my father was a child at some point too and lost himself to inevitably get himself killed, and so i will never get the opportunity to build a relationship with him in this life time, i used to be very hostile with all my family members even lash out because i felt backed in to a corner at an older age i got emotional and lashed out, but its like who that was wasn’t me, but i was fight something internally i just didn’t know what, but now i show all the love and respect everyone I truly love deserve even if they’ve caused my harm, we were all in bad places, but the journal is long and painful but the benefit of facing your demons and winning give you confidence like no other, i struggled with a lot of wondering what people thought of me, hell maybe i still do a little, but for whatever happened to me in this shift, I’ve took my mental life so seriously that i want to do anything and everything and just be the best, and i dont know where that fire comes from, but everything had to happen the way it did so we can face them and be who we truly are, and that is you are the same person as you are back then to right now, your all of you in your entire existence, to face ones self and conquer himself, i still have alot to go threw but with what I’ve learned so far and this inspiring video, i feel more myself 10 fold, so thank you so much for the bottom and new found part of my heart, thank you
Excellent video. Thank you for everything
I tell you what, I suffered with hypochondria for 6 years after a accidental drug overdose at a party, I always thought I was gonna die and if fucking ruined my life for so long. I got so angry at the fact I felt so awful all the time and when I decided to " turn around and face it" it became powerless, and it disappeared. I then realized the power I had within myself to decide what to be anxious about, and when you said that very sentence, it resonated with me so well and I hope that others read this to know it really does work. Sometimes it takes you to your absolute limit before you finally find the courage to do it, but the sooner you do, the sooner you will be free from your own chains. You'll only regret it when you're old and you wasted all that time giving energy to something that only caused you pain and misery. We only have one life, let it the fuck go.
Second video I've seen of yours and I'm still on my journey to breaking free of other issues I have, that'll ultimately have to face at some point soon, but I'd rather do it on my terms than someone else's.
Thank you for this.
I wrote this about 7 minutes into the video, and what I said about my experience, you just reiterated at 20 minute mark.
Completely legit, you speak the truth man.
7:28
What about cringe? Is cringe a social mask we put on ourselves which is a type of frame we use????
I am a fairly decent looking guy but I have bad bad teeth. Not all but 2 of them are visible when I smile. You say don’t get attached to things on the outside but would this qualify as an exception? I can’t help but to feel horrible about it. It’s going to cost me 14k out of pocket which is going to take me over a year to save up. I feel like it would be life changing for me. Just being able to smile with teeth
I thank god for creating you sir. The insight has helped a lot through processing loving a narcissist
Te escribo en español porque soy de Argentina pero escucho todos tus videos, me están ayudando mucho a encontrarme en serio con quién en verdad soy, a veces se vuelve muy incómodo y me sirve que cuentes que el proceso no es tan lindo como lo suelen mostrar (still worth it). Thank you🙏🏼
Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . .
Amor, aggregame en whatsapp
I have to admit that these new videos I'm seeing from you are very good. Pouring out deep truths and wisdom and putting it into everyday contemporary language. A lot of this really hit home with me. Keep up the good work.
Julien thank you for your great honesty, so much gratitude watching these videos.
That dude 18:48 decided that is the moment for him to be a lion
I truly admire your work....with an open mind, content very helpful.
You are crazy man , love watching your cool style.
Give that Man a Oscar!! What a speech! Thanks Man. That IS ALL i need to hear
This coat looks amazing!
Thanks! 🕺
the fact that u are providing this for free is great.
I'm glad people are watching it and applying it! 🙏
Great session. I feel everything always leads back to the point you're making, focus on yourself irregardless what the external factors are. I think this is true and to an extent it always points towards Buddha and the way he lived his life!
Thank you for confirming things i knew ..your videos are needed in this world,keep it up.
Dude I did a ton of work on myself last year and I started asking these questions, without having watched any video. I just started feeling that my issues had something to do with me feeling tense, feeling like I couldn't be myself. I started to think but when did I feel like myself? And I was around 4.
I was 29 at that time and it hurt so bad to see the damage in yourself, that you acted to protect that small child and now you are a fucking adult STILL protecting the child.
I felt stupid, I felt really sick, I felt like I was abused again, but by me. I never looked at my own self and I made me suffer. I suffered because of ME.
I commited to being genuine. That's mainly it. I started to feel my feelings and then stopped talking bad to myself. I felt comfortable in being triggered. I used to fear my monster, I actually attended neurofeedback to release that. I was so scared to express myself that I ended up in a job I hated and didn't speak up until it was too late.
My life would have been different if I realized this sooner, of course, but I'm glad I did it now. I wished I never had to put on the mask in the first place, but now I'm out of it. My mask was very thick and heavy. I think people still saw through it and I wasn't liked that much because of it.
I lost a lot and I gained a lot. I did feel that I started from scratch, I felt scared, but now I feel better.
Mr. Julien, that is your best video I have seen from you. Great job. All the best.
Some deliriously good stuff right here! Currently trying to accept the parts of myself I most deeply dislike. In terms of beliefs… once you’ve managed to let go of the limiting/stifling ones, do you actively choose new ones? Or more try and see reality for what it is without relying on artificial belief systems?
I think the latter is probably better, but I know I’m also not Julien. Ultimately, I guess its your call.
You don’t have to be loud to have confidence.
Agreed
Definitely not but you have to be confident in order to be able to be loud i guess
True, but a lot of men are not loud at all. They speak very soft and don't have the courage to speak even a bit louder. Real confidence is when you can do both but prefer not to be.
You missed the point
Exactly
Gotta date myself more! But also do more of what I know I need to do for myself, so that I know I can trust myself and grow confident that I got my own back.
Interesting take: If I am distracting myself on my phone when I could have me time is as disrespectful like scrolling on a date.
I'm glad that I was part of the event; thanks for such powerful content and btw nice socks Julien lol
12:00 can someone PLEASE give perspective or knowledge cause ive favoured everything hes said but confused on this. i thought pushing yourself to do the thing more, IS when youre doing the 'feeling it' and 'releasing it' and tapping into the moment/discomfort. cause how else, i mean i thought that was the strat but hes saying otherwise?
Hey Jay, what he is talking of is, releasing the fear at the core in the unconscious.
If you try to do it the conscious way, you can go through it by pushing through, but then you may not necessarily release the topic at the core.
It is staying and acknowledging that feeling, at first. Realizing, that you won't die. When you realized that, you are moving not through a push from the inside but from your inner true self. 🫶
Julien I love you dude, I kinda wish I was in the audience sometimes so I can be an example. I just find myself nodding and agreeing with everything you say because well… YOU JUST GET IT BRO. THIS IS THE STUFF PEOPLE RIGHT HERE.
This is one of the best clips I've seen from you yet Julien. Congrats man 🎉
Thank you so much! 🙌
You're a really great communicator. You actually give useful advise that can change our perspective of how we internalise and deal with our problems, ultimately improving our social interactions and situations. Very inspiring & valuable. Thank you for being you, and making us thankful for being us :)
This was the most impactful video since a long time, coming at me exactly at the moment where I needed it and actually started rediving in the work.
Big big thx 🙏❤
Read your bible! (KJV, preferably) ♥ . . .